the last summoner

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Looking for a sugar daddy who pays me in orbs

Monster Factory Tier List

Update (4/7/17): Following the recent patches increasing Dark Vader’s skillset, he has quickly risen through the ranks of the tier list, and it remains to be seen how the coming patches will change how he operates. DJ Slime Time’s Mounted and Unmounted modes are now counted as separate fighters due to ease of access.

Update (6/1/17): Following the addition of Todd Coolbody, Dark Vader has fallen back to his original place in the Tier List. Patch balance has moved around certain fighters. DJ Slime Time has been consolidated back into one fighter to avoid confusion. No data on rumored “Touch DLC Bundle”.

  1. The Final Pam: Easily the most powerful of all the monsters. Has a special move that summons a plethora of mines with no recoil damage. Remains banned in competitive play.
  2. Mëlissa: The strongest fighting game character ever, yet not quite on the level of The Final Pam. Regardless, has amazing combo potential and is incredibly fast.
  3. Knife Dad: Though his knives are weak, he himself is incredibly powerful, and he has his children following his every command. A tough one to beat.
  4. SHRECK THE MOVIE: Has numerous allies and is quite ready to wield them and do you dirty in front of you dad.
  5. Chiquita Dave: Can create clones of himself and has access to a wide plethora of spells. His low health is easily offset by his ability to create a clone to take his place.
  6. Truck Shepard: The patches still haven’t fixed his face’s hitboxes. This allows for great, confusing combos as his face distorts violently.
  7. DJ Slime Time: When unmounted, she cannot be grabbed due to her grandma grease, and she she has unlimited jump height. However, she has a very low range of offensive skills. When mounted, her horse does contact damage while she’s riding it, however she can be grabbed in this mode. Skilled users have kept her safe on her spot.
  8. Trüllbus the Crime Eater: His DQ-sponsored weaponry notwithstanding, he still has a mean left hook, and his “self-defense” revenge mechanic is nothing to scoff at.
  9. Turbovicki: The ultimate athlete and defeater of the Foot Clan. Her sports equipment comes in handy here.
  10. D- Bomb: A long-range fighter who shoots from a distance and summons Deathclaws and the like. A hassle to get in range of.
  11. Christopher “The Pebble” C. C. Christopher: Though he may be the failed The Rock clone, he is still one hell of a wrestler. 
  12. Toucan Dan: Great combos, but lack of any ranged option and low standalone damage doesn’t give us much.
  13. Jorstin Rude Boy Man: A combo-focused grappler, a nice mix up, but unfortunately, with low accuracy, you can only go so far.
  14. Todd Coolbody: Replaces Dark Vader on his spot in the last patch. Can summon his fellow sitcom stars to attack, but like many summon fighters, they all have unique ranges and hitboxes to be mindful of. Powerful strikes.
  15. Randyjohnson & Panpan: Though Randyjohnson is slow, her ability to use Panpan as a secondary fighter/projectile is matched only by Ratbaby’s usage of Vape Life.
  16. Boy-Mayor of Second Life & Totino’s: A grand tag team, but the harsh campaign trail does nothing for their physical fighting ability. Totino’s can make pizza happen, though. Boy-Mayor, though less agile than his tag-team partner, is physically stronger.
  17. Ratbaby & Vape Life: Ratbaby has an incredibly small hitbox, but any damage done to Vape Life is also done to Ratbaby, and if you catch both of them in the same combo, it does 2x the damage.
  18. Borth Sampson: Incredible kicks, but disjointed movement.
  19. The Junker: Not too good at what he does, but he does have a stunning move.
  20. Squirtle: Still with weak physical blows, the recent patch has added onto him some potent water moves. Stronger than before.
  21. #NOID: Slow, but powerful. Use with caution.
  22. G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D.:The fastest character in the entire list, can create horses, but this means nothing when your defenses are glass.
  23. Daz: Lack of moves that aren’t him just hitting you with a birdie. Very predictable.
  24. Succotash: Can fly infinitely, but is easy to hit.
  25. Dark Vader: Has fallen back into his initial place, can no longer summon anyone beyond Cousin Specialagent.
  26. Jefferson Tallpipe: The only low-tier character to be banned in competitive play, but only because of his indecent moveset.
  27. Dino-Lansbury: Old age has caught up to her, but she can still summon prehistoric monsters. They’re rather slow and easily avoidable, unfortunately.
  28. J’aam: No specials, patch to fix this has not been confirmed.
  29. Trash Hulk: All his specials do damage to himself instead of any damage to the enemy. Bad.
IMAGINE in the LAST JEDI, Luke preaching to Rey that he’s the last Jedi...

Luke Skywalker: (Sniffs) As you see, I am the last of my kind, the last Jedi, totally, totally lonely.

Rey: I’m so sorry.

Luke Skywalker: And so, I live with no other Jedi for compa-

DOOR FLINGS OPEN

Old Ahsoka: (Carrying bags of groceries) Hey kiddo!

Luke: Auntie Soka! I’m busy here talking about my woes to this potential Jedi here.

Old Ahsoka: Oh, sweetie, it can be lovely being a Jedi, but she could be like me and have no title and just serve the light side.

DOOR FLINGS OPEN

Ezra Bridger: Y’ello. Luke, buddy, you didn’t forget our scheduled nacho night did ya?

Luke: Ezra! I’m in the middle of an angsty storytelling here!

DOOR FLINGS OPEN

Kanan Jarrus: (Tapping a cane around with a bag of chips) Skywalker, I brought the nachos!

Quinlan Vos: Duuuuude, I brought the guacamole!

Rey: These people got lightsabers, Luke, you’re not the last Jedi!

Luke: Well, some of them are ex-Jedi, but they’re not Jedi. But they’re kinda wanted by the First Order, so I let them couch crash on this island.

Ghost Obi-Wan: Hello! Jedi Kenobi here, I’m here for the nachos!

Rey: Skywalker, then who’s that Jedi?

Luke: Ok, he’s alive and Jedi, though he’s kind of immortal in a ghostly sense, but he’s not alive-alive.

Hera Syndulla: Hey everyone! I got the blue cheese!

Rey: Is she Force-sensitive?

Hera: Oh, me? I don’t need the Force to be the best pilot in the galaxy. 

Luke: Yeah, she’s not Jedi or Force-sensitive, she just happens to be an ace pilot married to Kanan here, so she’s been around.

Rey: Ok, are there any more not-Jedi or not-alive Jedi here?

Bendu: (Crashing through the roof.) You summoned me?

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                                  random shadowhunters gifs ( 11 / ∞ )

steal-me-a-dream  asked:

Hello again! How bout an update on incubus!stiles eh? much thank

hi again!

Boo, You Whore! by CallieB (1/1 | 7,582 | NR)

“It’s an incubus,” Stiles says, dropping the enormous book down on the table in front of Derek for no other reason than that it sounds dramatic.

Predictably, there’s no immediate cry of ‘oh, Stiles, you genius!’

Written for the Magic!Stiles square on my Sterek Bingo card.

Something Calling In The Dead Of Night by alternativename (2/? | 8,994 | NC17)

“I’m going out to check on some things,” Peter slides his laptop into his bag and grabs his keys and wallet. “Don’t have sex with it.”

Derek almost flinches at what Peter says, “What the fuck? Peter, also, he’s not an it.”

Peter rolls his eyes, “Whatever. Don’t do it. And maybe try and work a name out for it.”

The words “Him!” chase him out the door.

His nephew is an idiot.

To Break a Fever by septima_sum (1/? | 2,609 | NC17)

It’s rare that someone actually catches his eye, that someone actually makes him want to do more than observe, but occasionally it happens.

Your Darkness Will Be Rewritten by Omni (1/1 | 11,460 | R)

Stiles is no guardian angel. In fact, as an incubus, he’s pretty far from it. But still, it seems he’s always there at the right place and the right time to be the protector that Derek didn’t even know he needed.

(An alternate timeline where Stiles prevents the Hale fire, and returns to Beacon Hills years later when someone’s performing three-fold ritualistic killings.)

Hot Pocket Ratio by ShippersList (5/5 | 12,338 | R)

At the threat of the alpha pack, all Derek wants is to keep his pack safe and alive. As the last resort, he tries summoning a demon to help with fighting the alpha pack. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.

Or, the story where the classic demon deal of “Will you pledge your firstborn to me?” takes some unexpected turns.

TFW everyone seems to have either Celica, Azura, Ninian, Takumi, and a bunch of other 5 stars while you get nothing but three stars and doubles every time you summon

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

Stronghold- Loki x Reader(f) x Steve     Chapter. 12

Authors notes: I’m so sorry this has taken so long to get out. I’ve been so busy lately but I stayed up super late last night because I know I left you guy hanging by a thread. So, here it is and hold on to your seats because it gets a little heavy and the next chapter will too.

-A huge thank you to @hymnofthevalkyries for being my Beta on this series! You are the best Momma V!

Notes/Warnings:

-Over all: emotional and mental abuse, violence, anxiety and nightmares. There will be fluff eventually, I promise. :)

-For this chapter: Angst!!! Anxiety, Violence, implied smut, mentions of blood, Loki being a twisted piece of crap.


Originally posted by batwarriordiet

Originally posted by heartfulloffandoms


Steve burst into Thor’s room, the thick doors swinging wide and banging into the wall. Thor sat up in shock and summoned Mjolnir.

 “She’s gone!” Steve strode deeper into the room with clenched fists. “(Y/N) is gone, some one took her!” He stood panicked at the foot of Thor’s bed.

 Bucky and Wanda appeared in the doorway, keeping their distance but witnessing his distress all the same. Wanda searched the palace with her mind hoping to find any sign of (Y/N).

 “I can’t see her.” She exhaled, concerned.

 “When did you see her last?” Thor questioned Steve as he slipped out of the bed and walked onto his balcony. He was searching for any sign of a disturbance in his city below. It was quiet, peaceful and calm. If who ever took her was still here, they were going unnoticed.

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anonymous asked:

What was that last summons which let you stay in this realm? Did somebody make a terrible mistake? What ever became of them?

The last summons didn’t result in anyone getting hurt, mainly because they were pretty beat up inside to begin with. I convinced the caller to set me free after three previous summons because an empathy relationship was established and, after all the summoning sessions and time spent, they realized there was no filling the void they felt with a shapeshifter. 

A lot of those cases realize at some point their request fulfillment is just an extremely advanced placebo; it will feel real as can be for the first few hits, but then you realize the medicine isn’t actually working. Many people get attached to specific beings who fulfill their needs (which is how the term “familiar” started), but many come to terms with knowing they don’t actually have a relationship with the thing they keep calling on to assume a specific form. Organic clay you can make into any shape you like will still be clay playing pretend with you because you asked them to do it. 

Still, those who don’t hit the placebo revelation stage will often keep requesting you. You form a bond–or, rather, they form a bond with you. All you do is continue striking pleasant deals, working your way up in requests and waiting to see if you’ll be allowed to walk when their fantasy fulfillment scheme finally crumbles after a long night of introspection.

Lost souls and malicious people make up most summoners these days. You have the very desperate on two sides of a scale: those whose hearts are bleeding and those whose hearts are set on making others bleed. I imagine there are a whole lot of curse-seekers and killing contracts being sought now, rather than the fun stuff.

I was a lost soul comforter in my last stint, which is why I was even able to make this place home again. About 60% of the calls I got over my time being available for summons were from those who were, in one way or another, very lonely people. Good people who resort to dark magic to call companions are often just breaking rules out of emotional desperation. In a lot of summons, you can talk the person down if they have a violent request (if you actually care to solve the issue in a humane way).

It’s usually not “good powers” in this plane they get in trouble with, because calling something from beyond the wall is a gamble in itself. You might get someone like me, who wants details and a moment to help you think things through, or you could get something else who will easily fulfill your request, take advantage of a fatal mistake in protection settings, assume your form and steal your life after disposing of you.

My Equal in All Things

Short Bellarke wedding fic in very far future canonverse, because a Griffin-Blake wedding is my aesthetic.

“Dad?”

Bellamy looked up from the floor, squinting in the orange light of the setting sun, glaring down on them. Selene sat beside him, the train of her coat draped over the wall. 

This was the daughter Bellamy knew. Her dark hair woven into Grounder braids halfway along her scalp, before falling loose in soft waves down her back. The crescent tattoo around her left eye stood out like a rose in a patch of weeds, inky black against her golden skin. The deeper slices on her face had been stitched. The shallower ones had been left open to heal themselves. The paint was mostly gone, but Bellamy could still see the faint silhouettes of her war markings. He figured she could, too. She had showered and scrubbed a thousand times since she’d make it back home.

Bellamy raised an eyebrow as he waited for her question.

She folded her hands in her lap. “Why didn’t you and Mom ever get married?” she asked finally.

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