the importance of vows

I hereby solemnly vow to leave feedback on EVERY single piece of content that I view for more than two seconds. Kudos, a comment, a like, some kind of encouragement.

Because I think there is a dissonance between people who view content and people who create content.

People who view content don’t believe that there is any reason to leave a comment because the author won’t care much anyways, or it isn’t that important, or they have x amount of comments already.

Well, let me tell you something. I refresh my email about every 10 minutes to see whether I have any new feedback on my fanfics. And it wouldn’t matter how many comments I had already gotten on any of my fics. I treat each one as though it is the first.

Feedback is truly the most important ingredient in my life as an author, and I cherish every person who takes the time to type out a comment. 

Seriously, button mash on your keyboard, give something like ‘This is awesome’ or pick out 400 lines to comment on, we don’t care. We love you if you take the time to say anything.

Because that means that you care. 

anonymous asked:

do you think Lexa would have betrayed Clarke again like she did at Mount Weather if she'd survived ep7?

No, she wouldn’t have.

Lexa’s entire arc in season 3 is about regaining Clarke’s trust and working towards peace and unity. Grounders and Skaikru form a reluctant alliance in season 2, but the “us/them” mentality is still very much in place, and then Lexa’s betrayal fractures whatever progress they’d made. Now in season 3, what is the first plot point we’re introduced to with Lexa’s reappearance? Her desire to have Skaikru join her Coalition. In Lexa’s words

It’s entirely different from the alliance in season 2. Skaikru becoming the thirteenth clan in Lexa’s coalition means that they effectively become part of her people. Which means that A) they would be protected against external or internal attacks since Lexa’s main responsibility as Heda is the safety of her people, and B) there would be no point in a betrayal because they are part of the Coalition she created and swore to protect.

What did Lexa say to Clarke after she took the deal at Mount Weather?

“I do care, Clarke. But I made this choice with my head, and not my heart. The duty to protect MY people comes first.”

With her offer, she is making Clarke’s people her people. She is transcending the tribalism that has been the cause of most conflicts ever since the beginning of the show in favor of unity, stability, hopefully peace.

And this is only the political aspect of it all. Because you have to take into consideration Lexa’s feelings too. And this is one of the reasons I love this character so damn much: all her layers. She is smart, pragmatic, even ruthless on some occasions (as we saw), but she isn’t a robot. She feels so much, probably more than she would like since it caused her so much pain, and her feelings for Clarke are definitely one of the reasons she suggests that Skaikru enter the Coalition. Don’t mistake this for Lexa letting love cloud her judgement and making her do irrational things for the girl she loves. As we saw earlier, there’s a great deal of logic in Lexa’s suggestion. Honestly, this isn’t about romance at all. First and foremost, this is about Lexa having to do something awful (the betrayal) and not wanting to do it again. But could she promise Clarke that she’s never going to betray her again if her people always have to come first? No. So, she thinks about the one solution that allows her to both be faithful to her duties and, if not make up for what she did to Clarke, at least be in the position of not having to do it again.

This is what her vow is about really.

She can’t erase the past, but she is promising not to do what she did again. No more Trikru vs Skaikru, just one people. And no more betrayals. Sure, this last part is more personal, but nonetheless important. If anything it’s the most important aspect of Lexa’s vow, how personal and intimate it is. This isn’t just one leader swearing fealty to another. This is one person vowing to do anything in her power to not hurt the other person again.

Lexa literally puts her life on the line to stay true to her vow and push towards unity and peace, she eventually dies for it. So the core of it all is no, she wouldn’t have betrayed Clarke.

Remember how Peter said that the show was in his DNA? Well, I know what he means now because despite what happens on Sunday, I’m probably going to end up watching s11 and Chibnall’s era anyways. God knows I’ve had a few complaints and frustrations with the show recently (including what I mentioned in my recent post) but man, I’m pretty sure that s10 only made me love the show more. 

Like Peter said himself:

“The big reason that Doctor Who is still with us is because of every single viewer who ever turned on to watch this show, at any age, at any time in its history and in their history and who took it into their heart – because Doctor Who belongs to all of us. Everyone made Doctor Who.”

God knows this show will never leave my heart.

okay if we are really being technical here,  

i think it’s important to note that, although tsukuyo said that she is willing to die by gintoki’s side,

gintoki has said something hella to her similar in the love potion arc

Creepypasta #1245: My Husband Loves Me

Length: Short


My husband loves me so much. He makes sure to tell me everyday that no one will ever love me as much as he does.

When we were dating, he asked me to spend less time with my friends because they were too into partying and were a bad influence. I didn’t have much in common with them anyway.

When we got married, he reminded me how important “to honor and obey” was in our vows so that we could have the type of marriage that was fulfilling spiritually.

When I got pregnant, he told me to make sure that I didn’t love the baby more than I loved him so that we didn’t become one of those passionless couples.

When he asked me to quit my job, he reminded me that even though I don’t remember saying it, it’s always been my goal to be a stay-at-home mom.

When he says that he’ll call the cops if I ever go anywhere with the baby without him knowing exactly where we are, it’s because he worries so much about us getting hurt.

He constantly asks if I love him too.

And I always tell him that every time he enters a room, I get goosebumps and I smile so wide that my teeth grind and I think my cheeks might split. I tremble when he touches me and I always wait in anticipation when he’s not there.

That’s what love feels like.


Credits to: ellipticalmoons (story)

Strangers to Lovers - Jonerys meta

So I was just rewatching Jonerys scenes from this season and in Dragonstone Jon implored that Dany put her trust in a stranger. Because that’s what they were to one another before they met. They were perfect strangers though they’re actually family. Even if they don’t know this, it’s important.

Then I realized that in The Dragon and the Wolf we got even more context. In the voiceover and Bran’s vision of Lyanna and Rhaegar wedding the ceremony had the lyrical pagan words of: 

“Smith. Warrior. MotherMaidenCrone. Stranger. I am his/hers, and s/ he is mine, from this day, until the end of my days.”

We hear this as we are watching their love scene unfold and we’re to know that they’re the dragon and wolf as are Lyanna and Rhaegar. The stranger part stuck out to me.

Putting it under a cut because this got long:  

Keep reading

Braids & War Paint (Part 4)

Note’s On:

Part 1: / Part 2:  / Part 3:  / Part 5: 

For the last three days Terrasen had experienced the heaviest rain showers in decades. The granite skies had held promise of precipitation, Terresen had had everything, from rain to sleet to hail. They’ve had it all. 

Her royal highness, Aelin Galathynius had been confined within the castle, attending meetings, reading, raiding Lysandra’s chocolate stash. She hadn’t been bored but Aelin did find herself missing a certain fae warrior. Aelin saw Rowan at meal times, ran into him accidentally around the castle here and there. Aelin had missed his brooding nature, even though there had only been a short while of their friendship, there was something about Rowan that Aelin couldn’t turn away from. 

“He’s like the plague.” Aelin muttered to herself realising who her thoughts turned to again. The princess sat in her ornate armchair, legs curled underneath her. The sexy-fun-time book she had been reading was starting to bore her. As her mind had been wandering, her eyes seemed to stray too, towards the balcony across the way. 

Rowan sat at his desk, penning a report to ‘his queen’, no doubt. His silver hair glowed against the rain on his panelled door. Fae senses really helped Aelin, but it was times like this when she wanted to shove her head in the sand. 

Rowan had caught her staring, the letter he was penning wasn’t a letter at all, but a sign that he held up to the door: 

You look braindead. 

Aelin laughed out into her quiet room, Fleetfoot picked her head up off the bed, startled by Aelin’s loud outburst. She searched around for her quill and a stack of parchment and wrote her reply: 

The rain makes my hair go frizzy. 

Aelin could see Rowan’s slight squint and the roll of his green eyes when he finally read her sign. The two passed notes across the way like children. Laughing at stupid jokes that the other had written. Rowan had the neatest handwriting Aelin had ever seen, she hated to admit it but it was more beautiful than her’s. She had one piece of parchment left, Aelin had to make it count

What book were you reading?

Aelin tried to hide her smile at Rowan’s question, it was dumb and childish, but the fact that he saw her reading must’ve meant he looked at her before she looked over at him. The butterflies of anticipation rose in her stomach.

I’ll come over and tell you about it.

Rowan’s eyebrow raise was the only answer she needed before rushing out of her quarters. 

“I can’t believe you like that garbage.” Rowan chastised, scoffing at Aelin who had waltzed into his room and lounged over the armchair in the corner of the room, her long legs hanging over there rolled arm of the leather chair. 

“It’s not garbage! It’s romantic.” 

“That’s not romance.” Rowan said, hunched over his writing desk, his letter to Lorcan was…supposed to be finished hours ago. It was just very hard to concentrate when the princess of Terrasen was bickering about bad romance novels that weren’t really romantic at all. 

“Oh?” Aelin piped. “And what do you know of romance.” Rowan’s desk chair groaned when he spun around to face her, the typical eyebrow raised at her poised question. She was looking into him, her gaze lingered deep and Rowan felt like pouring out his secrets then and there. 

He wondered how Captain Rolfe of the Mycenians said no to her. 

“I’ve experienced love, Aelin Galathynius.” Rowan scratched the back of his neck as the tips of his delicately pointed ears burned at the thought of Lyria, at the thought of talking about his love life with Aelin, about the situations he’s been stepping into willingly. 

“I have too, once.” She whispered, at the sound of her small voice Rowan became wary about the topic and did what he did best. Ignore it until silence enveloped them. Rowan could hear her breathing, he could hear her stand, he could hear her featherlight footfalls as she walked towards him and sat on his writing desk, flipping through his sealed letters, scanning over the address’. Then she stopped at one. 

“What is she like?” At first Rowan thought she meant Lyria, until he looked up and saw who the letter was addressed to. 

“She’s your great aunt, shouldn’t you know?” Rowan laughed breathily as he signed the short report to Lorcan. Rowan didn’t have to look but he knew Aelin’s only response was a shrug. 

“Never met her, I’ve only heard her reputation.” Aelin said nonchalantly, but he could tell that she was eager to know more about her estranged kin across the sea. Galan mustn’t be telling her much. 

“She cares for her people.” Rowan stated firmly, only slightly stumbling over his words, he was trying to be truthful about his queen, but usually negative adjectives are used when describing Queen Maeve of the Fae. 

“That’s not uncommon, every ruler should care for their people. It’s their duty.” Aelin stated. Rowan had never let a thought like that cross his mind, he’s experienced all kinds of rulers…none of them spoke like it was a gift to their people that they cared for them and not a citizen right to be cared for. 

“Queen Maeve is harsh but she does what she can.” Rowan hated the taste of lie in his mouth. It was ashen. 

“My mother doesn’t want me to ever meet her,” Aelin said, playing with the one small braid in her hair. “If my mother won’t let me, that must mean she isn’t worth meeting.” Rowan had no answer for the statement, he had no input. She had been his queen before Rowan’s soul was placed in his body. 

Rowan Whitethorn had never believed in fate. But he couldn’t help to feel like Rowan was placed in Terrasen at this very moment in time for a reason, whether it be to learn more about himself, learn more about the stigma behind his queen or be intrigued by the heir of fire herself. Rowan didn’t know, what he did know is that he is glad for it. 

“I’ve seen a lot of Terrasen people with braids in their hair, is it a custom?” Rowan asked, placing his quill back in the ink pot, giving the princess his undivided attention. As the question fleeted his mouth, Aelin’s slender fingers gripped the braid she had been absentmindedly fiddling with. She gained a vacant look in her legendary eyes. 

“If you promise someone something, or if someone promises you something, you braid a commodity that belongs to them into your hair and you don’t remove it until the promise is fulfilled.”  Aelin said in a light voice as her immaculate nails traced the leather band in her braid. 

“We have nothing like that in Doneralle.” Rowan said as he wondered who promised Aelin something so important she braided a vow into her hair for her whole court to see, he wondered if Aelin was the one to promise something. 

“What of your tattoo’s?” Arlin quipped, letting her eyes roam his inked flesh. “They are in the old tongue, aren’t they?” 

Rowan placed two fingers to his temple and started tracing his memories before he answered: 

“They tell the story of my first battle, I had thousands of soldiers under my command,”  Rowan’s eyes somehow found her heavy ones. “I had thousands, I walked out with a few hundred because I didn’t know what I was doing. I lead young fae into a massacre.” Hundreds of years later, Rowan Whitethorn still felt the crushing feelings of guilt and responsibility. 

“You inked your irresponsibility onto your skin for anyone to read?” Aelin quietly asked, extending her hand to his face where she traced the letters of the old language.

“It’s my burden and shame to carry.” Aelin’s hand quickly retracted and flew back to her braid. Rowan noted that her fingers held an unnatural warmth, even in the freezing walls of the stone castle. “Who does your promise belong to?” Rowan asked, his hand vaguely gesturing the braid. 

A small smile graced Aelin’s lips before a sad shadow shrouded the young woman’s features. 

“It belongs to me, I promised myself something on behalf of someone who doesn’t walk this earth anymore.” Aelin sadly answered, the way her thick dark eyebrows drew together made Rowan wonder what kind of event happened to cause such heartache in someone so young. Then he realised he saw this face on Aelin only a few moments prior. 

“Did you love him? The boy you promised?” Aelin’s eyes snapped up to Rowan’s at his question. She nervously swallowed a lump in her throat. Rowan could see all the clogs and gears working in her head, weighing up the options of what to tell him, how much to tell him, to tell him anything at all. 

“His name was Sam Cortland.” Aelin’s eyes sparkled with the memories that were probably running across her mind. Rowan knew what that was like. “I loved him very much.” In an attempt to distract herself from the confession Aelin played with fake lint on her sapphire tunic. Rowan stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. “He was murdered when I was sixteen.” Rowan’s heart clenched, he’d never had a lover that had passed but his separation with Lyria had been just as painful. 

“What was your promise?” Rowan didn’t realise that, that comment could be seen as rude, but when Aelin was taken aback, Rowan started scrambling for an explanation before she shushed him. 

“It’s a fair question,” Aelin said. “I promised him that I would be happy, even though he is gone. I would be happy because I knew that is what he would’ve wanted.” Aelin let a light smile grace her lips. Rowan knew that he should feel sorry for her, show her sympathy. However, Rowan knew that she was strong, that she wouldn’t want his sympathy even if he did offer it to her. She had vowed to be happy and live without her first love. 

“And you?” She asked him, her voice even and tenacious. Rowan quirked a friendly eyebrow at her, which he found himself doing often in Aelin’s presence. “You said you experienced romance, who was your first love?” 

Rowan could still feel the heat of the sun and the smell of the tulips she was selling that day. He remembered her smile and her dark hair against alabaster skin. The kindness that radiated off her in waves. Rowan could still remember he never deserved Lyria. 

“Her name was Lyria.” Aelin’s fingertips brushed against Rowan’s on top of his pile of letters, a silent encouragement to continue. “She was the most beautifully kind women I had ever met in my life. We were together for a very long time, I went away on raids and crusades very frequently.” Rowan took a sharp intake as he continued the story; “Lyria wanted a family, wanted a life I could never give her. She knew that too, but my selfishness blocked her into a life she didn’t want. One day I came home and she was gone, she wrote me a letter saying how much she loved me but I could never give her what she was searching for, I had no idea. Oblivious to her wallowing in her own despair.” 

It had been a long time Rowan had told the full story to anyone before. 

“You deserve happiness, Rowan Whitethorn.” Aelin said, jumping to her feet off the desk. “If Lyria has found happiness without you, then you can find happiness too. Gods, I hope happiness walks into your life.” With that, Aelin of the Wildfire exited his quarters. 

What she didn’t know was that happiness had walked into his life. It was the first time he had felt true happiness in a long time, happiness had strutted into his life wearing a green gown and a smirk. 

AN: I just wanted to thank everyone who has shown support and interest in this fic, but I just wanted to thank a few people in particular, who gave me confidence and words of wisdom. Without them this fic would have never been continued: @2-bookmaster-2 @aelin-and-feyre @rowanismybae @sparkleywonderful @cassiancalore @igniscorde7112 @illyrian-high-lord and last but not least @azrielsiphons

Thank you all so much, my heart swells whenever I see comments from anyone and everyone, I’m so glad to be in a fandom that is so supportive, even if your opinions and ideas are so different. Thank you to everyone who gives me and this fic time of day. 

If you have any questions, ideas, asks, prompts or want a general convo please take a visit to my inbox or my question section :) 

Much love and many thanks, 


Dear Journal,

This morning I got woken up by Lily and Teddy both jumping on the bed.

“Today’s the day! You’re getting married!” She said.

I smiled instantly. Merlin, today was the day.. I’ve been waiting for this moment since Sirius proposed in 7th year. Teddy jumped in my arms and I hugged him tightly.

“Have you slept well love?” I asked Teddy, remembering how cuddled up we fell asleep.

He nodded with a big smile on face. I kissed both of his cheeks and placed his messy curls.

“Maybe you should go wake up Padda love, we don’t want him to show up at the wedding in pyjama’s!” I said, hugging Teddy once again.

“Okay! Kissie!” Teddy said, making a kissy face.

I gave him a quick kiss and he ran to the door with Lily following him. I colapsed on my bed and smiled to myself. I was nervous but so excited to marry Sirius. I started getting ready and Lily came back with her dress on. She looked breathtakingly beautiful.

“Wow Lily.. You look amazing!” I said, hugging her again.

“Thank you Remus.. Do you mind if I get ready here? I don’t want you to be alone.” She said, her smile still present.

“It’s okay, I actually need help with my hair.. they’re a bit messy and I can’t style them properly.. Can you help me?” I asked.

She placed my curls so they would stay on place all day long. I felt a bit fancy with all those hair products in my curls!

As I was putting on my suit, I heared a knock on the door. Mum and Dad.

“Oh Honey look at you!” Mum said with tears in her eyes.

“Mum please you’re going to make me cry!” I said, hugging her small figure.

“I’m so proud of you my son.” Dad said, joining the hug.

“I love you both..” I whispered.

Teddy then came rushing in with a piece of paper in his small hand.

“Padda is awake!” He yelled, handing me the paper.

“Thank you Teddy. Do you want to go get ready with grandpa?” I asked.

“Okay!” He smiled, taking dad’s hand.

I unfolded the piece of paper and instantly recognized Sirius’ neat handwritting.

“I can’t wait to marry you my love… See you down the aisle.. Sirius xox”

I smiled and hugged the paper to my heart. Sirius was maybe a badboy heartbraker but sometimes he was just as romantic. I folded the paper and placed it into my suit pocket so it could be with me all day long. I couldn’t wait to put it in my memory box at home. I started working on my bow tie but Sirius usualy helps me with it. Mum noticed my strugle and helped me tie it beautifuly and whispered in my ear.

“You know, I always knew you two would end up together. The way you talked about him and the way he looked at you.. it was written in the sky.” She said.

“I love him so much mum.” I smiled.

“Oh honey I know you do. I’m so glad you found someone perfect for you. You found the right man.” She smiled.

She then left to go get her hair done with Lily. I was alone in my room, ready as I’ll ever be. I stared at my reflexion. One of my old scars could be seen on my neck but I didn’t think about it because I knew Sirius loves them. I took out my vows and read them again. Was it too cheesy? I hope not.. Suddently I heared a soft knock in the door. I instanlty recognized the voice.

“Moons?” Sirius asked.

“Pads? Don’t come in here you’ll break the tradition!” I said, running to the door.

“I won’t love.. I won’t.. I just wanted to hear your voice that’s all..” He said.

I leaned my back against the wooden door and closed my eyes, imagining Sirius’ face in my head.

“I’m nervous Pads..” I said.

“It’s just me love.. don’t be nervous..” he said.

“I just want to hold your hand.. It would calm me.” I said.

The door cracked open and his hand peaked in. I took it and squeezed it.

“I can’t wait to see you..” he said.

“Me too..”

After a few minutes, James entered and told me it was time. The room we had reserved was actually a rooftop from which we could see the Eiffel tower. It was beautiful. The flowers made it even prettier. Lily was holding her flowers, ready to walk the aisle with Teddy’s hand in hers.

“You can do this Remus.” She smirked.

I took a deep breath and the music started. My heart started pounding. Lily took Teddy’s hand and walked down the aisle to the music. My mum was the one walking me down the aisle. I felt safe with her by my side. She wrapped her arm around mine and smiled. That was it. It was our moment. Sirius’ and I.

I walked down the aisle and the moment I saw Sirius, I felt all my worries go away. He was so handsome. Merlin I was lucky. His black hair neatly placed, his flushed cheeks and his shaky hands. Suddently I just wanted to run and jump in his arms. He was biting his lip and tears were running down his cheeks. James had a big smile on his face and also had his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius’ eyes never left mine. He wipped his tears away and smiled. When I arrived at the altar, I gave my mum a kiss and Sirius took both of my hands. I looked into his grey eyes and he mouthed me something while the priest talked.

“We gather here to unite these two lovers in marriage..” The priest said.

“You look beautiful.” Sirius mouthed, not caring about the wedding that was going on.

I smiled and blushed.

“I love you” I mouthed back.

To be honest, I wasn’t really listening to the priest either. He was saying some nonsence! I couldn’t stop looking at Sirius. His eyes were still a bit glossy but he looked so handsome. I got woken up from my dreamland when I heared the priest say some important words.

“It is now time for you both to read your vows.” He said, nodding so I could go first.

“Hum.. okay. My dear Sirius, I can’t even put to words how much you mean to me. Believe me, I would write it in the sky, carve it on mountains and scream it on rooftops. Since the day I met you, I had this feeling in my stomach. The feeling that makes you happy. After all these years of me loving you, the feeling is still there. I want it to be there until my heart beats his last beat because I know that my heart will always beat for you. Yesterday you asked me if I thought we were meant to happen.. I would say it’s more than that. We were made for eachother. I love you so much Sirius. I will always love you, to the moon and back…” I said, looking up from my shaking hands holding the paper.

Sirius was crying and smiling at the same time. I wanted to kiss him. To hug him. He wipped his tears away and took his paper out of his pocket, his hands shaking.

“Well, it’ll be hard to top that.. okay..When I was younger.. Before I went to Hogwarts .. I always thought I would hate my life. I thought I would have to live with a pureblood wife.. I didn’t want this life.. But when I saw you Remus, I knew anything was possible. I knew i could be loved and more important, i knew I could be with someone I love. I was always taught that love wasn’t real. That you couldn’t fall in love. But when I saw you I found it hard to believe. Imagining my life without you is painful. You are my whole world Remus. We’ve been through so much.. I love you.. to the moon and back…” he said, tears running down his cheeks.

I was also crying. Merlin I loved him so much. I extended my hand to wipe his tears away which made our family and friends laugh. The priest smiled and continued talking.

“Remus John Lupin, do you take Sirius Orion Black to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?” He asked.

I smiled and looked into Sirius’ eyes.

“I do.”

“Sirius Orion Black, do you take Remus John Lupin to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?” He repeated.

“I do” Sirius said, looking into my eyes.

“ I can now pronounce you.. Husband and Husband!” The priest laughed. “You may now kiss.”

Sirius layed his hands on my cheeks and crashed his lips on mine. It was the best kissed we ever shared. Our family and friends were all cheering. Teddy ran to us and Sirius picked him up so we could have a family hug.

We spent the night with our friends and family. It was amazing. Everyone was so happy for us. We danced a lot! It was the best night of our lives. James even made a speach using only words with no a’s which was pretty funny to listen to. It was perfect.

When it was getting really late, everyone came back to the hotel. Teddy was asleep in his car seat and it was adorable. James and Lily were going to babysit him for our first night as husbands. James had told us that they would take care of him and we could have fun.

“C'mon we all know you’re going to have some fun.. Soooo we got you two a royal suite!!” James said, smirking.

“Are you insane!!” I said.

“Nope! You two go have fun.” He smirked, giving us the royal suite key.

Sirius and I walked to the room and it was beautiful! The bed was giant! Sirius and I laughed because we always joke about how we can both sleep in a single bed, cuddled up. Just like our Hogwarts times.

“Okay, my dear husband, now we get you out of this suit.” Sirius laughed.

We both undressed slowly. Sirius kissed every inch of my body while my hands touched every inch of his. His broad shoulders were full of marks. So was my neck and collarbone. Our hands tangled in eachothers hair. It was slow and pleasurable. We kissed and kissed and kissed.. It was perfect. Being alone with Sirius made me happy. Plus, he kept calling me “husband” and I couldn’t stop smiling. Once we collapsed on the bed, panting and sweating, Sirius laughed.

“Oh my god..” Sirius said.


“We just had sex for the first time as husbands!” He said.

I just started laughing.

“Merlin you’re so funny!” I giggled.

“C'mere.. I want to cuddle you.” He said, wrapping his arms around me.

“Your vows were beautiful..” i said.

“You think so? Yours made me cry!” He chuckled.

“I love you.” I said, kissing him.

“I love you too baby.”

“Wanna get some sleep?” I asked.

“Yeah.. I’m exhausted.. Goodnight my Husband.” He said, kissing my forehead and then my lips.

“Goodnight my husband.. It’s weird to finally say it.” I chuckled.

“It is. But i can get use to it. It suits you well.” He smiled.

“I love you Sirius.” I said.

“I love you too.”

We fell asleep cuddled into one another. His hands on my bare back and mine on his bare chest. We were united. We were finally married.

May 20th 1998

Jon’s parallels to Jaime

So, I’m just listing these from memory. Feel free to add quotes and references and your own thoughts.

1. Both started out as idealistic young boys who wanted to become like the heroes from the song and joined a sworn brotherhood to fulfill this dream.

2. Both were disillusioned by the reality of respectively the Kingsguard and the Night’s Watch.

3. Both broke their vows. Jaime by killing Aerys, Jon by infiltrating the Wildlings and sleeping with Ygritte.

4. Both travelled in the company of a woman who opened their eyes to new information, leading to a change of heart. If you rewatch the Jon/Ygritte scenes and the Jaime/Brienne ones from season 3, you’ll notice how similar they are.

5. Jaime lost his sword hand. Jon’s sword hand was burned.

6. Both were chosen Lord Commander of their respective brotherhoods against their will.

7. Jaime was offered Casterly Rock by Tywin. Stannis offered Winterfell to Jon. Both refused.

There are two important points that as of now don’t have a parallel in Jon’s story. In my speculation in how these might still happen, I’m taking into account that GRRM likes to reverse and twist parallels.

1. I already used Jaime killing Aerys in the breaking of vows parallel, but I feel it’s such an important point, it could still happen in Jon’s arc in a more exact parallel as well. His mercy kill on Mance Rayder doesn’t count, because it didn’t actually happen in the books, and I don’t believe this is referring to the Night King either. 

I believe there will come a point when Jon has to kill D@ny  will become a Queenslayer and a kinslayer. And in a reversal of Jaime’s story, this act will either not become common knowledge or it will be seen as a heroic deed and D@ny sacrifciing herself Nissa Nissa style. So while Jaime was despised for his most heroic act, Jon will be praised for an act he might never be able to forgive himself or despite this act.

2. The sister-fucking plot was an important part of Jon’s storyline in GRRM’s original outline and to complete his parallels to Jaime, it still should be. I do believe that Jaime and Cersei’s story holds a warning. The fact that they look so much alike is a physical manifestation of their relationship being a narcissistic extension of their self-love. 

That’s why I believe that if Jon falls in love with one of his sisters, it won’t be Ary@. If Jon and one of his sisters are headed for a romantic endgame, he can’t make Jaime’s mistake and fall in love with his mirror self. It will have to be the sister who’s the most different from him, Sansa. 

don’t imagine dan and phil getting married on a warm day at the end of spring 

don’t imagine them being excited about this day for months and not being able to stop smiling

don’t imagine them being nervous about surprising their friends and families with cute invitations

don’t imagine them picking out fancy expensive suits for each other in which they look super handsome in

don’t imagine them getting really invested in the planning: location, decoration, schedule, music, catering, wedding cake

don’t imagine them walking down the aisle, legs shaking, being aware that this is the most important decision they’ve made in their lives

don’t imagine them reading their wedding vows to each other and finally saying “I do” while guests have tears streaming down their faces because they realize they’ve just witnessed true love right in front of them

Scandalous (M) | 03

PARTS: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

Summary: When you meet Taehyung in a bar one night, you don’t expect to fall for him. He was different, tattoos inked along his arms and a bright smile on his face. He was the opposite of everything you were; he was free – or so you thought.

Genre/Warnings: Socialite!AU, Badboy!Taehyung. Angst + Smut; This one is a lot more tame than the others. It’s mostly angst but there’s a little heated moment thrown in at the end. Brace yourselves, kiddos, it’s only going to get angstier from here.

Words: 7.3k

Keep reading

Infatuation - Prologue

(Gif: qyusoon)

[Mlist] , Chapter 1

Yandere!Taehyung au 

Genre: Horror, crime, murder mystery

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Violence, swearing, murder, stalking

(A yandere is a Japanese character archetype. Yandere’s are usually people who fall deeply in love with someone to the point where it becomes an obsession and sickness. It may get to the point in which the Yandere will do anything to keep the person they love by their side.)

Prologue. It Begins.

Kim Taehyung sat in the chair starting peacefully at the pictures surrounding him. Alone, in his private basement; a room neither of the two relatives who owned this house knew about, his eyes glanced over his now large collection of photos of you. It had only been five weeks. Five weeks since you had moved into this town, and yet Taehyung already knew all about you. He had spent every week since your arrival following you, researching you, stalking you. But Taehyung didn’t think what he was doing was wrong. He believed it was fine because he loved you.

It was two days after a new family moved in a couple of houses down from Taehyung, that he met you. Your small family of four, a mother, father, brother and yourself, had all apparently come back to this town after moving away when you were thirteen. Taehyung knew this because he overheard it when he was behind a bush listening to you tell your new neighbour about it. Taehyung himself hadn’t lived in this town when you were younger, but he wished he had. Perhaps then he could have gotten to know you. Now he has no real way of finding his way into your life, but if he were a child it would have been easier.

The time Taehyung met you, you were walking a small dog near his house. It was then Taehyung had his head turned to his phone, walking along the pavement, oblivious to his surroundings. But as you tried to walk past him, the dog (he knew to be your own) decided he would rather lunge at Taehyung and try to bite him. It resulted in Taehyung faking surprise as the small ‘rat’ tried to go at him. You were trying your hardest to separate your dog from Taehyung when the dog went and gave him a big bite into his leg. It didn’t hurt Taehyung, then  again nothing could, but that all changed.

By the end of the confrontation you had your dog in your arms who had now calmed down, and you were pouring out apology after apology. That was the moment your eyes met. He didn’t know what it was. Maybe they slight innocence, the melodic voice, the gleaming eyes, or the glowing aura that surrounded you, but for the first time since Taehyung was born, he felt the most overwhelming emotion. Love. He couldn’t explain it but he felt something for this pure girl.

You were panicking at the situation. New to the neighbourhood and your dog had bitten a stranger. The bite wasn’t bad but there was a mark. Fear of what may happen you did your best to make it up to this boy. But he didn’t get angry. He was surprisingly calm. That was because Taehyung had perfected masking his emotions. All he had known before was rage,m and calm. Not happiness. Nor sadness. Just red and grey.  So as a child, to fit in he learned how to pretend to feel the emotions he was immune too, and control the only two emotions he had.

Taehyung was lost in you, when you asked if he would join you to your house. You hoped to attend to first aid. But Taehyung declined. He needed to get home and think.

That was so far, your only encounter with Taehyung. Because, he made sure to keep out your eyes. He knew you felt bad for what your dog had done. But he didn’t care about the ‘mutt’. He only cared about you. You grew to become his obsession. His addiction. Two weeks in and he had already established your routine, likes and dislikes and had stolen a hairbrush of yours. He couldn’t explain it but all he knew was he was infatuated with you. And those feelings only grew. It didn’t take long for him to admire your hard work at settling into the town. How you were friendly to those around you. How you always took care of your family. Before Taehyung couldn’t care less about others. He pitied how they put so much energy into being alive despite none of it, in his opinion mattered. He found life boring and too simple. But when you ‘wasted your time’ by being kind or thoughtful, it was special. And from then on, he grew to know you; yet you knew nothing of him.

So, now Taehyung continued to stare at pictures of you. You, jogging, eating, sleeping, laughing. He had pictures of you in every angle, in every setting and time of day. He also had four of your items now. A hairbrush, pair of socks, used lipstick, and a button of what he knew to be from your favourite jacket. Some might think this worthless trash but to Taehyung it was like gold. He cherished everything you touched and owned. And he only had hope to take even better things from you. Maybe your toothbrush, or diary, or perhaps your undergarments. Taehyung relished at the thought. Holding a pair of your underwear seemed an important goal. A goal he vowed to achieve one day. But he had to be patient. It was hard enough sitting, hidden outside your bedroom window at night, but having to crawl through the window and take stuff was a challenge. But he still managed to do it.

Getting up he yawned and put all his treasures away. He turned of the light and crept up the dark room’s stairs before sneaking out of the basement. He couldn’t risk his cousin finding out about this room. It would arouse too many questions, but luckily Jimin was upstairs, probably watching a movie.

Taehyung too retreated to his room. His aunt would be back tomorrow. For two days, she said; then she would go back abroad to her job as an archaeologist. He was very lucky to live in such an empty house. Before it was because he preferred to be alone, but now it was because he could get away from questions of what he was doing now that he followed you.

Taehyung prepared for bed. He went over your plans for tomorrow. You were (much to his disliking) spending the day with your only friend, a boy you had apparently used to be friends with before you left this town. This boy was already becoming a thorn in Taehyung’s side. He wanted to get rid of him. And he already had plans too. But it was taking a long time.

Eventually, as Taehyung drifted to sleep, his mind full of thoughts of you, he prepared himself for tomorrow. Hopefully the last day of the summer holidays would prove useful in making you his. It shouldn’t take too long. Taehyung thought. After all he loved you enough.

1. Allen Ginsberg, Castiel, and Buddhism: the similarities between Ginsberg and Cas

In THIS POST I discussed the links between the famous Beat literature novel On The Road and how Sal Paradise (Jack Kerouac) and Dean Moriarty (Neal Cassady) were inspirations for Sam and Dean, and that Neal Cassady was very similar to Dean Winchester. So Kerouac and Cassady were huge figures within the beat generation, however another key figure was Allen Ginsberg. At the end of that post I discussed the on-off sexual relationship between Neal Cassady and Ginsberg which I will continue to discuss here. In this post I am going to discuss how Ginsberg can be linked to Cas and what this means.

I am going to split these series of metas/discussions into a few parts. This one will be about Cas and Ginsberg. I will then go on to discuss Cas and Buddhism in another post. And then will narrow down into discussions of Buddhist theology and its links to Cas’s arc. This first post will have to be rather general. Allen Ginsberg has been my main research focus for 6 years and I have spent the past 4 years studying Buddhism. It would bore you if I made these posts ridiculously detailed, so I will just be fairly general. If anyone would like to know more, ask more specific questions, get reading lists, or ask me to back up my assertions with sources then I am more than happy to do so. But seeing as this is tumblr and I won’t be submitting this to an academic institution, my citations will be few and far between.

Irwin Allen Ginsberg was a 20th Century American poet, born in 1926 and died in April 1997. He was a leading figure of the beat generation of writers who were most prominent in the late 1950s and early 1960s. The Beat Generation of writers include Jack Kerouac (who wrote On The Road), Neal Cassady, William Burroughs (who wrote Naked Lunch), Allen Ginsberg, and others including Gregory Corso, Gary Snyder, Diane DiPrima, Michael McClure (side note, I once met Diane DiPrima and Michael McClure and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over that. It was amazing. I talked to McClure about when he shouted poetry at some lions. I digress). Ginsberg’s most famous peom is Howl which became infamous after it was banned due to it being too crude and so there was a huge obscenity trail which Ginsberg won in the end. Ginsberg was gay and fell in love with Neal Cassady (who is Dean Moriarty in On The Road). Ginsberg was brought up Jewish but became a Buddhist in the 1950s. He was a founding father of the countercultural movement and the hippie generation. He was esoteric in his views on spirituality.

 Ginsberg met Kerouac and Burroughs during his studying at Columbia University in NY. Neal Cassady rolled into town and they all became great friends. In comparison to Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady, Ginsberg was more nerdy, bookish, quiet, reserved. Whilst Jack and Neal looked like jocks, Ginsberg with his glasses and dark brown hair and non-sports physique was very different.

(Neal is 2nd to left in white t-shirt, Allen is next to him)

In Supernatural, Sam and Dean are the original protagonists and Cas comes along later and is not the classic All-Amerian jock-looking male protagonist. Like Allen, he is less stereotypically masculine. An interesting thing to note about his introduction is that from the outset it is not specifically Christian. Whilst Dean and Bobby find out at the end of the episode that he is an angel, they first cover the barn in symbols from many different faiths. Whilst this might be a reach, from what we see from Cas as the seasons progress, he has never been spiritual purely in a Judeo-Christian way. Rather, he is introduced in a set covered in symbols from many faiths and then throughout the seasons he is linked to Buddhism and general multi-faith esotericism and humanism. His growing distance from stance Christian/Angel dogma shows that his faith has always been more esoteric and less dogmatic than the other angels. Ginsberg was a man who combined many different faiths. He was brought up Jewish but from the late 1950s onwards he turned to buddhism and also had an interest in Christianity (notably Gnostic Christianity). One of Ginsberg’s (arguably best) poems is Kaddish and uses the Jewish mourning ritual prayers as it’s structure. Whilst it is easy to think of Angels as being Christian, much of the great spiritual texts which discuss angels (including most of the ones detailed in Supernatural) were in ancient Judaic texts such as The Book of Enoch and texts which are Judaic but are also shared within The Old Testament. 

Cas also heads towards Dean’s book and immediately looks through it. So he is also being set up as an intelligent/bookish being. Like Ginsberg in the 40s and 50s, he is dressed in rather smart clothes that contrast against the rugged styles of Sam and Dean. He seems like an outsider to their group, like Ginsberg.  

Ginsberg watched and listened in many situations, and when he met Jack and Neal and Burroughs at Columbia he was almost entranced by these people and found them alluring. Cas is also like this in some respects, in that he is intrigued by Sam and especially Dean (however I am not saying this to disregard the agency of either Cas or Ginsberg). Ginsberg also spent much of his life helping his close friends. He was the one who managed to get On The Road by Kerouac and Naked Lunch by Burroughs published. Ginsberg worked tirelessly as their free publishing agent in order to help them and would continuously send them money if they were in need of it. Ginsberg’s long-time partner, Peter Orlovsky had many struggles and Ginsberg dedicated much of his time to helping him. Both Cas and Ginsberg go to extraordinary lengths in order to help those close to them with costs them both. For Cas, he leaves heaven, is cut off from his family, and goes through huge struggles in order to help Sam and Dean. For Ginsberg, he lost huge amounts of money, had drug addict friends steal from him, his health declined due to spending too much energy helping those around him. 

I will now discuss the links between Ginsberg and Cas which are apparent most notably in The End. The episodes of most relevance to my broader discussion of Ginsberg, Cas, and Buddhism are the episodes that include endverse!Cas, crazy!cas, homeless!cas, and Emmanuel. In these instances, I find Cas to be more human, or at least less angel. When Cas diverts further from being an Angel then these similarities come to light. I think that who Cas really is is stifled by the strict rules and laws of the angels, and when he is most free from these we see not necessarily his humanity (though of course we see this), but who he is as a real individual. Of course, we see the similarities between these versions of Cas and humanity, but it is important to note that we see him as an angelic being who is also an individual, and his individuality and his choices become concretised when he is furthest from angel laws and rules. Being a human is all about choice, and we know who we are by the choices we make. But we know who we are as an individual by the choices we make, so when Cas has the freedom to make his own choices then we see him as a true individual, or at least as a condensed version of his individual thoughts and ideas.

The End (5.04)

In this episode, Cas is first seen in a large bedroom full with buddhist iconography with Eastern music playing. There is a close up shot of a statue of The Buddha, so this is obviously important to note within this episode.

 But with regards to this discussion of Cas and Ginsberg, the importance isn’t just that Cas is surrounded by Buddhist symbols. This specific relevance to Buddhism I will go into later when I discuss Buddhism and Cas. But let’s stick to why this episode is important with regards to the links between Cas and Ginsberg. Since the late 1950s, Buddhism had become an important part of Ginsberg’s spiritual and literary life. He took his Buddhist vows in 1972 and continued to practise meditation until his death (although his views on spirituality weren’t confined to Buddhism as he grew up Jewish and mixed Judaism with Gnostic Christianity into the mix of his own spirituality – he referenced his personal multi-theology during interviews shortly before his death where he said that, as Whitman says he contains multitudes. Both Josh Pederson and Stephen Prothero argue that Ginsberg and the Beats were not constrained to one religious doctrine, although Prothero does note that Buddhism ‘did inspire more of them more deeply than any other. (Stephen Prothero, On The Holy Road: The Beat Movement as Spiritual Protest (217)). Ginsberg was of great importance in bringing Buddhism into the mainstream in the 1960s. Ginsberg was a forefather of the hippies, and this point cannot be understated. The beats and their spontaneous prose, their drinking, their drugs, their sex, their freewheeling lifestyle were the precursor to the hippie generation, but if one person from the beat generation was most important to the hippies of the 1960s, it was Ginsberg. Anyone who was of any importance in the 1960s countercultural hippie movement in America knew Ginsberg. Ginsberg was the ‘prototype hippie’ (Peter Conners, White Hand Society: The Psychedelic Partnership of Timothy Leary & Allen Ginsberg, 200). Ginsberg was highly active within the protest movements of the 1960s. He was an advocate for LSD and along with Timothy Leary, they were the people who brought LSD into the mainstream. Ginsberg was also an advocate of free sexual attitudes and took part in orgies. Many of the ogies he was involved in were tantric, and combined sex with Buddhist teachings in order to use sex to open people’s consciousness’s and join them together with everyone else (I remember a particular incidence when this happened on a trip with the poet Gary Snyder). Ginsberg took a great deal of drugs. His first drug experience was at the dentists when he took nitrous oxide, and then he started to smok pot with his fellow beats, then took benzadrine, amphetamines, mushrooms, LSD (he was one of the people to take it before it was a popular drug in the 60s and then after taking it turned major musicians on to the drug and wrote about it, and gave speeches about why people should take it in order to expand the consciousness. If anyone is interested, the poem Wales Visitation was written whilst he was on acid and I highly recommend it), and he also drank a lot. He was a huge advocate for weed and spent tireless hours building a case about why it should be legal. 

Ginsberg was a key figure in the protests of the 1960s such as the Vietnam protests in Berkeley, the National Democratic Conference in Chicago in 1968 during which he lead a crowd of 10,000 people in mantra chanting to try and get them to chill their beans, he was a key speaker at the Human Be-In in Golden Gate Park (that was the event where acid tabs were handed out freely to the crowd, Timothy Leary uttered his famous phrase ‘tune in, turn on, drop out’, and Ginsberg lead the crowd in more mantras and Buddhist music and poetry). So he was not just a poet. He was  FOUNDING FATHER OF THE HIPPIES. The hippie OG. The hippie parent. The hippie guru. He was a hippie before hippies were a thing. Ginsberg was not just Buddhist, he was a hippie Buddhist. He took drugs, had orgies, and was a guru to the countercultural movement and his followers. Sound familiar? This is the dialogue between Dean and Cas in The End;

‘What’s with the drugs, the orgies, the love guru crap?’ (Dean to Cas)

‘What are you a hippie?’ (Dean to Cas)

‘What? Are you stoned?’ ‘Generally, yeh.’

‘In this way you will reach a fragment of total perception. Just one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total shared perception is… it’s surprisingly physical… Why not get washed up for the orgie.’ 

(Cas to the group of women in The End). This speech could have been something Ginsberg would have said. In his essay ‘Dialectics of Liberation: 27th July 1967’ he declared that everyone should ‘have a unitive experience’, ‘an experience of One, of all of us being one’ (Dialectics of Liberation, 7-8).

So Cas is not just seen within this episode as having Buddhist leanings, more accurately, the Buddhist symbols that surround him are important within themselves but also act as a signifier to the other clues about who he is. He is a orgy loving, Buddhist, drug taking, love guru, pot smoking hippie. When Ginsberg first encountered the beats including Neal Cassady (aka Dean Moriarty), he was straight edge, Jewish, bookish. But by the 1960s he was a drug taking, sex loving hippie (although please don’t take this to mean that by the 1960s he was some sort of ruinous character, rather that he had loosened up a great amount on how wild a life he was living). So both Cas and Ginsberg go through these arcs. And if Cas is being shown to be a Buddhist hippie? Ginsberg is the original hippie.

Cas is also styled like Ginsberg from the 1960s. After his trip to India in 1962, Ginsberg returned and dressed in cotton Indian clothes, and images of him wearing these clothes circulated and became a mainstay of hippie style. 

(Peter Orlovsky and Allen in India in 1962)

(Ginsberg in India in 1962)

Camp Chitaqua

There’s also something to be said about the Camp Chitaqua in The End. I don’t know if anyone has written about this, but its namesake seems to be Camp Chatauqua (on the Wikipedia page it shows a promotional brochure for the 1917 Cam, by CASS lake… mmmhmmm). 

So Cam Chatauqua was an adult educational movement popular in the late 19th and early 20th centuries in rural America. It brought entertainment and culture to communities with speakers, teachers, musicians, entertainers, preachers, and specialists of the day. They were fairly Christian events, with Christian lectures occurring at each camp. Interestingly, some people have noted that the teach-ins during the 1960s protests were a successor of these camps. I say this is interesting because the 1960s protests were lead by either the New Left or the Hippies (or both, as they overlap a lot), and so lots of hippie gatherings and protests had Camp Chatauqua style lectures. One that I remember in particular was the 1964 Free Speech Movement protest on Berkeley Campus where they sat in the corridors of one of the main administration buildings and students gave lectures on politics or general things until they all got dragged out by police, beaten, and arrested. Anyway, these camps were influential to the protest tactics of the hippies – just something to note seeing as we’re discussing hippies at this point.

Neal Cassady (Dean Moriarty) and Allen Ginsberg

I covered this kind of in my post about SPN and On The Road. So Neal Cassady became friends with Ginsberg during the 1940s whilst Ginsberg was at Columbia University. Ginsberg fell in love with him and they had sex and continued to have sex on and off until at least the mid-1950s, but remained great friends until Neal’s death in 1966. Neal denied any homosexual leanings to many people within his life, had many girlfriends and a few wives. But Ginsberg and Cassady made vows to each other to love each other, and they were very close, but ultimately Neal didn’t want to be Allen’s partner and their sexual relationship ended some time before his death. Allen spent most of his life with his long-time partner Peter Orlovsky and their relationship was fraught and incredibly complex but that’s another story for another time.

But seeing as Dean Winchester and Neal Cassady are similar, and seeing how (if we’re looking for who from the Beat Canon Cas is) Ginsberg is similar to Cas, the fact that Neal and Allen were in a relationship (of sorts) can be transferred to Dean and Cas. 

(Allen and Neal)


OK, so these are my starting thoughts on this discussion. I think the main thing I realised whilst rewatching The End wasn’t the Buddhism (which is why I watched it to begin with). Rather it was how Buddhism was used as a signifier of Cas’s hippieness, or how Cas uses sex, drugs, and Buddhism, and discusses consciousness and how all of this speaks to him as a Ginsberg-like figure. 

I will continue discussing Ginsberg within these posts but I’m next going to focus specifically on Cas and Buddhism on my next post! Feel free to ask any questions about this and I will continue going over all my academic books and notes and add more to these discussions :) 


Requested by Anon: Hii may i request a fic from the drabble 4+5 (from the drabble challenge thing) where buckys daughter gets bullied at school? thank you love!

requested from this list

Prompts: “Who gave you that black eye?” & “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

Word Count: 

Warnings: softcore swearing, mentions of violence

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for Anon!

(Y/D/N= Your Daughter’s Name)

You carefully remove the hot tray from the oven and place it on the countertop, basking in the smell of the lasagna you had made for Bucky and your daughter. You had gotten a half day from work, and decided to prepare a meal for your family.

Looking at the stove clock, you realize Bucky should be coming home soon any minute. As you turn off the oven and leave the lasagna to cool, the subtle sound of the front door being unlocked captures your attention. Speak of the devil… 

“Hey doll? I’m home!” He announces, locking the door behind him as he immediately perks up at the smell of your cooking. You stride over to him and pull him into a kiss, grinning when he lifts you by your waist, so you take the opportunity to wrap your legs around his hips. 

Even though the two of you had a daughter in high school, he made you feel like a giddy twenty-year-old just by smiling at you. You unwrap yourself from his body, standing and pecking him on the cheek. “Welcome home love.” He returns your joy, absentmindedly holding your hand as you walk to the kitchen, checking on the food.

“You made lasagna? Oh god I love you so much…” Bucky wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your head. You smile, knowing it’s your daughter’s favourite too. “I got home early, so I decided to make you and Y/D/N’s favourite.” Without warning Bucky spins your around, loosely letting his hand rest on the small of your back.

“What did I do to deserve this?” He shakes his head, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours. You tilt your head up for a kiss, but you’re interrupted by the familiar sound of the unlocking entrance. Bucky turns, getting ready to greet his daughter after a long day of school.

Usually, Y/D/N’s a confident, independent person. You and Bucky raised her to be that way, and couldn’t be happier with the results. She normally comes and kisses you both on the cheek, before heading up to her room, dropping off her things, and coming back downstairs to eat with her family. 

Y/D/N doesn’t say a thing and instead thunders up the stairs, before the slam of her door is heard throughout the house. You sigh, turning to look at Bucky with a shrug of your shoulders. “Can you go check on her? I want you to learn how to deal with teenager stuff too, y'know." 

Bucky chuckles and nods at you, leaning down to kiss you one more time before turning and walking away, shaking his head humorously at the sound of your playful wolf whistles. He jogs up the stairs, turning and walking down the hall to his daughter’s room. 

He knocks hesitantly on the door, only to be met by a weak voice. "Go away!” His heart breaks at the cracked noise, suddenly turning angry at whoever made her feel that way. He needed to know, and intended to find out. Knocking again, he stays patient, knowing it’s what you would do.

“Y/D/N? Can I come in?” Respecting privacy was one of the most important things in your household, so you and Bucky vowed to never be those sneaky parents that went behind their kids’ backs. After a few moments of silence, the soft sound of a knob being turned fills Bucky’s ears, and he’s met by a sight that shatters his heart and shocks him completely.

“What is it, dad?” He can’t help the small gasp that escapes his mouth, and the concern immediately changes to rage. “What the hell? Who gave you that black eye?” He points at the bruising skin surrounding his daughter’s eye, feeling his fist clench in anger. 

“I-It’s nothing dad, just leave it alone.” Y/D/N mumbles under her breath, turning to head back into her room even though she knows that her father won’t budge. “Y/D/N please! I’m worried about you,” He steps into the open doorway, moving to sit next to his daughter on her bed. 

“Talk to me.” He speaks, his eyebrows arching and his lips pulling down in a slight frown. Her lip quivers and she breaks into sobs, hiding her face in her hands. “It’s this- it was this guy from school! He kept bothering me and when I said to stop, h- he hit me in the face! Who does that?" 

Y/D/N keeps her face in her hands as she leans into her father’s open arms, while Bucky kisses her forehead and rubs soothing circles on her back. It may not have seemed like it, but he was furious. His current choice words weren’t the most appropriate for his daughter to hear, so he keeps them to himself.

Instead, Bucky decides to keep his calm tone, not want to further upset his daughter. "I know honey, boys are stupid.” He chuckles, grinning when he hears Y/D/N momentarily cease her crying to spit out a small laugh. She breaks away from her crying and sits up, wiping her tears as she avoids touching her swollen eye.

“What should I do dad?” This is when she needs her father’s help, the kind of thing you want Bucky to learn to do. What would Y/N do? He asks himself, coming up with an answer a few seconds later. “Here’s what we’re gonna do, okay?” Bucky wipes his daughter’s tears, placing a hand on her shoulder, gaining her full attention.

“First, we’re gonna get you some ice for that eye, alright hon?” She nods, sniffling as she awaits more of his instructions. “Then, we’re gonna go downstairs and you’ll tell your mother what happened,” He pulls Y/D/N into a hug, feeling proud of himself as he gets her to smile.

“And then, mom will help you brush up on your fight moves, okay? The next time anyone touches you, you’re going to burry ‘em six feet under, alright?” Bucky grins upon seeing his daughter laugh, moving in to kiss her on the forehead, ruffling her hair. 

“Now come on,” He nods toward the door, standing up and offering his daughter a hand. “Mom made lasagna, and the food’s gettin’ cold.” Y/D/N immediately perks up at the sound of that, moving ahead of Bucky and thundering down the stairs.

He’s soon to follow behind her, catching your wrist as you leave the bathroom, moving to go into the kitchen. Bucky gains your attention as you turn back to face him. “Now I should warn you, something went down at the school and Y/D/N’s got a bit of a shiner. I told her to tell you at dinner, so don’t get to worried, I don’t to upset her." 

You feel pride flooding you, pecking Bucky on the lips as you caress his cheek, rubbing your nose against his. "James Buchanan Barnes, you’re the most wonderful man I know.” He kisses you back, moving to grab your waist when you hear a voice calling you from the kitchen.

“Come on guys! It’s lasagna!” You chuckle, pressing your head against Bucky’s chest as he mimics you, the both of you breaking away to walk to dinner. You try to prepare yourself, knowing it’ll be harder to keep your emotions in check once you see your own child injured. You remind yourself not to mess things up, understanding that Y/D/N will be even more stressed if you project your concern.

You bite down a gasp when you walk into the kitchen, kissing your daughter on the forehead and helping her reposition the icepack that rests on right eye. Your concern grows as you think of the possible things that could’ve caused her injury, masking your worry with a smile as you grab a plate, Bucky and Y/D/N soon following suit.

Once the three of you are seated, you begin to lightly converse, the three of you talking about your day as you ignore the elephant in the room. Y/D/N begins showing signs of anxiousness, pushing the uneaten food around her plate as she makes eye contact with Bucky, swallowing nervously. He nods reassuringly, only to be met by the barely noticeable shaking of his daughter’s head.

You decide to give a little nudge, thinking it’ll help to get the ball rolling. “Y/D/N,” you softly call out, catching her attention as her gaze snaps up to yours, the worry filling her face again. “You and I both know you love lasagna as much as your father. You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?

She looks at Bucky again, who repeats his quiet nod of support. Taking a deep breath, Y/D/N exhales shakily and bites her lip in anxiousness as she speaks. "This guy at school was bugging me, and I told him to stop, I was getting really bothered. When I finally told him no, to leave me the hell alone, he got embarrassed in front of his friends and punched me…”

She gestures to the injury by slightly moving the icepack, looking at you to study your reaction. Your response is to get enraged, yet Bucky’s reassuring hand squeeze under the table manages to keep you calm. “What’d you do in response?” You ask, marvelling at your own tranquil state.

Your daughter places down her fork and looks down at her lap in shame, a small blush colouring her cheeks. “I… I froze… I wasn’t expecting it and by the time I could actually do anything he’d already left.” You furrow your eyebrows, quirking your lip as you gently call out her name. 

When she uneasily looks back up at you, you begin speaking, keeping a relaxed tone all throughout the conversation. “Y/D/N, that’s a completely normal reaction. It’s all part of your Fight/Flight/Freeze response, everyone’s different. If you want, I can help train you to fight instead, and you can kick ass, that sound good?" 

Relief fills her face as she lets out a sigh, smiling at you in gratuity. "I love you guys.” Bucky grins at his two favourite women, kissing you on the cheek despite Y/D/N’s playful protest and tightly holding your hand. 

“We love you too.”

A/N: What’d you guys think? Would anyone like to be added to the Bucky tag list? (for those of you curious about Underwear, i’ve got plans for the next chapter, and before i post that i’ll write the loki request <3)

Tags: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed!) @cutie1365 

anonymous asked:

I could forgive ppl for not seeing Jaime in love with brienne (kimd of) but to say that brienne's feelings for Jaime is just platonic is laughable like I'm sorry but if you keep thinking about your "best friend" naked and blushing because of how hot he looked when he was naked I'm sorry but... your feelings for him... aren't... *platonic* xDD

THANK YOU?? no but like honestly not just THAT, but you don’t dream of your best friend putting cloaks on your shoulders of whichever kind, you don’t dream of him dying in front of you in place of your last canon crush, you don’t call for them all the time when you’re sick and maybe you’d die for them but not even thinking before getting hanged for them in front of the person you swore vows to when vows are the most important thing to you? and THE WHITE CLOAK BECOMES YOU? and I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR JAIME every damned time she thinks about why she’s looking for sansa? and WOULD HE LET ME CRY ON HIS SHOULDER? that’s not friendly, that’s plain fucking obvious and if they don’t see it they have never had a crush on someone

the ITH characters' favorite memories

this idea was given to me by @sonshine-de-la-vega thank u very much!!

usnavi: his favorite memory is a specific family dinner he had with him, his mom, his dad, little baby sonny, and abuela when he was 8. he had helped his mom and abuela cook that night (which sparked his interest for cooking), and he had been SO proud of himself because everyone told him it was “very good.” every time usnavi feels down, he thinks back to that memory and a smile always comes to his face.

sonny: the first memory he has of usnavi. he won’t admit it, but usnavi is the biggest influence in his life. so, the first time usnavi took care of his bloody elbow when he fell outside the bodega is engraved into his mind, but he’ll never tell anyone.

nina: the first time her mom helped her read a full sentence out of a book. she was 4 and she had picked the book up from the school and she had been so elated she read a sentence right that she didnt stop reading after that day.

vanessa: the day she met nina. it was at school, during recess. she and nina had been in different kindergarten classes, but shared playground time. she bumped into her while they were both running to grab the last swing. they ended up apologizing to each other and offering the other the swing, but someone had already taken it by that time. they decided to draw with chalk with each other and their friendship blossomed.

benny: the first time he busted into rosario’s car service after being chased by the police. firstly, 12 year old benny loved that rush of adrenaline and the relief that flooded through him when mr. rosario let him hide. he looks back on that day and smiles, it was the start of so many great things.

pete: the first time he made art. pete had been making stuff since the day he was able to pick a crayon up, but the first time he grabbed a piece of chalk and drew a giant sun really inspired him to pursue this dream further.

carla: her first job at the salon. daniela had hired her and helped her cut a mannequin’s head of hair for a good 6 weeks until she knew what she was doing. weirdly enough, her first customer was a lanky, jittery 14 year old usnavi. his hair was shaggy and he wanted a trim. he was nervous the whole time, but in the end, it came out perfect and carla couldnt be more proud of that memory.

daniela: when vanessa stepped foot into the salon. she was 2 and dani was 20. she had just opened her salon, and vanessa was one of the first children to get a haircut from her. unlike most, vanessa was so calm and collected, and even responded to her questions (most answers were in the form of incoherent jumbles of words, but you get the gist).

camila: the day nina was the born. she remembers that day as being something straight out of a fairy tale, seeing her angel daughter for the first time. she had whispered a promise to nina on that day to always make sure she was okay and happy. she kept her promise.

kevin: the day rosario’s opened. he opened it with camila. after years of working hard, they started their own business. they couldnt have been more elated. kevin said he will always remember the day camila said to him, “this is the start of a new life”.

claudia: the day she saw usnavi for the first time. the moment claudia’s eyes landed on little baby usnavi, she knew she had to do everything in her power to protect that boy. she knew he was gonna grow up and do great things, but she had to make sure he got there first. this became even more important to her after usnavi’s parents died. she vowed to keep her word, and she did.

If I Could Fly | Louis Tomlinson

A/N: Track 6 out of 17.  From my Made In The A.M. (Deluxe Edition) Series! Find the rest of the songs on my Masterlist!

Originally posted by tmlnsn

Fat snowflakes float down to the already coated ground, building on the depth. I try to run to get to the perfect spot, but my boots keep getting stuck with each step I take, making me almost lose my balance a couple of times. A heavy knitted scarf is wrapped around my neck, and a beanie is placed snug on my head. I love the snow. I love the things you can make with it and the fun it brings the snowball fights, sledding, skiing, snow angels. I love being trapped in the warm house and watching it fall. I love how beautiful it looks. How it sparkles in the sunlight, making it look like billions of diamonds instead of frozen water coating the grass.

However, the snow can’t compare to the beautiful girl struggling to keep up with me. Her head is bowed low, trying to keep the flakes out of her eyes and her arms crossed to keep her turquoise pea coat closed. I look back at her and smile. She hates the snow, but she insisted that she would stick it out just for me. That’s one of the many things I love about her. Her heart is full of kindness, always so giving and cheery. She always wants to make people feel special even if it risks her own happiness. I’ve never met someone who cares so much for the human race.

That’s why I fell in love her, only she doesn’t know it yet. That’s why I’m going to tell her, on this lovely December afternoon, under my favorite maple tree, right next to the snowman we built yesterday.

“Why are you dragging me out here? Didn’t you have fun yesterday?”

This makes me chuckle. “I always have a good time with you, but just come on! It’s right over there.” She groans and keeps following me, stepping in my footprints like a little kid.

When we reach the tree, the branches are caked with snow. It almost looks like a Hallmark greeting card. Our snowman still stands, his top hat is dusted with white and his carrot nose is a little crooked, so I fix it. She leans against the tree, arms still crossed. “This scarf is a little off, too.” I twist it around, so the tied part hangs in the front.

I walk over and lean against the tree, too, looking out at the rest of the park. Not too many other people are out right now. Wouldn’t surprise me though, it’s almost five, and the weather isn’t exactly favorited by others. “What did you bring me out here for Lou?” She asks again, her teeth chattering together.

Looking over, I see her eyes on mine. Rogue flakes are stuck in her hair. I bite my lip nervously. “I brought you out here because I-I wanted to say that..” My sea green eyes avert to the ground.

“You okay?” She asks a hint of amusement in her voice.

I flick my head back up and say it with the utmost confidence. “I’m in love with you, (Y/N)… I have been for a while, and I really didn’t know how to tell you.” She stares at me, eyes wide. “I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving for another tour without telling you how I feel. There are so many things that made me fall for you. All the things that you do.” I smile, my eyes watering from overwhelming emotion. “I just love you, okay?”

“Okay,” She says softly with a huge smile then plants her feather-soft lips on mine. I’ve been waiting for that for so long. It’s everything I imagined it would be and more. My hands lace around the small of her back tugging her closer to me while her tiny hands rest at the base of my shoulders. I smile in the kiss and pull away, resting her forehead on mine.

“I love you, Louis.” She whispers, her breaths of air visible from the cold.

“And I you,” I say. “I have to ask, will you be mine, love? I’ll feel better knowing that when I leave for tour that I’m yours.” I gathered her in my arms in a tight bear hug, planting pecks all over her face as she laughed.

She said yes.

These past five years have been the best I’ve ever had besides the ones I’ve spent with the boys. Sure, we’ve had some rough patches like every couple, but we’ve worked through everything because that’s what strong relationships do. We talk out our problems instead of shoving them aside. I know it’s hard for her with me being away for such long periods of time. I call her when I can and Skype with her so I can see her beautiful face again. However, when you see her sitting on the bed you share, on the verge of tears when she says how much she misses you and there’s not a single thing you can do about it; it’s tearing me into a million pieces.

It doesn’t help that every single tabloid in the world wants nothing to do, but kill your career and your flourishing love life. Lies spread on every single magazine and website. I absolutely hate it. I tell her all the time not to believe them, but sometimes she gets a little paranoid about them. I am hers and only hers. I haven’t looked at another woman like that since she became mine all those years ago.

Today is our six year anniversary, and I have quite the evening planned for the two of us. Since we just wrapped up our latest tour, I managed to get home just in time for it. “You’ll sure she’ll like this?” Liam asks me as he adjusts his bow tie.

“I sure hope so, even though she is a girl of simplicity.” I always go all out for this special day. Whether it’s a thousand roses, a fancy dinner, I always want to impress my lady. This year, I decided to celebrate where I first asked her to be my girlfriend; the huge maple tree in the park. The boys helped me decorate it with Christmas lights, so it sparkles like it did in the winter. I also rented out the whole place and had a grand piano and three microphones delivered to sit right beside the old thing. Petals of red roses are sprinkled across the top of it and lead right to the spot where the boys and I are.

I look at my watch and check the time, almost six o’ clock. “Where’s your girlfriend Niall?”

He shrugs his shoulders and adjusts his Irish stripped mic on the stand. “She’ll be here. You know she’s fashionably late a lot.”

My leg starts bouncing as I wait impatiently, sitting at the piano. Anxious to just start playing those keys for her. A hand comes down on my shoulder, and I look up to see Harry giving me a half smile. “You look nervous, but she’ll love it mate. Trust me.” I give him a curious look. “Since it’s you, she’ll love it.” His green eyes flick up, and he pats my shoulder again. “She’s here.”

He walks back over to his mic stand, and I turn and see her standing with her best friend; she wears a wine colored dress that cascades down to the floor. Her brown hair is curled loosely around her shoulders.

Absolutely breathtaking.

She opens her mouth to speak, but I hold out a finger to stop her, eager to get started. “First, I’d like to say that I love you and happy anniversary. Just listen.”

My fingers start playing the keys gracefully, and the boys start to sing each of their parts.

“If I could fly, I’d be coming right back home to you.

I think I might give up everything just ask me to.”

“Pay attention, I hope that you’re listening cause I let my guard down, right now I’m completely defenseless.”

“For your eyes only, I show you my heart for when you’re lonely and forget who you are. I’m missing half of me when we’re apart; now you know me for your eyes only. For your eyes only.”

“I’ve got scars even though they always can’t be seen. Pain get hard, but now you’re here, and I don’t feel a thing.” I glance over at her and smile after my verse. Her eyes glisten like the lights above her. I love her.

“Pay attention, I hope that you’re listening cause I let my guard down. Right now I’m completely defenseless.”

“For your eyes only, I show you my heart for when you’re lonely and forget who you are. I’m missing half of me when we’re apart; now you know me for your eyes only.

"I can feel your heart inside of mine; I feel it, I feel it. I’ve been going out of my mind; I feel it, I feel it. Know that I’m just wasting time and I hope that you don’t run from me.”

“For your eyes only,”

“I show you my heart.”

“For when you’re lonely,”

“And forget who you are.”

“I’m missing half of me when we’re apart; now you know me for your eyes only. For your eyes only, I show you my heart for when you’re lonely and forget who you are. I’m missing half of me when we’re apart; now you know me for your eyes only. For your eyes only. For your eyes only.”

The last note rings on my fingers then I stand up. “Thank you, boys.” They nod in acknowledgment, and I walk over to her. Tears are falling down her cheeks, she quickly wipes them away with her hand. I kiss her forehead, then I drop to one knee, finally pulling out the velvety black box I had stored in my tuxedo jacket. She lets out a gasp, her hands fly to her mouth. “(Y/N), you know I love you more than anything and that I’d do absolutely anything for you. You’re probably the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and I love everything about you. So I’m asking you to marry me, love. Will you?” I tip open the lid, revealing the ring.

I happily slide it on her finger and kiss her with as much passion as I can muster. I hear the boys and her friend cheering behind us.

She said yes, again.

A year later, and we are back at that same maple tree under the same lights with the same people plus a few. I’m currently face-to-face with my beautiful bride, smiling uncontrollably. We just finished saying our vows, and the preacher has asked the most important question, starting with myself. “Louis, will you take (Y/N) to be your lawfully wedded wife?” My eyes drift down her body, and my smile grows. She looked damn good in that wine colored dress, but she looks even better in white. “I do,”

“And do you, (Y/N), take Louis to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

I love her.

“I do,” She says and giggles.

“Then I now present to your ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Tomlinson!” Our attendees cheer at their loudest, and I give her a tender kiss or two or three, then take her hand in mine and walk down the aisle to the limo waiting on the curb.

Instead of yes, she’s said I do, and that’s the most precious thing she’s ever said to me.