the king of my heart and everything i want to be

anonymous asked:

[the angst king™ is back]-Chloes dad dropped her at her moms the summer after freshman year and never came back -shes not dealing well -example shes a bitch -she doesnt mean to be but she doesnt know how to deal with it -her mom isnt around either bc shes running a multibillion dollar company -jake cant deal with his parents being gone either -hes in like everything because he doesn't want to be in a huge house alone -thats what drew Chloe and Jake together in the first place, bad parents -jake

:’( The Angst King™ has his rule…… over my heart

These are all perfect I don’t wanna touch them nadjbdhadba

The Wakandan Royal Portrait offers clues to the dangers within the fictional nation

T’CHALLA

“What makes him different from other superheroes first and foremost is he doesn’t see himself as a superhero,” says director and co-writer Ryan Coogler (Fruitvale Station, Creed). “He sees himself as a politician. That’s the first thing on his mind when he wakes up in the morning. ‘How am I going to fulfill my duties as king of this place?’”

That means not just fighting external foes, but keeping the citizens of his nation happy. He’s a king, but not a tyrant. And Wakandans don’t speak with only one voice. There are many political factions, many clashing points of view. Some are ready for revolution. Some are being pushed.

“He has to keep harmony between the tribes within his country, and that means managing expectations and doing things that are unpopular,” Coogler says. “At the same time, he is the protector of that nation.”

RAMONDA

Angela Bassett costars as Ramonda, once the queen, now the mother of the king.

“She is one of the advisors that he would look to,” Boseman says. “He has to look to her for some of the answers of what his father might want or might do. She may not be exactly right all the time, but she definitely has insights. She is the queen mother. And she’s that for not just him, but for everybody.”

Bozeman laughs. “She’s has her hands in everything — even his love life.”

NAKIA

“The one thing I will say about all the female characters in this movie is that they are very strong,” Boseman says. “It’s a very matriarchal society.”

One of them is Wakanda’s undercover operative Nakia, played by 12 Years a SlaveOscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o. She may actually be the closest thing to 007 in this movie, and she’s a former lover of T’Challa’s.

“She is a departure from what she was in the comic book,” Nyong’o says. “Nakia is a war dog. She is basically an undercover spy for Wakanda. Her job is to go out into the world and report back on what’s going on.”

She also boasts some unique weaponry. “We call them her ring blades,” says Moore. “The ones Lupita carries while in the green outfit are based on traditional African weaponry. However, she does get a hi-tech upgrade later in the film, compliments of Shuri.”

SHURI

Letitia Wright plays T’Challa’s kid sister, who is no one you want to face in battle either. “She is also a genius and runs the entire Wakandan design group,” says producer Kevin Feige, whose also president of Marvel Studios and one of the chief architects of its interlocked universe. “She’s responsible for all these amazing technological advances that Vibranium has brought about from Wakanda.”

Here she is pictured with twin, panther-shaped weapons. It’s not clear yet what they do exactly, but it probably hurts.

OKOYE

She’s not technically family, but she’s just as close. This character played by The Walking Dead‘s Danai Gurira is the head of the Dora Milaje, the all-female special soldiers unit that protects the kingdom (and the king) from harm.

“They are a very powerful force,” she says. “They are not utopic, but what Wakanda has down well is it has allowed people to function within their strengths. These women, their strength is to preserve Wakanda. It’s more like the secret service in a sense that it’s not just military. She is head of intel.”

Okoye has guilt over the death of the previous king, and she’s generally a stoic presence. But she’s not unfeeling. “She can be serious, but she also has an unexpected sense of humor,” Gurira says. “She has a heart, but for her country and for her people. She’s not a person who doesn’t connect to human beings as a result of what she does.”

ERIK KILLMONGER

There is an enemy in this portrait.

In the comics, he was once a Wakandan known as N’Jadaka, but he took on this “death-dealing” nom de guerre when he became a dissident, then an exile, from his homeland.

Michael B. Jordan’s character is one of the antagonists of the film, allied with the mercenary Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis, reprising his role from Avengers: Age of Ultron), an arms dealer who has plundered Vibranium before and plans to do it again. He’s addicted.

In The Godfather terms, Killmonger has sided with this outsider against “the family,” his brothers and sisters of Wakanda. “I think Killmonger has his own opinion on how Wakanda has been run and should run, and what I think Michael brings to the table is sort of a charming antagonist, who doesn’t agree with how T’Challa is running things, frankly,” says Moore. “I think that puts T’Challa in a difficult situation. Killmonger is a voice of a different side of Wakanda.”

W’KABI

Get Out star Daniel Kaluuya plays T’Challa’s best friend, who is also a member of one of the most vital groups in the nation. “W’Kabi is the head of security for the Border Tribe,” says Moore. “They live on the borders of Wakanda and serve as the first line of defense for the country.”

In other words, he helps maintain the disguise that Wakanda is just mines, farms, and woods.

“To outsiders they appear to be what people would ‘expect’ of a small provincial African nation – but the truth is they are some of the fiercest warriors in Wakanda, intent on protecting the secrets of their advanced nation at all costs,” Moore says.

Now that T’Challa is king, he asks W’Kabi to join him as a palace advisor.

ZURI

Another vital voice of reason for the young king is Forest Whitaker’s shaman, a longtime advisor to T’Challa’s father and the keeper of the Heart-Shaped Herb, a plant that grows only in Wakanda and absorbs the Vibranium-rich minerals. When consumed, it gives the new leader superhuman strength. (But in the comics, it only works on members of the royal bloodline.)

“He’s somewhat a religious figure or spiritual figure,” Coogler says of Zuri. “Spirituality is something that exists in Wakanda in the comics, and it’s something we wanted to have elements of in the film. Forest’s character, more than anything, is a major tie-back to T’Challa’s father. Zuri is someone he looks to for guidance.”

As wondrous as Wakanda seems, it can also be treacherous. For all the talk of honor in The Godfather, the families were compulsively driven to destroy each other. 007 may venture to the most beautiful places (and people) on Earth, but there’s always a villain determined to wipe those places off the map. If Black Panther owes thematic inspiration to those predecessors, the danger comes hand in hand with the beauty.

But that’s where the similarities will end. When the Marvel Studios movie debuts Feb. 16, the story will remain on Earth, but its creators pledge to take fans to a world they’ve never seen before nonetheless.

“I don’t think people are prepared for what this movie is going to be,” says Feige. “Not just Black Panther, but the Dora Milaje, and Killmonger, and the entire design of Wakanda – both its traditional African-inspired elements, but also the Vibranium inspired techno-elements. I can’t think of a blend that has happened like that before in movies.”

There’s only one Black Panther, after all.

No matter who wants to lay claim to his throne.

Flower meanings I wanted to get out there. It seemed pretty cool to me but was a lot of work as I couldn’t copy and past my research from websites. Use it for a florist AU or somethin’ I dunno have fun

Alstroemeria - Wealth, prosperity, fortune, friendship

Amaryllis - Splendid beauty, worth beyond beauty


Anemone - Fading hope, forsaken, anticipation


Anthurium - Hospitality, happiness, abundance


Aster - Patience, a love of variety, elegance, daintiness


Bird of Paradise - Joyfulness, magnificence, wonderful anticipation


Bouvardia Double - Enthusiasm, zest for life


Calla Lily - Magnificence, beauty, purity, innocence


Carnation - Pride, beauty


Red Carnation - Love, pride, admiration


Pink Carnation - Love of a woman or a mother


Purple Carnation - Capriciousness


Yellow Carnation - Disdain, rejection, disappointment


White Carnation - Innocence, pure love


Striped Carnation - Refusal


Chrysanthemum - Fidelity, optimism, joy, long life


Red Chrysanthemum - Love


White Chrysanthemum - Truth, loyal love


Yellow Chrysanthemum - Slighted love


Daffodil - regard, chivalry, rebirth, new beginnings, eternal life, unrequited love


Daffodil (Single) - Foretells a misfortune


Daffodil (Bunch) - Joy, happiness


Daisy - Innocence, purity, loyal love, “I will never tell.”


Gerbera Daisy- Cheerfulness


Delphinium - Big hearted, fun, lightness, levity, ardent attachment


Freesia - Innocence, thoughtfulness


Gardenia - Purity, sweetness, secret love, joy, conveys loneliness from the giver


Gerbera - Cheerfulness

Gladiolus - Strength of character, remembrance


Lavender Heather - Admiration, solitude, beauty


White Heather - Protection, wishes will come true


Hyacinth - Playfulness, sporty attitude, extreme rashness, constancy


Blue Hyacinth - Constancy


Purple Hyacinth - Sorrow


Red/Pink Hyacinth - Play


White Hyacinth - Loveliness


Yellow Hyacinth - Jealousy


Hydrangea - Heartfelt emotions, gratitude for being understood, frigidity, heartlessness


Iris - Eloquence


Purple Iris - Wisdom, compliments


Blue Iris - Faith, hope


Yellow Iris - Passion


White Iris - Purity


Larkspur - Levity, lightness, fickleness, haughtiness


Lilac - Youthful innocence, confidence


White Lilac - Humility, Innocence


Field Lilac - Charity


Purple Lilac - First love


Lily - Purity, refined beauty


White Lily - Modesty, virginity


Orange Lily - Passion


Yellow Lily - Gaiety


Lily of the Valley - Sweetness, purity of heart


Easter Lily - Virgin Mary


Orchid - Exotic beauty, refinement, thoughtfulness, mature charm, proud and glorious femininity


Peony - Bashfulness, compassion, indignation, shame, happy life, happy marriage, good health, prosperity


King Protea - Change, transformation, daring, resourcefulness, diversity, courage


Queen Anne - Haven, sanctuary, complexity, delicateness


Ranunculus - Radiant charm, attractiveness

Snapdragon - Graciousness, strenght, deception, presumption

Statice - Remembrance, sympathy, success

Stock - Lasting beauty, happy life, bonds of affection, promptness

Sunflower - Pure thoughts, adoration, dedication, dedicated love, haughtiness

Sweet Pea - Delicate pleasure, bliss, departure after having a good time

Tulip - Declaration of love, fame, perfect love

Rose - Love

Red Rose - Love, longing, desire, respect, admiration, devotion

Deep Red Rose - Regret, sorrow

White Rose - Purity, chastity, innocence, new beginnings, sympathy, humility, spirituality

Yellow Rose - Exuberance, joy, warmth, welcome, friendship, caring, purely platonic emotions

Pink Rose - Gentleness, admiration, joy, gratitude, appreciation, elegance, grace

Orange Rose - Passion, energy, desire, pride, fervor, fascination

Lavender Rose - Enchantment, love at first sight, majesty, splendor, fascination, adoration

Blue Rose - Elusive, unattainable, mysterious, desire, I can’t have you but I can’t stop thinking about you

Green Rose - Harmony, opulence, fertility, best wishes for a prosperous new life or wishes for recovery of good health

Black Rose - Death, farewell, elusive

Mixed Roses - Mixed feelings, I don’t know my feelings yet but I care about you enough to send roses

Moss Rosebud - Confession of love

Thorn-less Rose - Love at first sight, early attachment

Leaf Rose - You may hope

Hibiscus Rose - Delicate beauty

Burgundy Rose - Unconscious beauty

Christmas Rose - Relieve my anxiety

Dog Rose - Pleasure and pain

Damask Rose - Freshness, Persian ambassador of Love

Garden Rose - I am from Mars

Tea Rose - I will remember always

Rose of Sharon - Consumed by love

Carmine Rose - Deceitful desire

Cardinal Red Rose - Sublime desire

Amaranth Red Rose - Long standing desire

Wild Rose - Simplicity

Musk Rose - Capricious beauty

Rosa Mundi - Variety

Single Red Rose - “I love you”

A Single White Rose - “My feelings are pure”

A Single Yellow Rose - “You bring joy to my life” “Let’s be friends”

A Single Pink Rose - “I like you”

A Single Orange Rose - “I am proud of you”

A Single Peach Rose - “Thank you” “I sympathise with you”

A Single Lavender Rose - “I am enchanted by you”

A Single Blue Rose - “You seem like an unattainable dream”

A Crown Of Roses - Reward of virtue

A Bouquet Of Roses - Gratitude

A Rose In A Tuft Of Grass - There is everything to be gained by good company

One Red Rose - “I love you” “You are the one for me”

Two Red Roses - “Let us be together”

Three Red Roses - “You and me and our love for company”

Five Red Roses - “I am halfway in love with you”

Twelve Red Roses - “Be mine”

Twenty Five Red Roses - “Congratulations”

Fifty Red Roses - “My love for you is limitless”

I asked my mom to name each voltron character and their personality

Lance:

Me: “What’s his name?”

Mom: “I’m trying to think of something sly like, Leo.”

*snorts*

“He’s a player. A big flirt. Like he thinks he’s better than everybody but he’s really not.”

“Anything else?”

“No that’s it.”

“Wow.”

Keith:

Mom: “James”

Me: “JAMES?”

“And ack he’s sad god love him. He may be a bit disgruntled but he looks very sad. I think he seems like a nice guy, you know?”

“Yeah”

“He’s very closed off too. Cause he has his arms crossed. That means you’re closed off.”

Hunk:

Mom: “His name is…….. Patrick.”

Me: *laughing my ass off* “You’re giving them such generic names!”

“So? I like em names.”

*my brother from a distance* “PATRICK LMAO”

“And he looks a wee bit dozy.”

“Dozy?”

“Yeah he doesn’t know what he’s up to. He thinks he knows what he’s doing but he has no clue. He’s a big lug.”

*after being told his name is Hunk* “I like Patrick better.”

Pidge:

Mom: “I’m just gonna give her a name. Jenny.”

Me: “Jen- okay”

“And she looks like she’s a curious wee book worm girl. She’s probably really smart and slightly misunderstood maybe?”

“Is that it?”

“Ay”

Shiro:

Mom: “I’m trying to think of a name for him……….. Ian.”

Me: *trying to hold back laughter*

“Ian and he’s a wee bit scary. He’s like the leader. He’s the one in control of everything, you know? And he seems very… very distant but he wants to be closer maybe? Like he wants to be friendly but he’s gotta play the tough guy.”

Allura:

Mom: “……….Quintara.”

Me: “QUINTARA- at least it’s not something generic.”

“She looks like a princess. She looks… friendly? But a little bit sad or something? Worried maybe. But determined. She’d kill a bitch.”

*laughing our asses off cause FACTS*

Coran:

Mom: “His name is…………………………………….*long pause*…………………………….. Red.”

Me: “Red??”

“Yeah cause his hair. You know? He’s a red head.”

“Why would his name be red because of his hair color?”

“Because that’s the nickname. He’s very stuck up. Very snotty. ‘Mr. know it all.’”

“I can’t.”

“He may even speak with an English accent.”

*pissing myself at this point*

Lotor:

Mom: “….*long pause again*………. Like, fricken Zaltor?”

Me: *choking* “You’re close?”

“He’s a powerful enemy out to kill everybody. He has a dark side but he might have a light side too. He seems a wee bit soft hearted maybe? You know what, he reminded me of the princess. Allura? Yeah he reminded me of her. That, ‘I’m gonna kill. I’m soft hearted but I can kill you.’ and maybe that royalty stance gives off that impression.”

Zarkon:

Mom: *scared look* “Oh jesus……… King Buggaboo.”

Me: “wHAT??”

“I don’t know he looks like a bug! King Buggaboo!”

“THESE ARE THE VILLAINS, WHY WOULD A VILLAINS NAME BE ‘BUGGABOO?’ THAT’S NOT INTIMIDATING AT ALL.”

“True.”

“Try giving him a more intimidating name.”

“Mac.”

*w h e e z i n g*

“He’s like a big Mac Truck.”

“THAT’S NOT BETTER BUT OKAY.”

“He looks like he has a big raspy voice and he’s scary. He’s kinda like Megabyte, you know?” *she’s talking about Megabyte from reboot lmao* “He’s a trickster.”

*after explaining that he’s Lotors dad*

“Oooh…. this- this one, him? THAT’S HIS DAD?? WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO HIM???”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

Haggar:

Mom: “Ooo she looks like a witch doctor. She’s pretty dark. ‘Evil one.’ Her name’s Voltra.”

Me: “Yeah, VOLTRONS enemys name is VOLTRA.”

“Oh right it’s Voltron. I forgot the name. But she’s a nasty piece of work. There’s no soul in her.”

*me and my brother share a ‘If only she knew’ look*

*after explaining she’s Lotors mom.*

“So Zarkon is her husband.”

“Oh shit. Them two a couple? Fuck.”

little reputation things™
  • *ahem*
  • BUMMM BUMM BUM BUMMMM BUMM BUMM KNEW HE WAS A KILLA
  • i i i i  see how this is gon go
  • “but if i’m a thief then he can join the heist”
  • baby let the games begin! let the games begin! ahAH AHHHHHHHH
  • GETTING .5 SECONDS INTO END GAME AND UNDERSTANDING WHY THE ALBUM IS CALLED REPUTATION
  • ahHHH and ya heard about me”
  • ed sheeran rapping on a taylor swift song
  • “i swear i don’t love the drama IT LOVES ME”
  • ed in the background of the last chorus: “be yoUR A TEAM NOW”
  • the string plucky things in the beginning of i did something bad
  • “if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing”
  • THEN WHY’S IT FEEL SO BANG BANG GOOD BANG BANG GOOD
  • “and i’d do it over and over and over again if iiiii could”
  • RAH DI DI DI DI DI DI DI DI DI DAHHHHH 
  • “they’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one”
  • taylor apparently wanting to be set on fire
  • ((agreed))
  • the harmonies on this album filling my entire soul
  • “oHHH LORD SAVE ME MY DRUG IS MY BABY I’LL BE USING FOR THE REST OF MY LIIIIIIIIFE” aka the only prayer i’ll ever say again
  • i get so high OH… trip of my life OH
  • the way she sings “using for the rest of my life oHH OH OH OHHH” after the bridge damn son
  • “my reputation’s never been worse so he must like me for me”
  • taylor finally discovering alcohol
  • the way she says “coz i know that it’s delicate” so…. delicately
  • how delicate feels like a rain shower in a desert
  • :) i :) don’t :) like :) your :) little :) games :)
  • OH look what you made me do
  • “i don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me”
  • “i’m sorry the old taylor can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh! BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD” is singlehandedly the most iconic thing i have ever and will ever hear.
  • so it goes being chill and then the chORUS AND ALL THE PIECES FALL!!! RIGHT INTO PLACE!!!
  • ;) scratches ;) down ;) your ;) back ;) now ;)
  • o n e  t w o  t h r e e
  • how getaway car is the only song i ever want to hear ever again
  • WE NEVER HAD A SHOTGUN SHOT IN THE DARK
  • think about the place where you first met me
  • “there were sirens in the beat of your heart”
  • the way she says getaway
  • the chorus of this song feeling like driving down a highway with the windows rolled down in the middle of the night
  • GO! GO! GO!
  • being part of a heist, leaving money in a bag in a shady motel, stealing keys and getting tf out in her getaway car. zoom zoom bitch.
  • COS NOTHING GOOD STARTS IN A GETAWAY CAR
  • “all the boys in their expensive cars, the range rovers and jaguars never took me quite where you do” calvin harris WHOM
  • the drums in king of my heart are more important than my need to breathe
  • “your love is a secret i’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep”
  • ~up on the roof with a school girl crussshhhh drinking beer outta plastic cupsssss~
  • i’ll never let you goOOO
  • but we were dancing BASS DROP dancing with our hANDS TIED, HANDS TIED
  • “oh baby can we dance, through an avalanche?”
  • “swaying as the room burnt down, i’d hold you as the water rushes in” …. “so i punched a hole in the roof, let the flood carry away all my pictures” ….. h e c k
  • fiRST TIME FIRST TIIIIMEE OH 
  • how dress is literally an orgasm turned into a song and i’m… into it
  • take it oH OH OH OH OFFFF
  • “carve your name into my bedpost”
  • “but if i get burnt at least we were electrified”
  • wildest dreams who???
  • “and i woke up just in time, now i wake up by your side”
  • say my name and everything just stops -EVERYTHING STOPS-
  • THE ALARM BELLS IN THE BEGINNING OF NICE THINGS
  • ra’lin’ the chandilier
  • THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE! THINGS! DAR!LIN!!!
  • AWaaaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAAY
  • “and therein lies the issue, friends don’t try to trick you, get you on the phone and mind twist you”
  • the sound of shots being fired from every possible angle
  • if only you weren’t…. so shadyyyyy :)
  • they don’t care about the HE SAID SHE SAID
  • the way she says “and here’s to my baaabyyy
  • the organ?? piano???? during “and hereeee’s to youuu…” oh my god
  • CACKLE “I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE”
  • her voice at the end when she just says “nice things” 
  • her world crumbling around her and that’s just fine?? because of joe???? i wasn’t ready 
  • I’M THE ONE HE’S WALKING TOOOOOOO
  • “loves me like i’m brand new”
  • “all my flowers grew back as thorns” …. “all the flowers that we’d grown together died of thirst” again…. clean WHOM
  • I’M DOIN BETTER THAN I EVER WAASSSS
  • i’m laughing with my lover makin forts under covers trust him like a brother yeah you know i did one thing right
  • not because he owns me but cos he really knows me. which is more than they can say.
  • “you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me?” “yes.” :’)
  • call it what you want is the lightest, softest pink sunrise seen from the window of a peaceful airplane in the early morning of a good day
  • how we went from pop anthems to??? i’m bawling in a sea of tissues on my bedroom floor at two in the morning and new year’s day is the most beautiful song i’ve ever heard??? 
  • it’s just a guitar and a piano and she’s harmonizing with herself
  • “don’t read the last page, but i stay”
  • “i want your midnights, and i’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day”
  • “i can tell that it’s gonna be a long road” as in she knows that even if it’ll be a long road they’ll always be together don’t TOUCH me
  • hold on to the memories, they will hold onto you
  • hold on to the memories, they will hold onto you
  • hold on to the memories, they will hold onto you
  • and i will hold onto you
  • “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere”
  • oh cool my heart’s shattered into a million pieces this is fine thanks
  • how there’s ten seconds of silence at the end of new year’s day because you bet your ass i need recovery time before the album starts over again and i gotta get back to boppin’
  • BUMMM BUMM BUMM BUMMMM BUMM BUMM KNEW HE WAS A KILLA 
  • ((they were not ready for it))
2

SECRET SESSIONS LONDON - MY STORY💕

13/10/17 (aka THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE)

okay so where do I begin…WOW.
okay so… on Monday October 3rd at 10:25pm, I was sitting on my phone in my room listening to holy ground and I was on twitter and BOOM. “TAYLOR NATION SENT YOU A DIRECT MESSAGE” I STARTED SHAKING AND CRYING WHEN I READ THE CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE I WAS SO CONFUSED BECAUSE THEY DONT EVEN FOLLOW ME (yes I’m still trying to work out technology ok) AND I FLIPPED OUT AND I RAN INTO MY MOMS ROOM SOBBING AND I TRIPPED OVER THE HOOVER BUT ITS OKAY. MY MOM WAS SAYING ALL SORTS OF THINGS LIKE SOMEONE MAY HAVE HACKED INTO TAYLOR NATIONS ACCOUNT (?????? idk). Anyway I died and my mind was a mess and I couldn’t control myself at all, I had knew what it usually meant when people got these messages and I explained everything to my mom ( she is genuinely worst-case-scenario-Christine ) and she started crying with happiness for me. THAT DAY WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED.

The next day October 4th at 5:27pm, I was (trying) to study when BOOM. I RECEIVED THE CALL. Ali phoned and told me about a special secret event on Friday the 13th of October and I was shaking so so much and could barely even talk but she was honestly the nicest ever (I noticed she said “wonderful” about a million times and I’m now so in love with that word). Side note: My mom still wasn’t really convinced this wasn’t a set up to get me kid napped but SHE FINALLY CALMED DOWN A LITTLE AND MEANWHILE I WAS SHAKING, CRYING AND BASICALLY DEAD.

Okay so then it was the waiting game…the days DRAGGED in as I found out a whole 10 DAYS before the event and I saw Taylor lurk people on tumblr/Instagram AND she liked the post about me and my best friend Eve. PEOPLE WERE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN ON THE 13TH AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE LIKE HELP ME WHATS GON HAPPEN.

Fast forward to Friday…so because I live in Glasgow I had to fly to London… I COULDNT SLEEP AT ALL AND I ONLY GOT 4 HOURS SLEEP LOL BECAUSE I GOT UP AT 4AM. We went to the airport and I was genuinely so nervous and excited about what could possibly be happening. We then got a bus and then a tube and wandered about Covent Garden and EVERYTHING kept reminding me of Taylor. We then got a tube and another bus ( NUMBER 13 ) to our hotel. I got really stressed out because I opened up my case and there was makeup spilt on my dress BUT MY MOM CAME TO THE RESCUE AND FIXED IT FOR ME. I curled my hair and fixed myself up then I went to out to the secret meeting point and recognized so many people from tumblr/twitter etc and it was SO surreal. ALSO A FEW PEOPLE CAME UP TO ME AND WERE LIKE OMG ABBIE I KNOW YOU AND THAT MADE ME FEEL SO SO SPECIAL SO I LOVE YOU FOR THAT IF THAT WAS YOU. We checked in and got really cool wristbands saying United Kingdom (IN THE REPUTATION FONT) I WAS ALREADY DEAD.

We went to drop off our bags and me and I met 2 beautiful, amazing girls called Emma ( @taylorsmusic ) and Flora ( @spoookyswift ) and we were FREAKING OUT TOGETHER. We just couldn’t comprehend that we could potentially meet our idol. We talked about everything and I genuinely think I have 2 new best friends for life. I LOVE YOU GUYS. We were on the last bus to leave so we waited foreverrrr and my nerves were building up so much and I was FULL ON ALL OVER SHOOK.

Everyone on the bus was SO EXCITED and we were all dying together. It was such a combination of nerves and excitement like I can’t even describe it. So we FINALLY arrived at our secret destination and were escorted to the entrance to be searched etc (there was a big box of socks for some reason and it made us laugh so just thought I’d add that in and also a few half finished smart water bottles👀).

Okay so then we went through to TAYLORS HOUSE. It was beautiful and there was so much food laid out and I had a REPUTATION COOKIE and CUSTOMIZED REPUTATION M&MS and CHICKEN TENDERS. Taylors playlist of the songs she loves was playing in the background and we were LOVING LIFE. (Side note: my mom loved the olives you put out taylor so thanks for that) So basically me, Emma and Flora were chilling together (we were not chill at all tho) and everything was fine THEN Flora goes “oh my god, that’s Scott” AND IM LIKE WTF AND WE ALL LOOK OVER AND DIE LIKE WHAT WAS HAPPENING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES THE KING OF GUITAR PICS WAS HERE. We went and spoke to more amazing people and life was good…THEN TREE COMES THROUGH AND IM LIKE WHATATSTSS THATS A LEGEND THEN NOT LONG AFTER THAT WE SEE ANDREA AND WE ALL DIED. I CRIED WHEN I SEEN ANDREA IDK WHY IT JUST GOT TOO MUCH AND SHES MY QUEEN. IT GENUINELY FELT LIKE A DREAM LIKE SURELY THIS WAS NOT REAL.

Finally, after a while, we went through to THE LIVING ROOM. YES. A CHAIR. A SPEAKER. WE ALL KNEW WHAT THIS WAS. ME, EMMA AND FLORA HAD A LITTLE SUPPORT NETWORK GOING ON BECAUSE WE WERE ALL HOLDING HANDS BECAUSE WE WERE NOT PREPARED AT ALL. I cried - yeah she wasn’t even here yet and I cried. So anyway THEN I’m like I can’t even do this and my heart is beating abnormally fast. And that’s when she appeared…

I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES. MY ANGEL. MY EVERYTHING. GENUINELY LIKE A METER AWAY. NO WAY. Okay so then I SOBBED even more and I was uncontrollable (I finally did calm down but omg it was so hard I couldn’t stop crying) - thank you Emma and Flora for helping me LOL. Side note: her hair was so curly and pretty and she wore this camo dress thing and SNAKE BOOOOOOTS and a snake ring and yeah I was like GO GURLLL. IN THAT MOMENT I DIED IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

On to the album, obviously you guys understand I can’t say much at all BUT REPUTATION IS MY FAVOURITE ALBUM BY FARRRRR. Like it’s genuinely so different but so genius - it’s incredible. She’s so talented and you can tell she’s worked so super hard for it and I can tell she’s happier than ever through the way she talks and she just seems so content with life and it makes me so proud and happy of how far she’s came. It’s so emotionally complex and THE LYRICS (she’s a genius okay). But there was one song that made me full on SOB and everyone in that room felt something…ANYWAY Taylor herself, during the whole of the session, she was so funny and she’s just so genuine…it was unreal. UNREAL. Some highlights that stand out to me include when during one of the songs she looked right at me for about 20 seconds or so and we just danced and smiled at each other. IVE NEVER FELT SO LOVED IN MY LIFE. To say I’m proud of her for this album is an understatement.

okay so then….IT WAS MEET AND GREET TIME. We were all sitting reading the magazines and talking to each other and it was adorable and even though I was a nervous wreck, everyone was so nice and amazing towards me. When it was time for the picture I was at the waiting point I can’t tell you how I felt. It was indescribable. I seen the 2 girls before me hug Taylor goodbye and it was my turn. I ran up to her and hugged her so hard and she looked at me and went “ITS ABBIE ISNT IT?” AND I WAS NODDING AND I WAS LIKE YEAH ITS ME and she was like “NO WAY I CHOSE YOU LIKE A YEAH AGO LIKE SOOOO LONG AGO” and I was like NO WAY and then I was like “THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE HELPED ME THROUGH, YOU’VE HONESTLY GOT ME THROUGH SO MUCH” and she was listening so intently and she smiled at me and hugged me and we held hands for a few seconds which was BEAUTIFUL and she was like “you are SO beautiful like SO beautiful and you are SO funny like you’re posts are hilarious” and I started shaking and I told her she was like a big sister to me and then we got a really cute huggy picture and then we got one with my mom which was cute and THEN (THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST MOMENT) the camera guy said to my mom “do you want a pic alone with her” and my mom was like “oh it’s okay I’m just her mom” and TAYLOR WAS LIKE" OH WELL THANKS" IT WAS SO FUNNY. THEN I told her I loved her and she was like I LOVE YOU BUDDY and I gave her one final hug before I left which was MAGICAL (I swear we hugged about 27468273 times).

As soon as I left the room, I BURST INTO TEARS I COULDN’T BELIEVE I HAD JUST MET MY IDOL AFTER LIKE 6 YEARS OF LOVING HER AND FANGIRLING OVER HER. My mom went to talk to mama swift and she said to her “thank you so much for making a beautiful, amazing role model for my daughter” and mama swift was like AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH THEN MY MOM GAVE HER A HUG AND THEN I GAVE HER A HUGE HUG AND MAMA SWIFT WAS LIKE THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING HER AND DOING THE CRAZY THINGS SHE MAKES YOU DO AND I CRIED MORE.

WE THEN WENT TO GET OUR MERCH AND GET ON THE BUS AND I WAS GENUINELY STARSTRUCK AND ME AND EMMA JUST KEPT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND BEING LIKE DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?!?!?!

Taylor,
Thank you so so so much for inviting me to your London Secret Session - it was an HONOR to be there. I can’t believe I was given such a beautiful, amazing opportunity and I meant everything I said to you in there and it truly came from the heart. I love you so much and I can’t wait to hopefully see you on tour. You mean the world to me and I can’t wait to hear reputation again and DIE ANOTHER MILLION DEATHS.
I love you so much girl.

Abbie x @taylorswift

OKAY KIDS LEMME SIT YOU TF DOWN AND TELL YOU ABOUT DAMIEN FRICKIN BLOODMARCH

(SPOILERS!!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED HIS ROUTE AND DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED DO NOT READ)

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL 

DAT HAIR, DAT MAKEUP, DAT SWEET OUTFIT 

MY ACNE IS CURED, MY GRADES HAVE GONE UP, LIFE IS A DAMN DREAM AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GOTH PRINCE

HE’S V. PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING, LIKE ONE OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THINGS IN THE WORLD IS WHEN SOMEONE IS PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT THEY LOVE AND HIS HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND WONDER LET ME TELL YOU

This dude renovated his whole house by himself. 

HIS HOUSE IS SO BEAUTIFUL I  ACTUALLY HAD THE AUDACITY TO FEEL SLIGHTLY JEALOUS OF THIS FALLEN ANGEL

I WANTED TO STEAL HIS HOUSE FROM HIM

DID I MENTION THAT HE HAS NARUTO FANFIC IN HIS VICTORIAN LIBRARY? 

NARUTO X SASUKE SMUT NO LESS

TRULY A MAN OF TASTE

And this dude has A+++++++ parenting AND gardening skills. 

He is an expert on everything Victorian, including the language of flowers and arranging bouquets and writing beautiful letters. 

INSTEAD OF SENDING YOU A MESSAGE ON DADBOOK LIKE SOME PEASANT, HE WRITES YOU GORGEOUS HEARTFELT LETTERS IN FINE CALLIGRAPHY SEALED WITH HIS OWN SIGIL

HE OFFERS TO GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED BOUQUET WITH YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER ON YOUR FIRST HANGOUT

GIVES YOU HIS HANDKERCHIEF LIKE SOME VAMPIRIC KNIGHT OF OLD

THIS DUDE IS EXTRA AF WITH EVERYTHING HE DOES AND I AM 10000% FOR IT, YES THAT’S SOME GOOOOOOOOOOOOD SHIT, SIGN ME UP

But he also has a sweet and joking side. Despite his Gothic persona, he is actually really scared by horror movies. He takes you out for a date in a graveyard and somehow makes it comforting, enchanting even. He’s always making jokes about things the Victorians COULD have done. 

Damien manages to handle his rebellious teen JUST FINE without making his son feel like he’s being patronized or controlled. He is diplomatic, calm, and loving. He’s a cool dad. 

AND WHEN YOU FINALLY GO ON YOUR THIRD DATE, OH YES YOU ARE IN FOR A SURPRISE. 

DAMIEN BLOODMARCH, MR. BEAUTIFUL PRINCE OF DARKNESS, IS ACTUALLY AN IT GUY WHO VOLUNTEERS AT AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN HIS OFF TIME. 

AND. HE. LOVES. DOGS. 

BLESSED IMAGE, REBLOG FOR GOOD FORTUNE

IF YOU WEREN’T SOLD ON HIM ALREADY, OOOOOOOOOO BABY, OOOOOOOOOO YES THIS IS THE KICKER RIGHT HERE

GOD WHAT AN ADORABLE DORK

IT TURNS OUT HE WAS ACTUALLY SCARED THAT YOU WOULDN’T LIKE THE FACT THAT HE’S NOT JUST A GOTH 24/7. THAT HE’S ACTUALLY A THREE DIMENSIONAL PERSON

AND THE REASON WHY HE DOESN’T FEAR DEATH IS BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT IT GIVES LIFE MEANING, THAT YOU SHOULDN’T LET GRIEF CONTROL YOU FOREVER

HERE IS A WONDERFUL, GORGEOUS PARENT WITH UNIQUE INTERESTS AND HE IS JUST FULL OF SO MANY SWEET THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AAGHHGHGHGH

Damien has lost people dear to him. Yet he keeps moving. He keeps finding ways to make his life interesting and beautiful. He is good with animals and kids, everyone really (except the cashier at Hot Topic). He has not let life make him bitter. I love that about his character. I think his connection with the Player Dad is really special because people judge him so quickly and the Player Dad helps show him that he’s more than just an archetype and he can be his own person. The pressure to be only a small part of himself 100% of the time was making it hard for him to enjoy his hobbies, or to feel free. And I relate to that, I really do. We all have something people expect us to be. 

And don’t even get me started on the GRADUATION PARTY

DAMIEN’S SON THANKS YOU FOR MAKING HIS DAD HAPPY

AND DAMIEN SHOWS UP IN HIS IT GUY CLOTHES 

HE HAS FINALLY ACCEPTED HIMSELF AND GAINED CONFIDENCE AND IT FEELS AMAZING

And then there is this

I have nothing to say. 

I think I almost cried when i SAW THIS GIFT FROM THE GODS

MMMMMMMMMM YESSSSSSSSSS THIS IS THE PUREST CINNAMON ROLL, 70% SUGAR, 20% GOTH, 10% BAD JOKES

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN CLEANSED AFTER PLAYING HIS ROUTE 

AND THIS IS MY INADEQUATE ESTIMATION OF DAMIEN MOTHERTRUCKING BLOODMARCH, MAY HE REIGN AS THE BEAUTIFUL DORK KING OF DARKNESS FOREVER

i miss the secret messages so i made my own:

  1. …ready for it?: let the games begin
  2. end game: I’m in it for the long haul so don’t play games with me
  3. I did something bad: I don’t owe him a single fucking thing
  4. don’t blame me: you’re my drug and I’m never quitting 
  5. delicate: I want this to last so I’m being careful
  6. look what you made me do: hiss
  7. so it goes… : when it’s just the two of us everything makes sense
  8. gorgeous: you’re hot as hell
  9. getaway car: we met while I was running away so you can’t be surprised that I left you too
  10. king of my heart: I can see us lasting forever
  11. dancing with our hands tied: the world tried to tear us apart but we kept dancing together 
  12. dress: sex.
  13. this is why we can’t have nice things: first of all, fuck you
  14. call it what you want: you don’t know about our little world
  15. new year’s day: what’s important is what’s left after the magic fades

ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THOR: RAGNAROK? BECAUSE I’M STILL SCREAMING ABOUT IT. I need so much slice-of-life on the ship fic, I need so much kissing-and-more resolution to the hug scene, I need so much speculation on what happens when they get to where they’re going, I need so much about the various friendships forming, I need so much fic about a whole bunch of people crammed into a relatively small ship for months and the hilarious and awful things that happen because of it. AND FANDOM IS DEFINITELY ON A ROLL WITH IT, THERE’S MORE GREAT STUFF.  (Part one is here!)

THOR: RAGNAROK FIC RECS:
The Breath Between Regrets by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse), thor/loki & valkyrie & heimdall & hulk & korg, ragnarok spoilers, 9.5k
   The journey to Midgard should take a year and a day. Long enough for many things.
What the Thunder Said by kyrilu, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k
   Days after the battle, Thor’s skin is still sparking lightning.
the silver forked sky by powerfulsound, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, nsfw, 1.2k
   There is a storm, sparking under Thor’s skin. Attracted to it, a magpie to shiny things, Loki is helpless in Thor’s wake.
Reunion by riventhorn, thor/loki, nsfw, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k
   After so long apart, Loki can’t help being drawn to Thor.
Privilege to love by will_thewisp, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 2.6k
   He didn’t know why Loki felt the need to fight him on every ground, to hide things that had no business being hidden, but he was determined to meet him on every occasion. To Thor it seemed that Loki fought with himself as much as with Thor.
followed you down by homovikings, thor/loki & heimdall & valkyrie & tony & sif & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 5.3k
   It’s Asgard but it isn’t.
drowning on your shore by psikeval, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k
   Loki, entirely solid, does not flicker and does not flinch.
In my Arms by wetdandelions, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 1.2k
   “I’m here,” says Loki. Set after the end of Thor: Ragnarok. PWP. SPOILERS.
In the Flesh by hjbender, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, intersex!loki, 6.3k
   Loki stares back, gives the stopper a gentle toss. It sparkles briefly in the air before he catches it again. “There isn’t anything else you’d like to give me? Nothing you’d like to say? Because”—he spreads his arms and smiles invitingly, both hands suddenly empty—“here I am.”
Nowhere Is Home Unless We’re Both In the Same Place by Velocity_Owl87, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k
   After the dust has settled, Thor realizes the implications of Kingship and Asgard’s future mean for him as the new King of Asgard. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to grapple with the situation alone, at least.
Heroes Run Towards Their Problems by Naiveandoptimistic, thor & loki & valkyrie & hulk & korg & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 1.6k
   Post-Ragnarok. Valkyrie is a drunken hot mess. Loki conceals, Hulk worries, and Thor gives some wisdom.
Not an Illusion by janto321 (FaceofMer), thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k
   Loki and Thor find comfort in one another
black sheep and mischief by grim_lupine, thor & loki, ragnarok spoilers, 3.2k
   A bird alights on Thor’s shoulder and pecks his cheek twice, hard enough to make him wince. “What are you doing?” it warbles in his ear. “Wondering what my brother is doing up at this hour, little bird,” Thor replies. “Will you go ask him for me?”
Never Doubt That I Love You by ValkyrieShepard, thor/loki & heimdall & valkyrie & hulk & cast, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 10.6k
   After Thor’s proposal, Loki pulls away. As Thor is busy trying to rule his people, Loki finds him again, and the two of them scout a possible planet for their people where Thor tries to get through his brother’s walls. There is much Loki has to work through.
after you, i dont know what i believe in by CallicoKitten, thor/loki & valkyrie & bruce & heimdall & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 9.6k
   aka, the long road to midgard
Crossroads by kyrilu, loki & heimdall, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k
   As Loki leaves Sakaar with a shipload of former prisoners, Heimdall decides to ‘visit.’
victory runes by spookykingdomstarlight, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 3.3k
   A snake couldn’t change its colors, try as he might, trust his own intentions as he wanted to. At this moment, legs braced on either side of Thor’s lap, he couldn’t imagine doing anything to undermine Thor’s rule, his wants, his needs. But tomorrow was another day and Loki’s whims were mercurial.

full details + recs under the cut!

Keep reading

***Nearly 3 weeks into the hiatus and I am missing Magnus and Alec desperately. Matthew Daddario voice: *When is it gonna end?” Siiigh. But well, what better way to spent the hiatus then reading some great Malec fanfics, right? Right. Because I have read a lot of amazing fics incl. discovering some great new authors. And now that autumn is coming…. the perfect time to read more.

Also, I am overwhelmed how many notes the last rec post got and how much you all enjoy(ed) it. So I hope this 5th edition will get a lot of love, too. Again, let me know if you liked this and if I should continue doing this. But now, have fun reading, pumpkins.***


FALL WITHOUT WINGS by @notcrypticbutcoy [ M | 144k | WIP ]

Alec has been told the same stories all his life. He’s been taught the same lines, over and over again. Downworlders are reckless, impulsive, demonic. They’re not to be trusted.

And Magnus Bane is the epitome of everything evil about Downworlders.

At least, that’s what people keep telling him. Alec’s not quite so sure anymore.

Or: In which the Nephilim have wings, are taught to loathe Downworlders, and Alec is presented with a conundrum when Magnus Bane saves his life.


HOLDING THE STICK by @baneismyexistence​  [ M | AU | 80.3k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood has dreamed of hoisting Lord Stanley since he was eight. It’s in his blood. He’s spent the last five years trying to make that dream a reality, only managing to fall short each time.

Until a scandal leads to a multi-team trade that sends Magnus Bane his way. One of the top performing wingers in the league. An up and coming star.

And the most handsome man Alec has ever met.

He’s doomed.


STRANGE LOVE by arandomfan91 [ M | AU | 46.6k | complete ]

Alec is in love with Magnus. Magnus needs Alec to be his fake boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?


STRANGE LOVE - EXTRAS by arandomfan91 [ T | AU | 13.8k | complete ]

Missing scenes and chapter re-writes from Strange Love, all told from Magnus’ POV.

These extras are tied in with the fic Strange Love. You should read that story first before reading this!


FOOLS RUSH IN by @m-aleciseverything [ M | AU | 85.2k | complete ]

Alec, Jace, and Simon go to Vegas for Jace’s bachelor party and things get a little bit ridiculous.

Alec wakes up the next morning and…wait a minute, who’s that in his bed?


AND THE OSCAR GOES TO… by @lecrit  [ E | AU | 21.5k | complete | Stars Aligned #1 ]

Working for Magnus isn’t easy. Magnus is out of control and Alec has to yell more often than not to get him to listen to him. He hates everything formal because it means he has to watch his mouth. Most importantly, Magnus is an incorrigible flirt.

Which would be alright if Alec wasn’t utterly, irremediably, unfathomably in love with him.


IT’S ALWAYS YOUR MOVE by @lecrit  [ E | AU | 15.5k | complete | Stars Aligned #2 ]

Maryse Lightwood is fierce, determinate and she is standing right in front of Magnus, on the threshold of his house, the scowl on her face announcing nothing good.

Magnus hasn’t seen her since the Oscars ceremony three days ago. To be fair, he hasn’t really seen anyone, too busy that he had been catching up on lost time with Alec.

Magnus thought he could be tranquil forever after winning an Oscar and finally confessing his feelings to Alec. Magnus was wrong.


WALK OF FAME by @lecrit  [ M | AU | 13.5k | complete | Stars Aligned #3 ]

Alec is fairly certain he is the luckiest man in America. On earth. Possibly in the entire universe.

He slowly started to convince himself of the now indisputable fact when Magnus and him started dating a year ago after the ceremony that crowned Magnus as King of the World (or Best Actor, but Alec isn’t always objective when it comes to his boyfriend).
A lot happened in a year, and Alec knows eventually the wheel is bound to spin and his luck might dim and vanish but as of now, he still feels like the luckiest man on earth, and he is going to make the most of it for as long as it lasts.


CATCHING THE LOVE BUG by @daddariossmile [ M | AU | 3.5k | complete ]

In which the Lightwood siblings always end up in the hospital, Alec spends a lot of time waiting around, and the charming Dr. Bane is more than a little attractive. 


SYMPATHY FOR THE PRINCE by @ketzwrites [ M | AU | 31.9k | complete ]

Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, was tired of his life in Hell. Every day was the same; condemned souls being punished for their wrong doings, demons feasting on the worst humanity had to offer, two or three deals with a few greedy humans. It was dull, uneventful. Boring.

So Magnus packed his bags and moved to New York City. As the owner of the lavishing club Pandemonium at the heart of Manhattan, Magnus enjoyed a life without worries for five years, until the fateful night where a former client was murdered on the streets.

It was then that he met no-nonsense Homicide Detective Alec Lightwood, owner of incorruptible morals and the tightest ass Magnus has ever seen. Earth was fun, after all.


TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS… by @baneandgone [ G | AU | 2.4k | complete ]

alec works in a coffeeshop. one day jace hijacks the chalkboard out front

(aka one of those ‘today your barista is’ sign aus)


THIGH HOLSTER by @everydayisonfire [ E | PWP | 2.2k | complete ]

Magnus doesn’t get distracted by a certain Shadowhunter, wearing a tight thigh holster.
Nope. Absolutely not.


ON THE SUBWAY by The_Forgotten_Nobody [ G | AU | 1.4k | complete | On The Subway #1 ]

Confused, Magnus followed Rafael’s line of site to the opposite side of the train where a young man sat, pulling silly faces. However, the moment he realised Magnus was staring his face flushed and he stopped, averting his eyes as if he hadn’t just answered all of Magnus’ prayers. In more ways than one as well because not only had he calmed Raf down but he was gorgeous.


MR LIGHTWOOD, MR BANE by TruePlainHearts [ E | PWP | 2.2k | complete ]

“Lovely to see you, Mr Lightwood.”

“And you, Mr Bane. Thank you for taking the time.”

*****

The kinky, shameless smut that occurs right after the rest of the clan leaders leave. Magnus and Alec make excellent and creative use of Alec’s new office and its expansive mahogany desk… and its sturdy door.


MR. LIGHTWOOD by @nanf1c​ [ M | 1.2k | complete ]

A ‘no kissing, looking at suggestively or touching’ rule was applied when it came to Magnus and Alec at the downworlder meeting. Magnus respected that, respected his man, and tried his best as soon as he walked through the doors of the institute. But now, back in his loft, with the night fallen and Alec returning through the front door from a demon attack, looking battered and exhausted, Magnus couldn’t help but keep the game going.


YOU HAVE ME by @hufflebee​ [ G | 664 | complete ]

They stay on the balcony for a while, listening to the sounds of New York at night. Alec noticed the glasses and the discarded pillows when he walked in, but he doesn’t want to break the comfortable silence they’ve fallen into. He looks over at Magnus, and by the angel, he looks beautiful, breathtaking. but the longer Alec watches him, the more he can see the makeup and hair and the clothes for what they really are.

An armour.


PARADISE IN BETWEEN by Teumessian [ E | 7.8k | complete | The Boundless Saga #4 ]

In the months following the loss of the Mortal Cup, anxieties run deep. It’s no time for a vacation, and yet… Magnus has had a lot of years to practice the art of persuasion.


WITH MY BODY AND SOUL, I WANT YOU MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW by liamandzayn [ E | PWP | 4.3k | complete ]

Alec captures the defined line of Magnus’ jaw between eager yet clumsy fingers, tilting his face upwards as they gasp into each other’s mouths, exchanging fevered gusts of breath. Magnus seizes the swollen flesh of Alec’s bottom lip with gentle teeth, nipping gingerly, suckling with avid hunger and Alec’s groan resonates loud and clear throughout the room. By the angel, he wants this man desperately; his need has become a physical ache, pulsating through his nerve endings and coiling strictly around his burning muscles.


BEGIN AGAIN by ReneeWritesx [ not rated | AU | 21k | complete | A Light To Call Home #1 ]

Unpacking sucked. And Magnus had only brought like half of his things. Okay, maybe two-thirds. But whatever, it didn’t matter. What did matter was that Magnus was sweating from carrying boxes, the cottage had no air conditioning, and he was super close to packing everything back up and driving back to New York in about three seconds.

-

Or the one where heartbreak is a pain in the ass, Magnus is forced to spend the summer in a small cottage in the hopes of finding his passion for design again, and manages to piss off the cute neighbor after only being there for two days.

“The only real pain in life is between hanging on and letting go.”


IN THE INSTITUTE by sarahrae5135 [ E | 6.1k | complete ]

Magnus stays at the Institute for the first time.


THE MORNING AFTER by @asexualalexanderlightwood​ [ not rated | 733 | complete ]

A small little post finale fic for anyone in need of more Malec loveliness


BETTER FOR YOU by @zrdu [ not rated | 9.2k | complete ]

Magnus’ and Alec’s relationship comes to a sudden halt when Maryse interferes. They both try to cope without each other.


WITH YOU WRAPPED AROUND ME, THE WORLD FEELS PERFECT by @matsdaddario  [ E | 3.6k | complete | Lovely Firsts #3 ]

Magnus is still asleep; Alec can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against his own back, and Alec takes the few minutes just to enjoy being wrapped up in Magnus’s arms. He looks down at their hands threaded together, resting against his stomach. He loves the contrast between them; tan and pale, long and lean, deep red nail polish and short, bitten nails. There’s something comforting there too. How different they can be, but how well they fit together. Alec has a moment of feeling like they were made to fit together. It might be stupid, it brings a blush to his cheeks, but a warm feeling settles in his stomach at the thought. He likes that.


ONE DAY by @magnusragnor​ [ T | 1.3k | complete ]

“Do you -” Alec started, hissing his teeth in pain and looking up at Magnus. “Do you have any more of that free of charge warlock TLC?”

“What are you -?” Magnus asked, before the memory hit him full force and he tried not to laugh, because Alec was hurt, god damn it. But Alec was smiling up at him and his eyes were shining bright full of hope and love, so Magnus leaned down and kissed him.


MORNINGS LIKE THIS by @softmagnusbane​ [ G | 1.1k | complete ]

Alec feels all his love for the man in his arms bubble up to the surface looking at him like this. Sleep rumpled and peaceful, his hair is a soft mess that Alec almost can’t wait to run his fingers through when Magnus wakes up, his lips so kissable and slightly open. There is nothing better in this world than being able to wake up to this he thinks idly.


PLAYING WITH FIRE by Obsessivecompulsivereadr [ M | 3k | complete ]

Alec’s breath catches nearly every time he looks at Magnus, and it happens even during times they haven’t been on an official date. But tonight is different. Magnus isn’t his sedate and dignified self right now. He’s back to being flirty and relaxed, and he looks so good that Alec can’t stop thinking about touching him.


SO BRIGHT by @lemonoclefox [ G | 17.5k | complete ]

Alec has come out, but that doesn’t stop his parents from their continuous attempts to set him up with a nice shadowhunter girl. So, what better way to finally get them off his back, than to say he has a boyfriend? Problem solved. Except they now apparently want to meet this guy, who doesn’t exist. Thankfully, Magnus Bane – who encouraged Alec to come out in the first place, and whose silent crush on Alec is just as bad as Alec’s crush on him – is more than happy to help. Even if the night doesn’t end up going entirely as planned.


SLOW ME DOWN FOR A MINUTE by @abloodneed​ [ E | 7k | complete ]

They stared at each other for a moment, each beat of Magnus’s heart seeming to thicken the air again, pulling them back to the charged space they had fallen into on all of their dates. They’d fallen into this feeling here in the loft, out in the world, so many places where everything suddenly just felt intense and present. They were in this charged space where their bodies were saying one thing, and one thing only.

I want you so badly.


BLUE CHRISTMAS by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 1.5k | complete | Blue Steels Series #6 ]

Just a quick fic to fill in a Christmas need I have for my Blue Steel Series. Takes place between “Blue Extravagance” and the upcoming “Blue Righteousness.”
Magnus and Alec “come” together for the first time since Alec’s injury and the boys wake up for Christmas morning.


BLUE RIGHTEOUSNESS by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 41.1k | complete | Blue Steels Series #7 ]

After returning from medical leave, Detective Alexander Lightwood-Bane catches his roughest case up to date. When one of his properties, a club called Kebebasan is attacked by two gunmen, Magnus Lightwood-Bane calls the best cop he knows. During the course of the investigation, Alec discovers that this shooting isn’t an isolated incident, but the result of domestic terrorism; a group attacking what they consider to be amoral. Alec and his partner, Jace Herondale have to move quickly to stop this group before it causes wide-spread panic in the city and more loss of life.


LUNCHDATE WITH AN AFTERNOON DEBATE? by eenkhjin [ G | AU | 5.7k | complete]

Magnus Bane goes out to get lunch but comes back with a mission to prove someone wrong. Kind of…


TO LOVE A SHADOWHUNTER by Madalena [ E | 10k | complete | The Peacemaker Chronicles #1 ]

“Are you really going to risk your life for a Shadowhunter?”

Those were some of the last words that Magnus Bane had said to Dot before he stepped through his portal to his lair, protecting only the warlocks. Abandoning the rest of the Shadow World to Valentine and his Circle.

Dot wasn’t sure how long she had been under Valentine’s control, but now as she stood on Magnus’ balcony, hours after Magnus and Clary had portalled away to the Institute, to save both Shadowhunters and Downworlders, she knew something had changed.

Someone had changed him.


OBLIVION by @champagnemagnus [ T | 2.7k | complete ]

Alec stood up, keeping a careful distance and being sure to move slowly as he approached. “Magnus, I am so sorry. For everything you had to go through.”

Magnus’ eyes never moved from the spot on the floor he was staring at. He shook his head slightly, eyebrows furrowed deeply. “That agony rune…” He paused, taking a moment to swallow. His face was drawn in so much pain that Alec had to look away for a moment. He immediately punished himself by digging his fingernails into his palm. It was selfish to worry about his pain. He had certainly inflicted more than enough on Magnus that he had to atone for. “Made me remember things that I spent…centuries trying to forget.”


ONE SHOW ONLY by @gingersnapwolves [ E | AU | 29.4k | complete ]

It’s hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner … but Alec will be damned if he isn’t going to give it a try.


THE RED BUTTON by @ketzwrites [ M | AU | 38k | complete ]

After one black out too many, Ragnor and Catarina had enough of Magnus trying to drink himself to an early grave. It was time for an intervention and they had the perfect place in mind: The Institute, the best rehabilitation installation in the New York state.

Only Magnus wasn’t exactly asked for his opinion on the matter. And if there is something Magnus doesn’t like, is to be forced into something.

Maybe the Head of the Institute, Alec Lightwood, is enough of an argument to chance his mind?

Do you ever shut up?

Desc: Richie Tozier is notorious for having the worlds biggest crush on Y/N, Bill’s older sister. The only problem was the fact that Y/N was in an exclusive relationship with Henry Bowers. Push comes to shove rapidly and soon Y/N is kidnapped by the one and only Pennywise, will they get to her in time?

Pairing: Reader/Richie Tozier

Warning: Harsh language, mentions of sex.


Do you ever shut up?

It was no secret that Richie liked Y/N, everyone knew and no one really cared. In all honestly they simply expected it to be puppy love, something he would outgrow once he saw another hot girl wandering around innocently. But, what they didn’t know was that it wasn’t just puppy love to him. It was more like infatuation, a craving, actual love. Unfortunately, Y/N was off limits, as Bill had said numerous times. That, and she didn’t really think Richie’s jokes were very funny either. She actually found them to be rather rude, ignorant even, but she let it slide. He wasn’t hurting anyone, she didn’t think.

She knew well that Henry Bowers, her exclusive boyfriend, wasn’t the best person in the world. He wasn’t a saint, but who was? Y/N knew that everyone deserved a chance to change, a chance to be happy. But, Henry never seemed to change his ways, he was still the school bully who had children cowering when he walked by, and Y/N was known throughout the school as ‘Henry Bowers Girlfriend.’ She was certain they never called her by name.

It was either that, or ‘Stuttering Bill’s sister’ or even perhaps, 'Georgie Denbrough’s sister, the kid who died.’ Really this had grown to make Y/N very uncomfortable. She was her own person, not just Bill and Georgie’s sister, not just Henry Bowers girlfriend.

*

At this current moment in time, Y/N was saying her goodbyes to the losers’, having to go home and help her mother with dinner and cleaning for a bit (she was certain it was Bill’s turn, but he argued against it.)

“I’ll buh-be home in a fuh-few hours.” Bill said, as Y/N waved them off and left to go home, fixing her hair as she walked.

”She really looks good from the back, and the front.“ Richie stated, adjusting his large glasses on his nose. This remark didn’t go unnoticed, a series of groans and eyerolls took over for the moment before Beverly stepped in to break the silence.

“Beep beep, Richie.” She said rather sternly, leaning back in her seat, she was rather annoyed at the inappropriate comment but definitely not as annoyed as Bill.

“T-that’s my sister, idiot. Duh-don’t talk about her l-like that.“ Bill stated blandly, clearly uncomfortable with the comment himself, and certain that Y/N would ultimately destroy Richie for a comment like that.

”It’s not my fault she’s hot…“ He paused for a moment, as if thinking it over before starting to speak again. ”And kind, and funny, and sweet, and—“ he was cut off by Stan talking over him.

”Dude, do you actually like her?“ Stan spoke, his voice slightly deeper than the other losers’, which they just expected it was because he was a little older than them.

Richie hadn’t noticed the opened-mouthed gazes that were trained to his face and the wide eyes searching for a hint of a lie. But Richie wasn’t lying. He really did think all those things about Y/N, but he knew the Henry would literally kill him for saying any of it.

“Do you ah-actually like my s-sister, Trashmouth?” Bill asked in utter astonishment, causing Richie to sink into his seat in embarrassment and shrug a little.

*

It had been three or four days since the losers’ realised that Richie wasn’t just chasing Y/N for her looks and since then it had been tense in the group everytime the two were together. Y/N didn’t really understand why everyone was so quiet whilst they were out, walking along the river bank in the mid afternoon sun. Beverly and Y/N had been talking, but it was low, almost like a whisper as they spoke as if the others would be mortified at their conversation.

It didn’t take long before they had ran into Henry and his group, minus Patrick who had been missing for several days. This utterly let to a panic within the losers’ but they seemed to remain calm, all of which were rather frightened besides Y/N.

“Hey Losers’, if you’re trying to get into her pants–” he stopped speaking to point a finger in Beverly’s direction, Y/N falling unnoticed, “All you have to do is ask nicely like I did.” He spoke with a wicked grin on his face, like something straight out of a thriller movie.

It was clear that the remark hit Beverly hard, but it hit Y/N equally as hard when she realised what he had said. In a fit of rage, Y/N picked up the biggest rock she could find and flung it as hard as she could. Her throw coming out rather well, hitting Henry on the forehead with enough force to draw blood.

“What the fuck!?” Henrys voice sounded from across the new-found battlefield as he chucked another rock back at her but failed to hit her or do any serious damage to anyone else.

”Rock War!“ sounded out from the losers’ side of the river as sudden airborne rocks were flying back and forth.

Even in this instance, Y/N felt like she was having the time of her life. She didn’t really care that after this her and Henry would be over for good, in fact she was incredibly happy about that. A smile spread over her face, even when a rock hit her painfully in the side. She had no idea how her and Bill would explain the deep purple bruises to their parents later, but she didn’t care anymore. This felt like a new beginning to her, she felt more welcome with the losers’ than she ever had with Henrys obnoxious clique.

She felt alive!

Once the final rocks were thrown, Henrys gang started to back up a bit, having suffered the most.

“Yeah! That’s right! Fuck off and go back to blowing your dad!“ Richie shouted from their spot a few meters away. There was a silence for a moment.

“And stay away from my girl!” He finished with, and Y/N didn’t care a single bit.

*

The bruises took several days to heal, turning from purple to a bluish shade, to a deep red and vanishing entirely. Y/N and Bill had been interrogated by their parents once they got home, but they simply smiled at each other and answered with blatant lies. Once their parents had bought it, the siblings it would be best to stay inside till the bruises healed once and for all.

Y/N sat by the window, the rain pattering against the glass in an almost rhythmic pattern. Her fingers followed the small drops as they raced down the glass, and she rested her head against the cool window. Looking out into the street she was almost certain she had seen a flash of yellow and red running by, and when she looked again she found herself staring at a small newspaper boat, with ’S.S Georgie’ scrawled messily along the side. Tied to it floated a red balloon which carried it with ease down the street as a little boy ran after it in a yellow slicker and red galoshes.

Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes, a sense of delight washing over her as she pulled on her fushia coloured rain coat and ran outside, slamming the door behind herself and chased the small boy down the street, calling out 'Georgie? Georgie!’ every time she got the chance. Deep down, a small part of her understood that Georgie wasn’t actually coming home, that he was almost definitely killed. But, she couldn’t help with hope and pray to God that this was Georgie by some convenience.

She ran after the child with every inch of energy in her body but he always seemed just out of reach, that was until she rounded the corner and came face to face with something she dreaded the most. A clown. A clown with a twisted grin on his makeup clad face. She suppressed a scream, her hand to her mouth and her teeth digging into the side of her pale skin. She noticed the one-armed boy standing behind the clown with his boat in his hands and recognised him as her brother. And then everything went black.

*

She awoke soon after, still face to face with the God-awful clown that she hated ever so much, yet this time there was no Georgie and this didn’t seem like the upper ground of Derry anymore. In fact, it seemed more like the sewers, and her suspicion didn’t go astray. She was shaking, her hands and knees trembling and her bottom lip quivering as if holding back tears, but she slapped on a confident expression.

“Why are you doing this?” She cried out at last, only to be met with a bizarre smile and a finger pressed to the clowns lips. She stopped speaking just long enough to hear the thudding of someone walking along the sewer pipes, then it came to sound like a group of people.

Y/N wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and tell them to go back and leave her here. To save themselves from their independent doom, but she couldn’t. She simply found herself in an utter trance, staring into the clowns eyes, that was until the losers’ burst into the sewer baring what seemed to be weapons of some sort or another.

“Fucking clowns..” Richie spoke through gritted teeth before they each took their fair share of clown beating till the monster clawed its way away from them, leaving Y/N dazed and confused before spotting the rather bloody, bruised, and ridiculous looking group of teenagers.

Y/N had never been so pleased, she ran forward and incased Bill in the worlds tightest hug, muttering apologies and thank you’s for what seemed like forever.

“Hey! I was the one who figured out where you were and what had happened.” Richie fummed unhappily, rather jealous that he didn’t receive the same attention as her brother did.

“Well then thank you too, Trashmouth.” Y/N laughed as she pulled him into an equally tight hug, an endless smile on her face.

“Really it was nothing, could have…would have done it anyday for you Y/N, It wasn’t that big a deal I mean anyone could have done it–” Richie proceeded to boast, gaining a playful eyeroll from Y/N.

“Beep beep Richie.” She stated simply, gaining a strange look from Richie before she pressed her lips to his, and for a moment Richie could have sworn his heart completely stopped.

Once she had pulled away, both were red faced and flustered, though Richie was so close to passing out it was almost unreal. He simply couldn’t say another word besides 'Awesome!’, and honestly Y/N was sure everyone else in the room groaned in annoyance at the sudden display of affection.

Y/N couldn’t have been happier.


{For the lovely Anon who sent me four different asks with so much detail, I absolutely loved writing this!

I hope this is good enough for you! Please keep in mind I haven’t proof read it so there may be some grammar or spelling mistakes throughout, I’m so very sorry. Also, I’m not sure how long it is, so I apologise if it’s too short!}

100 reasons to love Haechan
  1. his voice is so sweet oh my god
  2. how he has two sides to him and they’re both so Good (joking prankster vs super caring member)
  3. he’s so witty?? my quick boy
  4. king of concepts like he can pull off literally everything
  5. how proud he is of his skin like!!!! he’s glowing and he k n o w s
  6. idk if it’s talked about often but you can tell how much he loves dancing honestly and i love it a lot
  7. his english when he sings or speaks in english
  8. yaja time!haechan
  9. his performance face vs his general resting face/demeanor are worlds apart and i love it so much
  10. HAECHAN SORRY SORRY FANCAM
  11. his neck mole is so cute… 
  12. …and the scar above his right eye, too
  13. all of his moles actually they’re beautiful
  14. he’s proud of his legs and i’m glad like!! he’s so body positive about himself it makes my heart happy
  15. nct’s main visual
  16. sherlock!haechan was legendary 
  17. when they surprised jisung for his birthday and he started crying and haechan and mark immediately went to him to cheer him up..i think about that everyday
  18. the time on mySMT when they all had to smile and he looked at the camera and smiled SO WIDELY my heart was so full when i watched it
  19. pianist!haechan he loves the instrument you can tell
  20. the 19 second recording of baby don’t like it that he sang on NNN
  21. his affinity for bucket hats. can he see with that over his eyes? probably not but it’s okay because we can see how good he looks
  22. his freestyle in his boy video! look at my talented ult
  23. that time on NCT life where he put salt into everyone’s sprite and i think soy sauce into everyone’s coke #prankd
  24. when 127 was on nimdle and answering questions about each other and he asked the members if they knew what body part he’s proudest of and mark went “birdlike chest” or something along those lines and haechan made as if to punch him
  25. he just really loves monster by exo
  26. the almost tangible difference between nct dream haechan and nct 127 haechan
  27. i love his given name btw, lee donghyuck is such a nice name too??
  28. he’s so good at cooking 
  29. mark changed his laugh after being around haechan so much that’s #bffgoals
  30. that time he dressed up as a girl and ended up falling for yuta because..i
  31. his general love for taeyong’s face. like taeyong’s his aesthetic
  32. BOOMING SYSTEM U-UP, TY TRACK, TY TRACK
  33. pink hair pink hair pink hair pink hair (we young) (it looks s o g o o d)
  34. his role is moodmaker in dream and like!! he’s so proud of it i’m so glad
  35. when they had that “All about Dream” special or whatever and he was sucking up to the teacher lol
  36. he and jeno #prankd jisung by changing his ipad wallpaper to a cockroach #ripjisung2k17
  37. his michael jackson impressions are actually LEGENDARY
  38. his opening line in “heartbreaker” 
  39. that one line in Back 2 U that saved literally everyone’s lives (the one after doyoung’s towards the end of the song)
  40. king of 127′s backing vocals. listen to baby don’t like it stripped down. you will cry
  41. his solo dance in cherry bomb
  42. that one time he #prankd mark by acting like seulgi during the smrookies period
  43. i really like listening to him just speak btw like his voice in general is kind of teasing and just nice i really love it a lot
  44. idk if ive mentioned it but his laugh also just!!! pure!!!
  45. king of girl group choreo…king of boy group choreo…king of choreo
  46. “gimme that gimme that ice cream” 
  47. used to mess with his grandma’s makeup when he was younger 
  48. honestly just all of nct life in paju because haechan was so iconic in it like that soccer game oh my god and not to mention snack time and his failed karaoke that was so bad they never showed it and his god tier breakfast the last morning like wow
  49. when he and mark missed that nct life entertainment retreat because of schedules and chenle and jisung roasted them and haechan was like “when i get back you’re dead”
  50. his high note after mark’s “show them how we do it” in playboy
  51. haechan in headbands is a Look
  52. that one meme video with chenle, jeno, haechan, and that stick (i never found subs so i don’t…know what happened in that video)
  53. haechan looks really good in button down shirts…he’s unreal…born to be famous
  54. the harper’s bazaar shoot
  55. him and mark’s handshake has stayed the extra same in all aspects (include level of extraness <3) since predebut days
  56. “swag”
  57. KING OF WEARING CONTACTS
  58. he’s the entire universe in himself - his eyes sparkle like a thousand stars and looking at him is like looking straight at the sun and just wow
  59. whenever he tries to keep his laughter in he makes The Face and i love it
  60. when performing live he sounds like he ate the record for breakfast he’s that good
  61. he lisps and it’s the best thing to happen to me
  62. the ivy club photoshoot. just.
  63. he pulls off like.. everything from like massive sweaters and denim shorts to full like blazer/slacks/dress shirt like…wow
  64. airport fashion on point
  65. bought a radio because jaehyun and johnny host a radio show
  66. HAECHAN FOR SUPERCOMMA B
  67. haechan + confetti = name a more iconic duo
  68. the shape of his lips is so nice?? wow
  69. his nose too!!! perfect
  70. his teeth are like perfect too like so..nice looking idk
  71. that time where he gave no fucks and took off the heavy ass jacket and threw it to the side during that performance of cherry bomb because he knows what’s Good For Him
  72. the taste the feeling cf 
  73. the camera Look with The Eyebrows
  74. that iconic duet with guitarist!jeno of love yourself by justin bieber
  75. that expression/laugh he did that time he was going to do scissors during That Move in MFAL so he could win against mark but jisung thwarted his plans and mark played rock and haechan got roasted af onstage
  76. i know ive mentioned his dancing before but hes SO SMOOTh his moves are EFFORTLESS
  77. he looks A1 in denim jackets
  78. when he acts cute to get what he wants
  79. looks so excited and happy at fanmeets
  80. apparently he’s really touchy with the members and stuff that’s adorable
  81. never shows how sensitive he can be and tries to make everyone laugh
  82. his head tilt!! you know the one
  83. when he tries to get other members to talk on air (especially with the dreamies)
  84. is a member of the powerful af SM ‘00 line
  85. when nct dream tried to do that let’s dance and haechan kept messing them up because he wanted to dance to the other groups
  86. when he pretended to be a mime
  87. he danced to russian roulette and it was absolutely amazing
  88. his resting face is kind of “bored looking” so when he goes from resting to being really engaged it’s like a flipped switch i love it so much
  89. the cover of billionaire he and mark did predebut
  90. how he puts his hand on yuta’s shoulder to steady himself during the split move in cherry bomb
  91. the way he looks in a basketball uniform (credit: @whoisyuta )
  92. he puts his whole soul into his voice
  93. his vocal range is ridiculously versatile
  94. i love his wrists?? is it just me they’re so pretty maybe i’m going crazy lol but like watches and bracelets and stuff.nice
  95. the cherry bomb outfit with the black sweater and camo pants and camo jacket tied at the waist he !! wow
  96. when he wears glasses!!
  97. hes so young and he still keeps up with all the 127 members and works hard with them and does 12 hour dance practices with them like what a legend
  98. when his members do embarrassing things on air he buries his face in his hands out of secondhand embarrassment like…me too
  99. king of promoting other sm groups
  100. he just puts his all into everything and works so hard and deserves the world and!!!! wow just wow. an angel. an ethereal empyrean individual

I don’t even know where to begin, if you had said to me last month I was going to meet Taylor Swift in October I would of called you crazy 😂 I just can’t believe this photo actually exists, I’m so grateful to have been invited to the secret session it was seriously the best night of my life and I will always cherish it 💛 I finally got to meet my idol, the person I have looked up to since 2008, she was exactly as I knew she would be, kind, humble, funny, generous, gorgeous and so much more 💖. She was so kind to me and instantly recognised me as soon as I walked through the door “Morgennnn I’m so glad you could make it” I will never forget those words, I never thought she actually knew who Is was but Taylor proved me wrong ☺️. She also told me she always associates me with the flower crown filter which I died when she told me as all my friends of hers call me “flower king” because of that 😂 I fell in love with her in 2008 and met her in 2017. Last month I was in a dark place, I had my first heartbreak I felt so lost and depressed for a long time but as soon as I received that message from Taylor Nation everything changed. Someone once told me that with every low comes a high and this is definitely that because I have never felt this happy in my life and will never stop thinking about it😊

Taylor thank you so much for inviting me into your home( which is beautiful btw) to hangout with you for a night and listen to Reputation early, which I am gonna say again is the best album you have created you have put your heart and soul into this album and just looked so happy when listening to it with us and just throughout the whole night, I’m just so happy for you ♥️ I cannot wait for everyone to hear Reputation and also can’t wait for you to win album of the year for the third time when the Grammys come around 😌 it’s gonna happen and I am so ready for it! And finally thank you so much for the friendships I have made from the Secret Sessions, I finally got to meet @ethereal-swiftness and @taylorsparklingswift who i had been friends with before the event, it was such a great surprise to see them and to freak out together throughout the whole night with 😄 Also I’m sorry for kinda freezing like a statue when meeting I was so awkward and just overwhelmed that all the thing I wanted to say to you I forgot to speak to you about and I didn’t even ask for a picture with just me and you which I kinda best myself up about as they were personal things I wanted to thank you for but I’m gonna make a post with all those things so please if it made by the fine you read this look on my blog for it it would mean so much to me if you knew.

Thank you so much again Taylor for everything. I love you so much Taylor it was truly enchanting to meet you, the memories of October 13 will stay with me forever, see you on tour!

Love from your Scottish Swiftie


Morgen 😘🌷🌺

The King of Hawkins Goes Soft

Summary: The reader helps chaperone the winter formal, which leads to a very eventful night involving the King of Hawkins. 

Word Count: 2648

Song Pairing: Talking in your Sleep- the romantics https://youtu.be/PtxiZItyYh8

authors note: kinda spoilers for season two? This also doesn’t 100% follow the plot! I had SO much fun writing this!! Let me know what you think!! (single mom Steve is the best Steve)


You smiled to yourself watching the event unfold. Steve was giving some version of a pep talk to Dustin before the winter formal, and you laughed as you saw the deal sealed with a handshake.

Dustin walked by you with a huge grin, “Hey (y/n)!”. He saluted you, and you saluted back matching his grin. You winked, “Good luck tonight soldier”.

By now Steve had parked his car, and was resting against the hood. You walked over to him, “What are you doing here? Hate to break it to ya but you’re a little too old-”.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, laughing while shaking his head. He smiled, “I gotta keep an eye on the little shits”.

Keep reading

“Maybe there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends - Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.” - Stephen King, It. 

A small redraw of my favourite shot from the movie 

Pretend | Park Chanyeol

Link to Masterlist

Royalty AU | Arranged Marriage AU | Slight Angst 

Summary: You’re unsure but hopeful about your arranged marriage to the handsome Prince Chanyeol of the neighboring kingdom. But you’re in for an unpleasant surprise when you find out he’s in love with someone else, and completely despises the idea of being married to you. 

Word Count : About 5.5k (i don’t know how this got so long)


A/N: I was originally considering making this a series because it’s so long, but I think it works as a super-long oneshot? I do hope you enjoy this, it’s probably the most ambitious thing I’ve attempted to write :) 


“Are you ready, your Highness?”

“I will be in just a minute!” you said, as your lady-in-waiting, Lily, gently placed the delicate tiara on your carefully styled up hair. You took a deep breath and stared at your reflection in the mirror.

“You look absolutely radiant, Princess,” she said, smiling. “I’m sure Prince Chanyeol will be swept off his feet with one look at you.”

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Loki Imagine - Kneel

This takes place during Odin’s sleep when Loki was king. Warning: Smut!

Originally posted by the-lokis-queen

Your P.O.V.

Something was going on here on Asgard. A bad feeling had taken place in me and I felt nervous without a reason. So I walked around the streets, eyeing everyone who walked past me. The people didn’t seem suspicious. Yes, some of them were a little tense but I wasn’t sure why. 

After walking around until it was dark, I was stopped by two royal guards. I saw the bright yellow of their capes and it caught my attention. ‘’King Loki needs to speak with you’’ One of them informed me which had surprised me. Not because Loki wanted to see me, we were great friends. I was surprised as they called him a king.

Out of shock I had been silent. Had Odin died? Was that the reason for my bad gut feeling?

I let the guards take me to the golden palace. As we walked there, I felt the knot in my stomach growing tighter. For the first time in a while, I was nervous to meet Loki. Was he alright? What the hell was happening behind the closed doors?

The throne room was only lit by flames as I finally made my way there. The guards stopped by their spots, allowing me to walk further inside by myself. I was a familiar face here, since both Thor and Loki had been my friends as we grew up. I had slowly become more attached to Loki and the last few times we’ve met, it had gotten quite heated, if that’s what you could describe it as.

I reached the throne, shocked as I saw absolutely no guards. My eyes directed at Loki who sat on the throne. My eyes widened by the sight. He was wearing his black and green suit, his golden head piece and he held a golden spear. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t look good up there.

‘‘I’ve been waiting for you, Y/N’‘ Loki broke the silence between us. He had a mischievous smile on his beautifully sculptured face. The way he spoke made my heart skip a beat. ‘‘King Loki’‘ I breathed out, enjoying the taste of the words in my mouth. Loki’s smile faded and suddenly he leaned against his big hand, looking at me very intensely. The dark look in his pretty emerald eyes sent shivers down my spine. 

‘‘Come closer’‘ He encouraged me and glanced at the steps on the throne. I licked my lips, suddenly finding them dry. Then I did as told, walking towards him slowly, taking cautious steps and looking at his face. He never told me to stop and I found myself almost right in front of me. I wasn’t sure what he was doing but I liked it. He made me feel like I was on an adventure by just looking in my direction. He filled my veins with adrenaline, giving me a pleasant rush.

‘‘Kneel’‘ Loki demanded sharply, making my knees weak. I never broke eye contact as I lowered myself in front of him, kneeling for my king. He seemed pleased as I obeyed him so well. Loki loved that about us. We had discovered new sides of each other lately as our friendship had developed to this intense relationship. I had learned that he was dominating and I was surprised as I realized how submissive I was. It was a perfect combo.

‘‘You’re such a good girl, Y/N’‘ He purred happily and touched my hair with his hand, almost like he was petting me. Judging by the smug look on his face, he knew exactly what he was doing to me. My underwear was most definitely getting soaked and I felt a familiar heat between my legs.

‘’Is there anything I could do for you, your majesty?’‘ I asked him with an innocent look on my face, teasing him on purpose. I looked at his face, nearly overwhelmed by his beauty. The flames in the room illuminated his features with an orange and golden glow. Loki looked absolutely majestic as he sat on Asgard’s throne.

His gentle touch turned rough as he grabbed my hair and pulled me closer to him. I put my hands on his knees so I wouldn’t lose my balance and it seemed like it was his plan as well. ‘’You have ignored me for the past few days, why?’’ Loki wanted to know, never letting go of me. His gorgeous eyes were locked with mine and I felt like I had to tell him the truth, like his look hypnotized me.

‘‘Oh’‘ My lips curved into a smirk. ‘‘I’m sorry, I’ve been busy’‘ I revealed as little as possible. Loki narrowed his eyes and hummed deeply, probably not believing me. I nearly gulped as he examined me so closely and it didn’t help the situation between my legs at all. He made me crave for his touch just like a fish needed water. 

‘‘Naughty girl, you’re lying’‘ Loki noticed, which was good. Partly, I wanted to be caught. He seemed darker than usual, like he had anger inside of him and he hadn’t gotten anything good to think about in a while. I batted my eyelashes at him innocently, hoping he’d take this situation further.

‘‘If your mouth can’t be honest, I’ll better put it into good use’‘ He got an idea that made my body tingle from excitement. He had total control over me but I fucking loved it. He knew me so well and I knew him which made everything even better. ‘‘Are you sure? Someone can walk in’‘ I whispered and looked around the gigantic area. No one was to be seen.

‘‘Let them’‘ Loki replied sternly and then grabbed my hand, placing it on his hard crotch. My eyes widened as I felt how damn hard he was, almost like he could barely contain himself anymore. Imperceptibly, I bit my lower lip. His dick was pulsing and I felt it through the material of his clothes. ‘‘Poor thing’‘ I teased and gave him a light, playful squeeze.

Loki took a deep breath and grabbed my hair tightly. ‘’No teasing’’ He growled deeply, almost like he got even hornier. I was more than happy to help the king out. So I pushed his robe aside so I could get better access to him. I began to pull down his black pants and Loki helped me by shifting slightly. I pulled down the luxurious fabrics until I could free his hard member.

I almost cursed as I saw his dick right in front of my face. Loki had a really long dick with the perfect thickness. His tip was rosy red and there was pre-cum there, making me eager immediately. ‘’Open up’’ Loki demanded, snapping me out of my thoughts. My mouth was watering by now and I was more than happy to part my lips for him.

Loki led my face closer to him and I took the tip of his member into my mouth, slowly giving him a lick to collect the pre-cum. It tasted salty and bitter in my mouth. My hand grabbed his shaft and I took more of him inside, deciding to be a tease and take things slowly. I watched as his facial expressions changed from the stern one to a more joyful look. He inhaled a sharp breath as I circled my tongue around him, knowing exactly what he liked.

‘‘God, you are so pretty down there, my queen’‘ He rasped almost quietly but it encouraged me to make him feel good. I bobbed my head a few times so I could tease his sensitive tip but soon I wanted to go further. I pushed my head even closer to him and hollowed my cheeks, causing Loki to grunt out in pleasure. It was like music to my ears.

Loki pushed himself inside me, hitting the back of my throat each time. I breathed through my nose because my mouth was absolutely full by his enormous length. It was quite obvious he was a God like creature. He was beyond perfect.

I made sure to hollow my cheeks as he fucked my face harshly. I gagged a few times but I managed to take it. Drool began to collect at the edges of my mouth and it slid down my jaw. ‘’Mmhmm’’ I hummed as his cock was deep in my mouth. The vibrations were something Loki adored. His beautiful, pinkish lips parted and he gasped in pure pleasure. He looked amazing as he felt good.

Loki’s raven black hair got messy and a strand fell on his face beautifully. His blue-green eyes turned dark like a stormy sea and his skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat, giving him a slight glow. I pulled myself away from his cock but I yanked him off with his hand, rubbing my thumb on his tip each time I reached it. I could feel thick veins underneath my touch and the pulsating sensation as well.

‘‘I love your cock so much’‘ I admitted dirtily. Then I stuck out my tongue and dragged it along his veins. ‘‘Shit, Y/N’‘ Loki moaned harshly as he looked down, never taking his eyes off of me. I gave him a naughty look before licking his balls, knowing exactly how sensitive he was there. As my hand worked on his shaft, my mouth buried between his legs and I happily licked his most sensitive places. I kissed his shaft a few times, slowly climbing back up to his tip.

As I got to up, I took him into my mouth once again. Loki held onto my hair tightly and it hurt just the tiniest bit but I liked it. I jerked him off as I sucked his tip, whirling my tongue around him and moaning just to be extra. ‘’I’m close’’ Loki warned me, almost too loudly. I let him push my face as down as he could although it made me gag. It filled me with deep lust and excitement.

I bobbed my head with his help and I focused hard on pleasing him. His dick twitched a few times and that’s when I knew he was on the verge of spilling his load in my mouth. So I pulled my head away and took him to his edge by using my hands. I opened my mouth up wide.

‘‘Y/N- holy..’‘ Loki tried to speak but he couldn’t focus on his words. Suddenly his body tensed and the grip on me got harsher. Hot sperm flew out of him and I tried hard to catch it all in my mouth. Once again, I got a warm, salty taste in my mouth. Most of his cum landed on my tongue but some spurted on my face. I made sure to pump out each drop before I took my hand away.

I wiped the hot cum off my face with my thumb and sucked it off. Loki watched intensely as I swallowed everything, leaving nothing to waste. My jaw hurt a little bit but it was worth it. Loki was catching his breath as he was coming down his high. His cheeks got a little bit of color and he looked relieved.

‘‘Delicious’‘ I purred happily and popped my lips. Loki looked at me warmly for a while, almost happily. ‘‘Come here, darling’‘ He told me and helped me on his lap. I smiled gladly as I sat on his legs, wrapping mine around him. Then I rested my head against his as our noses touched lightly.

Loki was cool although he was sweaty. I thought he just wanted me here to sit but he had other thoughts. As I placed my lips on his, his hand traveled underneath my silky dress. My breath hitched in my throat as his skilled, long fingers touched my heat through my thin, soaked panties.

Loki broke our kiss so he could speak. ‘’My, my, is my queen aroused?’’ Loki chuckled quietly, his breath landing on my lips. My cheeks heated and I nodded, desperate for his touch that never left me disappointed.

He teased me by stroking his fingers against my slit. I gulped and realized I had to hold onto something. So I grabbed him by his shoulders and prepared myself for what was to come. He used his other hand to grab my jaw so I had to face him. The stern look was back on his ridiculously handsome face.

The next thing I knew was that he pushed my underwear aside and he pressed his fingers against my needy clit. A shiver ran down my spine and a wave of please hit me. Loki circled his fingers swiftly, making me melt for him. I struggled to keep quiet in here. After all, if I’d moan as loudly as in his bedroom, the entire castle would be filled with echo.

Loki used his magic and suddenly his fingertips were ice cold. The sensation of the cold meeting my hotness was blissful. I bit my lower lip harshly, drawing blood as I struggled to shut up. ‘’Don’t fight it’’ Loki whispered and I realized how darkly he was looking at me. His eyes had a shadow and his smile was vicious in a good way.

Out of the blue, Loki slid two of his long fingers inside me. That’s when I couldn’t control myself anymore. A loud moan left mouth and it echoed. My eyes widened and I tried to cover my mouth with my own hands, only to realize I couldn’t move them. Something was around my wrists. I glanced at my hands and saw handcuffs attached to chains. Loki had totally planned this!

His fingers felt incredible inside of me, rubbing against my wet walls with just the amount of pressure I craved and a little more. ‘’Oh, fuck Loki!’’ I whimpered out in awe, rocking my hips in the rhythm of his fingers. ‘’That’s right, say it again. Let everyone know who makes you feel this good’’ He growled with a raspy voice, suddenly eager to make me scream out his name.

I was in ecstasy as his fingers sunk inside of me and then pulled out, only to hit the sweet spot again and again. I attempted to drown my moans but Loki did everything in his power to make me moan as loudly as possible. A few whimpers escaped past my lips and I began to breathe sharply.

The pleasure he gave me was simply overwhelming. Loki curved his fingers inside me, only adding pressure to the spot I loved. I could feel my arousal soaking his entire hand and probably his pants as well. ‘’Oh my..’’ I gasped and gulped, happy to feel the knot in my stomach forming.

‘‘Come on dear, scream’‘ Loki whispered into my ear which caused goosebumps to appear all over my body. ‘‘It feels so good’‘ I moaned to him, wanting more but I was afraid I’d cause the guards to run inside in worry. I most certainly didn’t want to alarm anyone.

‘‘You’re close, I can feel it. You’re getting tighter’‘ Loki told me darkly. I nodded and cursed a few words underneath my breath. My brain was overpowered by the amazing feeling. As Loki finger fucked me on the throne, my wetness became evident. I could hear how much I needed him.

A smile appeared on my face as I thought about this. It was a very dirty and naughty thing to do, on the throne. But the rush it gave me was astonishing. ‘’Come on’’ Loki growled and added pressure, causing me to flinch. I squeezed his shoulders hard and gritted my teeth together.

His cold fingers hit my sweet spot hard, sending such a strong sense of pleasure through me and each time, he pushed me closer to the edge. After a few moments, I let go and felt as my orgasm approached me like a gift.

My walls clenched around his fingers and suddenly, I grew overly sensitive. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I couldn’t think for a moment. ‘’Loki! Yes..oh fuck yes’’ I screamed out his name. He seemed pleased as he accomplished that and for a while, I didn’t mind at all. Loki pulled out his fingers but it didn’t stop there.

He rubbed my pulsing clit slowly, making my entire body tremble. I flinched a couple times and tears stung my eyes because it felt so fucking amazing. ‘’You’re so gorgeous when you cum’’ Loki let me know, his words messing with my brain ever more. I focused on his fingers that made me feel like a true Goddess.

He let me ride down my orgasm before he pulled back his fingers. Then he held me on his lap, allowing me to gather myself before he’d do anything else. A few warm tears rolled down my face but they were happy tears. Loki didn’t notice until I sniffled. It caught his attention quickly.

‘‘Are you alright?’‘ He pried seriously and made me face him. I cracked a smile and nodded. The powerful orgasm had knocked me over and I was exhausted. ‘‘I’m more than alright’‘ I giggled and that made him happy. ‘‘Good. I thought I had hurt you which would never be my intention’‘ He admitted quietly and petted my hair again. I loved this. Loki was never soft to others. He was rarely like this to me but these few moments always melted my heart.

*

Author’s Note: You’re welcome! I’m going to burn in hell for this but it’s worth it :)

Dating Steve and being Joyce Byers’ Daughter

Request:headcanons for being joyce byers’ daughter (middle kid so jonathan is Protective™) dating steve?

A/N: hope you’ll like it babe xx

Originally posted by dailytelevision

• oh how you would glance at him every single time Steve passed by you
• he was older, cooler, he was the king of the school
• And you were the Byers middle kid
• but he helped you with your books once and your heart melted
• and one day he flirted with you non stop, making you blush but reply sassily
• after the weekend it seemed like he forgot all of that and that made your heart break
• of course he wouldn’t like you
• you’re just a little girl and he’s King Steve
• you try to forget about your stupid crush on him
• but then your little brother goes missing and the Hawkins Lab is actually a place with another dimension after it
• and suddenly Steve comes by your house more often
• but always with Nancy by his side
• you couldn’t say you were friends with Nancy but you got along and you said hi to each other
• so when your brother goes with Nancy in the woods to “ set a trap”
• ( of course you weren’t allowed. The only thing you were allowed to do was breathing. Joking)
• he left you alone in the house
• And guess who came by
• Steve Harrington himself
• “ Nancy isn’t here and neither is Jonathan”
• “ who said I’m here to see them , princess?”
• You rolled your eyes and shut the door in his face and went to your room
• and again, guess who climbed on your window?
• Steve Harrington himself
• “ I don’t care what you say. I want to talk to you.”
• you gave him a skeptical look
• “ are you ok? I know it’s a stupid question because of all the things with Will but everytime I come by I feel like you don’t want me here at all.”
• “ you punched my brother. And I’m good. Why are you so interested about that?”
• and whoops he kissed you and you kissed back
• he started to make awful love declarations
• and you giggled and gave him a chance because again he’s King Steve
• And so it starts
• At first you guys are hiding ( especially from Jonathan)
• But really everyone noticed the lingering stares and the obvious “ subtle kisses “ behind the bleachers
• and one day Jonathan is taking photos
• just after you found Will and you guys went out to celebrate
• you’re waiting with Will to the hot dog stand to get something to eat
• And suddenly Steve comes behind you and kisses your cheek
• Little poor Will is shook
• he just stands there awkwardly and smiles
• But Jonathan comes fuming and almost punches Steve
• “ stay away from my sister”
• “ Jonathan..stop”
• “ you? You agreed to be with? With him?”
• “ no dumbass. He’s just my boy toy of course I did”
• “ Will.. let’s go home.”
• “ wait no hey! Wait!”
• “ Ooops”
• “ Steve shut up or I’ll kill you”
• Jonathan giving you the birds and bees speech back at home
• And telling you he supports you but he’ll break his neck if he does anything wrong
• And from now on everything is a bit cooler
• But there’s still a tension between them
• you guys would go as Bonnie and Clyde for Halloween
• Christmas together and being happy
• parenting the children with him and seeing him give awful advice to Dustin
• “ don’t trust him girls love a sweet guy.”
• “ just don’t care Dustin. Don’t.”
• you’re dancing with Dustin at the Snow Ball
• skipping school with Steve sometimes
• Assuring him he is a great boyfriend
• Uh ok but neck kisses and him scaring you are a must
• And you would drive in his car with music on and just forget about the world
• While Johnathan is still bitter
• You and Nancy becoming friends because guess who’s dating your older brother
• you becoming quite a group
• gushing about your boyfriends
• Your mom would be both happy and angry
• “ I heard things about him you know. But he’s such a kind soul from what I’ve seen.”
• “ yeah he is.”

The Heiman Rant

It’s plainly obvious. Heiman is a toxic relationship. 

Heidi and Cartman were built on false pretenses, and therefore doomed to fail. Cartman’s a bad boyfriend. He’s terrible to her. We all want it to end.

But I think in our rush to see this bad thing that made us all so uncomfortable be done with, for it all to just go away, we forget what this relationship was like before it all went sour.

In our need to see Cartman return to his normal self, we never really stopped to look at his relationship with Heidi. How it functioned. We all just said, “bad. fake.” and waited for it to end.

I don’t know HOW many times I’ve heard “Cartman is incapable of being in a relationship unless he’s controlling the person, and Heiman proves that.” And that just bugged me. And I realized why.

Because Cartman WAS in a good relationship. And to start off with, it was a shaky foundation, sure, but nonetheless, he proved that he CAN be a kind, supportive person. 

In season 20 one of their biggest strengths as a couple was communication. They’d tell each other their plans, their hopes and dreams, even their worries. And it worked like a functional relationship. Cartman was relaxed. He hardly stressed out about anything. Hell, he didn’t even get mad when Kyle reminded him of the confrontation that alienated him from the group he was a part of. It was just so far out of his mind that he didn’t care. He was in a good place. And he would do anything to conserve that.

The Mars analogy in season 20 is symbolic of his relationship. A completely alien world to him, but one to make his own. He feels like he’s walking on air, and he’s mesmerized. 

And it’s not as if this relationship only benefited Cartman. Heidi was encouraged to realize how smart she was.

Whenever she was discouraged, Cartman told her it was unwarranted. To “get over” herself, which is a perfectly sound piece of advice. Her doubt was the only thing standing in her way. In the end she realized she was so smart that she could help a fucking space program create a massive amount of energy. 

It was a mutually beneficial relationship.

However, I do want to say that I personally believe this relationship was doomed to fail. simply because, as we see in Cartman’s Mars vision, Heidi is MILES away from Cartman. He doesn’t feel legitimately close to her, and that would’ve surfaced without anyone’s interference. 

 So let’s dive a little deeper in. Let’s ask the most obvious of questions.

What does Cartman think of relationships? 

 I’m sure most people would say “He thinks partners are supposed to be like Alexa.” 

But the answer is actually directly given to us, way back in season 16. 

In an earlier post I explain that Cupid Me is a manifestation of what Cartman considers love. 

Cartman tells cupid me that he believes in him, and that love can change everything. Very strong feelings about love.  

A bit surprising from Cartman, huh? But before the naysayers start insisting that “Cartman Finds Love was out of character!!!” I should tell you that Cartman has consistently admired the concept of love throughout other episodes

 In The Ring when Kenny gets with a girl named Tammy Warner, Cartman is invested in Kenny’s relationship and comments on how it’s “kind of beautiful.”

 In Tweek x Craig he is so invested in their relationship that he fantasizes about assisting them when they need it. In “Where My Country Gone?” he encourages Butters to pull a Lion King 2, while having an affectionate expression while Butters wooes Charlotte. 

 It’s entirely consistent that Cartman loves the concept of love and has specific ideals of what those should be. And it’s NOT an Alexa. Ironically he does ask Alexa what love is, which is sad to say the least. But he does understand at the end of that episode that what he has with Heidi isn’t love. 

But the point is, back when he thought he loved Heidi, he was pretty damn good at expressing it. 

Compliments.

Patience. 

Positivity, 

Support, 

Cooperation, 

and most of all, communication. 

 If Cartman is so incapable of showing love to anything unless he has complete control over it, how and why did he do that FOR AN ENTIRE SEASON? I mean seriously people. It’s not like he was possessed. He wasn’t being threatened. He genuinely believed he loved Heidi, and he had no problems spending time with her. Because he WANTED to.

And what he gave Heidi was probably one of the best relationships you can get as a 4th grader. I mean compare it to any other relationship we’ve seen on south park. Heiman – despite being obnoxious to those who know the “real Cartman,” – is easily the best a 4th grade boy has treated a 4th grade girl in this series. EASILY. It’s no wonder we see Heidi in the 21st season so desperately wanting her Cartman back.

That is – her reflection back. 

Because as cupid me says, “People who are the same belong together,” right? So that’s what Cartman did. Cartman and Heidi were polar opposites. So in order for Heidi and Cartman to work, Cartman became like her. 

Don’t get it twisted, this doesn’t mean he was lying about believing he liked her. It doesn’t mean he’s “faking” because he’s “manipulating her into liking him.” Everyone does this. Everyone in a relationship mimics their partner to some extent. Because the more we admire someone, the more we find ourselves taking on their qualities. Their laughs, their nervous habits, their interests, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Cartman’s reason for taking on her traits isn’t all involuntary though. You can see several times where Cartman gets shifty eyed, that he’s putting on a front. But the front is genuinely for the sake of conserving the relationship. 

And, for the record, the fact that when talking to Butters Cartman continues to put on his soft-spoken, well-mannered demeanor that he finds it admirable in Heidi. Note the shift in his voice. 

He wants that demeanor from Heidi because he believes it’s part of what makes her so likable. 

In this relationship, Heidi is the one being imitated because she’s the one being admired. She is the one making actions, and Cartman is the making reactions.  And in turn, she is functionally the one in control. Cartman takes control and pushes her to do things, it’s just in his nature to be assertive, but he too understands that when it’s all said and done, her whims are the deciding factor in the relationship.

And, he understands that if he wanted any semblance of a shot with this likable person, he couldn’t act like himself. When Kyle talks about “the old Cartman,” Cartman fidgets and takes a sip of his drink, subtly hiding his anxiousness that Kyle would even mention that in front of Heidi. Then he continuously changes the subject to distract Kyle. 

And this is where it all starts to go to shit.

Kyle is the first person to create/quicken the downfall of Cartman’s relationship (because of course he is.). When Kyle threatens to expose the meanest parts of Cartman’s personality, Cartman panics. 

We know now that if Heidi did see those things Cartman said their relationship could have easily recovered. Her patience with him is unmatched. It’s interesting that Cartman placed Heidi in such high regard that he thought her knowing he criticized a group of women would fuck him over. 

Shame is definitely not a new thing for Cartman, but shame towards his entire personality is. Cartman is so terrified of losing the relationship that he won’t risk being himself. He knows he’s lucky as fuck to have her, so much that he tries to go to a whole other god damn planet just to keep them together.

And what’s interesting about this is that the whole time, even though he’s lying, he still puts the care and effort into talking and expressing his feelings to Heidi. He doesn’t want her to worry, but to some extent, he can’t help but open up to her.

And this might seem like a minor thing, since he’s still lying to her and all, but it’s a polar opposite to his distance and refusal to communicate in season 21.

This is why I insist that the amount of heart that Cartman put into the relationship before shit hit the fan is praiseworthy. He’s putting effort and care into someone like he’s never done before. And it’s amazing.

And then Butters came along with a dialogue. 

The truth is girls hate us, Eric. They’re sick of our shit. And one day, they plan to make us obsolete, stick us underground where we just get milked for our semen. Boys’ only hope is to start over on Mars.

Which matched Cartman’s initial dialogue. 

The icing on the cake is, Butters also predicted that Heidi was doing all this to fuck him over.

That’s how it ends, Eric. Girls get you to feel for them, make you think they’re the best thing in the world, and then they leave, move on to the next thing; and you’re left there crying, with your heart covered in poop.

And for Cartman, who secretly glorifies and holds in such high regard – love – this resonates with him. Because his self-esteem is actually garbage. He knows he will never be with anyone, because he’s him.

In that sense, is it really so far fetched for Cartman to believe that Heidi was just playing an elaborate trick on him?

But Cartman, so genuinely enamored with Heidi, fights this initially. 

That is Cartman’s test. In order to prove to everybody (to himself) that Heidi is in fact, not tricking him, she must be smart and funny, which he believes she is. 

This of course, makes him nervous. He doesn’t want to believe that what he thinks about Heidi isn’t based in reality. Because to him, that would mean that Heidi is tricking him.

Cartman genuinely believes that Heidi is smart. You can see his two reactions here of what he thinks about both of those qualities in Heidi, respectively. 

When Heidi asks if Cartman believes she’s smart, Cartman doesn’t need any time to think about it. But when she asks about being funny, you can see his brain working, trying to search his memories of when she was ever funny. 

Because he’s so enamored with her, he laughs at whenever she says something mildly goofy. But when he looks back on it, it’s never funny. It’s so not funny that he can’t remember what the joke was.

But the concept of faulty memory is thrown out the window when he realizes that nothing she said would’ve been funny in real time. 

He genuinely thought she was funny. He equated his smiles and laughs of joy to her being funny. But with the rose colored glasses off, his claim of her not manipulating him falls apart in his eyes.

So by the end of the season, when all is said and done, we of course are left with a bitter, cold Cartman, who wants nothing to do with Heidi. 

In our first impression we might’ve said that he was buying into a conspiracy that Butters sold him, and is forcing the idea that she betrayed him because he wanted to believe the conspiracy.

But that’s not what this is. 

This is Cartman convinced that no one would ever genuinely like him. That of course after all he’s done, the only reason anyone would ever be with him, under any circumstance, would be doing it simply to trick him. And everything that Heidi made him feel, like the idea that she could make him laugh by saying anything, even though it wasn’t funny, was all part of her plan to bring him high up and watch him crash to the ground. 

Not because he actually believes that women want to milk men’s semen. The smart and funny test had nothing to do with that. 

His actions now aren’t him mistreating Heidi because he just can’t help himself. He proved for an entire season that he can. His actions are out of resentment.

In s21e01 he’s simply non-confrontational. He tries to make it work at minimum capacity – minimal communication, spending very little time with her, but her nagging makes him resentful. And yes, he places himself as the victim in this situation. In his paranoid mind, he is being unresponsive to not give her the pain she wants. Because he still feels for her. (I think that’s why he can’t decide whether or not he wants to break up with her.) 

But when she pushes, he lashes out. He hates talking about this relationship he once thought was great. But at the same time, he doesn’t want it to go away. Just the status of being in a relationship makes him feel good. He feels needed. He feels trapped, in that sense, and in turn even more angry that that “bitch” is trapping him.

But really it’s him struggling with his emotions, and she happens to be caught in the middle of it.

What Cartman does to Heidi is sad, and definitely sadistic. And to him it feels justified. But at the same time, I think he still believes the statement he blurted in the midst of his panic.

In his sadistic, projecting, paranoid little head, Heidi already accomplished what she sought out to do. Lift him up and knock him down.

For that brief moment in his life, he really experienced something beautiful.

And now it’s over. 

Because he destroyed it.

I think, and I hope, for the development of his character, that he knows that.