Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker would include:
Author’s Note: I really love these headcannon lists so I decided to try them out, hope you enjoy <3
Warning(s): swearing and Deadpool tbh
Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker would include:
• LMAO LORDY HERE WE GO
•meeting him by chance at Starbucks. -they’d call out ‘Stark’ to come pick up your drink and Peter would freak out.
•he’d try and talk to you about the ‘stark internship’ and you’d be like 'tf are you?’ -“Hi I’m P-Parker Pete, I mean Peter Parker” -“okay do you want like an autograph or something???”
•he’d be like stumbling over his words and you’d think he was cute so you’d sign his arm with your number and he’d freak out.
•he wouldn’t know whether or not to call you or how to talk to you so he just wouldn’t. -Ned yelling at him bc Peter is stupid.
•and you’d be upset that this Parker Pete dude didn’t call you back and Tony would try to cheer you up.
•you’d be a huge Spider-Man fan
•like high-key Spidey fan
•and for some reason Tony forgot to tell you that he knew Spiderman.
•so you’d flip shit when Tony would come into the compound with an unmasked Spiderman. -“you?? Know?? SPIDEY?? And you??? Didn’t??? Tell me???” -“(Y/N) please, I’m old and highly susceptible to heart attacks”
•then you’d flip shit on Peter for not calling you. -“and you Parker Pete! You didn’t call me??”
•completely ignoring the fact that Peter is spiderman.
•dropping by during training sessions.
•getting sent out bc you’re too distracting.
•convincing Tony to let you go public school so you can 'monitor’ Peter’s progress.
•Peter showing off your friendship to everyone.
•picking up Ned and Peter in one of Tony’s flashy cars just to prove Flash wrong.
•sticking up for Peter 99.9% of the time.
•Peter being grateful for having you as a friend.
•you end up crushing on Peter haaaard -it being painfully obvious to everyone but Peter -Ned teasing you for it until the end of time.
•he asks you out at one of Liz’s parties during 7 minutes of heaven. -“so- *kiss*-I was thinking- *kiss*-maybe later we could- *kiss*” -“yes Peter I’ll go out with you”
•keeping it a secret from Tony bc he thinks dating will interfere with Peter being Spiderman.
•dating for like a year behind Tony’s back.
•the avengers finding out bc Wanda accidentally reads your thoughts one day :) -“you made out with Peter?” -“WHo toLd yOu ThAt?”
•overprotective mother!Steve Rogers.
•dates swinging above the New York skyline.
•Peter sneaking into your room when he gets hurt.
•making up crazy excuses when Tony almost barges into your room. -“IM ON MY PERIOD! BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!” -“I’m too old for this”
•Tony inviting Peter to team dinners. -holding hands under the table. -blowing kisses when Tony isn’t looking.
•makeout sessions on the roofs of sky scrapers.
•attempting to do the Spider-Man kiss. -“Peter I think we’re doing this wrong” -“No I got this” *web snaps* “AHhH”
•“Y/N NO” “Y/N YES”
•Ned being disturbed by your PDA.
•kisses by the lockers.
•flash flirting with you
•he’d like clench his jaw and glare and you’d find that really hot tbh.
•but then flash would say some dumb shit like “how’d penis Parker get a hot babe like you?”
•you almost breaking Flash’s arm
•Peter cheering you on.
•Slapping Peter’s ass at school when no ones looking
•Peter blushing all the time bc it happens on a daily basis
•Getting angry at your dad when he takes away Peter’s suit. -“Y/N talk to me” -“Not until you give Peter back his suit” -“he doesn’t deserve it” -“he deserves everything in the world and so much more than you. He tried to help you, but you didn’t listen!”
•Tony being hurt bc you’ve never fought with him before.
•him wondering why you’re defending Peter.
•it finally clicking that you’re dating Peter.
•Tony being mad at you for keeping it a secret.
•Peter not wanting to come between you and your dad’s close relationship
•coming to Peter’s defence when Tony tries to 'kill’ him. -“dad no! I love him” -“you love me?”
-“ew this is so sweet I can feel the diabetes already”
•PDA around the avengers tower after that -“The 'making out’ is disturbing me”
-“Peter! Peter! What time did the man go to the dentist?!’’
-”(Y/N) go away"
-“Tooth hurt-y! get it?”
•study dates -turning into makeout sessions -resulting in you guys being supervised by vision
•you trying on the suit -almost suffocating -accidentally swinging out into the streets of New York -you going to hospital -lectures from Tony.
•getting the talk from Wade -crying afterwards bc Wade is weird. -Tony trying to kill Wade
•“PETER NO” “PETER YES”
•passing notes in class
•staring at each other in class
•detentions together -resulting in you making out in the back. -resulting in you guys getting kicked out of detention -never getting detention from other teachers bc they are disturbed by teen romance
•girl talks with Michelle and Liz -Ned and Peter trying to spy on you guys -Ned and Peter treating it like a secret mission and having code names. -“Nedstar 101, I have visual on the birds” -“copy that Peterpiper” -“you know we can see you guys right” -“abort mission! abort mission! We’ve been compromised!”
•getting mad when Peter doesn’t ask you to homecoming. -him being really confused bc he thought he didn’t have to ask since you guys were dating.
•Peter getting the silent treatment. -“BaBbBeeee” -“PlEASe talk to mEee”
•Asking Ned for help -failing miserably and making you even more mad.
•going to Tony for help -also failing miserably. -“she’s your daughter??? How did this go so wrong???” -“I don’t know!? I’m a failure!?”
•Peter sitting outside your bedroom door for like 2 hours. -forgiving him when you come home to find him sleeping there.
•tickle fights -Peter accidentally kicking you in the face. -going to the hospital again. -getting lectures from Tony and Steve.
•cooking with Aunt May
•May loves you
•girl talks with May -Peter trying to spy on these.
•going to Thai restaurants with May and Peter -sometimes Tony would come -things would get weird -Thai food puns
•May and Peter coming to spend family holidays with you and the avengers. -Tony being weird with Aunt May -reJectIoOoN
•Peter bringing you lunch bc you always forget to eat.
•Peter crying over the titanic -“Pete are you crying?” -“No this is liquid pride”
•Movie nights with the Avengers -Tony and Peter crying and laughing over the same scenes -you and the avengers being weirded out.
•Peter braiding your hair
•Playing with Peter’s hair -it helps him fall asleep or calm down from stress.
•falling asleep on one another -the avengers taking photos of you guys -someone knocking something over effectively waking you up. -proceed to you screaming at the avengers for like 5 minutes.
•you being the big spoon -Peter never admiting that to anyone. -you telling everyone.
•late night calls -effectively running up Tony’s phone bill. -“Y/N WHY IS YOUR CELL PHONE BILL OVER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!” -“I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS A PROBLEM I MEAN WE’RE BILLIONAIRES”
•Tony showing off you and Peter’s relationship -cos he’s a proud dad -uncle!Tony loves his spiderling.
•You making Peter the happiest he’s ever been and vice Versa.
Greatest Gay Lovers: Alexander the Great x Hephaestion
Alexander III of Macedon son of King Philip II, would grow up to be the worlds greatest military commander.
By the age of age of 18, he brought down the greatest empire the world has ever seen. Conquered most of the known world by the age of 33. While never losing a battle.
As a child Alexander had a passion for philosophy. He attended lectures at Mieza, tutor by Aristotle. While there he would meet Hephaestion. Who would later become the 2nd most powerful man in Alexander’s empire. As well as Alexander’s life long lover and confidant.
Their tutor Aristotle described the friendship as “one soul abiding in two bodies”.
Alexander would describe his relationship with Hephaestion, to that of Achilles and Patroclus. Who are said to be lovers by Plato and Aeschylus.
Robin Lane Fox, wrote: “Already the two were intimate, Patroclus and Achilles even to those around them; the comparison would remain to the end of their days and is proof of their life as lovers…”
In 324 BC, Hephaestion contracted typhoid. Hearing the news Alexander rushed to be at his side but by the time he arrived, Hephaestion passed away.
Plutarch says ”…Alexander’s grief was uncontrollable, he flung himself on the body of his friend and lay there nearly all day long in tears, and refused to be parted from him until he was dragged away by force by his companions.“
Arrian states ”…for two whole days after Hephaestion’s death Alexander tasted no food and paid no attention in any way to bodily needs, but lay on his bed now crying lamentably, now in the silence of grief.“
Alexander cut his hair short in mourning, this last a poignant reminder of Achilles’ last gift to Patroclus on his funeral pyre: Arrian states ”… he laid the lock of hair in the hands of his beloved companion, and the whole company was moved to tears.“
Long after Alexander own death one philosopher wrote, Alexander was only defeated once and that was by Hephaestion’s thighs.
OKAY SO IM THINKING THEY’RE HAVING A CASUAL CONVERSATION DRINKING AN ALCOHOL BEVERAGE (BC LETS BE REAL WHEN ARE THEY NOT DRINKING) AND BEING ALL DOMESTIC AND CUTE AND FLUFF AND STUFF AND THEN ALEC BC HE LOVES KISSING HIS BF SO MUCH CAN’T HELP HIMSELF SO HE CASUALLY GOES FOR IT BUT THEN IT STARTS GETTING MORE PASSION AND THEY BOTH WANT MORE AND THEY WANT TO TOUCH EACH OTHER BUT THE DRINK HOLDING IS AN OBSTACLE SO ALEC JUST PULLS AWAY AND SILENTLY WHILE LOOKING INTO MAGNUS’S EYES TAKES HIS GLASS AND PUTS THEM DOWN AND THEN THEY’RE AT IT AGAIN AND ITS MORE PASSIONATE THEN EVER AND THE KISSES DEEPEN AND THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER BC THEY NEED IT AND NDEKLWNF’KFN,