the grain of truth

There were bug bites all over my thighs, giant spots of red and angry, and I was hurting so badly I could hardly breathe. I winced and writhed like a child as you calmly listened to my frustration building in waves.

in a moment of blinding pain I remembered a technique I’d picked up as a child of focusing on different sensations to distract from pain of sprained ankles and stomach aches. I would drum my fingers against my arms, hit my forehead with the back of my hand, run cold water over my feet, and by luck or force of will or some genuine grain of truth in the poorly remembered advice, some secret magic, I learned to clench my jaw through anything.

‘does this feel better?’ I heard you ask in hardly more than a whisper, your fingers tracing the outline of where my tangled hair met my forehead. Front and back, side to side, over and over and over. I could only nod absently, focusing what will I had left on the movement of your hand over me, the way you smoothed out my creases, sunlight over a stormy sea. back and forth, slower now.  

and as I focused all I had on that simple motion, the agony my legs soon seemed to me like a distant lighthouse burning through night fog, present but hardly perceptible until I could hardly remember what it felt like. and maybe it didn’t sound anything like he coping mechanisms my therapist taught me but that was but i can pinpoint down to the moment when i started seeing a light at the end of this tunnel. 

3

YOU GUYS CHRIS AND SCARLETT… Idk about you all but Im about to do backflips here!!! I know, I know…it’s just tabloids blah blah rumours…but my inner shipper heart is gonna come out and fangirl at this!!! Enjoy this wonderful grain of evansson salt ;)

Hey so, I know you aren’t allowed to question people on here about ethnicity and such, but people aren’t above lying about their heritage and experiences in order to get away with really awful behavior.  If they’re saying or doing something racist/abusive/etc. you don’t have to back off just because they claim to be a marginalized person because the behavior is still wrong.  

2

Urban legends are as popular as ever, but the majority of the scary stories you’ve heard at sleepovers are based on at least a small grain of truth. One such tale that might have kept you awake at night is The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs, which tells of a young child-minder’s gruesome encounter with a crazed stalker. There are many adaptions of this 1960′s legend, with the general story line being that the babysitter receives several creepy phone calls from a man who keeps telling her to check on the children. Terrified, she calls the police who trace the call to the upstairs bathroom of the house. When the intruder is finally arrested, he has slaughtered all three children. While spine-tingling, you may be intrigued to know that this fictional story came from the very real murder of 15-year-old Janett Christman in 1950.

Janett was babysitting 3-year-old Gregory Romack at his home on West Boulevard and Stewart Road in Columbia, Missouri. At around 1:30 a.m, while Gregory was sleeping, and intruder entered through his bedroom window and proceeded to the downstairs living room where he raped, strangled and stabbed Janett. The crime scene was utterly horrific: the bottom picture is one of the less bloody photographs. Although a garden hose left outside was used to break the window, forensic investigators reported that the furniture and light fixtures near the window were totally undisturbed, making it impossible for him to have entered that way. This is likely to infer that the murderer attempted to make it look like the house had been broken into, when in reality, Christman probably opened the front door for someone she knew.

This case remains unsolved, with it’s prime suspect passing lie detector tests and successfully suing the police for his detainment.

A piece of advice for parents of kids whose disabilities are starting to become apparent.

You’re probably going to have to deal with a lot of people who don’t respect your relationship to your child very much. You know a lot about your kid, and you’re probably going to have to deal with a lot of people who treat you like nothing you have to say matters.

You’re also probably going to have to deal with well-meaning people who say things like “you’re the expert on your kid!!!”. This sentiment can be affirming in some ways when people aren’t taking you seriously, but it can also be toxic.

Taken literally, “you’re the expert on your kid” isn’t true — and it doesn’t need to be. Even aside from disability, kids are complicated. No parent understands everything about their kid. Every parent faces confusing situations, and every parent makes mistakes. Parenting kids with disabilities tends to mean being confused more of the time. That’s ok. You don’t need to be a perfect expert on your kid. It’s both impossible and unnecessary.

There will be times when you have absolutely no idea. When your kid is struggling and you don’t know why, and strategies you’re trying aren’t working. When that happens, you’re still your kid’s parent, and the relationship still matters. You’re not going to be an expert on every aspect of your kid at all times, and that’s ok.

Sometimes when you don’t know what to do, others have useful ideas. It’s worth being aware that good strategies tend to get developed in silos. If you’re only looking in one context, it’s worth trying more. For instance, there are things medical/therapy professionals often know, things adult activists living with the same disability often know, things teaches often know, and so on. It can also be worth looking outside of your child’s disability group — resources intended for one disability are often helpful for another, and groups don’t always talk to each other.

(This goes double if your child is autistic. Nothing disabling about autism is completely unique to autism; all of it’s shared with some other disabilities. Resources associated with other conditions are often better (and less behaviorist.).

All that said — you will probably face situations in which none of that helps. Sometimes you’ll seek out all kinds of perspectives and still find that nothing you’re aware of helps enough. When that happens, you may attract people who give you a lot of bad advice loudly. When you’re worried, it can be hard not to believe people who yell at you and tell you that they are experts.

Don’t get psyched out by professionals who try to convince you to stop thinking for yourself. They’re good at sounding right in intimidating ways. They often do not actually know what they are talking about. And ultimately, you are your kid’s parent, and all parents are clueless sometimes, all parents make mistakes, and you and your child are allowed to be human.

Similarly, as your child grows up, they will grow apart from you in some ways. That’s how kids are, and that’s part of how maturity works. Teenagers do things that their parents don’t understand. All the more so, adults do things that their parents don’t understand. Even in childhood, no one can really be a complete expert on another human being. Disability doesn’t change that. It’s not going to be possible to be an expert on your kid, and that’s ok. They’re a person, and so are you.

Tl;dr “You are the expert on your kid” is too much pressure. There’s a grain of truth, but it doesn’t reflect reality — and it doesn’t need to. There are a lot of unsolved problems in disability support — and in any case, no human being can really be an expert on someone else.

I am just going to put this out there. While I have had moments of anxiousness and been more critical lately, we have 10 episodes, and most likely 9 weeks left of Once Upon a Time this season, and I for one want spend it with joy and excitement. For me, I am treating this as the end. Best case scenario, we get another season with much of the cast back, and next best case we get Jen and Colin back and perhaps a few others. But we just don’t know yet. While there may be some grain of truths over those rumors on twitter, by their estimations , only Colin and Lana would return next season. And I’m sorry but that is laughable. I told my mom who is as GA as you get and she laughed and said “what even would they do together,” and I replied “exactly.” Emma and Killian are a package deal, and I truly believe ABC knows that and A&E, Jen and Colin do as well. Emma’s happy ending is what is most important and I do not believe any of the above would jeopardize that, especially because in what world would that gain favor with GA viewers they hope to retain. It wouldn’t. Plain and simple. I want to give a shout out to @lizacstuff @tlynnwords and @counttotwenty for answering questions like pros with positiviity and patience. You girls are rocks stars!!

So, as I said. We have quite possibly only 9 weeks left of this show and these characters. If this the end, then the only ones I am really disappointed in are ABC, who for all intents and purposes have treated the show very well these past 6 seasons and seem to be dropping the ball here at the end. But we’ll see. But most importantly, I do not want to spend these last few months nitpicking, complaining, worrying about plot points, whether this or that will happen, or contracts negotiations. If you want to that’s fine. You do you. You blog and handle this any way that works for you. But I want to enjoy what might be the last months for our beloved characters. Once Upon a Time, the fandom, and specifically the CS love story and CS fandom truly changed my life in ways I will never be able to fully express. It inspired me so much personally and creatively. It helped me grow as a writer and an artist. Believe it or not, It helped shape who I am as a person. I can honestly can I think I am a better person than I was when I started the show. And it brought me so many wonderful friends, who I hope remain as such long after the show is off the air. If you, like me, want to fully enjoying what has enriched our lives in immeasurable ways, please join me in celebrating this amazing story we all dearly love while we can. We will know what the future holds when they decide to tells us. In the meantime, I want to express my love and gratitude to the show and everyone here for bringing so much into my life. Whether the Captain Swan story and happy ending concludes this season or next, it will undoubtedly only be joyful and beautiful and something that will last forever on film and in our hearts.

You are, you are, all the wonder in the world

Request: College klance where Keith is like bullied or something in some way gets incredibly hurt and acts like nothing is wrong but it keeps getting worse and worse and Well my boy lance is super worried

Summary: Keith keeps getting hurt. And every time he does he insists the same thing: ‘I’m fine.’ ‘It’s nothing I swear, Lance.’ ‘I can handle this myself.’ But how many times is Lance supposed to accept the lie? Brush off his worries and patch up Keith’s wounds? How many times does he have left before Keith gets so hurt he can never stand back up again?

P.S. I finally discovered how to make words italic after two goddamn years on this website.


The first time, Lance let it drop. Chose to believe Keith’s words and bury his worry, whittle away the time until Keith was willing to talk. He wasn’t badly injured. Lance was safe to wait a while.


‘Hey, Keith? That you, babe? I thought you were gonna be back an hour..-‘ Lance paused, head hanging around the doorframe, eyes popped and mouth drawn wide. ‘-…ago..’

Keith was limping. One foot steady, the other hobbled, he inched his way through the door with a face like thunder and a greeting to match.

‘Don’t ask, not talking,’

‘..Okay,’ Lance sung, spinning his heels to follow Keith’s figure as it passed towards the bathroom. Lance’s eyebrows raised in question as he noticed the backpack usually slung haphazard across Keith’s back, now clutched tight to his chest, protected. ‘Well.. when you get done with whatever emo shit you’re doing in there, I’m ordering pizza,’

Keith’s voice clamoured around the clang of the door in the frame. ‘Not hungry - order without me,’

‘What?! Keith - you’ve been looking forwards to pizza night all week!’

‘Have not.. Still not talking, Lance,’

‘You said - and I quote - ‘I would die before I miss pizza night, these midterms are kicking my ass, and I need the cheesy sustenance to live’,’

A grinding crash echoed from the closed bathroom door, eliciting a yelp from Lance’s lips. Twisting the knob, he pushed into the room, eyes scanning the entrance in search of the source, and found to his horror, Keith splayed out on the floor in a pile of books, muddied beyond all saving or repair.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I remember your 5/20/80 rule and it was an awesome post to put perceived vocal audiences into perspective. I wonder if you'd be willing to revisit that idea from a different angle. Let's say the playerbase actually wanted to gain the ear of you/a gamedev to get something changed. What would be a meaningful way to get that to happen? I'm sure writing an angry message on my exit survey when I unsubscribe wouldn't be on the top of the list. Is there a way?

Sure there is. Devs love getting feedback, but we often have to sift the useful stuff from stuff that isn’t particularly useful. That’s one of the reasons we hire community managers. So here are some guidelines to making your feedback useful to us. Some of this might feel a bit counter-intuitive, but I guarantee you that this sort of feedback is the most useful to us.

#1. Speak for yourself

Don’t spend time telling us what the majority of our fans think. You really don’t speak for them and we have the data to prove it. But that’s ok! You don’t have to speak for everybody. Just tell us what you think. Believing you represent everybody else might make you feel like it carries more weight, but it really doesn’t unless you really do represent everybody. You’re already posting on a forum or social media or whatever, which already statistically excludes you from representing everybody. So just tell us what you think. I promise that we’ll listen.

#2. Speak honestly. Avoid hyperbole.

No, this feature did not give you cancer. No, this weapon is not the worst in the game. No, that other class is not our favorite pet class and we do not give them everything they ever wanted. The problem with parsing hyperbole is that it is basically hiding a grain of truth inside a ball of lies. When we have to sift out truth from the lies around it, it makes us grumpy.

#3. Speak about problems. Don’t propose solutions.

Players giving feedback often skip straight to their own proposed solutions and it doesn’t help very much. It isn’t that players who give feedback are bad or stupid - most of the hardcore players who provide feedback are very smart and analytical. The problem is that their proposed solutions often lack crucial context to make an informed decision. You don’t know the limitations we have to work within or the resources we have available. Just because some other game did it doesn’t mean we can do it too. It’s really hard for someone to come up with a feasible solution without knowing all of that information. Just tell us what you don’t like, why you don’t like it, and leave the solutions to us. We made the rest of the game, after all. Give us a little faith.

#4. Speak to a comrade, not an enemy

Remember that we all have something in common - we all like and believe in the game. We all want what’s best for it. Lashing out in anger isn’t going to make us more likely to do what you say. Threats are also not going to work. Threats to quit especially don’t work - the actual rate at which people who threaten to quit and follow through is so miniscule that it is almost unnoticeable. We are not trying to kill your family or destroy everything you hold dear. We want what you want - what’s best for the game. We are not your enemy, even if there are choices we made that you don’t agree with. We know that not everyone will agree with every decision we make, but nobody reacts favorably to being called names and told they’re stupid or incompetent.

#5. Speak with brevity

Refrain from posting enormous dissertations. Keep it simple and short. If you cannot explain the problem with a handful of sentences, you probably haven’t isolated it. This point tends to be related to #3 - usually, articulating a problem isn’t that difficult to get across in a sentence or three. It’s the solutions that tend to require a lot of explanation. Here’s the biggest issue with walls of text - the feedback will be distilled down by the community managers for the devs anyway. They’ll condense it all down to a list of bullet points and give it to us. So why not cut out the middle man and make it easier on them? They’ll certainly be happier if you do them the courtesy. 

#6. Speak without expectations

There is nothing you can do to guarantee that we will do what you say. You cannot argue us into doing what you want. You cannot force us to do what you want. You cannot “logic” your way into doing what you want. It is very likely that we won’t always acknowledge you individually, because there’s so many of you for each one of us on the forums that it’s just not particularly feasible. Also, don’t take dev or official responses to indicate the only posts we’re reading. The feedback that gets collected and passed on to us isn’t only gathered from those posts that garner official responses. The majority of the useful feedback won’t ever get an official response -most of us believe that the best way to acknowledge your feedback is to through the game itself (even though it is likely that changes are weeks if not months away… patches need to pass testing and cert, after all). 

And that’s basically it. I know that the fans that engage with the game’s community and developers are super passionate and only want what they feel is best for the game. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t reach out. Believe me when I say that we devs feel the same way. Please believe me when I say that well-written, concise, and honest feedback is far more likely to reach us than anything else. I swear that’s the best way to get your feedback heard and considered.


Got a burning question you want answered?

A few thoughts after today's shit show:

First, this is just a friendly reminder that you do not owe these boys anything! We all spend our free time here because we love them, but we all need to remember that our mental health comes first. If the latest round of interviews (Dick Wattpad) has upset you, please take a step back and do something else with your time! Read a book (or fanfic), paint, play an instrument, bake some cupcakes, take a bubble bath, whatever you need to do to unwind. Liam and Zayn will still be here regardless of your personal involvement, and I guarantee that they would want you to take care of yourself.

Second: Don’t be afraid to think for yourself; your instincts are usually right. If something about a situation seems wrong, it probably is! I know it’s difficult to listen to lies coming from our boys in print and in person, and it may be really easy to take them at face value. However, as with everything surrounding this band, nothing is as it seems. A comment in an interview cannot erase the YEARS of history these boys have, just like reminiscing about a relationship and a child cannot erase the ridiculously shady circumstances behind them. We know these boys have been forced to push lies in the past, and we have no evidence that things have changed for ANY of them (all of OT5 is still trapped, regardless of what they say about being “free”). Use your head and call them on their BS. Also, if you do acknowledge that Liam’s comments about Zayn seem odd, maybe you should check into the legitimacy of the rest of the interview. (Dick Wattpad always pushes official narratives, so maybe you can pick out his priorities from that interview).

Third: I’ve been saying this for this whole radio tour, but it’s worth repeating. Liam Payne is an excellent liar. He is fully training to deal with the press and he has had years of experience to perfect pushing the official narrative. Liam saved 1D from embarrassment time and time again in interviews. So, why are people surprised that he is so good at convincing people of a narrative that is favorable to Simon and company? He smiles a lot and moves his hands and talks really fast, and tries to end on an emotional note to distract people into cooing or laughing with him. It’s all about misdirection. Has anyone stopped to wonder why Liam, who is on a radio tour to promote his upcoming album, has spent almost no time actually talking about his music? Maybe it’s because the entire point of his current stuntlationship is to promote a certain washed up girlbander with a nasty past who has convenient ties to good ol Simon, and who is probably going to be working on some music of her own in the near future. What better way to break into uncharted territory (the United States) than to ride on the coat tails of an attractive young singer who is destined for great things.

In conclusion, take care of yourself. Think for yourself. Take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t let current disappointments distract you from the truth.

Oh and buy Strip That Down! Liam isn’t responsible for his nasty narrative; we all know he loves Zayn more than anyone.

Vereena
“Slim. Dark. She rarely speaks, and in a language I don’t know. She doesn’t eat human food. She disappears into the forest for days on end, and then comes back. Is that typical?”
-A Grain of Truth by Andrzej Sapkowski

Spoilers for the Witcher short story, A Grain of Truth are below and in the tags so be careful. That said, the truth about Vereena is not the best part of that short story or the most important revelation. 

Keep reading

Does comfort with language and speaking help determine who ends up autistic and who ends up a cousin?

I recently had a chance to interact with a mix of neurodivergent autistic and non-autistic people in person, and it was fascinating. The non-autistic people had an interesting mix of ADHD, mental illnesses, and miscellaneous other unspecified brain things.

There were some interesting similarities. First, everyone was highly aware of the need to make everyone else comfortable. They asked about pronouns, they explicitly asked for feedback on their own communication (”am I talking too much?”), and gave explicit positive feedback to other people. I never see groups of neurotypicals showing such concern for others, awareness that different people communicate differently, or willingness to talk explicitly about the interaction. Everyone had some sort of processing issue, so bringing them up was a non-issue. (All of these things made me feel much more comfortable!)

The differences were even more interesting. Not the ones a neurotypical clinician would expect, like the non-autistic people making a little more eye contact and smiling a little more often. There was a huge, obvious difference between the autistic and non-autistic people in the room in how much and how quickly they talked.

The non-autistic people talked a lot, whether or not they were anxious. When they talked, they spoke fairly quickly and confidently. The process of turning their thoughts into words and speaking didn’t seem difficult for them. The autistic people in the group were very quiet. They rarely spoke, and when they did, they said fewer words, talked more slowly, and sometimes said they were having difficulty speaking.

I’ve noticed before that the autistic bloggers I follow are much more likely than the other neurodivergent folks to talk about having difficulty speaking. Listening seems to be a more universal issue–I have auditory processing difficulties and so do other non-autistic neurodivergent people I’ve interacted with. (In fact, one of the things that probably confuses and annoys people most about me is that under stress, I can still talk in a way that makes sense, but I can’t really understand what anyone is saying accurately–although I might think I still can).

But it’s one thing comparing how people talk about their experiences, and another to actually see how they interact in person. The difference in difficulty speaking was even more striking when I saw it in person.

I’ve noticed a lot of commonalities between my brain and that of my autistic friends and family.  What they say about sensory processing, feeling other people’s emotions, getting “too excited” about special interests, liking explicit communication, clumsiness, viewing certain social rituals as pointless, and feeling like an outsider describes me, too. But I ended up developing in a different direction–with nonverbal learning disability, and interaction as one of my least weak nonverbal skills. And I’ve wondered what caused that difference for a long time.

This meeting confirms my hypothesis that I developed differently socially because language and speaking have come naturally to me from an early age. It’s easier to cover over awkwardness or pretend to be neurotypical if you can talk fluently. Being able to speak and write fluently helps you figure out your brain and explain it to others, and also helps you ask other people about their experiences so you can compare. 

There are other things that help me socially too–like a special interest in people’s minds, a habit of mentally projecting myself into real people or characters’ situation and imagining how I’d think/feel/act, and demographic variables (gender, race, appearance, etc.). But I’m aware of autistic people who have the same traits.  So I think ease of thinking in words and speaking was the main reason why my autistic friends/family and I come off as awkward in such different ways.

(I also think there’s a grain of truth to the stereotype that people with ADHD are outgoing and talk a lot, while autistic people are quiet and introverted. What’s your experience been with that?).

Know what I think about sometimes? How in The Road to El Dorado, how that story of Tulio, Miguel and Chel gets passed on, fades into legend and myth and becomes a bedtime story. How a grain of truth remains in the tale. 

The story of the sun god, the night lord, their guide and diviner, their magical beast. How the sun god was warmth and light, who brought with him music, the night lord, who showed them their might, called forth and withdrew the rumble of the earth, and who fell in love with one of their own - the temple priestess who guided them to the city. Of their beast, who blended into the walls, was playful, who understood speech and expressed his love and devotion to his masters.

How they were here but a short breath of time, a blink of an eye that the gods stretched into an eternity, a moment of bliss, perfect harmony in everyone’s hearts. Everyone’s but a high priest, who’s heart was filled with darkness and who doubted the gods. Who dabbled with magic, called forth demons and drew the attention of the Outside. 

(How the sun god had wanted, desperately, to stay - where the night lord fell in love with one mortal, the sun god fell in love with them all and was willing to give up his immortality and live among them.) 

They had stood, these gods of old, against the Other and the Outside, and the gods had realised they could only defeat them together - and they had used their might and their cunning and the light in their hearts to move the waters and the rocks - and had returned home to the spirit world (the blessed, loved priestess going with them, now immortal herself), and closed the door to the outside forever. El Dorado, safe for all eternity.

Just something I think about. Every time I watch it.

sunsetconcert  asked:

I forget if you've answered this before, but: How exactly do fairy tales work in the world of EU? Are they just stories, or are there any grains of truth in them?

They’re stories; there’s no ‘just’ about it. They’re advice and history and warnings all at once, and knowing the paths other people have walked through the Elsewhere will serve you well.

anonymous asked:

I was reading a post recently saying that if your cat or dog drinks antifreeze than alcohol(not pure rubbing alcohol I assume) will stop the acidification of organs and save your pet. Is this true?

There is a tiny grain of truth in there, but it’s a whole lot more complicated than that.

The toxic component of antifreeze is ethylene glycol. It’s metabolites have multiple toxic effects and it’s metabolism. It’s metabolism through the liver is complicated.

All metabolites of antifreeze have toxic effects.

  • Ethylene glycol causes central nervous system depression, euphoria and increased serum osmolarity.
  • Glycoaldehyde and Glycoxylate can inhibit the Krebs cycle, that thing mitochondria do to generate cellular energy.
  • Glycolate causes renal failure and acidosis
  • Oxalate aculumation in the kidney can also cause permanent renal failure.

So with all this badness, where does ethanol (drinking alcohol) come in?

Ethanol is preferentially acted upon by alcohol dehydrogenase. This means that if you have both ethanol and ethylene glycol present, alcohol dehydrogenase will spend more time acting on the ethanol. This slows down the rate that ethylene glycol is turned into its other toxic metabolites.

Because a relatively small amount of ethylene glycol is getting metabolised at one time, the other enzymes in the chain can keep up with the pace, so the most toxic metabolites don’t accumulate in super high levels before being excreted as calcium oxalate.

However, this means two things:

  • If you give ethanol 18 hours after ingestion of antifreeze, you actually make everything worse
  • Treatment with ethanol requires you to induce alcohol poisoning for about two days.

A single shot of vodka isn’t going to cut it. We usually have these dogs on intravenous fluids to keep them hydrated whilst giving ethanol in hospital (we use vodka) because these animals are often nearly comatose.

We are inducing one type of poisoning to protect against another.

And for what I hope is obvious reasons, do not try this at home.

The Easiest Way To Win The Next American Presidential Election, It’s Practically A Cheat Code

I’ve been thinking a lot about the progressives who HAVE taken my state my storm, namely, Bill Clinton and Huey Long. Both have their problems, but bear with me. I’ve lived here the overwhelming majority of my life, so I know these people. I can’t escape them.

All these pieces about sympathizing with poor Southern voters? Really smooth over the broad details and end up coming off as insulting–but they have a single grain of truth to it. Southerners have pride and toughness that’s infamous, and likely due to our majority Scots-Irish stock. And they see a hypocrisy about our side that is a STONE COLD TRUTH: that we talk about equality and not judging people and helping the historically downtrodden, but the minute most Northern Democrats hear a southern accent? Assume the speaker is dumb as shit. People with heavy Southern accents are definitely discriminated against in higher-paying jobs, even sometimes the South itself. 

NOW DON’T YOU BITCHES DARE TRY TO PULL SOME OPPRESSION OLYMPICS HYPOCRISY ON ME ISTG, I have a degree in Sociology and will drag the fuck out of you. I said nothing to compare it to any other group. And here’s the thing–even though Bernie and others have pivoted and talked about race and stuff less, WE 100% DON’T NEED TO DO THAT. 

Now, we could spend the next upteenth years checking ourselves and not making fun of Southerners, which we will have to do anyway to make it stick–along with being more patient with poor whites who are have informational poverty(seriously, if you live in the Deep South, you may have LEGIT NEVER HEARD a liberal argue EVER because we’re generally scared to here, and access to the internet in rural areas is fucking GARBAGE even when people do have the money–internet is the easiest way to learn in-depth knowledge quickly and relatively cheaply, bar none).

But what will work in the meantime? Have an unapologetically Southern as FUCK Democrat run. Put back the twang he no doubt put away to run for political office. Make him mention how Republicans have pandered uselessly to Southerners then stole food from their children’s mouths, then talk about how he can fix it for everyone. Have a Southern Democrat with the STYLE and FIRE and RIGHTEOUSNESS of as Southern preacher. Hell, if he was a preacher at one time or another, extra points. You could probably even use a black Southern Democrat to do this–Southerners will be tripping over themselves to show that they’re “not racist.” Combine the youth and black vote of Obama with the single-handedly breaking the Southern strategy. It has to be genuine, but more or less the more he lays into it, the more effective it’ll be. He can outright rebuke Trump as the devil in the name of Jesus. He just has to be a relatively clean record that can’t be used against him, a little bit of inexperience like Obama is fine, makes him look like an “outsider.”

If Dems do this a couple of times, I honest-to-god see them able to finally break the Southern strategy. Southerners ONLY want to be acknowledged, and they were so destructively desperate for it that they voted against their actual interests. This is the fucking path forward.

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Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this:
“Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.”

…But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else?

A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die.

Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

Furuta grew up without love, surrounded by the products of Tsuneyoshi’s fucked up harem. The only person who seems to have shown any affection at all for him, as seen in the flashback in this chapter, is Rize. Rize who cared if he died when she ate him. Rize who played with him. Rize, whose fate he was fully aware of. Who he saved, because at some point, or maybe deep down still, he understood that that fate is wrong. She was the only thing he had, and he let her go, for her sake.

In this explanation to Kaneki, he mentions explicitly that as a child, he had these childish ideas of love and marriage in the future for them. Things he gave up for her safety from the men of the main Washuu house.

Even when he’s being crude and creepy, talking about Rize having all of those children for him, he references 101 Dalmatians. A Disney movie. And one with some of the healthiest romances, both between the dogs and the humans.

Even now, he’s looking at a Disney movie where two dogs snuggle each other. Where these two dogs have 15 puppies who they risk their lives to save. And who adopt 84 other puppies who would otherwise be dead. When you think about him as someone who grew up surrounded by who knows how many half-siblings, in the Garden like he did - this is basically him saying he wants a Disney Romance.

Which is not to say that the way he’s speaking isn’t terrible. That the tropes he’s using aren’t horrible and misogynistic. They are. Furuta, as he always has, is falling back on farce and drama, on systems of power that he himself as already explicitly told you he condemns. Furuta switches between honest and lying, between truth and exaggeration, between real emotion and fake dramatic flare over and over.

He speaks in this weird mix between a cynical jaded, crude adult, and a desperate, sad, idealistic, stubborn child. Like with his big speech to Eto about V in 66, I think this chapter he is mixing truth and fiction. Sometimes strategically, sometimes just because.

@linkspooky​ pointed out to me that it almost seems that the more honest he’s being, the less of his face is shown. Times when he’s really approaching sincerity and seriousness, he’s shown from the side.

Where as most of the time, he’s hidden under his flare and his masks and his drama.

Furuta, for all his fake emotion, is clearly uncomfortable with the real thing. Uncomfortable when people make him feel things and uncomfortable expressing emotion. Uncomfortable and unskilled and really parsing it.

Instead, he falls back on theatre and performance and lies.

When he says he couldn’t bare the thought of her having a kid after being free for so long… was he talking (just) about jealousy, or was he talking about the fact that the CCG, and thus V, was gaining on her - had almost captured her in the 6th ward and gotten Shachi in the struggle, and was well on their way to tracking her down again? Was he talking about not wanting her to be free, or about after all that time, still not being able to accept the idea of her being recaptured by V and used by the Washuu men like that.

He used her too, of course - and brutally. I think he was mad at her not only for wasting the freedom he helped her win, for almost getting caught again - but also because he still cares. And he doesn’t want to still care about her. So he punished her for his own feelings. Furuta is… not a fan of his own feelings. And he’s childish.

Its not an excuse for what he did to her, but I do think he acted when he did, if not the way he did, because if he hadn’t, there was a very real chance she’d have returned to her old fate. And that, he could not abide. Even now.

What he did, to Rize, in taking her power and undergoing that surgery himself, in killing off all the Washuu, taking leadership of the CCG - he gives multiple reasons for it even in this one conversation with Kaneki. On the one hand, in his proposal to Kaneki, he sets up a clear role for himself - as a villain to unite ghouls and humans against (Kaneki’s team, rather than the CCG and Clowns in this case) and introduces it as a big production, culminating in his own, rather than Kaneki’s death - ever suicidal as he is.

But explicitly, he also claims that people don’t need reasons for what they do. He also claims that he is doing what he wants to do, and that he is doing what he wanted to do as a child.

I think all of these have a grain of truth to them. He talks in such a way that mixes narratives, mixes truth and fiction, and sometimes just because its easier to talk with (half)fake emotion than real ones.

I think that Furuta, the nearly 6 year old child wants to destroy the toxic terrible “family” that used and abused him, and create in its place a 101 Dalmations style family, with him and Rize as Pongo and Perdita. A big loving, new Washuu family. This part of Furuta doesn’t care about ghouls or humans or Kaneki Ken or Eto Yoshimura or any of that at all.

But Furuta is also an adult, and became one probably much too quickly, if he knew what awaited Rize and helped her escape because if it. And the Adult Furuta knows he can’t have any of that. That Rize forgot about him and doesn’t love him back and that he burned that bridge by dropping those beams. His children with her are going to be via Kanou. Anything new will be born from death and fire and war. Adult Furuta has plans. Adult Furuta wants.…something… out of all of this. Some grand finale.

Part of Furuta is still that child - still wants Rize to come back to him and love him and play with him (and maybe kill him). Wants a big happy Disney ending for them. But he also knows he can never really have that. He’s known that he could never have that, because of how he was born. That’s the irony of that line, about the life he has and how he might as well. Because he was born to NEVER get what he wanted, ever. (And yet - and yet he fights back - viciously and endlessly and savagely, despite being born only to serve.) Because he has grown up now, and he’s done terrible things, and he knows that that happiness is impossible. But he’s also 6 years old and desperate and lonely.

I personally have thought for a long time that Rize is being set up as the one who will kill Furuta. I just hope (though I don’t necessarily expect) that they will get a chance to talk before it happens, or when he’s dying, or something. A chance for him to thank her for finally killing him, after all this time. A chance for him to say sorry, or not to - to say he’s glad he did it if it ended there, with him dying in her arms.

I still don’t think Furuta thinks any way about women, in general, though I understand why people see this pattern. It’s certainly a power structure highlighted by his character, either way. I think he probably has a good deal of the background misogyny of the culture and of the Washuu clan in his upbringing, but he also has a deep seeded hatred for everything about that upbringing. His understanding of things is so twisted and bent around this terrible place he was raised in, and the world he was forced to live in, that its honestly a miracle he’s still fighting for something different.

But Furuta sees every structure as a farce, as a mask, as a tool, rather than a truth. And he plays with these tropes of misogyny and discards them just as quickly. He’s making himself out to be a villain, to be crude, to be cruel. And it’s no excuse for his actions - for the very real fate Rize suffered at his hands. But he deals with Matsumae as a failed knight and a hypocrite, not as a woman. He plays with misogyny and its masks and its power system when he’s mock-flirting with Eto, but the next second he throws it away. He has no regard for masculinity or its virtues. Its a game to him. And that is a nasty and dangerous way to look at a very serious thing. Which is a great metaphor for Furuta who sees farce in everything. And is setting up a grand theater with all of Tokyo as its stage, possibly to write his own death into the final act.

“When I unveil this, won’t you come play with me?” He knows what Kaneki wants. He knows who Kaneki will save. He knows who Kaneki will kill. He still wants to die, and he seems to like the idea of dying to make things better, in a sense. And still, he’s speaking like a child. Come play, Kaneki. 

“Doesn’t it make you want to die?
If you die, you can get cured you know. (This is true.)



So if you were planning on giving me something.
In this year, I want four times more of that love or hate.



PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)” [x]