the great tumblr crash

Beauty and the Beast review and rant

So I just got out of Beauty and the Beast. So here my opinion seeing as my family’s reaction is to say “you need to let other people have opinions to.” as they ignore me.

I liked:

The opening scene. In fact it’s one of my favorites. The costumes are divine and the choreography is excellent.

The fight scene. OMG I couldn’t breath during the fight scene, every time I thought I stopped laughing I started again.

That one guy smiling when Madame Garderobe dressed him up. Little things make me happy okay. Leave my nb child alone.

Madame Garderobe. All time fave. She and her husband are adorable and my fave ship in this movie. Audra McDonald should have been cast as Belle. Yes I’m salty but that’s for the next part.

Agatha/the Enchantress. I enjoyed how she kept appearing throughout the film.

Gaston. Gaston is at the bottom of my list of villains  (who I rank by song). But Luke Evans and the ensemble managed to make Gaston’s songs my favorite out of the movie.

Lefou. I will fight people for Lefou. He is my son now. The part in the ending where he gets to dance with another boy made my heart swell.

The jewelry they paired with the yellow dress was so pretty and I’ll take two ear cuffs please.

The Potts. I love how they showed the spell made Mr. Potts forget, but even then it was still farmilar

The spell. Yes 8/10 on the world building. The edits to the spell were👌👌👌

The cast. There are so many talented people and such diverse ages and skin colors and ugh I want that ensemble to show up at my funeral and sing me to eternal rest okay that ensemble needs an award.

Things that make me salty:

Emma Watson. This is gonna take a while. Look Emma I love you okay, you are a great Hermione but as Belle well you were missing a certain je ne sais quoi.

Namely stays. And to anyone who tries to tell me that stays or corsets are antifemist, all I can say is: Do you (expect women to) wear bras every day? Because what Emma Watson was doing was basically running around braless.

Honey every other woman on that set was wearing period accurate clothing right down to the underpinnings and the fact that you had a defined bust instead of a smooth front was very obvious. You stood out and not in a good way.

The yellow dress. *insert long line of expletives* GLITTER GLUE?! AND TEAR OFF SKIRT?? GO SIT IN A CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE!!!!

 *deep breath*

The yellow dress isn’t all bad. It moves beautifully and the color is gorgeous.

But.

I could see the zipper in almost every shot. The neckline didn’t lie right. What fabric did they use for the bodice? (Seriously this looks like the monstrosity The Play Moms tried to force me into back in 5th grade.) The glitter glue was as obvious as the lack of stays; (I don’t even give a shit about the panniers that almost every other woman was wearing; just are you kidding me with the stays.) Especially next to the gorgeous embroidery on pretty much ever other costume. The tiers are the completely wrong era and the the silhouette is ridiculously modern.

And then she rode off in her formal attire. And RIPPED THE SKIRT OFF!!!! I’m sorry but as someone who is personally handstitching an authentic 18th century outfit FUCK YOU DO YOU KNOW THAT’S MONTHS OF WORK??!!!! AND WORTH ABOUT AS MUCH AS BELLE’S ENTIRE HOUSE???!! Belle would have known that. Clothing was handmade and a lot more expensive so formal wear wouldn’t have been worn on a ride through the forest!

you have a movie where every one is gorgeously costumed in fairly accurate garb and then your heroine looks like you bought all her costumes at a Halloween Express. Emma Watsons singing. She’s not bad. But next to everyone one else she’s obviously an amateur  (also her technique made me want to scream. Your mouth needs to be rounded not flattened). Seriously I could have done better. In case you couldn’t tell I wouldn’t have cast Emma as Belle. Nope. Audra is my Belle it is mycanon. That Lumiere and Cogsworth weren’t a couple. Cursed!Mrs.Potts and Chip are gonna give me nightmares just saying. Why was everyone speaking with a British accent? They’re French? In France? Speaking French? Like they didn’t even have her be born in England and move to France nope evidently England conquered France when we weren’t looking and everyone in France now speaks with a British accent. In the end it was an enjoyable movie. I would watch it again. But I’m SO tempted to start doing historical costume out of spite.

the app i used for this kept on crashing unless i merged layers down to a minimum (my layers are too cool i guess) so it’s not as good as i would have done normally but have this D&D Dragonborn character i made a bit ago

(actually this is an older design/sketch i decided to color shhh)

anonymous asked:

Who's Ben Skywalker? And Maura Skywalker?

WHO ARE BEN AND MARA SKYWALKER

WELL

actually I’m acting all shocked that you don’t know but tbh I haven’t even read all of Hand of Thrawn so I’m trash just ignore me.

But anyway I’d written you a whole full length thing and titled it The Tale of Luke and Mara and basically told you literally everything I knew about everything and it was pages long (I’m great I know) but then tumblr crashed five seconds before I published the ask, so I figured this time I’d sensor myself (or try to, at least) for practicality’s sake, you know. 

Anyway, I’ll try to be brief.

Mara Jade was taken from her parents at a very young age by Emperor Palpatine and trained in the Dark Side as his sorta-apprentice cum personal assassin, and by her mid teens was affectionately known as the Emperor’s Hand, extending to wherever the emperor wanted to do his bidding and screw people over. Like this girl was a honed assassin, man. She slayed ‘em, literally. She was/is also really Force-sensitive, and was taught how to use this to her advantage. 

Anyway, Mara’d been assigned to kill off Luke (unbeknownst to Vader, of course, as Sidious is slime and in true Sidious fashion was like “my trash apprentice will try to overthrow me with his son and this just won’t do so better get rid of the son”), and she was in Jabba’s palace disguised as a dancing girl when Luke and co staged their fiasco of a rescue attempt, which to Mara’s surprise they actually pulled off but that’s not the point. Except, a wrench was thrown into Mara’s plans when Jabba refused to take the dancing girls with him on the barge, and for fear of blowing her cover, all she could do was make herself scarce as the heroes were taken “to their deaths”.  

And then, of course, on her way back to rendezvous with the fleet, the Emperor dies. And she feels it. 

It’s kinda sucky.

But in one fell swoop, her whole world, everything that she knew and was loyal to and loved, imploded.

And who, exactly, did the galaxy raise up as the Emperor’s defeater?

Well, poor Luke had no idea that somewhere in the galaxy, Mara was slowly realizing with horror that her life had basically ended and that Luke was to blame, meticulously plotting his painful demise, and the previous command of the emperor’s - “YOU WILL KILL LUKE SKYWALKER” - which we later find out was actually forcefully imprinted into her consciousness, was reinforced by Mara’s own scathing hatred and blame.

Roughly five years later, Mara’s working in the employ of the head of a smuggling gang, Talon Karrde, who’s actually a real bro but anyway I won’t digress, and she’s basically his second in command. Through a series of events that involve Admiral Thrawn the blue skinned art enthusiast Sherlock Holmes in space and his right hand man Captain Paelleon making a deal with a crazy as all heck Dark Jedi named Joruus C’baoth to try to bring back to life the Galactic Empire and basically destroy the New Republic, *takes deep breath*, Mara and Karrde find Luke stuck in the middle of nowhere with a cracked hyperdrive and take him in as their sort-of-prisoner. Well, Mara wants him to be a prisoner, but Karrde insists on treating him as a guest, (as I said, Karrde’s a bro), so she resigns herself to glaring venomously at him only. 

Luke, in true, polite, pleasant Luke fashion, is like “bro, what did I do to piss you off so much, pls tell me so I can apologize” and Mara’s like “stick it up your ass” so Luke’s like “well okay” and spends the rest of the evening frowning up at the ceiling in confusion.

Anyway, Karrde and friends retreat to their hideout on this planet called Myrkyr and then the Imps contact them and ask about the whereabouts of Luke so Karrde lies through his teeth, and meanwhile, Luke escapes and steels one of their parked skiprays, taking to the sky. Mara’s obviously like “SON OF A -” and grabs her blaster and runs after him.

[Spoilers for Thrawn under the cut if you really care]

Keep reading

2014 in a nutshell (or so)
  • everyone becoming smooth as fuck
  • everybody asking what’s gonna be the first meme of 2k14
  • Jennifer Lawrence’s dress at the Gloden Globes Awards meme
  • selfie olympics
  • Frozen invading your dashboard
  • bunch of tumblr viruses appearing from nowhere
  • the gay-ish winter Olympic Games at Sochi
  • flappy bird
  • no more flappy bird
  • Supernatural fandom still has a gif for absolutely everything
  • thousand of new versions of flappy bird
  • Leonardo still haven’t got his oscar
  • “blood orange—"no shut up it’s fucking red.
  • Pizza boy deserving an oscar for keeping it cool at the oscars and petition for him to have his own fandom
  • Gay marriage now legal in England 
  • you see, it’s a metaphor…
  • Ellen Page comes out as gay
  • elmo from hell
  • Eurovision
  • Angry luigi
  • hail hydra
  • None pizza with left beef
  • AND EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN METAPHOR
  • #is this an example or a reaction? Yes
  • talk dirty to me
  • The Great Tumblr Crash Of June 2014
  • “Women are hard to animate” also known as the big drama about Ubisoft
  • Dude yes. Dude no.
  • i came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.
  • 4chan bullshit
  • 2014 FIFA World Cup
  • Dashcon aka for 17,00$ we’ll offer you 1 extra hour in the ball pit
  • baby meme aka “I…I….i….” “What is it baby? I love you?” “I don’t understand from where this is coming from”
  • text post meme
  • #ASL Icebucketchallenge
  • Leaked nudes
  • iPhone 6 flip flop
  • Steal Its Look meme
  • Skeletoon war
  • PLUTO IS BACK AMONG THE OFFICIAL PLANets YEAH
  • Green butt plug Christmas tree destroyed
  • pregnant meme
  • [clenches fists]
  • Alex from target
  • transparent dashboard
  • starter packs meme
  • when mom isn’t home
  • ebola
  • ferguson
  • frog meme
  • i crave that mineral goat meme
  • aesthetic
  • everybody asking what’s gonna be the last meme of 2k14
  • caramel the vampire
  • iggy azalea interview meme
  • leelah alcorn

ok  it’s only been a day since the great FINAL CRASH uprising of my tumblr, so today I spent some time practicing drawing Aeris and Crash using references, but since i haven’t finished them yet I believe I should offer a sacrifice to the crowds… um take this I guess

anonymous asked:

What is a tumbeast?

i’m just going to start this off by saying that even when i just read the word “tumbeast” i became so irrationally angry and that’s not even a joke im sadly 100% serious

let’s talk about those fucking green turds

something that i find incredibly shocking is that not everyone on tumblr remembers the (INCREDIBLY LONG) period where tumblr would crash frequently. by “frequently” i mean at least once a day. if u got through a fucking day w/o tumblr crashing it was a goddamn miracle. i probably saw this fucking screen 3 times a day for like 6 fucking months. let’s not even talk about the Great Crashes where tumblr would be down for over 6 hours at a time.

in early 2011 (late january), tumblr tried to make their total incompetence and lack of server power relative to their rapidly increasing user base more ““fun”” and “”quirky”” by changing the error screen that would appear to users when tumblr shut down. 

and that’s where the tumbeasts (drawn by popular webcomic artist The Oatmeal) came in.

now to be fair, at that time, tumblr was a small, mostly privately-managed microblogging platform. so server overflow was to be expected. but honestly, it went on for way too long and happened way too frequently to be excusable. 

the first time these little guys popped up, i was amused. but every. single. fucking. time. they appeared on my fucking computer screen i hated them a little bit more.

i should mention at this point that there was at least one incident where tumblr was down for over 24 hours. and every. single. fucking. time. that you refreshed, praying that maybe you would be rewarded by the Vengeful Staff Gods for the 40 seconds u patiently waited before smashing the refresh button over and over like an animal, these sloppy piles of diarrhea would greet u just to remind u that u were still in hell and still inexplicably bound to the shambling corpse of a terrible website that would never get better

RIP in pieces