the heart break will continue

I’m tired.” she said. “I’m tired of pretending to feel empty about everything. I’m tired of laughing at people when they assumed that I don’t feel anything at all. Because of course, I feel something. I almost feel everything that it suffocates my whole being. I feel it when someone slowly losing interest in me as if they were clouds—fading in the sky during warm summer days. As if they were colors melting their brightest shades. I feel my heart breaking when someone continuously pointing out my mistakes that it erased all the right things I’ve ever done in my whole life. As if everything went blank, and I need to start doing something again that will make them proud. I feel people’s words touching what’s deep within me. Especially when they were the people who were important to me. Especially when they were the people who I always expected to understand the real me.” she looked down at her hands catching her breath heavily. She wasn’t used on opening up her heart to someone. She wasn’t used on telling everything that’s on her mind. Yet she knew, this was the best thing she needed to do. That this can ease the burdens she’s been lifting up for too long. She sighed slowly, then she said, “I just want you to know, that even if people tried to pretend that there’s a black hole inside of them, they will always end up touching their chests and feel their heart beating.
—  ma.c.a // Can you really see me?
5

Pixie dust

Otabek and Yuri are both university students and have known each other since the beginning of their ballet lessons as children. 37 rejected confessions and counting, Yuri thinks Otabek ought to try dating already than continuously breaking every women’s heart. Although things would rather come unexpected.

-

Part 1 / pixie dust

When You Fail To Be

I blame you entirely @kaxpha I take no responsibility.

…. Y u hurt me dude.

Anyways. Here it is, chapter 1. Lance and Shiro angst + broganes angst + KLANCE angst + ….Just angst all around, yo.

Um…So yeah, hope you like??? It’s also on Ao3 on my same name. It’s the second part of the Human Healing Pod Au.

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me. Human Healing Pod Au doesn’t belong to me.

——————————

Shiro frowns exasperated as he catches Lance’s blue glowing light from the corner of his eye.

It’s been a few weeks since their last group training took place with Lance’s new healing powers. The brunet insisted that he had the hang of it, being able to work through the process on small injuries without getting dizzy after it.

Lance had reassure Shiro that he will continue training on his own but Shiro had just pursed his lips, not convinced in the least. After a few minutes arguing, Shiro finally agreed to Lance’s plan but only if the brunet had someone with him during his training sessions, something that Lance had grudgingly agreed to along with a few more conditions.

One week later and Lance was already breaking one of their conditions.

“That boy, I swear.” Shiro mumbles, making his way towards Lance as the brunet places his hands over the alien refugee they just saved in today’s mission, his blue eyes falling into a vivid glow entirely in less than a tick, “Hey, I said no more healing today, Lance. You –“

It was just a light pull. Shiro placed his Galra arm over the brunet’s shoulder and pull just enough break apart the contact between him and the alien’s wound and suddenly there was screaming.

Agonized and pained screaming echoes around them and Shiro just stares in horror as Lance shakes and continues to scream in his arms, his glowing eyes getting brighter before losing their light and then being bright once again.

“Lance!” Shiro shouts startled, “Lance, buddy, what’s wrong¡?” He yells in panic, making sure to hold the teen tight against him as he continues to scream and then –

Then Lance sighs, eyes rolling to the back of his head, losing their blue glow, and he goes limp on Shiro’s arms, mouth hanging open in a silent scream and Shiro’s heart skips a beat at the sight.

“L-Lance?” He whispers softly, voice cracking, “Buddy?”

“LANCE!” Keith’s voice echoes in panic and urgency, “Lance¡? Shiro, what happened¡? LANCE!”

“H-He’s not breathing.” Shiro gasps, a cold shiver running through his spine, “H-he’s not –“

Lance’s suddenly taken away from him by a pair of red armored hands. Shiro blinks in panic and confusion for a moment before he raises his head and stares at Keith as the black haired teen cradles Lance’s body against his.

“Lance, baby, hey, come on, come on, this is not funny, Lance, please.” Keith mumbles, his free hand gently patting Lance’s cheek in hopes of getting a reaction, “L-Lance, baby, please, please, no. Hey! Come on, you promised! Lance!”

Everything’s a blur for Shiro after that. Keith’s screams and pleads echo inside him, mixing themselves with Lance’s screams along with Hunk’s sobs and the image of Pidge’s scared face. Barely noticing when Coran makes his way towards them and takes Lance from Keith’s arms, followed by the blurry image of Hunk holding Keith back as he trashes and screams wildly when Lance is taken away from him.

He doesn’t even notice Allura’s presence until she whispers his name against his ear and he snaps out of it. He blinks hard and takes the surroundings around him. He’s in Allura’s room, lying down on her bed, facing the ceiling in disorientation and confusion.

“Wha –“ Shiro mumbles softly, “What.”

“Hey, it’s alright. Take it easy.” Allura whispers gently, stroking his hair, “It’s alright.”

“What happened?” Shiro asks in a daze, eyes groggy and tired before they snap wide open as he remembers Lance’s limp weight on his arms, “Lance. What happened to Lance? Allura?”

“You killed him, that’s what happened.” Shiro freezes at the cold harsh voice that answers him and slowly turns his head to the side to meet his little brother’s glare.

“Keith!” Allura snaps, sighing in exasperation as if it wasn’t the first time she has scolded the teen.

“What? It’s true, isn’t it?” Keith snaps back, frowning and glaring angrily.

Allura stays quiet and Shiro’s blood turns cold.

“Allura?” He asks in a small voice and Allura shakes her head.

“He died for a few ticks but we were able to get him back.” Allura answers, her shoulders tense and her voice tired, “But it wasn’t anyone’s fau –“

“No. It was Shiro’s. It was Shiro who made Lance push himself in every training session knowing the danger. It was Shiro who made Lance feel like he needed to push and push and push himself more every time. It’s because of Shiro that Lance has dark bags and swollen red eyes and is tired all the time. It was Shiro –It was Shiro who broke the connection and caused Lance’s heart to stop.”

One, two, three beats and then –

“What?” Shiro breaths out, slowly sitting up on the bed and waving away Allura’s complaints, “What? What does that – What?

“Keith.” Allura says calmly but with an edge of warning in her tone, “Stand down.”

“Whatever.” Keith mumbles, scoffing and sending Shiro a dark glare before turning around and walking towards the exit, leaving behind a frozen Shiro.

“What.” Shiro whispers, “What?”

“Shiro –“

“Keith, no, wait!” Shiro ignores Allura’s words as he climbs down the bed and follows his brother with wobbly but fast steps, “Keith Kogane Shirogane, come back her –!”

Keith turns around sharply and Shiro takes a surprised step back at the furious snarl on his kid brother’s face.

“Don’t call me that.” Keith whispers with menace, “I want nothing to do with you, you hear me? Nothing.”

“Keith –“ Shiro stops as Keith suddenly crashes against him, barely dodging the fist that was aimed for his face, “Keith!” He repeats, grabbing Keith by the arms and keeping him still.

“You damn son of a –! It was your fault! You and your stupid rules! You and – and – God, I hate you, Ifucking hate you!” Keith screams, fist hitting the young adult on the chest, “You fucking – I fucking hate –“

“Buddy –“

“You didn’t protect him!” Keith screams, still trashing and kicking against Shiro’s hold on his arms, “You didn’t protect him! You promised and you didn’t –! You just let him die in your arms! You just stood there as he died and –! Fuck!”

“Keith, please –“ Shiro rasps out brokenly but Keith shakes his head, taking a step back from his older brother, shrugging his hold.

“No. No. He died, Shiro. My – Lance died and I – I couldn’t – And –“ A sudden abrupt sob escapes his mouth and suddenly Keith falls to the ground, sobs shaking his entire body, “I –I –I didn’t know what – And you were – You looked so hopeless as you held him and I couldn’t – I fucking lost it –“

“Keith.” Shiro mumbles, his heart breaking for his little brother but the teen just continues to sob on the ground in the middle of the hallway.

“I-I’m sorry, fuck – I’m sorry, Shiro – I know it wasn’t – wasn’t your fault but –“ Keith presses the palm of his hands hard against his eyes in hopes to stop the flowing tears, “It was mine. It was my fault – And I slash out at you and I’m – He was dead, god , he wasDEAD, SHIRO!”

Shiro doesn’t hesitates and then he’s on the floor, wrapping his arms around his little brother as the teen shakes with sobs, still mumbling incoherently against his brother’s chest and Shiro takes no mind as snot and tears mix themselves on his shirt.

He just holds his brother, tight and strong, and sucks in a deep breath to stop his own tears from falling.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs under his breath against Keith’s wild hair, “I’m so sorry, little brother.”

Allura just stands quietly on the corner, watching with sad eyes as the brothers sit on the floor, holding each other. She turns then, giving them their privacy before she enters the first room down the opposite hall.

Her footsteps are soft as she walks towards the bed on the corner of the room. The room is dark and quiet, for the exception of the hard panting breathing coming from the bed.

Allura takes a seat on the start of the bed, near Lance’s face, and watches sadly as the brunet rasps out harsh breaths through his mouth, unable to fill his lungs properly.

“Hush, now, it’s okay, Lance. It’s okay.” She mumbles gently, brushing Lance’s wet hair back as the the brunet whimpers inconsolably, “Sh, asteráki. You’re alright.”

She stays there for a while, humming under her voice to calm the brunet down and whispering comfort words as he whimpers and whines unconsciously.

Allura losses track of the time but suddenly, the door opens once again and she meets Shiro’s wide scared eyes at the edge of the door.

“Shiro.” She calls softly and frowns when the leader of Voltron doesn’t knowledge her calling, his gray eyes solemnly placed on the shivering brunet on the bed, “Shiro, love.”

One, two, three steps back out of shock and then Shiro’s running out of the room. 

origins

or: how each member of the original gryffindor quidditch team fell in love.

Alicia falls headfirst over lunch on a Friday, when she spills her water and all Katie does is laugh and throw napkins over to her side of the table. She falls in love in between letters hastily jotted down between breaks and late nights in her dinky flat near St. Mungos, late nights spent wondering whether to voice how butterflies get caught in her throat every time Katie laughs. How her best friend has blossomed into something fierce, something untouchably bright.

Katie breaks the silence first, one night - says, in a hushed voice, too quiet to be anything but careful, that she thinks she might be in love and Alicia’s heart plummets but Katie’s voice breaks and continues with “I think I’m in love with you” and the rest, as they say, is history.

Katie’s felt it - felt it - the moment Alicia yelled at Malfoy all those years ago on the quidditch pitch. It just took her a couple years to realize.

George forgets about love after the war, too focused on making sure the joke shop does its duty, bringing the slightest sliver of relief to parents and children again. It’s not until years later, when Angelina resurfaces on his radar past the monthly exchanged word here and there, when she comes back from training camp abroad, that love gives him a nudge, a gesture, as if to indicate “There. There I am.”

Angelina loves many people, as bold, beautiful, young women are free to do, and she loves strong and falls hard and falls fast. She’d thought it was her greatest detriment, once upon a time, but there was something almost silly about George at her doorstep, stubbing his foot on the welcome mat, shy in a way she’d never seen before. She told herself this time - this time would be the most dangerous, but three months later, she realizes there’s nothing terrifying about being held by familiar arms.

The twins are the twins, but they aren’t the same. So Fred’s always had love at the tip of his fingers, because Lee’s been at his side since they were fresh-eyed and curious, on the wrong side of too eager. It’s always been there, a quiet undercurrent, the only thing delicate and untouched between them. One day, one of them takes the leap and asks, prods at the tension in the room. When it unravels, their grins bloom tenfold, like fireworks. It lasts for a lifetime.

Oliver says he fell in love fighting on the quidditch pitch (because where else) with an equally passionate quidditch player (because who else) - and that’s how it worked, except there’s always more to a story than that. He brings Marcus home one evening, and his mother smiles and says she had expected nothing else. In reality, Oliver fell in love between dawn and morning practice, yearning hitting him hard in the gut. He’d crawled back into a surprised Marcus’ bed, disregarding his routine morning run in favor of curling into an easy embrace.

Harry finds love lurking somewhere after war reparations and before peace, an odd tentative balance in chaos. He wasn’t looking for it, just as he very rarely asks for anything at all, but it sauntered up, arrogant and brash, unable for him to look away from. Love did that - not Draco, because Draco had his own reparations to make and his own makings of peace and he’d discarded the arrogance for that. Love was a mess and a half, except then it wasn’t, and it made sense, in an odd, funny, sort of way - how inexplicably tied in each other’s narrative the other had been at the end of all things. It made sense in the way that Harry and Draco didn’t, not to anyone looking in. But Harry knows better. He knows what love is, he knows when he has it, and he knows when it’s returned, with a genuine gaze and a steady hand.

“love" by jack zimmermann || a zimbits fic || 3.3k

“Come in.” Bitty thanks the lord for the legitimate reprieve from the essay he’s been painfully forcing himself through all afternoon.

Jack enters, looking happier than normal. Bitty sees why immediately, and the smile that came onto his face when he saw Jack slips right back into a frown. Jack’s holding another memory card.

“I’m got some new footage,” Jack says in confirmation of Bitty’s fears.

“Jack, you’ve got to stop giving me new material.”

Jack’s smile drops at Bitty’s harsh tone, and his eyebrows draw together in a way that would be adorable if not for the circumstance and the fact Bitty is the one to make them that way. “Why?”

“Coz, honey, it’s not gonna help.” Bitty’s too exhausted to bother being embarrassed that the endearment slipped out.

Jack opens his mouth lamely. He looks down at the memory card in his hand then back to Bitty with sad eyes.

“Sit down.” Bitty gestures to his bed, thankful that he made it earlier while procrastinating. He rubs his sore eyes as Jack perches on the bed, then sighs out.

“Your assessment is to create a two-minute video based on love, yes?”

Jack nods. Bitty rubs at his eyes again, thinking of how to be honest without being hurtful.

“You’re an amazing photographer, and it comes across.” Jack picks his head up, looking hopefully at Bitty. It breaks his heart to have to continue. “But there’s no story here. There’s no love. I mean, unless your story is that you really love your camera. I can’t… I’m sorry, I can’t help you make anything out of this.”

Bitty tries to make his voice gentle. Jack turns his head away from Bitty anyway, but not quick enough that Bitty can’t see the hurt.

Bitty’s happily been helping Jack with his AV assessment after Jack asked. He gets to spend time with Jack doing something that Jack loves. But now he owes it as a friend to tell Jack the truth, even if it makes them both sad.

“Sorry, Bits,” Jack mumbles, still not looking at him.

“It’s alright.” Bitty already feels a little guilty for springing it on Jack with no warning. He crosses his arms, then realises that may come across as defensive if Jack ever looks back at him, so rests them back on his knees. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, I just want you to do well.”

Jack gives a brisk nod, but still avoids looking back at Bitty.

Bitty’s not sure what else he can do for Jack, so he simply waits.

Jack clears his throat after a moment and stands up. He looks at the memory card before putting it into a pocket.

“Thanks anyway. Sorry for interrupting your essay.”

“It’s alright,” Bitty repeats, but Jack’s already out the door.

Bitty slumps into his seat and stares at his closed door. He really didn’t mean to hurt Jack, but he didn’t think what he said would be that much of a shock either. Jack’s not ignorant to emotion, no-matter what the news articles sometimes say about him.

He swings his chair back round to stare at his essay, starting up on it again as a distraction.

Keep reading

I’m emotionally exhausted and angry: Why Sense8 being cancelled is not about losing a good TV show, it’s about what that says about the current state of the world.

[READ ON MEDIUM]

My list of favorite shows (other than sense8) includes things like Torchwood and Agent Carter, so clearly I have a thing for doomed TV shows and I’m not new to the feeling of betrayal and lost that comes with your average cancellation, but I believe that sense8 is not your average situation and that’s why it has been trending worldwide on twitter for 8+ hours and it made so many people deeply upset.

Sense8 being cancelled is the entertainment industry equivalent of Trump winning the elections. In Freema Agyeman’s words: ‘A real kick in the teeth for everyone who is striving to make TV more representational & inclusive’. And, because that’s the way media works, a direct reflection of what’s going on in the rest of world right now. And it happened in the fucking first day of pride month, no less.

Keep reading

10

Pixie dust

Otabek and Yuri are both university students and have known each other since the beginning of their ballet lessons as children. 37 rejected confessions and counting, Yuri thinks Otabek ought to try dating already than continuously breaking every women’s heart. Although things would rather come unexpected.

-

Part 2 / pixie dust

Note: Sorry it took me so long to update (work happened) I hope people would still read this~。゚(゚´ω`゚)゚。

Honestly, all this pain comes back to one thing every time: we wouldn’t be constantly put through the wringer if Elizabeth and Iain weren’t arguably the best actors on this show. They are incredible and I love them to death and will forever shout for them to continue getting this much screen time, but at what cost. I feel guilty every time I say “this isn’t what I signed up for” after a strong emotional Fitzsimmons scene because deep down I know that is is also exactly what I signed up for haha

6

“Come on, Sam - I’ve never lied to you. You could at least pay me the same respect!” 

I don’t cry anymore every time I remember you or hear your name,
but it doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t continuously breaking.

Something inside me knows that I will never get over you,
you are the unfinished chapter in my book of heartaches.

I keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t keep looking out the window,
hoping to see you walk back into my life and piece me back together.

—  yoursforeverbutnottoday, Next Chapter

ohsturmhond  asked:

Hiiiiii Clare :) Congrats on 600! What are some of your hcs for the gangsey after the events of the books are done???

heidi!!! thank you!! you spoil me ahhh i had a long week but now i have some pasta and down time and im so Ready™ to talk about these kids that i love with my whole heart this is so long oh god

  • listen idk about you but i’ve been on a ton of road trips and they are not easy so if that trip actually lasts the whole 3 months of summer i’ll eat my shirt
    • ok but please??? imagine the bickering i bet you henry is so directionally challenged, blue probably wants a schedule whereas gansey is probably like “what do you mean we’re not just driving off into the sunset i don’t understand wait…we have an actual route?”
    • don’t lie to me you know he got lost plenty on his various adventures and his soft scholarly heart just went with it
    • protect him
    • but yea anyway they probably went up and down the east coast for about 2.5-3 weeks, hitting up all the state parks along the way and stopping in small towns
    • henry insists they have to find the best pizza on the east coast only to claim nothing can top Nino’s by the end of it
    • gansey wants to see all the wacky tourist spots “to get the authentic experience”
    • at each stop they send postcards to The Barns (theyre all on the fridge)
    • blue takes SO MANY pictures ok but all of them are candids 
    • so while there’s these awful blurry messes she also manages to catch these really fantastic photos of henry falling out of a tree he tried to climb with gansey laughing, of the three of them in a diner shifting their food around (you know how when you know someone so well you just order food and shift things around so everyone has what they like? like that)
    • her absolute favorite: she was recording them on a hike and they stumble upon a little grove with a stream running through and forgot to stop the video when she set her phone down. that night she plugs her phone in to the car charger and gets a screenshot of the three of them standing in the stream, laughing and singing. 
  • after the road trip blue registers for summer sessions at the community college and keeps working at Nino’s and walking dogs, she decides she’s going to save up and get her associates then transfer to a university to get her degree in marketing for art (listen she loves being creative, she loves collecting, she’s smart as hell and would get great buys for up-and-coming artists, that girl could own a really cool gallery i can see it now)
  • gansey defers for a year because. well. dying is stressful. but once he goes to college he decides to study art history. like blue, he loves art but he can’t deny he loves history too, and authenticating old works and searching for ancient tapestries and lost paintings is something our boy would be great at (bonus: in later years he would be the most eccentric art history professor ever and he’d totally where those corduroy jackets with elbow patches and his wire rim glasses im!!! i love the idea of old man gansey being this adorable weirdo professor that all the students love) 
  • because we don’t really know much about henry’s interests i don’t know what his major would be but wouldn’t it be hilarious is he was a professional beekeeper and bought up land to have bee gardens and sanctuaries and started a natural honey business and gansey goes there all the time because he’s Crazy but he’s decked out in protection gear and ronan and blue team up to make a rule that he not go out to the gardens because nobody wants to tempt fate that bad
  • adam and ronan spend the summer together with opal seeing the beginnings of their life together settle in
    • ronan teaches opal more and more english and spends hours figuring out what foods she likes or doesn’t like while training her not to eat sticks
    • adam comes up with little lesson plans for her to start learning how to read and write along with simple math and science
    • ronan dreams up some fake documents so they can get her enrolled in homeschooling because there’s no way they’re gonna do public school and try to explain their satyr child to anyone thats just…nah
    • when they’re not teaching opal ronan is tending to the farm, learning what livestock he wants to buy and care for, going to showings all around the state (people look at him so weird, a tall kid who looks more like a biker than a farmer, cradling a bunny in his arms at the makeshift petting zoo with a little girl on his shoulders. he’s A Sight.)
    • adam, it turns out, is very good at baking and opal develops a bit of a sweet tooth off of his many experiments with different cupcakes and cookies
    • their days are carefree. they explore the fields of the barns, make wild plans for the future, tell opal stories and play with her. they catch fireflies and learn constellations together.
    • every evening is spent giving opal bubble baths and wrapping her up in old tshirts and gym shorts from matthews room then settling down with warm milk and honey and telling stories of sleeping kings, trees that give advice, and ordinary people discovering magic
    • they brush out her wild hair and the fur on her legs and put her to bed and quietly get themselves ready for bed. sometimes adam will read to ronan until they fall asleep. 
    • sure, there are bad nights. they both have their fair share of nightmares. opal does too. that’s when they grab blankets and go sit on the porch and talk about the stories of the constellations until their minds settle again.
    • when they drop adam off at the dorms as he starts his first year, its hard. its really really hard. these three haven’t had a lot of good in their lives up until now so letting go of their routine, of each other, although its temporary, it hurts. none of them cry, but its close (close as in adam waits until they’ve driven away and he’s got a moment alone in the bathroom. ronan lets the tears fall silently as he grips opal’s hand reaching forward from the back seat where she’s crying into her knees she’s drawn up to her chest).
    • the first time adam calls home he’s worried opal won’t remember him, after all they only had a few months together, and they don’t know exactly how great her memory is. his worst fear happens when he’s skyping ronan, who tells opal it’s adam, and she says “who’s that?”
    • just as adam feels his heart break a little, opal leans into the frame and continues, “no papa, that’s dad.” (turns out ronan bought her a book that teaches family vocabulary)
    • adam feels like his heart is breaking again but this time from being so entirely full of love for these two he can barely comprehend it
  • adam, light of my life, goes into law. he gets a full ride because he is smart as hell and super dedicated (can u tell im proud of him). for the most part he assists at a small business firm his first few years out of college but eventually, he focuses on social work cases and getting law changes in the state to make it easier for parents to report their parents without endangering themselves, as well as changing emancipation laws so that emancipated minors can make purchases regardless of age and aren’t left homeless. its very close to his heart but even though it hurts sometimes to see these cases it only makes him want to win even more, and he knows he has ronan and opal to help bring him back from rough days at work
  • ronan is the Best Farmer Ever he starts buying livestock and filling up The Barns with dairy cows, hens, and goats (he thinks its hilarious when they get there and opal is absolutely fascinated by their legs). part of the land has an orchard that has both normal fruit and some of the trees niall dreamt up, and ronan sells fruit at a local farmers market as well as to other farmers who make local preserves. declan comes by here and there and…they actually start to get along a little better once declan accepts that this is ronan’s life and ronan accepts that declan was just trying to do what’s right. it also helps that for some reason opal loves declan like. so much man. and he loves her too theyre practically best buddies its precious, and even better when matthew is over too. all the lynch boys are weak for this little girl ok? they don’t stand a chance she’s got them all wrapped around her little finger.
  • finally, there’s noah. 
    • every year on the day he died, truly died, for them, they all get together and go to his grave (his birthday is for his family).  they tell his headstone about their classes, about new things opal has learned, about how the farm and the bee garden are going. 
    • blue always kisses her hand and presses it to the headstone before she leaves. he was her first kiss, so he gets another every year as thanks for giving her the boy she loves.
    • ronan always brings opal and tells her about his best friend, about a boy who was dead but lived loudly in spite of that. he leaves dream fruit at the headstone, and opal leaves her favorite stick she’s found that week. 
    • henry never met noah, but he hears so much about this boy who was a ghost, who was technically non-existent who still gave the last vestiges of himself up, just for the friends he’s come to think of as family. he leaves a bouquet of the most beautiful wildflowers from his garden.
    • adam always starts off with telling noah about classes, trying to keep himself together, but he always ends it by choking up halfway through telling his headstone how important noah is to him. adam leaves a stone from the river, almost like he’s redirecting the ley line again. 
    • gansey is always last. while everyone else is there for comfort they always leave gansey to say his goodbyes last, and instead take him into a hug when he gets to the car. gansey just…he needs to do this alone. he needs to tell noah it wasn’t for nothing, that he’s doing everything possible to make noah proud. gansey never knows what to leave that could possibly live up to what noah has given him. he leaves a copy of pictures of them every year. noah gave him life, so gansey leaves evidence of the people he lives for, the people that make it worth living, the people that miss him. the people that remember him. 
Forever and Always

Pairing: lams (laurens x hamilton)

Premise: In the present day, a young historian named Jalisa finds all the missing letters between John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton.

Word Count: 4359 (yIKES sorry)

Warnings: allusions to suicide, angst

*IMPORTANT* a/n: okay, so this was a number prompt that I wanted to flesh out, so here you go anon!! and just a note, in this universe, the ONLY letter found between Hamilton and Laurens was the “cold in my professions” one. also - pay attention to the dates of the letters and the signatures at the end, they’re important…. that’s all!  enjoy <3


Jalisa felt a twinge of excitement as soon as she’d crossed the threshold of the Grange. She stared around at the beautiful old house, trying to take in as many details as she could.

“You have an hour, okay, Jalisa? And make sure to wear gloves when touching anything. Don’t break anything, and don’t mess up any of the displays,” her professor spoke in warning tones, clearly rethinking his promise to her that she could have free reign in the historic house.

Keep reading

You’re on YouTubers React to Kpop and you’re their favorite YouTuber (Seventeen)

So I broke it up into different songs for the units

Hip Hop Unit: Check-in

Performance Unit: Highlight

Vocal Unit: Chocolate


S.Coups: -you would be dancing almost instantly ‘he’s acting so tough for someone so adorable looking’ you would comment at the end- “thank you Y/N”

Originally posted by scoupstv

Jeonghan: -’aw he looks so soft’ you would say as you grab your partner from your channels arm ‘the lip bite got me’ you would claim as you put your hand over your heart to be over dramatic- “she likes me. I will meet her some day”

Originally posted by visual-17

Joshua: -you would start swaying and by the end you would be smiling ‘see with kpop you don’t need to understand to get the warm feelings from videos and songs’ you would chuckle- “if she said she would love me I would love her response even more” 

Originally posted by lovejoshua17

Jun: -’Oh Seventeen. Who doesn’t like them’ you would say instantly noticing the group. ‘Like the performance unit is the best unit’ you would continue as you watched the rest of the video- “she actually knows our group and likes out unit the best”

Originally posted by withjunhui

Hoshi: -almost as soon as the video started you made a sound ‘oh I’m in love’ you joke as you look at him and then looked up. ‘They are really good’ you say as you smiled happily- “please love me. I would love that”

Originally posted by kwontv

Wonwoo: -’my god his voice is so freakin deep. I like it’ you would say ‘I’d buy the mixtape with ease’ you would comment as you- “she likes my voice”

Originally posted by sassyminghao

Woozi: -you were always a dork so saying ‘I don’t know who I want more him or the chocolate’ you would laugh at your own dumb joke before smiling asking to move on so you would be less embarrassed- “please let it be me more than the chocolate”

Originally posted by woozioppa

DK: -you instantly slapped your partner as said ‘this is the vocal unit of Seventeen’ before smiling ‘I love the group everyone is so cute’ you continued as your friend rolled their eyes and tried to watch with your constant talking- “she’s right we’re cute”

Originally posted by pabospoiler

Mingyu: -you would instantly start watching with complete focus ‘that’s some bright ass hair. Like you wouldn’t lose him in a crowd’ you would. You would start dancing with it though- “well it could be worse. At least she noticed me”

Originally posted by minghaon

The8: -you would instantly start dancing along with the music. ‘I like it already’ you say as you continued watching happily. ‘Kpop is a happy thing, I have no idea what’s going on normally but its always fun. Other than that which group is this?’ you would ask- “will you become our fan then?”

Originally posted by mienghao

Seungkwan: -’That smile though’ you would tell yourself as you smiled at the video ‘if I could I would like to hug them all. They don’t deserve the heart break’ you continue as you finished the video- “she wants to hug me”

Originally posted by 001liuqi

Vernon: -’I don’t know what kind of voice I was expecting but I wasn’t expecting that one from him’ you would say with a chuckle ‘he’s really cute though’ you would finishing before feeling embarrassed- “she thinks I’m cute”

Originally posted by mc-gyu

Dino: -’Oh I’ve seen this. Fans recommended this to me because the one member watches all my stuff’ you say happily ‘I would go see them in concert if they come to my country’ you tell them as you chuckle- “she knows I love her. That’s nice”

Originally posted by jihoomie

mistakes | jjk

He was never one to cry often, but when he did, it was so overwhelming that you often cried with him.

It was late one night; he was always out late, gone until the ungodly hours. And you always stayed up for him to hear him come home, closing your eyes and pretending to sleep on the couch so he could carry you back to your room while you listened to his heart beating gently in his chest. But tonight seemed…different.

When he came home, he walked to the couch as he always did to find you laying there, your cheek resting on both your hands at your side. And he stared at you quietly for almost half an hour. He had been so quiet as to not disturb you that you could barely hear his uneven breaths, giving away the fact that he was crying. But you continued to lay there, your heart and soul breaking every second with his light sniffles. Why would he cry?

Eventually, when you didn’t hear anything any longer, you opened your eyes to look at him. And in that moment you had forgotten about the Jungkook that carried you to bed every day, the muscular and strong 19 year old that could lift 15 pounds like a feather, the Jeon Jungkook that had death and fire burning in his eyes as he panted after a performance. All that existed was this one, a small boy lost in a million of emotions.

Your hand slipped around his cheek and he melted into your touch.

“Did I wake you?”

His voice was barely a whisper.

“No, I was awake.”

Tears sparkled in his eyes and your thumb grazed across the scar on his cheek. You made room for him on the couch as his body took up most of the space. And soon, his large figure was curled up in yours, your hands rubbing his back gently as he cried into your shirt.

“I..I’m not p-perfect.”

Slight hiccups enlaced his words and you pulled him against you tighter. Golden Maknae. Years and years with the label attached to him like a floating neon sign, of course it had to be exhausting. It’s taking it’s toll now, his body shuddering with sobs as to relieve the invisible weight accumulated on his shoulders. You knew it all too well, but at the same time you didn’t.

“I love you anyway.”

But you knew he needed validation, a shoulder to cry on, a safe haven. He needed that same safety you felt when you listened to his heart beats before falling asleep.

“I love you anyway.”

anonymous asked:

Do you have any headcanons about Luthors?

alsjkfkd i’ve been screaming at @danveers​ for like several hours now so BUD U BET I DO

ok so this is how i want the lena plot to go (i have more headcanons about every other character but like. this already got long whoops)

  • ok first and foremost, i want to see lena be upset, angry, shocked when she is arrested. i want her to be allowed to have those feelings and i want to be shown them because god lena has such an interesting backstory and such potential and that moment of pure resignation–she saved every alien in national city, never got thanked, and now she’s getting arrested–is going to break my heart and i am ready 
  • (no i’m not)
  • kara visits her in jail so quickly that lena almost has to wonder how fast the news is spreading but kara’s just so sweet, all “we’ll protect you,” and obvs lena knows kara is supergirl but it’s sweet even from kara–it’s a promise, a vow that she won’t partake in the gossip, and it means the world to lena
  • the deo doesn’t trust lena and thinks she’s bad but kara is like nope. nope she’s good. u are all wrong sorry lena is good that is a #Fact
  • kara ends up going off on her own to prove lena innocent. like she’s not against the deo in any way because they’re her friends, they’re her family. but she realizes she can do this–be supergirl, save the day, save the girl–on her own. she realizes she can, and she needs to, and she will
  • as she explores we get flashbacks: lillian trying to groom lena once she realizes lex is going to remain in jail for a very long time, but still being so so cold bc as lena said, lillian never really loved her. lena staring at all the terrible things her family has had a hand in making. 
  • flashbacks that on the surface look like lena is evil but if you know lena you know that the way she’s clenching her fists and grinding her jaw show that she hates it, all of it
  • at the same time, it’s her chance to be the golden child. it’s her change to be a luthor, and a tiny piece of her wants it. she doesn’t take it, of course she doesn’t, but every time her mother looks at her with that badly disguised contempt, her heart breaks a little more. she has no one
  • kara continues to visit lena in jail. they talk about anything, everything. lena tells her about those moments, about the frenzy after lex went to jail, about all the times she could have joined cadmus but didn’t
  • kara tells her about her aunt astra, about how hard it was when she was first adopted. she doesn’t give details, doesn’t reveal her secret, but just barely. after a moment of silence, kara reaches out, puts her hands on lena’s, hates the way a wrist adorns her own wrist and handcuffs ring around lena’s
  • i believe in you, kara says. lena stares; no one has said that to her before. kara seems to sense lena’s shock. she gives lena a look that’s pure supergirl determination, says it again: lena luthor, i believe in you. for the first time, lena doesn’t hate the sound of her last name
  • alex does some exploring of her own because she realizes kara wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t really, truly believe it. she finds something, some tiny piece of info that looks odd, and sends it to kara. it cracks open another clue, and another, and kara figures it out: cadmus was behind the escape the entire time
  • lena is released, and she gives an exclusive interview to catco (read: kara) about how grateful she is that supergirl was able to prove her innocent, how she hopes the two will be able to work together more in the future
  • (kara begins to suspect lena knows. when lena blinks winks after saying “i can’t wait to see supergirl again,” kara knows lena knows)
  • but then, lena thinks it’s over, it’s done
  • she’s just happy she’s free, and she doesn’t really expect more from kara than that; in fact, she’s already gotten so much more than she expected
  • but then kara shows up at her door again, this time with food (“you just got out of jail and i don’t know if you’ve eaten you must be hungry im hungry anyway hi i hope you’re not busy,” kara says all in one breath)
  • lena hugs her, and then lena kisses her. kara drops the pizza
  • i’ll–uh, shit, i’ll get that– just– can i kiss you again first?
Count Your Lucky Stars (Alternative Ending 1)

Alright kiddies, here’s one of the two endings I promised you. Sorry it’s a little late, I got caught up at work. In case you are wondering, yes this ending does contain an angsty ending because what better way to end Langst other than with more angst. And yes again, that was a Blink-182 and Panic! at the Disco reference in there. Why? Because everything I do is bittersweet. The second ending I’m currently typing and should be up later on. Anyways, enjoy!!


Finally, after nearly a month they were able to track down the Galra ship that had Lance. It was concerning the amount of time he had spent at the hands of the Galran Prince. The longer it took to find Lance, the more time Lotor could’ve spent winning him over to their side.

Everyone knew they were being selfish and maybe doing some wishful thinking, hoping that Lance would remain loyal. During the time it took to find him they had gone through all of the little black stars held in the jar. And boy did that take some time. If by some miracle Lance came back, it would probably only be for the sake of Coran and Hunk. The amount of stars the two had combined could be counted on both hands.

Even with that fact present, Hunk was still beating himself up with the hurtful things he said, and that he couldn’t tell his best friend was feeling so down. He wasn’t even sure if he could still call Lance his best friend because Hunk felt he didn’t deserve the right. He should’ve seen all the signs, and took the time to comfort him, or at least let him know there’s someone by his side.

Most of Shiro’s stars were blank. It confused all of them for a while. It was only after separating them into piles of who said what and then based on their memories if they were said in the same conversation, that it hit him. The blank stars were to symbolize all the times Shiro had ignored Lance. All the times he brushed him to the side, not seriously considering the things the Blue Paladin said. Shiro didn’t take into consideration that sometimes silence can hurt far more than words.

Pidge felt she had a lot to think about. She knows she can be snappy practically all the time since she doesn’t get the most sleep. Some things she doesn’t even remember saying, but they seem to have struck deep. Her heart continuously breaks at the thought of losing another brother. This pain more unbearable because it wouldn’t be the Galra’s fault this time, it would be her own.

Keith couldn’t even wrap his head around the unforgivable things he said. The worst part about it all he could’ve fixed it. Too many times he told himself that he was going too far, but he just kept on pushing. Too many times he wanted to chase after Lance and apologize, but coward out. Keith wondered which one of these stars would contain the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Allura couldn’t find any way to excuse herself for the things she said to Lance. She was caught off guard when she saw that some of her stars were written in Altean. It was a little messy and off, but she knew what they said. Coran had informed her that Lance had started learning the Altean language to try and make them feel less alone. He was always acting with her feelings in mind, and all she did was treat him as a pest.

Coran simply needed to work on his listening skills. Thinking back on their previous conversations he realized that he would interrupt Lance as he spoke. He can understand that being interrupted can cause one to feel as though their words aren’t important. This he experienced himself growing up. It wasn’t that he felt his words were more important than Lance’s, he just hasn’t had anyone to talk to in so long that he sometimes get carried away. The others also don’t seem to show as much enthusiasm as Lance does when he’s listening to his stories.

While Pidge and Keith kept the Galra ships busy outside, Shiro and Hunk infiltrated it to find Lance. Usually, Pidge would be used for stealth missions, but they felt if Lance truly needed convincing, it would be best to bring Hunk along. It didn’t appear to be necessary because they found him in a cell, beaten and bruised. This could only mean that Lance refused to change sides. Even after all they’ve done, all they’ve said, Lance remained loyal.

They were able to get him to the ship and worm-holed away without too much of a hassle. Maybe luck was on their side since Prince Lotor or Haggar didn’t appear to be on the ship at the time. If they weren’t so happy to have Lance back, they would’ve been concerned that it was a trap. If it was one, they’d worry about that later. For now, they’ll just count their lucky stars. Everyone was present this time, they made sure of that. After they got him into a healing pod Coran announced it would be about two earth days before he would wake. The injuries being shallow enough that they wouldn’t scar or take long to heal.

When Lance woke up they were all there paying attention this time, and not having a clock party. Everyone apologized profoundly for… well for everything. For forgetting him, for taking so long to find him, for all the mean things they said, for going through his stuff while he was gone, and for all the small things. They promised they would change if he was willing to give them a chance. Lance always believed in second chances, and to prove he was willing to move on, he burned all the stars, good and bad, so that they could start fresh again.

The team put forth their best effort to start complimenting Lance more and watching what they said around him. They started doing things they felt they should’ve done in the first place. So, when they went into Lance’s room after sending him on a solo mission to check their progress after three months to say they were shocked was an understatement. While “the good jar” had significantly more and “the bad jar” had significantly less (although a lot of them seemed to be things Lance thought about himself now), there was now a third jar added to the collection: The Dirty. This one had little gray stars in them. Nothing written on them was bad. If anything, they seemed like they belong in “the good jar”.

It took a while for them to put two and two together in order to understand exactly what “the dirty jar” was made for. When it finally hit them, they realized they would be fighting two wars at once. This jar was made for the words they said, that Lance didn’t believe. Of course, it would take more than just a few nice words to solve everything. They also had to put action behind those words to get Lance to believe them. They were all willing to fight this fight, but how can they when it’s fought in Lance’s own subconscious? How will they be able to prove to the Blue Paladin that they loved him if he didn’t seem to love himself?


Main StoryEnding 1/ Ending 2