Imagine introducing the company to new creative insults
You: *to a stranger that insulted one of the dwarves for no reason* you sir, are a giant quivering asshole!
You: *to a buckle on your pack* you fucking useless waste of space! You had one fucking job and you’re doing a shit-tastic job of not doing it!
You: *to your horse for biting you* fuck you, you cock goblin!
You: *to the wet wick on a candle* you’re about as useful as nipples on a man.
You: *sighs* I’m such an anti-social dumpster potato.
The company: *taking notes*
A/N: For the anon that wanted a reader-insert Thranduil’s wife (with a Bofur appearance) in Mirkwood. I hope you enjoy this!
Summary: The dwarves arrive in Mirkwood, and the elf!reader has to moderate Thranduil’s vehement reactions.
Word Count: 1,711
Warnings: None, I think…
You loved your
duties as Queen of Mirkwood. It brought you joy to plan feasts and ceremonies,
to tend the luscious gardens that hid in the recesses of the woodland fortress,
but most of all you loved to care for your subjects. The people of Mirkwood
were so dear to you, and you felt their struggles and triumphs as your own.
You did not
particularly love the duty of mediating your husband, King Thranduil’s
sternness. The vigorous, impulsive, headstrong elf you had fallen in love with
was slowly replaced by a suffering, brooding king as Greenwood fell to the dark
powers of Arda. You knew of his troubles, and the very good reasons for his
withdrawing, but it did not make your task of persuading him to be mildly
pleasant any easier. You loved him with everything in you, but he did not
always make the relationship easy.
Summary – What
if Fili had a tendency to go overboard when trying to impress you?
Word Count –
Warnings – None
A/N – My first
Hobbit fic! I’m so excited! For @sdavid09’s What If Fanfic
Challenge. My prompt was “What if Fili
had a tendency to go overboard when trying to impress you?” Special thanks to @life-is-righteous for being
my beta on this one!
Since this is my first time writing for a new fandom, I’m only tagging my forevers. If you are on my forevers list and you only want tagged in Supernatural, just send me an ask or message and let me know, and I’ll move you to my new SPN tag. If you want tagged in future stories - SPN, Hobbit, or both - just let me know!
no! Not again! You thought, as Fili jumped in front of you and
slashed his sword at the warg you were getting ready to bring down. You’d
already started swinging your own sword, and you only narrowly missed hitting
the future Crown Prince. He glanced back at you for a split second after
killing the beast before twisting around and killing the orc that had been
riding the warg.
“These lands are crawling with Orcs - their numbers are growing, and you are on foot. You will never reach the forest alive. I don’t like dwarves, they’re greedy and blind, blind to the lives of those they deem lesser than their own. But Orcs I hate more.”
A/N: For @princess-of-erebor1992 who requested a fic based on this imagine from @imaginexhobbit! Sorry it took a little while (and that I’m posting it at an awkward time), but here it is!
Summary: After being dropped in Middle Earth, it takes a while for you to find your voice again.
Word Count: 1471 (went a little overboard on this one)
Warnings: None, I think? Some mild freaking out, maybe.
It had been a full day since you
had appeared on the forest path in front of the company, glowing like a wraith,
and just as silent. The panic on the dwarves’ face at the unexpected presence
was nothing to your panicked expression, your eyes darting wildly around as you
took in the horrifyingly foreign surroundings. Gandalf had swooped in and
collected you with very little fuss, insisting that you travel with the
company. Thorin had been less than pleased at that, protesting that they knew
nothing about you, that you would only be a hindrance on this very important
quest. But the grey wizard merely ignored Thorin’s protestations and hoisted you
up onto Bilbo’s pony, assuring you that the company would take good care of
Through the whole exchange, you had
not said a word. You were too terrified.
Imagine... walking through Mirkwood forest with the Company and finding a baby Ent (or baby Groot)
“Are we even going the right way? We lost the path ages ago…” you complained.
“… Course we are! We are heading East!” Thorin stated firmly, despite the look of confusion on his face.
Biting your tongue, you look at your surroundings - *sigh* - gloomy forest here, gloomy forest there. ‘Hmm. What’s that?’
In the corner of your eye you spotted a small figure, trying to hide behind a rock.
As you approach the rock slowly, you hear a quiet whimpering. ‘Aww poor little thing - its scared!’. You crouch down a few feet away from the creature.
“Hey little guy. Its okay, I won’t hurt you“ you cajole. A small head popped up from behind the rock. “Are you lost too?” you ask softly.
“I am Groot…” the creature answered, looking miserable.
“Hi Groot. I’m (Y/N). Do you want to come with u-” you looked around, finding no trace of the Company “-with me, then?”
“I am Groot!” he exclaimed gleefully, running towards you with open arms.
“Well then, Groot” you say as you place him on your shoulder. “Lets hope we can find my friends again.”
“Hold on!” Dwalin grunted, “Where’s the (lass/lad) gone?”
He watched as each member of the company, began to spin around search for their missing companion. One member in particular becoming the most distressed.
“When was the last time anyone saw (Y/N)?. We need to go ba-” Thorin ordered.
“Here! I’m Here!” you yell. “Look what I found!” you state proudly, holding out Groot. You enjoyed the looks of baffled expressions of the Company. “Isn’t he cute!” you gushed as Groot waved at the dwarves and Bilbo.
Walking past the group, towards you, “(Y/N)… What is that thing?” Thorin questioned slowly. Furrowing his brow at the creatures offended expression.
Bilbo interrupted. “I do believe that it may be an Ent. Although I read that they were meant to be much bigger. Perhaps he is a young *ahem* ent…” the hobbit trailed off.
“His name is Groot…” you grinned. “He’s lost too, and will be joining us”.
Preferences: Their favourite place to kiss you part 2
Thorin loves to pepper kisses in your hair. It’s one of his favourite things about you. He does it sometimes to comfort you and to reassure himself that you are still here after everything they’ve been through. He adores kissing your courting braid as it is a symbol of the bond and promise the two of you share.
Kili adores your neck and knows your sensitive spots are, as a result of this he constantly be giving you hickeys. He loves being able to give you pleasure from the smallest of touches and kisses. He also loves how your grip I’m his hair tightens as a result of his ministrations.
To Bofur your nose had to be the cutest thing about you and he simply can not resist placing a kiss on it whenever he can. Every time you’d hug it would be followed by a kiss to the nose, every time you’d pass by him he’d swoop in and kiss you nose in a flash before he went back to doing whatever task he had at the time. The cheeky hat loving dwarf even found time to kiss your nose in the middle of a battle!
Dwalin might be known as this big threatening warrior but really he was just a big softie. He would always be pressing tender kisses to your forehead when you would snuggle and he would also do it before he went into a battle, it was his way of saying that he would return.