the hardest word to say is goodbye

She wants them to see the real her.
She wants the lilac sky and little books,
She wants to go far away from here.
She wants to escape.
Her mind is pearls and her face is the ocean.
He makes her blue.
She wishes everything were different.
She wishes she can forget everything.
Lord knows she tried.
Saying goodbye to him will always be the hardest goodbye.
But hey, it felt so true.
It felt like love.
—  c.p.s, chanel-over-boys 
Tears On My Pillow

AO3 Link

Dean is drunk. No, not drunk exactly, just…buzzed. He has to concentrate pretty hard on unlocking the door to the bunker and on not falling headfirst down the staircase. The whole place is silent and still, and it fills Dean with relief. After his conversation with Cas, short as it had been, he’d had to go. Had to get out of there, because the crushing guilt of everything he’s done would have sent him over some sort of edge if he’d stayed.

He told Cas he could stay the night. But come morning, before Sam wakes up, then he has to leave. He secretly hopes Castiel leaves before he wakes up too - or maybe that he’s already left - because he can’t face saying goodbye. Asking Cas to leave was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, and it still makes his chest clench in pain as he recalls it. The pained, crushed look on Cas’ face as Dean says the words, the words he had to just come out with so bluntly because if he tried to say it in any other way he would have just broken down crying and confessed everything to the ex-angel and begged for his help.

He stumbles down the hall, trying not to knock anything over or wake anyone up. He wants to be alone. Alone with his pain and guilt, alone with the knowledge of what he’s done to his brother, inviting that angel in without his consent; alone with the resignation of asking the best friend he’s ever had to fend for himself in a world he doesn’t belong in and can’t find his feet in. He knows Cas is struggling with his newly human body. His little speech in the bunker earlier on had proved it. He had tried to smile, tried to brush off everything that happened with April, but there was a strange sense of melancholy that had settled around the former angel, one he either couldn’t or wouldn’t shake off.

Dean casts a glance at the closed door to the room he assumes Castiel is in. He isn’t sure, and is still clinging to the hope that it’s only him and Sam in the bunker now, but he sure as hell isn’t going to knock on the door to find out. He couldn’t lie to Cas about why he needed to leave, so he had to stay as far away from him as possible. Awkward questions would be his undoing, and God knows Cas is the master of those.

He turns the doorknob to his own room and stumbles in, not bothering to turn on the light. He kicks off his shoes and strips off his outer shirt and jeans, leaving his boxers and t-shirt on and trying to keep himself upright. Damn, maybe he’s drunker than he thinks. He grips the edge of the dresser and turns to climb under the sheets, achingly desperate to pass out and just not think any more. But once he turns, all thoughts leave his mind and he just stares, open-mouthed, at the sight before him.

Castiel is asleep in his bed.

For half a second, Dean swears his heart stops beating. He casts around the room in rising concern, wondering if he’s stumbled in to Cas’ room in his inebriated state but no - everything that should be there is. His iPod, John’s journal, the wall of weaponry, the half-empty bottle of Jack… he’s in his own room, and Cas is in there too. Jesus fuck, now what is he supposed to do?

He half considers waking Cas up, asking him what the hell he’s doing and kicking him out into his own room. It would be like kicking an injured puppy, and Cas definitely didn’t need any more kicking when he was down. He’s never been this low before, and Dean can’t bring himself to add to it any more than he already has. He could wander across the hallway and sleep in another room - it wasn’t like they were short on space. He wanted to be alone, after all. Didn’t he?

Or, he could do what he does next. His legs move of their own accord and he approaches the bed. Castiel is lying on his side, on Dean’s side of the bed, facing the wall. Dean leans over, just to check Cas is actually asleep, and almost overbalances and falls on top of him, the whiskey in his veins not playing fair. Cats is definitely asleep, but he doesn’t look peaceful. One hand is scrunched in the sheet, the other pillowing his face, and his brow is scrunched up in consternation. His dark hair is a mess, and he’s still wearing the t-shirt he had on earlier. And are those tear tracks on his cheeks…? Fuck. Dean isn’t sure, and he isn’t waking Cas up to ask. The bed is big enough for both of them, he can just slide under the sheets, turn away, and nod off. He and Sam have shared enough beds in the past, it isn’t weird.

Except that he and Cas have never shared a bed. They share a ‘profound bond’, which seems to get stronger as the days go by no matter how hard it’s tested, but sharing a bed is a new one. Dean lifts the corner of the covers and cautiously slides into bed, mindful of moving around too much and waking his friend. Castiel should at least be allowed a good night’s sleep before Dean casts him out into the world, alone.

That thought was painful, and Dean cuts off that line of thinking with precision.

He settles down on his back and firmly closes his eyes, refusing to look at the former angel. He wanted to pass out, to go to sleep and not have to think about Cas leaving. Them sharing a bed would inevitably mean a tough conversation in the morning, unless Dean could fake sleep well enough for his friend to slip out thinking he was unnoticed. He listens to his own breathing, then Cas’, then his own again, and can feel himself starting to drift when a noise, soft and barely audible, cuts through the silence.


And Dean freezes. His whole body goes rigid and he can hear his heart pounding in his ears. That was Cas speaking, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. It was distressed, and Dean wasn’t sure if Cas was crying in his sleep. The body next to him shifts, curling in on itself more, and Dean’s heart aches. Another whine leaves Cas’ lips and Dean can’t take it any more. He shifts onto his side and reaches a hand out towards his friend, his fingers finding his clothed shoulder and squeezing gently in an eerie mimic of the handprint on Dean’s own shoulder. Cas tenses, then relaxes minutely, still asleep but far from at peace. Tiny tremors quake through him, and Dean moves a little closer, his chest almost against the other man’s back. It felt strange to think of Cas as a mere man now, not the angelic force of nature he once was, and Dean swallows through a tight throat. Cas shifts again, snuffling a little in his sleep and it definitely sounds like he’s crying. Dean isn’t sure what heartbreak feels like, but it can’t be very different to this. His eyes burn, and he gives in: he pulls Cas close against him, wraps an arm around his waist and moves his other arm above both their heads to stroke Cas’ hair. It seems to soothe the former angel and he huffs out a deep, shuddering breath, one that Dean unconsciously mimics.

Cas could stay, couldn’t he? He can talk to Ezekiel again in the morning, figure something out. Cas doesn’t have to leave; he can’t let Cas leave. Castiel has put himself in danger for Dean and Sam so many times that throwing him out just can’t be the right thing to do. His drink-fuelled mind crashes through one idea after another, searching for a solution, and even though he fails to settle on one he knows he can’t let Castiel go. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Cas is relaxed against him, warm and soft in his arms, and Dean allows himself to settle back into the pleasant haze of near-dreamland he had been in before Cas’ words drew him out. His eyes close, his mind still wild with thoughts of angels and heaven and trench coats and bright blue eyes…

He wakes up slowly the next morning, on his back with his head pounding and tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. It takes him a moment to realise why he feels so shitty, and why he’s asleep on the wrong side of his bed. Then, with the force of a wrecking ball, it all comes screaming back and his eyes fly open of their own accord. Cas, Cas had spent the night with him in his bed, and Dean really needed to talk to him before he woke up and left. He turns, a hand outstretched to grip the ex-angel’s shoulder and shake him awake, but his hand finds empty air. He blinks, takes in the smoothed down sheets and fluffed up pillow, and the total absence of any of Cas’ meagre things and his throat tightens. Tears burn behind his eyes and he draws in a deep, shaky breath before collapsing back down onto the bed and letting himself cry quietly, his hangover mixed with his raw wave of emotions overwhelming him and breaking down any walls he has left.

Cas is gone.


#ThankYouBones Week

Day 12: 1 Bones Cast, final THANK YOU

“In our culture, we all search for closure. But closure is an illusion. Science shows us that the universe is constantly in flux. It’s what allows our friendships and our love to constantly surprise us.” 

“Quantum physicists have postulated that the way we experience time is an illusion, that it doesn’t happen in a linear way. That past and present– in reality, there’s no difference.”

Those good times with Bones are happening now. They will always be happening. And we can keep them alive forever. It’s not goodbye. Bones will live on- through the fans, cast & crew, and 246 brilliant, beautiful, incredible, awe-inspiring episodes. Always

anonymous asked:

Can I please request the rfa + saeran breaking the fourth wall and finding out their in a game? I get seven kinda did but it'd be interesting to see how all of them would react.

I feel like all of the charcaters would be extremely sad to find out that they could never meet MC, so I made this kind of angsty. I also added Seven even though he kind of does know it’s a game, I just love him too much not to add him! I hope that I answered this one okay, let me know if I didn’t!! ^^


  • The irony of finally getting a girlfriend only to have her for eleven days broke Yoosung’s heart
  • He regretted every single time he called you Rika
  • You were so kind to him, you didn’t treat him like a child, you were genuinely curious about his future
  • All he wanted to do was go to you, feel how warm you would be when he hugged you
  • But that day never came
  • After all, Yoosung was just a character in a game, never being allowed to see you
  • He cried so much, more than he ever has in his life
  • But Yoosung was determined to make the most out of his limited time with you via the messenger
  • When the eleventh day came, Yoosung wept uncontrollably as he called you one last time telling you that you were his sunshine and that you would always be on his mind and that he would always love you no matter what
  • But eventually, his sunshine was taken away from him


  • Zen never thought that such a perfect girl existed until he first called you and listened to your voice
  • After years of being alone, Zen finally found someone who cared about him, not just for his pretty looks but for his true self
  • He realized that he was just a character in a game, that he would never get to see you, touch you, or kiss you
  • Zen felt his world fall apart at the seams but he knew that he had to use his remaining days to give you nothing but all of his love
  • You were incredibly supportive of him when he broke his leg and even more when he had to deal with his scandal
  • Even though he was in a game, you felt so real to him making it hurt that more more when the eleventh day came
  • In his last phone call to you, Zen tried holding back his tears as he sang gently to you, saying that he finally found his princess just like out of a fairy tale
  • However, this fairy tale didn’t have a happy ending


  • For what felt like the first time in her life, Jaehee finally found someone she could call her true friend
  • She was just known as ‘the assistant’ to everyone else but you never saw her that way, you saw her for the strong, independent woman that she was
  • And when you encouraged her to keep up with the coffee project because it made her happy, Jaehee thought about all of the different types of coffee that she would make for you when she would meet you
  • But that day would never come, Jaehee was in a game but you weren’t
  • She tried not to let her feelings get the better of her, she had finally found a friend that understood and appreciated her
  • But as the days went on, Jaehee felt something more for you, you weren’t just a friend who she liked
  • No, Jaehee had fallen in love with you without even realizing it, making it that much more painful
  • Jaehee silently cried when she called you for the last time, telling you that she loved you so much, that she would never forget you, you then told Jaehee that she was your dream
  • And you were hers


  • Jumin didn’t understand that he loved you the moment he read your first message
  • He thought that it was silly, how could he mange to love someone he never met?
  • But he did fall in love with you, something he never thought that he was capable of
  • Everyone saw him as the man with no emotions, but you didn’t, you knew that he had all of the emoitions that everyone else had, he just didn’t know how to express them
  • You treated him like any other person and Jumin would be eternally grateful to you because of that
  • His feelings of love towards you were in vain, since Jumin was just a character who could never see you
  • Even with his wealth, being with you would be impossible and Jumin felt nothing but sadness because of it
  • Nevertheless, Jumin kept a cool and calm composure for those eleven days, even though he was hurting so much on the inside
  • Jumin’s last phone call to you was one of the rare occasions that he cried, he tried his best to convey all of his feelings towards you, with him promising that you changed him and he’s become a better person because of you
  • You asked him on last request, that you would always remain in his heart and his last words were simply stated
  • As you wish


  • He knew from the very beginning that you and him could never be anything more then names on a screen
  • Seven was simply a character in a game, nothing more nothing less
  • He tried his absolute hardest not to fall in love with you, but he stupidly did
  • It was going to be so painful, almost as painful as leaving his brother, when he would have to say goodbye to you
  • But Seven didn’t want you to be sad, so he stayed as 707, joking with you so that you would be happy
  • The phone calls with you were something that he would cherish for the rest of his life
  • For those eleven days, Seven let himself be selfish and feel happy whenever he chatted with or called you
  • He didn’t let his past haunt him, Seven only focused on making you laugh and feel loved
  • Seven barely got any sleep those eleven nights since all he could think about was how his happiness would fade away in the upcoming days
  • The last phone call Seven made to you, he became Saeyoung and while talking to you, he let himself cry tell you how you saved him from his own darkness and although he would never be able to marry you at the space station
  • He would always love you to the moon and back


  • The way that you made him feel when he watched you in the RFA chat room confused him
  • Saeran had only texted you once, some vague message and even though you asked him questions, he never bothered responding
  • But as Saeran watched you chat with the other members happily, it made his heart physically hurt
  • He didn’t understand, why you were making him feel this way
  • Saeran’s life had been the equivalent of hell and he never thought he would feel joy in his life
  • However, as he watched you through the messenger, Saeran realized that he felt happy, that he had somehow fallen in love with you
  • You were so kind to the other members, giving them advice and truly caring for them
  • None of it matter though, Saeran knew that he was just a character in a game and that meeting you would be impossible
  • Even though he knew the pain of when the eleventh day arrived would be immense, Saeran continued to watch you talk to the other members
  • He had less panic attacks and even cracked a genuine smile for the first time in a very long time when he watched you talk to the RFA members
  • As the eleventh day arrived, Saeran decided to call you and confess his feelings, he didn’t care since this would be the last time he would ever hear your voice, he poured his heart out to you about how much he loved you even though this was the first time that he ever talked to you and that you showed him what true happiness was
  • And even though you were going to leave Saeran
  • He promised to love you forever and always

~ Requests and Match-Ups are Open! ~ 

i guess i will never find the right words to say

they say the hardest words between two persons are the first hello and the last goodbye. we left the last one unsaid. i don’t know what hurts anymore. the waves go so high only to crush withing their own selves. we don’t think when we go up and we forget into the fall. hearts are breakable. words are powerful. we never know how to use them anyway. we never said goodbye


Let’s Talk About How Hasil Grew Up Tonight

My longish* review of the Sasil moments tonight

The mountain is all that Hasil Farrell has ever known. Being an important, valued member of his kin is all that he’s ever wanted. Losing his immediate family as a child, Hasil’s always felt like an “Outsider” within his own clan. Add to that bullies like Big Foster and golden children like Asa and Hasil probably thought that the day someone called his name with purpose would never come. 

But then it did. Suddenly, he wasn’t just another ‘cousin’ or the community charity case. Thanks to a serious shakeup in for the mountain and threats to their way of life, Hasil is suddenly someone who matters; someone of import. Someone in his clan finally needed and relied on him rather than the other way around. He was in sight of the most important role on Shay Mountain short of being the Bren’n. I can only imagine how much that must have meant to him. It was a dream come true. Then, it happened.

Hasil chose to walk away from his lifelong dream to take on the role of a lifetime; being a father.

G’winn had it right when she told Hasil one simple thing; If you’re man enough to create a life, you’re man enough to make a decision. Though I think G'winn’s intent was to guilt/persuade Hasil to walk away from any ties he had to the people below, it actually had the opposite effect in the end. Lord knows Hasil didn’t want to disappoint G'winn after all the faith she put in him. He probably told himself all that night and the whole way down that damned mountain (that poor Sally Ann had to walk twice in 24hrs) that walking away from Sally Ann was the only decision he could make. And then they got to the bottom of the mountain. And the moment came to say goodbye forever. And it should have been a few words, some tears and then back up the mountain. 

Hasil stopped, words armed in his throat. But what absolutely SLAYED me was the look on Hasil’s face when Sally Ann turned around and waited expectantly on that dark street with all the hope and love in the world in her eyes. It didn’t even cross Sally Ann’s. mind that  Hasil. would. leave. her. there. and. he. KNEW. it.

This HAD to be the hardest decision he’s ever made in his life. All the times before with Sally Ann, he had the option to go back; to walk the fence of Farrell vs The World without having to jump on either side. But this time, his decision would have permanent repercussions on both sides. Either indenture himself to his clan, resulting in decimating Sally Ann’s heart and giving up any future with his child or take on the responsibility of starting his own family at the cost of permanently severing ties with the only home he’s ever known. 

Hard as it was, Hasil made the most grown choice we’ve ever seen. Hasil made a decision that didn’t just affect him and his happiness, but that of the woman he loves and their unborn child. Sally Ann may never know it, but Hasil Farrell grew a foot taller and man-size pair of balls when he cradled her head and walked away from that mountain with her. And I know that I personally love him for it. 

*Gif by @supermichonnethequeen

What did you guys think about Hasil’s choice? Was it the right one? Was it naive?

Fanboy Au with Taehyung and Yoongi’s relationship getting tested by distance.

Up until recently their relationship has been pretty easy. Sure coming out to Bighit’s staff and the other members was a bit nerve wrecking but it was nothing compared to the loneliness Taehyung starts to feel once Yoongi leaves with the rest of the members for tour. 

“I don’t understand why i can’t just come with you and the boys.”  Taehyung huffs as he watches Yoongi packing his bags. The younger’s heart is breaking, he can almost feel it cracking with every shirt Yoongi tosses in his bag, yet he tries to hide it behind annoyance. 

He doesn’t see the way Yoongi himself is getting slightly annoyed with Taehyung’s whining. 

“Because we’re trying to avoid getting caught. It’s going to look suspicious if a random new staff just tags along.” Yoongi sighs as he folds up his pants and packs them as well. “Plus we both know we wouldn’t be able to keep our hands to ourselves in a place like the States.”  It’s true but it doesn’t make their goodbye hurt any less.  

Especially when they can’t even say goodbye at the airport and have to keep their parting words between themselves in Yoongi’s bedroom the night before his flight is scheduled to leave. 

The first two weeks apart are probably the hardest. Taehyung’s so used to somehow always having Yoongi close, be it down the hall in his studio or right next to him, there are too many moments where he gets excited about something and turns to look for his boyfriend only to remember that he’s thousands of miles away. 

“Right….. he’s busy.” 

Yoongi has it a bit easier with worrying about concerts and making sure the other members stay out of trouble. He has his own moments of missing Taehyung, though. Like when he’s at a pizza shop in Chicago he knows for sure Taehyung would love or when he’s seeing the sunset paint the beach he’s on a beautiful orange pink hue. 

Phone and video calls only make things harder. Taehyung listens to Yoongi talk about something that happened on tour while he sits on the couch in Yoongi’s studio and he has to bite his lip to hold back a sob because he just misses Yoongi’s voice in person. Likewise Yoongi shakes with uncertainty and insecurities when Taehyung begins talking about a new boy group Bighit wants him to work with and how nice and sweet each member are to him.  

Eventually the calls stop all together and are switched to barely there texts. Just random little messages that say “Yeah i’m okay, miss you.” and “Working right now but i’ll message you when i can, love you.”  Both of them fear a breakup but neither of them wants to actually talk about it to the other so they push it aside and work their way around it. 

And then Yoongi calls. 

Taehyung is in the middle of doing the hair of one of the boys in the new group he’d mentioned before and he knows he shouldn’t take calls while he’s working but it’s Yoongi, Yoongi who hasn’t called in weeks, and Taehyung just can’t say no. 

“Yoonie i can’t talk righ-” 

“I miss you.” 

Yoongi’s voice is shaking and it sounds like the elder is crying and  Taehyung stops talking right then while his heart breaks and mends all at the same time. 

“The fans they did this… this project with their light sticks.” Yoongi inhales a shaky breath and Taehyung wants nothing more than to reach through the phone to hold his boyfriend.  “T-They made the stadium look like a rainbow, it was so beautiful all i could think about was how much i wish you could have seen it and i just… i miss you.” 

Finally Taehyung smiles. 

“I miss you too. You’ll be home soon and i’ll be right here waiting for you with open arms and kisses.” 

The sentence is enough for Yoongi to chuckle through the phone and the elder sighs lovingly as he tries to imagine Taehyung standing at the front door of the dorm with his arms outstretched for Yoongi to run into.  It’s enough for Yoongi to make it through the rest of the tour.

“I love you, Taehyung.” 

“I love you too Yoonie.” 

Hardest Goodbye

Who: Josh Dun

Trigger warning: None (at least I think so, if not, please tell me!)

Word count: 1329 


You never thought that saying goodbye could be so hard. But it is. And you tried your best to hide the tears that threatened to fall, just to make it not any harder for Josh and you.

He never let go of your hand, since you stepped in the airport. You never liked them. It just reminded you that you were about to fly back home, leaving Josh behind. For god knows how long.

“I don’t want to do this. Screw university, I’m gonna stay here. With you.” You looked up to your boyfriend, who couldn’t help to hide the little smile that crept onto his face. His eyes, though, they remained sad. Knowing that you couldn’t do what you just said.

“Babe… we both know how badly I want you to stay here. But you have to go back, your family misses you, your summer break is over and your classes start in a few days. I would never let you drop out of college, just for me. Your education is too important.”

“But you’re more important! We don’t even know when we will see us again. If we even see us again…”

Your gaze fell to the floor. You couldn’t help to stop your running thoughts. Or the tears that started to fall. It wasn’t that easy. You didn’t live in the united states. No, you lived all the way to Europe. Where you attended university, or college how Josh always said. You tried your best with visiting, whenever you had a break you flew over, stayed at his place or went on tour with him. But sometimes your money just didn’t allow you to visit as often as you’d like. And since you would never let him pay for you, the months grew longer without seeing your boyfriend. 

Josh did his best as well, flying to you whenever his schedule allowed him to, but since the band grew more and more famous, it got even harder to find enough time. This was probably the last visit for the next half year, he would start his tour through America and you had classes to attend. And your breaks didn’t add up this time. 

“(Y/N), we already talked about this! I will see you again and you will see me again. You will not get rid of me. I won’t let you go. I love you with all of my being, I would never let something like that happen.”

Even though you knew that Josh was probably right, you couldn’t help your fear of losing him. He could meet someone else, someone who was able to be there, someone who could go on tour with him, someone who would help him when he was feeling down. You couldn’t do much, being on the other side of the planet. Phone calls and text messages, video chats, all of that grows tiring after some time. And when this happens, you will lose him entirely. 

“I wanna stay here, with you…”

“Baby… we will work this out, I promise you. Time will fly by and I will have you in my arms again, alright? I love you so much.” 

Instead of saying anything, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. Even though the kiss was simple, it held all of your emotions. The fear, the sorrow, the love. It grew more and more desperate, none of you wanted to end it. But of course, the computer voice had to interrupt you two.

“Flight 5273 is ready for boarding. I repeat, Flight 5273 is ready for boarding.” 

You buried your head in Josh’s chest, knowing that this flight was yours, back home. But was it really home? Without Josh? 

The tears just flow out of your eyes, your sobs getting more and more uncontrollable. You hated this moment. The final goodbye.

“I love you so much, you have no idea.” You murmured against his chest. “We will do this. Maybe I’m gonna skip some classes and fly to one of your shows, I don’t want to miss it.”

“You know that I don’t want you to do that, (Y/N). But I know too, that I can’t prevent you from doing what you have fixed in your head.” Josh laughed quietly. “You’re so stubborn and I love that. I will miss you, don’t forget to greet your family from me, okay?”

You nodded, smiling lightly at the thought of seeing your parents and siblings again. After all, you were a whole month away. 

For the last time, Josh cupped your cheeks and pulled your lips to his. Instead of all the emotions, it held earlier, this kiss was full of promises. You were going to see him again. You two will do this. What is distance, when you love the person more than anything else? Love is strong. Especially yours. 

With a last ‘I love you’, you grabbed onto your carry on and made your way to the gate. You couldn’t help to look one last time back, back to Josh. And the sight almost killed you. He was standing alone, head held low with tears streaming down his face. 

Even though you were already running late and the gates were about to be closed, you had to turn around, back to him. Hugging him one last time. You didn’t want the last image of your boyfriend in your head, be him crying over your departure. 

As soon as you crushed into his arms, almost making him fall, he looked back up to you. Suprised.

“Please stop crying, or I won’t leave.”

“Well, then I might as well don’t stop.” He chuckled, making you smile. You gave him a last quick, meaningful kiss. And then another one. And another one. You couldn’t stop peppering his whole face with little kisses. His cheeks, his nose, his lips. You just couldn’t let him go, you didn’t have strength to walk away.

“Even though I really don’t want you to leave, you have to go now, or else you will miss your flight. Which wouldn’t be too bad - I just want to drag you home with me and never ever let you go. But your family misses you and I wouldn’t want them to hate me for stealing their daughter.” Josh chuckled lightly, trying to make the whole situation a little easier.

“I guess you’re right, but at least you’re not crying anymore.” You smiled at him. “If I see you crying again, it won’t end good for ya, okay? I don’t want you to feel bad because of me, I’m supposed to make you happy, not cry.” You murmured the last part.

“And you do make me happy, more than anyone else ever before, never forget that, okay? Now go, before I change my mind and take you back home with me.”

Instead of telling him that you wouldn’t mind that, you leaned in for a last kiss. Before you even noticed it, Josh pulled away and ushered you to go. 

As you walked away, you blew him one kiss, since it was somewhat a tradition for the two of you. Josh acted like he caught it and put his hand over his heart.

“I LOVE YOU!” He practically screamed to you, from the other side of the hall. 

“AND I LOVE YOU!” And with that, you passed the gate. The lady at the register chuckled lightly, murmuring something like ‘young love’. Even if you wouldn’t see your boyfriend for a really long time, you couldn’t help to grin. You just had to focus on all the great memories you made on this visit and then time will fly by. You kept on replaying his words. “I won’t let you go. I won’t let you go. I won’t let you go.”

Josh was right, you were going to see him again. He loves you and you love him. Everything will work out, between the two of you and the distance. 

hey, that’s no way to say goodbye (lucas/maya)

can i just like,, apologize in advance for this. it made me sad too. but oh well, hope you dig. also listen to this song!! lianne la havas’ version is amazing but leonard cohen is a god so do what you want! okay sorry.

summary: “so let’s not talk of love or chains and things we can’t untie. your eyes are soft with sorrow. hey, that’s no way to say goodbye.” or lucas, after maya, remembering everything that came before.

word count: 1509

The hardest thing was waking up without her, Lucas thought. Her sleepy eyes blinked open, slowly and she smiled, drowsily, wrinkled her nose at him. She laughed and made fun of him for watching him. He would lean over and kiss her, and her lips would come to life against his. It would start as lazy, little pecks and then grow deeper, so deep that he thought they might sink into each other. And then she’d pull away and fall back onto the pillow and with sleep still in them, she smiled with her eyes again, and everything would be quiet and still and perfect for a moment.

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Request- #19 with Dean 

#19 “You walked away. Not me.” 


summary- After 4 years Dean runs into the reader again, but something has changed

word count- 1500 

warnings- Angst if you look close, than fluff.

Originally posted by frozen-delight

“y/n; you froze when you heard his voice, it was a voice you hadn’t heard in  years. Slowly you turned around you knew exactly who was standing there before you laid eyes on him, and as soon as you did you instantly flashed back to that day.


"Dean I have to leave, I can’t stay here with you and Sam for any longer.” You say trying to hide the hurt in your voice. “What are you saying y/n you can’t just take off and leave after all these years.” He said his green orbs staring into your e/c ones. “Yes Dean can, and I have to. Trust me, this is for the best. Please tell Sam that I’ll miss him. And Dean-” you paused this was the hardest thing you’d ever done, leaving Dean like this with no explanation. “ you need to know this really is for the best.  No matter what happens, I will always love you.” You paused again thinking of  how much you loved-love him before saying something you’d never thought you would have to say. “Goodbye De.”  They were your final words to him as you closed the door to the bunker, and let the first of many tears fall.


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A love like that starts with a simple hello, it always does. You’ve never seen this person before, but before you’ve realized anything– you two are already a thing. Maybe she laughs too loud, maybe he’s got a potty mouth– but beneath the loud laughter, she’s a calm and gentle person, she loves to hug people, she loves to hug you. Under all of his vulgarities, he had the sweetest pair of lips, he knew the right words to say, he always made you feel safe. Maybe you’re into writing love letters, maybe you’re into love making– whatever it is, with whoever it is, it’s always sweet, there’s a hint of roughness, but it’s only ever to spice things up. Kissing means you’ve been at it for hours, you never want it to end at that point. Saying goodbye is the hardest, when’s the next time I’ll see you? I can’t get enough of you. You wanna know the saddest thing about a love like that? It always ends with a goodbye, I can only pray that the movies and books were right, this time… I will only have hello to say to you. I never want to say goodbye.
—  The hello
I'm leaving....

Hey guys,

So, after almost 6 amazing months on this blog, I’ve decided to leave tumblr indefinitely. My best friend first made this blog as one we would share, but eventually she gave it to me and i made this blog my own, and i absolutely loved it. The only problem was, my parents had no idea I had it. To a lot of people, this wouldn’t be a problem at all, but I’m so close with my parents that I feel really guilty about it.

I’ve dealt with the guilt of keeping it from them ever since I first made it, and I’ve gone back and forth about deleting it so many times, but it seems to have been getting a lot worse, so I’m deciding to do what’s probably best in the long run (even though I really don’t want to) and leave before I can talk myself out of it any more.

I probably won’t delete this blog, I love it way too much and the almost 4k of you that follow me to completely get rid of it, plus I want to keep providing otayuri content to all of you, so I’ll keep my queue going (at this point I can make it last a month or so before it runs out) and come back every once in a while to update it, but completely get off tumblr. Maybe I’ll get my parents permission to get a tumblr and make another blog they know about (and I’ll come back here to let you know about the new blog) but I don’t know for sure, so there’s a chance this is goodbye for good.

This blog has done so much for me in these few months, I’ve met so many amazing people and it’s helped me through so many hard times with my anxiety recently, so I want to thank every single one of you, even if I never talked to you before, for giving me this experience, and it’s one of the hardest things for me to do to say goodbye

To my amazing internet friends:

@islysmiley i know we still talk on Snapchat and Instagram, but I’m still gonna write a goodbye on here. Talking with you has been one of the most fun things ever and I’m so thankful for the countless hours we’ve spent making jokes and laughing. Between watching Free together (and making a ton of dirty jokes *cough* Reis purple dick drawing *cough*) and practically writing shatt and otayuri fanfictions, its been so amazing. Words can’t describe how thankful I am so I’m just gonna say MAKE US FREE NA SPLASH KASANETA

@sweetpotatoirish1-7 I’ve spent so long talking with you about anything and everything possible, between your brother thinking I was a 50 year old man to creating an entire au based on the first few notes of Say No to This. It’s been so amazing, I can’t describe how glad I am that we met and how great of a friend you are

@imsherlockedtotv5xq one of my first friends on here, we’ve talked about so much together and spent so long ranting about ships, whether it’s spamano or otayuri, thank you so much for being such an amazing friend to me

@ale-le-me we’ve talked so much about all sorts of things, and fangirl way too much over all the yoi official art. You’ve always been so supportive of me even when I was going through rough times with anxiety, and I’m so glad we became friends

@mediocre-anime-fangirl and @yuriplisetskiing I know we haven’t gotten to know each other for that long, but you’re both such amazing people and I really wish I got to talk to you more, and thank you so much for being great friends, even if it wasn’t for very long

Thank you guys for 6 absolutely amazing months on here, and I hope one day I can come back to this account (maybe when I’m older and I don’t have to worry about my parents, or on another blog if I get permission), but if I don’t, I want to say goodbye ❤️

(I’ll stay on here for another day or so in case anyone wants to send a message before I leave, and I’ll send out a post when I actually do leave)


are the hardest feeling 
for someone
who believes in the magic
of love.
—  J.D.