the later it is the less my mind works

hello! this is my first attempt to share my tips with you. i sometimes struggle with just not being in mood to study, but i’ve noticed specific things that help me, so here they are

go for a power walk - i find that fresh air helps clear your mind of lazy thoughts and change of the environment is nice, especially if you’ve spend the whole day inside

call your study buddy - (if you have one) tell them you have troubles feeling motivated to study today. words of encouragement from your friends do wonders!  

turn off electronic devices - unless you need it for your study, switching your phone/laptop off might be a good idea. it’s so much easier to avoid getting distracted and pointlessly scroll through instagram for hours

remind yourself of your goals - look at your vision board / list of goals. it’s important to understand that those won’t happen unless you work for them

make an action plan - write out a to-do list and make sure to break down complicated tasks into smaller and easier ones. you will feel more accomplished as you’re completing the task

power nap - maybe you’re too tired and overloaded with work. in that case you will feel more focused if you take a short nap and come back to your study session later

1.. 2.. 3.. go! - rule my friend shared with me. basically, you imagine the task you want to do and then count to three and start doing it. after three seconds your mind comes up with excuses and you’re less likely to even start

that’s it! if you have any tips, feel free to add on. hope you find it helpful and have a nice rest of the day!
Drive - Chapter 1 - by proantagonist
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Surprise! I wrote a new canon-divergent Victuuri fic. This one’s been on my mind for weeks.

Summary: A story in which two sets of best friends road trip across America together.

Yuuri remembers the Sochi Grand Prix banquet. He knows what he had the audacity to ask his idol, but that doesn’t make it any less confusing when Victor Nikiforov shows up at Nationals two weeks later with a bouquet of roses in hand and a smile that doesn’t fool anyone.

Victor has lost his drive and should be prepping for the European Championship instead of flying to Japan on a whim. After a crushing defeat at Nationals, Yuuri is in the midst of a crisis himself. Good thing they have their best friends – Phichit and Christophe – at their sides to keep them from falling apart. (And to encourage them in the right direction.)

When Victor learns Yuuri must return to Detroit to finish college, he makes a rash decision to come to America with him. But why rush the journey? There’s more than a week before classes start, dual existential crises to escape, and a budding romance to nurture.

Time for a road trip.

Read more on AO3

Mixed Blessings

Fandom: Star Trek (AOS/TOS).
 Reader x Spock.
Prompt: Anon requested - Hello, I want to request a fic where the reader is in a (new) relationship with Bones or Spock (your choice). No one knows she should be on long-term meds to prevent migraine attacks. She asks Spock to teach her Vulcan mediation techniques to battle the attacks (but doesn’t tell him why). It doesn’t go well. Bones keeps her in med bay / on bed rest in her quarters (maybe Spock can help with the treatment?). They kinda police her med intake until she’s more comfortable having to take them. THX!
Word Count: 3702.
Rating: All ages.
Author’s Note: To the lovely Anon I had the pleasure of chatting with the other day who felt like Spock wasn’t getting enough love – I hope this is good! It was that conversation that swayed me towards writing Spock for this one instead of Bones, and I hope I’ve done him justice!

Mixed Blessings

You sit curled up against Spock’s side, enjoying the slight chill he’s giving off as the beginnings of what you’re sure is going to be a terrible migraine throb behind your eyes.  Your neck feels tight, the lights too bright, and the nearly-inaudible background hum of the warp core far too loud as your stomach turns: the auras are old news to you by now, you’ve been suffering from migraines since the age of fourteen, and lately they’ve been intensifying and coming nearly daily.

“Hey Spock?”  You say softly, your own voice echoing in your head and egging the headache on.

“Yes, ashayam?”  He asks, making your lips curl into a small smile at the term of endearment.

“I was wondering, can you teach me to meditate?”  You murmur.

He pauses momentarily as though considering what possible motivations you might have to want to learn the art of Vulcan meditation.

“Of course,” he replies.  “Is there any particular reason why you would like to learn?”

You shake your head, feeling the pain throb and reach out further, taking over you.  It’s all you can do to keep from throwing up on the spot as black spots dance in your vision.

“No,” you say in what you hope is a light and conversational tone.  “It might just be nice to be able to turn my mind off for a while sometimes.  Maybe it’ll help me worry less and detach myself from my work a bit.”

Keep reading

What do you do when you realize the love of your life has always belonged to another? When the happy memories the two of you, memories that mean the world to you, mean shit to them? How do you drive by places the two of you visited with dopey looks in your eyes, and not want to dissolve into emotional turmoil? I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately I’m still trying to figure that out for myself. I read a quote the other day that said something similar to, “Too often we see people who aren’t in love and together, and people who are in love and aren’t” or some other bullshit to the same affect. However, that really hit home to me. I’m in love with someone who isn’t and never was in love with me, and the emotional devastation I felt when I realized this was so unfathomable that I wouldn’t wish it on even the most evil human being.

I grew up believing in the idea of soulmates, and spent the majority of my teenage years and even some of my adult life searching for that person. I sought out my happiness in the hearts and minds of men before I saw them for who they were. But I’m not here to talk about the boy who broke my heart at 15, or even the one who broke it again in May of my 19th year. No. This is about David.

At 18 years old, I realized that I was a raging alcoholic. Not all that hard to believe, sure, but still a shock factor to some. The indicator should have been when I flunked out of college due to being too drunk to attend my classes. I drank all day every day with the sole purpose of drinking my problems away. Ignorance is bliss, and when you can’t remember anything, all you can feel is bliss. When I came home after my one and only semester of college, I came to the conclusion that I would have to get a job to support my alcoholism, so I did. I went into work everyday with one singular thought on my mind, and the same thought before I went to bed, “I need a goddamned drink.” Surprisingly, it was easy to find for a 19 year old girl in a small, hick town. I had no serious relationship to worry about fucking up, and a dead-end job at an ice cream parlor, therefore, I had no consequence should I find myself suffering from drunken decision making.

Parties were easy to find during that summer, and I attended them at least 5 times a week. It was at a party such as this that I met David (introduced to me as Davi), whom I later had drunken sex with at a friend’s apartment while another friend watched. Imagine my surprise when I found out the next morning that the man I barely remembered having sex with had a girlfriend. I suppose I should have felt some guilt, but due to the alcohol still effecting my mind when I went to work the next morning, I found that I couldn’t have cared any less about it.

I put the man out of my mind, an easy feat since I hardly remembered even speaking to him, and my partying and fucking continued. I saw him after this of course, due to the limited amount of available partying space and mutual friends. After that first night, he always had his girlfriend with him. We didn’t speak. He and I weren’t friends or even aquatinted. We had merely shared orgasms after a night of alcohol consumption, and that was that. Up until the Fourth of July. A wild night for being a teenager in Louisa, Kentucky. I cleared the weekend with my family, and decided to myself that it was about time for a bender.

Friday night rolled around, and I found myself talking to Davi for the first time in months. No girlfriend to be seen, I thought that I might at least have an opportunity for a repeat performance of some of the best sex I’d ever had. I didn’t expect for him to ask me genuine questions or for him to take an interest in anything I had to say. The majority of conversations I’d been used to having at parties were, “So do you want to come back to my place after this?” Or, “Can we go upstairs for a quickie?” I blamed our conversation on the killer weed we’d smoked together, and went to bed with him eagerly that night.

The next morning, we continued to talk, and I found myself getting interested. Dangerous waters, I know, but I was intrigued. I’d never met another person who seemed so interested in how my mind worked and what I thought. It was addicting, more so than any drug I’ve ever had the pleasure of doing (more than I’d care to admit) and listening to him talk was worse. I hung onto every word he uttered with a reverence, as if he was telling me the secret of life.

This continued all weekend and into the next week until I found myself spending everyday by his side. He dutifully sat through meetings with my loud, obnoxious family and loved it. We went hiking, an activity I never particularly enjoyed until I did it with him. But the best days (or nights I should say) were spent at his best friend’s apartment, getting high and talking about literally anything that came to mind. I craved those days more than I ever craved alcohol, to the point I felt like I no longer needed to drink. I’d found a different way to lose my mind, and I lost it every day in him.

And the sex. My god the sex. Davi fucked me like he’d never fuck anyone ever again. It was passionate, loving, and just the right side of rough all at the same time. We’d stare into each other’s eyes as if we couldn’t believe we were so lucky to be seeing the other one naked. There was a kind of awe in the air every time we did it, and it was a heady, addictive feeling.

The night I snuck him into my house to ditch a party, I knew I was in love. That’s the exact moment I realized I was fucked. Up until now, it had just been a bit of fun, you see. We talked about things that mattered, hung out, and fucked, it was never supposed to go any further. There’d been no mention of the girlfriend. That was a topic we avoided altogether. Now, however, I was at the point of no return. How could I tell him that I had fallen in love along the way? That was never supposed to happen, and I hadn’t wanted it to. But you see, the universe has a special way of saying, “Fuck you” when you’re vulnerable like that.

So, within the week we were done. He and the girlfriend had decided that they were going to work through their issues, you see? She was the love of his life, he regretted everything we’d done. He wished he’d never spoken to me that weekend in July. So on and so forth. But, he had. He had willingly done this, both to himself and to me. For the first time in over a month, I was craving a drink. I wanted to drink and fuck him out of my memory, and out of my heart.

Of course I was due for another “Fuck you” from Fate, because he turned up on that lovely night in August where all I wanted to do was get blacked out drunk. He ended up holding me while I cried (a definite side effect if I’m drinking whiskey) and cuddled with me at that same friend’s apartment where we shared so many nights together.

And like so many men before him, I let him back into my life. I thought that by spending enough time together, I could make him fall in love with me too. An easy feat, I thought, since there were pre established feelings between us. I was dead wrong. Through every failed attempt, I stuck to my guns, thinking that eventually he’d see how much I cared for him and about him and realize, “Hey, I’ll never find another girl to love me as much as she does, I need to focus my attention on her.”

I can’t explain to you how wrong that I was. Up until this point I thought I was being successful. We would talk about our futures together, traveling the world and the children we would have together, most of these images and ideas conjured by him. I began to think that he might possibly be in love with me too, and I reveled in that feeling. The girlfriend was still not in the picture, we still avoided her name at all costs, lest even the mention of her shatter the fragile web we’d spun together.

Until she came back for good.

It’s been just over a week since he and I have talked, and I’ve never felt more empty in my whole life. He didn’t just break my heart, he ripped it out of my chest cavity and took it with him when he drove away from my house for the last time. Many times over the years I’ve thought about taking my life, even attempted to on more than one occasion. Now, that doesn’t even seem like it’s enough. I wish that I had never existed. To never be born would be better, for I never want to experience this feeling. Why humans were given emotions, I’ll never know. No animal should be subjected to this torture. Human emotions are a special kind of hell designed to prepare us for an eternity of suffering.

I wish there were a way to erase him from every iota of my being. Scientists say that every 7 years, all of the cells in our bodies are replaced with new ones. One day, I will be an entirely new person that he will never know or see. This doesn’t stop me from wishing he could. I wish he could see the crooked way I smile because he always complimented it, or the way my eyes change to gold in the light because he said it’s the thing he loved the most about me. And the evil part of me wishes he could see the bad that he did to me. How I lost 40 pounds after he broke it off with me, and the 10 after she came back, because he knows that when I’m depressed I don’t eat. I wish he could feel the cold tile of the bathroom on his cheek like I did when I cried for him to just come back. I want him to taste the tears like I have to as I write this.

But most importantly, I want him to experience this heartbreak that I’m feeling. I want her to look at him one day and say, “I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be,” and then to look at her in disbelief while he tries to hide it, even though he can feel his heart shatter and fall apart. I want him to look at her with tears in his eyes and say, “Please don’t do this. I love you,” only for her to smile sadly and say, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

So, Davi, if you’re reading this, I hope you hurt. I hope you wake up everyday in agony over a broken heart. I hope that you realize one day what you’ve done, and I hope you feel never ending remorse for it. I hope that late at night you sit down and think to yourself, “I destroyed that girl,” because that’s exactly what you’ve done. I hope for the rest of your life you’re never happy. I hope that you wake up every day in pain and go to sleep in pain and dream of that pain. I hope that you never fulfill your dreams, and that you stay stuck in Louisa for the rest of your life. I hope that many years from now, when you see me again, being happy with someone else and giving them the love I tried to give you, that it makes you sob uncontrollably. I hope you come up to me and beg for my forgiveness. I hope you look at me and say, “I never should have let you go. If I could take it all back now I would. I love you, Nicole.”

And at that moment I will say, “It doesn’t matter.”

Nicole Lynn

Quite frankly, this is just plain weird.

The first time he sees Yuuri casually bring the yellow fruit to his lips, Victor does a double-take. “Yuuri, that’s a lemon, not an apple,” he says bemusedly. “The apples are over—”

There’s a deafening silence as Yuuri bites firmly into the flesh, staring Victor dead in the eye. He chews slowly, savors, swallows, waits while Victor’s mouth hangs open then shuts with an audible click.

He offers three words of explanation: “I like lemons.”

Victor blinks, raises a wry brow. “…Yes, well, I can see that.”

“I like lemons,” Yuuri says firmly with an air of redundancy, of stubborn will. “I know I’m weird.”

To his credit, Victor recovers remarkably quickly and lets his lips slacken into a gentle smile. “Isn’t it sour?” he asks curiously, leaning forward to study the fruit in his trainee’s hand.

Yuuri takes another bite, and Victor tries not to wince as he sees yet another large chunk taken from the lemon’s skin, from its acidic center. “Sour, yeah. And bitter.”

“Then why do you eat it?”


Victor can’t imagine it. It can’t possibly be good. He remembers the last time he accidentally ate a lemon wedge, mistaking it for a pale orange. It had taken half a mug of beer to return feeling to his tongue. “Odd.”


Yuuri can see him staring, though, noting the way Victor eyes each and every bite, every swallow that passes his throat. “Is something the matter?”

Victor doesn’t respond, but Yuuri accepts the silence casually, waits for an answer. He’s got half a lemon left. Maybe he’ll grab another one. The Japanese skater cocks his head and studies Victor’s thoughtful expression before nodding to himself and moving closer to the expensive fruit basket situated on the kitchen counter.


“Mm—?” Yuuri turns around, another lemon in hand, then promptly stiffens as Victor swoops in close, those iridescent blue eyes so clear now that there are only scant centimeters between Yuuri’s face and his coach’s. He swallows a yelp.

Only, the yelp escapes as Victor presses forward, closing the distance and bringing their lips together. It’s surprisingly gentle, oddly chaste in a way Yuuri can’t explain. His heart flutters to the thousandth beat of a hummingbird’s wings, and his eyes soften from their wide initial shock, his body melting as if to blend into Victor’s firm yet pliable chest. It’s liberating, the way he can feel Victor’s own heart thud solidly against his, the time signature of a man who had once been a legend milestones away.

But he’s here now and he’s so close, and oh god he’s tasting Victor in his mouth and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get the smell of his former idol’s cologne out of his memory for as long as he lives.

The kiss lasts a second. It’s short and to the point and ends right when Yuuri’s eyes close, right when he’s ready to give more and feel more. It ends right when his shoulder slacken and his arms come up as if to embrace his coach, and then Victor’s pulling back and he’s got this pensive expression on his face like something’s wrong.

Oh no, what did I mess up this time?


It takes Yuuri a second to process the word. “Uu—aahh, huh?”

Not his best moment.

Victor frowns into the back of his hand, a deep furrow cast between his brows. The feather-lightness between Yuuri’s shoulder-blades sinks for every second Victor doesn’t meet his eyes.

Finally, Victor looks up. “I thought it’d be sweet,” he says.

Yuuri blinks. “The lemon?”

“The lemon,” the Russian affirms with a nod.


Yuuri looks down to the remaining bites of the lemon in his hand, and stares at the wrinkled seeds within as if they hold the answer of what to say, what to do.

Because Victor had just kissed him, only it wasn’t a kiss, it was probably just a random taste test or something or, or, or—

“It’s a lemon, Victor. It’s not going to be sweet.” Yuuri frowns and masks the shaking in his hands with another bite into acidic flesh.

“But you’re sweet.”


“You’re very sweet, Yuuri,” Victor says simply, a goofy smile on his face. It makes Yuuri’s heart flip flop for the third time in thirty seconds.

“I—" How am I supposed to respond to that?

Someone’s watch beeps. It’s probably his.

“Come now, break time’s over. Time to get back to practice.”




Yuuri wipes the sweat from his brow, his chest heaving from the latest run-through of Eros. He can feel his blood singing, his lungs drawing in massive gulps of air to satisfy the deficiency inside him, to ease the ache inside his muscles. Grabbing one more large breath, he twists on his heel and begins to skate back to the edge, back to where Victor stands with a critique ready on his tongue.

Only Victor’s not there, and what’s on his tongue isn’t a cutting review but the vibrant flesh of a plump crimson bell pepper.

Yuuri hears the crunch and flinches despite himself, huffing a laugh under his breath. He adores the man, yes, but Victor can be so weird sometimes.

“Where did you even get that from?” he asks, grabbing a towel and drying off his hair.

“You mother dropped by,” answers the silver-haired man around another bite of the spicy fruit (vegetable?). “She has some lemons for you, too, though I still don’t understand how you can enjoy something so sour.”

Pot, kettle! Yuuri snorts and slicks his hair back again. The rush of Eros still thrums within his body, and he stretches languidly, reveling in the otherworldly sense of knowing Victor’s gaze on his back, on his backside.

Who’s a pork cutlet bowl fatale now? he thinks smugly to himself.

It brings a thought to mind, to the incident that had occurred the other day. He’d thought at first that the kiss would change something somehow, but it seems otherwise, because his relationship with his coach hasn’t shifted in any way. It’s slightly regrettable, but then again, he muses idly, it isn’t that they can really get much closer given how close they already are.

“Victor,” he says sharply, quickly, the syllables gunfire against his lips.


Yuuri sneaks forward, fueled by the sensuality of his previous performance, and bites Victor’s lips, presses an open-mouthed kiss into a slack jaw. He moves quickly, one second, two seconds, lips and tongue and teeth, and feels Victor’s shuddering sigh before pulling back right as Victor leans forward.

He’ll regret it in the morning, when the world feels less like a dream, but right now he doesn’t care. Probably won’t care later, actually, so never mind.

“Ah, wha—”  

“Huh.” Yuuri lowers his eyelids, licks his lips. “It’s very sweet.“

How would the romanced companions react to something falling in between F!Sole's cleavage and seeing her flustered, desperately trying to get it out??

I laughed a little bit I really did because this also happened to me to anon, I dropped a bit of hot nugget down my cleavage and yelled at my partner for not helping me get it and he was like where in public, no :/ :/ ??

Cait, She watched for a moment with a wicked smirk on her face, “As much as I like watching you touch your on boobs hun, I do think helping you would be even more so”. She pulled sole’s chin up, giving her a quick hot kiss while slipping her hands down and removing the offending object, “all you needed to do was just ask hun”. She gave sole a smug grin. 

Curie She looked at sole confused as she watched them, rooting around in their on shirt flustered, “Have you lost something my dear”. She gave her an innocent smile as she gently removed her hands, “okay let’s see what’s down there”. She gently removed the item with her slender fingers, giving sole a cheeky giggle as she did so.  The cheeky look didn’t leave her face as she told sole “all better now”. 

Danse He was redder than sole and desperately not trying to make eye contact, when she yelled at him for some help he awkwardly walked over immediately staring, “apologies, do you want me to? err….oh..I’ll see what I can do”. He gingerly removed the item, not looking sole in the eye once, then stepping back and clearing his throat. “It’s gone, apologies for being embarrassed myself”. Sole couldn’t held laughing, and pulling him in for a big hug.

Deacon “lose something babe? don’t worry I’m fully prepared to except this life of death mission”. Much to sole’s displeasure, Deacon gave a commentary about how he may never return, he slipped his hand into sole’s cleavage fishing for the item, “noo!! it’s got me the cave monster’s eating my hand” He yelled, eventually pulling out the unwanted item, “Nah just joking babe it’s just this”. Sole couldn’t be mad with her childish lover, breaking out in a giggle fit at his comments. 

Hancock “A show for me? aww baby it isn’t even my birthday” He teased sole, shamefully watching her until she became angry with him. “Alright cool it sweets I’d be happy to retrieve it”. He made a point of taking his time to have a “good search” before finally retrieving the object. He grinned at her, “isn’t really fair this thing got to be in there longer than me though, might have to fix that later” 

Nick If he could blush he’d be redder than her, the site of her rummaging around in her own top made Nick have to turn around and try to cool off. When he was yelled at or not helping, he strode over and stuck his fully covered hand down retrieving the object swiftly, “Now maybe I can get back to work, less distracted by err”. He pointed to sole’s chest, “Maybe I could do that again later, take my time though” He coughed, clearing his mind and returning to his desk. 

Maccready His eyes lit up at the site of souls hands down her own top, he could tell she’d dropped something but he preferred to observe rather than intervene, when soul yelled at him, he just laughed at her, “No no, you’re doing a good job of handling this yourself go ahead”. He carelessly stared until she managed to get the shell she’d dropped, “finished already, darn, just when I was really starting to enjoy watching”. 

Preston Seeing sole fluster as she dug around made him smile slightly amused, “Want me to have a go at getting that?”, he awaited confirmation before sticking his hands down to retrieve the item, giggling the whole time like a naughty school boy, “careful next time babe, wouldn’t want to be caught with my hands down the generals shirt”. He gave a small life, cheeks slightly pink. 

Piper Used to this thing happening to her quite often it didn’t really phase her, “Hey blue stick out your chest, move your hands and I’ll grab it for you” She laughed at sole’s flustered face as she removed the item, “she kissed sole on the cheek when she was done, “Next time try keeping a napkin over you so you don’t drop food in your tat-tats okay”. She stuck her tongue out and nicked the rest of her lovers snack.  

X6-88 Flat out just sticks his hands into her top and grabs what she’s dropped but not expecting to enjoy the task so much, “It is very warm and comfortable in here”. He just stays not  hands quite comfortable, until sole shifts them, laughing at his behavior, “was that inappropriate for a public place?” 

Maxson When he notices his girlfriend angrily rummaging in her uniform, he knows it could be a good opportunity, he closes the door to his office and approaches her, slowly pulling her arms out of the uniform and down to her waist. When sole looks at him confused he smirks and undoes her bra in a swift movement. The item dropping to the floor, “There you go sweetheart now there’s noting to bother you”.He gives her a devilish grin 

anonymous asked:

I'm a girl(20) and I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want kids. I know that it's stressful as fuck and selfish but anytime I'm around little kids or babies I start changing my mind and begin to have that desire. How do I permanently get it in my brain to not want kids later on!!? I hate this desire I have for kids and I'm tired of going back and forth about it. I know I don't want them but so often I get baby fever.

It is just your hormones.

The planet needs us to be more in control of ourselves and less acting out of hormonal desires or rage.

132million orphans and counting. If you want more kids or some kids then you can always adopt or work with children who need the love and attention most.

Eugene Onegin: a summary, in Hamilton quotes
  • Act I
  • Tatyana: Olga, remind me what we're looking for
  • Olga: Tatyana, I'm lookin' for a mind at WORK
  • Lensky: My name is Lensky / I am a poet / I wrote this verse just to show it
  • Onegin: Now, Vladimir's skill with the quill is undeniable / But what do we have in common? We're reliable —
  • Onegin and Lensky: — WITH THE LAAADIES
  • Tatyana: Helpleeeeesssss
  • Lensky: Love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints
  • Olga: Talk... less
  • Tatyana: Three hours later I'm writin' a letter nightly
  • Onegin: Good luck with that, you're taking a stand / You spit, I'ma sit; we'll see where we land
  • Tatyana: booooo
  • Act II: [A winter's ball / And the Larina sisters are the envy of all]
  • Onegin: hey
  • Lensky: hey
  • Onegin and Lensky: hey — hey — hey
  • Onegin: You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied
  • Olga: He's a bit of a flirt, but I'ma give it a chance
  • Onegin: Careful how you proceed, good man / Intemperate indeed, good man
  • Lensky: You only stand for yourself; it's what you do / I can't apologize because it's true
  • Zaretsky: [literally all of Ten Duel Commandments]
  • Lensky: If this is the end of me at least I have a friend with me
  • Onegin: They won't teach you this in your classes / But look it up, Vladimir was wearing his glasses
  • Lensky: [He aims his pistol at the sky]
  • Onegin: WAIT
  • Act III
  • Onegin: I survived, but I paid for it
  • Tatyana: I have found a wealthy husband who will keep me in comfort for all my days
  • Gremin: My life is gon' be fine 'cause Tatyana's in it
  • Onegin: You'll be back / Soon you'll see / You'll remember you belong to me
  • Onegin: fuuuuuuuuuuuu—
  • The End

                It’s been less than two days since I have this blog, 
                but I really want to approach plotted threads now!!
                Particularly because those are usually lengthy and have
                an huge impact on the development of my muse. 

                Anyway, in case you’re interested in plotting with my Akira, 
                please just hit up the little heart-button below and I’ll pop up
                in your IM to discuss some lovely threads!! 

                I’m a novella roleplayer by heart, but I don’t mind writing shorter
                for plotted threads if that’s your preference.

                It naturally applies what I’ve written down in my rules, but to
                make a quick summary - I’m honestly fine with plotting
                just anything.
Roleplays can take place at technically any
                point of the game as well, just not post-game yet since
                I’m currently only in mid November of the game. 
                Want to fight shadows with me? COUNT ME IN. I love that. 
                Do you just want to thread some normal stuff? SURE WHY NOT. 
                Just toss at me any idea you might have; fair warning that 
                I’m the queen of angst, though. 
                 The only thing I won’t plot per se are shippy threads. 
                 If you already have an interest in shipping with me that’s fine,
                 though. If you reach out for me in private we can talk about it -
                 but I’m only shipping based on chemistry so even then there
                 is no guarantee for it; especially since I’m ship exclusive.
                 Hence I’ll only ship with one blog of each muse and I do expect
                 this to be mutual, ultimately.  


Let’s talk Voltron Legendary Defender theories

Given that the full season of the newest incarnation of Voltron is out, I thought that now was as good a time as any to talk about the future of the series and what could be coming up. The theories here are divided into four sections: General –which covers the whole show and the overall story line, Characters –which covers the characters and their solo missions or future roles, Relationships –covers shipping, family, bonds with each other, Future –this includes anything for future characters from the old series as well as what might happen in say Season two and characters we haven’t met yet.

So let’s start with General theories.

Within the Voltron, those that grew up with the 1980s, 1990s and 2000s versions of the series will know this quite well, that there is always several story lines running in parallel to the main plot. In this case we’ve been dropped a few hints of a few things so let’s take them piece by piece.

1.       Shiro’s arm, just exactly what is it?

We know that Shiro has that arm for a reason, but we don’t know why it was taken off in the first place or why his hair is cut differently or colored differently. In one year’s time he not only loses an arm, but he also has his hair turn white. We know for sure that it was implanted on him after the contest that he was in and clearly there is more missing memories from Shiro himself in regard to the connection with the villains, Emperor Zarkon of the Galra Empire, as we see flashes of something when he gets attacked by Zarkon directly in the last episode. Furthermore we know that Hagar was the one that implanted the arm on him and that she said that he was going to be the greatest weapon ever. Sendek remarks that his arm is an older model, yet Hagar seems to believe that he’s still the strongest of her creations.

So what is his arm really? We know it’s some sort of weapon developed by Hagar for the Galra Empire, but why? My guess on this is that Shiro was going to be the first in an elite form of solider that could be controlled directly via Zarkon. Only he escaped. We know that the arm is Galra tech and that it seems to be really useful in regard to powering up systems and other aspects. I can only speculate that this arm is probably going to be cause for future trouble down the road, and it, or Keith, are clearly how the Galra empire is tracking them. I’m pretty sure they’re going to start thinking its Shiro’s arm and this might play into the whole issue about trust for Lance, but that’s for the character aspect. The question now is, what are they going to do with the arm and, if he loses it, are they going to replace it with something else?

2.       Where are the lions going?

Again we look at episode 13 in the series and the lions and ship have been split up. Each is thrown into a different area, which I think is going to play up to their own character building in the second season. Season one was about the team, getting them together and getting interactions between them, season two is going to be about direct character building and solo episodes focusing on changing the characters perceptions of things.

As for where they’re going to go I can hazard a few guesses based on previous series. We know that each has their own view points of things and their own desires, given the spell that Hagar cast I don’t think it’s going to be hard to believe that they’re not going to be able to communicated with one another for a bit:

Lance, by far, is the easiest and probably the one that will be the hardest to get to come back and join the group. We know that he’s missing the earth the most, as he’s the one that talked about his family the most and we saw in his images in episode four: “Some Assembly required” where we see the large family that he has. He mentions about earth the most in regard to wanting to go back, so it would make sense then that he’s the one that lands on earth once more and has to deal with the conflict of returning to the team or staying on earth.  So I’m theorizing that Lance ends up back on earth for at least one or two episodes.

Pidge probably will land someplace near her family, possibly even planet Doom. Kate is determined to find them, and Pidge has shown that she has the skills and the wiliness to want to look for them. The question is, will they be able to leave with her? I don’t think they’re going to wrap that story up that fast as it plays a part in Shiro’s tale as well. So my best guess is that Pidge will land up close, if not on, the plant where her brother Matt is.

Keith, I’m suspecting that Keith is more then we know. He seems to have it out for the Empire, more so then Shiro, and he takes a lot of risks with it. There’s more about him that I want to talk about in the character section, so we’ll leave that till later. The thing about Keith is that he’s the sort that wants to do right, and clearly that bit on his arm is going to play a part later. I’m guessing here that he’s going to end up probably some place where he’s going to have to not let his temper get the better of him and learn how to focus more on being a leader, or at least the second in command.

Hunk, I’m not sure where? Back by his friends on the Balmera with Shay? Or in a totally different location. Hunk’s the hardest to figure because of what we have to work with. We know Lance wants to go home, we know Pidge wants to find her family, but Hunk and Keith we can only guess at. I’m assuming that Hunk will land up some place interesting, maybe where the Drule Empire is, or possible something like it. Again Hunk is the hardest to speculate about along with Keith where they should end up.

Shiro on the other hand has a few options, either on the planet where the Drule is, which would be an interesting place to start introducing those characters, or, more likely, on the planet Pollux. Pollux was from the second half of the US Voltron Continuity and where Sven (Shiro’s counterpart) met up with Princess Romelle, Allura’s cousin. If Shiro does end up here and meets with both Romelle and Prince Lotar (who is Zarkon’s son), who becomes a rather important enemy of the Voltron crew and what they stand for. Pollux could also be home base for them for the rest of the series or at least allow them some way of getting into a garrison so that they can gain an army. So my guess, Shiro winds up on Pollux and we get Romelle or Lotar this upcoming season.

Allura and Corran, they may just end up back on their home world for a bit. Giving the princess time to figure out what to do and also we’ll get some back story and may run into her nanny or other characters that could be on the planet.

3.   What’s up with Keith?

While Keith is a hot head, there’s something a bit strange about him. From Episode one we have him sensing when the ship holding Shiro lands. Then later we see the others struggle to understand the alien Language, but Keith seems to have no issue with it and yet doesn’t understand it himself.

               Lance: (after pressing a few buttons) “Ahhh, I don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s all Galra jibberish.”

               Keith: (comes over) “Let me see.”

               Both look at the screen and then Keith puts his hand on the middle mark and it lights up to shut the doors.

               Lance: “Whoa! How’d you do that?”

               Keith: “I just put my hand on the hand print.”

So why does this work then? We know that from an earlier episode that they had to use the hands of the robots to enter areas that had Galran access, but then we get this scene followed by, less than two episodes later Allura having to take Shiro due to his Galran arm to access things. So how come Keith can access the doors? Well two options come to mind, firstly that it’s not a locked down system and that anyone could have touched it and it would have shut. Lance even says “Maybe” when he first looks at it, as it’s clearly the “Big Red Button” type of item on the command console. Yet we’ve seen that same print on other items and they’ve needed Shiro’s help or the robot’s hand to get them out of there. So, that leads to option two, Keith’s part Galran?

            There’s at least a few hints dropped so far in the series that could lead to this belief. First off Keith has the same hotheaded temperament that the other Galran’s have during battles. He’s out to attack and stop them, taking on Lance’s role from the original Voltron. Secondly, we know that he somehow knew to come to get Shiro, and we know from Shiro that there’s been flashes there in his head about things to happen. Then there’s this little bit and later when Keith gets hit by the Galran’s priest’s spell and slammed into the yellow Quintessence 

he loses some of the color of his skin and it turns purple,

 I figured he was burned, but later that gets healed when he has the yellow quintessence itself.

 So that made me think that the spell is what hit him and not the purple version of the Quintessence. It’s also interesting that it’s the same hand as Shiro’s, so probably we’re going to see Keith turn out to be part Galran, and I have a suspicion of who he might be or might be connected to if they want to go that route, but again that has to come up for later in the post.

Even Zarkon notes in Episode 13 that Keith fight’s like a Galran Solider. Hints of what’s to come with his character?

4.    Zarkon was the original black Paladin?

If this is true then he was the leader a long time ago, but what made him become so angry and upset? It’s clear that you don’t have to be human to be a paladin in this series, and that Zarkon wields the black bayard, but he doesn’t seem to have the capability to bond with the black lion anymore as Shiro’s taken on that role. But does Shiro’s ability to bond come from himself or the fact that he has Galran tech? Zarkon hints at the fact that he knows more about the lions than anyone else. But what made him go evil in the first place? He mentions that weakness is an infection that needs to be stamped out, but what gave him this thought. My guess would be that there was a situation where Zarkon couldn’t get his team to work as a unit, or they weren’t strong enough to stop something from attacking and thus making him feel that he had to destroy that weakness in others so that they could handle anything and it went to his head.

The issue with Zarkon is that in order to be a Voltron Paladin you had to have a good heart, something the lion could sense, and that would mean at one point he was good. So did his wife or loved ones die? Did he see the king make a tragic mistake and that caused him to go to this? I’m pretty sure we’re going to get some back story on him in Season two as it’s too good to leave out.

5.   Haggar (Hagar)’s plans

Again I have to hold off till characters to talk about a theory I have about this woman. However there are a few things I can talk about. She is entrenched in dark magic, calling upon the idea of a compass to create spells and is highly powerful. It’s clear that Zarkon trust her, but why? He’s a great leader, and it’s clear that he respects her, and yet even when she fails he still follows her lead. I can only guess that she’s hoping to eventually have control over him and that they are playing a very private game of chess. But why does she want Shiro so much? Shiro became the champion, yet she said he was her best creation. What does that mean exactly? Also how is she transferring the life force into those giant monsters and where is she getting them from?

I can only suppose that, as Commander Porok pointed out, she has his ear. Which leads me to think, given who he was in the past, she may have convinced him either with words or magic to change his point of view for some reason or another.

6.   Who is the hand that saves them?

This one’s a bit tricky as there could be a few characters that could fit this bill from the original series. We’re treated to the attack with a dragon indicated blade owner is some affiliation that doesn’t want to see Zarkon win.

 Problem is that the dragon blade wasn’t in the original series so one can’t suppose off of that. The options might seem a bit weird but hear me out:

Option one is Thrace, the Galra officer we saw pull the blade from the robot. The issue is, why is he helping out? I can only suppose that the different groups in the military of Zarkon are not really there of their free will and he wants freedom for his people. Other option is that he’s working with the same group as Rolo was and was trying to find a way to help their only hope, Voltron. Thrace also might be the one to discover the mess and is trying to find out who did it.

Option two is a changed, or transformed version of Matt or Katie and Matt’s dad. However I don’t see the series going that way in story telling as finding Matt and her father is part of Pidge/Katie’s overarching character arch. The thing is it would fit in with the idea of him being changed, as the last Shiro saw of him was a blubbering mess. The only thing I can consider is that he was used as a possible test.

Option three being either Commander Hazar or his sister Dorma.

 Both are members of the Drule Empire and both are shown to be compassionate characters. Hazar in the old series was more of a zuko type and that probably would be right up the alley for this series. There’s also the option of Dorma, his sister, who wound up working for the resistance, this could also be her, since the armor in this series doesn’t show male or female.

Another one is possible Prince Avok or Princess Romelle,

 who are also of the same species as Allura and can pull off the same trick. However we don’t have any indication that they’re around as of yet.

Which leaves the last character and also the one I think could be seen as the easiest to fill this role for a bit. Prince Lotor. While a villain in the original, we could be seeing a mixed version of him and Hazar in this series as a means of showing that there is good in the Galaran.

7.    Sendek’s return?

Given what happens with Shiro one would think that Sendek is done for. But the Galran’s have been known in the series to be a slippery sort of character. When Sendek is being tapped into and later sent into space in a pod, you would think that would be it. However given that they were able to track the team, there’s a high probability that we’re going to see him again. Sendek in the original series died at the hands of the Voltron team early on in the series, and while this Sendek was, pretty much killed by being frozen. We’ve seen how the pods work and that a person can and does survive being inside them, thanks in part to seeing Allura and Coran doing it.

The other factor is that Sendek represents a lot of the fears that Shiro is having, and unless they’re pulling a Grand Admiral Zaho here with his character, I can see them pulling him back as a means of playing up the issues that Shiro has. Either as a living being or as a ghost that Shiro can’t quiet shake yet. Sendek is known for being one of the stronger villains in the series, and it would be a shame to make him vanish just yet, even if it’s a case of shiro going mad.

There are more theories, but I’ll hold off on those for now until I can explain them better.

anonymous asked:

I love your tutorial on fusion creation! Would you be able to help me make a silhouette of my own gemsona?

I can’t make one for you for free, but I can walk you through how I do it! 

1. Typically, I like starting with a quick doodle in my sketchbook. (I’ll use Moldavite for this tutorial since I haven’t drawn her in a while).

2. Then, I pop it into Sai and do some quick lineart. (Note: The cleaner your lines are, the less work you’ll have to do later! But lineart is the bane of my existence so I don’t mind doing extra clean-up later).

3. I use the selection tool and select the area around the drawing, then- 

4. I invert the selection. (If you haven’t already, I recommend putting your sketch layer on ‘Multiply’, especially if you’re using a dark color for the silhouette like I am).

5. I use the ‘Paint Bucket’ to fill in the selection then-

6. I turn off the sketch layer. Like I said before, since my sketch wasn’t super clean, the edges of the silhouette aren’t that smooth.

7. I clean up the sketch / adjust whatever looks a little weird.

8. Then I just do pseudo-lineart by using the eraser to erase parts of the silhouette (I used the sketch layer as reference while doing it). You could also draw over it in white or whatever your background color is, but personally I think it’s easier to do it with an eraser.

That’s pretty much it! I hope this helps anon!

Alright listen up because I had this thought and it won’t go away until I tell someone else and since im alone in my dorm y’all get to hear it

so lets talk about Hanzo, his chicken legs and lady ankles

So I remember how the Overwatch devs spoke about how Hanzo had “delicate ankles” after people mistakenly thought his boots/whatever were prosthetic replacements for his actual legs below the knee. I’m saying what if they kind of are, but it’s just not his whole lower leg?

I personally have weak ankles and a very high arch on my foot (its along the medial longitudinal arch which is the one on the inside of your foot, going from your big toe down) so I have a really tiny area on the outside of my foot trying to support all my weight, on top of crappy ankles that all in all want to make my feet turn inwards when they should be resting on the outside part.

this, essentially, is what the foot usually looks like when you show the sole. So you need a orthotic meant to support the inner part of the foot.

So how does this relate to Hanzo? I’m suggesting that Hanzo has a high arch on his foot, possibly also weak ankles, and has some kind of high tech future super support orthotics.

What’s important to remember is how often, fast and quietly Hanzo runs. My turned in and weak ankles often roll and twist when I try to run even a bit. Having the support on the bottom of my feet helps, but I would need a lot of ankle support too to be able to run normally.

Looking at his shoes/boots you can see that they offer support mostly on the toes, heel–and most importantly, arch and ankle. Plus there’s all that extra stuff in between the metal on his knees and feet, which could also be supportive in some high tech way. 

In total, these new age orthotics could be helping correct his posture, the way his feet and ankles sit and enhancing his ability to run all at the same time. 

Plus its fun to imagine tiny Hanzo picking up archery because it involves less running and he works on the movement part later when he gets help for his fucked up feet.

So I encourage you all to please support Hanzo Shimada and his delicate ankles.

klaine advent drabble challenge day 11: kink

word count: 872

warnings: d/s klaine, some worries about kink

Blaine really doesn’t know what to expect from his first relationship with an actual real dom.

He’s been dabbling in the D/s scene for years, but had yet to find someone who was happy with his very specific kind of relationship parameters. He didn’t want to be a full time sub, didn’t want to spend his whole time at home naked bar a collar and sleep in a cage like one guy had proposed, nor did he only want to be dominated during extremely rough sex, like another. 

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Madoka 2 - Top Skirt

So, the top skirt for Madoka is a simple circle skirt. I stated with measuring up. I later realized that it was too short and remade it, just 10 cm longer.

My math, can be better so I had to do a handy picture. (With the help of a calculator and a circle converter)

I used a measuring tape for drawing about the marks, is really easy with two persons, unfortunately I was alone.

The waist of the skirt I just sewed to a elastic waistband and the bottom I gathered.

I used the string theory, zick zacking over the string and pulling it. 

Poff! This fabrics looks so neat.

For the ruffle I took about 2,5 times more then the circumstance of the gathered bottom and sewed in a string. 

To easiest make it even  I pinned it onto the skirt evenly and pulled the stings then.  (Blurry cause I did not notice when I took it)

Taa daa!

I later when trying it on realised it was a bit too long here I rolled the waist a little and will fix it later. I also took the petal skirt of the top, since my first skirt was a less poffy now the petal skirt was too narrow, but it will work if I take of a couple of cm. 

So this is how it looks right now, even wearing the right (too big) shoes. 

It looks a bit odd because of the waist of my dress but don’t mind that. 

That’s it for now! 

– Marlin

shaz-enrico  asked:

I love your work! I was wondering if you had any advice or suggestions on how to become a faster animator. I noticed that you completed those animal animations in the time spand of a lecture and would love to hear your thoughts on efficiency. Thanks!

Thanks for the compliment. Those animal tests are a little deceptive. I do the first scribble pass in front of the class in the first 3 hour stint. But that’s from a totally cold start. I don’t even know what I’m going to do until the class begins, I just show up with a character design and have the class give suggestions on what I should animate. That way they get to see me figure it out for real. So that first pass is really rough, just circles and dots and stuff. Then I go away and tie down a few of the poses before the second class, and at the second session I take them through the refining and tying down process. But three hours is not long enough to totally finish it, so I take it home and finish it off later. From start to finish those things are about two or three days work, about 16 to 24 hours with my butt in the chair. A good speed for me is to do a second or two a day.

That being said, to go fast, the trick is to think ahead. I try hard to picture what I’m trying to do in my head so that I’m not just animating by trial and error. Of course, I find things out and explore options while I’m working, but the more I can be mindful of the next steps in the process the less work will be wasted. So once I have the creative idea, like “I want the dog to gallop in from the right and come to a stop in a curious pose”, I go very quickly to the practical steps of making that happen. I draw that end pose first to get the attitude and staging right, then I work out how many steps the dog will have to take to get there. If he’s galloping at the start, I work out how many gallop steps he does before transitioning to a trot and a walk. Then I begin putting in those phases, concentrating on when and where the hips and shoulders do their ups and downs, and which foot it would be best to lead with, while at the same time letting myself be connected to the acting and the attitude. Is the gallop jaunty or scared? Asking myself all these questions helps me to structure the scene and proceed with animating in a way that is at once methodical and also spontaneous. And hopefully without too much wasted effort.

I am just so saddened over Darwin Cooke’s passing away.  I actually don’t know much at all about how he was personally (other than everyone liked him and that he was kind and had a great sense of humor).  Rather it was his work that I’ve come to know so extremely well over the last couple decades.  

I hadn’t realized it until I thought the matter over, but I think I may own a copy of just about every major work he’s produced since his big stage debut with ‘Batman: Ego.’  Ego remains one of my favorite Batman tales.  I loved that it delved so wildly into the psychology of trauma and sublimation, utilizing Batman and the comic book medium to make palatable such a difficult and disquieting subject matter.  And the art… the art is what hooked me for life.  

I love everything there is about Cooke’s illustration style… it’s a seamless marriage between succinct and confident minimalistic lines coupled rich detail and the illusion of dynamic action.  It sounds paradoxical as I try to describe it, yet somehow it works perfectly on the page.  It’s as if someone took all of the best artistic qualities of Alex Toth, Bruce Timm, and Will Eisner and squished it all together to create what is (for me) the ideal comic book artist.  

The relaunch of the Catwoman ongoing and the graphic novel ‘Selina’s Big Score’ with co-writer, Ed Brubaker, remains my favorite Catwoman story and brought forward Catwoman’s long overdo transition to being a true A-list hero in the DC pantheon of characters.  The work on X-Force was fantastic, periodic tales in Spider-Man’s Tangled Web were wonderful, Wolverine and Doop was a classic.  

Then came ‘DC: The New Frontier.’  I don’t even know where to start.  Most of my comic-loving friends will site ‘Watchmen’ or ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ or even Neil Gaiman’s ‘Sandman’ as the ultimate DC comic story.  For me it’s The New Frontier.  It embodies everything that I love about comic books and the superhero medium.  I can recall the first Christmas/Hanukah following the release of the trade paperback.  I think I might have gifted copies to at least ten different people that year.

Cooke’s next big project was to return Will Eisner’s The Spirit to the 21st century.  I hadn’t been especially familiar with The Spirit.  I knew that Eisner was a seminal influence on many of my favorite artists, but had never gotten around to checking out The Spirit.  Well, I definitely caught the bug wen Cooke presented the one-shot crossover between Batman and The Spirit and gleefully bought every issue of The Spirit ongoing that Cooke wrote and illustrated.  It’s telling that my interest in The Spirit pretty much evaporated the moment Cooke left the book.

At first I was quite bummed out when Cooke departed from the super hero genre to focus on a series of comic novels retelling the noir detective stories of Richard Stark’s ‘Parker.’  These feelings of disappointment faded about two pages into the ‘The Hunter.’  Pulp detective fiction had never been my thing, but once again Cooke’s love and enthusiasm for it all was just infectious and I eagerly awaited each new installment… ‘The Outfit,’ ‘The Score,’ ‘Slayground'…  I even shelled out more money than I should have for an overpriced copy of ‘The Man With the Getaway Face.’  They were all wonderful and maintain a place alf reverence on my shelf of graphic novels.  

Cooke’s output seemed to slow over the next few years.  There was a couple issues of ‘Before Watchmen’ that I begrudgingly bought and the wonderful series of alternate covers for DC Comics whole line.  I figured that Cooke was working on his next big project and was excited to learn what it was.  

And then yesterday I discovered Cooke had been battling an undisclosed and highly aggressive form of cancer.  A day later, I learned that he had passed away.  It was so sudden and shocking.  I’m still bending my head around it.  A part of my mind is still excited for that next big project.  But it will never come.  The comic industry has lost one of its all-time greats and the world is a little smaller and less bright because of it.  

I’m so sad for Mr. Cooke’s family, friends, and loved ones.  They have my deepest sympathies and condolences and of course will respect their wishes for privacy during this time of mourning.    But I’m also sad for myself.  Sad that I won’t get to read any new Darwyn Cooke comics.  Sad that I’ll never get to see him illustrate my favorite characters, The Inhumans (although I do still have that issue of Spider-Man’s Tangled Web guest-staring Medusa and Crystal).  And sad that there will be no further Parker graphic novels, that ‘Butcher’s Moon’ and ‘The Plunder Squad’ will not be adapted in Cooke’s unique and distinctive style.   It’s such a loss.

I feel sort of guilty dwelling on how this effects me, but perhaps Mr. Cooke would have appreciated that.  One of the greatest thing we can each hope to achieve in life is to be a positive influence on the lives of others.  Mr. Cooke was definitely a positive influence on me, his works gave me terrific joy and I bet the same is true for thousands of other comic book fans out there.  It’s a testament to him.  I thank him and will miss him dearly.  

(Not) Alone - Part 2

Title: (Not) Alone
Words: 2110
Summary: Sherlock never minded being alone. He never had any friends and he was fine with that. Well, almost. Once doesn’t count. But then he met John Watson and he suddenly had a friend. Until he lost him.
Warnings: angst, drug abuse, drug overdose, suicidal attempt (mentioned), feels
Contains spoilers for “The Abominable Bride”!

Johnlock || fluff || angst || hurt/comfort || tarmac scene || drug den scene || spoilers for TAB || happy end || maybe OOC?

*Click for Part 1*

Originally posted by wantanarmydoctor

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Happy One Year Anniversary, Always Keep Fighting!

I don’t generally talk about personal things on this blog. Because of the job I have, I need to remain anonymous when posting my usual type of content.

However, I am breaking that rule and telling you a little about myself today, on the one year anniversary of the Always Keep Fighting campaign.

One year ago, I was not in a good place emotionally. I had been involved in a romantic situation that was doomed from the start, it blew up in my face, and people were hurt. It left me feeling lost. This doomed relationship had been incredibly important to me, because it had allowed me to discover and explore parts of myself I had always kept hidden, and in some ways, it fixed some old wounds. When it ended, not only was I mourning the loss of the things I had found, I was also trying to come to terms with the fact that I had compromised myself to find them.

Cut to me- lying in bed all day, hurting and confused, unable to focus on anything else, unable to get my old life back (and unsure that I wanted it back at all).

My best friend and I had watched a few episodes of Supernatural together, because she had seen several reruns and thought it looked fun. I needed something to get me through the moments when I couldn’t stand my own thoughts, so I started binge watching the show.

A few weeks and a few seasons later, I was feeling better. The show took my mind off of everything, I started sleeping less and getting out of bed more, work slowly became normal and fun again.

Then Jared began his Always Keep Fighting campaign, and I fell in love with the people behind the characters, and the work they do. Although I don’t feel that I have struggled with true depression or anxiety, I do feel that this campaign supported me through a rough time, and I will be forever grateful.

After that, I started this blog and found a family.

But it didn’t stop there.

By the time I finished watching all ten seasons, I was a different person. It would be remiss to say that it is entirely because of the show. There were relationships with people and circumstances in my life that changed for the better, and that’s the real reason behind my current happiness. But I truly believe those things changed because Supernatural helped me figure out who I am. Through their characters, the struggles, the very real emotion, I learned things about myself. I gained courage. I got bold. And I changed the things in my life that needed to change. Through following the actors’ social media and professional lives, I became part of something bigger than myself. Part of a family that is more loyal and loving than any I’ve ever seen.

I let go of the mistakes of my past, forgave myself and moved on. I allowed myself to change for the first time that I can remember, to take that scary cliff jump and find out that I actually do know how to swim. I started going after the things that I want. And I like the person that I am now.

This is a journey I’m still on. I’m not finished yet, and that’s okay. Because I have SPN and the SPN family along with me for the ride.

I am not alone. And I will always keep fighting.

What’s your AKF story?

Supercat Headcanon

Carter isn’t the only one who asks Kara questions once he figures out she’s Supergirl.

Cat likes to call her into the office when she’s bored, or in the middle of the night when she’s had a few drinks and grows contemplative. And she’ll ask her about seemingly random things.


“Do you ever sweat?” Cat asks Kara on Monday when she’s bringing her boss her lunch and Kara gives her a confused look.

“Sometimes,” Kara tells her as she sets down the salad and burger. “Not very often.”

“When?” Cat inquires when Kara doesn’t offer any further explanation, and her assistant fiddles nervously with her glasses.

“Why-why do you ask?”

Cat gives the younger woman a pointed once over, finding a certain thrill in watching a superhero squirm under her gaze. “Close the door,” she eventually offers, noting with pleasure how Kara swallows tightly, body growing taught, as she does as instructed.

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In our very first mission, our very first session, our team of world-hopping idiots was sent to Ancient Rome to arrest Laurentinus McDickbaggus, a soldier possessing offworld tech. We pick a fight with some guards, our mage almost dies, and our target escapes. Thus begins our reign of idiocy.

Eight months later (real-time), we sit down to another mission, guarding a prisoner in a village until HQ can come pick us up. We’re not supposed to use our comms system to contact them in case the enemies discover our location. Halfway through the night, who should burst in the door but old Laurentinus, still carrying the lightsaber we failed to arrest him for. Welp.

I lose an arm, our Ranger loses his gun, and they start dropping bombs. We escape to a nearby alleyway, where it’s discovered that our archer has several large pieces of wood embedded in his back from the explosions. The mage decides to heal him without trying to remove the wood. His skin grows over the wood, and it is now traveling slowly through his body towards his spine.

There are six hours until HQ arrives.

We hide out in the alleyway with the prisoner, who is unharmed, and one of our allied NPCs, and try to locate our other ally. Laurentinus McDickbaggus lives up to his name and shows up with a bunch of guards, who relieve us of our weapons. Several of us begin to wonder if we should surrender and try to escape later, minimizing the damage. The Ranger has other ideas.

For reasons no one can quite remember, he has with him a bag full of dynamite and whiskey. He lights it on fire and chucks it at McDickbaggus. The alleyway explodes.

We all roll for strength and luck. We roll low. I attempt to teleport us away, but there’s no telling if we’ll die before it can happen. The DM announces that he is going to roll a d100, and tells us to choose odds or evens. This will determine if the entire party lives or dies. We choose odds. He rolls. Odds.

We teleport to the forest, but our joy is short-lived: we are all heavily wounded, the NPC ally is dead, and the Ranger has someone else’s bone impaled in his stomach. He yanks it out. Part of his intestine comes with. He just sort of….pats it back into place. The mage heals him as best he can. The archer is dying. I still have only one arm. The prisoner, meanwhile, is completely uninjured and rather bored.

The village is on fire and said fire is rapidly spreading, so I teleport us “as far away as possible.” We appear in the middle of a desert, which we deduce is on the exact opposite side of the planet.

We manage to summon some water and a canopy for shade. I pass out from exhaustion. The prisoner somehow acquires a halved coconut and a straw from a mirage. He sits on the ground and drinks his coconut milk. There are four hours until HQ will come looking. Our plan is to wait until the appointed hour, and then comm for help, thus giving the enemy as little time as possible to track our signal.

We sleep under the canopy until the four hours have passed. The prisoner is now wearing a floral shirt and sitting next to an empty pizza box. No one questions this anymore. We comm HQ, and our boss, Sean, answers: “Where the fuck are you?” It has never been so good to hear his grouchy tones. We rejoice.

Explanations are provided: “They started an artillery barrage and things went south, so we caused an explosion - ” “WE caused an explosion?” “All right, I caused an explosion, but we got away and now we’re all dying in the desert please help.”

Sean informs us that we are not, in fact, on the opposite side of the planet - we are seven worlds away.

“As far away as possible.”

it has been about seven hours for us in all of our world-jumping, but HQ has been searching for us for 17 hours. Also, turns out the prisoner was falsely identified and we’ve been dragging an innocent guy around this whole time. One of the NPC allies did die in the explosion but his partner, who we left for dead, managed to escape and gain some intel on the enemy. So at least there’s that.

Sean tells us to sit tight, and arrives a few minutes later with a team of paramedics. I wave my arm stump and ask if he would mind giving us a hand. He stares, dead inside. Less than a year he has worked with our team, and we have already driven him to this point. Nothing should surprise him anymore.

As we are loaded on to the stretchers, our archer on the brink of death, there is a flash of light and Laurentinus McDickbaggus, burned but still wielding his illegal lightsaber, appears in the desert. Sean unsheathes his own sword and yells for the paramedics to get us out. We teleport away as our boss hurls himself at Laurentinus.

We have driven Sean to complete exasperation. We have brought enemies back to HQ, we have disappeared for months at a time, we have killed and almost killed each other on several occasions, and we have needed him to help us out of more ridiculous messes than he had ever thought possible. We are the bane of his existence. But he is our boss, our faithful handler, and he will fight for us to his dying breath. We have yet to discover if he will be taking that breath on the sands of the Sahara desert at the mercy of a Roman soldier with a weapon from a galaxy far, far away, but we can only hope that he will live to once again berate us for our terrible decisions. We can only hope.