the hardware store

Ace Hardware Slogans
James W. Hastings

Based on this post by @winterdragon101 featuring slogans written by @nextstepcake

These are pure genius and I had to make them a thing. I was going for the voiceovers that I used to hear on auto-loop working nights in a Home Depot.

3

History

Decided to combine these two requests. Hope you like it!

Your eyes were growing heavy as you continued to stare down at the history assignment that was currently sprawled out on Archie Andrews’ kitchen table. The smell of pizza was wafting through the kitchen as the greasy box sat untouched on the kitchen counter; it was enough to make your stomach growl in anticipation but there was no time for that – not until you finished.

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In stream the other day, we started talking about an Avengers Mall AU, and now I can’t stop thinking about it, because I have so many years of bad retail stories built up in my head and non-powered AUs usually don’t work for me, but the longer I think about it, the funnier this gets.

Steve and Sam are two guys who retired from their military branches and teamed up to run an artesian bespoke candy shop.  Steve has no idea half of their sales comes from the fact that Sam put the candy pulling hook in the front window and teenage girls just stand there, drooling.  Sam is totally aware of this, and uses it to ALL his advantage when he’s doing the sugar work.  

Bucky took a part time job at the Hot Topic across the way because hell, he was spending all his time hanging out with Sam and Steve, might as well get paid.  He was the only reliable employee over the age of seventeen; he is now the manager and he’s FURIOUS about it.  His staff is made up of Nico, Kamala and Sam Alexander and various people who get hired and then don’t make it through the training because Bucky glaring at you while you take register training is just SO HARD TO HANDLE.  No one is sure if he’s after Sam or Steve or both.

The SHIELD crew runs a pretty decent mall restaurant, but yeah, used to be a Golden Corral and Fury reserves the right to yell “Do you see a buffet here?” at anyone dumb enough to think it still is.  He doesn’t actually do it, because most of the people who are confused enough to ask are retirees who remind him of his grandma, but still.  He reserves the right.  Nat is a truly terrifying line cook, Maria’s front of house, and Phil’s the head waiter.  Clint doesn’t actually work there, but he’ll put on an apron and belt out an impressive rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ in exchange for free food, and no one else on staff wants to do it, so he eats there A LOT.

Clint is always in the mall.  In the back corridors.  Hanging out in the food court.  Wandering up and down the anchor store escalators.  Everyone thinks he works somewhere else.  No one knows where he actually works.  There is a betting pool.  It has been building for YEARS.

Jan runs the sort of high end boutique that has like, four outfits in two sizes on six gigantic racks.  There are no prices.  You do not ask how much it is. You know if you can afford it.  If she likes you, you can afford it.

Thor runs the hardware store.  No one knows why the hardware store is there.  This is not the sort of place one would see a hardware store.  Thor says he inherited it from his father, and it was there before the mall, and no one really wants to look into it.  Mostly, they seem to get by on selling knives..  Big knives.  Little knives.  Knives as long as your arm.  They get by on selling knives, because who’s buying screws at this place?  Oh, right, anyone Sif TELLS to buy screws.  "You need screws.“  "Oh, no, I-”  "You can always use more screws.“  "Y-yes, ma'am.”  She might be domming half of their customers without knowing it.  The Warriors Three run the stock room.  Badly.

Bruce runs the used bookstore down on the lower level where he can’t really afford the rent but the mall management like saying there’s a bookstore, and no one else is going to rent that hole, so he gets to stay, hiding in his piles and piles and piles of used books.  Mostly science and history, but he does a brisk business in romance novels and murder mystery paperbacks.  He likes it down there.  He wishes people would stop trying to get him to come upstairs to socialize.  He also kind of wishes people would stop coming down TO socialize.  His cousin Jennifer runs the register and helps the customers most days, she’s very quiet and very mild mannered and wears very lumpy clothes and giant eighties style glasses, so no one recognizes her when she goes to her second job, as a crossfit instructor for the gym on the top floor.  Jenn is, as they say, RIPPED. Put her in a leotard and her whole personality changes, it’s like she’s a different person.

Carol is a recovering alcoholic ex-pilot who runs the bar at the ‘bad’ chain restaurant down on the far end of the ground floor.  Other than the SHIELD place or the food court, it’s the only place to eat in the mall, and honestly, you’d be better off in the food court.  The food is trash, but she can mix a mean mojito and she knows every secret of every worker in the place, and she’s paid double on Saturdays because she’s her own bouncer.

Jessica Drew runs the arcade on the main floor, one of those stupid ones with 'glow mini-golf’ and games that constantly spit out tickets, you know, legalized gambling for children.  It’s a chain, but the give out far too many prizes and she and her staff (Peter, Miles, Anya) would be fired if they also weren’t the highest grossing location on the eastern seaboard.  They throw the best birthday parties in the state, and have a waiting list that’s like, months long.

Wanda’s shop sells… Something.  No one knows what any of this stuff does.  Or if it’s legal to own.  But when you find something you want, OH GOD YOU REALLY WANT IT.  She mostly sits and reads, and drinks tea from Hank McCoy’s tea shop. 

Stephen Strange quit his job as a surgeon and retired to run a magic and joke shop.  If you ask him why, he just shrugs and said he made some very bad choices.  A relative somewhere oversea, Asia, Clint says it was somewhere in Asia, died and left him some sort of inheritance.  So now he just sells fake rubber vomit and teaches slight of hand.  Buy him a drink, and learn more than you wanted to know about card tricks.  Walk into his shop, and be prepared to sit through at LEAST four card tricks before you can escape.

Greer run’s “Tigra’s Treasure Trove” on the second floor, it’s the anime and manga and gaming and comic shop.  She wears cat ears and a tail.  Every day.  No one’s sure if she does it to bring in the otaku, or if it’s a lifestyle choice.  No one wants to ask.

Tony owns the mall.  Owns like a hundred malls across the country.  No one knows, Obie does the day to day running of the management company, but Tony owns them.  He’s mostly in it for the buying and selling, but he likes this mall.  This one.  He likes it here.

He has a Sharper Image type store on the top floor.  It’s him and Rhodey and Pepper and Pepper will kill them both one of these days but he sells the sort of stuff you do not need but God you want it.  You walk into his store and it’s all apple store chic, white and chrome and gleaming surfaces, collapseable tablets and robots and holographic projectors and all the geek chic that you want and everyone in the mall wants something from him, they’ve all got something on layaway (he only does layaway for other retail workers because he doesn’t want to keep track of this stuff) except Steve and it makes him insane.  He spends far too much time trying to figure out what he can stock or create or build that will get Steve into his shop.

Pepper calls them “Steve-Grabbers,” Like 'grandma grabbers’ but designed to attract the most sincere hipster she’s ever met and she’d kill Tony over adding this stuff to stock without telling her, but it all sells.  It all sells.  In his desperate attempt to attract Steve, Tony misses and attracts EVERYONE ELSE.

Tweeter and Skeeter.

This is long, be warned. I live in a lowish income neighborhood. My little section is pretty nice, but if you go a few blocks in any direction, it gets pretty shitty. That means I’ve had a few run ins with skeevy meth heads and small time thieves.

This started when I moved in to my house. I noticed that on trash pick-up days, people would go up and down the alley where the trash cans go and dig through looking for recyclables. One of them was a guy I called Old Bob.

Old Bob lived a few houses down. He said he collected to buy presents for his grandkids. I don’t think the kids liked pints of Dark Eyes vodka, but he was harmless. So I started bagging up my cans separately so Old Bob didn’t have to dig through my trash.

Then, there were Tweeter and Skeeter. They would roll up and down the alley in a junky old truck with no exhaust that belched blue smoke. They looked like the after pictures from Faces of Meth. After they saw in was bagging cans for Old Bob, they started grabbing them. This didn’t sit well with me.

The next time I saw Old Bob, I told him I would leave my stuff just inside my yard, up against my shed, where you couldn’t see the bag from the alley. This went on for a month. Then, I heard and smelled Tweeter and Skeeter rumbling down the alley. I didn’t think anything of it, then I heard the rattle of a bag of aluminum cans being thrown into the bed of a truck. Those fuckers had gone into my yard to grab Old Bob’s drinking money. That shit would not stand.

I went to the hardware store; I bought a cheap pair of locks and some latches. I put the latches on my trash cans, I would unlock them when I left for work, which was about 15 minutes before the trash truck came down the alley. I also gave Old Bob a key. By this time, we were becoming downright neighborly. I would chat with him and have him help me around the yard and throw any spare cash his way.

After a few weeks, I heard Tweeter and Skeeter again. I heard them stop, then rattle the can lids, then drive off. I came out the next morning and the fuckers had pried the latches off my cans, and stolen the locks, too.

Now I was pissed. They were stealing Old Bob’s drinking money, and they had fucked with my shit. I stopped keeping cans separate, and started dumping used cat litter over everything.

Tweeter and Skeeter would still roll up to my trash area, but they weren’t willing to dig through shit to get anything. Old Bob was still helping me around the yard, so I would hands him bags of cans when he was over, in addition to the extra cash.

Everything was quiet for a few months. Then, we had a bad storm and the gutters on the alley side of my shed got messed up. They were in OK shape, but the underlying board and gotten torn up. It was too late in the day to do anything, but I figured Old Bob and I could take care of it the next day.

That night, I was woken up by Tweeter and Skeeters damn truck. But before I could throw pants and shoes on and chase them off, they were gone. So were the gutters on my shed.

Needless to say, I was fucking livid. After I calmed down, I went to Home Depot to get a new gutter. As luck would have it, I heard the fucking meth-mobile start up in the parking lot as I was walking in.

I wasn’t about to confront them directly, since I like having all of my blood and internal organs on the inside. What in did do, though, was get a good look at their liscense plates.

They were expired (of course) but the layer of soot from burning oil had obscured the sticker. You wouldn’t notice it from more than 5 feet away.

Finally, I had a way to get back at them. I called a relative who knew a few of the local PD. They said the address on the last registration was a house that had since been burned down in a meth lab fire. They never caught the cooks, but they going to keep an eye out for the truck. If nothing else, they would get a ticket and have to put current plates with a real address on them.

I was OK with this, but I wanted blood. I got my wish when the city did heavy trash pick-up.

I put an old grill in my back yard and scratched “Not Trash”, on the underside, along with spraypainting the smokestack white. Sure enough, Tweeter and Skeeter saw it and couldn’t resist. Once they had done that, I spent a few hours on a Saturday driving around the shittier parts of my neighborhood until I spotted my grill sitting in a yard.

I called my buddy with the police contacts and told them where they could find Tweeter and Skeeter and their un-registered vehicle, along with a stolen grill.

A few hours later, Tweeter and Skeeter came home to a few cops waiting for them. Since scrapping from heavy trash pick-up had been good to them, they were caught with a not insignificant amount of Meth and a lot of precursors to make more.

Tweeter has to serve out a 5 year sentence in prison. He also pinned the lab fire on Skeeter, who will be serving 10 years along side him.

Old Bob still helps me out, too.

Friday Stroll? How About a Spacewalk?

On Friday, May 12, NASA astronauts Peggy Whitson and Jack Fischer will venture outside the International Space Station, into the vacuum of space, for a spacewalk.

Space Fact: This will be the 200th spacewalk performed on the space station!

You can watch their entire 6.5 hour spacewalk live online! (Viewing info below!) To tell the two astronauts apart in their bulky spacewalk suits, Whitson will be wearing the suit with red stripes, while Jack Fischer will have white stripes.

Space Fact: The first-ever spacewalk on the International Space Station was performed on Dec. 7, 1998.

For Peggy, this will be her ninth spacewalk! She actually holds the record for most spacewalks by a female astronaut. For Fischer, this is his first time in space, and will be his first spacewalk. You can see from the below Tweet, he’s pretty excited!

Once both astronauts venture outside the Quest airlock, their tasks will focus on:

  1. Replacing a large avionic box that supplies electricity and data connections to the science experiments
  2. Replacing hardware stored outside the station

Specifically, the ExPRESS Carrier Avionics, or ExPCA will be replaced with a unit delivered to the station last month aboard the Orbital ATK Cygnus cargo spacecraft.

Ever wonder how astronauts prepare and practice for these activities? Think about it, wearing a bulky spacesuit (with gloves!), floating in the vacuum of space, PLUS you have to perform complex tasks for a period of ~6.5 hours! 

In order to train on Earth, astronauts complete tasks in our Neutral Buoyancy Laboratory (NBL). It’s a gigantic pool with a full mock up of the International Space Station! Here’s a clip of astronauts practicing to install the ExPCA in that practice pool at Johnson Space Center in Houston. 

In addition, Whitson and Fischer will install a connector that will route data to the Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer and help the crew determine the most efficient way to conduct future maintenance on the cosmic ray detector.

The astronauts will also install a protective shield on the Pressurized Mating Adapter-3, which was moved in March. This adapter will host a new international docking port for the arrival of commercial crew spacecraft.

Finally, the duo will rig a new high-definition camera and pair of wireless antennas to the exterior of the outpost.

Watch the Spacewalk Live!

Live coverage will begin at 6:30 a.m. EDT, with spacewalk activities starting at 8 a.m. EDT. 

Stream the entire spacewalk live online at nasa.gov/live 

OR 

Watch live on the International Space Station Facebook page starting at 7:00 a.m. EDT

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

The Signs as Liminal Places
  • Aries: A rock concert bathroom, the walls are shaking from the bass.
  • Taurus: The White Castle drive-thru at night. The speaker is buzzing and no one is at the window. Your car lights aren't on anymore.
  • Gemini: Under a bridge while it's raining. The cars are rumbling overhead almost as loud as the thunder. It's not cold.
  • Cancer: The bedding section of a department store. Music doesn't make it this far, the only sound you hear is your hand running across a white duvet.
  • Leo: Your living room at four a.m. The sun is trying to rise but the mist outside is too thick. Your television is on but the sound was turned off hours ago.
  • Virgo: The first gas station on your personal road trip, a bell makes an unfamiliar ding as you walk in. There's nothing here that you need.
  • Libra: After the last movie of the night. The lights are shutting off in odd places of the theatre and you're still holding your 3-D glasses.
  • Scorpio: The door and window section at a hardware store. Old school music plays from far overhead making it muted but audible. The section checkout desk is empty.
  • Sagittarius: A small town laundry mat that should've been shut down years ago. You can hear pool balls rolling on a table as the owner plays alone.
  • Capricorn: A straight stretch on a road with no streetlights. You don't know how fast you're going and it doesn't matter-there hasn't been a soul in twenty miles.
  • Aquarius: The small airport where you catch your connecting flight. Every now and then you hear the wheels of a suitcase skate across the laminate. It's bright in the terminal but you can feel the darkness of night seeping through the glass.
  • Pisces: The brightly colored fun-center of Wal-mart. Every so many minutes a crane game begins playing on it's own.
The Domestic Garden Witch: Hangin’ Out

So maybe you’re a college witch with limited space and money, limited to the one window in your dorm. Or, maybe you’re a witch without extensive backyard space who wants to start up a magical garden. Perhaps you’re a kitchen witch who wants the freshest herbs right at her fingertips.

For many witches, having a garden seems to be a bit of a no-brainer. After all, plants and magic go hand-in-hand. Plus, when thinking of a witch, it’s hard not to think of a cottage in the woods with a little vegetable garden out front. Unfortunately for the majority of us, our cottage in the woods is a tiny flat, and our garden out front is a windowsill with limited space.

This is when it comes time to embrace your craftiness and bring your garden indoors! Not only does it place your garden in a convenient location, it also allows you to freshen the air, recycle what would otherwise harm the earth, and embrace your witchy green thumb!

Another Indoor Succulent Garden, Josh?

Yeah, yeah, it’s another succulent garden. Bite me. But this goes to show how easy and inexpensive succulents are, frankly! They’re an ideal type of garden for those on a budget or who are limited on time and space. In fact, I’ve often said to my boyfriend (who claims that he has no green thumb whatsoever) that the only way to not have a green thumb is to end up killing succulents. Especially since they’re low maintenance.

I’ve always had a love for hanging gardens. I’m not entirely sure why, but somehow, they always bring a bit of life to a garden. Perhaps it’s because it’s a great way of simulating a three-dimensional landscape in a world where everything is either standing or flat, or perhaps its just the fact that it’s refreshing to see green at or above eye level. Regardless, this project is a great weekend craft for the college witch who wants to bring some magic into his or her home.

Unlike our previous container gardens, this is one that generally has to be crafted from scratch or with a starter frame. A frame can easily be any wooden picture frame, or you can create your own if you’ve access to power tools.

1. Place the frame front-side down. On the back, fasten a wire mesh (such as chicken wire) to the inner edges to cover the opening of the frame. Around the edges of that opening, fasten strips of wood, about a quarter-inch thick, to provide depth to the opening. Then, seal all of that up with a flat board of wood. What you should end up with is a frame with some depth, like a shadowbox frame, with a wire mesh where the picture would usually be.

2. If desired, now would be the time to paint your frame.

3. Once the frame is dry, lay it backside down. Add moist potting mix through the mesh and into the box. Continue doing so until it is packed down and won’t fall out of the box.

4. Take some cuttings and begin planting them in the soil through the wire mesh. If needed, cut the wire mesh to accommodate some larger cuttings. Continue doing so until the wire mesh and soil are mostly covered. Spray with water and carefully hang in an area that receives plenty of light.

Magic In the Wood

Our previous container magicks have taken a look at metal, seashells, and even the magic of recycled items. But it would be a shame if I were to miss the magic that wood can bring to a container garden. After all, there are entire traditions of magic that focus on different woods and trees (those who participate in druidry definitely would know this, especially as Ogham places particular emphasis on trees and wood).

In working with container gardens, the wooden planter box is usually an easy go-to for buying or building, but the type of wood is usually overlooked. Every time my family built a planter box, the only concern was that it was a hardwood (that way it didn’t rot quickly, and could stand up to the weather and usage). But different trees embody different aspects of magic. So from a witchy standpoint, we can add to the magic of our gardens if we incorporate that into our container gardens!

Now keep in mind that these are going to be general correspondences and descriptions. Depending upon where you live, a tree or wood may have different characteristics (for instance, hawthorn may be linked specifically to magic and protection in Europe, but here in California, the oak is usually more linked to that). 

First is the usual hardwood here in California: redwood. Sturdy, tough, and depending on the source, often a rather beautiful reddish pink color, redwood is an easy go-to. Typically, redwood or sequoia can be linked to wisdom, protection, stability, and strength.

Pine is another frequent go-to. Though its color isn’t as striking, it’s qualities of protection, wisdom, prosperity, and strong association with life are great qualities to implement in a garden.

Oak varies from place to place, and from species to species. Here on California’s Central Coast, it’s hard to go too far without seeing a Coast Live Oak, which grows easily here and has a strong feeling about it that makes it seem that it’s constantly watching and constantly protecting. Oaks are nearly always linked with wisdom, and in some cases are so strongly linked to magic that they merge with magical characters (no joke… in some stories about Merlin, he became an oak tree upon his death). Regardless, oak brings protection, wisdom, knowledge, and masculine energies to one’s garden!

Birch is easily recognizable for it’s lightly colored wood, and for its bright white bark. But while it makes for a sturdy wood, it can also reflect aspects of flexibility. For this reason, it can be used in making a box that will encourage adaptation, creativity, and intuition in your garden.

Those are only four examples, and are some of the easiest woods to get a hold of in your local hardware store. Consider the type of wood you’re using when creating a planter. What aspects does it represent for you? And how can you bring its magic into your garden?

May all your harvests be bountiful! )O(

5

New digs for Oscar Perry! Finally had the time and materials to put this together. So far he’s rather suspicious of this strange new world but I hope he’ll enjoy it once he settles in.

Excavator clay with some sand and soil mixed in. Caves are supported by stones, old hides, a piece of tupperware, bits from the hardware store…. whatever worked! He’s got six hides in total including two humid ones. A couple go down to the bottom of the tank, allowing for the use of a UTH, while the rest of the heating is supplied by a CHE overhead. UV is also provided.

the hardware store in town got chicks recently and my roommate took this photo and they’re so fucking tiny and precious and cute but im screaming because

computer enhance

Android Companion AU

Lucis is an advanced civilization, the crown city of Insomnia is self sustaining and generally safe, but the limited land with which to build on can barely fit the growing population. You are an independent adult who had landed a dream job in the heart of the city, your parents bid you farewell from their farmhouse just east of Lestallum, and now you are living alone in a very crowded, claustrophobic, and constantly noisy business district.

One day, you find an offer of comfort in your solitary life:

Model: NOCT-1.5 (limited number of units produced):

  • This model is the cutting-edge technology of all companions available in the market, the be-all end-all royalty of the trade. it is never advertised because very few people can afford it, but you’re a tech nerd and you’ve heard of the legends
  • It’s usually ridiculously expensive and waaaay out of your range, for some reason, this one is on sharp discount in your local computer shop
  • the clerk tells you it’s on a discount because it has been taken out of the box by a previous owner and returned, but is in top shape otherwise
  • it’s a small investment even after the price cut and you’re seriously trying to talk yourself out of it, but the more you look at the android behind the sheer plastic, the more you are entranced by the sharp features and slim design.
  • a part of you hungers to see what the eyes look like once turned on, and what kinds of apps and functions you can install on such a rare product
  • you take it home, and the moment you plug it- him in, bright piercing eyes glow red for three seconds, and then mellow out to a soft crystal blue

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  • Milo Murphy: Uh oh, I'm running low on supplies. Looks like I'll have to stop by and resupply at the greatest store ever.
  • Zach: What store is that?
  • Milo Murphy: What stor-? Why the Hardware Store of course
  • Zach: What's so great about the Hardware St-
  • Melissa: Zach, no!
  • Milo Murphy: What's so great about the Hardware Store? they have everything,They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters. Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers. Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters. Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
  • Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
  • Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
  • Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers, Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
  • Melissa: I tried to warn you....

anonymous asked:

Post-Christmas reduced prices at a hardware store. A woman comes in and wants to buy those As Seen on TV Star Shooter things, which have gone on sale to $17. We have 148 of them left. She buys all of them. I then spend the next hour loading them into her pickup truck in the snow. She already has 50 of them in the back from another location. She's headed to a third location. There trunk is full. The back seat is full. The rear view mirror is obstructed. She drives with 10 boxes on her lap. Why?

Trump Survival Tip No. 10: Thermite

Ever wanted to stop an armored vehicle stupid-easily, with something that’s legal, very safe to store and use, easy to acquire, and burns like Satan’s asshole? Molotov cocktails might look very impressive, but there’s an incendiary that does all those things and that we’ve all been overlooking: thermite.

Thermite, for the uninitiated–which, let’s be real, it’s the Internet, you’ve all heard of thermite–is a non-explosive incendiary powder made from aluminum filings and iron oxide. It is completely safe to store, since it’s basically just metal dust. Like an 80% lower (more on that right here), it’s pretty much untraceable, as both rust and aluminum filings can be manufactured at home or bought at a hardware store with zero paperwork. And when ignited, it burns at around 2500 Fahrenheit (1400 C), also known as half the temperature of the goddamn sun.

Rust can be manufactured at home pretty easily. Take steel wool, put it in a jar filled with water. Weigh the wool down with a magnet so it doesn’t float. Add 5tbs of bleach and 5tbs of vinegar. Let it sit for a day or two, then filter the resultant brown paste with a coffee filter. Alternatively, you can go to a paint store, where they sell it pretty cheap for pigment mixing, or eBay, where you can straight-up buy it.

Aluminum is also pretty easy to get. Take a grinder to something made of aluminum (cans, bike parts, whatever) and collect the sparks, and bam, aluminum filings. Machine shops will probably give you plenty in exchange for sweeping. Or, like rust, paint shops and eBay are viable options as well.

Mix your two powders at a ratio of 8 parts rust to 3 parts aluminum, by weight. Aluminum is pretty light so it’ll look about fifty-fifty. Mix evenly. Optionally, you can mix four parts thermite with one part modeling clay to get moldable thermite. You can’t light thermite with a normal match; get a magnesium sparkler or bit of magnesium ribbon and light that, and you’re good to go. Now you can melt through the engine block of an armored car like the Alien’s blood through the Nostromo.

Remember: when we fight, we win, so know how to fight!

4

East of Nowhere - Year Three

Master Post Here

Sam x Female Reader

Summary: You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Part four of a seven part series, each chapter detailing the events of one year.

Author’s Notes: Beta’d by the goddess divine: @elliewinchesterr

If you’d like to be added to the tags just drop me an ask.

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff and explicit sexual content.

Word Count: 6600+

Your name: submit What is this?


Two Years, Three Weeks

Sex changes things.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to bask in the glow of a new relationship. The two of you find yourselves in the golden hour when everything is new and exciting, all the previous mundane events of the day seem suddenly thrilling. Now that Sam feels free to touch you, he does so without abandon and his hands seems more present than they did before, squeezing your shoulders at the table before taking a seat across from you, grinning as he nudges your bare feet with his own under the table. It’s glorious, the way one night changed everything about the way you interact. You feel a tingle when he walks into the room, blushing when he catches you looking at him.

For a while everything else is forgotten, research and books and plants are shoved to the back of your brain because you can’t think about anything but Sam and the feeling is mutual. You fuck anywhere and everywhere you can because why the hell not? It’s one of the few perks of being Shadow Hill’s only two residents. This world is yours and yours alone so Sam eats you out as you spread over the counter in the hardware store and you suck on his cock in the Beatrice Thurman Memorial Rose Garden.

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Writing is Hard, Pt. 2: Description

Summary: Dean wants to write a second story.

Read Part 1

Warning: Smut, dirty talk, use of a vibrator, all kinds of fan fiction clichés

Word Count: 4000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


Your laptop is screaming at you from its spot on the motel table.

You ignore it.

It’s not like you’ve been waiting all day to check it. It’s not like you were impatiently stomping around as you folded clothes with Sam and Dean in the laundromat, as they took their sweet time at the grocery, as Dean dragged you to some fucking hardware store because he needed a specific type of wrench (the six identical wrenches he already owns just aren’t enough).

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BioShock Builds: How to build your own desk-sized Pneumo Tube

Last year, we created a real-world vigor bottle based off one awesome fan’s suggestion. That inspired our resident sculptor and DIY-er, Jason Babler, to kick off 2017 with a new series – “BioShock Builds.” Every month, we’re spotlighting fan art, DIY crafts, recipes and all sorts of crazy fan builds inspired by the BioShock series.

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