the kids are watching come on

Sometimes I feel like we forget that most of us can differentiate between literal children and literal adults, so when we call draft prospects “kids” we don’t mean that they’re literally kids. Like as someone who does watch junior hockey, I call them the babies/kids now and then bc they’re well…often a lot younger than NHL players. But me calling them kids offhand doesn’t mean that I’m gonna let shit slide like I can call one of them a kid and still hold them accountable as an adult when it comes to actual srs bsns

anonymous asked:

This probably isn't something I should ask but there's been this thing going on on tumblr called MAP positivity. MAP stands for "Minor Attracted Person". I'm sure you've heard about it. If not, basically what the MAP positivity community is trying to do is normalize paedophilia. They're saying that being attracted to children is okay. Just wanted to ask your stance on this. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

I think they should all choke ☺️ Also, how come they’re not being reported for publicly stating they’re attracted to children like, what the fuck, put them all on some kind of watch list and ban them from using the internet. There’s so many kids on here, and they’re young and impressionable, the absolute last thing they need is some fucking weirdos talking about how paedophilia is A Okay. Nah, that’s bullshit and maybe tumblr should spend more time deleting those accounts and reporting the people running them to authorities, than it has censoring LGBT positive posts as “sensitive material”

i had to call out of work, first time in the year and a half ive had this job i have only been late once and NEVER called out before, so i texted my manager and explained that some family was in a car wreck and i wouldnt b able to come in bcuz i have to watch kids/pets while the adults r n the hospital and all i get from my manager is an ‘ok’

like, this fake ass southern matriarch goes to church and bible study and hates gays and believes in a fiery hell but her ass wont even hmu w an ‘ok, wishing you and yours well’ or some shit

TALK ABOUT SOME FAKE ASS CHRISTIAN BULLSHIT. 

on a side note tho the two guys who stopped to help at the wreck and took time out of their day to drive my cousin and his gf’s dog over to my family’s house? bomb ass human beings and i love those two stoner/90′s surfer dude/hippie lookin motherfuckers

anonymous asked:

Is tumblr YouTube now? Lmao. A youtuber that I watch, his coming out video was blocked for minors in YouTube. Yet things such as "Queer Kid Stuff" which teaches //toddlers// what asexual or pansexual means, are perfectly fine. Censorship is not right at all.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Yeah, it’s ridiculous because most of the things they’re censoring isn’t even worth censoring in the first place. But I can also see why they did it because there are a lot of porn and spam blogs on this site that nobody wants to see in the first place. Right now it’s a flawed system and clearly, needs a lot more work before they just shove it on everybody without warning. And, they should make it optional for everybody, not just for people over 18.

anonymous asked:

Hey can I get fics where Liam or Zayn are single fathers and the other comes into their life and they become really close and and end up adopting the child or they don't have to basically just sappy kid fics my heart melts for them

you got the right girl for this cuz i LIVE for kid fics haha here you go

Billy Jean

We Could be More Than Just Amazing (series)

Good Love is on the Way

Maybe My Heart

Out of the woods

Glass houses full of stone 

Room for Two

Slow and High Tempo

watch you on the red horizon

You Made me Love You

(they say home) is where you go to rest your bones

these amber words on our fingertips

Luck.

Clouds in a Bug Net

Every Step

Be cruel to me (‘cause I’m a fool for you)

You’re The Shining Distraction That Makes Me Fly

the beauty of this mess

You Never Give Up On Me

take this sinking boat and point it home

Run For the Woods Now (series)

Too Good Is True

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

So I just did a post about how I manage my time and my daily schedule and such, and I felt like this part is really important and was getting lost in the minutiae of my day, so I made it a separate post. I was talking about various ways in which my life is not necessarily “normal”, like how I go to bed at 7:30, which people treat as one of my eccentricities, and rightly so. But while it is weird it speaks to the crux of my life philosophy, which I’ve spoken about before as regards dealing with anon hate:

My time and attention are finite resources and they have a value I can bestow where I wish. If something is not necessary to survive, does not solve a problem, or does not provide joy, I stop doing it.

I pay my bills and do my dishes and wash my clothes because you have to do those things. I engage in activism and try to stay current on the news because I believe I have a moral duty to contribute to society, and I run because it’s good for my heart and my body. I have friendships, engage in fandom, play the ukulele, write, go to concerts and movies and art galleries because it brings me joy to do so.

Going to bed early solves a problem for me: I wasn’t doing anything useful with that time anyway, I wasn’t enjoying myself or feeling happy. If I wasn’t getting any benefit from that time, how could I put it to better use? Sleeping is beneficial, so I tried that, and it worked; I get more sleep and I don’t miss anything I can’t catch up with. Work doesn’t make me especially happy or fulfill me in ways we could all wish, but that’s okay. Work is necessary to survive, so I do it. I don’t date much because I tried dating semi-recently and the promise of future joy did not outweigh the lack of joy that dating itself brought to my life; it was painful, ugly, and boring, and so I stopped doing it. 

The dating thing may change in the future, if eventually the promise of a relationship becomes more enticing, but it’s an example of how the pursuit of happiness is non-standard, and you are allowed to weigh the cost against the payoff based on your own personal feelings, not on society’s dictates. Because it turns out when you are doing what makes you happy, when you feel joy, you could give two shits about what everyone else thinks should make you happy. 

Sometimes, what brings me joy is sitting on the couch listening to a podcast I’ve already heard ten times and playing a stupid mindless flash game; I often catch myself thinking “I could be doing something more useful, something cooler, something more active” and remind myself “But this is making me happy, and it’s what I’m capable of doing right now.”

“Does this make me happy” or, if you’re struggling with happiness, “Does this calm and soothe me” is a great metric for what you should be doing in life when you are on your own time. It’s a good way to check in with yourself and lead yourself towards a more fulfilling life on your own terms. 

If you are out at a bar with friends, stop and ask, does this make me happy? Because there is no way in which asking that does not help. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy and if it’s the only time you see your friends, maybe it’s time for a change; you are now free to pursue something that will make you happy. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy but your friends do, and this is one way to bond with them of many, then it’s a cost with a later benefit, and you’ve now become conscious that while you aren’t happy right this minute, you are paying into future joy. And if you like being out at a bar with friends and are having a good time, then you’ve reaffirmed to yourself that you are happy and this is where you want to be. And affirming that you are feeling joy is a great thing to do. 

You don’t have to be happy all the time – but on your own time, when work and chores and the duties of the day are done, you should devote yourself to finding joy in whatever form that takes, be it a nap or a party or a date or your kids or, I don’t know, watching people make fake food on YouTube. 

Believing that your time and attention have value and should only be bestowed on the worthy means coming to believe that you have value, which is so hard to do that I’ll take any shortcut I can get. Devoting your time time and attention only to what is necessary or what is pleasurable means learning a great deal about what you value, and I truly believe leads you to a more fulfilled life.

So when people ask me about time management, I have real tips and tricks to offer – but I think the most important think I can offer is the suggestion that whatever time you have, you should believe it has value because it is yours, and you should direct it appropriately. 

3

❝ She’s pretty rad. Rose is a maintenance worker in the Resistance. And for me growing up, one of the things as a kid in Colorado watching these movies; you feel like [you’re in them]. Watching Luke Skywalker kind of get pulled out of wherever he is and be this unlikely hero. The notion that anyone out there, any of us can step up and turn into a hero. I think this is why people responded to Rey also. That’s really kind of where the character Rose comes from. She is not a soldier, she’s not looking to be a hero and she gets pulled in a very big way into an adventure in this movie with Finn. And Kelly just embodies that for me. ❞ [Rian Johnson’s description of the new character Rose Tico at The Last Jedi Panel of SWCO]

the wardrobe

James: Look at him being all “I’m a cool teacher”. Wanker.

Lily: Shut up you are just jealous.

James: Jealous? Jealous?! He became everything we hated Lils.

Lily: You are as dramatic as Sirius today Jamie.

James: Ooh, the Longbottom kid is first, I bet he is afraid of Augusta, Merlin knows Frankie was.

Lily: Did he just say-

James: Oh yes he did. That bastard bullied that kid so much, he became his biggest fear.

Lily: I- I’m-

James: I’m so excited! He is gonna make Snivellus look like Augusta, I remember that red handbag!

*Wands at the ready, Remus opens the wardrobe Snape walks out*

Lily: *watching warily* He looks so different, like he is taller.

James: It’s because the poor kid is scared of him shitless, Riddikulus Neville come on.

*Riddikulus and Snape is now wearing Augusta’s clothes*

James: *doubles over laughing* Moony– You– legend.

Lily: *tries not to laugh, fails* If Severus hears this–

James: *still laughing* Moony doesn’t give a fuck.

Lily: *grinning* I can see that.

James: Merlin– that hat. It suits him well. *tries to regulate his breath*

Lily: *smiling* That smirk on Harry’s face is all too familiar. 

James: Like father, like son.

*Boggart morphs into a mummy in front of Parvati*

James: That Parvati girl did well! 

Lily: Oh my– Seriously Seamus, a banshee?

James: I mean, kid has a point, that thing is scary.

*Dean walks up to the wardrobe*

Lily: A severed hand, like the one from the Addams Family?

James: From the what?

Lily: Don’t worry about it, Muggle thing. 

James: I know most Muggle things.

Lily: *disappointed* I never had the time to show you this one.

James: *changes the subject* Oh, Ronniekins of course has spiders for Boggarts.

*Harry walks up to the wardrobe, wand at the ready, looking excited*

Lily: It’s Harry’s turn, what if–

James: It wouldn’t assume his form Lils

Lily: But

*Remus throws himself in front of the Boggart*

Lily: Of course, it’s the full moon. 

James: The one thing he is scared of. 

Lily: He probably thought what we thought, still protective of the fawn.

James: Well, of course he is, don’t you remember how scared he was when he first held him?

Lily: *with a smile* Of course, I do

James: Well at least there’s someone who’s looking out for him now.

Lily: Soon, he will have Sirius back, too.

James: If the idiot doesn’t get himself locked up for committing the murder he was locked up for.

Lily: Well, that’s a possibility but Remus is sensible, I trust him.

*cue to the scene where Remus says “together” and Lily just stares at the camera like she’s in the office*

Lily: Have you ever seen a Boggart?

James: Yeah, once when I was 18 and I couldn’t do shit until my mum came and found me.

Lily: What did you see?

James: All of you guys were de-

Lily: *looking away* Oh, I- I see.

James: Those are foul creatures Lils, I’m actually glad Moony stopped Harry from facing his Boggart. 

Lily: Me, too. 

anonymous asked:

does tony think of peter as a son?

probably not consciously. he treats him kind of like a son sometimes, but that’s not very unusual for tony. tony has to be watched closely or he adopts stray genius children everywhere he goes.

 mostly it’s pretty long distance–he emails and videocalls them, sets up scholarships, funds research, talks them through school problems, introduces them to employers… i know for a fact that at least half of the starkphone beta testers are sleep-deprived students across the country who tony has run into at some convention or facility tour and decided to keep. some of them come to work at Stark Industries eventually, but a fair number go into other fields.

he has a strange ability to pinpoint exactly which kid in any given cluster is an untapped well of talent looking for mentoring. we have a number of bets running on if he’s doing it consciously or not. 

either way, he does it a lot.

he’s not very cuddly or touchy-feely with them, and he gets hilariously defensive if you poke him about it, but he’s actually a really good mentor, and he does really care. i mean, sometimes he uses the ‘do the exact opposite of what i would do’ method of role modelling, but…

Dirty Dancing

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Hoseok (J-Hope)

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 5,242

Summary:  It’s the summer and all you want to be doing is hanging out with your friends. Your parents have other ideas and when you end up at a resort in the middle of the mountains, the only bright thing in sight is the dance instructor, Hoseok. If only said dance instructor didn’t seem to completely hate you.

Originally posted by jimins-bunss

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fuckboy » jjk » m

» request: nope

» genre: smutttttt

» author’s note: i was hoping to be able to get to 5k words, but unfortunately that didn’t happen :’) anyways, i still think this is the longest scenario i’ve written which i’m kind of proud of tbh ?? i really like this one and i hope you all do too! feel free to request any sort of au scenarios and i’ll be sure to write it !

» word count: 4.3k+

» warnings: fuckboy jungkook, sexting, phone sex, oral (female receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, unprotected sex

**nsfw under the cut

You sigh to yourself as you collect the randomly discarded articles of Jimin’s clothing scattered through the house. You roll your eyes as you grasp a pair of his underwear, tossing them into the basket which has now grown heavy with the weight of his dirty laundry. “Seriously, Chim, is it that hard to pick up your clothes?” You ask as you walk into the living room, picking up an old t-shirt from the back of the couch; you stop in your tracks once you finally look up.

“Sorry, Y/N.” Jimin flashes you a sheepish smile, but you are no longer worried about him. Your eyes travel to the other person in the room, Jeon Jungkook; he leans casually against the wall, taking a sip from a bottle of water. “Have you met Jungkook?” Jimin asks you casually, flicking through the channels on the television as you glare at his friend.

“I don’t think so,” you say truthfully; you’ve never met Jeon Jungkook, but you’ve heard of him, many times. Most recently, his antics had been called to your attention by a close friend of yours, and to make a long, long story short: Jeon Jungkook is a fuckboy.

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Let Me Help

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. Anon: hey! I really love your blog and I was wondering if you could do a reid x reader where the reader has a wet dream about Spencer and she finally tells him about her dream after he asks her what’s wrong and it ends in smut?? thank you so much

Word Count: 3,589, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex.

A/N: Oh my God okay so I went a little crazy on this one and it’s a full fledged long fic. I was writing this and I actually needed to take a break my palms were sweating because Reid is so fucking hot. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you want a Part 2 ;)

- M xo

(Gif not mine, credit to owner)

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Sprawled out on your bed, your naked form was being admired and touched by a handsome man. He glided his fingers up and down the sides of your thighs as he placed sensual kisses on your stomach. “God, you’re so beautiful.”, whispered Spencer. 

Wait what? Spencer? Hold on. Did you just have a wet dream about your nerdy co-worker?

You woke up in your bed covered in sweat as you tried to calm down your flustered state as you panted heavily trying to vaguely recollect the memories of the dream you had just had. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact, it was amazing. You squeezed your thighs together in hopes of some sort of relief, but all you could do was think about the dream, which made your state even worse.

You sat there in silence as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. You’d been working at the BAU for 4 years now and you had never thought of Spencer that way. Sure he was tall, had gorgeous chiselled cheekbones and never failed to amaze you with his intelligent brain. Oh, God. Here you were thinking inappropriately about your co-worker at 3 in the morning when you had to be in for work at 7. There was no way you were going to act normal in front of him after this strange yet intoxicating image of you and Spencer practically having sex ingrained in your brain. All you could do was try to get back to sleep and hope that the flush would be over in the morning.

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{Season 2, Episode 14 - The Lazy Genie}

THIS PART WAS SO PURE I HAVE NO WORDS. THE KIDS LOVE THEIR LAZY DAD TOO MUCH TO HAVE HIM GONE FOREVER. IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT IS BEAUTIFUL IDK WHAT IS

I THINK I HAVE INVESTED TOO MUCH INTO THIS SHOW BECAUSE I AM TEARING UP THIS IS SO SWEET?!

anonymous asked:

you said you had a lot planned for the 'shiro dad adopts cat boy au'? like headcanons And stuff? that au gives melife... so.. could I hear some? please? :D

Sure!! I’m not sure when I’ll get the chance to draw stuff for it so heres a few things I had planned for it :-)

1. Keith was (accidentally?) brought back on a mission and it wasn’t long before Shiro caught wind around the Garrison of the little Galra boy that no one was exactly sure what to do with. When he saw the tiny scared kid behind the glass of the examination room he saw Keith for exactly what he was, just a tiny scared kid, and he convinced the lead as to why it would be in everyones best interest if Keith could come home with him and be raised, then study at the Garrison later on. He did believe in what he was saying, but in all honesty his heart just sank for the boy, and he couldn’t bear to leave him trapped alone in a sterile white room while people of questionable concern decided his fate. 

Keith takes awhile to warm up to Shiro, but Shiro doesn’t give up on him. A few weeks later Shiro brings Keith back for a check up and Keith throws a temper tantrum with a force Shiro has never witnessed before, but he does everything he can to reassure him that he’s not going anywhere, he still gets to come home with him. Keith clings with a vice grip to Shiro’s shirt the ENTIRE time, and after the poor baby’s long day, he falls asleep on Shiro on the ride home. Watching Keith relaxed on him, with his little chest gently rising and falling, Shiro realizes just how much he loves this kid.

And now Shiro is not only newly thrust into single fatherhood, but with a purple alien baby none the less. And unfortunately for him, theres no wikihows on how to raise Galra kids. 

2. Keith chews on things to self-soothe. Just about everything he can get his mouth on, but his chewing objects of choice are usually Shiro’s shirts. Poor Shiro’s wallet has taken a hit because of it, as new tiny holes seem to appear on all of his t-shirts every time he does laundry.

3. They sleep on the same futon! Because its cute, and Keith very attached to Shiro

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