the last one is crap

  • McGonagall: So. Who broke the tea pot? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Hagrid: I did. I broke it.
  • McGonagall: No. No you didn't. Albus?
  • Dumbledore: Don't look at me. Look at Severus.
  • Snape: What?! I didn't break it.
  • Dumbledore: Oh that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Severus: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
  • Dumbledore: Suspicious.
  • Snape: No it's not!
  • Sprout: If it matters, probably not, but Horace was the last one to use it.
  • Slughorn: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Sprout: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the tea cart earlier?
  • Slughorn: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Pomona!
  • Hagrid: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Minerva.
  • McGonagall: No! Who broke it?!
  • Snape: Minerva...Filius has been awfully quiet.
  • Flitwick: REALLY?!
  • [Everyone starts arguing]
  • McGonagall: [later] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little too chummy around here.

The Losers Club as Text Posts

[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker]


Stan: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.


Bill: …I did. I broke it.


Stan: No. No you didn’t. Richie?


Richie: Don’t look at me. Look at Ben.


Ben: What?! I didn’t break it.


Richie: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?


Ben: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.


Richie: Suspicious.


Ben: No it’s not!


Mike: If it matters, probably not, but Eddie was the last one to use it.


Eddie: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!


Mike: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?


Eddie: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Mike!


Bill: Okay let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Stan.


Stan: No! Who broke it!?


Ben: Stan…Beverly’s been awfully quiet.


Beverly: REALLY?![Everyone starts arguing]


Stan: [being interviewed] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[the bat family is standing around the broken coffee maker]

Bruce Wayne: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Dick Grayson: … I did. I broke it.

Bruce Wayne: No. No you didn’t. Jason?

Jason Todd: Don’t look at me. Look at Tim.

Tim Drake: What?! I didn’t break it.

Jason Todd: Oh that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Tim Drake: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

Jason Todd: Suspicious.

Tim Drake: No it’s not!

Jason Todd: If it matters, probably not, but Barbara was the last one to use it.

Barbara Gordon: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Jason Todd: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Barbara Gordon: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Jason!

Dick Grayson: Okay let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me fix it Bruce.

Bruce Wayne: No! Who broke it!?

Tim Drake: Bruce… Damian’s been awfully quiet.

Damian Wayne: REALLY?!

[everyone starts arguing]

Bruce Wayne: [to Alfred] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

  • Mark: *Holding a broken coffee machine* Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
  • Yugyeom: I did. I broke it.
  • Mark: No. No, you didn’t. Bambam?
  • Bambam: Don’t look at me, look at Jackson.
  • Jackson: What?! I didn’t break it!
  • Bambam: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
  • Jackson: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Bambam: Suspicious.
  • Jackson: No, it’s not!
  • Youngjae: If it matters, probably not, but… Jinyoung was the last one to use it.
  • Jinyoung: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Youngjae: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Jinyoung: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Youngjae!
  • Bambam: Let’s not fight, I broke it. Let me pay for it.
  • Mark: No. Who broke it?
  • Youngjae: Mark, Jaebum’s been awfully quiet…
  • Jaebum: Really?!
  • Youngjae: Yeah, really!
  • Everyone: *yelling ensues*
  • *Later*
  • Mark *To a hidden camera*: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little too friendly around here.
  • *everyone is standing around a broken coffee machine*
  • Jughead: So... who broke it? I'm not mad. I just wanna know.
  • *pause*
  • Betty: I did. I broke it.
  • Jughead: No. No, you didn't. Cheryl?
  • Cheryl: Don't look at me! Look at Kevin.
  • Kevin: What?! I didn't break it!
  • Cheryl: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Kevin: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Cheryl: Suspicious.
  • Kevin: No, it's not!
  • Archie: If it matters, probably not... Veronica was the last one to use it.
  • Veronica: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Archie: Oh, really? Then what were you doing over by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Veronica: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Archie!
  • Betty: Alright, let's not fight! I broke it, let me pay for it, Juggie.
  • Jughead: No. Who broke it?
  • Kevin: Jughead, Josie's been awfully quiet...
  • Josie: REALLY?!
  • Kevin: Yeah, really!
  • Jughead, to the camera while everyone argues in the background: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
  • [The coffee pot is found broken at 221b]
  • Eurus : So, who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Molly : I did, I broke it -
  • Eurus : No. No, you didn't. Sherlock?
  • Sherlock : Don't look at me. Look at Mycroft.
  • Mycroft : What? I didn't break it.
  • Sherlock : Hmm. That's weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Mycroft : Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
  • Sherlock : Suspicious.
  • Mycroft : No, it's not!
  • Mary : If it matters... probably not... but Irene was the last one to use it.
  • Irene : Liar! I don't even drink that crap.
  • Mary : Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee table earlier?
  • Irene : I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Mary!
  • Molly : Alright, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Eurus.
  • Eurus : No. Who broke it?
  • Greg : Well, John's been awfully quiet.
  • John : Really?
  • Greg : Yeah, really!
  • [Cut to Eurus in the room, the rest of them fighting in the background]
  • Eurus : I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
  • [standing around the broken coffee machine]
  • Aizawa: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Midoriya: I did. I broke it.
  • Aizawa: No. No you didn’t. Kirishima?
  • Kirishima: Don’t look at me. Look at Kaminari.
  • Kaminari: What?! I didn’t break it.
  • Kirishima: Oh that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
  • Kaminari: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.
  • Kirishima: Suspicious.
  • Kaminari: No it’s not!
  • Sero: If it matters, probably not, but Jirou was the last one to use it.
  • Jirou: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Sero: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Jirou: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Sero!
  • Midoriya: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.
  • Aizawa: No! Who broke it!?
  • Kaminari: … Uraraka has been awfully quiet.
  • Uraraka: REALLY?! Oh my god!
  • [everyone starts arguing]
  • [later]
  • Aizawa: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Remember when E’dawn gave Hui a ring that said “I love dawn” on it

I mean they’re literally a married couple so uh

  • Robb: Who broke it?
  • Everyone: ...
  • Robb: I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Jon: ...I did it, I broke-
  • Robb: No, no you didn't. Arya?
  • Arya: Don't look at me, look at Bran!
  • Bran: What? I didn't break it.
  • Arya: Huh, that's weird, how did you know it was broken?
  • Bran: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken!
  • Arya: Suspicious.
  • Bran: No it isn't!
  • Rickon: If it matters, probably not, Sansa was the last one to use it...
  • Sansa: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Rickon: Oh? Then what were you doing by the coffee counter earlier?
  • Sansa: I use the little wooden stirs to push back my cuticules! Everyone knows that, Rickon!
  • Jon: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it.
  • Robb: No! Who broke it?
  • Bran: ...Y'know, Theon has been awfully quiet.
  • Theon: Really?!
  • Bran: Yeah, really!
  • Everyone: *Intense arguing*
  • Robb, watching from the back: I broke it. It burnt my hand, so I punched it.
  • BEN: So, who broke it? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
  • [Silence]
  • Hoody: I did, I broke it-
  • BEN: No. No, you didn’t. Toby?
  • Toby: Don’t look at me. Look at Masky.
  • Masky: What? I didn’t break it.
  • Toby: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Masky: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.
  • Toby: Suspicious.
  • Masky: No, it’s not.
  • Jane: If it matters... probably not... Jeff was the last one to use it.
  • Jeff: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap.
  • Jane: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Jeff: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Jane!
  • Hoody: Alright, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, BEN.
  • BEN: No. Who broke it?
  • Jason: BEN, EJ has been awfully quiet...
  • EJ: Really?!
  • Jason: Yeah, really!
  • [Cut to BEN in another room, the rest of them fighting in the background]
  • BEN: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
  • Quartermaster: Who broke it?
  • Everyone:
  • Quartermaster: I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • David: I broke it. I-
  • Quartermaster: No, no you didn't. Max?
  • Max: Don't look at me. Look at Neil.
  • Neil: What? I didn't break it.
  • Max: That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Neil: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
  • Max: Suspicious.
  • Neil: No, it's not!
  • Space Kid: If it matters.. probably not, but Gwen was the last one to use it.
  • Gwen: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Space Kid: Oh, really, what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Gwen: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Space Kid!
  • David: Let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it, Quartermaster.
  • Quartermaster: No! Who broke it?!
  • Everyone:
  • Neil: Quartermaster...
  • Neil: Nikki has been awfully quiet.
  • Nikki: Really?!
  • Neil: Yes, really!
  • Nikki: OH, MY GOD!
  • Quartermaster, outside the mess hall: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Zeus : So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just wanna know.
Hestia : I did. I broke it…
Zeus : No. No, you didn’t. Apollo?
Apollo : Don’t look at me. Look at Ares.
Ares : What? I didn’t break it.
Apollo : Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
Ares: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Apollo : Suspicious.
Ares : No, it’s not!
Hermes : If it matters, probably not…Athena was the last one to use it.
Athena : Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Hermes : Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Athena : I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Hermes!
Hestia : Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Zeus.
Zeus : No. Who broke it?
Apollo : [whispering] Zeus, Artemis has been awfully quiet…
Artemis : Really?!
Apollo : Yeah, really!

Zeus : I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

  • Kyungsoo: *pointing at a broken coffee machine* So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
  • Jongin: I did. I broke it...
  • Kyungsoo: No. No, you didn’t. Chanyeol?
  • Chanyeol: Don’t look at me. Look at Jongdae.
  • Jongdae: What?! I didn’t break it.
  • Chanyeol: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Jongdae: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Chanyeol: Suspicious.
  • Jongdae: No, it’s not!
  • Sehun: If it matters, probably not...Baekhyun was the last one to use it.
  • Baekhyun: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Sehun: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Baekhyun: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Sehun!
  • Jongin: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Kyungsoo.
  • Kyungsoo: No. Who broke it?
  • Yixing: [whispering] Kyungsoo, Minseok has been awfully quiet…
  • Minseok: Really?!
  • Yixing: Yeah, really!
  • [To camera as the others continue to argue]
  • Kyungsoo: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.