hi, i'd like to ask you something. what do you think when people say that dramione is an abusive ship? is it?
Well, look, let’s be realistic, JKR did not provide Draco a redemption arc in the books because she doesn’t like him as a character. We as a fandom give him that arc to create a basis for a romance that is sort of there (there’s definitely a basis, i.e. some shared evidence of intellect and his obvious fixation with her in canon), but we definitely do fill in the blanks to make it palatable. We assume he grows up; we assume he realizes the consequences of his actions. There’s no question that we definitely do ‘fix’ him, within the construct of our shared imaginations, to make the pairing work.
However, just for the record, let me point out something I consider very important: almost all the relationships that do exist in the books have major problems of their own.
for example, *clears throat*
- Ginny dates other people specifically so that Harry will notice her, instead of genuinely trying to live her own life. (“I never really gave up on you,” she said. “Not really. I always hoped… Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.” HBP)
- Tonks does a variety of things I don’t think are healthy
- Ron is incredibly petty with Hermione, as we know (”’Obvious, isn’t it? He’s Karkaroff’s student, isn’t he? He knows who you hang around with… He’s just trying to get closer to Harry - get inside information on him - or get near enough to jinx him -’ … Hermione looked as though Ron had slapped her.” GoF) Not to mention, of course, that he leaves her, which is just not a great move and generally unforgivable in my book even when you are under the influence of an evil wizard’s soul
- Bill and Fleur, possibly one of my favorites of the canon relationships, begins with Fleur staring at Bill from afar (”Fleur Delacour, Harry noticed, was eyeing Bill with great interest over her mother’s shoulder.” GoF) and then getting to date him later, which - DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?? (aka see Ginny and Harry above)
- Severus’ fixation on Lily while also being cruel to her son is a terrible example of love even in the most favorable light, which I really don’t want to get into right now but I think we can all agree that it’s Suspect
- James and Lily is actually pretty suspect too, unless you fill in the holes; trust me, I love Jily, and I fucking adore James, and we assume he got better over time, but that’s also us creating a presumed truth that doesn’t have a lot of basis in canon aside from Sirius and Remus (his two best friends) assuring Harry that he wasn’t so bad
… and the thing is that it’s fine that these relationships are all so problematic because Joanne Rowling is not a romantic writer and Harry Potter is not a romantic series. So is dramione problematic? sure. but so’s everything else, really, and to sit here and decide which ships are abusive or not is quite frankly a fool’s endeavor, because the series really wasn’t meant to teach us much about romantic love. It is a study on good and evil, on magic as power, on prejudices in society, on humanity, morality, and love as a generality, but it is not a how-to guide on having healthy romantic relationships.
So basically, my point here is that we make what we want out of our pairings. We ship what we ship and we like what we like, and thus, in conclusion,
TL;DR: haters gon’ hate. Ship and let ship!