• <p> <b>My Brain:</b> How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a- HEYYYYY HEYYY shiksa goddess I've been waiting for someone like you I dreamed a dream of endless summerrrrrPOPular you're gonna be popUUlar IM A DEAD GIRL WALKING springggg and summmmerrrr EVERY OTHER DAYYYYY 525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear NINETY-SIX THOUSAND the green green dress, twenty buttons and a strap who lives, who dies who tells your stooooorrrryyyy...<p/><b>Me:</b> Hold on, those weren't the right lyrics.<p/></p>
Renamed Musicals
  • • Les Miserables: Breadsticks Meme Gone Wrong ft. The Only Cop in France.
  • • Miss Saigon: Americans Fuck Shit Up, the musical!
  • • Legally Blonde: This is Harvard, not a Stripper Bar.
  • • Wicked: Misunderstood Green Girl and Sparkly Witch Hide Lesbian Feelings
  • • Little Women: That Story Where All the Girls Fall in Love
  • • Book of Mormon: Spooky Mormon Hell and Crude Gay Humor Clash w/ Sparkly Tuxedoes.
  • • Shrek: Don’t Judge a Book By It’s Cover; Another Show About Diversity.
  • • The Last Five Years: How Not to Adult: A Manual
  • • Joseph and the blah, blah, blah: Fifty Shades of Bible Humor
  • • Suessical: Always Trust that Weird Voice you Hear PS Elephants Can’t Fly
  • • Songs for a New World: I’m Sure There’s a Story Here Somewhere…
  • • Thirteen: Puberty Sucks Plus Jewish Jokes and Weird Sexual Tension
  • • Matilda: We’ll Fight Like Twenty Armies and We Won’t Give up ft. Miss Honey’s Self Esteem Issues.
  • • Spring Awakening: Why Sex Ed Matters, the musical!
  • • Next to Normal: The Story of a Sexy Ghost
  • • Avenue Q: Horney Puppets Use the Internet for Porn and Then Build a School For Monsters.
  • • Children of Eden: Bible fanfiction.
  • • The Drowsy Chaperone: Hallucinations of a Man in a Chair
  • • Violet: Sutton Foster and a Sob Story ft. Indecipherable Accents
  • • Anything Goes: Into the Woods, Except on a Ship
  • • How to Succeed: A Dummies Guide to Making an Ass Out of
  • Yourself
  • • Once on this Island: Why Gods Should Not Interfere With Humans
  • • Into the Woods: Fairytale AU on Crack
  • • Fun Home; Gay Tears, the musical!
  • • In the Heights: Everybody has Issues in the Barrio.
  • • Chess: East West Relations Under Different Masks and Various Plots
  • • RENT: Diversity, Death, and Drugs.
  • • Annie: My Life Sucks: By Me.
  • • Sweeny Todd: Revenge Means Killing Everybody
  • • Young Frankenstein: It Runs in the Family.

we will never be satisfied - bad-ass broadway feminists who have empowered women and changed the face of musical theatre

the schuyler sisters - hamilton // i can do better than that - the last five years // it won’t be long now - in the heights // right hand man - something rotten! // watch what happens - newsies // all to pieces - violet // ring of keys - fun home // on the steps of the palace - into the woods // naughty - matilda // everything’s coming up roses - gypsy // take me or leave me - rent // don’t rain on my parade - funny girl // colored woman - memphis // lot’s wife - caroline, or change // bring it on - bring it on: the musical // before it’s over - dogfight // astonishing - little women // shall i tell you what i think of you - the king and i // get out and stay out - 9 to 5 // satisfied - hamilton // defying gravity - wicked // so much better - legally blonde //

L I S T E N

“two hundred girls who are younger and thinner than me” doesn’t really work when anna kendrick is the one singing it. who are these two hundred girls who are younger and thinner than anna kendrick?? what’s she auditioning for? annie???

The signs as musical theatre responses to the US election results
  • Aries: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
  • Taurus: I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living
  • Gemini: You've torn it all apart, I'm watching it burn
  • Cancer: You have invented a new kind of stupid a damage you can never undo kind of stupid
  • Leo: There's a moment you know you're fucked
  • Virgo: Go and hide and run away
  • Libra: Why God, why today?
  • Scorpio: Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise
  • Sagittarius: I know him, that can't be
  • Capricorn: See it's your fault. No. Yes it's your fault
  • Aquarius: Do you hear the people sing? Singing the songs of angry men?
  • Pisces: Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit
have any of you realized that almost every musical has a sex anthem?

heathers: dead girl walking

book of mormon: baptise me (this one is arguable but you get it)

rocky horror: toucha toucha touch me (and basically the whole musical tbh:

spring awakening: word of your body (and, again, basically the whole musical)

hamilton: say no to this

the last five years: shiksa goddess


please add on… this is very shocking to me

Na na na na, na na na
Oh Schmuel, you’ll get to be happy!

Na na na na, na na na,
I̧͉̯̣ ̩̻̼̤͟g҉̡҉̣̰̰̘͙͕̺i͏̖̼̝̫̪͟v̨҉̘͖̟̞e̴͏̖͍̳̞͔̘͈̜ ̹͇y̰̪͖ò͈͓́u͓̮ ̴͈̙͓̥͈̙̱ú̴̠̺̟̳̙̥̝̖̘n̫̥͍̫͙͚͕l̶̞̳̬̟͎ͅì̧͈͓m̦͍̤̰͉̟̻i͇̩̬t̹͔̦̠̖͠é̫̼d͓̲̀ ͡͡͏̗̼̪̠t̡͉̞̙i̛͓̠̙̫͚̲̩m͝͏̞͔̱͔̠̣̬e̟̯̩̳͕̳͇̣͢͞!̴̴̢̘̫̝̩͙̪̼̦