the hollow crown: henry iv

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You wouldn’t have expected it based on how he acted as a youth. But no sooner had his father stopped breathing than the prince’s wildness died too. Really, at that precise moment he gained a capacity for reflection, which appeared like an angel to chase away the sinful part of him, leaving his body like a paradise, fit to house only lofty thoughts and feelings.

                                                                                 Henry V, Act 1, Scene 1

                                                                                     William Shakespeare

Henry IV Part 1 (as Terrible Meme Poetry)

my nayme is hal and wen it’s nite
or wenn the moone is shining brite
yu will not find me in my bed
i’m getting drunke with frends insted

i so like being debotched and wylde
father wantes hotspur as his chylde
but he is in for big surprise
he will see his bright son rise

i will fite for dad and country
even if i change abruptly
i will impress while he’s alyve
Henree four, meet Henree fiyve

7

My dear Hal,

you look absolutely delicious all wet and rumpled. Your hands are the most beautiful ones I ever saw. All slender, with delicate fingers and so long. And I’d love to lick that throat of yours. Touch that bulging vein with my tongue. You are sexy beyond description and make me think about debauchery things. My mind wanders to places that make me equally wet as you are. You are really filthy and dirty. And I don’t mean that in a good way. The mud is coming of in pieces from your skin. Please take a bath in something else than wine or ale. I’d help you with that. 

“Thy due from me
Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood,
Which nature, love, and filial tenderness,
Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously:
My due from thee is this imperial crown,
Which, as immediate as thy place and blood,
Derives itself to me. Lo, here it sits,
Which God shall guard: and put the world’s whole strength
Into one giant arm, it shall not force
This lineal honour from me: this from thee
Will I to mine leave, as ‘tis left to me.”

Henry IV/ii, William Shakespeare