the gothmothers

The portrait I had commissioned a few years ago seems like the correct thing to use for the big “describe me in bad fanfic” post! You people are delightful.

From Anon:

Fanfic description: she was hardcore, like really hardcore, with pink and black hair that flowed from her head like a spooky river. Her clear bright eyes were rimmed in black makeup like a really hardcore vampire queen. Her clothes were also hardcore

From ravenaxx 

The fairy gothmother had very pointy witchy hat upon her black locks with 2 very pink streaks on either side of her head She was soaked in black clothing, her petticoats reaching the 7th circle of hell and her winklepickers were pointy enough to kill.

From Anon:

The goffik kween of goffikness. Peeple all over marveled at her beauty as she spread the goffik word all through out the ungof land. (I was trying to go for a “My Immortal” feel, but I’m 99% sure I failed miserably. Sorry.)

From @hermitjesty

Bad fanfic description ahoy: “She shook her flowing locks, the color of ravens’ wings and cotton candy. Her eyes sparkled with a mischievous gleam behind her diamond-shaped spectacles (only the best in designer witchwear for Jillian Venters).”

From annabellioncourt

“There she was, the queen. And not one of those ugly queen type things either, like, she was evil, but she wasn’t mean about it. She was a witch two and a vampire but she didn’t need to drink blood because that was messy and she was magic. The fairy godmother queen had come to help the goth princes and princes” (it hurt me to write like 12 year old me, but it was fun.)

From Anon:

She was like goth but like even more so. You could totally hear Sisters of Mercy when she entered a room, even when it wasn’t playing. She was just like black on black on black with a vicious shock of pink that made the black so much blacker.

From thejackalsdance

(Really bad fanfic description) She had an amazing wardrobe that was put to shame by the extra amazingness of her personality. She had as black as the ink a Romantic poet from years past would write with (or perhaps spill on their letters by mistake after too much melodramatic pining.) Her hair also had pink streaks in it, the kind of pink you get when you accidentally throw a new red washcloth in with the whites on laundry day.

From whitexblackrose

For the fan fiction thing: “Not many knew this, but Dracula had a little sister. A bubbly woman who used her inhuman paleness to her advantage. It made him cringe for when she visited, he found his castle refurnished with pink velvet and black lace.”