the human cannonball

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: every time i need to see your face i just close my eyes and i am taken to a place where your crystal mind and magenta feelings take up shelter in the base of my spine sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola i dont need to try and explain i just hold on tight and if it happens again i might move so slightly to the arms and the lips and the face of the human cannonball that i need to i want to

In D&D we have these magical cloaks that let either person wearing them warp to the other’s location. We were fighting a dragon today and it flew 80 feet up in the air. Charity fastball special’d our dwarf fighter, Sol, up at her, but didn’t get a good enough roll to get her on the dragon (Charity has 25 st and a +11 to athletics, she could totally throw a dwarf 80 feet in the air with a good roll) so she bamfed to Sol and final fantasy jumped off her shoulders to reach the dragon (because she was hasted and had like a million actions).

Then Sol bamfed up to the dragon too once Charity latched on, because she’d been holding her action.

It’s extra great because our backstory is we’re performers in a circus where Charity is the Strongman(/teenage girl) and Sol is the human (dwarf) cannonball so this is all 100% in-character dragon slaying tactics.

Dear GC,

You shouldn’t make fun of human cannonballs.

Do you know how hard it is to hold a steady job when you’re always fired?



so I know i’ve talked about how I view vanguards in mass effect before, but i’ve played a lot more recently and read some interesting shit, so here we go

so vanguards literally use themselves as human cannonballs. from what i can tell - and what i theorize - they have very little care for their personal safety. as long as they hit hard and take out as many enemies at once as they can, they’re happy. just take a look at some of their powers. 

charge: throw yourself at hyper speed at the enemy with enough force to snap a man’s neck. 

nova: use your biotic barrier - your protection - to create an explosion outwards from yourself.

you can’t look at these and tell me that a vanguard has a real great sense of personal safety. now, unless they’re regularly charging themselves into a hoard of cerberus agents or marauders - which is a quick route to death let me tell you - a vanguard’s got to have a decent sense of battle tactics and timing. whether it’s pulling a group of mercs into the air to focus on the heavy-hitters or tearing apart a krogan warlord before they can regenerate, there’s planning going on there beyond just “hit it hard and fast”.

add on to that the fact that a vanguard is blatantly trying to command the attention of the battlefield. vanguard powers are loud. they’re flashy. they’re quite often ‘in your face’. which means that while a vanguard’s keeping that heavy-hitting cerberus asshole busy, their teammates have a clear shot from farther away. in some cases, especially with powers like pull and lift, a vanguard is practically leaving a candy trail of easy kills behind them for their squad.

depending on how you play, vanguards are basically the scariest form of crowd control there is in the mass effect universe. most of their powers can be used on multiple people at once. pull, nova, and shockwave - plus charge, depending on how you upgrade - are meant to incapacitate the largest number of enemies, and this usually means being close to the enemy. 

imagine a soldier running straight at you and your pals, deflecting shots with a biotic barrier, then detonating that barrier when they get close. no wonder you hear that cerberus agent scream “oh shit, it’s Shepard!” on mars

The signs as roles in a circus
  • Aries: fire-breather
  • Taurus: one of the ppl that stands on the elephants
  • Gemini: trapeze
  • Cancer: clown
  • Leo: lion-tamer (what did u expect)
  • Virgo: tight-rope
  • Libra: motorcycle in the sphere
  • Scorpio: ring-leader
  • Sagittarius: circus horses
  • Capricorn: daredevil
  • Aquarius: human cannonball
  • Pisces: contortionist
  • Girl: I'm fine
  • What she means: Anytime I need to see your face, I just close my eyes And I am taken to a place where your crystal mind and Magenta feelings take up shelter in the base of my spine Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola I don't need to try and explain; I just hold on tight And if it happens again, I might move so slightly To the arms and the lips and the face of the human cannonball That I need to, I want to

March 2015 commissions by John Byrne.

1. Wolverine meets Wolverine
2. Eclipso
3. Batman & Spider-Man Vs The Circus of Crime, Joker & Hulk

Other months can be found here: Commission Of The Month

What was your favorite John Byrne commission of March 2015?

Week 1 Group Photo:  THE CIRCUS MAXIMUS
The members of the team–from left to right: The Ringmaster, The Human Flea, The Aggrobats, Lioness, The Gordian Knot, Two Hippos McGee, and Human Cannonball–unwinding after a hard day’s work of saving the world and entertaining millions. At the same time.

Art by Brian Reyes & Nate Moody.

Characters created by Kevin Johnson, Nate Moody, Josh Eckert, Jackie Crofts, James F. Wright, Brian Reyes and Jimi Okelana.