Everything You Need To Know About ‘Planet Of The Apes’
From its origins as a classic film in 1968 to its present-day incarnation as an epic blockbuster trilogy, Planet Of The Apes has been one of the most influential sci-fi stories in Hollywood history. If you’re a newcomer to this beloved franchise, here are all the basics about Planet Of The Apes you need to know to get you up to speed.
The depiction of the apes in the original Planet Of The Apes movie is what made Lyndon B. Johnson stop eating apes: After seeing the intelligence and compassion of the apes in the original Planet Of The Apes film in 1968, U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson was so moved that he promised to never eat another ape again. It just goes to show you that art has the power to change the world!
The entire series is an allegory for how hard it is to get capers out of the jar without spilling some of the brine they are stored in: Just as the apes living under human domination in the Planet Of The Apes films struggle to liberate themselves from imprisonment, so, too, do capers willingly roll out of the jar when you tilt it. But the apes’ liberation comes with a cost of immense bloodshed, which can also be thought of as the caper water that spills out of the jar along with the capers. In a poetic twist, once the apes have assumed their place as the supreme rulers of Earth, the cycle of subjugation and revolution continues—only this time they are the frustrated chefs hoping to get some capers out of the jar.
Charlton Heston agreed to play the lead in the original Apes movie only on the condition that the film could end on him screaming at the Statue of Liberty: The acting legend was difficult to bring onboard, but after tense negations, Heston finally agreed to play the role of George Taylor only if the film ended with him yelling obscenities at the Statue of Liberty in order to, as Heston put it, “Teach that huge green lady a lesson.” Heston refused to accept monetary compensation for his role in the film, claiming that the opportunity to shout “Goddamn you!” at the Statue of Liberty and call her a “maniac” was payment enough.
The original Planet Of The Apes was banned from wide release in France for containing no naughtiness of any kind: The French public was shocked and appalled by the notion of a film that contained no tasteful or humorous nudity or brief trysts in a hillside cottage rife with ribald humor about words that sound like “penis.” The film was eventually banned from wide release after it was announced that Charlton Heston never once even goes to press his face against a buxom woman’s breasts only to have them replaced by a cow’s buttocks at the last moment.
The title of the 1968 film was originally called Planet Of The Apes And Of One Big, Living Car: Producers of the first Planet Of The Apes film originally set out to tell the story of a planet dominated by hyper-intelligent apes and a single, gigantic car that was alive and could experience emotions. This was the Big, Living Car, and he could speak, but he could not read. In the first draft of the screenplay, the Big, Living Car was meant to be Charlton Heston’s love interest, and at the end of the movie, the Big, Living Car was meant to say, “What is a human being except a small, hairless car?” before the Big, Living Car and Charlton Heston have sex with each other in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty. Unfortunately, on the first day of filming, the Big, Living Car exploded, and so filmmakers were forced to cut him from the movie.
Here are some cool gals looking mighty dapper! You can click on each photo for names and here’s some info on each fabulous woman:
Lily Elsie: English actress during Edwardian era, famous for being in many musicals and operettas
Josephine Baker: French bisexual actress, singer, and dancer who rose to prominence in the 1920s, refused to perform for segregated audiences, active with the French Resistance during WWII and the Civil Rights movement in the 50s
Dorothy Arzner: American lesbian film director who was the only female director in Hollywood during the 1930s, created the first boom mike for the Clara Bow film “The Wild Party” (1929)
Dorothy Mackaill: British-American actress who was involved in the Ziegfeld Follies, also notable for her silent-film roles
Daphne du Maurier: English bisexual author and playwright, famous for her works like Rebecca and “The Birds”
Frida Kahlo: Mexican bisexual painter, known for the feminist and nationalist themes in her paintings, created 55 self-portraits and once stated “I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.”
Hannah Gluckstein, known as “Gluck”: British lesbian artist known for her evocative Modernist paintings, adopted the name “Gluck” because she thought the sex of a painter is irrelevant
Olive Thomas: American silent-film actress, involved in the Ziegfeld Follies, possibly the first “Vargas Girl” after posing for pinup artist Alberto Vargas
Jessie Matthews: English actress, singer, and dancer who rose to prominence in the 1920s and 30s
Katharine Hepburn: American actress who helped to create the “modern woman” image in Classic Hollywood during the 1930s and 40s, wore trousers before it was fashionable for women to do so, won four Academy Awards for Best Actress
As the city tried to keep up with the new telephone craze, its communications tower wound up having 5000 telephone and telegraph lines bursting out of it. New York City in 1887 had a similar issue, making the whole city look like it was preparing for a dragon attack.
Besides giving pigeons an entirely new canvas to paint white, the forward-thinking people of the past also didn’t account for another calamity that could befall any city tying all its buildings together like a giant shoelace prank: extreme weather. Boston experienced a rare January hurricane in 1881, which brought down nearly all of those wires and made the famous architecture of the town look like it had been visited by drunk Spider-Man.
“When I first met Johnny, I was pure virgin. He changed that. He was my first everything. My first real kiss. My first real boyfriend. My first real fiancé. The first guy I had sex with. So he’ll always be in my heart. Forever. Kind of funny that word.”