This is a long one, because it involves a growing escalation of actions. TLDR at the bottom. Some terms are translated because I don’t live in an English-speaking country.
We moved houses last year, to the ugliest in the street. The previous owners must have loved Mondriaan, because the front was red/blue/yellow in windowframes and door. One paintjob, many thankful neighbors and several months later, I get an invitation to a voluntary “Collective of inhabitants”, the terms read like an opt-in HOA that you can never leave. A long list of restrictions, and no benefits? No thanks.
LAUNCHING FEBRUARY 12, 2017 (But here’s a sneak peak at what’s to come)
Dear N, You make me happy. I wish, more than anything, that it was enough. But if I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that I am full of fear. I’m afraid that like those I loved before you, I will move on in search of something else, without really knowing why. I am always and forever looking beyond what I have, even if that is someone as gentle, patient, and loving as you. I am too afraid to end something with such potential to be so beautiful, but I know it is the kinder thing to do, for your sake. You deserve so much more than my indecisiveness and fear. I don’t have the courage to tell you this yet. It breaks my heart. Love, C.
Yes, you. Has anyone ever told you everything will be okay? It may not be like we planned or hoped it would turn out but it’ll still be okay. We might as well make it into an adventure. Come on, take a little detour today, see a different part of your city. Ask your waitress how she’s actually doing. Do anything to get a smile for someone else. I don’t care what you do, just make today different. You may not remember what you actually do today but you’ll remember how you felt. How it felt to just do something different. Life is short - make the memories count.
Of course you must realize, then, that I’m not living in Arizona.You
know how hard it is to get into that deep of a lie with Dad? It’s
painful, especially how you have to look so confident when telling
stories (lies). Why am I running? I am trying to keep my path “cool,” so
in case someone is looking to “shut up someone who knows too much” I
will not be easy to find. I have also been working and establishing a
network of friends so that if someone does start looking for me, I will
know ahead of time and be warned. If that tip ever comes (I have “ears”
all over the country), that’s when I disappear, or go completely
underground. Believe me, if that necessity ever comes to pass, it will
be very difficult for anyone to find me.
One of Timothy McVeigh’s letters to his younger sister, Jennifer.