the grovel

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

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“i didn’t raise you like this”.

you’re right you raised me to flinch, to grovel, to cry quietly, to mask pain, to swallow my words, to take rage out on myself. you raised me to cower, to respect authority without any reason, to live with your words riding in me.

you raised me wrong. i’m just reteaching myself how to be right. i’m sorry that doesn’t look like what you wanted it to. but i’m learning to love myself in the way parents were supposed to do.

I’m so used to terfs being incredibly vocal about their hatred of trans people, especially trans women, that this off-brand of ‘cowardly’ terf is so weird to me. Pastel pink aesthetic bloggers with secret side blogs calling for the extermination of trans women (often while posing as a trans ally on their main account) and when their nasty, weaselly secret is discovered, they immediately grovel and cry….don’t b mean to me,,…uwu I am soft bbaby….

Musicals By Their Best Insults
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Phantom of the Opera:</b> "Carlotta must be taught to act, not her normal trick of strutting round the stage. Our Don Juan must lose some weight- it's not healthy in a man of Piangi's age. And my managers must learn that their place is in an office, not the arts."<p/><b>Les Misérables:</b> "Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!"<p/><b>Wicked:</b> "I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy, too. I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition!"<p/><b>Hamilton:</b> "Sittin’ there useless as two shits. Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits!" & "SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!<p/><b>Heathers:</b> (<i>this entire musical is an insult</i>) "Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!" & "SHUT UP HEATHER!"<p/><b>Love Never Dies:</b> (<i>this entire musical is an insult to humanity</i>) "Look at you, deep in debt. Stinking drunk, pitiful [...] Look at you, foul as sin. Hideous, horrible." & "Beauty sometimes goes unseen. We can't all be like Christine."<p/><b>Grease:</b> "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Lousy with virginity. Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed. I can't; I'm Sandra Dee"<p/></p>
I don’t know how you can be with someone who makes you feel like you are crawling… groveling… scratching around in the dirt for scraps of love and affection. How can you allow somebody to make you feel like that? Like you are constantly groping in the dark for something and almost grasping it, but never quite… It’s cruel; to treat a human being like that… to keep them on tenterhooks, constantly questioning what they’ve done wrong and desperately trying to win back the affection they’ve lost.
You deserve to be loved; unquestioningly and unconditionally. You shouldn’t have to fight for love, it’s not a prize to be won. It’s not something you’re supposed to ‘earn’ – it should be given to you freely. You are a beautiful human being, and that alone is what entitles you to be loved. Don’t let somebody undermine your self-confidence to a point where you no longer believe you’re worthy of love unless you change or beg for it… If they were capable of loving you more than they loved themselves, they wouldn’t keep hurting you like this and they wouldn’t expect you to change…
You are the one who loves without question… without fault… and you deserve someone who loves you exactly the same.

no offense but i can’t wait to listen to the ultimate drag taylor swift is writing about everyone who used her name as a springboard into controversy and tried to blame her for things she has absolutely nothing to do with and have now come groveling back creating buzz over “where is taylor swift?!” smh yall are about to get your asses handed to you on a platinum record

the night shift (m.)

;pairing — hoseok/reader

;summary — working the graveyard shift means you’re exhausted by the time 9am comes around. lucky for you, 9am happens to be your neighbors’ favorite time for obnoxious sex. lucky for them, you’re always up for a challenge. shitty neighbors don’t always have to be a bad thing.

;warnings — language | mild unintentional voyeurism/mentions of exhibitionism | slight instances of jealousy | unprotected sex | oral sex | face-sitting | mentions of masturbation | very mild cumplay | soft dom/sub tones

;word count — 11k

;a/n — this wasn’t the hoseok story i originally wanted to post this week but this idea really excited me. happy hixtape season, everyone!

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lordmushroomkat  asked:

Writing request. Klance. Mutual pining. Supportive mechanical telepathic cat-parents.

man i feel like I could easily write 15 000 words about this haha. Trying to make this idea small is hard, but let’s give it a go. 

“So what do we do? We’re a paladin down now.” Pidge states. It’s a topic they’ve been dancing around. Shiro is gone, and yes of course they will find him again, but until then they can’t just… not form Voltron. 

“Keith takes black. Yeah ok, so that’s resolved.” Pidge continues.

“Are we honestly…” Lance starts to interrupt.

“But there’s STILL five lions.” Pidge shoots Lance a look. She knows he wants to argue the leader Keith point, but that’s another discussion. 

“We need another paladin.” She concludes. The group all stare at each other, not sure of what to suggest. The air is stale. 

“I….” Allura starts. Coran grabs her arm protectively. She turns to him with an understanding smile, pats his hand, and steps out of his grip.

“I will fill in.” Her commanding voice rings in the Lion’s hangar. Hunk nervously wrings his hands. Keith looks skeptical. 

“Princess, we need you to…”

“Who else do we have?!” Allura implores. “No one knows the lions like I do. I’m already a part of this team, so it’ll be easier for me to bond than some outsider!”  

The others all share a look. It had to be Allura. Of course it did. But it was a shame that it had to come to this. 

“Who will you pilot?” Hunk moves the discussion forward. Allura smiles and taps her chin thoughtfully. Her eyes move around to look at all the lions. She sighs at a fond memory. 

“My father was the red paladin, and if Keith is piloting black then…” Allura steps towards the red lion. She smiles and places her hand on its barrier. It vibrates under her touch, but does not break.

“It just seems logical.” There’s fondness in her blue eyes. She leans forward and places both palms on the barrier.

“Of course there is the issue of the red lion being the most temperamental so…” Allura laughs. The barrier doesn’t budge under her. Still keeping her out. Keith shakes his head. 

“She doesn’t like it when you call her that.” He sings.

Allura winces. She pats the barrier gently. 

“Ah, sorry girl. I didn’t mean it.” She coos. “I understand how important your paladin is. I know how much you need to trust them. I don’t want to push, but please… please I need you to…” Allura pauses. Her mouth goes taut. She stares at the giant beast in front of her trying to sense it. She leans against the barrier with a frustrated sigh. 

“How did you do this, Keith? I can tell this isn’t working at all.”

“I blasted myself out of an airlock if you must know.”

“Guys, guys,” Lance holds up his hands. “You’re going about this all wrong. For blue and I…. it was like love at first sight!” Lance saunters over to where Allura stands. 

“Your lion is your lady, and she has to know that you are going to love and respect her. You can’t grovel, you gotta woo her.” Lance stands next to Allura. 

“Mind if I show you?” He grins. Allura rolls her eyes.

“Oh yes please. Demonstrate for all of us.” 

Lance rises to the bait. He clears his throat. 

“Hello Red, you look radiant as always. Would it be ok if I spent the evening with you?” He raises his hand to knock on the barrier. 

He immediately falls through. With a vibration and a crackle, he stumbles into the red lions perimeter. He catches himself before he eats cement. He turns to beam at everyone. They look on with disbelief. Particularly Keith.

“See!” Lance exclaims happily. His voice sounds distant and crackly inside the barrier. “Just like that!” He turns to shoot finger guns at the red lion. “Thanks red, you’re beautiful. i love you. Ok Allura, if you just want to…”

Lance bumps against the barrier.

He stares at it in confusion. He tries to step forward and bumps against it once more.

‘What…?” He whispers. 

“Oh no…” Allura stares. Pidge’s eyes widen. Keith starts to look manic. 

Allura, Hunk and Pidge all touch the barrier. None of them can get in.

And Lance can’t get out.

Lance starts to push harder against the barrier. 

“Guys, I can’t…. how do I…?”

“Lance, Lance…” Allura shakes her head. She holds his gaze through the barrier. 

“She’s chosen you.”

Lance’s chest goes cold. He turns over his shoulder to look at the monstrous lion. The red glow around him is bright and hurts his eyes. Nothing like the soothing aura of Blue.

“What?! No! No! Nononono! Blue’s my lion! I’m not giving her up!” Lance beats on the barrier. it flickers underneath his fists. 

“Let me out! Keith! Come talk to your lion! Get me out of here! Tell her I can’t do this! I WON’T do this!”

“Lance, it’s ok. I’m coming I’ll…” Keith smacks into the barrier. So confident that it would peel away for him, that he hadn’t even tried to slow down. He rubs his knee that collided and hisses. He raises his hand to the barrier and pushes. It firmly pushes back. 

“Lance…” He breathily whispers. Lance places his palm opposite Keith’s, so they look like they are touching, but the barrier crackles firmly between them.

“I can’t get in.” His breath shakes with emotion. “She wants you. She’s chosen you.”

Lance blinks away tears. 

“B…but Blue. Blue’s mine. No one can….”

Soft footfalls echo across the hangar. Allura has taken off and runs towards where Blue stands. At a full sprint, she charges forwards and Blue’s barrier easily dissolves around her.

“Alright!” Alurra gives a victorious cheer. Blue lurches forward, opening its mouth ready for Allura to board. 

Lance’s heart breaks. He falls forward. Keith worries his lip and presses himself as close to Lance as he can. Hunk and Pidge wisely walk away. 

“Lance. Lance, I’m so sorry.” Keith whispers. His voice rattles in the comms of Lance’s helmet. 

“But out of everyone here…Red has chosen you. She needs you. Can’t you feel her?”

“But she’s yours, Keith. She’s yours and you’re hers.” Lance’s voice trembles. He looks up into Keith’s face. 

“I know. And she’ll always be mine so….” Keith swallows. “I’ll need you to take really good care of her. She’s trusting you, Lance. I’m trusting you.” Keith looks up with glassy eyes. Blue may have let Allura in, but here Red was actively locking her own paladin out. A surge of sympathy courses through Lance.

“Keith, I’ll…”

Metallic whirring causes lance to turn. Red has bowed down and opened her mouth wide, inviting Lance in.

“You have to go.” Keith states and turns to leave. Lance goes to grab him, but his hand smacks painfully against the barrier.

“Keith wait!” He calls. Keith pauses. His eyebrows knit together and he waits. Lance steps back from the barrier with a frustrated sigh. 

“If I…If I could hug you I would.” He announces. Keith’s eyes widen. 

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Lights Out - Harry Hook X Reader

Originally posted by malfloriannet

A/N: I’m officially back in business! Sorry for being M.I.A for so long, I swear I’m back to stay!
Word Count: 4982
Warnings: Fluff, swearing, hints at abuse
Requested: Yes!

I was wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader and Harry Hook somehow end up sharing a room and they don’t really like each other but he has a nightmare and the reader comforts him and realises he isn’t as bad/mean as he seems?

“I can’t continue like this anymore Mal, I’m going to lose my mind”
You were holed up in your best friends dorm room trying desperately to chug as much caffeine as you possibly could in the few minutes before you had to head to class.
“Surely it’s not that bad Y/N” She replied, handing you another mug of coffee.
You downed it in one.
“Mal! I’ve been running solely on energy drinks, espresso’s and power naps between tutor sessions for the last three weeks. I shouldn’t be alive at this point. I have not slept in almost a month. A MONTH!”
You slammed the mug on the table and scooped together a pile of notebooks and papers. When you looked at your watch you nearly had a mental break down.
“Oh great! I’m late for English Lit,” you mumbled under your breath before charging towards the door, an energy bar in your hand.
Mal stopped you before you could leave, pushing you back down in you chair.
“Y/N, you need to sleep”
“I’ll be fine,” You weren’t really in the mood to listen to her, you had a English exam to sit and you were already running behind.
“I just don’t understand how he’s managed to keep you awake for this long”
She was talking about your new room-mate, the infamous, hook wielding pirate who invaded your living space when he arrived from the isle a few weeks ago. Some how you drew the short straw and were forced to have the unwanted VK as a room-mate; life becoming increasingly more difficult from that moment onwards.Since Harry had arrived he had done nothing but infuriate you, using whatever methods necessary to irritate you. So far the most effective of which had been the sleep deprivation. The pirate would purposely turn all of the lights on whenever you tried to sleep and insisted on playing the sound of crashing waves at all hours during the night. You were one audio file of a seagull away from killing a man.
“I just don’t understand how I’ve not strangled him yet” You replied, rolling your eyes to show you were unamused “Now will you let me go Mal?”
Your purple haired best friend pulled you into a hug.
“Fine. Go ace that stupid exam of yours. Then you sleep” Mal said pointedly, a stern tone in her voice that was almost motherly. “And I’m going to talk to Ben. See if we can get you another roommate”
You squeezed her harder before pulling out of the embrace.
“Thanks M! I really appreciate it. Now if you excuse me I’m about to go get an A”
You saluted her as you headed out of the dorm room and into the English Hall, feeling oddly confident despite the lack of proper rest. Mal burst into a rare hysteric fit of giggles as soon as you were out of ear shot. She knew you’d be asleep within the first twenty minutes of the lesson.        

Three words. You had written three words and your eyes were already starting to droop. Three fucking words. Maybe it was the fact that the exam hall was deadly silent or the fact that the lights had been dimmed ever so slightly but you felt the strongest urge to lay your head down on the desk and drift away into a blissful in-interrupted sleep. This was bad., really bad. The English exam was worth a stupidly large percentage of your overall grade and you refused to let some selfish pirate and his odd sleeping habits rob you of your success.
“Cowgirl the fuck up Y/N” you whispered under your breath as you forced yourself to prise your eyes open. You were met by death glares from those around you.
“Sorry” you mouthed before getting back to scribbling down your answers. No longer caring what the students around you thought, you continued to talk to yourself for motivation.
“You’ve got everything under control Y/N, you can stay awake”
Everything was not under control, there was no way you were staying awake.
To be fair to you, you lasted longer than you thought you would but ten minutes into the exam you were fast asleep.

Tap Tap Tap
You felt your whole body groan as you were awoken to the steady sound of metal hitting oak. You were still wrapped a foggy daze after emerging from your nap and you were still unable to comprehend where your were or what time it was.
Tap Tap Tap.
The noise continued, so you forced yourself to open your eyes and gently scan the room you were in. You saw the desks first, then the chalkboard, then the clock. Then it suddenly clicked. Shit.
Tap Tap Tap.
The exam was over, all of the other students had left the hall, and you were sat alone at the back of the room, still flat against your desk. You glanced at the paper in front of you, you had’t even finished a paragraph.
Tap Tap Tap.
It was in that exact moment you realised that you weren’t in fact alone.
“Ye look so peaceful when you’re dreaming sweetheart”
You felt your blood slowly start to boil as your eyes landed on a particular pirate, sat with his feet up at a desk directly in front of you, taping his hook against the chair leg.  Still, the familiar accent sent shivers down your spine. Crooked smile, dark brooding eyes and one dangerous voice, Harry Hook was unbearable.    
“Don’t you sweetheart me” You hissed glaring at the grinning boy “You’re always so fucking smug aren’t you”
“I have no idea what yer talking about” he continued, grinning even wider as he began to stalk towards you. “That was quite a nap ye took there Y/N”
You scoffed before shuffling in your seat slightly to wriggle away from Harry’s looming presence, uncomfortable with the lack of space between the two you.
“I wonder why,” You whispered under your breath, avoiding eye contact with him.
Harry was now stood directly over you, his hand leaning on your desk, one of his boots resting on the edge of your chair.
“Ye wouldn’t be blaming me now would ye?” The pirate began, before picking up your test paper and tutting at the lack of content. “ Oh Y/N, it seems as though you’ve lost your touch”
He pouted.
“Oh Harry,” you said mocking his tone, “It seems as though you’ve forgotten that the only reason I’m going to fail this test is because you won’t let me fucking go to sleep on a night!”
You were becoming more and more agitated with the pirate who was pressing his face closer and closer to yours.
You gulped, your confidence wavering, when the tip of his nose brushed the skin by your ear.
“Ye know yer starting to blush sweetheart” Harry whispered, a cocky edge to his voice.
It was true, your cheeks were starting to prickle with heat as Harry moved closer to you still. Something about him just made you uncomfortable, something unhinging yet somehow alluring. He was good looking, there was no doubt about it, and all it took was a flicker of a smile across his lips and you were practically melting.
Snap out of it! You yelled to yourself internally. He was an asshole, a sly, impulsive little flirt who made you fail your English final. Yet somehow, you couldn’t stop staring at the blue in his eyes.
Harry was smirking again, clearly aware that you had been daydreaming, so you quickly turned the tables in an attempt to salvage your pride.
“I’m done here Hook,” You said bluntly, standing up abruptly and slamming your hands on the desk.
The sudden movement clearly took Harry by surprise as his smug demeanour dropped for a second, his usual grin drooping a little. He quickly composed himself again though, the facade re-appearing as he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him.
“Leaving so soon sweetheart? I feel slightly offended”
You were so close together now, Harry hands snaking towards your waist, his chest pressed against yours.
“Let me go Harry,” you growled, trying your best not to make eye-contact with the pirate.
You couldn’t trust yourself not to crumble if you looked directly at him.
“Why would I do that Y/N?” Harry whispered, as you felt the cool metal of his hook rest against the small of your back.
You shuddered.
“Get. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. Me”
You pushed him away for good and grabbed your bag, scowling at Harry as you reached down to get it from the floor. You where starting to storm away when Harry called out to you again.
“We can finish this tonight sweetheart” Harry called out, his usual Cheshire-cat smirk still plastered across his face.
“I wouldn’t count on it” you began, hesitating as you got to the door frame “I’m changing room-mates. Ben’s going to sort it”

It turned out Ben couldn’t sort it, so no more than an hour later you were back at your dorm-room, greeted by the triumphant sniggers of the highly amused pirate.
“Back already are ye darling?” Harry teased “Couldn’t get enough of me hey?”
You purposely ignored him, charging over to your bed and dumping your binders and notebooks on the quilt cover.
Harry followed you, sitting at the foot of the bed and picking up one of your books. You snatched it immediately from him.
“What’s wrong with ye sweetheart,” he said patronisingly, “Anybody would think ye didn’t like me”
“I don’t” you said pointedly.
“Come on, work with me here Y/N,” He was still smirking like a dickhead “Do ye ever stop being uptight”
You stopped what you were doing to glare at the boy and throw a pencil at him.
“Do you ever stop being a psychotic man whore?” You fired back, really not in the mood for his ridiculous antics.
He put his hands to his face, resting his cheeks in his palms and pouted; whimpering as if he was offended by what you had said. You sucked your teeth.
“Ye really don’t like me do ye?” Harry laughed
“No” You replied bluntly, your mind drifting to the amount of grovelling you were going to have to do the following day to get your English teacher to let you redo the exam.
“Ye really should ye know - start liking me - we could have really hit it off” The pirate teased as he inched slightly closer to you again.
You huffed, you’d had enough.
“Any chance of ditching the industrial lights and sound effects tonight or what?” You asked brightly, shifting your voice to make it sound more optimistic.
“Nah”
“Then this conversation is over”

The two of you barely spoke for the rest of the night.
Well.
Harry had tried to his best to flirt his way out of your bad books but quickly relented once a hardback novel went flying across the room and hit him in the head. It was safe to say he didn’t bother you for the rest of the night.
Once it had started to get dark outside you changed into your pyjama’s, ditching the floral skater dress in favour of a soft oversized shirt.
“Harry! Hurry up in the bathroom I need to get changed!” You yelled at him through the crack in the bathroom door.
You didn’t trust the pirate enough for you to get changed out in the open of the dorm room - in fear that he may come charging through whilst you were mid-way through taking off your dress.
“Ye know sweetheart it would be a lot easier for ye to just get changed in ye bloody bedroom”
The bathroom door swung open and you were face to face with the pirate who was leaning against the door frame.
“I don’t want to be exposed,” you huffed defensively, putting an emphasis on the last word which made Harry chuckle.
“Ye strange Y/N Ye know” Harry laughed genuinely, his blue eyes lighting up at the way you wrinkled your nose.
There were times, although they were rare, when Harry did this, little pockets of random happiness where the pirate simply spoke his mind. It intrigued you. But then again there were far more frequent times when Harry would deprive you of sleep and embarrass you in front of your friends just to spite you. It was unsurprisingly hard to overlook.
“Just let me get changed you scoundrel” you said lightly, pushing him out of the bathroom and locking the door behind you.

When you walked out of the bathroom Harry was laid on the sofa, his arms and legs stretched out along the arm-rests as you walked past him.
He smirked.
“Oh Y/N!” He called softly in a sing-song voice, the teasing obvious in his tone.
You ignored him as you made your way over over to your bed, unfolding the covers and clambering inside.
“Y/N sweetheart, are ye ignoring me?” The pirate continued, not even turning his head to look at you.
“I’m trying to sleep,’ You snapped at him, irritation making you hostile “Although, I’m sure it’s a pointless exercise, you never turn that bloody sound system off”
Harry made a mock whimpering noise, before spinning around to face you, a condescending smirk plastered all over his face. He cocked his head at you.
“No eye mask?” The pirate asked you with a wicked gleam in his eye.
He huffed loudly. You had bought an eye mask, along with some ear buds, in the hope that you’d be able to ignore Harry at night, but you had come back to find they had all gone confidently missing. Asshole.
“Do you ever give it a rest Harry?” You asked. You sound more desperate than you had originally planned.
Harry only smirked wider.
Then he stood up.
Walked towards the TV.
And turned on the stereo system.

There wasn’t much surprise that you were still awake at two am, even if your patience was wearing thin. Your whole body ached with tiredness, your eyes hollowed, your head pounding, yet there was no way you could sleep. Everything was too bright, everything was too loud. Every limb groaned. You had no idea how Harry could sleep like this, hell you didn’t even know if the pirate slept at all! You grabbed another pillow and pressed it over your head, trying to drowned out the incessant sound of crashing waves in vain, you knew it wouldn’t work, it never did.
You sat bolt upright in your bed, scowling deeper than you ever had before. Enough was enough. You were stood up one, fists clenched ready to confront Harry when…

Darkness.
You were plunged into complete darkness. Every light in the whole dorm room went out in one quick burst, every lamp, every night light gone, as if someone had blown out a cake-ful of birthday candles. Even the blinking numbers on the microwave had disappeared, anything remotely electrical turned off, sent to slumber But that wasn’t all.
Silence.
A long awaited, precious quietness fell upon the dorm room,  no more waves, no more seagulls, no more sounds of the sea. Just quiet.  You smirked to yourself.
Saved by the power cut.
“The fuck Y/N?” Yelled the pirate, leaping up from his bed and clicking the switches on the lamps beside him frantically.
It was your turn to smirk, giggling to yourself as Harry tried to turn the lights back on, clearly thinking this was your doing. Didn’t they have power outages on the Isle?
“Relax Harry,” you said plainly “It’s a power cut, nothing to do with me. I doubt they’ll sort the electrics out until the morning though so just go to sleep for god sake”
“Ye sounding way too happy about this ye know. Just ye wait until I-”
“Good night Harry” You said climbing back into bed. You couldn’t see him in the darkness but you could hear that he had stopped moving. Maybe you were actually going to sleep for once.
“Ye wouldn’t get it Y/N!” He started to shout “I can’t bloody-”
“Good night Harry” you repeated, cutting him off.
You were smiling to yourself as your head hit the pillow, the muffled babbling of Harry mumbling profanities making you grin.
It was going to be a good night.

Or so you thought. You had slept blissfully for a few hours but soon you were wriggling and writhing in your bed sheets uncomfortably. You were freezing. The dorm room was no warmer than outside, the beginning of a gale billowing, ice creeping along the window panes.
“Of course” You sighed to yourself, “The power cut’s knocked off the boiler”
You curled up further into a ball, the only warmth from your own body, the ice blocks that had replaced your hands buried deep within your thighs. So much for a good nights sleep.
You knew then that you wouldn’t be drifting off and time soon and huffed to yourself, Harry for once could not be blamed. Wind rattled at the guttering and rain beat down against the glass window as you propped yourself upright, starting to shiver properly for the first time. You pulled the threadbare shirt over your knees as you tried to salvage any warmth you could but it was know use, you would just have to deal with being cold. You were considering going to find Mal in her room when your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of somebody unmistakeable afraid.

Your eyes had pretty much adjusted to the dark, the silhouette of Harry shooting up from his mattress unmissable. He was gasping for air, panting and holding his head in his hands as he tried to return his breathing to normal. You were stunned, even through the darkness you could see all of his muscles were tense, the moonlight leaking through the curtains illuminating beads of sweat on his forehead. Harry was a lot of things, scared wasn’t one of them.
“Harry,” you called lightly, hardly daring to raise your voice above a whisper “You okay?”
The pirate shot his head around so he was facing you, his eyes wide for a second with alarm before his face settled into a blank unrevealing expression, no familiar smirk in sight. Now you were concerned. He grumbled something unintelligible and the paused, as if considering whether to speak or not, before taking a deep breath and offloading whatever was on his mind to you.
“I have constant nightmares okay!” He practically shouted as if he was admitting it to himself for the first time “I wasn’t being an asshole to ye, with the music and the lights, I just needed to hear the sea, it helps ye know. Ye probably think it’s pathetic but I can’t sleep without the fucking light on” He paused before continuing” Don’t ye dare laugh at me Y/N, I’ll gut ye with me hook if ye even think about telling anyone"
You didn’t have the slightest idea what to do with all this new information. It stunned you, not adding up to the twisted image of the flirty pirate you had in your mind. You were baffled.
“Harry you know full well I wouldn’t” You whispered earnestly.
You cocked your head at the pirate at the other end of the room. Harry Hook had nightmares. Harry Hook who tried to set the King on fire when he first came to Auradon, Harry Hook who scared little kids for fun, Harry Hook who flirted with you just to make you embarrassed, had nightmares. Nightmares so bad that he had to turn all of the lights on and and play the sound of the ocean to himself.
He wasn’t finished yet.
“I’ve always had someone to cuddle with, usually CJ” Harry continued, as you tried to picture the pirate cuddled up to his sister. Piece by piece the arrogant intimidating persona you had come to associate with Harry was coming undone “Now, I realise we are not exactly on that level but yer the only one here and I’m really scared to go to sleep”
It took a while for you to register what he was saying.
He wanted to cuddle with you. Not in a flirtatious seductive attempt but in fearful, vulnerable kind of way.
You both needed to sleep you guessed.
“Y/N?” He called through the darkness, almost desperately.
A knot was starting to grow in your stomach and before you knew it your were stood up, ambling towards the boy.
“I’m warning you Hook” you said gently as you reached his mattress “I’m absolutely freezing”    

He untucked the bed covers so you could climb in the bed beside him, wiggling as far as he could to the right side of the bed so you could lay on the left. You didn’t touch, you didn’t speak, you just laid there, you still shivering, him still slightly traumatised from whatever was haunting his dreams. All together, it was unbearabley awkward.
“What was it?” You said eventually, you words slicing through the uneasy silence.
You felt Harry turn around to face you, his blue eyes blinking at you in confusion. The bed covers wrinkled as he shifted, the crumpling sound the only thing that you could hear. He was bare chested you realised, and forced yourself to draw your eyes away from his exposed torso before he noticed you staring and focus back on his face.
“What?” He asked plainly, his eyes looking tired for the first time, remnants of black eyeliner smudged across his cheeks.
“The nightmare” you prompted, keeping your voice as soft as possible.
Harry inhaled sharply and let out a large breath, the warmth hitting your skin.
“It’s the same fucking one every time” The pirate spat, his eyes looking upwards as his jaw clenched, as if he was angry at something you couldn’t see. “I’m back on the Isle. I can’t be older than about  seven and its him, it’s always him”
“Who Harry?”
You reached for Harry’s hand, or maybe he reached or yours, it was hard to tell. You intertwined your fingers instinctively, a jolt of electricity sparking between the two of you. You were certain Harry felt it too as he looked at you strangely an unreadable expression settling across his face. Neither of you moved your palms.
Harry’s jaw was set in place now, his eyes narrowing with a kind of anger that you knew wasn’t directed at you.
“My Father. He used to…he used to -” He never finished his sentence. He didn’t need to.
And of course there was nothing that you could have said after that. Sometimes all the words in  the whole English language won’t be enough, they won’t help. But he kept looking at you, the bluish-steel of his eyes glassed over and you knew. You knew you couldn’t just lay there any longer.

Just as another bite of cold wind swept under your nightshirt, your hands moved around Harry’s middle, his skin warm and soft. In seconds his body moulded to your own, sharing his body heat as easily as you shared your heart.
“Hey,” you whispered to him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck “If it’s any compensation, you’re not half as bad as I thought”
Harry chuckled lightly, but only squeezed you tighter. He had never let another close to him like this, close enough to share breaths, close enough to share secrets.
“Yer quite something Y/N,” He whispered, slowly returning back to his self again.
You snuggled further into him, grateful for the warmth and the unlikely comfort you found in the pirate’s arms. You wrapped yourself around his shoulders, pulling him close and gently rubbing his arm. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his. You sunk into the warmth of his side and Harry reciprocated, the two of you giggling at things that simply weren’t funny, both appreciative of the friendly gesture.
But it was more than that. Way more than just friendly. There was something else there, a spark of something more than platonic. You had hugged plenty of friends  before and it had never been like this. Not ever
You hadn’t run your hands through their dishevelled hair and nearly stopped breathing when they stroked yours. You hadn’t traced the contours of the chest or stared when they bit their lips. They hadn’t nipped at your skin playfully with their teeth when you joked about thinking they were a psycopath. They hadn’t cupped your face with their rough palms and told you you were different, different and yet so beautiful. You hadn’t blushed. They hadn’t noticed and said it cute. You hadn’t wanted to kiss them so badly it almost ached.
But you did with Harry.
And it scared you a little.
“You smell like sea salt,” you whispered, the tiredness making you act completely delirious “And metal”
“Metal?” Harry asked with a raised eyerbrow, stifling a laugh.
“Metal” You confirmed adamantly, before breaking out in a yawn. Harry looked at you questioningly.
“What?” You defended “You do. It’s not a bad thing”
Harry chuckled at you and you untangled yourself from him, twisting to face away from the pirate.

You started to snuggle down into you pillow when you stopped abruptly. Your eyes shot open. He kissed your shoulder.
He kissed your shoulder.
Harry freaking Hook just kissed your shoulder. And then he did it again.
Before your better judgement could take over you turned around, grabbed the bottom of his jaw and pushed his face towards yours. You were staring at his lips now, doing whatever you could to resist them.
Don’t do it Y/N, don’t do it. Come on. Will power, self-control, self-restraint. Stop staring at him, you don’t want to kiss him, you don’t. Resist the sexy pirate, resist the pirate RESIST!
You did not resist
“Just so you know Harry, I am about to punch you on the mouth with my own mouth, softly, because I think I like y-”
You didn’t get to finish your sentence.
He kissed you. Without warning, without permission. Without even consciously deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn’t have done anything else. You lips crashed together, quickly falling into rhythm as you tilted your head backwards.  You felt Harry’s lips curl up into a smile under your own. You pulled away from him, playfully swatting him on the arm.
“You could have given me a heads up Hook?” You giggled, running your fingers up and down his bare arms.
Harry chuckled airily at you.
“What ye were taking too long” He was smirking again. You breathed a sigh of relief, he was smirking again.
“Who said I wanted to kiss you Mr. Stinky Metal Pirate”
“Ye did not seriously call me Mr. Stinky Metal Pirate?”
“I did” You were trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.
“I do not smell like bloody metal”
“Oh Harry darling” you said in a joking tone “But you d-”

In a split second he pulled your hands away from him and picked you up under arms, pulling you in front of him. You were pinned down, him over the the top of you grinning like an idiot. You were both laughing.
“Harold Hook” you said with mock sadness “You’ve picked the wrong girl to mess with”
You rolled to the side, escaping his grip and flipped him over, sitting on top of him. You pushed his chest down, your hands pressed against his torso.
“Y/N” he said softly, staring directly into your eyes. He leant his forehead against yours.
“Harry” He inched his head closer to yours so that you could feel the warmth of his breath. You pulled slightly away but he pulled you back, pressing his mouth against your ear, whispering to you softly.
“Anything ye want to tell me lass”
“Yeah” you laughed, squirming as his lips tickled your skin “If you don’t want to smell like metal, maybe don’t carry a hook around everywhere”
Before you could say anything, he sprung upwards scooped you up and tossed you over his shoulder
“Un-hand me you beast” you screamed as you flailed your limbs. He eventually let you go and you pushed him backwards on his bed, kneeling your legs either side of him. He wrestled you to the bed again. You tried to push him off, your palms flat against his and you both collapsed in a tangled heap on the floor. You sat up, giggling like little girls. You stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity.
“I’m tired. I’m going to sleep” You said eventually.
“Okay” he said simply grinning at you.

At that exact moment every light switched on one by one, flickering into action. You clasped at your ears when the stereo turned back on, playing the track at a significantly louder volume than it had originally been set at. Both you and Harry groaned but then started to laugh.
“Powers back then I guess” You said as you watched Harry wrestling with the speakers to turn them off.
“Yeah” the pirate awkwardly said, setting the remote down once it was quiet again.
“Still want to cuddle?” You asked hopefully, turning out all of the lights except for he lamp closest to Harry’s bed.
He looked up at you, grinned, then looked back at the floor.
“Ye’ve just read my mind Y/N”
He turned off the final light once you both laid together, you’re head resting on his chest listening to the gentle rise and fall of his breathing in the darkness. Finally, for the first time in months, you drifted off into a blissful, uninterrupted sleep.

Under Capitalism everything is commodified, everything becomes a product. What was once a simple patch of woods cannot continue to exist unless it serves a function. Of course, the only function deemed worthwhile or of value is if that patch of woods is making money. To stay a patch of woods it must become a park, which means it must be bought and held by a board of executors or government agency who worry that too many raccoons might cause problems so they’ll have to call an exterminator. To simply be requires that this patch of woods transform itself into someone’s property, or that it be managed and governed, and that’s if we still want it to be a patch of woods! Unfortunately very few people have the time for such an endeavor (time is money after all) and would rather bulldoze and rip up the woods to make something profitable. All the lives and spirits contained within literally amount to nothing in the face of “the market” because the wild world exists outside the realms of profit.
Because it cannot grovel before capitalism, it must be destroyed.
—  Dr. Bones, Curse Your Boss

photo by thess-graffiti

“I don’t know if I’ll ever learn to fly, but I know that I’ll never learn to grovel.”

Signs During A Breakup

… and will they take you back?

(Personal experience. Look at sun signs and moon signs.)

ARIES: Will go out a lot. They won’t want to think about it. Kind’ve in denial at first. Very likely to go a bit crazy after a break up and kiss a shit tonne of people, or get with ex’s friends, or yell at their ex’s. This type of behaviour will last for about a week. If they broke up with you it’s unlikely they’ll return (unless they get bored). But if you broke up with them they’re the type to want you back and will be persistent - it’ll become a chase all over again, if anything they want you more.

TAURUS: Usually find it really hard to move on. The type to be still be in love with you after a year on. I don’t think they ever really get over their ex’s. Very likely to get back together with their ex’s… however once they are done with someone they are 100% done so it depends on what the person did. Also once they’ve moved on to someone else they really have moved on.

GEMINI: Rebound central. Will be dating someone the day after the break up. Reason for this: They were thinking about breaking up before you even considered it. Not the type to go back to an ex, they may think about it but usually they have made up their mind.

CANCER: They need to cry it out. Will play victim. Don’t really want to talk about it. Pretend they’re okay. Would probably take back an ex back, but it would take them ages to get over it even if they say you’re both fine now.

LEO: Will not show that they are hurting to their ex. Their ego is no. 1 priority. Will make sure they look like top shit and will act like they don’t care. Revenge will be had if they have been hurt. Might have a dramatic break down but unlikely. Would get back with their ex’s if their ex’s apologise and grovel.

VIRGO: Best at handling a break up. The whole thing will usually be done without drama and will be done logically. Will take time to really get over things. It takes a lot for a Virgo to really open up and to trust people as they’re usually quite cautious even if they don’t seem it. For that reason alone a breakup will most likely be the end with that person for them.

LIBRA: Will initially run away. Whether that be emotionally or physically. Will hide their feelings or will not even want to see you. Unlikely to be any big breakdowns after the initial break up, will avoid conflict (hence running away). Most likely will not get back together with you, but after a while they’ll probably be flirting with you again.

SCORPIO: Emotions run deep with this sign though they rarely show it. Will need a lot of time for themselves, they will withdraw into themselves or focus on getting even. Like Taurus, Scorpios find it hard to move on even if they were the ones to end it. Scorpios rarely get back with their ex’s unless it was a mutual decision or your decision to end it.

SAGITTARIUS: They’ll take time for themselves, they’ll cry and they’ll break down for about a week (or even a day). Then they’ll pretend they’re fine. They’ll go out more, spend time with their friends and meet new people. They’ll rebound fast and they’ll act like they were over it before it even ended. Sags don’t stay down for long it’ll be ‘onwards and upwards’. They don’t take their ex’s back unless they’ve truly changed or it’s in the initial few days.

CAPRICORN: It takes a lot for a Capricorn to break up. They’re usually in it for the long haul, think married with 2.5 children. If broken up with they’ll be practical and act fine about it. They rarely express emotions, they’ll focus on their work instead. If they do the breaking up they’re 100% over it and normally want nothing to do with you. They’ll be cold and factual, so best be the same. Either way they’re not the type to get back with an ex.

AQUARIUS: Breakups are usually a long time coming for Aquarius’ - they’re prone to cheating when not in love. They’ll want to avoid conflict. They usually believe in getting under someone to get over someone. Expect rebounds and excessive dating or if it’s the more reserved type they’ll surround themselves with close friends. They won’t want to be alone. They might get back together with an ex, but it would take a lot of time to get back to being official again.

PISCES: The sign that feels the most has the hardest time with breakups. They can fall into a depressive mindset, they sometimes can barely function. They take a long time to get over things but on the outside they’ll pretend they’re okay. Can be very self destructive during break ups. Almost always take their ex’s back, but only if the ex has proven themselves worthy or wasn’t too bad of a break up.

On My Own (Harry Hook) Part One

“You swore you’d never hurt me.”

“You swore you’d never leave me On My Own.”

Part Two, Part Three


“Y/N Facilier, you sly little guppy you!”

     You laughed as the thick accent filled your head. “Hary Hook,” You greeted, turning to face the young pirate. He held his trademark hook in his left hand, a sword in his belt, and his tricorne hat perched upon his head.

     “The one and only,” he replied, giving you a swift bow. Sometimes this boy was just too much.

     “To what do I owe the pleasure?” You asked, one hand hiding behind your back to slide a golden locket into your back pocket. The locket belonging to the one and only daughter of Ursula, Uma. The brunet pirate let out a chuckle before standing to face you, right hand coming to rest on the hilt of his sword.

     “I’m afraid Uma isn’t too happy with you, Kitten. After all, you did take somethin’ that doesn’t belong to you.” He slurred, strutting over until he was right in front of you. “And that wasn’t very nice.”

     You chuckled as his hook came to gently caress your jaw. “I’d hate to ruin a pretty face like yers. So why don’t ya just fork it over to ol’ Harry, Princess?” He whispered softly, though you could feel the weight of his threat as plainly as the feeling of his cold hook against your skin. But, unfortunately for him, you weren’t one to back down easily.

     “I don’t have the slightest clue of what Ol’ Harry is talking about. I’m Kitten not Princess, remember?,” You replied smoothly, a slight smirk tugging at your lips as you mocked the pirate’s (albeit attractive) accent. You were surprised to see a smirk tugging at his lips as well.

     “Is that so? Then what might this be, hm?” He asked you, using the hook you had been too distracted to notice to slip the necklace out of your pocket and dangle it in front of your face.

     “Gee, how did that get there?” You asked with a mocking gasp. Harry opened his mouth to reply but you cut him off with a swift, “Well, I’d hate to cut this visit short but I really must be going now! Bye, Jerry!” Before placing a kiss on his cheek (to momentarily distract him from the fact you snatched his hat off his head) and running off.

     “It’s Harry!” He called after you, running his fingers through his hair. “Something’s not right…” he mumbled to himself, slowly beginning the trek back to Uma’s ship, feeling the breeze running through his hair. He stopped. There shouldn’t be a breeze running through his hair. His hat would have stopped it. His hat!

     “Why, you little snake! GET BACK HERE WITH MY HAT!”


     “Do you think we’ll ever get off this island?” You asked Harry from where you laid curled up on the deck of Uma’s ship. Harry chuckled, taking your hand that was idly tracing shapes onto his chest and pressing it to his lips.

     “Of course we will, Lass. Uma can do anythin’. She’ll get us off of this bloody island. We’ll rule Auradon someday,” He replied. You frowned slightly.

     “But I don’t want to rule Auradon. It’d become just as bad as the Isle,” you mumbled, staring up at the black sky above you, wishing that for once you could see the moon and the stars.

     Harry chuckled slightly, “You have to be the least ambitious Villain I have ever met,” he teased, rolling over on top of you and tickling at your sides until you were squirming like a worm on a hook.

     “Well at least my goal in life isn’t something like getting my hand eaten by a lazy crocodile like my father,” You teased. You would never let him live down the day he stuck a fish on his hand to try and entice Tick Tock to eat it.

     “No but yer goal could be to grow a mustache like him. It’s already started!” He teased back. You gasped, covering your mouth with your hand.

     “You take that back!”

     “Make me!”


     “Hey, Y/N?” A voice brought you out of your own thoughts. You were alone in your ‘apartment’ after a fight with Harry. He wouldn’t stop bringing up Mal again.

     “Oh hey, Gil. Come on in,” you greeted, smiling at the blond boy. You never had anything against Gil. Despite his father being a pompous airhead, he was a really nice guy, though not the brightest.

     “I need to talk to you. About Harry.” The tone in his voice made you sit your book down, giving him your undivided attention.


     “Kitten, I’m home! Ready to grovel for yer forgiveness!” The pirate called out as he stepped into the apartment. He frowned slightly. He could feel a storm brewing. And not the kind with rain either. The kind that often results in him taking a book or two to the head. He slowly followed a trail of tissues to the bedroom the two of you often shared when he didn’t feel like going back to the ship.

     “Oh no, darlin’ what’s wrong with you?” He cooed as he spotted you hugging your knees on the bed. Hurrying over, he wrapped his arms around you, gently rocking you back and forth, feeling teary eyed himself. You never cried, so on the rare occasion you would, he would end up joining you at the sadness of seeing your tears.

     “Go away, Harry,” You whispered in a cracking voice.

     “Not until you tell me what’s wrong with you. Who hurt my little Kitten, hm?” He quizzed in a soft voice, wiping tears from your cheeks.

     “Go look in a mirror to find out. Or go find that ship captain you sneak off to see,” You seethed, anger replacing sadness as you watched his expression shift from concerned, to confused, to shock and guilt.

     “Now Princess, let me explain,” he started, only to be cut off by you. “Explain what, Harry!? That you’ve been cheating on me with your Captain!?” You yelled, the anger finally pushing itself out of every pore in your body.

     He at least had the decency to keep his mouth shut while you yelled at him. You finally told him how he made you feel when all he could do was complain about Mal leaving, or obsess over Uma’s latest stupid plan to leave the Isle which everyone knew would fail. How worried you would be when he’d come home at odd hours of the night, reeking of booze and perfume.

     But, then he came back at you. Accusing you of spying on him, trying to be his parent instead of his girlfriend, and even having the audacity to accuse you of cheating on him! With Gil of all people!

     And by the time he stormed out of your apartment that night, you both believed you were in the right.


     “On behalf of King Benjamin and Lady Mal, you have hereby been invited to join in the academic year at Auradon Prep,” You read from the scroll, eyes wide in shock. “You mean… I get to leave the Isle? And attend an actual school?” You asked, staring at the smiling man in yellow and blue that had appeared in your apartment.

     You felt like you could burst into tears at the sight of his nod. So you did.


     “I’m going for a walk, Lads,” the brunet pirate called out to the other members of Uma’s crew before strolling off of the ship, pretending he had all the time in the world. Even though he knew he only had about ten minutes left before you left for Auradon.

     He kept to the shadows, leaning against a building nearby while you put your belongings into the trunk of the limousine. Nothing fancy, just a small sack of clothes, including a few choice items gifted to you by a certain pirate. Not that you’d ever admit that to anyone.

     You could feel his gaze on your back so you turned, getting one last look at the brunet boy you still harbored so many feelings for. But, upon meeting your gaze, he turned his head, clenching his jaw tightly.

     You sighed. “Goodbye, Harry Hook.”

     And with that, you took your leave.

A/N: So what do you guys think? Want a part two?