the leggings are slaying my life

Ichigo drunk texts


As requested by ainsusyaga. :)


[Need more drunk texting in your life?]


So if Ichigo got drunk one time or many times and had his phone in hand, what sort of drunk texts might he send?


1. To Orihime

i was sitting here trying to count the number of times you saved my life but i can’t

and not because i drunk. because there’s a lot really


2. To Orihime

and then the one time you SLAYED ME 

with that dress!


3. To Orihime

yoruichi told me to say that was it weird sorry


4. To Yoruichi

i can’t believe i actually texted something you said to inoue


5. To Yoruichi

so what if you’re still the only woman i’ve seen naked


6. To Yoruichi

NOT THAT YOU ARE


7. To Ulquiorra

dude i can’t believ you were really gonna let me cut off my own arm and leg to fight you

i know we were enemies but dang


8. To Aizen

so are you super lonely or just a dick bc i really go back and forth on that


9. To Gin 

if you ever considered being a motivational speaker don’t


10. To Byakuya 

so byakuya are we brunch level friends or nah


11. To Byakuya

“we’re not even first name friends” ha ha classic byakya! ;)

but serioulsy we should do brunch

nobles do brunch togehter right?


12. To Rukia 

isn’t it wierd to think that if we hadn’t met the world would be gone right now

like we saved the world b ymeeting wow


13. To Rukia

also i want you to know that i’ts cool you killed my cousin


14. To Rukia

not cool like yay but just cool like i’m not mad

well you prob know you usually do


15. To Grimmjow

look man we fought and thereofre we’re friends so i relly think you need to stop sendin gme death threats ok


16. To Grimmjow

the power of friendship it’s real


17. To Hitsugaya

but serioulsy are you dating my sister or no


18. To Hitsugaya

that sounds like something someone who was dating my sister would say


19. To Ginjo

hey remember when you came over and offered me ramen was that a hitting on me thing or no


20. To Renji

how are you so cool


21. To Renji

you are the top of cool

u know what i mean


22. To Renji

and yea the sidebursn are bc of you i’m not ashamed


23. To Tatsuki

no offense but you have a mullet now so i ahve to ask

did you gain ultimate power at some point


24. To Tatuski

ok well be careful becaue mullets are very very dangerous


25. To Kenpachi

so cool u learned your zanpakuto name! i’m so proud man

but i really still don’t want to fight you


26. To Ikkaku

isn’t it weird to think that you’re the first shinigami in the seireitei i fought

like that’s you


27. To Chad

i can always sense you


28. To Chad

wow that’s much creepier written down than i expected

but srsly i can always sense you

weird right


29. To Hichigo

if i get drunk do you get drunk


30. To Hichigo

really? all of u? even the old man?


31. To Isshin

do you think we need to communicate better


32. To Isshin

it’s ichigo  your son

u don’t have my numbr in your phone???


33. To Isshin

we maybe have a problem


34. To Ishida

hey dude remember that time i tried to kill a menos by hitting it in the feet?

yeah what you’re doing now is still stupider


35. To Ishida

i think it’s good that you want to fight alongside quincy tho

like me. i’m a quincy. so maybe fight alongside me


36. To Ishida

i’ll even let you wear my sword as a hat thats how serious i am


37. To Ishida

YOU CANNOT SAY NO TO SWROD HAT

BUCKLE UP FOLKS COS IM ABOUT TO BREAK IT DOWN TO YOU

SO IM ABOUT TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS ZAUGHTY SHIT

FIRST OFF,

NB RTED THIS DITTY VIDEO THAT SAYS “NAUGHTY BOY SAVED MY LIFE ZAUGHTY WILL RISE”

HERE’S THE LINK

BUT THEN LOUIS SLAYED THE FUCK OUT OF CHICKEN LEG 

GREASY CHICKEN LEG HERE HAD THE GUTS AND MADE THE WRONG MOVE…AGAIN. TOO DUMB TO LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES 

THEN THE NB ACCOUNT UPLOADED THIS ZAYN DEMO “I WONT MIND”

AND THE THING IS THAT IT HAS AN “X’ AFTER THE SMILEY. SO NAUGHTY BOY HAS NEVER TWEETED USING AN X

BUT THIS ONE GUY DOES

SO THIS IS STILL A CONSPIRACY I HEAR FROM A LOT OF SOURCES, I HOPE THIS ISNT TRUE BC IF IT IS ZAYN THEN I MUST SAY THAT WAS A VERY BAD MOVE TO GET BACK AT YOUR BEST FRIEND/BROTHER THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER WITH FOR ALMOST FIVE YEARS.

I SERIOUSLY HOPE THAT ZAYN WOULD JUST COME ONLINE AND TELL US EVERYTHING SO WE DONT HAVE TO SECOND GUESS BC SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING IS SO SHADY.

AND THE FACT THAT THE ONE DIRECTION INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT UNFOLLOWED ZAYN? IDK WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT IT’S DEFINITELY SOMETHING.

DONT GET ME WRONG I SUPPORT ZAYN 100% FOR GOING SOLO BUT AT LEAST GIVE US A RELEVANT REASON BC NOBODY WOULD LEAVE VERSACE FOR WALMART. PLUS ZAYN SAID THAT HE WANTED TO BE A NORMAL 22 YEAR OLD BUT HE IS GOING SOLO???

I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT ONE DIRECTION WITH OR WITHOUT ZAYN