the hell gate

Because
I want to do
something
reckless,
dangerous,
extraordinary—
something
that will push me
out of my
comfort zone,
something
that will take me
far from where
I came from—
an adventure
that was like—
I’m walking pass
through the gates
of hell
but it feels
as sweet
as heaven
making me
gasp for air—

and yes,
it was
falling in love
with you.

—  ma.c.a // Should I fight my feelings for you?

Okay, okay, okay, but I CANNOT get this AU idea out of my head:

Castiel, as a Reaper instead of an Angel.

Castiel, meeting Dean for the first time when Dean is four years old, standing in front of his burning home with the flames reflecting in the tear tracks on his face. Castiel revealing himself to Dean, gently prompting Dean to mind Sammy’s head as the infant cries and squirms, because he really doesn’t want to reap more than one soul tonight. Laying a sorrowful, sheltering hand on Dean’s head and staring down into pleading green eyes and whispering, “I’m sorry,” before walking slowly up the burning porch to reap Mary Winchester’s soul (who refuses to go with him anyways).

Castiel, as the Reaper who appears to Dean after the car accident while Dean is in a coma, shocked when Dean remembers him from that night so many years ago. Dean jokingly asking, “Are my guardian angel or something?” and Castiel sadly telling him, “No. Rather the opposite, I’m afraid,” and having to explain to Dean about the existence of Reapers. Castiel wishing to himself that he didn’t have to reap this vibrant young man, who is brave and frustrating and stubborn and obviously so full of life, and then realizing he should be careful about what he wishes for, because Dean is spared but Castiel is forced to reap Dean’s father instead, and he hates that he’s causing Dean more pain.

Castiel, meeting Dean again less than a year later. And then meeting him again. And again. And again, as Dean and Sam work the Trickster case, and Dean dies every day. They get to know each other pretty well, and it becomes something of a running joke: “We’ve got to stop meeting this way, Cas,” Dean teases, and each day Dean bemoans the ridiculous new way that he’s just been killed, and Castiel commiserates sympathetically and helpfully points out that at least Dean didn’t pee himself this time. And he hates that Dean has to die every day, but he hates himself even more because he can’t help dreading the day they catch the Trickster and it all stops, because then he won’t have an excuse to keep seeing Dean and listen to his laugh and hear about his favorite bands and watch the fond way he looks at his brother.

Castiel, appearing when Sam is stabbed by Jake, sick to death with the thought of reaping the soul from Dean’s brother. He doesn’t reveal himself to Dean in the real world this time, even though he could, because he can’t bear to have Dean turn those stricken green eyes on him, he’s a coward, a coward, a coward - but it doesn’t stop Dean, kneeling in the dirt and clutching the lifeless body of his brother tight in his arms, from screaming out, “I know you’re out there, Cas! Don’t you dare take him! I’ll never forgive you!” And he thinks it’s a cruel, cruel joke that he’s destined to continually reap the souls of the people Dean loves most, one by one, and when Castiel leads away the soul of Sam Winchester, there are tears on both their faces as they tell Dean ‘goodbye’, even though he can’t hear them.

Castiel, being summoned one year later, unsure of what’s happening, suddenly finding himself staring down at Dean’s shredded body on the floor at his feet - but Dean’s soul is still here, obstinate and unyielding, circled by snapping hellhounds but refusing to let them drag him away because “I said I’d go to Hell and I will, but I don’t need hand-fucking-delivered by these fleabags, I’ll take my own way there, goddammit! I’m allowed a Reaper! Bring Castiel the Reaper!” And Castiel raises his eyes and meets Dean’s gaze, and it’s gentle, and resigned, and frightened, and forgiving, and Castiel doesn’t deserve it, he’s never deserved anything less than the understanding in those eyes, and he’d rather be anywhere else, he’d rather be dead himself, than here to take away Dean’s soul to Hell. But he does his job and he leads Dean to the gates of Hell, except then he can’t go, he can’t leave Dean here, he can’t - until Dean kisses him, sudden and fleeting, and tells him, “It’s okay, Cas,” and pushes him away.

Castiel, blindly turning away for only the briefest span of time - the blink of an eye, the pulse of a human heartbeat - before he realizes he can’t do this. Screw the job, screw the deals, and screw the laws of nature, he will not leave Dean here…except when he turns around, Dean is already gone. 

Castiel, spending the next forty years breaking into Hell, laying waste to horde after horde of demons with the fatal touch of his ghastly true form. The memory of Dean’s kiss burns a brand against his lips, and when he finally, finally finds Dean, the touch of Castiel’s spectral hand burns its own brand on Dean’s soul as he grips him tight - the touch of death claiming a soul already dead, because Dean is his. Dean looking up at Castiel, and his soul is messy and tortured and broken, but he still manages a smile as he chokes out: “See? Told ya you were my guardian angel,” and Castiel carries Dean’s soul out of Hell and chooses life.

The Lightning Thief Musical Songs + Favorite Lines
  • Prologue/The Day I Got Expelled: YEAH THE GODS ARE REAL, AND THEY HAVE KIDS, AND THOSE KIDS HAVE ISSUES!
  • Strong: Normal is a myth, everyone has issues they're dealing with.
  • The Minotaur/The Weirdest Dream: Oh look, a strange man in a Hawaiian shirt.
  • Another Terrible Day: YOU CAN HATE IT HERE, BUT I HATED IT FIRST!
  • Their Sign: Well, I want my birthday cards and fishing trips, child support and homework tips.
  • Put You In Your Place: IT'S GONNA BE BLOODY MURDER SHE WROTE!
  • The Campfire Song: I hope he shows even a trace CAUSE I'VE GOT SOME CHOICE WORDS TO THROW IN HIS FACE!
  • The Oracle: (just the whole prophecy part tbh)
  • Good Kid: AND NO HOPE AND NO MOM... She’s taken away.
  • Killer Quest!: We're gonna march straight down to the gates of Hell! —Underworld. —Close enough.
  • Lost!: I don't wanna die in the Garden State!
  • My Grand Plan: You better wise up, 'cause I'll rise up, BRING ON ANY CHALLENGE!
  • Drive: Why, my brother and I arrived just yesterday: May 1st... 1939!
  • The Weirdest Dream Reprise: Remember what these god's have done. Remember Thalia.
  • The Tree on the Hill: Maybe if I'd been a little bit braver, maybe if I stayed behind to fight, but maybe doesn't let me go back and save her, maybe doesn't make it all right.
  • D.O.A.: You ain't ever gonna save what matters, you ain't gonna protect your friends, you ain't ever gonna be remembered.
  • Son of Poseidon: You're the two best friends this screw up ever had.
  • The Last Day of Summer: I'll do anything, I don't care if I hurt anyone, it doesn't pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son.
  • Bring on the Monsters: I'll be back next summer, I'll be back next summer.
Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
#RomanceGate - A Survival Guide

Okay, so I know a lot of people in the Reylo fandom are hurting right now. I have closed my ask box because I was only getting the same questions over and over again, and I felt it a better use of everyone’s time for me to just put together one big post covering what I reckon are people’s main questions.

1. What actually happened?

This was published in a web-only article on Vanity Fair:

FIVE THINGS THAT ARE NOT IN THE LAST JEDI

A big, central-to-the-plot romance. For all the fan-fiction fantasies of “Reylo” (an imagined union of Daisy Ridley’s Rey and Adam Driver’s Kylo Ren) or “Stormpilot” (the same, for John Boyega’s ex-stormtrooper Finn and Oscar Isaac’s pilot Poe Dameron), Johnson says that The Last Jedi offers “no one-to-one equivalent of the Han-to-Leia, burning, unrequited love. In our story, that’s not a centerpiece.”

And, on cue, all hell broke loose.

2. Oh my God! Does this mean Reylo is dead?!

It means we’re not going to see a full-on romance between Rey and Kylo Ren in The Last Jedi. It doesn’t, however, mean that we’ve been seeing things or that Rey and Kylo aren’t important to each other’s stories. We have lots of good reasons (in TFA and in external stuff like the Databank) to believe that they are. There’s still a fascinating and compelling dynamic there, and we know that The Last Jedi is going to explore that in more depth. The Vanity Fair quote just means that the dynamic won’t be blooming into a passionate love affair in Rian’s movie.

3. So there’s no romance whatsoever in The Last Jedi?

We don’t know. Rian’s quote simply says that there’s no analogue to Han and Leia’s central love affair, but that doesn’t mean there’s no romance at all. It’s perfectly possible that they will subtlety allude to attraction and tension between Rey and Kylo without that developing into a full-on romance. But again, don’t take that as a promise - it’s a possibility, not an inevitability. 

4. So, does that mean we should pin all our hopes on Episode IX?

I don’t think we should pin our hopes on anything. The best way to enjoy these films is going to be to try and go in with as few expectations as possible, and take them on their own terms. There is, of course, a chance of Reylo becoming romantic in Episode IX, but I would advise against counting on that or believing it’s inevitable. We can’t think that far ahead without seeing The Last Jedi first.

5. What happens to the Reylo fandom?

It should 100% continue. Period. I want to see it flourish and thrive. I want to see people write their stories and create their fanart. I want people to discuss the characters at considerable length and be excited about seeing them again in The Last Jedi. And I really don’t think this news should affect how we engage with fandom at all. I do think it should make us moderate our expectations for what we’ll see in the films, but we absolutely should not let it kill our enjoyment of the characters and their dynamic. 

6. How do you feel about this?

Personally, I’m mostly annoyed because of the response that this news will inspire - it will unleash an onslaught of antis in the Reylo tag, gloating on fanboy enclaves, and outpourings of despair from shippers. All of these reactions are inevitable, and in the case of shippers’ feelings I totally understand the sadness and disappointment. I empathise, because I feel those things too. I’m the first person to admit that I let my imagination run away with me and set my hopes/expectations too high when it comes to Reylo, so the Vanity Fair quote came as something of a reality check for me. I’m a little sad, but I have absolutely no intention of quitting Star Wars or quitting Reylo fandom. I love Star Wars, and the Reylo fandom has been a cornerstone of my experience of it. I love what we create as a community, and my main concern right now is that we remain resilient and continue doing what we do best. Block antis and haters without prejudice. Try to be realistic, but still be enthusiastic and excited about seeing your faves on screen again come December. Most of all, remember that fandom should be fun - focus on the things that you enjoy about Star Wars and Reylo, keep on creating, and remain strong as a community. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m still just as excited for The Last Jedi as I ever was. Bring it on.

nazi: where is the bathroom 

me: right over there *pointing to gates of hell* 

nazi: thank you 

liberal, lurking in shadows: wow. so you just lied to him. that’s not the bathroom. 

Things People Seem To Forget About The Nordics
  • Denmark: Lost the major 300-so years of war, is the happiest country in the world, friends with Germany and Netherlands
  • Sweden: One of the Nicest country in the world, lets Nazi Germany past through him to invade Norway in order to keep his neutrality
  • Norway: aLEXANDER RYBAK wAS HALF BELARUSSIAN, Oil, rich, left Iceland to suffer economically even though he got shit ton of oil and money
  • Iceland: Most dangerous Nordic nation according to Geography, can erupt at any moment, the Icelandic found a way to control how lava flows (tHEY ARE LAVA BENDERS), has a penis museum, has the gates to hell, eats rotten poisonous sharks that have been buried for weeks, eATS PUFFINS
  • Finland: Most dangerous Nordic nation according to the people, is not afraid of Russia and Sweden, smartest nation with a high education ratings
  • Chekov: So . . . when you swing your sword, do you make light saber noises?
  • Sulu: Absolutely not. This is a weapon of honor, not a toy.
  • Chekov: You sure?
  • Sulu: Absolutely. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I must train. *proceeds to walk off and make very loud light saber noises*