the idea of taking on completely a killer's mentality in order to understand him

anonymous asked:

I hate these writers b/c now I dont trust Ian with Mickey. People say Ian tries to suppress his feelings towards Mickey b/c he is in jail and there is nothing he can do, but is it love? Love is when you care about your partner. +

+ Mickey is alone in jail, maybe he starts every day with a hope that TODAY Ian will come and visit him. Ian’s visits would’ve made him so much happy. He doesnt have this feeling that Ian misses him. Can we be sure Ian loves Mickey when he didnt even stop for a second to think: “What if something bad happened to Mickey? What if he needs me?” Its Mickey who loves b/c after that he will take Ian with him to be left again. And the writers’ll still make him look dirty. I hate them. 

Okay, okay, slow down. You put a lot of things together. I don’t know if I can calm you in any way, but I’ll try. 

First of all, I just want to say that Ian is a complex character and very few people I know on here understand him at all (but, to be honest, I think most of the people on here didn’t even try that much). What I see is infinite love for Mickey, which is a wonderful character whom I love deeply, with wonderful character development - and then a sort of contempt, or disdain, for Ian. Because Ian’s character didn’t develop towards sanity, towards emotional stability, towards health. Ian’s character went to hell and back. Ian is broken and vulnerable, and, very dangerously , he doesn’t realize it. And, most dangerous thing of all, I don’t think the writers realize it. I don’t think the writers understand him, and this is why yes, I agree with you, I don’t trust Ian in the hands of these writers because I don’t believe the writers want that’s best for Ian, and, since they don’t know and don’t wanna know, Ian doesn’t know what’s best for him. It’s complicated and kinda makes me sick, because, empathizing with Ian, I feel terrible everytime I think about it. Not only is Ian neglected by his family in the show, but he is neglected by the people who created him. And it’s awful. 

So, I hate the writers too. But now let’s talk about my idea of Ian, which may not be the same as canon (we’ll see), but I think (probably presumptuously) it’s the closest to the real Ian that the writers created. 

Firstly, I just want to say I accept Ian’s behavior in S6 and S7. It makes total sense to me, and I wouldn’t change it at all. Yes, I would cut Sammi out of the equation so that Mickey would have never had to go to jail, because I think that, in that way, Mickey and Ian would have made peace and would still be together as of now.

People complain a lot about Ian’s change with his bipolar disorder, but it’s stupid to talk a lot about it, for me. Everyone deals with their mental illness in various ways, much like being diagnosed with a scary, physical illness like cancer. You can become crazier, you can become suicidal, you can become a killer, you can change completely or you can stay the same.

Ian escaped from his diagnosis, and he’s still escaping from it, after two years. And you know why? Because he doesn’t aknowledge the change it made in his life, he doesn’t aknowledge how the medication affects his mood, he doesn’t aknowledge his losses. Basically, he doesn’t aknowledge his feelings. None of them. He completely deletes himself emotionally. (and, btw, this is why Caleb and Trevor succeed in manipulating him. It’s not Ian’s personality. It’s not how he is. It’s a symptom of his illness that is still there.)

Now that I’ve explained what I think about Ian’s relationship with his feelings, do you understand what I mean when I say that Ian deeply, desperatly, truly misses Mickey, but he’s not able to aknowledge it to himself or others?

I am sure that Ian loves Mickey. Ian has always loved Mickey. Ian fell in love with Mickey since Season 1. Ian will always love Mickey, come what may. The problem is that Ian’s love is censored by Ian’s illness, and if the writers don’t realize this and do something about it, Ian won’t do something about it because he can’t deal with this by himself, and he’s having no help whatsoever, from no one. This is why, fucking fuck of a holy shit fuck, it’s so important for me that Ian goes to the-ra-phy. THERAPY! A smart, empathic, informed psychologist/psychiatrist is (probably) the only chance Ian has to really deal with his illness, instead of running from it and saying that he’s managing it only because he doesn’t do nothing crazy because he pops nine pills a day. 

Sorry if this is an Ian-centered post and it’s not what you wanted. But you asked some questions in your ask and I tried to answer as deeply as I could. Can we be sure Ian loves Mickey? Yes, I can be sure. I am sure. 
Do we know if Ian thinks of Mickey? Yes, I think he does think of Mickey, but tries not to as hard as he can. But he’s been with Mickey for five years. Usually, when you are that long with someone, it’s hard not to think about them everyday. Only because the writers don’t wanna show us, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. 

Love is when you care about your partner. Yes, but sometimes multiple things don’t allow you to. Obectively, Ian can’t take care of Mickey, because they are physically separated. Even if Ian went to see him, he literally wouldn’t be able to do anything for him. And that would damage his already very very frail, ill mind. Ian can’t take care of Mickey because he can’t even take care of himself. This is a situation I’ve lived many times. Keeping relationships and friendships in order while having a mental illnes is extremely difficult. People will sometimes feel abandoned by you, neglected, won’t understand you, and you will feel guilty, and you won’t be able to do anything about it, because the illness doesn’t allow you to. It’s as simple as that. You can’t be there for that people. You can’t give emotional support. Because you don’t have it in you and don’t have a way of creating it. 

In the end, the point is that sometimes, mental illness will stop you from loving. From feeling love, from knowing how to love. It’s horrible. It’s ugly. It is what it is. It’s not a death sentence. You can learn how to love again, you can remember what it was like. But Ian needs help, and if the writers won’t give it to him, then. Well. Gallavich doesn’t have a lot of hope, because Ian doesn’t have a lot of hope.

I mean. I do believe that Mickey could help Ian a lot, because Mickey knows how to love him, and loves him unconditionally. To be honest, I think Mickey’s the only one who truly ever loved Ian. I think Mickey understands Ian and sees Ian better than anyone (better than the writers, obviously, and better than all of us). But if the writers don’t agree, there’s not much we can do about that. 

These are my opinions on the matters you brought up. Please let me know if you have any other thoughts buzzing around. I love talking about these things.

And if anyone wants to share their thoughts too, go for it. I have to distract myself from real life problems. Please, distract me, lol. Have a gif of Ian hugging the only person in the world who sees him and understands him and accepts him for who he is. 

anonymous asked:

What's your opinion on the Robin series so far?

I’ve been holding onto this cause I’ve had a post in my drafts on my thoughts on Robin once I finished. Once I got this ask, I decided I’d post them here. So here’s a bunch of random thoughts on Robin in no particular order. I’ll put it below the cut cause it’s kinda long also, you know, spoilers.

**Spoilers for the Robin series**

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you think Caroline feels about Klaus? I do feel like there's a lot of attention on how Klaus feels, but not so much on Caroline and her feelings.

Sorry for the delay but get ready for a lengthy meta because even though TVD Klaus Mikaelson is my most favorite character the beauty Caroline Forbes is deserves the attention.

So as always this is about TVD S1-S4.

I think that one of the reasons why Klaus gets more attention to this is because he is a more layered controversial character than Caroline. He is more complicated (although Caroline has the potential to reach eventually many interesting layers of conflicting characterization too) and there is always a certain allure in seeing characters that are dark and come out emotionally crippled to give in to certain type of emotions.

Now that been said one thing I am finding extremely interesting is that at least on the surface and even a little bit deeper even though Klaus is a more complicated character it is Caroline that gets the more complicated feelings when it comes to him and how she feels about him.

What is important to understand is that when it comes to Klaus Mikaelson Caroline Forbes has all sort of emotions that are not clear or simple. There is a lot of denial and confusion and frustration. There is a lot of passion and things she won’t allow herself to admit. The road here is long. And to each turn she gets a surprise. From herself and from what she feels. She is not allowing herself those traitorous emotions and thoughts and this makes it all the more harder.

Falling in love is not easy. This is why it is called “falling”. It makes you fall to the unknown. It makes you lose parts of yourself and give in and set sail for the unknown and as if that is not scary enough (especially for an insecure controlling person like Caroline) she has to go through all these motions for Klaus -I will kill everyone you have ever met- Mikaelson.

She refuses to bow down to the legend and she refuses to fall for the man and the more she does the more her emotions betray her. And this betrayal is not one she can allow or forgive because it goes against her own morals no matter how flimsy those morals are since they represent her human version and are not yet built for her vampire one. Or a more mature vampire one.

Caroline’s set of morals are a complicated matter. She feels and has the ability to understand and even walk to the grey area for her selfish needs and for those she considers family and friends (ready to kill for those she loves or allow others and innocent even bystanders to die if it serves her purpose and even stage and orchestrate their death) but that doesn’t stop her from having a narrow perspective of what she considers wrong and right and black and white. And how she sees certain people like the white knights even when they do not deserve it and others like the villains even if their actions can be similar even to hers. Caroline is a control freak (she struggles with borderline aspects of certain types of OCD) so once she is set on something (like what she considers to be good and what bad and what should be done by people) she doesn’t change her ways or her perspective easily. She is also stubborn and strong willed and strong minded. And not easily trusting. So even the idea of Klaus Mikaelson is forbidden because it goes against her whole belief system. And yet as this happens she gets intrigued and challenged. Because the mind is a great tool of persuasion and the biggest aphrodisiac and for such a tenacious and smart woman like Caroline this can turn her whole world upside down. Because as much as Klaus is intrigued by Caroline so is Caroline by Klaus.

She gets flattered by him. She gets to think more. She gets to push herself hard. To see her limitations. She gets to feel the danger and the thrill and the feeling of having someone like Klaus fall for her. It is an extremely seductive situation. And soon the superficial flirtation and the compliments that become her harmless high become something deeper. Something she can’t explain and something she even refuses to acknowledge.

Even the idea terrifies her. Because in her eyes he is evil and has hurt people she cares about but most of all because he is the first man she can’t totally control. Not entirely no matter how much she can manipulate him because Klaus is also brutally honest with her. We all focus on Caroline’s honesty but this goes both ways. Klaus might be trying to charm her but he never pretended to be something different from who he is. He is blunt in his ways. He is ready to devour, to kill, to destroy and to do terrible things like the terrible person he is. A terrible person that somehow grew to care about her something that makes her care for him too in return. It is like gravity. She can’t avoid it and she can’t avoid his own painful honesty. Because he shows her in every turn that no matter how amazing she is she can be a terrible person too. It is part of her nature. And he won’t shame her for it. He will not avert his eyes from her darkness. He won’t lie. He won’t tell her something she wants to listen (aside from their flirting game) and in the end there is a weird code of trust they develop and Caroline feels it. And that creates all sorts of emotions inside her. It makes her feel reassured and frightened. She has all those contrasting complicated emotions. Nothing with Klaus is simple or easy or acceptable or easily defined or contained and that excites Caroline and terrifies her. It is life and death intertwined and for a vampire this is an extreme turn on (emotional, mental, psychological, physical) and newsflash Caroline is a vampire. She is also a vampire with an intact humanity and the ability to understand emotions and she can understand Klaus. She can see more than he even allows. And the more she sees the more she understands and the more she understands the more she gets him and the more she feels for him. It doesn’t make any sense but it happens.

Klaus brings out the best parts in her. He might be the worst possible choice based to a human understanding of what is good or wrong but when it comes to vampires this code and these values change since we are talking about creatures that are reborn with a killer instinct and are meant to be immortal and perceive the world, society, conducts of behavior etc differently. If you think about it many of the things that were considered as right, logical, good and appropriate 500 years ago or just decades before our present time today are completely disregarded and even considered to be ridiculous. So even by these standards Klaus is for now considered to be the bad guy in comparison to the characters that are considered good in the show and more importantly in Caroline’s life.

And yet the villain here is able to bring out the best parts of Caroline. In his presence and in the way he keeps challenging her she becomes strong and fearless. She is the one that gives the emotional wisdom here and she is not insecure. She is feeling safe in her mental state. She stands her ground. She does not need to adjust in any way where she will have to shrink herself in order to be accepted. If anything with Klaus she can broaden her horizon and expand. She is now a force of nature and she is finally acknowledged as such. She automatically becomes greater than life because she believes in herself. She becomes confident and self assured. And for a person like Caroline that had a high level of insecurity that has been controlling every aspect of her her life and has had all these emotion of worthlessness heightened with vampirism this is actually a great deal.

Caroline has always felt as if she was the second choice. She was always comparing and contrasting herself with Elena and even Bonnie and found herself to be less than what she was seeing in her friends (or what other were seeing). She has always had to chase someone’s affection or it was expected from her to be sacrificed in order to save another person as if her worth was less or as if she was not as important as that other said person. She had to be tortured in order to have others give her a hug and even like that she had to hold back and to show them her perfect facade because otherwise she would lose their appreciation. Her pain was not as important as the pain of others. She was not enough in the way she was so she had to always pretend to be different. Even at her lowest points she had to prove herself while everyone else would always take her for granted. She always had to try sooo hard and it was never enough. And it hurt. But suddenly that hurt was not there when she was with Klaus because nothing of the above happened with Klaus if another all the opposite happened. And that was soothing. A breath of fresh air really one that she was ashamed to take because Klaus was still the enemy.

Caroline Forbes never considered herself to be someone’s epic love. She would either be the second choice or a sweet high school crush. Someone would finally settle down with her because the second choice would be unavailable and someone would put others and other things first and she would come second. And even like that she would still have to confine herself in small boxes in order to subdue the traits these people found irritating or unacceptable. And in the same time she would have to adjust her perspective and her natural instincts over vampirism because the vampires around her would either abuse her or would consider vampirism to be a curse.

But Caroline is one of the few characters that was born to become a vampire. It was what she was meant to be.

And Klaus comes and shows her exactly that.

While Caroline had to beg for her life and a daylight ring. While Caroline had to be grateful that even though she was collateral damage compared to her friends she was still one of them as long as she accepted AND followed their lead; and there comes the villain that without meeting her considered her to be collateral damage but once he met her he put her above all and understood her value. The exact opposite from what he closest people around her have done in her whole life basically and Klaus managed to do it just moments after her first met her. And the more he got to know her the more he established this behavior towards her in honest genuine manners.

Suddenly Klaus makes Caroline dream BIG. It is not about the small town boy and life anymore. It is the world and the stars and the great beyond. Caroline was a control freak in her human life so she had everything planned out. She would become Miss Mystic Falls. Graduate from high school. College. Nice Job and then a be a mom in the high society of Mystic Falls with the perfect (preferably rich) husband and kids. That was it and she didn’t allow after her turning to adjust that plan. But then Klaus suddenly comes and opens her eyes in the moment of her greatest doubt. In the moment where she realizes that she will be eternally 17 and her human dreams won’t come true and in the moment where she doubts that being a vampire is even a good thing.

And then the villain strides in and talks to her about art and music and makes her see that losing her small town dreams is actually a great thing because now she is meant to be more, do more, and have the world at her feet. Life doesn’t begin and end in this small place. And most certainly her life that is now only beginning and it is going to be a magnificent one. She can dream of something and make it come true. Klaus presents her endless opportunities and dreams and hope. Suddenly being a vampire becomes a gift. It is not about the guilt and the bloodlust Stefan made it to be. It is not about the children she won’t be able to have as Elena thinks. It is not about the life that will come and go like the one Matt, Bonnie and her mom will have. It is about having a whole world full of potential. One she desires. One she craves for. One she wants to explore. It is about seeing different places and cultures and societies. Seeing empires and wars and miracles. Seeing the evolution of the human kind and the development of science. Is about living not one life but a thousand in any way she desires. It is about having a thousand birthdays. Klaus has done it. Klaus knows it. Klaus has been where she is now and so she knows that there can be a future pass the pain and the will to live never ends. Klaus can offer it to her and Klaus represents it now. And she can only take it. She as a vampire can feel everything more, be eternal and unyielding and untamed. So Caroline gets a new leash on life and with it she gets a new appreciation of what it means to be a vampire.

And then the pull and the push comes. And Caroline is able to see not only the villain or the vampire or the Original. But the man. Klaus allows her to see more sides of him and she gets intrigued. He is charismatic when he wants and she sees it and deep down it makes her swoon but what she likes more is that she can resist him and feel like herself and take him for what he really is. She is not a victim with Klaus. She is a strong woman that deserves respect and Klaus gives her exactly that. And she keeps on seeing more from the man without having rose glasses. She can see the bloodshed and the ruthlessness but also a boyish smile. She can see a charming smirk. She can see his eyes following her with need. She can see him been almost hit by a car because he simply wanted to spent time with her. She can see that he has interests. He likes to draw and he likes to talk. He is a great dancer. She can see he has been hurt and she can see he is lonely. She doesn’t forget the monster and she does not excuse his behavior or his bullshit but she can see what thousand years of pain and rejection and vampirism can do to a person and that interests her because she is a vampire too. And she has known rejection all too well too. She can see that Klaus is damaged but not hopeless. She can see that he is still a man. A man that not only wants her put holy hell he actually puts her FIRST. He is vulnerable in Tyler’s body and comes to save her but he is not taking advantage of her. He lashes out but he can’t bear the thought of killing her no matter how damaged and insane he has become. He thinks he is dying (the splinter in his back) and the first and ONLY person he calls is…her. Not his family. Her. He trusts her. He will be furious and still dug the graves for her. He has manners from the old century and he is wooing her with charming words and dresses but he lets her speak her mind. He won’t force her into anything and he will go as far as she will allow and will only dare to kiss her cheek. And while the others demean her and judge her for not having a brain to mouth filter Klaus actually finds it endearing and he thanks her for her honest.

So now Caroline gets stuck into an emotional whirlwind. She is meant to be in a happy carefree loving relationship and yet she starts having all these forbidden thoughts and desires and emotions for her sworn enemy.

Caroline is loyal to the fault. She is ready to die for those she loves and cares for (either they deserve it or not). So of course she is not going to give in to Klaus and she will fight him to the end. And this makes her strong. And independent and powerful. She stands up to him. And manipulates him. She sees their common traits. She is not blind. Klaus is like a version of her in many aspects. And he also has great taste so that is a plus (come on he plans parties and knows about dresses lmao). And the game continues and the more it does the more her head and heart spin. Why? Because she sees more sides of Klaus in this pull and push but most importantly she sees more sides of her. She gets to understand her own self better and connect with her desires. The unspoken. The dark. Those that only Klaus can ignite and she knows it and …she likes it. And she hates that she likes it. Because no matter how many see her as the cute innocent little saint Caroline Klaus sees her for who she really is. He sees the woman. He sees her as a menace and as an emotional compass but also as a vampire that wants to relish in the power and the bloodlust and the immortality and that does not diminish her light. It makes it brighter for him while everyone else would condemn it.

Caroline suddenly stops being a girl. She is the woman that is too smart to be seduced. She is the woman that can inspire those kind of gazes of desire that in their name empires have risen and fell and legends have been born. Suddenly Caroline Forbes has the promise of the eternal love and a man that is willing to wait for her without asking nothing in return (and by giving her anything she wants) literally for all eternity. And he had been around for a thousand years and knows the world and yet after all his experiences it is her that he wants above all. Because she is worth it.

So now Caroline falls. Falls deeper in the rabbit hole and she is confronted with all the emotions that keep hitting her relentlessly. She gets confused and angry with herself. Because she knows about control and Klaus has managed not only to shake that infamous control of hers but to break down her walls even if she won’t admit it. This in her mind was not meant to be Klaus. It was meant to be one of the people she would have died for. And yet those have not returned the favor. It was Klaus. In every turn.

So she slowly lets him in without giving in while giving in. This is frustrating. And it cuts deep. And as a vampire she feels it in her bones. She can’t throw away the drawing. She can’t forget that she has seen good in Klaus and can’t forget that she can now understand his dark sides too that also belong to her. Klaus represents all her the greatness she inspires to achieve one day and all the darkness that has been brewing inside her.

And he is there for her. He is there to do something no one else has even done for her. And that is simply to listen. He is not there for her to fix. He is not there for her to support. He is not there for her to save. He is not there so she could prove herself. He is not there to make her fight for attention. He fights to be noticed by her as she fought to be noticed by others and he genuinely wants to hear what she thinks. He wants to hear about her dreams, her hopes, her aspirations. Everything she wants from life. And he is ready in a blink to sweep her off her feet. Paris, Rome, Tokyo. He is there for her when she becomes the bad guy and he is there for her when she at her lowest point. She doesn’t have to pretend with Klaus. She doesn’t have to be someone she is not. She just have to be Caroline. And that is more than enough. She is enough. She is the first choice. She doesn’t have to be perfect. Her imperfections are someone’s perfect wish. However long it takes.

So Caroline might not love Klaus now but she loves who she is in his presence. And he is also one charming devil and their chemistry is off the charters. She can be carefree and laugh with him. He can make her smile and scream and fight. They have blood shared also. So she remembers the sensation all too well.

It takes only one kiss (she initiates) for her to lose control and jump his bones. It is her choice. She has the upper hand. The typical roles of the romance have been reversed. She is in charge.

Caroline never loses her agency here. She gets to get a taste of what it means to be not the pawn in the chess game but the Queen. And she can’t forget that. She can’t forget how it feels to not be jealous, or insecure and to be someone’s dream. She can’t forget how it is to dream the impossible and to have someone assure you that it is in your reach and simply by existing being the prime example that is showing you that he is telling the truth. So she starts dreaming of all the what ifs.

She is however still young. She is at her beginning but the promise is still there lingering in the back side of her mind. And will remain there ready to take root and flourish when the time is right and if there is one thing immortals have in abandon that is time. And time shapes and gives the opportunity even to the more suppressed emotions to find their way out and to come rushing to the surface.

So mark my words….Perhaps one day, in a year or even in a century…however long it takes…

anonymous asked:



  • let me explain to you a thing about body autonomy.

you, anon, are a person who is clearly in control of their own thoughts and body. you decided to come into my house and yell at me, not for any particularly good reason, but because you wanted to. you thought, “hey, this seems like a great idea. i guess i’ll probs go do it”

and you did.


you made a choice to come here and do a mean thing

if somebody planted a chip in your brain that wiped all your memories and recollection of who you were and forced the new blank slate (through torture and abuse) to come to my blog and send me this message, you know what? i might not like it, but I would understand.

which brings me to my second point.



Alexander Pierce and Hydra are clearly the villains of CATWS. In fact, the movie literally JUMPS THROUGH HOOPS to show how much NONE OF WHAT BUCKY DOES IS HIS FAULT

how he has been brainwashed and abused until he is no longer even a person, just an empty hollow shell who carries out orders like a trained animal

only when he meets steve does he have something even resembling a reawakening, but GUESS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS THE NEXT MOMENT? ALEXANDER PIERCE COMES STORMING THE FUCK IN TO BLEACH HIS BRAIN AGAIN UNTIL HE’S BACK TO A CLEAN SLATE. and we are shown this, in excruciating detail. you could compare the winter soldier to a lost love character archetype more than you could compare him to the villain

we are also shown steve’s complete and total refusal to kill bucky. i don’t honestly believe Captain America would have spared the life of a bad guy who’s done as many awful things as bucky, even if that villain was his oldest and dearest friend. it would tear him apart, but he would take them down. but not bucky. why?


which brings me to my third point 

  • yes the winter soldier is a killer, but not a human one; a machine. you don’t call machines villains, they aren’t capable of sentient thought.
  • if a machine killed your entire family you wouldn’t blame the machine, you would blame the people who created it,

so, in essence, begone with your “THE WINTER SOLDIER IS A VILLAIN BECAUSE HE KIIILLLLED PEOPLE” bullshit

you’re not convincing me, and you’re not convincing Steve Rogers

May I just say a couple of things about what's wrong with harassing Tohru Adachi Fans for liking the character?

I am not posting this into the tags, because I don’t wanna get involved into flame wars with complete strangers, but still. feel free to reblog this. I am just getting sick of seeing friends and people I follow getting bombarded with Anon hate just for having a favorite character to talk about.

Careful, contains the topic of rape. 

Keep reading

Hanny Tales part 7b: Jack Crawford, fairy doctor and bereaved parent, or: how losing Miriam affected the entire first season

NOTE UP FRONT: You should probably read at least parts 1 and 3-5 before this if it’s going to make any sense to you; it’s long enough without re-defining everything. You can find all those parts below!

Part 1: liminality and borderlands
Part 2: Will Graham as Tam Lin
Part 3: Hannibal as the Fairy Queen
Part 4: kingdoms under the hill: Hannibal’s otherworldly environments 
Part 5: Abigail Hobbs, changeling child
Addendum to Part 5, re: Potage
Part 6a: The women of Hannibal, food, and entrapment (Bella, Freddie, and Alana)
Part 6b: The women of Hannibal, food, and entrapment (Abigail and Bedelia)
Part 7a: Jack Crawford: Fairy King?
Part 8a: Will Graham, fairy rings, and the Fairy Queen’s dominion
Part 8b: Tam Lin again: The Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane as Carterhaugh

Okay, at LONG LONG last, here’s the second part of my Jack Crawford analysis: Jack as a fairy doctor and a man who lost a child to the fairies. Before I get into it, though, time for a big complicated ol' trigger warning (in addition to all the stuff you’d expect in a post about Hannibal), because any discussion of changelings that actually deals with the lore is potentially triggering when it comes to ableism and child abuse

Changeling stories are, in many cases, early explanations for developmental disorders and autism-spectrum conditions, and many of the supposed methods of getting rid of the “changeling” and getting one’s own “real” child back are horrifically abusive. Unfortunately, in this case, I can’t completely avoid talking about those methods. Moreover, because of the way my whole analysis here functions, I am working within a binary between human and fairy/otherworldly/unheimlich; as these characters–particularly Georgia–fit into it here, the discussion unfortunately can set up the idea that a person who is developmentally disordered, neurodiverse, or mentally ill is not human. I want to make it very clear that this is not the case in reality.

Hannibal is a show that works within a system of symbols. In that system, many character behaviors or themes that are attached to mental illness or neurodiversity map onto “the otherworldly” in my analysis because in the show they are symbolically tied to violence, death, and/or confusion of identity. I am interpreting the symbology within this binary human/fairy framework, but I do not at all intend to suggest that someone with Cotard’s Syndrome, for example, is somehow not human in real life. In making this analysis within said frameworks (the show’s symbology + my whole fairy schtick), because fairies are so intrinsically defined as inhuman/alien/etc., I find it hard to avoid using words like “human” to describe the heimlich, mortal, not-fairylike world. Given this context, it can read as very ableist. While in terms of the show this discussion is mostly abstract, it’s still historically connected and so the language may be triggering. So for all of that, be warned. (When I have to discuss the abusive methods for getting your child back, I’ll warn specifically that those descriptions are coming.)

Okay! Now that we can actually get started, we need to establish a few things in order to set the scene. To start with: Last time we said Jack was a fairy figure, right? So how can I now read him as mortal, and what’s this whole fairy doctor thing?

I established in part 4 that physical environments on the show tell you a lot about human vs. fairy spaces and identities. Jack’s work environment, as I discussed at length, is clearly distinct from Will’s home (the locus of the mortal and ordinary), and has a surprising amount in common with Hannibal’s office (the meeting of the faerie and the human); but Jack’s bedroom is something quite different. His bedspread is a blue-brown plaid I most associate with Will. The room as a whole is cozy, comforting, organic. The look of the show started out yellow and bright, and has become increasingly green/red and dark over time; Jack’s bedroom is golden in a way that calls back to the earlier episodes, the setting before Hannibal starts to take over. This makes sense, because the room is his human sanctuary.

Moreover, it’s important that the show takes the time at all to show us his home life and how different he is with Bella from the way he is at the BSU. It gives him a whole dimension that is not at all oriented to death and murder–that is, the unheimlich, which we know to be fairy space. However, we can’t ignore his work completely: he still organizes his life around the incursions of fairies and their otherworld (in the form of killers and crime scenes). It would be silly to pretend he’s entirely naive to the workings of the fairy world. In this sense I’d group him with Freddie, whom I described as a witch, in that they’re both genre-savvy. They both know that the unheimlich exists and that they live on the edge of it; they both understand the importance of knowledge and information in negotiating it. But where Freddie’s a witch–someone who uses the otherworldly to her own ends–I’d say Jack is a fairy doctor. A fairy doctor is someone who helps mortals deal with or banish fairies who have interfered with their lives. In particular, they often pop up to assist parents who are trying to get rid of a changeling and recover their own child.

I said in part 6a that Bella, though she is human, has found herself in a liminal state due to her cancer. What’s interesting about this here is that the conversation the Crawfords have dealing with this fact of liminality takes place outside their home. In fact, it happens in Hannibal’s office, which is inherently a place where the human and the fairy meet. Meanwhile, almost every conversation in which Bella puts Jack off and hides the truth from him takes place in their bedroom. This is relevant because one of her reasons (and only one–she has plenty of her own) for hiding her cancer from him is an effort to protect him from her liminality, how her encroaching death makes her vulnerable to the faerie. She expects him to take her burden on himself once he finds out, because he’s someone who beats back the otherworldly things that exploit the liminal, who provides solutions to faerie problems. In their home, Jack’s human space, she does her best to keep her own liminality at bay.

When you consider Miriam, Abigail, Georgia, and Will, Jack’s role as a fairy doctor, combined with his personal bereavement due to Miriam’s loss, turns out to be pivotal to the entire plot in the last two episodes of the season. It’s all about who he identifies as a “real” (i.e. human) child and who he identifies as a changeling, and how he reacts to being wrong—or so Hannibal leads him to believe. The effect receiving Miriam’s arm has on him directly influences his perceptions of guilty and innocent, mortal and fairy, natural and unnatural, and therefore defines the way Season 1 ends. As we will see, Miriam’s loss, and her arm’s return, create a deep and emotional skewing of Jack’s mindset that explains his reckless treatment of Will, his innate mistrust of Abigail and Georgia, his inability to see Hannibal for what he is, and–eventually–his grim and inexorable certainty that Will is guilty and must be stopped. But let me not get ahead of myself. In order to work all this out, we need–as a certain Alice who’s been to another world might say–to begin at the beginning, go on until we come to the end, and then stop.

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Pairing: Ziam
Author: @guilty1dlove / Laziam (AO3)     Title: Curtain Call
Count: 4 / 6

“Stop… I said, stooop!”

James Corden, renowned director of Corden’s Little Theatre, waves his arms in the air furiously.

“Liam, you have to do better than that,” he reprimands the young actor on the stage. “You’re hugging your lady like she’s your estranged mother. Where is the passion?”

“I’m not a rom-com actor, James. I do classical theatre, remember?” It’s interesting to hear such thinly veiled frustration from Liam; he’s notoriously polite and usually quite respectful of the show’s director.

“You’re the only leading man around here, and you have merely hours to sort yourself out. Also, where is your jacket? You’re supposed to wear your leather jacket in this scene.”

The director looks around the room, irritation flaring up in his voice. “Stagehand? The jacket? Anyone?”

Zayn watches the proceedings from his safe place behind the crossover. He studies set design at uni and considers himself lucky to have landed a part time job with the company as a runner. Even though the job is casual, Zayn doesn’t miss a single rehearsal or performance. He loves everything about the theatre, from the hustle and bustle behind the scenes to the magic created on the stage, and most of all: he loves Liam Payne.

He has never actually spoken to Liam, not as such. They smile at each other when they pass in the corridors, and Zayn sometimes thinks that Liam looks at him for longer than necessary, but that can’t possibly be true, seeing as he could date any of the legions of fans that wait for him by the exit every evening.

Right now, Zayn is a little annoyed that Mr Corden is having a go at Liam about something that is not his fault. He can’t help it if he and Clare, the leading actress, are not compatible.

Niall, the sound technician, unexpectedly throws the jacket to Zayn, his customary, jovial grin on his face. “Go and give this to Liam, before the boss bursts a blood vessel.”

“I can’t go out there; I’ve never even set foot onto that stage,” Zayn protests.

“Go…shoo.” Niall flicks his hand in the direction where Liam, Clare and Mr Corden are discussing the closing scene. Zayn awards him a withering glare but does as he is told. He walks out, clutching the jacket to his chest.

“Who the hell are you?” Mr Corden wants to know.

“Z-Zayn… Um, I have the jacket.”

“Well, boy, don’t stand there and gape, Liam needs it.”

Zayn hands the item over, wanting the ground to swallow him whole, when their fingers touch and he turns an embarrassing shade of red. To make matters worse, Liam thanks him profusely and winks at him. It’s all too much for Zayn, so he flees to the green room, where he feels safe and secure.

Niall is already there, lounging on one of the comfortable sofas. With him are Harry, the make-up artist, and Louis, who is in charge of the costumes. The two of them are very much in love, permanently flirting with each other. All of them are great lads, always including Zayn in everything, not looking down on him for being the lowly assistant.

“How was that for you, Zaynie?” Niall quips.

“Very funny, Nialler,” Zayn says, punching him playfully on the arm. “Thanks to you, the boss now thinks that I’m some kind of bumbling idiot—Liam was nice, though,” he adds softly.

The other three roll their eyes affectionately. Zayn hasn’t specifically opened up to any of them about his feelings for Liam, but somehow, they all seem to have gotten the picture.

“I hope everything goes smoothly tonight,” Louis says, feeding Harry peanuts from a bowl.

“It better had done; it’s a sell out. Rich business man falls in love with his sassy secretary—very original—but the tickets are going like hot cakes, so there must be a market for it,” Niall muses, flicking through a magazine without actually reading anything.

“What should we order to eat then, lads?” Louis asks.

The cast members traditionally go out for lunch together before the final dress rehearsal, leaving the crew to get a take-away, since they are required to stay for the final checks on the day of the opening performance.

“I thought we decided on a chippy. I’ll just grab my keys and get it; everyone want their usual?” Harry is already halfway through the door to the shouts of agreement from the others.


“That’s it; we will have to postpone. I hope people will understand, otherwise I’m finished,” James barks, arriving backstage with a face like thunder.

“What happened, boss?” Louis asks with apprehension.

“What happened? I tell you what happened. Both Clare and Michelle are in hospital with food poisoning. Whose bright idea was it to let the lead actress and her understudy eat the same food?” James rages, frantically pacing up and down.

“Erm, yours?” Louis suggests.

“That was a rhetorical question, Louis.” James huffs, holding his forehead. “Right, we need to let the press know and contact the people who’ve bought tickets.”

“Isn’t that a huge risk?” Harry asks, kind of stating the obvious.

“Yes, Harry, I’m aware of that but I have no other option.” With that, he storms off, cursing under his breath.

“Shit, that’s disastrous news. The theatre’s finances and reputation are at stake. What a bummer that nobody else knows the part,” Louis sighs, shrugging his shoulders.

“I do; shame that I’m not a girl.”

Zayn’s voice is barely audible, but the others must have heard him, because suddenly the room falls completely silent. Harry and Louis stare at him openmouthed, exchanging meaningful glances. Zayn can practically see the cogs turning in their heads.

Seconds later, Louis slaps his hand on Zayn’s shoulder. “And you know all of the lines and all of the blocking?”

“Yes, of course. I know everyone’s role off by heart,” Zayn confirms, wondering why that might be important.

Next thing he knows, both Harry and Louis throw their arms around him.

“Zayn, you are a genius,” Louis shrieks, bobbing up and down on the balls of his feet.

“Why? And why are you two looking at me like that?” Zayn is confused, searching Louis’ face for answers.

Harry springs into action, taking Zayn by the shoulders and guiding him to the large mirror in the dressing room.

“Because, Zaynie, look at your reflection and say hello to the new sexy secretary.”

“Guys, what are you talking about? I’m still not a woman.” Zayn is unsuccessfully trying to connect the dots.

“Let Louis and me worry about that. You’re gonna be the saviour of this production, and as an irresistible bonus—” Harry pauses for dramatic effect, “—you get to kiss Liam.”

Zayn couldn’t be any more horrified if he tried. “No, absolutely not… I can’t do that… I’d die,” he says, raking his fingers through his hair.

“It’ll be fine; come on, let’s break our killer idea to the boss.” Harry’s enthusiasm would be endearing if Zayn’s nerves weren’t so frazzled.

“You want to do what? Don’t you think this day is enough of a catastrophe without your inappropriate jokes?” James’ tone is disappointed rather than angry. “This is a part for a woman, in case that fact has escaped your notice.”

Zayn is searching for something useful to say. He wishes, he had never mentioned his obsession with the scripts. “Don’t blame Harry and Louis; they didn’t mean any disrespect,” he says as firmly as he can.

But Louis is having none of it, ”It’s not disrespectful; it’s a phenomenal idea, ”he challenges his employer. “Just think about the papers picking it up, hailing you as a progressive director; a master of innovation even.”

“Yes, let’s get Zayn ready and do the dress rehearsal. If you’re not convinced, you can still cancel. What do you have to lose?” Harry joins in with the charm offensive.

“I can’t believe; I’m saying this and make no mistake…I think you’re all batshit crazy, but go ahead. If there is the slightest chance we can premiere tonight, it might be worth a try,” James concedes with an unsuccessful attempt at a smile.

The next hour turns out to be the longest in Zayn’s 20 years of existence. Louis dresses him in traditional office attire, complete with prosthetic bra and longhaired wig. The black pencil skirt and white blouse miraculously fit like a glove. After an intensive search in a huge trunk, he manages to find a pair of tights that he thinks will fit. He brushes away Zayn’s concern, that size S may be too small for him, by pointing out that his bulge is offset by his non existent arse.

Zayn doesn’t quite know what he is expecting when Harry sits him down in the makeup chair, but it isn’t this. Using countless brushes, lotions and powders, he transforms Zayn’s face into something that looks beautifully feminine. He can’t believe what a fantastic job those two have done.

“And now, for the piece de resistance, “Louis chimes, holding up a pair of red, intimidatingly high stilettos.

“No way can I wear them,” Zayn states categorically,” they will put me into A&E faster than you can say “broken ankle”.

“Just practise for a while, “Louis assures him, “Haz wears similar ones at home all time.”

Zayn thanks him mentally for that wonderful piece of oversharing, but he doesn’t want to offend him by not even trying, and although the shoes slip on quite easily, they put his feet at an impossible angle.

“Wow…I didn’t expect it to hurt this much,” he winces, “tremendous respect for the the ladies… and you, Harry.”

“You look out of this world, Zaynie.” Louis claps his hands, “and please put your glasses back on to perfect the look.”

Harry and Louis continue to marvel at their handiwork, as Zayn grows more and more petrified by the minute. Has he bitten off more than he can chew?

When the call for the dress rehearsal finally comes, he thinks he might actually faint, but then he decides that he is made out of sterner stuff and that he will not let James, the crew and most importantly Liam down.

The rehearsal goes smoothly, and Zayn finds himself growing in confidence with every successful scene. When he has interactions with Liam, he has to concentrate hard not to miss his cues, and when they have to touch, his voice gets a bit wobbly. Hopefully, the audience will take that as a sign of an emotive performance. All in all, it runs smoothly until the final scene.

Zayn is preparing himself for the climactic moment, where Liam is supposed to take his hand and plant a chaste kiss onto the corner of his mouth. However, Liam is clearly not willing to follow the script. In total disregard for the instructions, he swiftly pulls Zayn towards him, holding onto his wrist with one hand and putting the other one on his cheek. He brushes his lips against Zayn’s, before kissing him passionately.

Zayn is practically floating until the rapturous applause from everyone in attendance brings him back to reality.

“Bravo…bravo! If that’s not chemistry, then I don’t know what is.” James beams, jumping up from his chair. “You, young man, are a hero. Let’s go and get ready for tonight’s show.”

Everyone disperses, but Liam doesn’t move. Zayn is acutely aware, that he is still holding on to his wrist.

“You were amazing, Zayn,” he says softly. “I wanted to ask so many times… erm… would you like to go to dinner with me…sometime….maybe?”

Zayn can’t help but grin like an idiot, “Yes, I would love to, but only if I can wear more comfortable footwear.”

“It’s a deal,” Liam laughs, leading an ecstatic Zayn off the stage.

Fanfic - Back on the Market - 1/1

Title: Back on the Market

Prompt: Sugar and the rest of the New Directions decide Blaine needs to get over his break up and sets him up on a blind date. A date that goes so horrible Blaine calls Sebastian to bail him out.

Pairing: Seblaine

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3495

A/N: For Seblaine Sunday :3

“Blaine Anderson, I have a date for you.”

Blaine carefully placed his heavy history text in his locker, bracing himself before turning to Sugar. Her sugary pink lips were stretched out in a pleased with herself smile that made Blaine nervous.

“Um, pardon me?”

“I got a date for you,” Sugar said enunciating each word.

“I’m going have to decline,” Blaine shouldered his bag. “I’m not ready to date right now-”

“Stop! Don’t say another word!” Sugar held up her finger to silence him. “We all know you’re still getting over being dumped after Mr. Schue’s wedding.”

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