As a fat person who is rarely ever complimented for my physical looks (aside from acceptable compliments for fat people), it drives me absolutely fucking bonkers when conventionally attractive people fish for compliments from me.
They’ve got a whole society that worships their body type and tells them that they’re inherently amazing, just for being born with a good metabolism and no hormonal (or other specific health) issues. But they’re gonna come to me and tell me how they don’t look good, or they feel ugly, or no one loves them, and I’m supposed to make them feel better.
I just want to tell them to open a fucking magazine, or turn on the tv. You’ll get to see virtually every person there looking similar to you. I didn’t see a positive role model (ie. not the butt of fat jokes) that was beautiful and funny and successful and that never had their body questioned and who looked like me till I saw Melissa McCarthy in The Heat (came out in 2013, fyi). I’ve never seen clothing models built like me till last week when I found the GRRRL clothing line (plus size models for most fashion companies are acceptable fat, ie. big boobs and ass, barely a stomach, thick but not too thick legs). As a kid, I never dreamed of being a princess because the only people who looked like me in Disney films were evil, or side characters who took care of the princess.
If conventionally attractive people are looking for a partner, they don’t have to worry about being fetishized, they can be loved for themselves, and their partner won’t be questioned as to HOW or WHY they can love them. Their relationship will not have to be justified or explained, they will not face questions of “so… Like, [the fat partner] is never on top, right?” or “doesn’t it kinda ruin the sex when you can’t just move [the fat partner] around?”. They won’t be the running joke among their friends. If both partners are fat, they get even more wonderful bullshit to deal with. When dating, conventionally attractive people won’t be accused of lying or misrepresenting themselves if they don’t post a full body picture and show up to a date fatter than what the date anticipated. Their bodies do not need to come with disclaimers.
I can count the number of times my former partners told me I’m beautiful without a “but” following it (3. With a “but” following it; 5). I remember almost every compliment given to me by friends that was explicitly about my physical appearence and that didn’t skirt around me being fat (there’s acceptable ways to compliment a fat person. Ie. You have a nice face/personality, that clothing is slimming on you, you look healthy, etc. I’m tempted to include cute, but I’m on the fence about that one)
I’m tired of being the bastion of self love, confidence, and body positivity for people whose only barrier in the way of their own self love and confidence is themselves. I didn’t have anyone to push me to this point where I can love myself and others completely, regardless of size. The only reason I am the way I am is because I’ve made myself this way, facing a society that’s continuously told me it’s wrong to be happy and love myself as I am.
Mel’s Favourite Movies→ The Heat (2013) Ashburn: “I really feel the need to finish reading your files because this is just…” Mullins: “I really feel the need for you to stay out of my business so I don’t punch you in the teeth.”
HEy (: Can you maybe recommend me some romantic/comedy movies? I'm in desperate need of new good ones! xx
Oh my god, I don’t even—I don’t know where to start, I’m such a slut for rom coms, it’s ridiculous. I haven’t watched any new ones lately, but I’ll just list some of my favorites and hopefully you’ll see one you haven’t watched before!
Since so many of you sent in recommendations I thought I could make a list in case you’re in the mood for some movies with women leads. The ones in bold have WoC leads, and the ones in italics feature lesbians in the main storyline. Feel free to add on to this, with the same format!
1. The Heat (2013) 2. Blue Is The Warmest Colour (2013) 3. The Color Purple (1985) 4. Bridesmaids (2011) 5. Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) 6. Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken (1991) 7. Jane Eyre (2011) 8. Whip It (2009) 9. Belle (2013) 10. Elena Undone (2010) 11. Mosquita y Mari (2012) 12. Life Partners (2014) 13. Wadjda (2012) 14. Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (2005) 15. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) 16. Hanna (2011) 17. Black Swan (2011) 18. Teeth (2007) 19. Persepolis (2007) 20. Dogville (2003) 21. The Help (2011) 22. The Joy Luck Club (1993) 23. Respire (2014) 24. Maleficent (2014) 25. Frida (2002) 26. Matilda (1996) 27. Stick It (2006) 28. I Can’t Think Straight (2008)