the lacey porter show


Don’t miss the winter premiere of Twisted tonight February 11th (9:00 - 10:00 PM ET/PT) on ABC Family where shocking truths are revealed and new secrets are shared in “Dead Men Tell Big Tales.” #SpreadTheWord

How Vikram Desai was fucking half of the green grove suburban housewife population but he wasn’t fucking tess? How Vikram Desai didn’t give a shit about letting his son go down for murder but he somehow cared so much about tess’s baby that wasn’t even his? why lacey never got to bitchslap Jo? Why Judy porter never got to go off on kyle Masterson for not doing shit when her baby’s privacy was violated? Why lacey never got to tell danny that he ain’t shit? why danny never got to call Jo out for being a thirsty ass ain’t shit friend? how didn’t danny not know whitney was shady when he grew up knowing her and according to her momma she came out the womb a shady bitch? Why Jo gets to suck face with half of green grove high and still not be called out for being a thirsty hoe? why did andie even exist? why didn’t lacey get to side-eye rico everytime his lame jo lovin ass breathed her air? why lacey never ate lunch in 1B? how danny learned how to drive?why didn’t danny drive his own damn car to find his special snowflake jo? how tara had time to babysit jo, danny, and lacey all the time when she had a child of her own to raise? how as tara in all them old family pics but her child was no where to be seen? How danny ain’t know he had a fake cousin? how come nobody got to call tess and her daughter out for hoping on random dick when they can’t get the Desai dick? how come we never got to know if danny got the nookie from lacey? how the soccer team make it to the regionals in 1A but in 1B they acting like season just starting? why judy never got to comfort/talk to  her children after finding out her marriage really ended and her family was torn apart because of his secret? how tess ain’t know if it was a boy or a girl that came outta her shady cooch? how nobody noticed charlie existed and disappeared after tara was murdered? WHY THE FUCK WAS TARA MURDERED? was vikram fucking the red head lady too? why that bitch killed regina? Did doug and louise ever get suspended for releasing danny and lacey’s private moment? why everybody always lying about how great Jo is? why we got to see masterson family movie night but never got to see the porter family discuss a very important family situation? WHY THE FUCK WAS MASTERSON SEX EVEN A THING? how we got masterson sex but no dacey sex? why did danny turn into suck a bitch made Jo chaser?how did rico even know it was a necklace karen threw into that lake when it was night time and he was 1000 feet away? how vikram had all these hoes crazy over him? why did vik even fake his death? where was his ass all this time? if he was fucking gloria crane why was tess the one to finally lure him back to town (but they wasn’t fucking tho o_O)? why did karen throw a casserole at tess shady ass only to later be bffs and bond over how vik was’t shit? how come karen didn’t call tess out on her 180 on vikram? why didn’t lacey get to repair her friendship with sarita? why did sarita disappear? why did half the green grove high population disappear? does archie still live in town or nah? I thought cole was danny homeboy where he went? if jo so great why so don’t have more friends? why lacy gotta be the one to solve everybody shit while nobody give a fuck about her? why lacey still claiming the trio when the trio ain’t claiming her? why the trio went from being a trio as kids to a duo plus 1 as kids? why Jo still salty? why karen stopped being a fly ass housewife to rocking a damn braid and messy tess masterson hair? how jack go from living at a random ass boat house to all of a sudden plotting with his daughter and charlie to infiltrate the desai family? how come vikram came back only to die in like 5 minutes? how lacey went from being super guarded to letting a shady bitch like whitney into her life all willy nilly? why lacey never got to bitch slap danny? shit why lacey never got to curse not a single person on the show out? why Jo went from being a miserable bitch to an insufferable bitch? what kinda voodoo Jo got on everybody to make them think she so special and great without receipts to back that up? why jo got to cry because she willingly tossed that v card at tyler but lacey never got to cry when the whole school saw her being intimate with her boyfriend?WHY NOBODY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT LACEY? and WHY LACEY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THESE PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER? how charlie managed to share a room with danny in juvie? how charlie knew danny was his cousin but danny ain’t know charlie was his cousin? how come nobody remembers that Jo is a flaky disloyal heaux? why kyle can’t tell that his wife and daughter ain’t shit? why did the lady cop disappear? where eddie ass came from? why eddie was a better cop than kyle? WTF was the purpose of MARNA inc? WTF did vik used to do in connecticut? why he had that apartment under his name? what kinda hardened criminal that can flawlessly fake his own death put a secret apartment in his own name? why was tess adopted baby more involved in the plot that lacey? why did andie’s parents make an random ass appearance for 2 minutes but clara wasn’t at her own party? Did clara’s gymnastic’s coach move to seattle to be with samuel or nah? did judy pull clara outta gymnastics after learning about how the coach was fucking with her husband? what kinda friendship did judy have with tess and karen? how did the trio even become friends? WHAT THE FUCK WAS TWISTED ABOUT THIS PREDICTABLE ASS SHOW?