the king can do as he likes!!!

Lief not only blames himself for making a mistake, he thinks he has betrayed his friends and his people. He has betrayed their loyalty, and their trust 

Because everyone believed Lief without question. His friends gathered in Sharn’s sickroom, with their masks already removed, before Lief had even explained to them that the ‘Plague’ was a lie. Lief says they can remove their masks, and they do it, without even knowing why, only on the knowledge only that Lief says it is okay 

And the people of Del did the same. They removed their masks even though they were afraid, even though some (like Dunn) were unhappy, on no evidence other than ‘the king said we should’

In Dragon’s Nest the people of Del told him they would give him their lives… and now they will. They trusted in their king, they took his word that they would be safe, and now Lief has betrayed their trust and killed them all

Like this is some next level self-blame

9

what happens when the devil sneezes?


This was me asking important questions at 1 am and avoiding my homework


Please do not repost or use without my permision

i mentioned the recent confusion about my intimidating guns and the clever solution that i solved it with to steve, and he helpfully illustrated my success. 

i knit that sweater myself you guys, im very proud. 

Bruce does the thing where when he wants to get his kids’ attention he’ll be like “Say your name if you can hear me!” because that’s what my mom does, so of course that’s totally something Bruce would do, especially because it makes things way easier when they’re talking through the comms on patrol. It’s gotten to the point where every time he does this, they just yell back random names

Bruce: “Say your name if you can hear me, guys.”

Dick: “SOFIA THE FIRST”

Barbara: "BARACK OBAMA”

Jason: "DIANA OF THEMYSCIRA”

Cass: "Jorge”

Tim: "MILEY CYRUS’ TRUSTY SLEDGEHAMMER”

Steph: “MARTIN LUTHOR KING JR, AT YOUR SERVICE”

Duke: “SMITTY WERBENJAGERMANJENSEN”

Damian: ”…Your mom”

Bruce: 😑

2

-catching his attention first day and after that he just has to have you

-he has all these pick up lines

-like, he’s a walking pick up line creator

-him taking a lot of time to get ready for your first date and fussing over every last detail

-showing up to your date and he’s just 100% charm

-after that you cant get enough of each other

-driving around

-pulling over just to make out

-when he drives he has his hand on your thigh

-yeah you’re just so damn distracting when he’s driving so lots of stops

-lets be serious, you like driving fast and he can give it to you, he loves when he goes so fast you scream

-he likes doing other things that make you scream

-this boi has mad game in the bed room lets be serious

-he’s hella protective and if you were dating him you’d have to be chill with that

-king of arm over your shoulders

-king of glare down anyone who looks at you the wrong way

-you’re both reigning king and queen of PDA

-like when you stand next to  him, lets be serious, you’re running your fingers around his abs and shoulders

-but also such a deep like communication

-opening up to each other about everything

-supporting each other 100%

-being there for him whenever he has issues with his dad

-helping him learn to not take his anger out on Max when he’s really just mad at his dad 

-him sitting with his head in your lap while he tells you his life story

-he likes sitting with his head in your lap, looking up at you

-people being just shocked you’re with him

-having to explain to Steve why you’re with Billy

-honestly, just lots of explaining

-but people see how he changes when he’s with you

-really trying to get to know Max

-one day she snaps at you about why you’re dating Billy and you, without directly stating it, tell her there might be more going in in his head when he’s mean to her, perhaps he’s an ass to her so she knows not to do things that would upset his dad

-its obvious to Billy that you like Max, and he is super insecure about not being good enough so he tries really hard to make you happy and if being nice to Max makes you happy then so be it

-honestly, just helping Billy figure his shit out

-redemption arc please

-going to movies together and managing to get through half the movie before you both go find some place to make out

-honestly just primal attraction and need for one another

-he’s a lip biter, i see it

-being jealous of his hella long eye lashes

-him telling you he loves every single part of you

-him kind of being scared he loves you so much because he’s never felt that way before

-but he knows his heart is safe with you <3

-kissing in the rain

-sneaking around school together

-he’s a bad boy so skipping classes, unless you’re super against it, then he wouldent pressure you

-honestly probably doing something athletic together, unless you hate that, then you study or listen to music and dance while he works out 

-holding each other like your life depends on it when one or both of you is sad

-always knowing how to make the other smile

-there would be issues, not gonna lie, but you see in Billy the ability to redeem himself, and you are there with him every step of the way

-(last minute add on: super dirty dancing vibes in some dodgy bar with rock music going where you dont know anyone else and all you care about is each other)

Sex with Ethan and Grayson would include ♡

Request: ‘’What do you think Grayson and Ethan would be like in bed, like in detail??? xxx‘’

A/N: I think that the twins most of the time would be really gentle and passionate buttt also could be really rough and lowkey kinky when having sex. Because let’s face it: they’re sex gods and just from looking at them I get really turned on, lol. BUT I do think that Ethan is more into kinky stuff and Grayson into more romantic sex ;) Hope you enjoy xx

ETHAN:                                                                                                           

↪ Lots and looots of sex

↪ Sexting before as a warm up ;)

↪ He would be dominant af, but sometimes sub as well

↪ Lazy morning sex

↪ Rarely slow and passionate sex and most of the time really rough and maybe even kinky?

↪ You stripping down for him and he licking his lips when you do

↪ He would be the KING of foreplay (I mean looook at those fingers)

↪ Teasing the freaking fuck out of you until you’re almost begging him to fuck you

↪ Running his lips over your panties and pulling at the waist

↪ His lips on every centimeter of your body

↪ You pressing your mouth against his shoulder to keep yourself from crying out his name

↪ Lots of making out, and kisses everywhere!

↪ HICKIES and love bites on very visible places on your skin

↪ ‘’E, I can’t go out like this’’

↪ ‘‘Sure you can, everyone will know that you’re mine’’

↪ Him grabbing hungrily your ass and squeezing your boobs

↪ Sex in public bathrooms if he’s feeling very horny or jealous when he saw other guys staring at you

↪ Sooo much moaning and panting

↪ Him smirking when you moan SUPER loud (which is like all the time)

↪ Low and deep groans from him (just imagine this omg)

↪ Sweaty and hot skin

↪ SpANKinG

↪ THIGH RIDING

↪ Hair pulling !!

↪ Eye contact (SO sexy)

↪ Lots of dirty talk

↪ ‘‘Eyes on me’‘

 ↪ ‘‘Be quiet, babygirl’‘

↪ ‘’Yeah, you like that huh?’’

↪ Eating you out like 24/7

↪ Him biting his lips when he sees you reaching your orgasm

↪ Him begging you to give him a blowjob

↪ Taking turns in pleasing each other

↪ Letting you know that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world

↪ Really intense orgasms

↪ Experimenting with different positions

↪ Soft whimpers

↪ Him grabbing your waist when you climb on top of him

↪ Him getting even more stimulated and loving it when you scream his name

↪ Him breathing heavily and unsteady into your neck

↪ Holding your hand when you cum (when you have really passionate sex)

GRAYSON:

↪ Sex like ALL the time when you’re spending time just at home

↪ Usually it would be pretty spontaneous but sometimes he would prepare some things and put lots of effort into making it special, like:

↪ Your favorite music playing in the background, dimmed lights, scented candles

↪  Most of the time he would be really gentle and careful but sometimes it would be really fast and rough

↪ Again: FOREPLAYYY! Foreplay would for sure include fingering, teasing and touching you everywhere (because let’s face it: Gray is really touchy)

↪ I just know that Gray would be very good at foreplay (I mean LOOK at those fingers and big hands oh my)

↪ Shaky hands when you reach your orgasm and him holding them

↪ Tracing your skin with his soft fingertips

↪ Slow movements

↪ ‘’Just fuck me already’’

↪ ‘’Patience, baby’’

↪ Every little thing you would argue about would get heated and lead to sex

↪ Also A LOT OF make up sex

↪ Him admiring your body and smiling when you undress yourself

↪ Complimenting you on your cute lingerie

↪ And him taking forever to pull it off

↪ ‘’Need some help?’’

↪ ‘’I will treat you like the queen you are’’

↪ Lots of making out and sweet kisses

↪ Giggling all the time

 ↪ ALWAYS asking if you’re comfortable since he’s worried that he would hurt you

 ↪ ‘‘Are you sure you’re okay? Do I need to slow down?’’

↪ Sex in his new car, sex in the shower, sex at the beach, sex in the bath, sex against the wall… Literally everywhere as long as you’re okay with it

↪ You grabbing his muscular arms when you reach your climax

↪ Him grunting when he’s thrusting into you

↪ Offering blowjobs as favours

↪ Him saying ‘Babe, tonight is all about you’ but like, every night

↪ Neck kisses and leaving hickies there also

↪ He would get ten times more horny when he sees you getting an orgasm while closing your eyes

↪ Him whispering ‘come for daddy’ when holding your legs apart

↪ Multiple orgasms a night since he knows your body so well and the things you like

↪ Cuddling and more soft kisses afterwards and limbs tangled in the sheets

↪ Him calling you baby/babygirl/princess/love/darling

↪ So much intercourse

↪ Eating you out like everytime you guys have sex

↪ And when he does you stroke your hands through his fluffy hair

↪ Lots of ‘i love you’s

↪ Bruises on your hips from his tight grip

↪ You falling asleep on top of him after the sex

↪ Him being completely fine with that and whispering sweet nothings into your ear and stroking your back


I have so many Anduin feels

Clearly, if you couldn’t tell, and I wanted to write it down otherwise I feel like I might explode from emotions. This entire cinematic was beyond beautiful. Blizzard really went above and beyond in the artistic department - everything looked so damn -real-, which took my breath away. But the main thing that really struck with me is the fact that you can clearly see Anduin’s personality in this moment. So please excuse me, but there’s a lot of pics and a long opinion below the cut.


When we first see him, he’s got the lion helmet on, looking all badass. Even after he’s knocked off his feet, he gets back up and proceeds to go after the troll who tries to kill him, granting us this amazing image -

Looks like he’s channeling Varian to me. He’s standing all, big and trying to be imposing. And almost immediately after, they focus on his face, going from this -

- to this -

Look at him. Look at that face. This isn’t a life-long trained/skilled warrior. This isn’t a battle-hardened paladin who’s fought for years and years. This is a child, a teenager (WoWpedia says seventeen, and we all know how Blizzard is with lore, but it does sound about right), who has been shielded from the harshness of actual war for most of his life. War is brutal; war is dirty and cruel and this world has seen it constantly. And I don’t know how much time will have passed from Legion to this expansion, but regardless.

He looks so sad, almost out of place and worried, and just…-scared-. Like the sudden realization of what he’s in the middle of, of what he’s leading here - not Genn, not his father, him. He’s the one who’s leading the armies of the Alliance, thousands of soldiers against an army equally as powerful. Stormwind and the Alliance could fall in this moment and it would be his fault. And I think it all comes at him at once. This is what his father was talking about, it’s what he was trying to protect him from.

But this is Anduin we’re talking about. This isn’t a warmongering character, we all know how much he would prefer to solve things peacefully, and (I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Blizzard doesn’t totally and completely butcher his character of course) it must have been something to drive him to this point. Look - His mother died when he was a baby, his father was gone most of his life and was only around for a few precious years before he was killed, his ‘aunt’ Jaina has been MIA until lately and Velen is who knows where. I’m hoping we’ll get an answer to that between then and now, but my point is this - Anduin, High King of the Alliance, leader that everyone looks to for guidance and support, really doesn’t have a support system himself. He doesn’t have anyone he can really depend on. The only one who’s been shown to constantly be around is Genn, and whether for good or ill, I suppose it’s something, but it’s not enough. He’s probably been struggling to keep things together for a while. I doubt he’s been eating or sleeping much.

And what does he do, surrounded by death and destruction of hundreds of lives? We see that looks around the battlefield in a moment of calm and is clearly distressed by it. 


It’s in this moment that I think he really shines, no pun intended. We know what his father would do in this situation, we know what other characters would do. But Anduin is different, it’s what makes him so special in this game. He looks at his father’s sword, a sword of legend no less - 

You can see the confusion, the uncertainty, the self-doubt even now. Shalamayne responded to him yes, but you can absolutely see him still coming to terms with it. He still feels like he isn’t worthy of it.  
“I cannot do this father. I can’t be the hero you were. I can’t be the king you were…”

And no, he isn’t. That’s what I love him. He’s his own man, finally able to step up and make his own imprint on history. Because of that, I think it’s important to note the imagery of him throwing the sword back down - 


Something about this really strikes me not only as beautiful but incredibly moving as well. There is some very deep in this shot. He’s beginning to accept the fact that no, he isn’t his father. No, he isn’t a warrior. That isn’t his path. What does he do instead, then, when surrounded by injured and dying soldiers? Do what he does best, of course - 

Heal. Resurrect. Anduin has had an affinity with the Light that few have had before, especially humans. We know this and it’s really beautiful to finally see it in such a wonderful cinematic. I think it’s really touching that if you look closely you can even see tears in his eyes -

We know from lore that Anduin has resurrected his father before, which is something that happens so rarely in canon. Casting such a spell for one person would be difficult enough, but an entire army? That’s practically impossible. We also know that for a character to channel such a spell for a long period of time takes a lot of stamina and strength. It’s exhausting. But he doesn’t give up. He doesn’t stop to take a breather. He stands tall with the rejuvenated army surrounding him once more.

“Stand as one!”

Which just hearkens back to previous cinematics, I think. 

“What am I supposed to do now?”
“What a king -must- do.”


“For the Alliance!”

What I find most interesting is that he doesn’t say ‘For Azeroth!’ like his father in the previous expansion, he says Alliance. Which makes me wonder just what has happened to cause all of this. 

The point of all this rambling is this - Anduin Llane Wrynn has been underestimated both by other characters as well as players for too long. Many people call him names for wanting to find a peaceful way to solve problems and for some reason that’s a bad thing? I don’t understand it, but I’m so happy and proud to see him standing alongside us on the battlefield. This boy does not get enough credit and I’m glad they finally have let him do something amazing. He is much stronger than I think even he realizes, and I would love it if people would finally give him the love and recognition he deserves. 

Anduin is too good for this world and we don’t deserve him.

3

I AM NEVER GOING TO BE OVER THIS.

I am never going to be over Loki literally being the most decadent king he can, that he’s literally watching theatre in his bathrobe while eating grapes and drinking wine.  A play about himself, cast in the best possible light, just after we’ve seen the giant statue of him in the main thoroughfare.

I love it because it deliberately evokes thoughts of decadent, uncaring, selfish kings who laze around all day instead of actually tending to their kingdoms and neighbors, actually being leaders.  That this is backed up with Thor basically calling bullshit on the whole “leaving our neighbors their freedom” when they’re getting slaughtered (which we know happens when you take Asgard out of the picture, because that’s exactly what was happening at the beginning of TDW).

But it’s also contrasted against the themes of colonialism and how incredibly complicated a thing that is, the answer in these movies isn’t just to withdraw and keep to their own borders (as they were forced to do when the Bifrost was destroyed or when Loki wasn’t interested in paying attention to them) and contrasted against how nobody really seems to hate Loki anymore, if they ever did, even after the shit he pulled in the first movie.  The reaction to the reveal is a gasp of surprise and then an OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, LOKI.

I love it because it’s hilarious but also because it’s so purely Loki–he’s stable for awhile, but it all would have crashed out from under him, because Loki didn’t want to lead, he wanted to be adored.  He wanted the glory with none of the real sacrifice or hard work or boring parts.  The whole point of this scene is that Loki is not satisfied with what he thought he wanted, he’s not happy with having Odin’s position, he never expresses any real kind of regret at losing the kingship. He’s bored with it, that’s why he’s out there watching theatre instead of actually doing king things, that’s why he’s (briefly) more suited to Sakaar, where it’s all about backstabbing and outmaneuvering each other.

It’s even why he’s not ultimately satisfied with that, either.

He only ever wanted the throne to be seen, to be Thor’s equal in the eyes of Asgard.  He only ever wanted the throne to win, to prove a point.  Once he had it, it was boring and not what he actually wanted at all.  He doesn’t mourn the loss of it, by the end of the movie he knows he wasn’t suited to it and it wasn’t suited to him.  He can be something better now, something more.

He’s never going to be Thor, but he doesn’t have to be.  Thor is meant to be king, he will take to it in a way that Loki never would have, will bear up under it in a way that Loki never could.  There’s no jealousy in Loki when Thor is crowned king of the last of their people, when he takes the interim throne, because Loki was bored by it, he knows his own path better now.

I’m sure he’ll miss being able to direct his own fanfic plays (YOU KNOW HE WAS INVOLVED, “I didn’t do it for him.” wouldn’t have come from anyone but Loki), but there’s no reason he can’t tell it at the next Asgardian feast, because Loki doesn’t have to be king to have Asgard appreciate him (in a way that he understands, because Asgard never hated him, not the way he feared they did), doesn’t have to hide who he is or what he’s like, he can be on the right path for himself now.

He’ll probably still lounge around their ship and eat grapes while telling stories, though, because THAT IS 100% LOKI.

I feel like we often forget this through the punk!richie au and the portrayal of richie as a suave flirty bad boy (which is fun and i love it) but id like to remind you all, RICHIE TOZIER IS A FUCKING GEEK. He wears 4 inch thick glasses, does stupid voices, can’t tell a joke that doesn’t involve an insult, and talks about dicks a lot. he’s a fucking nerd. you think he’d be able to pull off a punk look in the canon book/movie? HA that bitch would be looking like a dog in a halloween costume. He wears his dumb tee shirts and old jeans and dirty converse and keds and we should romanticize that a little more cause i think thats fucking cute. Two dorks fuckking falling for each other. yes please. 

Richie glasses bumping eddies forehead when they kiss, but that stubborn bitch not wanting to taken them off cause then he won’t be able to see eddie. richie doing a lame ass english accent and stumbling over his words trying to flirt with eddie. Richie having acne and braces when he’s like 15 and getting shit for it but eddie still swoons for him.  richie giving up with flirting because he’s just so bad at it and literally just pining and being a shy nerd. richie being gangly and clumsy because he’s so tall an skinny and he shot up too fast. richie loving star wars and star trek and comic books because! he is a nerd! richie being shocked when eddie likes him because????? he is such a fucking nerd???? and cute ass eddie can do so much better??? than his acne plastered ass??? but eddie being like??? i too am a nerd richie, we are, by definition, losers, but ur my dork. I just wanted to share my love for canonically geeky Richie thx for tuning in folks.

one of the reasons why medieval English history is so well recorded is because we have almost all the financial account books from that time-period. Like not only did they write all that stuff down but it all survives for various reasons like England not having the kind of massive upheavals that result in a bunch of old records being lost or destroyed and the climate in the area doesnt disintegrate records over time etc.  In addition to telling you stuff like “oh a bunch of castles were being built in this area” you also get more personal stuff like “a lot of purchases registered under Queen Eleanor of Provence have to do with books whose titles indicate they are romantic stories about chivalry”  

One of the cool things about historiography at least when it comes to the area of biography is how you can take that bare information about money expenditure and interpret it into a larger narrative. Like later on Eleanor’s son King Edward I showed a strong personal attachment to the myths of King Arthur. There are political aspects to him being an Arthurian enthusiasts but a lot of historians also theorize that his mother must have read to him stories about Arthur when he was a child since she was a heavy purchaser of chilvaric books and records also show she usually stayed in the same place as her child when he was young. Afaik there’s nothing that explicitly says “I, King Edward, was read Arthurian stories by my other when I was little” but its a very realistic conjecture given the evidence. Its a pretty small and minor example and you dont need all that creative to draw that connection but I think it works as an example of how history involves detective work and how you can draw out  relatable personable humans from rather dry sources and can understand a 13th century English king or 17th century Thai diplomat from the perspective of them being real people

9

The Dragon Prince’s Heart and Winter Crowns

The scene intercutting Jon and Dany’s lovemaking with Rhaegar and Lyanna’s wedding suggested a certain parallel between the two love stories; however, the connection between them goes so much deeper. In the Dragonpit, the history of the Harrenhal Tourney literally repeats itself and the past meets the present as Rhaegar’s son unknowingly follows in his father’s footsteps to the point where Jon’s every action echoes Rhaegar’s. 

Both future-defining events taking place at once monumental buildings brought to ruins by dragons and hosting members of Great Houses, legends and heroes of their respective generations. And once again a Targaryen prince who declares for the queen of his heart for the whole world to see and makes all the smiles die. Just when everyone present expects him to accept Cersei’s offer, Jon shocks them when, like his father before him, he chooses a different queen - instead of doing the prudent thing, instead of conducting an illicit affair in private. At the Harrenhal Tourney, Rhaegar crowned Lyanna the Queen of Love and Beauty with a crown of winter roses, 25 years later their son bends his knee to Dany and figuratively lays his crown of the King in the North on her lap - a crown of the Kings of Winter - a love confession of his own. It’s as much as they can publicly show their devotion and admiration they have for these women. 

And just like Lyanna a lifetime ago, Dany sits on the gallery; Dany, a khaleesi, who is an expert horse rider just like Jon’s mother used to be; Dany, who like Lyanna fights for those who can’t defend themselves. In that sense, Jon falls for a woman that is so much like the mother he never knew, a woman so much like the one his father loved so dearly.

anonymous asked:

I love how people are worried for Phil doing his liveshow w/the phandom freaking out. Like, if Phil's the king of anything he's King of Avoiding Topics He Doesn't Want to Address in Live Streams. The man can and will talk about his favourite sweets for an hour. He *will* take 14 Buzzfeed quizzes in a row if necessary. Do Not Test Him

u rite……. u rite

youtube

17TH OF MAY SPECIAL

THE GUYS: Dab, dab, dab, dab, dab, dab!!

[HEY BRISKEBY]

MUTASIM: Yes, we love…* Today, it’s the 18th of May, so we’re going to have a, boom, 17th of May special.

ELIAS: What are you doing?

MUTASIM: Bro..

ELIAS: You know this is my Youtube channel, right? And then you come with this 17th of May stuff..

MUTASIM: Look, look, look how tired this guy is and I’m like fresh.

MIKAEL: He has a bowtie.

MUTASIM: Bowtie! I got this, understand?

MIKAEL: [Singing]

ELIAS: But what’s the thing with the 17th of May? Why do we celebrate the 17th of May?

Keep reading

I wonder why each little bird has a someone to sing to

i got a few requests for a companion piece to the gifts of beauty and song, my retold sleeping beauty fairytale, so here you go

so maleficent is the good fairy here, right, and the three fairies are the bad ones, so like fae do they each appear to be what they’re not. and aurora, given fae gifts and raised by fae, is nearly fae herself. maleficent knows that only an elf could hope to sway a fae heart, because elves are impervious to their glamour. maleficent kidnaps the young prince philip, and brings him to the elven realm. she tries to bargain a prince for a prince, but the king is unswayed. a human prince, he declared, is only worth an elvish servant, so that’s what she gets.

maleficent takes the servant and puts him in philip’s place, gives him that name, and watches as the servant elf is made a prince among mortals, watches as he eventually captures aurora’s heart, and saves her from her living death. watches as the elf servant turned prince becomes a king, as the almost-fae princess aurora becomes queen, and their two kingdoms become one and they rule the land of men together.

this, of course, begs the question – what happens to our dear human philip?

he is not the first child that has been bargained away to the elves, and elf queen thalia settles the young boy on her hip and raises an eyebrow at her husband, waiting. the child awakens by degrees, until he’s clutching her neck and blinking at the gathered elves. thalia is only grateful that he hasn’t started screaming, like so many of his kind do.

normally the children that are bargained to them are put to work in the castle, where they’re safe, where their clumsiness and their ignorance and their mistakes will be glossed over, where she and the king will ensure they will be politely ignored rather than harassed. they’ve lost a servant boy, and so she’s sure a servant boy is what this young human is meant to become.

except a woman of the court steps forward, and she’s old, old enough that it shows, that her curly hair has gone silver and wrinkles are etched deep in her face. lady ember is older than the forests they reside in, is older than her grandmother, than her great grandmother. everyone’s lost track of her exact age, but she’s the oldest elf in village. thalia likes her – she and lady ember have skin of the same dark shade. thalia hopes that if she is to live long enough, she and lady ember would look alike.

“i would like the child,” she says, eyes like amber, and for the moment she appears younger than she ever has. there’s something eager in her, and it brings a life to her that thalia hasn’t seen in a long time.

thalia looks to her husband, and king celedor gives a minuscule twitch to his lip which is an equivalent to a shrug. she sets the young human on the ground, and ember holds out a single hand. the child looks behind him, then in front him, and takes cautious steps forward. he steps until he can take her hand, his own looking small and pale in hers. “it’s been a long time since i was able raise a child,” ember says, “i would like to do so again. will you come home with me?”

and thalia understands. elf children take many hundreds of year to mature, and ember would not risk dying on a child before it could take care of itself. but humans are candles that burn at both ends – hot, and fast. within a decade or two the child in front of them will be able to survive on his own, will not need lady ember to coddle him for centuries.

he nods, and finally opens his mouth to say, “i am philip.”

“hello philip,” lady ember smiles, “i am lady ember of the mother tree. now you are lord philip of the ember tree.”

they are elves. they don’t do something as gauche as gasp, but the sentiment comes out just the same. celedor’s mouth drops open a millimeter and thalia’s right index finger twitches. raise a human child like a beloved pet they could all understand – but to adopt one, to truly adopt one that she’d just met and didn’t know and bequeath to him the estate and title the noble name of the mother tree?

lady ember leads her new son away, and the gathered elves can do nothing but stare.

~

prince elion – eli, to everyone who doesn’t want the prince of the elves nursing a personal grudge against them – comes home in the dead of night, when he can slip past the guards and the fawning people on the street and sneak into the royal quarters.

“mother,” he greets as he enters the library. his father sleeps early, but his mother doesn’t go to bed until nearly dawn. he kneels by her side, and she runs a hand through his hair, tugging the leather tie off when it gets in her way. his mass of dark curly hair tumbles around his head, and as he shakes it out leaves other debris fall out. thalia sighs, but doesn’t remark on it.

“your hunt went well?” she asks, although she knows the answer. eli is one of the best hunters in the kingdom, and his hunting parties – comprised of the strongest and best among the noble families – are notoriously profitable.

he grins, teeth extra white against his skin, “of course, mother. did anything interesting happen while i was away?”

“the faerie maleficent came and bargained away a human prince,” she says, “she wanted you in return. your father gave her a servant boy instead.”

eli laughs, too loud and boisterous, in a way he would never allow himself to laugh around his father or his subjects.

~

philip thinks perhaps he should be screaming, or crying, or causing some sort of fuss about this new life and this old woman who insists she’s his mother now. but he’s never had a mother before, and this new place is beautiful. they live in palace carved out of an enormous tree – the mother tree that their name comes from – and philip is given a lot more freedom as an elf lordling than he was as a prince.

he hopes the boy who took his place is nice to his father, and doesn’t mind long evenings with only the servants for company. being a prince can be very lonely. he knows from experience.

ember gives him rooms and toys, but warns him that he has a lot of work ahead of him. as a human, he’s at a severe disadvantage here at the elf court. elves are faster than humans, stronger and smarter and wiser. “it sounds to me,” philip says, “that maybe they’re just older. if i had hundreds of years, I could be all those things too.” ember’s eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles, and he returns it.

philip knows hard work. he was set to rule a whole nation, was set to lead whole armies. he knows training and learning and patience. learning to become an elf lord seems like it will be a lot easier than being a human king.

lady ember and her servants are harsh, but fair. in their home, in the mother tree, he is a pampered lord. out of it, however – he acquires many scars from training, from falling and failing. ember and her staff run him ragged into the ground, because he must be able to keep up with elves.

they have hundreds and hundreds of years to practice, to become strong and smart and fast. philip doesn’t have that long, so his mother forces him to do more, train harder, learn faster than would be expected of any elf.

so he learns. the first time he beats his trainer at an archery competition, he feels a swell of pride like nothing he’s felt before. as he inches his way to the level of his teachers, and then surpasses them, the feeling stays.

they’ve always been kind to him. but as his skill grows, they come to respect him, and that’s far more valuable.

~

eli hears of the human that lady ember of the mother tree took as her own – of course he does, it’s all anyone can talk about. but he doesn’t actually get a chance to see the boy, because lady ember keeps him safe on her lands, in her tree that none of them dare trespass on. so he assumes, like many, that she keeps him coddled and safe, away from those who would seek him harm, away from a world that would seek him harm.

then, two decades from when she gave young philip her name, lady ember finds him at court. she tilts her head, and he bows. he may be higher in rank, but he was raised to respect his elders, and lady ember is certainly that. “prince eli,” she says, “your next hunt is coming up, isn’t it?”

“yes, my lady,” he answers, wondering if she has a request. he doesn’t mind tracking down a certain type of meat or pelt for her – he likes the challenge, and likes lady ember.

she smiles at him, and for some reason he feels as if he’s staring into the jaws of a dragon. “excellent. might my son join you? he grows bored of hunting on his own.”

the last thing in the world eli wants to do is keep an eye on a bumbling, spoiled human. but this human is also the lord of the mother tree, and he can think of no response that wouldn’t bring his mother’s wrath down on his head. “of course, lady ember.”

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anonymous asked:

Hi can I have an billy Hargrove imagine where the reader is sweet and shy and the only one that can calm him down when he goes crazy pretty please !! Thank you!!

Summary: You’re the last person anyone would ever expect to be able to calm down Billy Hargrove when he’s in a mood, but you’re also the only person capable of doing it.
Pairing: Reader x Billy Hargrove.
Fandom: Stranger Things.
Warnings: Fighting.
Word Count: 1034

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I see a lot of stuff about Neil not knowing how to cook and stuff but I feel like that boy would be such a survival master. He can’t make anything fancy but if there’s at least 3 ingredients in the fridge he can make dinner. Got a hole in your clothes? He can sew it pretty fast. How to get from point a to point n the fastest? Neil already has three doable routes in mind. Need to know how to make literally anything last longer? Neil. Neil can do the most sketchy, ghetto, not-entirely-sure-if-it’s-really-actually-fixed repair jobs. Paired with Andrew, who through the foster system learned many of the same skills, this team here is the most likely to survive any apocalypse.

Context: Currently our four person party has split up to try and find information on how to contact the Matrons of the underground city we are in, as they are the only ones who can help us try and get our bodies back. Karlie, a previous half-elf, now dwarf ranger and Salt, a previous dragon-born, now wood elf witch (me) have reached a brothel where after a few questions, we now have a lead on were they can find one of the Matrons son. Previously, due to the body swap, Salt has lost her son, which due to her witch archetype of Matriarch, she needs a child to get advantage on saving throws and ability checks. So this is where I decide to try and remedy that

Karlie (OOC): So are we done here?

Salt (OOC): Wait hold up. (In character, to the Brothel owner) Excuse me, I have an odd request.

DM: Certainly! We have plenty fine specimen here to help you with any needs you may have.

Salt: Alright, well to be frank I just need sperm? 

The entire party starts to laugh.

Salt: You see I have no need for physical pleasures and I just need to get pregnant so…

DM: Well I’ll show what we have and then you can decide, hmm?

Karlie: *completely done with me already* I’m staying here!

After a brief conversation, and seeing as I seem uninterested in the men the owner has shown me, the DM then says.

DM: Well, we do have one more, (she laughs,OOC) okay so the Owner of the Brothel leads you upstairs to a large suite, with a round king size bed in the center. On that bed is a completely naked dragon-born who is in a “paint me like one your french girls” pose with a sheet covering his crotch.

I start to cackle as the guy who plays Karlie screams into his hands.

Salt: Oh yes definitely this guy. Okay so do you have a bucket he can just jack and go in?

DM (OOC): You’re gonna have to role disadvantage for the bucket.

Salt: Oh, um (OOC) I need a second opinion. I go get Karlie and bring him upstairs.

Karlie (OOC): NO

Salt: So I don’t know what to do here, and I need to get pregnant, but I don’t want to do him.

Karlie: If you won’t do him I will.

Salt (OOC): *Laughing* okay, fine, I do it.

DM: Do you role to have a good time?

Salt (OOC): Okay sure. *roles a 18*

DM: You have a VERY good time.

Karlie (OOC): Karlie is just sobbing into his hands downstairs. 

Salt (OOC): So am I pregnant?

DM: Yeah, congratulations!

I cheer and fist bump the air as the Karlie player lays his head on the table.  

Fast forward to the final boss fight, Karlie pulls a card from his Deck of Many Things. The party seeing the DM smile, fear the worst.

DM: Okay I can’t believe I’m doing this but Karlie flings his card down onto the ground and there is a bright flash of light and there stands Salt’s baby daddy, completely naked, because you pulled the summon a level four fighter. 

I die of laughter as Karlie’s player actual dies.

Terrible Twos(Batboys)

Bruce:

  • Okay let’s get something straight.
  • This man has only had to take care of kids from like 10 and up.
  • He never had to deal with an actual child.
  • Jesus Christ this man is so unprepared.
  • And with his genes, it’s probably much worse.
  • But hey, you’re the best at hide & seek.
  • If you thought he didn’t sleep before that oohh boy.
  • He’s probably crying internally.
  • Screaming children are not his thing
  • But let’s get another thing straight,
  • He still loves you.
  • With all his damn heart.
  • And he will do his best to protect you and make you feel loved.
  • He probably reads every parenting book he can find
  • Before eventually going to Alfred.
  • And man Alfred is a f**king champ.
  • He knows everything.
  • Meanwhile everyone is panicking and frantically searching for you, Alfie over here just casually pulls the cabinets open and picks you up.
  • “Aren’t you a curious little lad/lady? Just like your father.
  • (I think this turned into an alfred headcanon lmao)
  • Alfred helps Bruce set the bed time(god does this man even know what a bed time is??)
  • He also help with proper foods.
  • But let me tell ya.
  • No matter how busy Bruce is, no matter where he is, he manages to always read a bedtime story, and wish you sweet dreams.
  • If anyone were to ever hurt you, whether it be emotional, physical, or mentally, he will give them hell.

Dick:

  • My oh my
  • My boy has so many nicknames for you.
  • And they’re all weird as heck.
  • Every weekend he steals you(no, literally jumps through your window and kidnaps you) for a playdate.
  • Takes you out for icecream and to the amusement park a lot
  • You’re spoiled rotten because of this guy.
  • Honestly is probably the easiest to bond to.
  • But he doesn’t spoil you too much.
  • At some point in time, Alfred puts his foot down.
  • Movie nights of Disney are frequent.
  • So many recordings of his baby sister singing and dancing.
  • If Bruce somehow isn’t able to read to you, he’s over in a flash with 3 books, reading them to you. 
  • Later, when Bruce is back, he reads to you the next night.

Jason:

  • Probably has so many shirts with funny texts on them
  • “Touch my sister punk and I’ll knock ya into next week”
  • Carries you around everywhere.
  • All his teammates coo at you.
  • Meanwhile Bruce is having yet another heart attack.
  • One time he found you with his helmet on wobbling and trying to act like him.
  • He dies(again)
  • Tough Brother TM
  • He babies you though.
  • Like if you cry 11/10 times he spoils you.
  • He just doesn’t like seeing his sister cry.
  • Bizzaro loves playing with you though.
  • He makes sure not to be rough when playing though.
  • AFTER ALL YOU ARE JUST THE TINIEST HUMAN HE HAS EVER SEEN

Tim:

  • Surprisingly, it isn’t Bruce or Dick who are the first to be there when you have a nightmare.
  • He’s always there.
  • He is so overprotective too.
  • Sets extra cameras around your room and the manor.
  • So when you stir awake from a nightmare, he stops what he’s doing and sits down with you, bringing his laptop with him to continue working.
  • Bruce walked one time to find you both passed out next to each other.
  • You were clinging to his hair but Tim did not care at all.
  • “TIM MOVE YOUR COFFEE!!”
  • “Oh….oH SHIT DON’T DRINK THAT
  • Lets you sit on his lap while he’s working.
  • One time you actually helped him with his work.
  • He couldn’t figure out a code and he was almost there and you pressed on of the keys and YAY code solved.
  • Still to this day thinks it’s coincidence. It probably was but-
  • He can never be mad at you though. Like, sometimes you’ll get into things an he just sighs and moves you away.
  • Don’t get me wrong though, he does tell you that what you did was bad.

Damian:

  • “They are my blood sibling therefore we have more connection and I’m of more importance to them”
  • Yeah okay Dami.
  • Dude your room is like, overflowing with pets.
  • I mean you as a kid appreciate it but Bruce cannot keep track of every animal to feed, and how to keep Jason from not eating them, and jesus christ is that another chicken-
  • “What do you mean she can’t hold a sword?”
  • DAMIAN SHE’S TWO
  • If you show him your drawing he gives honest criticism.
  • You probably don’t understand half of what he’s saying.
  • So you giggle and move on.
  • He keeps all of your drawings though.
  • He shows them off to Jon a lot.
  • Jon gives him a confused look but enjoys them nonetheless.
  • “Dami!”
  • “YOU HEAR THAT SHE SAID MY NAME PEASANT SCUM!!”
  • LANGUAGE
  • “Scum!!”
  • DAMN IT DAMIAN
Jonerys in 7.07 and Beyond :)

Okay so I have gotten a steady flow of asks both positive and worried after the finale so I thought I would just post one, big analysis of Jonerys in the finale for anyone interested in my take on things!

First of all I just want to establish that I loved this episode and it is my favorite of the season. There was much more to love than Jonerys here, but they are what I will focus on for this particular post, and I think this episode solidified their love in a major and lasting way. This is giant so I used a cut. 

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