the last pun

She’s the betta half of the two

Pun #4

Joker: Leave aside everything you’re doing! I have a question more important than anything else in this whole entire world!

Harley: What is it Mr. J?

Joker: What was Bruce called when he was a little boy?

Harley: Um…..I don’t know. You tell me.

Joker:

Joker:

Joker:

Harley: Wait is this a pu-

Joker: LIL WAYNE

Harley: God hecking dammit Mr. J

i confess
i feel
broken 
today
because love is in the air
and i am holding my breath
the world is painted
red
with lipstick kiss stains 
and
pink
with cheap wine
everything becomes heart shaped
even the heads atop of the bodies roaming
this romanticized vie en rose
except
for me
because my colors don’t match up with the ones around me
i feel
so
isolated
and i am 
chastised
because i don’t define
“making love”
as having sex
but instead making someone feel my love for them
i can love
i am capable of loving
even Plato
the man who defined the word “érōs”
does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love
i can love
as Aristotle
who coined the term “philía”
loved his brothers
it isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp
but because i am not grasping someone else
you think there is something wrong with me
but i am fine
i am fine
i am fine
today
is just another day
i don’t need anyone’s approval
or validation
because who i am
and the way i love
is 
fine

i confess
i felt broken
i felt isolated
then i felt angry
now
i’m feeling pretty ace.

— 

for the aromantics and asexuals on valentine’s day ♡
(cc, 2017)

YOU GUYS CAN CHECK OUT THIS POEM AND SO MANY MORE IN MY LGBT+ POETRY ANTHOLOGY - HAVE SOME PRIDE - COMING SOON!

COVER || PART I >>

STORY SUMMARY/AUTHOR’S NOTES:

FOREVER BElonging WITH YOU is a direct sequel to the new official novel WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU. Picking up right where it left off as Ichigo, Orihime, Chad, and Ishida are leaving Renji and Rukia’s wedding reception this work covers the night of the wedding up to the day Ichika is born as the newlyweds learn to navigate their new life together while preparing for the impending arrival of their first child. RenRuki is front and center for the majority of the story but just like WDkALY it ends with a heavy focus on IchiHime.

The exact date of the wedding ceremony is unknown so for the sake of story specificity I have set it on December 27th…the day the novel was released in stores. Ichika’s birthday is also unknown as of yet and again I have taken liberties with this.

Because WDkALY has not been fully translated into English yet there may be some discrepancies that come to light later on. However I have done my absolute best to ensure everything is as accurate as possible based on what we have so far.

This may be the longest piece of writing I’ve done to date, and all while I was not in the best of health. I’m very proud of this accomplishment.

Along with this silly mock cover you’re in for 8 decently sized chapters (or “Parts” as they’re called within the text) and 18 illustrations. The writing part is complete and I will try to post a chapter every few days or so as I finish up the illustrations.

Woohoo!

Originally posted by yourebeautifullylovely

(Fair warning: This one is definitely nsfw and for mature readers only.)

anonymous asked:

Would you guys be wiling to do one that doesn't have Steve in it but is all about Steve? I'm thinking of Fury's initial meeting w/ Sharon asking her to protect Steve. Then, subsequent meetings where she reports relevant happenings. But since there are no relevant happenings (until TWS), Sharon's reports consist mainly of Steve's general comings and goings, his lame attempts to hit on her, and the embarrassing stuff he does when he's alone.

“Did you think I didn’t know?”  Fury raised an eyebrow.

“I think my recruiter didn’t look into it.  I expected you would know, sir.”  Sharon stood at parade rest, only allowing the slightest twich of her lips towards a smile.  

Fury hummed.  “It’s why you’re here.  And not why you’re here.”

“Sir?”  She liked Suduko, crosswords and thousand-piece puzzles.  Fury was more like one of the Fates speaking in riddles than anything else.  

“I chose you for this assignment because Former Director Carter wouldn’t trust anyone else with this detail.  I also chose you for this assignment because regardless of whose blood you’ve got, you’re the only one I trust with this assignment.”

Sharon let out a slow, steady breath, feeling the tension bleed out of her shoulders.  “Thank you, sir.”

***

Fury was mulling over a stack of paperwork, steam curling from his World’s Best Boss mug that sat at his left elbow. (She was pretty sure it was a gift from Natasha).  

“Your monthly report, sir.”

Fury looked up, and sat back.  “Go on.”

“Exercise commences at 0400 hours each day, and ends at 0600. Grocery shopping every other day, a—“

“—Single or multiple trips?”

“Supersoldiers only need single trips, sir.”

Fury smirked and sipped his coffee.

“Between 1400 and 1600 hours each Sunday he cleans and sings.  He orders take out once each week, only on Saturdays for his weekly movie marathon.  He’s reached the 80s, if I’m not mistaken.  There were a lot of lightsaber noises and don’t-you-forget-about-me’s coming from his apartment last week.  And the joke about his midday coffee run being ‘A mission from God’.”

“Anything unusual or concerning to report?”

“The number of times he’s watched Indiana Jones is concerning.”

“Oh?”

“He was reckless in the field before, sir.  I worry what new ideas he’s been picking up.”

Fury smiled, all teeth.  “This is exactly why I chose you for this assignment, agent.”

7

The Yeti joke. How I Met Your Mother Files. Screencaps from The X-Files Season 1, Episode 20, “Darkness Falls.” Lines from HIMYM Season 9, Episode 24, “Last Forever, Part 2.”

Naming puns
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