Summary: The reader is Han’s younger sister who wanders off while Han is doing business and bumps into Luke.
Word Count: 4000+
Warnings: None that I know of! Lmk if I missed anything!
The dry heat of Tatooine was unfamiliar. Wind-blown particles of sand stuck to your skin, and the distrusting attitude of the crowds outside the hangar was strong enough to be felt. You folded your arms over your chest, refusing to let fidgeting betray your anxiety. This was your first time away from home.
You were grateful to at least have the familiarity of the Falcon, your older brotherHan, and his co-pilot Chewbacca just behind you. As far as Han knew, you had inherited the Solo sense of adventure and couldn’t stand being stuck on Corellia while Han had all the fun. In reality, you had asked to travel with him because you were terrified of being alone.
Scott is a Star Wars fan, John is a Trekkie. They constantly argue over which show is better. Virgil quietly watches Mythbusters a lot and tries not to get involved in his older brothers’ quarrels. Gordon and Alan are Whovians and really couldn’t care less
Scott & John
One of the oldest geek wars known to human culture is also being fought inside the secluded home of Tracy Island. Scott grew up watching the adventures of Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, desperately wanting to be as talented as Luke in his X-Wing fighter. John, meanwhile, is living the Trekkie dream up on Thunderbird 5. With its gravity ring, and shiny interiors, it kind of resembles the famous USS Enterprise. But whenever the topic of either fandom is raised, it’s set phasers to stun and light sabers ready – while the rest of the family looks on in puzzled amusement.
so i'll start from the beginning just to make things more easy for you too understand. well...ok let's start with episode I or previous...imagine: obi wan is just a boy that nobody wants as padawan you know an "I'm still here situation" but then qui gon takes him as apprentice like you know a little "you'll be in my heart". they are master and padawan and they have to rescue the queen of naboo, doing that, they find a little kid named Anakin all "i just can't wait to be king" a sassy little boy. qui gon decides to take him as apprentice but unfortunately he dies leaving obi wan in despair and with the burden of training the boy. yoda is all "he lives in you" to obi wan and the ginger decides to train the boy on his master's will. obi wan is kind and "we are one" with the boy but the more anakin grows the more he is impertinent. anakin and the queen of naboo (padme) meet again and there's this moment of "two worlds" between them, anakin feels things he has never felt and obi wan is hella scared because "can you feel the love tonight?" and jedis cannot have relationships. anakin begins to be tormented by his feelings and visions of his mother dying and senator palpatine a "poor unfortunate souls" old bitch tries to bring anakin to the dark side. the young jedi has long days of tormented thoughts you know like "reflection" and then he starts to throw hate at obi wan. in the end anakin decides to "let it go" and becomes a sith, guess who? darth vader. padme gives birth to luke and leia and this time is obi wan who's all "you'll be in my heart".
luke becomes an adult and he finds obi wan who's old and all "son of a man" to luke and decides to train him as a jedi. meanwhile the badass leia a girl all "i'm almost there" is kidnapped by vader. luke meets han solo and chewbacca that are all "one jump ahed" and the adventure starts after a wonderful tavern scene like "i've got a dream" . they save leia but obi wan dies and becomes one with the force. then after some years they are on hoth a bloody cold planet, R2 and C3PO are all "love is an open door" and the empire attacks. luke flies away on daghobah where old yoda trains him in a "one last hope" style. leia and han find shelter at cloud city but then they discover that lando, han's friend, has betrayed them and there's a fantastic scene where vader sits at the table all like "be our guest" and then we'll kill you. han and leia have fallen in love in a "whole new world way" but han is frozen in carbonite and leia can't do anything to stop it. luke comes to save the day and starts fighting with vader who says to be his father in a creepy "mother knows best" way. luke escapes thanks to leia and chewbacca who rescue him. jabba's palace, leia is made slave, "prince ali" style everyone and then lando and luke try to save their friends from the sarlacc. the empire is building a new death star and leia finds the ewoks in a "happy working song" kind of way. luke fights with vader and vader gives up showing his last hint of love for his son, yes now it's vader to be all "you'll be in my heart". the rebels win, the empire is destroyed. han and leia are happy together and everyone is relieved and free.
many years later nobody knows where luke is, the resistance is searching for him and a sassy pilot named poe loses his droid with the long wanted map and is captured by the bad guys. meanwhile there is this girl rey who lives on a crappy sandy planet but it's all "touch the sky" and finds the droid with the map. poe is helped to escape by finn, a stormtrooper who wants to be good all "go the distance" and stuff. the bad guys are angry, general phasma, a woman pretty much "make a man out of you" is disappointed by general hux a ginger space nazi who blames kylo ren, aka ben solo, the son of leia and han who is all "i wannabe like you" for grandpa vader, he's a sith trained by supreme leader snoke a "be prepared" bitch. many things are done, finn and rey find han solo who brings them to a wise orange alien "circle of life" style who runs a tavern where rey finds luke's lightsaber and feels the force roaring "colors of the wind". rey is captured by kylo ren, the ginger nazi and the menacing phasma. thank to the force rey escapes and reunites with her new paternal figure han and her friend finn, they try to escape the base-planet-deathstar of the bad guys but kylo ren stops them. he kills his father and fights rey but the girl wins and goes away with the rebels. in the end rey finds luke who's also all "circle of life" face and the movie ends and we don't know anything more so far.
did you just explained me star wars through disney songs?
One great thing that’s come out of Star Wars: The Force Awakens is making fun of that emo little Sith Kylo Ren, particularly when his tantrums become an SNL sketch that inspires tattoos and action figures. And, at this point, it shouldn’t be a spoiler anymore to mention he’s Ben Solo, the son of Han and Leia. Seriously, if you haven’t seen the movie yet, you probably don’t care about it. For the rest of us who have seen it, we can be amused at the thought of a permanently cynical Han and a stressed out Princess– oops, General — Leia trying to raise a lanky emo kid who’s obsessed with grandpa and fascism.
Which makes it even sweeter that Mamalaz over on Tumblr has spent this past week creating a magnificent series of GIFs called “Modern Solo Adventures” which use footage of Adam Driver, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Billy Dee Williams from other movies to make a modern version of Kylo Ren: The Teenage Years. We know Matt the radar technician would probably love these (or throw an insane tantrum, it’s either or, really). And, hey, you don’t have to look at them if you don’t think they’re cool. *hurls GIFs across room*
I’ll admit it: I’m in a dry spell. My love life has been D.O.A. ever since Dante died – I mean, who wants a dinner date who starts sobbing over a plate of spaghetti because it reminds him of that one time he and his brother got into an epic food fight and got pasta stuck on the ceiling fan? Not that that happened, of course…
So, as much as I hate to say it, Harry gave me an idea. If he could create a complex algorithmic cryptogram and launch it into other dimensions to find his replacement, surely I could create a similar one to find love? I initially planned on copying and pasting my profile from LoveFinder.com, but caught myself: why be boring old Trekkie-loving-soda-slurping Cisco when I could be anyone in the world(s)? Instead of Cisco Ramon, mechanical engineer, I was going to be Cisco Ramon, intergalactic adventurer! Think Indiana Jones meets Han Solo. With a baller crib and a tiger on a leash. Well, maybe not that – I’m allergic to cats.
I recalibrated the system, opened a breach, and fired off my message. And then, I waited. But I didn’t have to wait long, because the responses started coming in faster than I could open them. There was a schoolteacher from Earth-37 with a teddy bear fetish that was an immediate hell no. Then there was a middle-aged PTA mom going through a midlife crisis who wanted a little “fun.” I got a handful of college students, a dog-walker with an uncomfortably close relationship with her German Shepherd, and a wannabe popstar whose “serenade” was earsplitting in any dimension. I was ready to hang it up when I got a message from Olivia, a pre-med student from Earth-16, a part-time model and volunteer at the children’s hospital. She was perfect.
I immediately sent her a reply and soon we were bouncing messages back and forth across the dimensions. I could tell I was falling head over heels for her – I mean, not only was she a hot vegetarian with a passion for saving endangered animals, but she was also a finalist on the Earth-16 version of The Bachelor. I told her I was a philanthropist millionaire who collected antique cars and spent my Saturdays teaching archery to underprivileged children. We were a perfect match and I was all set to vibe myself onto Earth-16, elope, and live happily ever after when Barry walked in. He diagnosed my lovesickness and pointed out that true love isn’t built on a threshold of lies. Sure, Cisco Ramon the intergalactic adventurer was a catch, but it wasn’t me. Boy, he sure knows how to suck the fun out of a situation. But he had a point.
I came clean to Olivia and told her I was an engineer at S.T.A.R. Labs. I had my tail between my legs when she came clean too: she was actually a cocktail waitress with an addiction to late night TV. Both of us, it seems, were so desperate for love we pretended to be someone we’re not. At least we have that in common! While true love may not be in the cards for me and Olivia, I’m sure we’ll stay in touch. But for now, I think I’ll go back to my LoveFinder.com profile and see who I’m really compatible with.
I need morning sickness and swollen feet and back pain and food cravings and I need Leia to send Han to another star system just so she can get than one weird alien food thing she wants and I need Han to be obnoxiously supportive and dotting and rubbing her feet and holding her hair back and trying to make her stay in bed (she won’t) and maybe take it easy a little with the resistance work (like hell she will) and keep telling her to try all these weird space remedies his (more than dubious) friends tell him about until Leia bribes Chewie to take Han on an adventure somewhere so she can get just a little bit of peace thank you very much
and I need Han to completely freak out when contractions start (he totally would) and them to bicker during childbirth until the doctors can’t stand it anymore and tell them to shut the hell up