the heart break will continue

I’m tired.” she said. “I’m tired of pretending to feel empty about everything. I’m tired of laughing at people when they assumed that I don’t feel anything at all. Because of course, I feel something. I almost feel everything that it suffocates my whole being. I feel it when someone slowly losing interest in me as if they were clouds—fading in the sky during warm summer days. As if they were colors melting their brightest shades. I feel my heart breaking when someone continuously pointing out my mistakes that it erased all the right things I’ve ever done in my whole life. As if everything went blank, and I need to start doing something again that will make them proud. I feel people’s words touching what’s deep within me. Especially when they were the people who were important to me. Especially when they were the people who I always expected to understand the real me.” she looked down at her hands catching her breath heavily. She wasn’t used on opening up her heart to someone. She wasn’t used on telling everything that’s on her mind. Yet she knew, this was the best thing she needed to do. That this can ease the burdens she’s been lifting up for too long. She sighed slowly, then she said, “I just want you to know, that even if people tried to pretend that there’s a black hole inside of them, they will always end up touching their chests and feel their heart beating.
—  ma.c.a // Can you really see me?

I don’t know how to fix it

When You Fail To Be

I blame you entirely @kaxpha I take no responsibility.

…. Y u hurt me dude.

Anyways. Here it is, chapter 1. Lance and Shiro angst + broganes angst + KLANCE angst + ….Just angst all around, yo.

Um…So yeah, hope you like??? It’s also on Ao3 on my same name. It’s the second part of the Human Healing Pod Au.

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me. Human Healing Pod Au doesn’t belong to me.


Shiro frowns exasperated as he catches Lance’s blue glowing light from the corner of his eye.

It’s been a few weeks since their last group training took place with Lance’s new healing powers. The brunet insisted that he had the hang of it, being able to work through the process on small injuries without getting dizzy after it.

Lance had reassure Shiro that he will continue training on his own but Shiro had just pursed his lips, not convinced in the least. After a few minutes arguing, Shiro finally agreed to Lance’s plan but only if the brunet had someone with him during his training sessions, something that Lance had grudgingly agreed to along with a few more conditions.

One week later and Lance was already breaking one of their conditions.

“That boy, I swear.” Shiro mumbles, making his way towards Lance as the brunet places his hands over the alien refugee they just saved in today’s mission, his blue eyes falling into a vivid glow entirely in less than a tick, “Hey, I said no more healing today, Lance. You –“

It was just a light pull. Shiro placed his Galra arm over the brunet’s shoulder and pull just enough break apart the contact between him and the alien’s wound and suddenly there was screaming.

Agonized and pained screaming echoes around them and Shiro just stares in horror as Lance shakes and continues to scream in his arms, his glowing eyes getting brighter before losing their light and then being bright once again.

“Lance!” Shiro shouts startled, “Lance, buddy, what’s wrong¡?” He yells in panic, making sure to hold the teen tight against him as he continues to scream and then –

Then Lance sighs, eyes rolling to the back of his head, losing their blue glow, and he goes limp on Shiro’s arms, mouth hanging open in a silent scream and Shiro’s heart skips a beat at the sight.

“L-Lance?” He whispers softly, voice cracking, “Buddy?”

“LANCE!” Keith’s voice echoes in panic and urgency, “Lance¡? Shiro, what happened¡? LANCE!”

“H-He’s not breathing.” Shiro gasps, a cold shiver running through his spine, “H-he’s not –“

Lance’s suddenly taken away from him by a pair of red armored hands. Shiro blinks in panic and confusion for a moment before he raises his head and stares at Keith as the black haired teen cradles Lance’s body against his.

“Lance, baby, hey, come on, come on, this is not funny, Lance, please.” Keith mumbles, his free hand gently patting Lance’s cheek in hopes of getting a reaction, “L-Lance, baby, please, please, no. Hey! Come on, you promised! Lance!”

Everything’s a blur for Shiro after that. Keith’s screams and pleads echo inside him, mixing themselves with Lance’s screams along with Hunk’s sobs and the image of Pidge’s scared face. Barely noticing when Coran makes his way towards them and takes Lance from Keith’s arms, followed by the blurry image of Hunk holding Keith back as he trashes and screams wildly when Lance is taken away from him.

He doesn’t even notice Allura’s presence until she whispers his name against his ear and he snaps out of it. He blinks hard and takes the surroundings around him. He’s in Allura’s room, lying down on her bed, facing the ceiling in disorientation and confusion.

“Wha –“ Shiro mumbles softly, “What.”

“Hey, it’s alright. Take it easy.” Allura whispers gently, stroking his hair, “It’s alright.”

“What happened?” Shiro asks in a daze, eyes groggy and tired before they snap wide open as he remembers Lance’s limp weight on his arms, “Lance. What happened to Lance? Allura?”

“You killed him, that’s what happened.” Shiro freezes at the cold harsh voice that answers him and slowly turns his head to the side to meet his little brother’s glare.

“Keith!” Allura snaps, sighing in exasperation as if it wasn’t the first time she has scolded the teen.

“What? It’s true, isn’t it?” Keith snaps back, frowning and glaring angrily.

Allura stays quiet and Shiro’s blood turns cold.

“Allura?” He asks in a small voice and Allura shakes her head.

“He died for a few ticks but we were able to get him back.” Allura answers, her shoulders tense and her voice tired, “But it wasn’t anyone’s fau –“

“No. It was Shiro’s. It was Shiro who made Lance push himself in every training session knowing the danger. It was Shiro who made Lance feel like he needed to push and push and push himself more every time. It’s because of Shiro that Lance has dark bags and swollen red eyes and is tired all the time. It was Shiro –It was Shiro who broke the connection and caused Lance’s heart to stop.”

One, two, three beats and then –

“What?” Shiro breaths out, slowly sitting up on the bed and waving away Allura’s complaints, “What? What does that – What?

“Keith.” Allura says calmly but with an edge of warning in her tone, “Stand down.”

“Whatever.” Keith mumbles, scoffing and sending Shiro a dark glare before turning around and walking towards the exit, leaving behind a frozen Shiro.

“What.” Shiro whispers, “What?”

“Shiro –“

“Keith, no, wait!” Shiro ignores Allura’s words as he climbs down the bed and follows his brother with wobbly but fast steps, “Keith Kogane Shirogane, come back her –!”

Keith turns around sharply and Shiro takes a surprised step back at the furious snarl on his kid brother’s face.

“Don’t call me that.” Keith whispers with menace, “I want nothing to do with you, you hear me? Nothing.”

“Keith –“ Shiro stops as Keith suddenly crashes against him, barely dodging the fist that was aimed for his face, “Keith!” He repeats, grabbing Keith by the arms and keeping him still.

“You damn son of a –! It was your fault! You and your stupid rules! You and – and – God, I hate you, Ifucking hate you!” Keith screams, fist hitting the young adult on the chest, “You fucking – I fucking hate –“

“Buddy –“

“You didn’t protect him!” Keith screams, still trashing and kicking against Shiro’s hold on his arms, “You didn’t protect him! You promised and you didn’t –! You just let him die in your arms! You just stood there as he died and –! Fuck!”

“Keith, please –“ Shiro rasps out brokenly but Keith shakes his head, taking a step back from his older brother, shrugging his hold.

“No. No. He died, Shiro. My – Lance died and I – I couldn’t – And –“ A sudden abrupt sob escapes his mouth and suddenly Keith falls to the ground, sobs shaking his entire body, “I –I –I didn’t know what – And you were – You looked so hopeless as you held him and I couldn’t – I fucking lost it –“

“Keith.” Shiro mumbles, his heart breaking for his little brother but the teen just continues to sob on the ground in the middle of the hallway.

“I-I’m sorry, fuck – I’m sorry, Shiro – I know it wasn’t – wasn’t your fault but –“ Keith presses the palm of his hands hard against his eyes in hopes to stop the flowing tears, “It was mine. It was my fault – And I slash out at you and I’m – He was dead, god , he wasDEAD, SHIRO!”

Shiro doesn’t hesitates and then he’s on the floor, wrapping his arms around his little brother as the teen shakes with sobs, still mumbling incoherently against his brother’s chest and Shiro takes no mind as snot and tears mix themselves on his shirt.

He just holds his brother, tight and strong, and sucks in a deep breath to stop his own tears from falling.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs under his breath against Keith’s wild hair, “I’m so sorry, little brother.”

Allura just stands quietly on the corner, watching with sad eyes as the brothers sit on the floor, holding each other. She turns then, giving them their privacy before she enters the first room down the opposite hall.

Her footsteps are soft as she walks towards the bed on the corner of the room. The room is dark and quiet, for the exception of the hard panting breathing coming from the bed.

Allura takes a seat on the start of the bed, near Lance’s face, and watches sadly as the brunet rasps out harsh breaths through his mouth, unable to fill his lungs properly.

“Hush, now, it’s okay, Lance. It’s okay.” She mumbles gently, brushing Lance’s wet hair back as the the brunet whimpers inconsolably, “Sh, asteráki. You’re alright.”

She stays there for a while, humming under her voice to calm the brunet down and whispering comfort words as he whimpers and whines unconsciously.

Allura losses track of the time but suddenly, the door opens once again and she meets Shiro’s wide scared eyes at the edge of the door.

“Shiro.” She calls softly and frowns when the leader of Voltron doesn’t knowledge her calling, his gray eyes solemnly placed on the shivering brunet on the bed, “Shiro, love.”

One, two, three steps back out of shock and then Shiro’s running out of the room. 


or: how each member of the original gryffindor quidditch team fell in love.

Alicia falls headfirst over lunch on a Friday, when she spills her water and all Katie does is laugh and throw napkins over to her side of the table. She falls in love in between letters hastily jotted down between breaks and late nights in her dinky flat near St. Mungos, late nights spent wondering whether to voice how butterflies get caught in her throat every time Katie laughs. How her best friend has blossomed into something fierce, something untouchably bright.

Katie breaks the silence first, one night - says, in a hushed voice, too quiet to be anything but careful, that she thinks she might be in love and Alicia’s heart plummets but Katie’s voice breaks and continues with “I think I’m in love with you” and the rest, as they say, is history.

Katie’s felt it - felt it - the moment Alicia yelled at Malfoy all those years ago on the quidditch pitch. It just took her a couple years to realize.

George forgets about love after the war, too focused on making sure the joke shop does its duty, bringing the slightest sliver of relief to parents and children again. It’s not until years later, when Angelina resurfaces on his radar past the monthly exchanged word here and there, when she comes back from training camp abroad, that love gives him a nudge, a gesture, as if to indicate “There. There I am.”

Angelina loves many people, as bold, beautiful, young women are free to do, and she loves strong and falls hard and falls fast. She’d thought it was her greatest detriment, once upon a time, but there was something almost silly about George at her doorstep, stubbing his foot on the welcome mat, shy in a way she’d never seen before. She told herself this time - this time would be the most dangerous, but three months later, she realizes there’s nothing terrifying about being held by familiar arms.

The twins are the twins, but they aren’t the same. So Fred’s always had love at the tip of his fingers, because Lee’s been at his side since they were fresh-eyed and curious, on the wrong side of too eager. It’s always been there, a quiet undercurrent, the only thing delicate and untouched between them. One day, one of them takes the leap and asks, prods at the tension in the room. When it unravels, their grins bloom tenfold, like fireworks. It lasts for a lifetime.

Oliver says he fell in love fighting on the quidditch pitch (because where else) with an equally passionate quidditch player (because who else) - and that’s how it worked, except there’s always more to a story than that. He brings Marcus home one evening, and his mother smiles and says she had expected nothing else. In reality, Oliver fell in love between dawn and morning practice, yearning hitting him hard in the gut. He’d crawled back into a surprised Marcus’ bed, disregarding his routine morning run in favor of curling into an easy embrace.

Harry finds love lurking somewhere after war reparations and before peace, an odd tentative balance in chaos. He wasn’t looking for it, just as he very rarely asks for anything at all, but it sauntered up, arrogant and brash, unable for him to look away from. Love did that - not Draco, because Draco had his own reparations to make and his own makings of peace and he’d discarded the arrogance for that. Love was a mess and a half, except then it wasn’t, and it made sense, in an odd, funny, sort of way - how inexplicably tied in each other’s narrative the other had been at the end of all things. It made sense in the way that Harry and Draco didn’t, not to anyone looking in. But Harry knows better. He knows what love is, he knows when he has it, and he knows when it’s returned, with a genuine gaze and a steady hand.


Pixie dust

Otabek and Yuri are both university students and have known each other since the beginning of their ballet lessons as children. 37 rejected confessions and counting, Yuri thinks Otabek ought to try dating already than continuously breaking every women’s heart. Although things would rather come unexpected.


Part 1 / pixie dust

“love" by jack zimmermann || a zimbits fic || 3.3k

“Come in.” Bitty thanks the lord for the legitimate reprieve from the essay he’s been painfully forcing himself through all afternoon.

Jack enters, looking happier than normal. Bitty sees why immediately, and the smile that came onto his face when he saw Jack slips right back into a frown. Jack’s holding another memory card.

“I’m got some new footage,” Jack says in confirmation of Bitty’s fears.

“Jack, you’ve got to stop giving me new material.”

Jack’s smile drops at Bitty’s harsh tone, and his eyebrows draw together in a way that would be adorable if not for the circumstance and the fact Bitty is the one to make them that way. “Why?”

“Coz, honey, it’s not gonna help.” Bitty’s too exhausted to bother being embarrassed that the endearment slipped out.

Jack opens his mouth lamely. He looks down at the memory card in his hand then back to Bitty with sad eyes.

“Sit down.” Bitty gestures to his bed, thankful that he made it earlier while procrastinating. He rubs his sore eyes as Jack perches on the bed, then sighs out.

“Your assessment is to create a two-minute video based on love, yes?”

Jack nods. Bitty rubs at his eyes again, thinking of how to be honest without being hurtful.

“You’re an amazing photographer, and it comes across.” Jack picks his head up, looking hopefully at Bitty. It breaks his heart to have to continue. “But there’s no story here. There’s no love. I mean, unless your story is that you really love your camera. I can’t… I’m sorry, I can’t help you make anything out of this.”

Bitty tries to make his voice gentle. Jack turns his head away from Bitty anyway, but not quick enough that Bitty can’t see the hurt.

Bitty’s happily been helping Jack with his AV assessment after Jack asked. He gets to spend time with Jack doing something that Jack loves. But now he owes it as a friend to tell Jack the truth, even if it makes them both sad.

“Sorry, Bits,” Jack mumbles, still not looking at him.

“It’s alright.” Bitty already feels a little guilty for springing it on Jack with no warning. He crosses his arms, then realises that may come across as defensive if Jack ever looks back at him, so rests them back on his knees. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, I just want you to do well.”

Jack gives a brisk nod, but still avoids looking back at Bitty.

Bitty’s not sure what else he can do for Jack, so he simply waits.

Jack clears his throat after a moment and stands up. He looks at the memory card before putting it into a pocket.

“Thanks anyway. Sorry for interrupting your essay.”

“It’s alright,” Bitty repeats, but Jack’s already out the door.

Bitty slumps into his seat and stares at his closed door. He really didn’t mean to hurt Jack, but he didn’t think what he said would be that much of a shock either. Jack’s not ignorant to emotion, no-matter what the news articles sometimes say about him.

He swings his chair back round to stare at his essay, starting up on it again as a distraction.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

people think its about harry cuz the lyric i "burton to his taylor"

i have several anons on this topic i will address the subject of who i think it is about below

1. Burton to his Taylor - a reputation reference

  • A purposeful specific reference
  • Burton met Taylor on the set of Cleopatra
  • Joe is an actor like burton 
  • Liz Taylor was playing the role of Cleopatra when they met. The Queen (of Egypt). Taylor was playing the role of a snake cult queen or whatever people were saying she was last summer
  • Cleopatra was known as the Queen of Kings, her enemies feared that she was plotting a huge revenge against all her enemies to establish herself as the empress of Rome. This is a funny irony when cast to Taylor’s reputation in 2016 and callback to her reputation as wanting to get revenge on her enemies and stay “Queen” of her kingdom
  • Joe met Taylor when everyone was calling her a snake
  • Cleopatra is the queen who killed herself with a snake bite fyi.
  • Liz Taylor and Burton are generally considered to be one of the greatest love stories of all time
  • Liz had a reputation for dating a lot of men

2. Some boys are trying too hard / he didnt try at all though

  • this does not fit pre-harry whatsoever. it could fit pre-Joe even if people don’t want it to. she’s saying Joe wasnt trying to win her over or persuade her to date him that it just happened

3. Knew i was a robber / Stealing hearts and never saying sorry - a reputation reference

  • big comment on her reputation via a metaphor
  • obviously this is satire since she’s not a bad person, a robber
  • this fits perfectly with the reputation taylor had in 2016 something people have accused her of with both Tom and CH; that she stole their hearts, left them and didnt apologize for it. Or in general her perception as a serial dater.  This was absolutely a perception of Taylor last fall and she is saying Joe knew she was a ‘robber’. This relates 0% with her reputation around or before Harry. Jake left her and left her brokenhearted, Conor was just none of that.

4.  But if i’m a thief then / he can join the heist then / we’ll move to an island / and he can be my jailer - a reputation reference, another metaphor

  • piggybacking on the above, she’s going look if i’m a robber then i can be that person, i can work with this. So she’s like mocking her supposed reputation
  • if i’m a heartbreaker than if you take me some where and ‘guard me’ then i cant break any more hearts (rob anyone else, continue to be a thief)

4. Younger than my exes (not “youngest” btw)

  • Joe is younger than her exes (plural) particularly the last two which is common to refer
  • Joe is not an ex

5. I-Island breeze and lights down low / No one has to know

  • Harry was not a secret. Tom was not a secret. CH was not a secret. Joe, otoh? he was
  • the reference of i-i-i to i know places (we can hide) - again, she hid with Joe and no one else
  • where did they hide? an island. Called England

6. Are you ready for it / baby let the games begin- reputation

  • Are you ready to deal with everything that comes with dating Taylor including her reputation of being a robber, a heartbreaker
  • are you ready for the games to begin - is this the hiding, the evading paps, the crazy stories about her, the stories that’ll get made up about the relationship…  goes back to her reputation
  • let the games begin – this is the kick off to the album (track one) also this song is the first time she has talked about joe, now everyone is gonna run with their stories and theories (you know, posts like this). Conversely, it is not the kick off to anything related to any other man again why this is relating to him 

7. If he’s a ghost then i can be a phantom

  • No one saw either of them, Taylor or Joe. They were literally ghosts, invisible, for months on end. 
  • if he’s a ghost (unknown), then i can be a phantom - she can make herself unknown and unseen too by using her wigs and stuff lmao 
  • when harry refers to two ghosts he refers to two people who seemed invisible to each other in their present form because they no longer knew each other. A Completely Different ghost reference

8. I keep him forever

  • obviously harry and her are over we established this a lonnnng time ago so this can’t apply

9. in the middle of the night / in my dreams / you should see the things we do baby, mmm/   in the middle of the night / in my dreams / i know i’m gonna be with you/ so i take my time - not a reputation reference

  • she sees herself with this man in her future (she just met him but she knows she’s gonna be with him (in bed, she is already dreaming about it lol)) so she’s not going to rush it (i’m gonna take my time) and take things slow. And this is when the music slows down too like its a sharp contrast to the robber verses like it gets all dreamy sounding
  • seeing a future with you and taking it slow, that screams Joe and no one else tbqh dont even try harry with this lyric

10. Marie Claire pointed out that the ‘knew he was a killer / first time that i saw him’ could relate to Joe playing the role of a soldier in Billy Lynn - here i just thought it was his killer good looks

all these reputation references as marked above really play into where taylor was last summer or fall, and no other real point in her life. Hence, Joe. 


Steve Rogers x Reader Fic

A/N: Once again I have been trolling Spotify instead of focusing on what I should be, and this is what comes of it. 

Summary: A dance party of Tony’s takes a turn when a joke is played which you don’t find funny, causing you to reveal a long kept secret.

Word Count: 3482  |  Warnings: Foul language, small angst, mostly fluff

Songs : Can’t Feel My Face by The Weekend, Sledgehammer by Fifth Harmony, There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes

Your heart pounded in your chest, racing in time to the music. The bass thudding, beat heavy, sultry lyrics floating through the air. Sweat glistened on your skin as you danced with Wanda and Natasha.

Tony always threw the best parties. 

Food, drinks, and music abounded. You got to dress to the nines, fabulous clothes and shoes which made your legs look divine. There was nothing like it, in your estimation.  

The only thing which would make your night better would be if the tall blond soldier standing by the bar would come dance with you, but Steve was being the stoic, brooding Captain you knew and loved.  

Not that he knew you loved him. Everyone else did, but not Steve. The man was oblivious.  

Keep reading


Pixie dust

Otabek and Yuri are both university students and have known each other since the beginning of their ballet lessons as children. 37 rejected confessions and counting, Yuri thinks Otabek ought to try dating already than continuously breaking every women’s heart. Although things would rather come unexpected.


Part 2 / pixie dust

Note: Sorry it took me so long to update (work happened) I hope people would still read this~。゚(゚´ω`゚)゚。

That reblog about cultural homophobia in South Asian countries imposed by colonizers really got me going coz I’ve been reading about the history of queer and trans people in my country before the British Empire fucked it up and I remember this part from the Devdutt Pattanaik book where he talks about how when the British came here they were horrified by the fact that transgender people were treated with respect and honour and were in the highest echelons of the king’s durbars and homosexuality was pretty much treated as a part of the circle of life with so many stories of both Muslim and Hindu poets writing about their love affairs with men and so much lesbian poetry was lost to time and destroyed after the East India company started taking over that we were treated as the “savages” and the concerted effort to “simplify” the complexity and variety of Hinduism and its stories to their benefit and impose their cultural homophobia through law ( Sec 377) and their narrow minded shitty philosophy which resonates in the current mindset of many Indians  today transgender is a “third gender”, homosexuality is a mental illness . I don’t kid when I say that we are a Victorian society with wifi 

tenerife sea - peter parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: Being in love is never easy. Especially when there are two different hearts belonging to different endings.

In creation with the song ‘Tenerife Sea’ by Ed Sheeran.

Requested: no

Warnings: slight language, SAD FLUFF IM SORRY

Words: 2432

a/n: this is sad but it’s really sweet so i hope u like:) love u all <333 and you can listen to the song here :) (gif creds to owner, not mine)



You look so wonderful in your dress. I love your hair like that. The way it falls on the side of your neck, down your shoulders and back.

The delicate, lively way her hair glided softly down her smooth skin, all the way to her shoulders dazed him over. A dramatic heartbeat thumped in his heavy chest as the eyes that adorned her tall figure drifted all the way down to the hem of her vibrant red dress, his modesty masking over. He felt the usual tingling sensation he sensed once his eyes came in contact with her seemingly exquisite figure. The figure he yearned to gaze at from afar all day was so gleaming and beautiful as she danced her way smoothly across the shiny, polished gym floor. Her bright brown eyes underneath the limelight of the party decorations, and the numerous flashes emitting from people’s phones.

Nothing, nothing ever compared to the feeling he felt rush throughout his veins as he gazed at her sweet features. His heart skipped numerous times as he felt as if she would quickly glance over in his direction, her plump pink lips would separate into a pearly-white smile as a magnificent dark brown hit a nervous yet sparkling brown. Two hearts beating a vast amount of emotion as the smiles spread across both of the teens faces. One heart thumped with kind and gentleness towards the other, a smile evident in the entire demeanor. But, the other heart beat with such a grave amount of adoration and emotion, it was too much to bear as the other didn’t yearn enough for it.

Liz’s heart didn’t beat enough for Peter’s.

Peter just didn’t know it.

We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much. You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us.

“I’ll see you later, Y/N/N. Love you,” was the last thing that slipped past Peter’s lips before leaving your room. You nodded knowingly at him as he quickly leaned over and pecked you on the cheek. His familiar lips against your soft skin was something that always came as such a quick flood of emotion your face heated with color.

As you wistfully eyed his figure shut your door, every affection that had been grasping on for dear life inside you was allowed to exit, along with a deep sigh. You attempted to keep your immense feelings for your friend in tact every time you were with Peter.

It was just, nothing felt as if it made sense without Peter. Your eyes were never casted another’s way as long as adoring thoughts of him were swarming around your mind. Your friendship acted as an anchor in your life, holding your feelings up above yourself whenever doubtful situations would occur.

Peter made everything feel better. That charming, chapped smile that would spread across his whole face as you two chuckled together at a stupid, cheesy joke you had made. His lightly curled, brown hair was so soft and made you drool at some points as he ran his muscular hands through it feverishly. 

Those utterly beautiful, captivating and glorious brown eyes would peek from underneath his light eyelashes as he watched you intently work on something. Your body would light with such an admiration and fiery sensation as those orbs hit contact with your Y/E/C ones. Whenever those eyes would slightly peer in your direction, pairing with that generous smile would cause your stomach to churn with cages of butterflies, and your mind to cloud with loving thoughts of him, feeling as if no one knew anything but the two of you.

But none of that would never compare to that pure, blissful soul that was enveloped inside of him. No gorgeous, outer appearance could ever lavishly beat his stunning personality, his loving demeanor, and bright, graceful voice that caused every bone in your body to shiver with love.

But that was the problem.

The exceedingly emotion you yearned for Peter to reciprocate was something of just a facade that would swim around your endless thoughts day and night. Those immense feelings were almost a part of your dreams, something you never knew to be true.

No matter how long you ached for Peter to someway, somehow, love you as much as the way you loved him, the chances of your hopeful thinking becoming a reality were slight. Nothing would ever compare to that grave feeling you would feel ignite throughout your veins as he muttered those three little words to you in adoration.

The fact was, he desired to say those words to another.

Should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it’s enough for me. ‘Cause all that you are is all that I’ll ever need.

“Thank you so much, Peter! I really owe you one!” Liz shouted to Peter happily, a bright smile adorned her plump lips as she leaped over and grasped him in a tight hug.

Peter’s heart once again, acted upon that familiar leap as her touch against his felt like absolute fire on his skin. Something as small as his gesture of offering to put the banner up resulted in something so enticing he thought his emotions would leap out right here.

Liz squeezed his sweater-adorned body once more before releasing herself from around his slightly smaller frame. Her eyes smiled as she waved bye to him before gliding slyly back down the long hallway. As her tall and lean body carried itself away from his, he soon felt his entire heart yank itself from his body and make it’s way along with her.

God, she’s so perfect.

He felt taken, yet lightheaded, in a good way. His mind was completely dusted with thoughts of nothing but Liz as he stood vacant in the middle of the hallway. His body recalled the emotion it sense with her sweet touch against his.

Peter knew he was completely and utterly ahead of himself. In the back of his mind, his thoughts played rapidly with ideas that appeared themselves in random increments. The ideas consisted if question and answers between himself.

“Would she ever see me in the way I see her?”

“God no, Peter. You’re a lonely sophomore with basically two friends. She’s a popular, beautiful senior. You’re vapor compared to her.”

“Will anyone, ever see me in the same way I see her?”

“That’s a great question, but no. The only other person who knows you for you besides Ned is Y/N. She truly knows yourself and sees you in the true being you are. But, she’s your friend, and she supports your love for Liz. And that will never change.”

Peter’s clueless mind plays changeable games with him over and over again. His heart was separated in two. One side was filled with the gratefulness and adoration he saw in you for him. The other was filled with the love and admiring emotion he perceived for the senior that escalated his heart every day and whispered in his beating chest, unknowing chest , “I’m so in love, so in love. So in love, so in love”.

You were his anchor. You were his truthful, caring, and exceedingly generous, friend.

She was just a facade of his seemingly hopeful dreams.

You look so beautiful in this light, your silhouette over me. The way it brings out the blue in your eyes is the Tenerife Sea. And all of the voices surrounding us here they just fade out when you take a breath. Just say the word and I will disappear, into the wilderness .

Your eyes cascaded over Peter’s suit-adorned body as it danced slowly and smoothly to the wave of the music. His hands set on Liz’s waist as her neatly manicured fingers laid themselves on top of Peter’s broad shoulders.

Your hips moved slightly with the whispering music beating against your eardrums in a clouded atmosphere. It sounded as if all the echoes and voices surrounding you just faded into the back distance as your eyebrows paired with your dusty Y/E/C eyes in a seemingly weary look as you gazed at the two. Your vision focused on the two of them swaying slowly to the soft drone of the bass. The music’s beat paced with your heavy heart as it thumped against your chest. Those sparkling brown eyes never once tore away from Liz’s smiling gaze, the realization flooding your sudden thoughts. Those engaging, thin lips spread across his face in reaction to Liz moving the tips of her fingers to play with the tiny hairs on the back of his neck.

All your mind could play on loop was the fact that you were standing there, alone, watching the boy you loved with every fiber of your being, getting swept off his feet by someone else. That personal feeling was something that caused your heart to slowly and achingly break piece by piece as it continued to flood your veins.

The feeling that erupted in the pit of your stomach and all around your body was complete and utter heartache.

Should this be the last thing I see. I want you to know it’s enough for me. ‘Cause all that you are is all that I’ll ever need.

Soon, that heartache was transferred through a fiery, intense meaning of words and you knew you were completely screwed.

“Peter, ditching me again for the third time this week does not mean-”

“God Y/N are you still stuck on that?” he shouted at you, hands throwing themselves out in front of you feverishly. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he sighed heavily in annoyance.

Your eyes watched him carefully as he stared at you as if you were being the ridiculous one. Your brain wasn’t connected to your common sense at the moment as your eyes never etched themselves away from his annoyed figure once as he belted out excuse after excuse to you.

As mentioned, your mind didn’t seem to bond with the idea of common sense at this moment in time. Your feelings of betrayal and discontent for the boy in front of you was seeming to mask over every other emotion piercing through your veins right now. Your thoughts and held emotions for the past two years suddenly no loner yearned to stay hidden in the back of your mind and the bottom of your heart anymore.

They wanted to be shown. They wanted to mutter against Peter’s chapped yet desirable lips over and over again, “I’m so in love, so in love. So in love, so in love…”

Peter ran his fingers through his curled hair quickly, breaking your off guarded demeanor to pay attention to his endless amounts of excuses with Liz, “Liz asked me to do one thing, one thing! And you of course, find some way to cause me to second guess myself-”

“Peter-” you attempted to cut him off, your eyes shutting tightly and then opening quickly as the anger pulsed within you. Your body moved slightly closer to his growing figure as he continued to run on.

Say it, say it, say it. It’s now or never, tell him. Tell him those meaningful three words you’ve desired to tell him since the first day you laid your eyes on that boy. Tell him or you’ll regret it forever.

“..and you know I truly, truly like her and for you to just hit me with the whole ‘You always ditch me’ really doesn’t-”

Your mouth slowly yet subtly opens as you prepare to reveal your deep and meaningful feelings that have been bottled up for years. Your heart climbed its way to your throat and you almost felt the room turn dizzy, your state of mind clouding with the net pursuit of idea that would be in your near future. Regret? Guilt? More heartache? Only your mind could tell.

That’s when your mind was threw juggling with your longing emotions and the seemingly simple yet trusted words rolled off your lips, cutting Peter off completely.

“Peter it’s because I’m in fucking love with you!” the foreign words you had rehearsed for so long felt enticing as they escaped your trembling lips.

Silence was the only being set in that moment in time. The room stopped, the motion stopped, it even felt as if the breathing between the two of you stopped. Your heavy breathing became even more erratic as your eyes adverted from your stagnant gaze on the floor and up to meet Peter’s in a nerve-wracking gaze. Your orbs dared to search his as they stared vacantly back into yours. You found no sign of light, love, or excitement in the sweet brown color. You found nothing.

Which tore your heart to shreds. Along with your feelings, and insight of what you thought love meant for Peter Parker.

Lumière, darling. Lumière over me. Should this be the last thing I see. I want you to know it’s enough for me. 'Cause all that you are is all that I’ll ever need.

Liz and Peter were dating within a week. Void, silence, stagnant energy was all you felt since the night you told him you loved him.

Your trembling lips closed as he sighed a deep breath of guilt into the air. Once his eyes turned from the nothingness you witnessed once your figure released the truth, to the brown wash over with complete guilt, you knew.

Your heart had never felt so hollow and your throat had never felt so thick. Nothing could compare to the pain you felt when Peter’s hand reached over and placed itself on top of yours. You cursed yourself at the usual fiery sensation ignite your veins at his soft touch. But this time, the sensation wasn’t an enticing one, it was rejection.

When the words of rejection escaped his mouth, nothing was peaceful anymore. Your tears instantly clouded your vision and your hands trembled at the sight of his guilt stricken face.

“Y/N, I love you. But, not in the way you love me.”

Two days later, Peter nor you have spoken to one another, and you were sitting here, witnessing his hand that was once placed upon yours was now sweetly tied together in her’s, his smile of pure bliss seen only towards her and evident for you no longer.

Your daring and truthful confession of love towards him caused him to realize he needed to act upon his own feelings and get to her heart before anyone else did. That was something you regret not doing since day one.

Peter’s heart belonged to another, and yours was still vowing for it.

This was proof not all love stories receive the happy ending they were looking for.

I’m so in love, so in love. So in love, love, love, love. So in love. You look so wonderful in your dress. I love your hair like that. And in a moment I knew you, Beth.


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Forever and Always

Pairing: lams (laurens x hamilton)

Premise: In the present day, a young historian named Jalisa finds all the missing letters between John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton.

Word Count: 4359 (yIKES sorry)

Warnings: allusions to suicide, angst

*IMPORTANT* a/n: okay, so this was a number prompt that I wanted to flesh out, so here you go anon!! and just a note, in this universe, the ONLY letter found between Hamilton and Laurens was the “cold in my professions” one. also - pay attention to the dates of the letters and the signatures at the end, they’re important…. that’s all!  enjoy <3

Jalisa felt a twinge of excitement as soon as she’d crossed the threshold of the Grange. She stared around at the beautiful old house, trying to take in as many details as she could.

“You have an hour, okay, Jalisa? And make sure to wear gloves when touching anything. Don’t break anything, and don’t mess up any of the displays,” her professor spoke in warning tones, clearly rethinking his promise to her that she could have free reign in the historic house.

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I don’t cry anymore every time I remember you or hear your name,
but it doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t continuously breaking.

Something inside me knows that I will never get over you,
you are the unfinished chapter in my book of heartaches.

I keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t keep looking out the window,
hoping to see you walk back into my life and piece me back together.

—  yoursforeverbutnottoday, Next Chapter

“Come on, Sam - I’ve never lied to you. You could at least pay me the same respect!” 

Honestly, all this pain comes back to one thing every time: we wouldn’t be constantly put through the wringer if Elizabeth and Iain weren’t arguably the best actors on this show. They are incredible and I love them to death and will forever shout for them to continue getting this much screen time, but at what cost. I feel guilty every time I say “this isn’t what I signed up for” after a strong emotional Fitzsimmons scene because deep down I know that is is also exactly what I signed up for haha