the hefty hideaway


This is my wife. She hates shopping so I order clothes and shoes for her from time to time. As a former Lane Bryant indentured servant I’ve learned a few things. Here’s some of my work this week. I think I did alright, but my model is the real star. Most beautiful girl in the world to me. My dream is one day I’m going to open Chad’s hefty hideaway for men and women . Just like Mr. Pinky says he’s offering fashion for fat women who “still want the glamour” Chad’s HH will do the same plus free cupcakes. Fat bottom girls and boys make the rocking world go round.

The shoes for the yellow dress are my favorite. Bumble bee Mary Janes.

I mean I should keep it on the DL… but why do you think all the fat babes are moving to Pittsburgh? We put fries on our salads and cover deep fried cheese in more cheese and ranch dressing. Just accept it everyone… the fat babes are going to combine into a Bitchzilla blob of sex appeal and ridiculousness. We will eat yinz alive. Or you can become one of us. One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us…

I’m glad Target worked with bloggers to create a new plus size line because it means there will be basically affordable basically accessible cute clothes for ***cuties size 14-26 (it should go higher!). But it also sorta cracks me up, like:

“When we put out pieces that stand out a little more, items that are more chic, more trend-driven and more statement in nature, they tended to perform.”

Translation, “when we sold things that don’t suck instead of our usual gray and black potato sacks, people tended to buy them.” Like OMG, friends, this is not rocket science???? Make attractive clothes, on par in quality, style and price with your other clothes, and people will give you money for them. Ta da!

I had to show SOME of my new Allihalla leopard print garter shorts ( a: ! Aren’t they the cutest. I felt the need to wear my Knack shirt tonight for my friend, Rachel’s, dance night tonight. “GOOD GIRLS DON’T… BUT I DO.”