the hero love story of a spy

anonymous asked:

didn't they violently murder the lesbian of colour in Atomic Blonde after putting all those baity wlw scenes in the trailer?


The way you formulated this ask, there is no way my answer isn’t going to be considered problematic, because if I say “Yes but–” it won’t mean anything since I’m trying to justify the murder of a lesbian of color right? That’s how tumblr works.

But anyway, you asked so I’m gonna answer. Short answer? Yes, she gets murdered. Violently? I mean, yes since it’s a murder but considering the brutal (VERY brutal) ways people are killed in this movie, her death is definitely the least violent. It also happens at the end of her character arc. She doesn’t die for Lorraine’s pain (manpain if she were a man).

“Baity” wlw scenes? No. They aren’t baity, since Lorraine and Delphine’s is the central relationship of the movie lol. Sure, it’s an action/spy movie, the focus is on the action, but you can bet their relationship has much more depth than any “love story” in any James Bond or Mission Impossible or whatever Straight White Action Hero movie. And Delphine is an actual character, not a blank canvas that is just there to titillate the audience with a sex scene. Also, Lorraine is pretty much cold and detached throughout the entire run of the movie. The scenes she shows her emotions the most in? Yes, with Delphine or revolving around Delphine. Anything but baity imo.

Anyway, this is my answer. Make of that what you will.

Choices Story Ideas

I was scrolling through my documents and found a file entitled ’Novel Ideas’. And judging by the fact that I’m barely halfway through writing my current novel, I’ll probably never get to write these.

On that note, here are some stuff I hope to see on Choices shelves in the future:

  • a superhero story where we get to choose our hero name, powers, and suit bc i absolutely loved the scarlet justice/steel dynamo side stories in hwu
  • a spy story
  • a road trip rom-com with runaway royalty, mistaken identities, and hitch-hiking across the country
  • a vampire romance story bc i really liked aiden’s storyline in hwu and i’m still not over the vampire diaries finale
  • a pirate story bc i’m a sucker for mc being forced to join a band of pirates as they journey to an uncharted land for either personal reasons or because they don’t really have a choice
  • fairytale retellings fused into one story; like, what if instead of the prince was stuck in a tower instead of rapunzel? or snow white and sleeping beauty were one in the same?
  • a hollywood u story bc hwu is ending and i’m still not ready plus the gang was name dropped in that one chris date so
  • dystopian teen fiction 
  • star wars + space pirates + space sirens
  • a time travel story
  • werewolves bc i may or may not be binging teen wolf while writing this
  • james’ play from the freshman bc it sounds really interesting

Those are all I could come up with at the moment. Feel free to add more!

rick and morty: the rickshank redemption
         sentence starters

spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.

‘  anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison.  ’
‘  i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do!  ’
‘  it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home?  ’
‘  get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times.  ’
‘  you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment?  ’
‘  relaxed, enough?  ’
‘  he is the smartest man in the universe.  ’
‘  well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.  ’
‘  you’ve hardly touched your pills.  ’
‘  stop saying his name. he abandoned us!  ’
‘  horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want?  ’
‘  maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling!  ’
‘  admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here.  ’
‘  yeah well, tough titties.  ’
‘  that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty.  ’
‘  if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories.  ’
‘  oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye.  ’
‘  fine, but i’m driving.  ’
‘  hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now.  ’
‘  they weaponized the eiffel tower!  ’
‘  no one’s special to him. not even himself.  ’
‘  i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill.  ’
‘  we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything.  ’
‘  i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me.  ’
‘  in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS.  ’
‘  wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie?  ’
‘  i used to wear blue pants.  ’
‘  well, well, well if it isn’t us.  ’
‘  nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it.  ’
‘  i’ll make it up as i go.  ’
‘  oh my god… i have that exact same top!  ’
‘  that’s my sister. this used to be my home.  ’
‘  imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it.  ’
‘  excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are?  ’
‘  i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough?  ’
‘  i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’  ’
‘  why would you do that? what is the matter with you people?  ’
‘  i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!!  ’
‘  awesome possum!  ’
‘  yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.  ’
‘  you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.  ’
‘  lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise!  ’
‘  he’s a spy, blow him up.  ’
‘  i’m gonna go take a shit.  ’
‘  he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun.  ’
‘  i say: fuck you.  ’
‘  you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious.  ’
‘  what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection.  ’
‘  let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.  ’
‘  he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god.  ’
‘  i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now.  ’
‘  i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron!  ’
‘  you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all!  ’
‘  who’s stupid now, bitch?  ’
‘  i’m almost proud.  ’
‘  look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working.  ’
‘  guess who dismantled the government?  ’
‘  please don’t leave me again.  ’
‘  is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison.  ’
‘  no, you’re right. where’s the vodka?  ’
‘  i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that.  ’
‘  i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out.  ’
‘  but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’
‘  take it easy – that’s dark!  ’
‘  welcome to the darkest year of our adventures!  ’
‘  if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever!  ’
‘  and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man.  ’
‘  i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake.  ’
‘  i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’
‘  that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons!  ’
‘  i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce!  ’
‘  that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end!  ’
‘  what are you talking about?  ’
‘  nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years!  ’
‘  fine. fuck it. who cares?  ’

Those Years Had a Light in Them; Or, Ryoji Kaji: Part 1

some things to keep in mind about nge’s very own the man, the myth, the legend, spending time on volume 7, stage 43 of the manga ‘verse. super rough, but i’m enjoying thinking about him more, even if just in sketches. i mean, come on, just look at him, that sweet baby k:

Part 1: “Let Me Appeal To Your Intellect” 

  • this post is meant to suggest that manga vol. 7, no. 43 tells us all we need to know about what ryoji thinks about himself and his relationships, and therefore his own motivations; he explains this quite literally to shinji in the chapter, and it’s an incredibly useful backstory (courtesy of sadamoto) for this reason, but let’s backtrack to figure out why all the things he doesn’t say matter even more
  • buckle in

Keep reading

The Spy Who Loves Me

A/N: Sorry for the stupid title! 😂 
You know, I worked hard all week, did everything on time, just so I could relax on the weekend. But then I found myself frantically writing a Raydan smut fic because my thirsty ass started re-playing TC&TF and I MISS HIM! 😭 
Blame @faded-hero and this post! And this scene from Book 3… 

Also, this is utter trash. I sprinkled in some family time to make it seem more like a story. My inner artist is not happy with it but my inner hoe is dancing. So, enjoy? 😂 

Summary: After spending the day with their children, Raydan and his wife bang. Yep. 
Rating: M 
Book: The Crown and the Flame 

You sit on the doorstep and watch. Flowers are in full bloom. Sunshine is warm upon the crisp grass. Birds chirp pleasantly and the wind carries their music to your ears. You’re in the middle of beautiful scenery, and yet you won’t look at any of it.
Instead, you watch your youngest pick another flower from the bushes. He rushes with it towards his father, who is sitting on the grass with his legs folded. Your son hands over the flower to his sister. She holds strands of their father’s hair, and tucks the flower in the knot she calls a “bwaid”.
Raydan neither flinches nor complains. He sits with a book and your middle child on his lap. You can see his lips moving as he reads to her, with his finger on the page. You can almost hear his soft voice, bringing to life the story he is reading aloud.
Your toddler giggles and begins waddling over to you.
“Come to me!”, you grin and spread your arms to him.
He keeps his eyes on your face, almost getting off-balance over a stone, but makes it to the doorstep. Upon reaching, he confidently throws himself into you.
“Mum-mum!”, he looks up and grins again.
“My darling!”
You take him into your arms and smother him with kisses. He roars with infant laughter as you nuzzle his chubby cheek.
“Mwah!”, you kiss his portly belly.
He expels a high-pitched laughter only babies are capable of. You do it over and over again to make him laugh.
“I want kisses too!”, your eldest comes bounding towards you.
She throws her arms around your neck. You laugh and kiss her cheek pressed against your face.
“My sweet, sweet Adriana”, you say to her.
A pair of small arms goes around your knees, and you look down to find your other daughter smiling shyly at you.
“And there’s my scholar!” 
You pull her onto your lap next to your son, and kiss her head. You’re smiling so wide it’s starting to hurt your cheeks. In the distance, you find your husband sitting in the same position, but looking at you. He gives you a small smile. You gesture at the children and shrug.

Leaving the children in their father’s care, you walk back into your room on important business. The letter that just arrived is spread on the table. You pore through every single line, your hands on both sides of it.
Gasping in surprise upon feeling someone kiss your neck, you almost turn but realize who it is. Raydan’s hands glide over your arms and his fingers entwine with yours on the table. You smile as he pecks your jaw, his beard grazing the side of your neck.
“Come play with us”, he whispers.
You sigh,
“I wish I could. I have to craft a reply to this letter at earliest”
“It cannot wait?”
“No. The messenger is standing by. Sorry, my love”
“Don’t be”
You wait a moment for him to leave. But he doesn’t.
“What is it?”, you ask.
“Don’t you have to go play?”
“I do”
You grin and shake your head, trying to read the letter again. Raydan tightens his grip on your hands. You find yourself leaning forward due to the pressure but with your rear against his pelvis. With your hands pinned to the table, he presses into your back. The letter is the last thing on your mind as he says,
“Once the children are asleep, I’ll be waiting for you”
You groan as he gently bites your neck before letting go. His footsteps can’t  be heard but you know he is gone. 

Keep reading

So Rogue One is often called ‘Les Mis in space’, and I for one find it pretty accurate. Especially when we compare it to the rest of the series.

Star Wars, the main film series, is textbook high fantasy. Rogue One is very pointedly not. Just look at our heroes: a petty criminal, a spy, a cargo pilot and a pair of (ex) temple guards. Not a single queen, princess, Jedi or any sort of chosen one in sight. Just little people.

And that’s exactly what I love about Les Misérables: all of its heroes are little people. No high-ranking politicians, no great generals, no royalty. The author takes an ex-convict, a factory-worker-forced-into-prostitution, her daughter, a cop, some students, a street kid, and makes them important. These little people become grand, they become heroes, all these little lives matter and they haves stories worth telling.

Sure, the heroes of Rogue One accomplish something grander together, but if the rest of the series is Lord of the Rings in space, then, I think it is fitting to call Rogue One ‘Les Misérables in space’ in turn.


Impatiently Waiting for The Silver Mask (The Magisterium #4) by Holly Black and Cassandra Clare 

I’m not going to lie to you guys. The Magisterium is a Middle-Grade series and I am a grown woman and yet The Bronze Key (book 3) killed me. KILLED ME. I was blown away and devastated and shocked and angry. There was a bit of “How dare Cassandra Clare and Holly Black do this to me?” I’m sure both authors sensed it and laughed hysterically in their caves of evil. 

Basically, if you like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson you will probably love Callum Hunt…except Collum isn’t the chosen one of the heroes of our story. It’s loopy, topsy, turvy, twisty and a whole lot of fun.

Big fan and excited for the next book in the series. 

Official Synopsis:

Callum Hunt’s life has fallen apart.

His friend is gone. The spy has escaped. His secret is out.

He is facing an existence behind bars, banished from the rest of the magical community for what he is - for what he might become.

But a shocking revelation has promised freedom - at a cost. Will he stay strong, and faithful to his friends and teachers? Or take the risk, and destroy everything he’s ever loved?

This fourth year at the Magisterium will be unlike anything else that has gone before …

GREAT SUMMER READS: The Love Interest by Cale Dietrich

“I don’t exist to teach her a lesson, and it irks me that she thinks labeling me is okay now. Like, by liking guys, I automatically take on that role in her life. That I’m suddenly a supporting character in her story rather than the hero of my own.”

I’m worried about how popular my 3am rants about Atomic Blonde have gotten, so I want to clarify a couple things.

I definitely can understand why many people are upset by Delphine’s death, and I think for sure that it’s good for any wlw who go see it to know ahead of time that she dies so they can be prepared for it (I could kind of see if coming and that’s part of why I wasn’t as upset as I might have been when she was killed).

I think it’s worth criticizing how lesbians are often killed in media.

I loved the movie because it’s the kind of story and tone that appeals to me, but which I have never with wlw in before. A female lead in a spy action film with realistically brutal fights AND her love interest was a girl??? A woman action hero who is an adult and looks like an adult and can be hot without having to be put together all the time???? It was amazing to me.

But if you saw it and hated it because of Delphine’s death? That’s totally valid. I’m not trying to minimize anyone’s hurt feelings.

I do think it’s easy to be extra harsh on LGBT media, because there’s so little LGBT media. Every LGBT person thinks “Oh, finally, some media for me!” when an LGBT thing is released, but LGBT people are extremely varied and have different tastes. So not every LGBT person is going to enjoy every LGBT story. I know there’s a lot of LGBT stuff that I’m really not into.

It’s easy to get angry when something isn’t for you when you feel like it should be, and that often turns into moral outrage. Often justified.

Atomic Blonde was one of very few stories I’ve seen that is genuinely for ME. Not only because I feel represented, but because I feel catered to. It’s a movie that fits my taste as well as my identity.

But if Atomic Blonde wasn’t for you, that’s fine. Even if you’re a wlw, it’s fine if you disliked it or were upset by it. That’s valid.

This is rambling and I’m kind of worried I’m digging myself farther into a hole–I just don’t want to make it seem like I was belittling other wlw’s feelings by defending the movie.

I think it’s a nuanced issue–especially in this movie, and I’m not as confident in talking about this stuff as I used to be.

I just don’t want wlw to get in big fights over whether Atomic Blonde was The Best Thing to Ever Happen to Lesbians or The Literal Spawn of Satan and The Origin of All Homophobia.

I think movies can be different things to different people.

anonymous asked:

Hi, black woman anon, no worries, it was an old post I think, with that idiot melancholyblackwoman. It was about the chocolate being used for descriptions of black women, but then it got into discussing stereotypes, and that was where my question was coming from.

Oh! Sorry, ha, I had to go on a search to find what you meant. Apologies. Let me just copy and paste your last ask into here so I can answer you properly!

Hi, I’m a black woman and I would like some clarification if you don’t mind, I might be misunderstanding you, but what is wrong with a black woman being seen as feminine or the damsel to protect in a story? Especially in defiance of the usual stereotypes associated with black women? That doesn’t mean that all black women are the same or should be written or seen as the same. I don’t think it is fair to say that is fetishizing servitude.

Okay, so there obviously isn’t anything wrong with a black female character in a story being absolutely anything. She could be a weak damsel in distress desperate for a hero to come save her, she could be a (literal) sensual goddess, she could be an old crone of a villain, she could be a spy hidden in plain sight, she could be a heroine that defied all expectations, she could be a fairy princess that used the magic powers of loving nature to defeat her enemies with pacifism. It really doesn’t matter, in my opinion. I mean, depending on the writing and context she’d be an excellent or a terrible character, but it’s not a big deal.

The problem with that user was that she created a strawman argument herself to try and argue that it was unfair that she wasn’t seeing a pretty sexist stereotype being used instead of another pretty sexist stereotype. She and her friends were genuinely arguing that someone using the word “chocolate” to describe a black woman’s skin was racist because “food is for consumption,” whilst simultaneously ignoring the cliché use of the word “milk” to describe white women’s skin in literature. What was even more astounding for me was that she and her friends were so angry at the idea of skin being called “chocolate,” then foaming at the mouth when it was pointed out that plenty of makeup companies created and owned by black women happily use the word to describe different foundations, for example.

I look at it like this. “Ugh, it’s annoying to see X stereotype, and I would like to see more of Y stereotype,” is a perfectly understandable and fair personal opinion, whereas, “X stereotype is Literal Racism and Y stereotype is What Is Needed For Liberation” is nothing but deliberate and useless race-baiting.

Plus, to be honest, in that exchange I found it highly ironic that the argument seemed to boil down to, “We’re black women with real struggles and we want freedom and liberation! Why can’t we be stereotyped as weak, vulnerable and needing a man to protect us? That’s real liberation, right there!”

It’s just Tumblr and its irritating habit of taking personal opinions and annoyances and feeling the need to turn them into Big And Important Political Points to try and manipulate others into feeling the same way. Because, of course, if you disagree that something ridiculously minor is Absolute Oppression, then you’re automatically called a bigot.

Things like that just remind me of the ridiculously cringey “Christmas in mostly Christian countries being celebrated in public is literally oppressive antisemitism and/or Islamophobia” arguments. Nobody sane is going to say that black citizens or black women in particular have zero problems, but when there are ridiculous people willing to die on “this is how I imagine that some bad writers stereotype different people and this oppresses me” hills, I really can’t take those people as individuals seriously.

i-have-fandom-whiplash  asked:

Do you have any protective!tony fics?

Beckon Me Home by Winterstar | E | 40,178 | complete

A change in circumstances switches the tables on Tony. When an assassination attempt leaves Steve debilitated, Tony is his only hope. In order to save Steve, he might very well have to suffer the same fate as Steve. A story about the paradox of love.

The Ghosts of War by scifigrl47 | M | 60,743 | complete

Steven Rogers never wanted to be king, but he knows his duty, and he does it well. Lord Tony Stark, the king’s appointed consort, does his duty as well, even though he’d enjoy his duty more if it actually involved sleeping with the king. As it doesn’t, he’s just resigned. The war that made Steve king and cost him nearly everything may be over, but a meeting of old enemies might stir up some ghosts none of them are prepared for.

For the Wheel’s Still in Spin by Arukou | E | 57,076 | complete

Steve Rogers is a man of action, but in this brave new century, there’s no action to be had. A man without a mission, all he has to linger on are the people he let down and the lives he failed to save, and he is so very alone. Nights eat at him and days pass in a blur, and Tony Stark is the only person who seems to notice just how badly the Captain is suffering.

It’s who we are by Moonrose001 | E | 101,701 | complete

Since Registration passed on and Sentinels started guarding the streets instead of superheroes, the USA has come to resemble Dystopia more than an united country. A young group of masked teenagers are fighting back the undemocratic and unconstitutional ways, lead by Captain America.
And Steve Rogers is a handsome, but awkward student leading a double life. He is also head and heels in love with Tony Stark, the son of the government’s arms dealer.

Upon Waking by Winterstar | E | 80,244 | complete 

A story of recovery. In a world without superheroes, Tony Stark, the disinherited son of a billionaire, goes to Afghanistan as an embedded media star, only to be held hostage for months until he’s rescued. During his recovery, his therapist Doctor Bruce Banner prescribes an unusual treatment; volunteer work at a rehab center. He meets an eclectic assembled group including a vet who thinks he’s Thor, a physical therapist who might be a spy, and an all American hero, Steve Rogers. It is Steve Rogers, the soldier in a coma, who captures his interest and, eventually, his heart.

My Private Dancer by lilmoongodess | E | 31,130 | complete

Steve Rogers enters the world of high-end exotic dancing, and catches the eye of world-famous billionaire playboy Tony Stark. Will the strange relationship he develops with Tony develop into something more? Or will the high-intensity connection between them short out and burn to the ground?

Some Kind of Personal War by sara_holmes | M | 20192 | complete 

And Tony realizes that working out who the Winter Soldier used to be and who he is now are two entirely different things.

Relativistic Heat Conduction by SakuraTsukikage | E | 69,298 | complete

Age of Ultron-based, but not entirely canon compliant. Written for the 2013 Cap-Iron Man Reverse Big Bang. Ultron has attacked, obliterating most of the world’s superheroes and resistance in a matter of hours. The remaining heroes band together and share what strength they have to get through it, to survive, and defeat Ultron once and for all. Steve Rogers grieves in the wake of the disaster and the heroes’ defeat, and no one knows if he will be able to provide the leadership they need–but Tony Stark isn’t about to let him slip away that easily.

Coming Home by Sonora | M | 22,138 | complete

When S.H.I.E.L.D. approaches Tony Stark to help with their 1940s deception for Steve Rogers, to be a semi-familiar face and name to help re-introduce him to the world, Tony agrees on one condition - that it’s his show to run. And at first, it seems like his plan’s going off without a hitch. What he doesn’t account for, however, are his own growing feelings for Steve.

I’ll Give You Gifts Until You Know My Name by Amuly | T+ | 10,507 | complete

Mr. Stark is an extravagant gift-giver: he has the money for it, after all. As Iron Man, Tony has the opportunity to gift Steve even more presents that, while less expensive, are more heartfelt. Having a secret identity means Tony gets to have his cake and eat it too when it comes to showering Steve with presents.
Until Steve starts developing feelings for his armored companion, and all the benefits of living a double life are turned on their head for Tony Stark.

Just Like Flying by ashinan | G | 1,350 | complete

And with that, Steve actually jumps.

Counterpart by sara_holmes | E | 170,111 | WIP

coun•ter•part [koun-ter-pahrt] [noun] 1. a person or thing closely resembling another, especially in function. 2. a copy; duplicate. 3. one of two parts that fit, complete, or complement one another.
Just because Hydra used the DNA of a Captain America from another dimension to create a lab-grown, six-year-old super-soldier, it doesn’t mean that said six-year old super-soldier is biologically Steve’s, right?
(Where Steve wants to ban Clint from bringing things home from alternative dimensions, until he doesn’t.)

Free Me from the Light by Renai_chan | E | 27,773 | WIP

Tony loves doting on Steve–LOVES it. Steve is just so sweet and honest and grateful and nice, and Tony can’t help but proudly show him off to everyone and fawn over him with outrageous gifts and favors. The fact that he’s hot, too, and that the sex is awesome doesn’t even begin come in to play (though it certainly doesn’t hurt).
But then, the media and the public in general isn’t known to be kind to relationships between billionaire bachelors and struggling young art students.
And you can imagine how well that goes over with Steve.

Nostalgia by blue_jack | M | 48,669 | WIP

“Fuck my life. Why me?” Tony asked.

the last touchdown by calciseptine | T+ | 18,932 | WIP

All Tony Stark wants is to finish his robot. What he gets is an embarrassing and adolescent crush on the quarterback, Steve Rogers.
Alternately, that story in which Tony can’t take care of himself and everyone knows it.

many thanks to fakesheep-luna and golpalott, who suggested some of these fics!

Spoilers for SPY.

Why is no one talking about how feminist SPY is???

Hero: Female
Villain: Female and a male POC
Boss of hero: Female
Best friend of hero: Female
Love story: no
All male characters: side kicks and arm candy one of whom is JASON FUCKING STATHAM who I assumed would swoop in at the last second and save the day. Did he??? No. Miranda fucking Hart fucking did. Baller move Paul Feig.

Lazy Writing and the Hero of Destiny

You’ve heard it before a thousand times.

“You alone can complete this quest.” “You alone have the necessary courage, moral fortitude, etc.” “You were chosen by the ancient prophecy.” “You/I have to be the one to do this.”

But why?

Mainly, the reason why is because the author doesn’t know why. The author doesn’t know why a person would get off their couch to fight the alien invasion, to rebel against the evil government, or to stop the Sealed Evil in a Can from escaping.

But our hero is pure of heart! He believes in the Forces of Good, in principles, in Truth and Justice and Love!

So do many people. But hardly anyone is willing to get off their butt and take personal responsibility for The Fate of the World based on an abstraction. What your character needs is a direct, personal connection to the threat, something that compels them personally to act. This is what I call the Catalyst.

The Ancient Prophecy is a poor substitute for the catalyst. One Ancient Gatekeeper talking about Destiny is not enough to get most people to leave their family for a faraway land and risk their lives.

There are cases where this can be believable. Children are curious enough to wander into magical lands. People bored with their lives or wanting to prove themselves can be roped into many things. But this is not the same as abstract destiny.

The bystander effect is a thing that exists in real life. If you do not apply its effects to your characters, their actions will not be believable. Most of us are willing to leave dangerous jobs to someone better qualified. We are ready to assume that someone else will take care of it, or stand aside when things don’t affect us. It takes motivation beyond the ordinary to make people do extraordinary things. People need more than just to know about the problem. They need a catalyst to spur them to action.

I’m not being cynical, just realistic. Truth and Justice are great reasons to lead an army against the Evil Overlord but they are also great reasons to step down and let someone else with better practical qualifications lead.

So: why does your character have to be the hero of their story?

Here are some great ideas for the Catalyst that don’t involve Destiny:

  • Character’s life, liberty, or property is being threatened

(I am on the run from someone trying to kill me) (I have to break out of this prison) (I must fight the Evil Overlord he is coming to take my land)

  • Someone the character loves is in danger

(The Evil Overlord kidnapped my father) (If I don’t find a cure then my sister will die)

  • He/she is the only one with the necessary acquired skills to complete a specific task

(I have been hired because I am the most skilled spy/computer hacker/detective/whatever) (I have leadership experience and I know I must take the helm for this project to succeed)

  • The character just happens to be in the right place at the right time

(it could have been anyone) (I was the only person who saw that man being mugged) (I was stranded on a deserted island/planet by accident)

  • The character has a direct, personal connection with the antagonist

(The antagonist is my former friend and I may be able to talk them out of doing something evil) (The antagonist is my son and therefore stopping his plans is my responsibility) (Because the antagonist and I have a history, I am the only one who can get close enough to learn/foil his plan)

  • He/she has more information about the problem than anyone else

(I am the only one who knows the layout of the castle) (I have just been informed that we are about to be attacked, no one else knows this yet)

  • Character’s status gives them responsibility over the situation

(I have been commissioned by my superior officer to perform this task) (I am the oldest sibling and therefore in charge) (I am the leader of this nation/army and therefore this problem defaults to me)

If the only reason your main character has to forward the plot is because they are the hero of destiny, that is lazy writing. Of course, Tropes are Tools. There’s nothing inherently wrong with having your character be the subject of a prophecy. Likewise being influenced by abstract principles;  you just have to set up in their character development why it is that those principles mean so much to them.

Also, this does not exclude the idea of an underdog. You can have a nobody, an everyman, an orphaned child rise to greatness. But there are other reasons for them to engage themselves than being the hero of destiny. It’s up to you to figure out what those reasons are.

anonymous asked:

how do you feel about snape's character?

I love Snape! :D He’s complicated and that’s what makes him so interesting. Double agent, brave spy, misunderstood potion genius! Sarcastic and bitter outcast, quite a bastard (◡‿◡) His story is so… there’s unhappy childhood and unrequited love </3! His wrong choices make him a death eater. And then there’s a tragedy!!  \(ಠロಠ)/ And he’s one of the causes of the tragedy! ヽ(⊙〇⊙)ノ He’s devastated (ノ_<。)ノ Then everyone thinks he’s a traitor, coward and Voldemort’s right hand. Then it turns out he works for Dumbledore all along ლ(ʘ0ʘ)ゝ that he’s a bad guy but like.. a good guy. And he dies like a hero ⊂(¯⌒¯)⊃ I mean, how cool is that?
I feel like there should be more characters like him because fictions would be more interesting :)

  • A Bug’s Life
  • Across the Universe
  • Aladdin
  • Alice in Wonderland (1951)
  • Alice in Wonderland (2010)
  • The Amazing Spiderman
  • Amélie
  • American Hustle
  • Anastasia
  • Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy  ⎮  Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
  • Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
  • The Aristocats
  • Arrietty
  • Atlantis: The Lost Empire
  • August: Osage County
  • The Avengers
  • Ace Ventura Pet Detective
  • A Charlie Brown Christmas
  • A Christmas Story
  • The Addams Family
  • Addams Family Values
  • Adult World


  • Beastly
  • Bambi
  • Batman (2005-2012):
    • Batman Begins
    • The Dark Knight
    • The Dark Knight Rises
  • Beautiful Creatures
  • Beauty and the Beast
  • Beetlejuice
  • Better Off Dead
  • Black Swan
  • Blue Jasmine
  • The Book Thief
  • Bottle Rocket
  • Brave
  • The Breakfast Club
  • Bridesmaids
  • Bridge to Terabithia
  • Brokeback Mountain
  • Burlesque
  • The Butterfly Effect
  • Byzantium


  • Captain America: The First Avenger
  • Captain Phillips
  • Carrie (2013)
  • Cars  ⎮  Cars 2
  • Casablanca
  • Case 39
  • Casper
  • Casper Meets Wendy
  • Castle in the Sky
  • Catching Fire
  • Catch Me If You Can
  • The Cat Returns
  • Cavemen
  • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
  • Chicago
  • Chronicle
  • Cinderella
  • Coffee Town
  • The Collector
  • The Collection
  • The Conjuring
  • Coraline
  • Corpse Bride
  • Crazy, Stupid, Love  Part 1/Part 2
  • The Croods


  • Dallas Buyers Club
  • Daredevil
  • The Darjeeling Limited
  • Dark Shadows
  • Dead Poets Society
  • Despicable Me  ⎮  Despicable Me 2
  • The Devil Wears Prada
  • Disconnect
  • Don Jon
  • Don’t Look Under the Bed
  • Dracula
  • Drive
  • Dumbo


  • Easter Parade
  • Easy A
  • Edward Scissorhands
  • Elf
  • Ella Enchanted
  • The Emperor’s New Groove
  • Ender’s Game
  • Epic
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • The Exoricist


  • Fahrenheit 451

  • The

  • Fantasia

  • The Fantastic Four  ⎮  The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

  • Fantastic Mr. Fox
  • Fearless
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • The Fifth Estate
  • Fight Club
  • Finding Nemo
  • The First Time
  • Frankenweenie
  • From Up on Poppy Hill
  • Frozen


  • Ghostbusters
  • Goldfinger
  • The Grand Budapest Hotel
  • Gravity
  • The Great Gatsby


  • Harry Potter:
    • Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
    • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
    • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
    • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
    • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
    • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
    • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
  • Heathers
  • The Help
  • Her
  • Hercules
  • High School Musical
    • High School Musical
    • High School Musical 2
    • High School Musical 3: Senior Year
  • The Hobbit:
    • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
    • The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
  • Hotel Transylvania
  • Howl’s Moving Castle
  • How to Train Your Dragon
  • Hugo
  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • The Hunger Games  ⎮  The Hunger Games: Catching Fire


  • I Heart Huckabees
  • Inception
  • The Incredible Hulk
  • The Internship
  • The Iron Giant
  • Iron Man  ⎮  Iron Man 2  ⎮  Iron Man 3


  • The Jungle Book
  • Juno


  • Kick-Ass  ⎮  Kick-Ass 2
  • The Kids Are All Right
  • Kiki’s Delivery Service
  • Kill Your Darlings
  • The Kings of Summer


  • Lady and the Tramp
  • The Lego Movie
  • Les Mis
  • The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  • Life of Pi
  • Lilo & Stitch
  • The Lion King  ⎮  The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride  ⎮  The Lion King III: Hakuna Matata
  • The Little Mermaid
  • LOL
  • Lone Survivor
  • The Lorax
  • Lord of the Rings:
    • Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
    • Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
    • Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
  • Love Actually


  • Magic Mike
  • The Matrix:
    • The Matrix
    • The Matrix Reloaded
    • The Matrix Revolutions
  • Mean Girls
  • Meet the Robinsons
  • Megamind
  • Midnight in Paris
  • Moonrise Kingdom
  • Monster’s Inc  ⎮  Monster’s University
  • The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
  • Moulin Rouge!
  • Mulan
  • My Neighbor Totoro


  • Nebraska
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • The Notebook
  • Now You See Me


  • Only Lovers Left Alive
  • Oz the Great and Powerful


  • Pacific Rim
  • Paranorman
  • Perks of Being a Wallflower
  • Peter Pan
  • The Phantom of the Opera
  • Philomena
  • The Pink Panther 
  • Pinocchio
  • Pitch Perfect
  • Pirates of the Caribbean:
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
  • Pocahontas
  • Ponyo
  • Porco Rosso
  • Practical Magic
  • Pretty In Pink
  • Pride & Prejudice (2005)
  • The Princess and The Frog
  • The Princess Bride
  • Princess Mononoke
  • Pulp Fiction



  • Ratatouille
  • Rent
  • Requiem for a Dream
  • Rise of the Guardians
  • The Road to El Dorado
  • Robin Hood: Men in Tights
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  • Romeo and Juliet (1996)
  • The Royal Tenenbaums
  • Rushmore


  • The Sandlot
  • Saving Mr. Banks
  • Say Anything
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
  • The Secret Life of Walter MItty
  • Silver Linings Playbook
  • Sixteen Candles
  • Sherlock Holmes:
    • Sherlock Holmes
    • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
  • She’s The Man
  • Shrek: The Musical
  • Sleeping Beauty (1959)
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
  • Some Kind of Wonderful
  • Spider-Man:
    • Spider-Man (2002)
    • Spider-Man 2 (2004)
    • Spider-Man 3 (2007)
  • Spirited Away
  • The Spy Who Loved Me
  • Star Wars:
    • Episode I: The Phantom Menace
    • Episode II: Attack of the Clones
    • Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
    • Episode IV: A New Hope
    • Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
    • Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
  • Star Trek (2009)  ⎮  Star Trek: Into Darkness
  • Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
  • The Sword in the Stone


  • Tangled
  • Tarzan
  • Ten Inch Hero
  • That Awkward Moment
  • Thor  ⎮  Thor: The Dark World
  • Titanic
  • Toy Story 1  ⎮  Toy Story 2  ⎮  Toy Story 3
  • Transformers:
    • Transformers
    • Revenge of the Fallen
    • Dark of the Moon
  • Treasure Planet
  • The Twilight Saga:
    • Twilight
    • New Moon
    • Eclipse
    • Breaking Dawn (Part 1)
    • Breaking Dawn (Part 2)
    • Breaking Dawn (Part 3)


  • Unrelated
  • Up


  • Vampire Academy
  • Veronica Mars
  • V for Vendetta


  • WALL∙E
  • Warm Bodies
  • Wolf of Wall Street
  • World War Z
  • Wreck-It Ralph
  • Wristcutters: A Love Story


  • X-Men:
    • X-Men
    • X2: X-Men United
    • X-Men: The Last Stand
    • X-Men Origins: Wolverine
    • X-Men: First Class
    • The Wolverine



  • Zombieland


  • 10 Things I Hate About You
  • 12 Years A Slave
  • 21 Jump Street
  • 101 Dalmations
  • (500) Days of Summer
  • 2 Guns
  • 1408
Why Scottie is crucial

I can’t be the only one, but I feel we are in the minority, viewers of London Spy who don’t think of Scottie as a bad person, and a bad friend to Danny.

I think Scottie’s story is key to what Tom Rob Smith is doing with this story about a spy and the man who loved him.  

Scottie represents the past – specifically, what it meant to be a gay man when that was still illegal.

(Spoilers ahead, don’t read if you haven’t yet watched episode 4.)

Keep reading


“I’m not a big comic book fan, but I know that I love to deconstruct heroes, deconstruct myths. I probably would want to do some kind of origin story, where you get to the core of it, before they get the powers. I don’t know about Marvel, but I know I love to tell all kinds of stories, so I don’t say no to anything; everything’s possible.” -Ava Duvernay (director of Selma) on possibly directing a Marvel movie.

I swear Marvel spying on me for ideas. One of the first things I said while watching Selma and Middle of Nowhere the other day was “Damn. Whoever made these is an awesome director. If they did Black Panther I’d be a very happy lil boy.”

I actually want her to direct BP and Capt. Marvel. She’s an incredible storyteller. Make it happen, Marvel.

You know what confuses/annoys me in Marauder fics?

When Sirius is antagonistic towards Peter.

I mean, where does it come from? Is it based on that one scene next to the lake, where Sirius asks James to stop playing with the Snitch before Wormtail ‘wets himself with excitement’? (aka the only canon pre-betrayal interaction between them). If people pick up on that, why not on James 'impatiently’ calling him 'thick’? James always seems to be defending Peter in these stories.

At the end of the war, Sirius trusts Peter implicitly. He trusts him with the most important thing in his life – James and his family. At this point, Sirius’s friendship with Remus is broken – he doesn’t trust him, suspects him of being the spy, even. But not Peter. Granted, that trust likely stemmed from the belief that Peter was too cowardly to be the spy, but you don’t trust a coward with such an important task. And that’s the thing…Sirius knew that he wasn’t brave, knew that he wasn’t a hero, but he didn’t think any less of him for it.

By what Sirius said in the Shrieking Shack in Harry’s third year, he was ready and willing to die for Peter.

Long story short: Peter was a Marauder. Sirius loved him, maybe not as much as he did James, but he trusted him and considered him a true friend. He wasn’t this annoying little inconvenience that James and Remus made him hang out with.

Kingsman: The Secret Service - Munch Another Day (Full Spoiler Warning)


Sloppy: 9.0/10 

Spud: 9.0/10

A spy organisation recruits an unrefined, but promising street kid into the agency’s ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat—oh forget it. It’s Matthew Vaughn’s ultra-violent love letter to James Bond. See it.


Spud: Where to start.

Sloppy: At the beginning, when the building’s exploding. Those effects…

Spud: With the text coming out. I was like, “Oh no, this is going to be corny.”

Sloppy: Yeah a bit of me was, “Oh well, this is kinda cheesy…” But as it went on, and the music’s kicking in, I went, “No, Matthew Vaughn knows exactly what he’s doing here.”

Spud: He’s a genius. The moment it clicked for me—see, I was a bit iffy at the beginning ‘cos I couldn’t figure out what the tone was.

Sloppy: It’s odd at the start. It’s too serious.

Spud: It was really serious. But once it cuts to Mark Hamill in the ski resort, and the super- charming Bond-type walks in, the music’s all like “dee-neeooww!!” And then he gets cut in half. Ohhh, this movie!

Sloppy: And there’s that line, “I’ve always thought today’s spy films were too serious.” You tell ‘em, Matthew Vau—nah, but Skyfall—you tell ‘em!!

Spud: By the end, it pretty much becomes a Roger Moore Bond film, with the mountain base…

Sloppy: And it still does the dumb things these movies used to do. Like when there’s ten badguys shooting at the hero, and they’re all in this tight hallway, but they’re all missing. I can see people going, “This is dumb.” But, I dunno, I think it’s intentional. It totally worked for me.

Spud: And Samuel Jackson playing this not-at-all menacing bad guy. He’s kinda laughable. It was fun.

Sloppy: I actually thought the bad guy and his plot were really clever. If that was in a Bond film today, I’d be all for it.

Spud: It was a really cool idea.

Sloppy: Even the spy school. All that stuff was really great!

Spud: The dog. I loved that dog.

Sloppy: Oh yeah. “Let’s get every girl squeeching in their seats.”

Spud: I loved how he was such an unlikely hero. He’s the last person you’d expect to be this charming, extremely likeable guy.

Sloppy: It worked well because of the stepfather story.

Spud: It had legit tense moments. Like when the mum’s hacking through the door to get to the baby. That was intense!

Sloppy: That was super intense!

Spud: That was, holy shit.

Sloppy: That’s the thing. It was a very funny satire and, at the same time, a genuinely good, tense spy movie.

Spud: Yeah! Like when they shoot Colin Firth, ‘coz I’m thinking, “Well, if you want this to be a franchise, then of course you keep Colin Firth.” Nup. Shot him in the face.

Sloppy: It’s brilliant because, if this will be a franchise, what an amazing origin movie this is. 

Spud: It was the best world. The idea of a gentleman club being a spy agency. All the gadgets..

Sloppy: Oh my god, the tech! That’s the one thing people missed in Skyfall – the lack of cool technology. This made me think, “Yeah, why aren’t they doing that in the Bond films anymore?”

Spud: Can we just talk bulletproof umbrella.

Sloppy: And it’s see-through.

Spud: And a gun. The best thing.

Sloppy: They have the knife in the shoe, the poison in the pen, but it all still works! It’s still fun! 

Spud: The final showdown with Leg Girl. Everything with her was incredible.

Sloppy: Leg Girl. It was so satisfying. We get lots of people getting chopped up by her metal legs, in slow-mo. I was completely satisfied.

Spud: It was fahkin’ great. And what about Colin Firth.

Sloppy: There’s a movie I love called A Single Man, where Firth plays a gay man. Whenever I show that movie to a friend, they all say the same thing when it’s over: “I didn’t know Colin Firth was gay.” And that’s how I felt after Kingsman. “Man, I really need to check all the other great action films Colin Firth’s been doing.”

Spud: *laughs* He’s amazing!

Sloppy: Why hasn’t this been a thing?!

Spud: It’s his first action scene ever, if you exclude his one in Bridget Jones’ Diary.

Sloppy: Hey! We ain’t excluding shit.

Spud: Beating up Hugh Grant in a fountain. Who can forget it? It’s a classic.

Sloppy: *laughs* He did 80% of his own stunts. (Editor’s Note: The boys have done their research.)

Spud: That first fight scene, in the pub – you can tell that’s all him. And it’s so fahkin’ cool. 

Sloppy: Okay, maybe I’m a bit crazy because I loved it too much, but the fight scenes… the way they were done…

Spud: Say it.

Sloppy: I haven’t quite… seen… anything like that.

Spud: Yep. Nothing I’d ever seen before. It was kinda slow-motion, but it wasn’t.

Sloppy: *claps* Thank you! I thought I was going a bit bonkers.

Spud: It’s all in real-time, but he does these quick zoom-ins.

Sloppy: It was like the movie was slowing down for half-a-second every time someone got hit. It gave it this cool comic-book feel, where the focus is on every punch.

Spud: That’s exactly it. Umm, and what about the scene everyone was disappointed in? The exploding heads?

Sloppy: WHAT?!

Spud: Every review I’ve read has mentioned that as a disappointment.

Sloppy: I put down my water, pulled my feet up on the chair, put my head in my hands, because I know I was about to see the most glorious thing. And god it was glorious.

Spud: Oh thank god. Yeah, I loved that so much. These Technicolor fireworks!

Sloppy: It wasn’t gory. It wasn’t gross or tasteless. That would’ve have been anything special. They were this miniature Technicolor nuke-bombs.

Spud: Are we going to talk about that scene? Leaving it till the end.

Sloppy: The Church scene. I can only think of Scorsese and maybe some Tarantino moments where music, editing, choreography, camerawork, everything comes together to form this perfect dream bubble straight from a director’s mind.

Spud: It’s the best carnage I’ve ever seen in my life. From the moment it starts, when Firth goes, “Oh, fuck it.” It just goes. It goes and doesn’t stop. I can’t wait to see it again. Next week. I’m seeing it next week. I’m so jealous of my past-self, because right now my past-self is watching that scene.

Sloppy: *laughs* I haven’t been that blown away by a sequence since like… well, it reminds me of the dance-opening to Guardians of the Galaxy, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt jumping all about the hotel in Inception. I almost had tears in my eyes. It’s going to be very controversial, though.

Spud: It’s just a bit of fun. I mean, if you’re going to have a massacre in a church, it may as well be THAT church.

Sloppy: It’s Inglorious Basterds. He was just teasing a fantasy.

Spud: This movie was just unbelievably entertaining. I think, when I see it again, I’ll love it even more, because I’ll know what to expect. It’s such a shame Colin Firth won’t be in the next one.

Sloppy: Hopefully someone else will pick him up for another action movie. 

Spud: Let’s make him the next Liam Neeson.

Sloppy: *gasps* Whoo-whoo.

Spud: Calling it now.

Sloppy: A Liam Neeson and Colin Firth—

Spud: Buddy-cop action movie! CCAAWWWW!!!!

Sloppy: CAAAWWW!!!

Spud: The best thing!

Sloppy: Anyone reading this, please. Crowd-fund it. I’ll pay for the whole thing.