the king of my heart and everything i want to be

I never pay much, if any, attention to my phone while at shows because I would rather live in the moment. Regardless of that, I still want to capture memories of concerts I attend without looking at my phone screen. My method is to hit record, keep my phone close and hope I catch something special. This photo being that aforementioned special moment. As the spotlight shined down on Billie Joe in front of 18,000 people during King For A Day we shared a smile, a laugh and some playful gestures. If I felt any more joy in my heart it would have exploded. Personal moments like these are why I plant myself on gross sidewalks for an ungodly amount of time and endure near hypothermia for Green Day concerts. This right here is my everything. 💚

 HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! It is not yet past midnight here (10:32 CST), but I am too tired to stay up another hour and a half so here it is! AMYPLIER!!! :3

 I know not everyone has someone special to share this day with and I’m one of them, but I love this holiday, because I like all forms of love. Also, I love all of you! I want to see you smile, listen to your stories about the day, laugh with you, and be complete trash about Youtubers! XD

 This isn’t just a holiday about making that special someone feel amazing, it’s about making yourself feel amazing. Know you are loved and you love yourself. It doesn’t have to be loving everything about you, because we all got flaws, but appreciating those as well is also another form of love. 

To my friends and the goofball I drew this for! *hugs and butterfly kisses cause I like them!*  @floatingmegane-san @lissachan504 @itsfoxyy @biscuitplier @thatonechickyoudontknow @mary-plier @captain-ass-ass @markiplier @konoira @aohoshiart @koujakuzure

Speedpaint: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGDQQF1oj5I&feature=youtu.be

Alan Rickman...

Alan Rickman, a man who has given all of us a light that we couldn’t see.

Alan Rickman, a man who gave us all hope.

Alan Rickman, a man who made us all smile, laugh, cry, scream - all at the same time.

Alan Rickman, a man who was loved by many - whether he knew it or not.

Alan Rickman, a full year has passed since your death. You blessed our lives with your amazing acting, kind heart, and wonderful personality. Thank you for everything you’ve given us. When you died, a piece of my heart died too.

Alan Rickman: 1946-2016….you are forever missed and so loved.

And Rima Horton, our hearts are with you at this difficult time. You’re in our prayers and in our hearts.

Some days I get so lonely. My thoughts convince my heart that nobody will ever want me, I won’t ever be pursued, I’m not worth anyone’s time. But then there’s this part of me that holds on. This part that assures me that all of those things are completely untrue. The Creator of the Universe wants me, He pursues me, He tells me I’m worth laying down everything for. It gets so dark up in my mind. I get scared because it’s such an isolating feeling. But He still seeks me out. He doesn’t look at me and give up or turn away from me because of my problems. He welcomes me Home with open arms and tears fall from His eyes when I finally return to His embrace. The Truth is that I don’t need a man to complete me, I need a King. And I already have Him.

Title: Love was made for Me and You(Reader x Bucky Barnes) 

Summary: The anti-Valentine’s Day reader decides to plan something special for their hopeless romantic of a boyfriend. 

Word Count: 1547

Warnings: It’s just really cute OKAY

A/N: My lil heart really can’t take a romantic Bucky but here it is anyway… I’m deceased. Here’s the song I was listening to, originally sang by Nat King Cole but I loove the Frank Sinatra version. I hope you enjoy!!

Keep reading

All For The Game

but the all for the game books? why isn’t it more widely known? why isn’t every person i meet talking about it? fuck i’d go to the point to say it’s hands down the best series i’ve read till date. i’m sorry sjm and leigh bardugo ily but nothing broke my heart like neil finding andrew in that room so helpless so uncaring. nothing compares to the complete joy i felt when andreil happened. the amazing amazing consent required for anything and everything. when neil’s team mates accepted him no matter who he was- nathaniel or neil. when neil accepted that he was neil josten- number 10, starting striker, foxhole fucking court. kevin’s strength. dan, matt, renee, allison, nicky and even aaron killed my whole heart. wymack. these characters are so imperfectly broken that i wanted to set everything and anything on fire. these kind of books change people. they are so fricking important i can’t even begin to explain. fucking thank you nora sakavic.

so i guess all i’m saying is just leave whatever you’re doing, go and read the all for the game series. and experience such intense pain that your life becomes literal hell. but it is so worth it.

Forbidden [Kim Jongin] - Part 4

Summary: What’s going to be your relationship with prince Jongin’s future wife?

Genere: Angst

Warnings: None

AU: Royals

Originally posted by intokai

With king’s words I felt my heart sank. No. It’s just impossible. It must be some kind of joke. I couldn’t believe it. He can’t get married yet. We just started everything and I don’t want it to be ruined so fast. My dream was coming true and now it shattered like a glass.

“What?” I heard Jongin’s shaked voice

I was trying to focus on their talk, but my thoughts were running around my head. Jongin is going to have a wife and when he’ll become a king, she’s going to be his queen. And it’s not going to be me. Actually, I shouldn’t expect anything else. I was only a servant. Maybe I used to be a princess, but it doesn’t change anything now.

“What ‘what’?” king snapped “You’re twenty three and you’ll soon become a king. I won’t let you take over the throne alone. You need someone to be by your side when it’s going to happen”

“I’m not ready and you know that!” Jongin exclaimed

“You are ready!” king raised his voice “You need to be”

“At least tell me who is she…”

“Lady Shin”

The one that was supposed, to wear the silver dress I was wearing at Jongin’s birthday party. I think I remember her. She had beautiful black locks, brown eyes and she was always dressed in something red. Her brother married a princess from Thulosan, but she still visited him very often. I didn’t know her very well, but she seemed really… Cold.

“Why her?” Jongin asked “She’s three years older than me”

“But she’s my friend’s daughter and I know she’ll be a good queen one day” said the king

“But I don’t want her to be my queen”

Silence filled the room. Even hiding in a wardrobe, I still could feel the tension building up in the air. I was trying to imagine what was happening there. The king and the prince eyeing each other. I thought king Doyun wasn’t used to someone disagreeing with him. Especially, not his own son.

“The decision was already made” ruler’s voice was surprisingly calm “The last thing to set is the wedding day”

“But”-

“No ‘buts’! You’re going to marry lady Shin and I don’t want to hear any objection!”

I heard heavy footsteps and then the door of Jongin’s room shut with a loud thump. My whole body was shaking. I didn’t move. I just kept looking at the ground, no words escaping my lips. He is going to marry lady Shin. Jongin is going to marry lady Shin, and I could do absolutely nothing about it. I felt tears form in my eyes. I wanted to go back in time and be a princess once more.

I saw the door in front of me opening. I looked up. Jongin was standing in front of me with a guilt on his face. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were avoiding mine. I still couldn’t say anything. One of my biggest dreams has just been destroyed with five simple words. We found you a fiancé.

I took a deep breath and walked past Jongin, my legs still shaking. Before I left the wardrobe, I felt him grabbing my wrist. I didn’t turn back to him.

“Don’t go” he whispered “Please… Not now”

“How can I stay?” I quietly asked “Knowing you’ll get married soon?

“Please… Y/N, I just-”

“We should stop if we still can” my tone was serious “Before it’s too late”

I hated it. I hated the fact that I was lying. It was too late a long time ago. Even before he told me how he felt about me. I should’ve expect it all turns out like this. He’s going to become a king soon and he needs his queen. Just like king Doyun said. Servant, like me is nobody compared to the royals.

“I can’t let you go” Jongin got closer to me “Not now. Not when it all just started”

“Do you think I want it?” I looked up at him “Do you think I want it to end?”

“I know you don’t want it too, but-”
“But we have no choice” I interrupted him

I felt his piercing gaze on me. He knew I was right. I didn’t know if he felt how desperate I was to kiss his soft lips and let him embrace me. I felt the tears forming in my eyes.

“Please, don’t cry” I heard him whisper “I can’t stand seeing you cry”

“Then I’ll just go” my voice broke down

I started to walk to the door of his room. I didn’t want it and he knew it. Damn it. I didn’t want it so badly. I lifted my hand over a handle.

“Don’t call for me or don’t ask me to serve you anything” I said without looking at him “Let’s just don’t complicate this even more”

I went out of his room. I still had a small hope that he’ll go after me. But he didn’t. I shouldn’t be upset because that’s what I wanted. I just had to leave. Tears started to stream down my face. I wanted them to stop. I didn’t want to cry after Jongin. We barely knew each other. At least that’s what I thought. He was a prince and I was a servant. That’s all. How ridiculous the whole situation was? Last night prince Kim Jongin, the guy I fell for, confessed to me. We talked, shared a few kisses and not only. Now, the day after that happened, it all was ruined.

I wiped tears off my face. I didn’t want anyone to see them.

All of sudden, I started to quietly hum the song I grew up with. The anthem of Southerlands.


For the next few days I was working with Miyoung. I didn’t serve at any of royal’s meals. Jongin also didn’t call for me even once. I couldn’t sleep at nights. Since the moment I discovered he’s going to get married soon I couldn’t stop thinking about it. In my mind I saw pictures of him and lady Shin together. Both happy. Both in love. I was wondering is that ever going to happen. From what I’ve heard that evening, I could say he didn’t like the idea of her becoming his queen. But this was the decision king Doyun and queen Eunji made. There was nothing to do about it now.

I was helping Miyoung with the dresses for the ladies. She had so many orders it was impossible for her to do them on her own. I haven’t seen her in three days, so now I had to tell her the whole story. She was the one who encouraged me to go to the party, so I had to reveal what exactly happened. How he confessed, how he kissed me and how he promised to meet me again. Everything we’ve done in his room and the talk I listened too.

“I can’t believe it” she sighed “I can’t believe he’s going to get married!”

“I know…” I put another needle in the material

“He can’t do that!” Miyoung shouted “Not after what he has done with you! It’s just unfair!”

“Please, don’t shout. I don’t want anyone to hear about this:”

“I’m sorry” she stood next to me “I’m just… I’m just mad at him!”

I smiled. She was so young and inexperienced, but I loved it. She was always making me happier, even when I was sad. Just like now. The whole whole situation with Jongin was overwhelming me.

“Let’s change the topic” I suggested with a weak smile on my face “Whose dress it will be?”

“Um…” she bit her bottom lip “It’s lady Shin’s”

I froze. I should’ve known. It was red, just every single dress that belonged to her. She was coming back to the kingdom this evening, so that’s the gown she’s going to get as a welcoming gift. I was wondering if I should stop working on the dress. But I didn’t want to show that I care, so I just sat on the chair and sew on another ribbon to the material.

“You’re pretending you don’t care, right?” Miyoung asked

“Yes” I said “And I’ll tell Jongin I sewn this one”

“You’re going to talk to him?”

“No” I laughed “At least not now. We’re both not ready”

I was trying to joke about it, but the truth was that I still cared. He wasn’t leaving my thoughts. Memories of us together in the garden and his room made me blush so easily. His hands on my body, our lips connected. It all didn’t want to leave my mind.


“What’s going on?” I asked with confusion when I saw Yeun getting up from her bed

“You don’t know?” she raised her eyebrow at me

I gently shook my head. No one told me about anything.

“We need to help with lady Shin’s arrival” she said

I clenched my hands into fists under a blanket. Why do we need to do that? Weren’t here hundreds of servants who could do it instead of us? The worse thing about it, was that Jongin will be there for sure. She was his fiancé after all.

“Come on” Yeun broke the short silence “We need to hurry. She can come in any minute”

I got up from my bed with a loud sigh. I didn’t want anyone to know that something happened between Jongin and me. Because no one in the palace, or anywhere else, would think that prince could fall for a servant. If this ever would happened, it was doomed for failure from the beginning.

We walked out of our room. I was wondering how Jongin is going to react. We haven’t seen each other in a few days. Maybe he was trying to forget, just like me? I didn’t want to remember our few moments together, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw us kissing.

Together with Yeun, I walked through a long corridor, which led to palace’s gate. I saw king Doyun, queen Eunji and some servants. Of course, Jongin was standing next to his parents. I couldn’t help, but stare at him. Surprisingly, he wasn’t smiling. The usual joy and happiness were replaced by seriousness. I’ve never seen him like this before.

I stood next to Yeun, on the left side of the royals. With a corner of my eye, I saw Jongin noticing me. I didn’t turn to face him, but I still could feel his gaze on me. I took a deep shaky breath.

“Are you alright?” Yeun’s voice made me snap out of my thoughts “You seem a bit out of here”

“It’s just a headache” I lied “It’ll pass”

Suddenly, I heard clatter of wheels. I saw two dark horses and a big black carriage going through palace’s gates. My eyes were following it, until it stopped a few meters away, sending a cloud of dust. I coughed quietly.

Carriage’s door opened and when I looked up, I saw a tall figure. Lady Shin was standing in front of the royal family. She bowed quickly and her long red dress twirled around her feet. I just stared at the whole situation. Jongin just kept looking at her with no emotions on his face.

“Your majesty” lady Shin’s voice was really high and somehow unpleasant

“My dear Jihee” king Doyun smiled “We are so happy that you finally came back to us”

“I am honored that you chose me to be your son’s future wife” she said

“You are no idea how happy we are, to announce your marriage” queen Eunji clapped her hands “We know that you lived in our castle for a long time, but it’s going to be a little bit different from now on”

“In a few minutes, Jongin will show you where your new room is” the king looked at his son with warning in his eyes “But now, as you’re almost the part of our family, choose one girl. She’s going to be your private servant”

Now I realized that there weren’t any man here. Lady Shin glanced at our small group of servants. She came closer and looked carefully at each of us. I didn’t want my eyes to met her’s. They were so dark and cold. I felt her presence in front of me. No. Please, no. She can’t choose me. There are at least ten six more girls here. I shut my eyes, hoping she won’t say the words I was expecting.

“I want her” she said and breath caught in my throat

“No” Jongin’s voice was strong and sudden

“Why?” lady Shin turned to face him

“Because she’s a seamstress” he snapped “They have a lot of work, so we can’t give them even more”

When I looked up, I saw Jongin staring at me. On the contrary to his voice, in his eyes there was care and gentleness. I couldn’t believe he said ‘no’ to his future wife. Maybe he didn’t want to forget? Maybe he still wanted me as much as I wanted him?

“You’re Y/N, right?” queen Eunji came closer to me with a smile on her face

I nodded.

“So, are you a seamstress, Y/N?”

I took a deep breath and looked at Jongin. I hoped he realised what I wanted to tell him.

“No, your highness” my voice was really quiet “Your son must have mistaken me for someone else because I sometimes help with sewing the gowns, but… As I said before, I am not a seamstress”

“Good” king Doyun eyed Jongin “Y/N, from now on you’re a private servant of lady Shin. You are going to have more duties, but I’ll make sure it will be well rewarded. Start from helping her with the luggage”

“Yes, your highness” I bowed and quickly went closer to the carriage

I had to stand on the tiptoes to take the smallest bag. It was pretty heavy. When the coachmen saw I had problem with the rest, he got up from his seat and helped me. I didn’t know if he was allowed to do that, but no one complained. When he finished, I smiled gently and mouthed ‘thank you’. Now, I had three big and one small bag in front of me and I had to take them all to lady Shin’s new room. I hoped it wasn’t somewhere deep in the castle.

“Jongin, you will show lady Shin her new chamber?” king Doyun wasn’t asking his son a question

The prince just shrugged and let out a sigh, leaving everyone shocked. Me included. I was expecting that he’ll say ‘with pleasure’ or something like that, but instead of it I just heard:

“Sure”

He started walking to the castle. King Doyun furrowed his eyebrows. I could see how mad he was. He whispered something to his wife and looked at me. I immediately took the smaller bag and one of the bigger ones. I knew I’ll have to go back here and take the rest. Lady Shin pretended nothing happened and started to follow Jongin. When she was about to enter the palace, she stopped and turned to face me. In that exact moment, I tripped over something and dropped the smaller bag. I quietly hissed from sudden pain. I looked around and I noticed everyone was staring at me. Jongin clearly struggled with the desire to approach and help me. Brushing the dust off, I got up and joined lady Shin.

When I was close enough, she leaned in and whispered with a devilish smile on her face that only I could see:

“You drop something once more, you sleep in the dungeon”

Author’s note: I can’t believe that previous parts have over 80 notes! Thank you!

exo in malaysia

junmyeon: absolute dad. learned more english just so he could talk to us but asked ‘do you understand’ a lot. milky skinned pretty man with the attitude of a king like you don’t understand he literally looks like a rich sugar daddy with his patterned shirt half tucked in and perfectly parted hair. really wanted it to rain and then was so, so happy it did. ‘malaysia are you having fun???’ x500

minseok: hyped up so hype jumping dancing spinning everywhere dance with me everyone, literally the most excited person alive and sings so well. someone calm this child down. has a very cheeky face his smile is sweeter than what it looks in pictures which only makes him look cuter. oldest but acts more childish than the youngest but really so much energy. got shy when we sung happy birthday to him to the point of covering his face and everyone was cooing half hearts full heart everywhere

jongdae: loud boy. ‘MALAYSIA’. king of high notes boy your voice sounds better live than anyone i’ve ever heard get out of here. people said he could be a rock singer and i agree his voice is a powerhouse thank god the venue didn’t have a roof or it would have been blown off. respectful son, very kind and very well spoken. with the exception of 'it’s hot here not because of the weather but because of ALL OF YOU’. flirt. don’t hurt my heart this way.

kyungsoo: stoic handsome man. good shoulders, good eyebrows, good everything. total showoff with his sexy sexy vocals (like how dare you sing one line of TMWIL and completely destroy us all???). staring. head bobbing on point i’ve never seen anyone look so spectacular while moving their head from side to side. so many toys how many stringy squishy toys do you need i think he had five or six, very smol but very manly. big smiles all around though tonight he was very bubbly and happy i enjoyed it very much

baekhyun: E X T R A. deep laugh. 'COME ON’. adlibs for days and so happy, radiates energy makes you excited just by existing. was the first to yell MALAYSIA let me tell you my life flashed before my eyes. very smiley very charming. the type of person who is very soft but has a strong manly side, you instantly want to be friends with him. also 'i wish it would rain more right now!’ even if that means we have to drive home in terrible weather it doesn’t matter it has to rain more now because he likes it and God would take one look at him and send a downpour

chanyeol: the biggest tease to ever grace the surface of the earth. sir can you stop wearing your jackets around your elbows i can’t stop staring at your shoulders. also stop tipping your head back like that please thank you. very very handsome okay listen you have no idea his big ears and eyes and he’s very sexy also very excited. dancing because it rained. good rapping good guitar good singing good playing i felt personally attacked but i guess that was the point. if you look up boyfriend in the dictionary there’s just a picture of him also im still laughing at the bug incident he threw his jersey across the stage. needs to calm down

jongin: kind pure sweet darling boy. purer and lovelier than you can ever imagine. so soft and graceful and full of happiness the sun basically shines from his face let me tell you. skin like golden honey. serious split personality one moment is squish next is stop. please, i can’t deal with you smirking anymore. just so precious, really, i thought he was before but now i can’t express it enough. smiles and cuteness everywhere and so much sweat, sleeveless shirts and waving everywhere. type of boy who comes right to the edge of the stage and wants to look at every person in the crowd, was pouty because the stage didn’t stretch all the way around the stadium. honestly just the most wonderful person to exist ever how did we ever deserve to be so blessed with his existence

sehun: brat x1000. beautiful tall boy with a much deeper voice than expected. please don’t translate for him he wants us non koreans to understand him but is a total troll (lucky we malaysians are smart hurr hurr). takes his sweet time won’t hurry for anyone not even junmyeon, wears his cap so low no one can see his face from the screen, walks so slow and with such swagger i literally said brat out loud in the middle of the crowd. should release a solo album. sang for us and it was very nice, thank you for blessing us with your vocals. very very handsome what everyone says about him being even more handsome in person is true. pinky swear. 'you’ll wait for us right?’ 'promise?’ really such a good boy all love to him

Favourite lines from Made In The A.M.
  • Hey Angel: I come alive when I hear your voice, It's a beautiful sound, it's a beautiful noise
  • Drag Me Down: I got a river for a soul, And baby you're a boat
  • Perfect: RENDEZVOUS
  • Infinity: And now I'm one step closer to being two steps far from you
  • End of the Day: And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break
  • If I Could Fly: For your eyes only, I show you my heart
  • Long Way Down: Built a cathedral, But we never prayed
  • Never Enough: Lips so good I forget my name
  • Olivia: The summertime and butterflies, All belong to your creation
  • What A Feeling: What a feeling to be a king beside you
  • Love You Goodbye: My heart's already breaking, baby, go on, twist the knife
  • I Want To Write You A Song: Everything I need I get from you, Givin' back is all I wanna do
  • History: THIS IS NOT THE END
  • Temporary Fix: We can call this what you like
  • Walking In The Wind: But it's not the end, I'll see your face again
  • Wolves: Headed straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark
  • A.M.: Won't you stay till the AM? All my favourite conversations always made in the AM

hey there anon

Now, while I know that katsudeku would most likely never become canon (and while it breaks my heart, im totally okay with it). BUT you know what. I’ve started to ship them ever since the start of the manga, it was during the well-known slug villain scene when king-of-explodo-kills got captured, it was just so beautiful for me. dekus’ will to save kacchan despite everything kacchan’s done to him, his shout of kacchan’s name as he desperately tried to save his friend, and the expression on Kacchans’ face, he just looked so vulnerable as if he was asking for help, he wanted to be saved it had a lot of impact on me and it was there and then that i told myself ‘that’s it, that’s my ship!’

sure, they may not be in talking terms as of now. but they’re slowly, very slowly, in their own pace, getting there. They’ve managed to change their perspective of each other and because of that, they’re trying to become better, stronger. Whether or not it’s intentional, they have both managed to make an impact on the others life: kacchan has realized that he isnt the only one who’s strong and talented, he’s managed to lessen his shouting and violence and is trying to get better, to not stop trying to give it his all.



deku on the other hand has viewed kacchan as someone worth looking up to and becoming a source of inspiration, he admires kacchan a lot and sees him as someone worth surpassing.

the thing is, while i do agree that kacchan has caused deku troubles (and i do hope that he apologizes one day) they were kids, and while that doesnt justify kacchan’s actions and behavior, what im trying to say here is that they were kids, they make mistakes and learn from it and would probably try to correct their mistakes, and i think that’s what’s happening with them.

katsudeku isnt as toxic and unhealthy as some people claim/make it to be. In the end, it’s just kacchan’s inflated ego (he’s a head full of pride) that’s preventing him from recognizing his care towards deku; i mean, if people reread the manga they’ll see katsuki isn’t that bad of a person at all, he can be caring and nice (though he can be very subtle about it), honestly kacchan isnt the nicest character nor is he the most honest. kacchan can be violent, but he doesnt take it to a point where in he’ll try to kill someone. He wants to be a hero, fighting bad guys excites him and just like deku, he looks up to All Might, and i believe some people tend to forget that. Katsuki is a very complex character whose personality isnt just that of a bully. he’s full of depth and character development (and i can’t help but love him and would want to protect him) and this is why i believe, deku never really took his bullying to a point where he’d actually jump off the roof and stop aiming to become a hero. katsuki might still call him deku, but i think the intensity and the reason is different now. remember that time when kacchan got kidnapped? when he said deku that time, it got to me. he wasnt angry or upset but he looked concernrd: kacchan knew they’d lost and if izuku tried to reach out to  save him, izuku will get dragged with him or worse get hurt. he wanted deku to stay back in order to protect him, and that just speaks volume to me.

and let’s not forget the fact that izuku still calls katsuki “kacchan” of all things, and katsuki lets him, sure he might shout and look pissed but he just lets it go, and i just love that.

i mean just look at this, when izuku found out that the villains were targeting katsuki, he was worried and he still cares for kacchan.

and here we have king-of-expolod-kills itching for a fight, he looks hella pissed and he knows izuku’s the one behind it yet he still let the nickname go, he just brushes it off, he doesnt get mad at deku.

i mean look at their genuine concern for the other… sure, this ship is a little bit problematic, but that’s what makes it interesting.

A Different Fate Prologue

A/N it’s hard to say when this takes place because of the nature of the story, but let’s just say mare has come from the time in Kings Cage when everything is still good lol but now she’s living in an alternate path/world. The prologue is v short but I hope to have more up soon if you guys enjoy this, which I hope you do. Without further ado I present A Different Fate…

Warm hands dance lightly on my arm. I smile sleepily, basking in the warmth, as Cal’s hands continue to roam. This is a moment I want to keep forever, I never want to forget the oranges and reds shining softly beyond my eyelids like the sun rise itself, the aroma of campfire and freshly baked bread, the taste of Cal still hot on my lips, the feeling of being held in his toned arms, legs intertwined, gentle breath tickling my neck, the sound of our hearts beating as one.

I picture Cal’s focused bronze eyes, “memorizing” me. I’ve caught him in the act many times. He always wakes before me, military man at heart. He’s says he’s committing me to memory, it ironically comforts me after… Maven. I assume this is how Cal copes, although I’m not sure if it’s the best way to.

I open my eyes and meet ice blue orbs inches from mine.

Maven.

I flinch back surprised I don’t fall off Cal’s barrack bed, instead my weight shifts awkwardly onto more bed. Suddenly freezing I tensely scoot away from his cruel grasp, never looking away from his piercing blue eyes.

This isn’t Cal’s room in the barracks. This is the palace.

His brows furrow in confusion, “Mare, darling what’s the matter?” this is the Maven I used to know, his voice smooth and kind, I almost believe him.

Almost.

Choking back bile, I reach for my lightning, my purple sparks comfort me slightly. I aim for his neck but he quickly grabs my wrists. My breathing hitches once again, I writher violently as tries to hold me down and wrestle me still, his voice is ragged and desperate when he shouts “Mare! Please the baby!”

I fall still immediately, staring down at my considerably inflated stomach.

This time I do throw up.

(untitled moon lovers post)

While I thought I covered everything I wanted to discuss in my finale post about Moon Lovers… guess who discovered she still had something to say while she was going to sleep last night? #me #nevershuttingup #pleasestopme

I only really have two-three extra things to say. They’re passing observations.

  • King Gwangjong and Queen Daemok

Towards the later years of Gwangjong’s rule, historians say that he grew more and more suspicious about those around him (also in part because many of those who were close to them betrayed him and such). It’s why he killed off his relatives, including Wang Yo’s son Prince Kyeongcheonwon and Wang Mu’s son Prince Heung Hwa. He even doubted his own son, future Gyeongjong (Wang Joo).

And it’s interesting to see how in Moon Lovers, it’s not much because of paranoia that Wang So distances himself from his son. He just thinks that like his mother, the oh-so-ambitious Hwangbo Yeonhwa, that his son is the same. Both of them are ‘hiding’ their true faces behind masks, and he knows one day that they may strike at Gwangjong. 

It’s a possibility since Gwangjong is making changes that upset the noble clans because it was taking away their power. Like I discussed in my Gwangjong post, Gwangjong eventually implemented a law to emancipate the slaves–and it was something that Queen Daemok also tried to stop, like the noble clans. This is seen in the drama, and it is an act that weakens the power of the noble clans.

While Gwangjong does this to consolidate his throne, Yeonhwa also suspects that it has to do with Hae Soo, the one girl he could not forget. And yes, part of it is. Years later, Wang So could very much feel guilty about the events that transpired between him and Soo, and while everyone played a part in that tragedy… Wang So still deeply misses and loves Hae Soo. 

Thinking of her time as a musuri and watching her struggle, he could’ve very much empathized with the plight of the slaves. But more than that, I think the weight of what happened with Chaeryung also deeply affects Wang So, since a lot of their fights and ‘falling apart’ happened after Chaeryung. It was one of the events that eventually drove Hae Soo away. Hae Soo says that Chaeryung’s only crime was that she was born a slave. And that is true. Chaeryung was a slave who was caught between larger systems of power since the day she was born, and deprived her of her own autonomy. In her limited standpoint, she only had the option of being used by those who were above her–Wang Won and Wang Wook, respectively. 

Gwangjong really hits two birds with one stone here–he attempts to repent for his mistakes that made in the past with Hae Soo, as well as protect and consolidate his throne.

I also don’t know if you guys noticed, but Gwangjong is actually using ‘formal language’ while he talks with Yeonhwa here. This is something that he didn’t do before, but probably now does because it follows the etiquette of the time. While the kings were in higher power, they still used formal language with their queens. Furthermore, my mother once told me that during the Joseon Dynasty (and this probably also applies to the kingdoms that came before–Goryeo, and the Three Kingdoms), married couples used formal language with one another. I assume that this would’ve been more widely done among royalty and noble families, so I can’t speak to if commoners practiced this or not. However, formal language was probably used as a sign of respect. 

Growing up, I’ve seen many Korean families, and I can only remember one family where the couple continued to speak formally to one another. (I don’t know if anyone cares but I also know that actor Song Il Guk said that he also used formal language with his wife; seeing his interactions with his wife on the variety show, The Return of Superman, I think formal language also makes us think of how language can influence the way we behave (like if I use formal language, that somehow makes me want to act more respectfully)…. but I’m veering off my point.) 

I just thought it was interesting how there’s a changed dynamic between Gwangjong and Yeonhwa in terms of the way they’re speaking to each other.

  • Narrator Shift 

This is just something I’ve thought about. But I found it interesting that after Hae Soo dies, Baek Ah sort-of becomes the new narrator. 

He’s the one left in Goryeo that is still tied with everyone else, and has remained quite neutral among all of his brothers and maintained good relationships with all of them, even if he was Wang So’s person. Much like Hae Soo, he seems like that sort of neutral character, who could never really intervene into much. 

What a pure cinnamon roll, too good for this world. Honestly. Baek Ah, the unsung hero of Moon Lovers. I cry myself to sleep because of this kid

  • Friendly Reminder that Wang So enjoys hawk hunting the most 

idk why this is important

but i think it is 

right?

wang so likes hawks idk why but that makes me want to cry??? 

yeah i’m done

4

“Holding on to love is not wrong, but you need to learn to hold it lightly, caressingly. Let it fly when it wants. When it’s allowed to be free, love is what makes life alive, joyful, and new. It’s the juice and energy that motivates my music, my dancing, everything. As long as love is in my heart, it’s everywhere.” ~Happy 58th Birthday to the King of it all, Michael Jackson | August 29, 1958-∞

SCM : Tauxolouve regaining his memory after the King took it away

Standing in front of the King together with Tauxolouve and your new born baby, you can hear your heart beating nonstop with worry. The rest of the gods are there, all looking sad. Still wrapping his hand around your shoulder, Tauxolouve simply stared back at the King as if he mentally prepared for whatever that is coming.

You recalled a few days ago of how Tauxolouve was so excited to hold your son, Toshiro in his hands after he was born. However, his face turn pale after kissing his child and you had a bad feeling about it. That night, Toshiro was visited by the evil gods who wanted his blood to revive the dark King and Tauxolouve used his power to protect him, prevented him from losing his life. Now all of you are standing in front of the King.

“I am prepared for everything. Just spare my son.” Tauxolouve break the silent first. You can feel tears flowing down your cheeks.

“Very well, you will then vanish from heaven and earth.” The King sighed.

You dropped to your floor upon hearing it and Tauxolouve immediately hold you up.

“I love you and Toshiro. Take care.” Tauxolouve whispered sadly and kissed you deeply before taken away by the others.

You refused to give up and kneel on your knees to beg the King. The King refused to see you and you stubbornly refuse to get on your feet. The rest of the gods take turn taking care Toshiro and even persuade you to give up. You refuse to give in and finally collapse after kneeling for 2 days.

By the time you regained your conscious, you saw the King in front of you. Without any delay, you started begging him. “Please forgive him!” You sobbed weakly.

“You are still very stubborn despite a fact that you are now a human.” The King sighed. “Fine! However, he can’t escape unpunished. I will remove his memory and you are not to see him again.”

Your face turned pale for a moment but soon accepted it. Having him forget about you is better than him vanish. Together with Toshiro, you left the place where you used to stay. You stay away from the rest of the gods as well since they will remind you of Tauxolouve. It was tough to raise Toshiro by yourself but somehow you pulled through and it has been 4 years since you last saw Tauxolouve.

Back in heaven, Tauxolouve is hard at work as usual. He realized that he is missing part of his memory and he can’t understand why. Every night he has a same dream about a woman but he can’t seem to get a clear vision of her. He still has the anklet with him and although he has no idea when he got this but he knows it is important to him.

“I know you guys are hiding something from me.” Tauxolouve rebuked during one of the night together with the wishes gods.

“Just don’t ask anymore.” Leon replied calmly.

“Leon is right! Just let it go.” Karno added.

“It is for your own good.” Hue said softly.

“We can’t say anything to you.” Teorus turned away from him.

“You guys are saying the same thing for so many years. How to you expect me to let go. It is obvious that you are hiding something from me.” Tauxolouve shouted while everyone look away from him with exception Aigo, who is sleeping as usual. Feeling frustrated, Tauxolouve left the living room.

Alone in the garden, Tauxolouve feel lost when a voice surprised him. “If you get no answer, why don’t you find out yourself?” Tauxolouve turned to see Aigo walking toward him. “Here is the address.” Aigo passed a piece of paper to him and left soon after without saying further.

Tauxolouve looks at the piece of paper and decide to go down to earth to find out what is going on. He found the place located near a river and the scene is beautiful. It is almost as peaceful as his secret hideout. There is a little boy near the river doing some painting. However, he suddenly starts crying and throw the painting on the ground.

“Even if you can’t draw well, there is no reason for you to cry.” Tauxolouve said kindly to the boy.

“No, I wanted to draw a family portrait but I don’t know how to draw my father. I don’t know how he looks like.” The boy sobbed even louder.

Tauxolouve feels sad for him and hugged him in his arms. After a while, the boy seem to calm down and quickly dry away his tears. “I can’t let my mum see my crying face. It will make her even sad.” He muttered to himself.

“You are such a good boy.” Tauxolouve smiled and pat at the boy head.

“Oh you had this same anklet too. My mum has a similar one. My mum told me that if two persons in love wear the same anklets, they will be together again in next life.” Toshiro explained after spotting the anklet.

“Together again in next life? Together again in next life?” Tauxolouve muttered repeatedly and these words seem to ring a bell while he glares down at his anklet.

Toshiro pick up the drawing on the ground and showed him what he had drawn. “She is my mum. Aren’t she beautiful?” He said proudly.

The moment Tauxolouve saw the painting, he hold his head in pain. Every memory he lost seem to be slowly coming back. He remembers the woman in his dream for the past few years is the same woman in the drawing. He remembers your name and finally looks up at the boy in front of him.

“Toshiro? You are Toshiro.” Tauxolouve hold him and whispered, who look surprised.

“How do you know my name?” Toshiro exclaimed in shock.

“Toshiro my boy, I am sorry for not being by your side.” Tauxolouve sobbed and pulled him into his arms. He then explained the rest of the details and Toshiro was jumping in joy. He knows Tauxolouve is not lying since his story matched what he knows about your likes.

“Mum, dad is home.” Toshiro shouted excitedly when he brought Tauxolouve home.

“Toshiro, stop the joke.” You muttered while continued with your housework without turning your back.

“I am really home.” Tauxolouve whispered sweetly into your ear and you jumped in shock.

You turned around to see Tauxolouve standing in front of you. You thought you are dreaming and wonder why would a person you been missing every day is suddenly here. Tears started to flow down and you can see him trying to hold back his tears as well.

“You are not dreaming. I am really is home.” Tauxolouve holds your hands and let it place on his cheeks. He then caresses your cheeks, wiping away those tears.

“It is really you but how? You supposed to lost your memories.” You sobbed and buried your face in his chest while he embraced you tightly.

“I can’t seem to forget you totally. The drawing and the anklet brought back my memories. I should thank Toshiro who inherited my skill of drawing.” Tauxolouve chuckled.

Toshiro ran over to both of you and Tauxolouve immediately carried him up. He then pulled you into his arms again.

“I am sorry for making both of you suffer. I promised that I won’t be leaving both of you anymore. I will make up for the lost time. Let me take good care of both of you.” Tauxolouve exclaimed happily.

You nodded and still can’t stop crying. You had lost hope of seeing him again. Seeing him now, the happiness you feel is word that can’t describe. The only thing you wish now is that there will peace and three of you will be together forever.

Happy Birthday Myungsoo

I feel a little bad because on Woohyun’s birthday I just felt like a ball of meh and didn’t do anything. But I think he knows he is loved… I hope so. But our Myungsoo… sometimes I don’t think he does.

Originally posted by eteru

I still think… how broken hearted he was during part of OGS and during Grow, how I wanted to beat people up for betraying him and hurting him and making him cry and worst of all making him think he could ever lose his place in Infinite or in the hearts of Inspirits.

Originally posted by taemint

But Myungsoo for me is very special. He’s the quiet thinker, the one who gets overwhelmed in crowds but feels safe with his members. He’s the one who is a silent perfectionist, beating himself up to get everything right. Watch him dance sometimes, his eyes are full of concentration and a little fear of getting it wrong. His photographs and thoughts are as beautiful as his face.

Originally posted by kpopisasin

Beyond that, he’s our precious dorky darling, the king of mental breakdowns, quirky expressions and beautiful sudden smiles.

Originally posted by thenames-jess

But in the end, he is not L to me, but always Myungsoo. Irreplaceable, unforgettable and very dear to me.

Originally posted by ifntsoo

Happy Birthday Myungsoo. I’m so proud of you and I love you dearly. <3 Please be happy in your life.

.

My Wife (Scarlet Heart Ryeo! Wang Yo)

Type: Angst/Fluff

Request: I just wanna say thank you for writing for scarlet Heart lol^^ there is a serious lack of kdramas scenarios in comparison to kpop, you do not need to do this request if you are too busy btw I understand, could I request a fluff/angst Wang Yo scenario where the King disapprove dog you as his wife and he gets protective and the other princes are shocked because he’s never cared or actually been in love with a woman before (sorry this message is so long xx💖)


You were shocked by his father’s words. You were approved to marry him by the king and everything and now he didn’t want you to be with his son. You felt heart broken and glanced down at the floor in shame before Yo grabbed your arm. “You wanted this marriage in the first place what changed your mind?” Yo asked as he squeezed your arm in reassurance. His father just gave a stern look “I will not divorce my wife my king” Yo spoke as you turned your head to look at him slightly. He bowed to his father before he pulled you out of the room and outside.

“Yo, your father-” “you are my wife and I will keep it that way” he told you as you nod lightly tears filling your eyes slightly. His hand reached up cupping your cheek lightly before he rubbed under your eye as you reached up and lightly cupped his hand with yours.

~

Won stopped as he caught sight of you two and instantly hid behind the area he was in “what are you doing?” Eun spoke scaring his brother who brought his finger to his lips and then pointed at you two. “Yo has really changed for that girl” Eun spoke “I think he’s in love” Won spoke causing Eun to make a sound in agreement. 

~

You looked him in the eyes “I don’t want your father to be mad” “I will worry about him” he spoke to you as you gave him a look “your looks will not change this for me” he informs as you look away. He moved his hand so he could rub your cheek lightly. “I care for you Y/N and I won’t allow anyone to take you away from me” he says tugging you close to him making your eyes widen. “What are you doing? We’re in public” you say as he laughs lightly. 

He let go of you “well prepare to be embarrassed in public more” he whispers before he leans in and kisses you. You were sure if anyone saw this they were about as shocked as you were. Yo never was one to express his feelings so openly. Once he pulled away you felt like your cheeks were on fire before you glanced down again. Smirking he linked your arms “lets go drink” he tells you like nothing had happened before not the conversation with his father and not the kiss. You were very much happy that he cared so much for you and wouldn’t want you to leave him ever.

IF THE RaVEN SQUAD WAS AT THE ZOO

I can’t get this headcanon out of my head like I want them to go to the zoo that would be so cute

-Gansey would totally be that dad with the map of the zoo trying to maneuver through all the exhibits and keeping track of where they are, but then Noah’s just like “PANDAS” and they all go running to them and Gansey’s like “GUYS THE MAP YOU CANT JUST, OHMYGOD NOAH DON’T TRIP YOU GUYS ERIOUSLY, THIS ISNT THE PATH I PLANNED OUT FOR US”

-They go to the penguin exhibit and NOah’s like ohmygod they’re so cute and he just goes through the glass and becomes one with the penguin herd, like he’s waddling around with them and everything and the penguins just accept him as one of their own.  And all the while Gansey is just HAVING A HEART ATTACK SCrEAMING like NOAH YOU CANT JUST

-They go to the gift shop and they’re selling these like animal masks, and blue is just trying all of them on and she points to the lion mask and shes like “ronan put that on right now” and he refuses because hes soooo tough and then adam just takes it and puts it on his face, and under the lion mask ROnan is just blushing SO HARD and he won’t take it off because he doesn’t want them to see him BLUSHIng.

-Ronan gets into staring contests with every animal that looks at him and then he’s facing off with this llama and it just spits on his face, and adam and blue are just dying

-They’re at the wolverine exhibit and gansey’s reading the sign for them and it says something like “though small and cute the wolverine has a highly aggressive nature and can take down prey as large as a moose and steal food from bears and wolves.” And he’s just smiling to himself because it sounds like blue, and at that moment blue is punching ronan for pointing this exact thing out.

-I just imagine gansey sitting on like a big rock to rest his legs and then the rock just starts moving because it’s actually like a bigass tortoise and Gansey jumps up and screams and falls over himself and then he has to crawl around looking for his glasses

-They’d be in like a big butterfly house where all the butterflies fly around and chill. And this butterfly just lands on Ronan’s head and blue keeps giggling because Ronan’s acts all tough and manly and here he is with this butterfly on him and he shoos it away but it just comes back.  And then another butterfly lands on his shoulder, followed by another, and another. And soon he’s just like COVERED in butterflies and they’re all laughing because its RONAAn.

-then like a butterfly lands on adam’s nose and he sneezes and ronan just cannot handle it

-You can BEt YouR AsS Gansey brought a bunch of little sandwiches and juiceboxes and snacks for his children and they all sit under like a tree just eating while like pigeons and peacocks are just walking around eating crumbs.

-Noah and Blue keep throwing chips to the birds and then more and more birds start coming until Blue and Noah have amassed and ARmY. And then they just look at each other, and then throw all of the contents of the chip bag at where Gansey, Adam, And Ronan are sitting and watch the ensuing chaos as the flock of birds just SWARM ND ATTCK.  ANd Gansey is trying to crawl away as a pigeon tries to like nest in his hair, and Ronan is trying to protect adam and failing miserably, and then chainsaw is like squawking at the other birds, and blue and noah are rolling on the ground laughing.

-They are looking at the elephants and then there is a tiny lil baby one just tumblin around and adam is watching ronan’s face just smiling because this elephant is so darn cute and then the baby elephant falls down and ronan’s concerned face is so darn cute that adam has to look away.

-I literally just imagine Gansey outfitted in like one of those full Zoo Safari outfits that are like all beige and with the hat and the vest and all the pockets and everything like what a nerd i love him

-NoaH GETS HIS FACE PAINTED LIKE A TIGER

-Gansey bought a pair of fucking binoculars to see the animals better because he’s gansey and he’s trying to get a closer look at the gorillas and then blue just puts her face in front of the binoculars so Gansey just all of a sudden sees A HUGE BLUE and he hits himself in the face with the binoculars

-They’re sitting by a fountain and Adam is feeding bread to a bunch of baby ducks but when they get up to leave the baby ducks just start following him like he’s the mama duck and adam just does not know what to do because they will not stop following him and ronan is just sCrEaMiNg INTERNALLY

-They are looking at this cute little white rat in a glass cage unaware that it’s about to be python food so Gansey and noah are just screaming while this python swallows the rat whole, blue starts to sing “circle of life”, ronan is laughing at them, while adam is just shaking his head at all of them.

-a little kid is lost and crying because the lions roaring is scaring her and adam, being the only capable and responsible one, just like kneels down beside her and is like “Hey it’s okay, the lions can’t get you because there’s a big fence so they can’t get to you” and she’s still scared so he’s like “Even if they get past the fence you see that guy(pointing to ronan), well he’s a super professional lion tamer and he’ll stop them before they get to you, so you have nothing to worry about” and she stops crying and he takes her hand and helps her find her worried parents. AWh. 

-They get dippin dots and Noah is just IncREdiBLY fascinated and captivated by these little ice cream dots even tho he can’t eat them, so he makes adam eat two because adam has never had them either

-They have a contest to see who can stand the longest with one leg in the air like the flamingos and ronan is immediately out because he has shitty balance and he’s like “this is dumb” and he storms off and adams just like “Ronan stop omg” and goes after him and so adam’s out. And gansey is so busy watching blue concentrate that he doesn’t even realize he’s falling.  And then Noah and Blue are at it for like two minutes until Blue cheats and cuts off her energy supply to Noah and Noah flickers out and he stumbles so Blue wins even tough noah is grumbling that she cheated.

-They’re at one of those polar bear exhibits where you can look through the glass and see the polar bears swimming.  And Ronan like pushes Noah and noah accidentally falls through the glass and the little kids there are like “MOmmy look theres a boy in the water!” and the Parents are just like “DEAR GOD KATIE LOOK AWAY” and then the EMPLoyees are runnin g around like “MAYDAY MAYDAY CODE 9 I REPEAT CODE 9″ And Noah just like gets out and he’s completely fine and they have to leave because the employees are Like HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD, and noahs just like “i kinda am so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”