the heaven tree

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
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Jacob’s Ladder.

Jacob’s Ladder is the colloquial name for a bridge between the Earth and Heaven that the biblical Patriarch Jacob dreams about during his flight from his brother Esau, as described in the Book of Genesis. The story of Jacob’s Ladder is actually an ancient allegorical biblical tale describing the Alchemical process of reaching complete Gnosis or what some may call, Sainthood or Enlightenment. A Symbolic Ladder that we all must climb if we wish to reach the Spiritual Heights of the Divine in the Heavens while we are encased in Physical Matter here on Earth. As we climb, we must purify ourselves, our thoughts, habits and actions so that we may reach that seventh and final step of our ascent in order to activate all of our seven senses and DNA.