the healthy maven

You know he's a keeper when:

~He pretends to care but has an ulterior motive
~Makes a sport out of killing you
~Becomes a genocidal maniac to Win You Back™
~Murders babies
~Obsesses over you like a prize to display on his mantel piece
~Threatens to kill your friends just so he can have you all to himself
~Puts a collar around your neck on live television in order to humiliate you and show the world that you belong to him, that you are his pet