the inside of a dead horse

Our old friend Bauer Media Group

Not to beat a dead horse but….

“Simon was the first to speak to Louis after the arrest and told him he’d do whatever it took to ensure his career - and reputation as a whole - remained unscathed,” an insider told Britain’s Closer magazine. “Simon sees Louis as a second son and the pair is incredibly close. Simon’s told him he’ll have the best PR team behind him and has even offered to attend meetings with lawyers to ensure he has the best representation money can buy.”

“First and foremost, Louis wants to ensure that this doesn’t affect Freddie, who remains his priority,” the source added. “He loves being a dad more than anything and doesn’t want to upset the balance with Briana.”

Don't Tell Me What To Do

I work at what is essentially a hardware store. This particular store has a policy that all animals are aloud inside on a leash, so not only do we get dogs and cats, we also get tons of farm animals like goats and pigs and once in a while a mini horse. All the employees love it and carry treats in their pockets and management doesn’t care if we pet or play with the animals as long as we aren’t ignoring other customers and they actually encourage it because it’s good for building customer relationships

Anyways, I had a closing shift today and the store was dead. I literally only checked out 50 people, when the daily average is closer to 300, so everything was cleaned and put away and ready to go super early. My dad stopped by to say hi on his way home from work and he brought my dog with him because she loves car rides and gets super excited every time she sees me at work. So it’s 3 hours to close and I was petting my dog and deep cleaning the counters and talking to my dad and I literally had not had a customer in an hour.

Cue two guys marching in the store and messing stuff up. They walk through my dirt piles and track mud and manure all over the store and spill feed and mess up the bulk hardware. They mess up the clothes that I had just fixed and leave piles of jeans and shirts on the floor and walk all over them. They pick up a dozen bags of blasting grit (you know how when you go to the beach you find sand in your crevices days later? That’s basically what the blasting grit does) and they lug them around the store. The bags are always leaking so they leave a trail of grit through the entire store (and it’s a nightmare to clean up. It’s like glitter and sand had a child that was raised by Lucifer himself). After a couple hours they finally come up to the register and I start ringing them up. They are super rude and obnoxious and I’m trying my hardest not to lose my temper and they keep calling me ‘baby’ and 'sugar’ and standing too close and they keep touching me and being awful. All of this combined is making me super anxious, which my dog picks up on (I’ve trained her to notice and help when I have panic attacks) so she walks over and pokes her nose through the gap between the register gate and the back and whines. While I’m waiting for the guys to swipe their card I reach over and pet her nose to let her know that I’m ok and one of the guys glares at me and shouts 'Don’t you dare pet that dog! You can’t pet that dog!’ And I just lost it because wtf? I dropped my fake smile and my customer voice and said “That’s my fucking dog and I can pet her whenever the fuck I feel like it.” They huffed and left and they called the store after to complain. Fortunately my manager had seen the whole thing and he is really reasonable and knows that I never lose my temper like that ever so I didn’t get in too much trouble. He just said that if those guys came in again I had to call someone else to ring them up because they “never wanted to see my face again” because I had been so “incredibly rude and obnoxious” Cry me a river tick turds.

  • me: haha damn gyro's sexy
  • also me: at the beginning of chocolate disco part 1 gyro tastes some horse shit. he just picks up a piece of shit from the middle of the goddamn road and licks it, then quickly identifies it as belonging to diego's horse. this, along with the fact that johnny doesn't bat an eye, leads me to believe that gyro literally tastes horse shit all the fucking time. like, on a regular basis. he just. eats horse shit. why. why is he so nasty. get this filthy man out of my si

The horse, of course. The sound of want. Carnage

hungry for more. Curious fingertips

that reach in deep, so, and pull her out; smudge

her over my thigh until nothing drips

but her insides, not yours. Nothing left but

the splayed leaf, the petrol, the dew to husk

her out, to clot her in, to hear the soot

sing of chaos: “She comes, gentle-down dusk

falling, coaxing the dead mare; She that shies

from boot and lash.” And now we are godless;

now that dusk has come and night’s mare confounds

me, has tasted flesh, left me with smudged thighs,

the ewe’s cravings. Fingertips curious

for more chaos. More kinds of dark.  More sounds.

jon snow: safe

ANON REQUEST: Can you pleeeaaassee do a Jon Snow imagine where Alliser Thorne’s daughter shows up to bury her father and she holds a grudge against Jon for hanging him? Jon sees her for the first time and recognizes her and also hates her but Ghost likes her. Because Ghost stalks her around so much, he warms up to her and tries to be friends but she doesn’t like him. Then wildlings attempt to rape her, he saves her, and end it however you like :D

The Wall was a magnificent sight to see, you stopped your horse miles hidden in the forest. You wiped your tears away, and breathe out. News of your father’s death made you travel North, as soon as you can. Now you were here, and inside your father lay dead. Your horse galloped and a horn sounded, and the gates opened.

Men looked at you as you entered, your horse circling the yard in the Castle, and you saw a huge pile of dead body on platform. You didn’t pay much attention to the men in black as you dismounted your horse. You saw your father’s face on the platfrom, and a huge bruise around his neck.

“Who are you?” A man said, as he stopped you from walking any closer. He was holding the pommel of his sword, yet you pushed him away.

“Move,” you said looking directly at him. You were holding your dagger in your hand. His hand moved forward, and you held the dagger quick to his chest. “Don’t touch me.”

He moved away, and you stood closer to your father’s body. His bruised neck was a sickening sight to see, and you closed his eyes. “A name, we need it.”

You looked at a man, and the first thing you saw was his huge white direwolf also the pommel of his sword. You wiped the tears away, “Y/N,” you said. You looked at your father’s body, “You killed my father.”

“Aye! He killed Jon Snow, the lot of them did,” yelled a scrawny man.

You looked at Jon Snow and to your father. You knew he wasn’t one of the kindest people but he was good. He was nice, and he loved you. It was years since you last saw him, and now that you’re finally seeing him, he’s dead. “Ser Alliser Thorne is my father, and you killed him.”

“Treason,” Jon Snow said. He expressed nothing and it made you furious. You screamed at his face, pounded fists on his chest until a few men held you back.

You cried, “He’s my only family left,” you whispered. “I’ve got nobody left.”

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When last she had seen Maidenpool, the town had been a desolation, its lord shut up inside his castle, its smallfolk dead or fled or hiding. She remembered burned houses and empty streets, smashed and broken gates. Feral dogs had skulked along behind their horses, whilst swollen corpses floated like huge pale water lilies atop the spring-fed pool that gave the town its name. Jaime sang “Six Maids in a Pool,” and laughed when I begged him to be quiet. And Randyll Tarly was at Maidenpool as well, another reason for her to avoid the town. She might do better to take ship for Gulltown or White Harbor. - Brienne II, AFfC 

(tldr ‘oh look, a pool. jaime sang a song about a pool once.’)

2/2 Mythological Objects Pair Dadeni (The Cauldron of Rebirth)

The Cauldron was owned by the giant Llasar Llaes Gyfnewid who lived in the Lake of the Cauldron in Ireland. The giant and his wife’s behavior offended the court of King Matholwch,so the King attempted to burn the giants to death. The giants escaped to Wales and were greeted by King Bendigeidfran. Grateful for the hospitality they received, the couple gifted Bendigeidfran the Pair Dadeni. When Matholwch travels to seek the hand of Bendifeidfran’s sister in marriage, the cauldron is given to Matholwch as a peace offering after Efnisien murdered Matholwch’s horses.

Later, when the two kings go to war the Cauldron is used to bring dead Irish warriors back to life. Efnisien hides among the dead and is thrown into the Cauldron. It is then that he destroys the Cauldron from the inside.


We’re not safe until he’s dead
He’ll come stalking us at night
Set to sacrifice our children
To his monstrous appetite
He’ll wreak havoc on our village
If we let him wander free

So it’s time to take some action, boys
It’s time to follow me!

Through the mist, through the wood
Through the darkness and the shadows
It’s a nightmare, but it’s one exciting ride
Say a prayer, then we’re there
At the drawbridge of a castle
And there’s something truly terrible inside

It’s a beast!
He’s got fangs, razor-sharp ones!
Massive paws, killer claws for the feast
Hear him roar! See him foam!
But we’re not coming home
‘Til he’s dead!
Good and dead!

[Ensemble & Gaston]
Kill the Beast!

Light your torch, mount your horse

Screw your courage to the sticking place

We’re counting on Gaston to lead the way

Call it war, call it threat
You can bet they all will follow
For in times like this, they’ll do just as I say

There’s a beast running wild, there’s no question
But I fear the wrong monster’s released

Sally forth! Tally ho!
Grab your sword! Grab your bow!
Praise the Lord and here we go!

We don’t like what we don’t understand
In fact, it scares us
And this monster is mysterious at least
Bring your guns, bring your knives
Save your children and your wives
We’ll save our village and our lives
We’ll kill the Beast!

Hearts ablaze, banners high
We go marching into battle
Unafraid although the danger’s just increased
Raise the flag, sing the song
Here we come, we’re fifty strong
And fifty Frenchmen can’t be wrong
Let’s kill the Beast!

Kill the Beast!
Kill the Beast!

(✿◠‿◠)   /   a drabble inside dean’s moment. 

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so i just heard about this new anime, Uma Musume, which to me sounded like ti was going to be about

idol yuri + horse racing

as in, i thought they were going to be idols who were also horse jockeys and sung while racing

and this got me laughing since i immediately starting thinking about Steel Ball Run and how many references and jokes could be made, since SBR was basically about gay cowboys and this would be lesbian idols riding horses

then i watched this video

and now i feel hollow and empty and dead inside (again)


This is a zombie apocalypse story. A realistic twist on a dead horse that has been bludgeoned for ages.

Yes I am a survivor, no I am not the only one left. But there are few of us. We walk amongst corpses every day. With lifeless eyes for 6+ hours they trudge slowly from desk to desk without purpose. They simply are running the routine.
It’s all they know.

They say the eyes are windows to the soul. Occasionally I’ll go up to such a window, and wipe away the fog perspiration, just enough to see inside. My fingers begin to wrinkle from the moisture as my eyes widen.
Why are all these houses empty?

They don’t really pose much of a threat to us, except in large numbers. They attack each other more often than they notice us. We mainly keep to ourselves and occasionally befriend one. After all, most of us were dead at one point.
Living is painful.

This story is much different than your typical theatre block buster. They don’t tear our flesh with broken canines. We don’t turn into one of them upon becoming deceased. In fact its quite the opposite. Sometimes they wake up, and become one of us.
One must die to be reborn.

The rebirth process is painful, the deceased often experience a variety of painful symptoms that usually begin once they realize that they are dead. Symptoms may include increased perspiration, tear duct leakage, scars, anxiety, perpetual agony, self awareness, and sometimes even a desire to be blissfully ignorant and dead once again.
Wake up.

—  Walking corpses shouldn’t surprise anyone, the school is a graveyard.

I saw a post saying that when you bash Frozen in favor of another princess movie you’re really just pitting women against other women and like? No one is pitting Moana aganist Elsa or Anna? People just want Moana to be successful because they are tried of Disney beating an already dead horse for the last three years. I don’t want Moana to be thrown under the bus like how Disney did to the live action Cinderella, Big Hero 6 and Inside Out. So, no, it’s not pitting women against women and the reason Frozen get’s bashed is because it’s a hot mess.

Some random animals from Hannibal:

Kevin, Peter Bernardone's cute mouse

Pavlov-I-Hate-My-Life-Verger, Mason’s pig

The sheep that left everyone dying with envy

The true hero of the third season

The bird that comes out from the heart of a woman thaaat cames out from inside of that dead horse. You know, the usual.

Snails with better sex life than yours.

       Winterfell was GRIEVING for their lost king. The soul of the castle just as much as the people. Everything slowed to a stumbling pace, people became sluggish in their movements the courtyard had fallen silent, the occasional ringing of a hammer against steel. It had been weeks since the raven had arrived, and Jorya had had to break the news to Jon that his brother had been murdered. The North had lost its way, it had no purpose now. Their king was dead and their forces decimated, his father dead, one sister captive and one missing.

     Jorya was overlooking the courtyard when the gates had opened and a lone rider rode in. At first she thought nothing of it and turned to walk back inside, but she heard a clamour below her and turned back, seeing the man fall from his horse. She watched for another moment before quickly pacing down the steps and over to the crowd. The horse was covered in mud, an arrow in his hind end, the rider was covered in blood and mud, in a quaking hand for just a moment she saw a crumpled parchment scroll, dark grey wax at the seal. 

    In the commotion she missed who had taken the envelope. She pulled herself from the group and got her bearings the shutting of the blacksmiths door catching her attention. She padded over peering around the door before entering. A figure stood over the hearth, holding the parchment over the flames trying to get it to light. Without a second thought she charged forward, the two bodies tumbling to the ground in a struggle, she felt fists and elbows hitting the back of her head as she tried to scramble back to her feet, but they grabbed her ankle and pulled her back to the ground, the two tussled and jorya felt her mouth filling with blood. 

    She didn’t even know what she was fighting for, but it was the most alive she had felt in weeks, and if whatever was in that letter was worth burning, she wanted to know what it was. A blow to her face turned her head to her left, where she saw a heavy steel bucket within arms reach. In one swift movement she reached over and grasped the handle, bringing it back over the mans head. Finally the punches relented as the body pinning her to the ground fell limp. She pushed him aside, stumbling ot her feet, knocking some swords of the racks as she did. Her head was pounding, all she could hear was the ringing of steel and blood rushing through her ears. 

   She plucked the parchment off the ground and made her way to Jon’s chambers, leaning against the wall for support she read the words on the page, her stomach turning. She felt the colour draining from her face and pushed herself to open the door to his chambers, slumping down on his bed.. ‘’      JON’’


A spotter couldn’t hide in the branches of a dead tree (it’s easy to spot a guy when there are no leaves), and they had no fake horse corpses around. So, the Germans took some sections of steel pipe and built a 25-foot-tall armor-plated fake tree. It had bark made of painted iron. A soldier climbed inside and had a little seat and a tiny window to look out of and spy on the Brits. 

Since a dead tree suddenly growing out of nowhere overnight would have looked suspicious, the Germans had to wait until nightfall and cut down one of the real trees. With artillery firing the whole time so the Brits wouldn’t hear the axes, they cut it down and set up the fake tree in its place. It’s the kind of disguise that, say, Elmer Fudd wouldn’t catch, but you’d think one of the soldiers peering through binoculars on the other side would notice it eventually.

You’d be wrong – the tree sat undetected for months, until the Brits tunneled under the German lines and blew up their trenches from below, like the opening scene of Cold Mountain, except 19 times over. Even then, the hollow tree was so well hidden that even though they were in control of the area and camping right next to it, no Allied soldiers noticed it for seven freaking months.

The 6 Craziest Disguises Ever Used in the History of War