the good kind of dirty

OMG. That translation challenge has created a monster! I can’t stop!

I was speaking with @dipsykoo and translated that same passage to Chinese (which I will be very quick to say is not his dialect - he speaks Taiwanese but sadly google does not offer that as a translation option). But what it came back with is pure gold! Enjoy:

Shepard tried to come up with a little tip. How Katy forgot about his rubber duck, and even what kind of a dirty boy he needs, is a good scrub. The word was caught in the throat. Suddenly, his fall feeling swept him. Fall into his desperate need of arms. Behind the gravity of reality, he will make himself forget.

Katain’s face also fell - though his eyebrows were worried. “Hey,” he said, rising from the water. He stood two steps before Shepherd, naked. Gently resting his hands on Shephard’s arms. “a terrible day?”

8

modern disney aesthetic
↳ aladdin

The Sexual Awakening of An Innocent Pureblood, Dating The Randy Prat Who Lived - Ch. 21

After the tumult of last weekend, @l0vegl0wsinthedark and I  thought–wow, yay, let’s have them fight some more because that’s awesome!!

HAHA. No, this is just smut. Harry has been randy for a long time, folks, and jfc if he hasn’t lucked into the most eager and adaptable and curious innocent pureblood ever.

So anyway, you can imagine what it must be like for Harry to have to suddenly go away on business.  Which brings us to… This. *raises eyebrows at all of you*

For those who are just joining us, or feel like catching up,  our master list can be found here: masterlist

And now, @l0vegl0wsinthedark and I present to you the latest smutty chapter in the saga of the Randy Prat and his Not So Innocent (anymore) boyfriend!

Content warnings: Oral sex, anal sex, dirty talk, spanking, coming untouched, D/s play, low refractory periods and lots and lots of mouth pressing. Like, lots.

Chapter 21: Coming Home

Keep reading

I think it’s kind of cute when Kids These Days compliment stuff by saying “this is so wholesome and pure” but I’ll never be 100% over the time when those words meant “obedient and sexually repressed.”

I’m sure it’s generational, dependent on whether you feel more pressure to be sexualized or desexualized, and generally a personal-milieu thing, so I don’t disapprove of it.  And there’s a real sweetness to the idea that today’s up-and-coming kids value goodness and unironic niceness.

Personally, though, I kind of like the idea of being dirty and corrupt and wrong and okay with that.

Some people see “being gay is impure” and respond with “gay people can be as sweet and pure as anyone, please observe these pastel-tinted photos of gay couples snuggling among flowers,” and that’s a totally valid response.

But I’m kind of old-school rebellious deep down, and my response is more often tilted towards “hell yeah it’s nasty, and god it feels good.”

So I just read Dirty Laundry

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Originally posted by la-vida-con-rock-lml

I’ve never liked the whole idea of Produce 101 and what they did now just proves my point. They stopped international voting, and let down Samuel and Jonghyun all because one was a mixed race and the other was kind. I’m never supporting this dirty good for nothing Mnet show and that’s never going to change.
archiveofourown.org
Good Boy
By Organization for Transformative Works

Summary: The worst part is that Baekhyun just wants Chanyeol to get really rough with him. He’s wanted it right from the start, and it doesn’t make sense, because Chanyeol’s always been so gentle and sweet, and yet all Baekhyun wants to do is his boyfriend to fuck him up.
Author: hyunwoo
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Smut
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Crossdressing, dirty talk

Admin Jackie: Uh, I don’t really read crossdressing fics? but the smut on this, I must admit was pretty hot… very kinky.

elanid  asked:

hi! reading your posts has made me really aware of how neglected my education in the classics has been. i thought probably it makes sense to start with the odyssey, but...(a) is there a translation that you think is particularly good? and (b) is there something else that would be a more interesting/useful/compelling place to start? (or, alternatively, what else do you think is fun to recommend!)

a reading list for classics babs by e.e. rose:

EPIC

Epic is the central genre of ancient literature. Every other piece of classical lit is in dialogue with the epics somehow. Start with the Greeks and Homer’s Odyssey, which is about the hero Odysseus returning home from the Trojan War: the Penguin Classics translation by Rieu is very good. The Iliad (describing the doom of Achilles and the climactic days of the Trojan War itself) is imo better, but it’s sadder and grander and less immediately accessible. The great Roman epic is Virgil’s Aeneid, which is a national epic about the foundation of the Roman race - again, go for the Penguin Classics edition with David West’s translation. However bear in mind that reading the Aeneid is sort of like reading highly self-referential fanfiction in a fandom which has been going for centuries where the author assumes you already know all the tropes and are here for the good stuff. The particularly good stuff in the Aeneid is Books 2, 4 and 6, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.


DRAMA

You might want to hit the Greek tragedies before you risk the Aeneid, since Virgil is absolutely bouncing off the tragic tropes of ruined cities and angry women. There are three tragedians: Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. Aeschylus is the hardest to get to grips with, but the Agamemnon - telling the story of Agamemnon’s return from Troy and his murder at the hands of his wronged wife Clytemnestra - is another Central Text of Ancient Literature. Then you can do Sophocles, who is my favourite: I recommend Oedipus the King (in which Oedipus kills his father, marries his mother, regrets his choices, and accidentally gives birth to Freudian psychology) and its spiritual sequel Antigone, which tells the story of Oedipus’s cursed-because-incest sister/daughter. We have a lot more Euripides than the other two and some of them are kind of weird and noooot that great, but there are also some amazing ones - definitely read Medea and Bacchae and Trojan Women. Medea is my go-to ancient text for newbies: it’s a pretty quick and easy read and it’s incredible.

While I’m on Greek drama I should mention comedy: it’s waaay harder to read than tragedy because most of the jokes are topical satire and therefore no longer make sense, but the great exception is Aristophanes’ Lysistrata, where the only context you need is that there’s a war on and all the women are sick of it; from there it’s just dirty jokes all the way. If you’ve read Aeschylus and Euripides (& the Odyssey!) you could also go for the Frogs by the same author, which parodies all three.


MORE POETRY

We have plenty of surviving poetry that isn’t part of the epic tradition, and especially some really good love poems. Read what there is of Sappho - sadly we don’t have much! After that probably switch over to Romans because the Greeks get highly allusive and unfriendly to new readers pretty fast. (A lot of classical literature is actually like fandom imo - everyone knows the ‘canon’ of the epics, tragedies and didactic poems, and people are riffing on them all over the place and assume you know what they’re talking about.) 

For Romans I like Horace Odes, Catullus’s collected poems, and especially Ovid Amores. Ovid is my favourite anyway - smart, funny, irreverent, rebellious - and it’s a big undertaking, but the real Ovid to read is his epic-with-a-twist, the Metamorphoses, in which he casually decides to write all of mythology in one fifteen-book poem. It rewards reading right through but you can get away with dipping into it - I like Books 9 and 10! There’s also his pick-up guide for ancient Romans, Ars Amatoria (’The Art of Love’) which is a delight and also full of great tips for finding love. For example, you can go to the Circus, where everyone is already in a good mood and feeling worked up, and sit down next to someone who is sexy, and take it from there!

NB do not actually follow Ovid’s romantic advice, all his actual relationships appear to have been gigantic disasters.


WHAT ABOUT PROSE THO

Okay so maybe you’ve had enough poems and you want stuff with a bit of weight to it. You can start with history - specifically, Herodotus Histories, in which Herodotus tries to explain the Greco-Persian wars with reference to everything he knows about everything he’s ever seen, heard, guessed, or just totally made up. The book is part history, part travel writing, part absolute nonsense (at one point Herodotus explains, in all seriousness, the complexities of gold-mining in India where they use giant ants to dig up the gold) and completely charming. But it’s long! It’s a long one. 

For some shorter historical writing, try Plutarch’s Parallel Lives, which are biographical sketches of famous Greeks and Romans. Pick whichever one looks interesting to you and go for it. Another biographer is the fabulously gossipy Suetonius and his biographies of the first Twelve Caesars, the original emperors of Rome. Good for dirty details!

Philosophy is kind of a big deal in ancient literature and it’s very much not my thing, but if you are going to read philosophy, it should be a Platonic dialogue (like a little play! but starring people Plato knows), and it should be the Symposium, or: Six Weird Friends Go To A Dinner Party And Talk About Love Until A Hot Twink Bursts In And Complains That Socrates Isn’t Into Him.

Something that is my thing is ancient oratory, but it needs a lot of context to make sense. You could read Robert Harris’s novels about Cicero (the first one is called Imperium) and then read Cicero’s First Catilinarian Oration. Cicero is my own true darling anyway: pick up Shackleton-Bailey’s translation of his Selected Letters for a real insight into an actual person’s life and relationships in ancient Rome.


THIS IS TOO MANY THINGS GIVE ME A SHORTLIST

  • Homer Odyssey
  • Euripides Medea
  • Sappho
  • Ovid Ars Amatoria
  • Plutarch Life of Alexander
  • Plato Symposium
  • Cicero Selected Letters
(22) Gladio’s pick-up lines.

Gladio: But, Iggy, seriously: I go dumb when I’m with you.
Ignis: If there’s no scientific explanation to that and it’s just you trying to flirt, I’m not listening to you, Gladiolus.
Gladio: There IS one, you know. Reason is, all the blood in my brain goes down to my coc-
Ignis: NOT IN FRONT OF THEM *slaps him*

friendly reminder that the gold star lesbian trope is biphobic and panphobic. having sexual experiences with men is not bad, and if you have had sex with a man that does not make you a “bad” or “lesser” wlw

also this post includes trans and nonbinary wlw. Terfs can fuck off

anonymous asked:

What kind of porn do you think the boys watch? 👀

i’ve been trying to answer this for so long and i keep overthinking it so idk i’m just gonna bash this shit out

  • taehyung: anything a little weird, and kinky - artsy, beautifully produced non-professional porn, homespun stuff, a lot of choking and slapping and ropes and water and everything all at once, particularly sadism. no matter what headspace he’s in, he’s really into degradation (n yes he’s a switch)
  • yoongi: i don’t think he watches porn that much??? i think he’s more the type to get distracted by what he’s imagining n he’s probably an audio porn kind of guy and it’s the wet, sloppy, moaning background noise that turns him on the most
  • namjoon: stuff that features a v noisy, needy sub being put in their place bc he can identify and just :(( imagine him fingering himself n moaning with his fist pressed up against his mouth and his eyes half shut bc he can barely stand the thought of that being him
  • hoseok: re: taehyung but w/ a heavier emphasis on toys - whips and cuffs and people playing dress-up; exhibitionism - fucking in semi-public places, power play, stuff with a lot of noise and dirty talk (the good, none-cringey kind), masks and collars. 
  • jin: doesn’t watch it often bc there’s not a lot to his taste?? his kinks r really specific - gloves, leather, suits and ties; a very controlled, almost detached dom + an obedient but completely wrecked sub are things he adores and appreciates. physical size contrast; softly spoken commands, pegging, orgasm control, femdoms
  • jimin: rough sex - nothing extreme or even necessarily hardcore (no blood) but the kind of fucking that he likes to imagine leaves bruises n it’s even better if he gets to see the way they’re left. pet play, people on leashes; the sound of them whining and begging, cum play, double penetration (the bigger, the better / the sound and sigh of someone being filled up that way is intoxicating and so startlingly graphic)
  • jeongguk: ^^^^^^ all of the above and i’m not even kidding. he’s inexperienced and painfully shy abt it all and he’s exploring but some of the stuff he tries to watch has his entire body cycling hot and cold and he blushes so easily bc it’s filthy and he can barely understand why he loves it so much
9

I am extremely sorry for taking so long, dear Anon, but if this is still of any help, please accept it! ;u;

also please note that I use the pencil on paper-scan-mouse in Photoshop CS5 route. :’3

One of my favorite things to imagine is post-Revelations Thom Rainier relearning some of his bad habits. He doesn’t need to keep up the perfectly virtuous and noble grey warden persona any more, and starts to slowly allow himself to be vain, to be lewd, to be proud. He’s changed, of course, he really is a better man – but he’s also realized that you don’t have to be perfect to be good.

Schooling to Drooling: Part 1


NOTE: ALL characters shown in this story are 18 and/or above.


Amanda was a smart girl, very smart, A++ student in fact. She excelled at everything she tried, whether that be art, sports, mathematics or english. She could speak, read and write three languages fluently, English, French and Russian, and was learning Japanese as well. She had a large group of good friends, who hung out together regularly. She had small A cup breasts, thin normal lips, golden blonde hair and a flat butt, but she didn’t mind. She never wore makeup and didn’t really care for anything fashion or beauty related.

A lot of this can be thanked to her parents and her school. Her parents had been married for years and years and were still going strong. They loved her and encouraged her to do her best all the time, though they were still willing to put their foot down when needs be. Her mother was the Chief of Police, with a clean record and heart of gold she was the best public servant the city’s ever had. And her father was a Nuclear Physicist at the power plant, working closely with the director and government, he had helped build that place, and was easily the smartest man there.

Her school was one of the best around, with great, kind understanding faculty, and the best pass rates and scores in the state. Her school had up to date equipment and amazing learning and afterschool programs. And Amanda was their top student, and even though she was only just starting her final year, many of the best universities had already begged her to come, tempting her with the best scholarships they could give.

But this was about to change, it wasn’t good enough for someone.

Amanda was walking in the halls alone after class, everyone else had either gone home, or to another part of the school for an afterschool program. Amanda was on her way to the bathroom. She really needed to go for some reason. She didn’t think she had that much to drink that day, but here she was.

When she arrived, she put her bag and books by the door. She needn’t worry about them being stolen, the school’s security would make sure they’re safe, and even then, no one would steal them anyway, it’s not that type of school.

She entered the room and stopped. It was weird, she suddenly no longer had to pee. ‘That’s strange.’ She thought to herself. ‘Well, I should probably, I should probably…’ She clutched her head, she suddenly had a splitting headache. And then, it just went away. ‘I should probably stay here for a while.’ She decided, little knownst to her, that wasn’t her decision.

She walked further into the room and saw him, Richard Hains. Richard Hains was a complete nerd, and not the good kind, he was small, lanky, dirty, stupid, perverted and creepy. What the hell he was doing in the women’s bathroom she didn’t know, though she didn’t find it weird or revaulting that he was in there (she should’ve).

“Hello Richard,” she started, staring at him in a very unusual manner, “what are you doing in here?”

“Oh me?” He said, trying his best to sound innocent, and failing miserably. “I’m here to test out this new ‘Master PC’ thing I got.”

“Oh,” Amanda said blankly, “what does it do?”

Richard grinned evilly, and brought out his phone. “It’s a program that lets you change reality to your, or my, whims. For instance, I’ve made it so you don’t care that I’m in here. And right now, I’m going to do some experiments to see what needs to be changed.”

Richard tapped a few buttons on his screen and Amanda walked up to him, and gave him a sloppy, unorganized, inexperienced kiss on the cheek. “Let’s see? You’ve never had a boyfriend, or anything romantic really, but you’ve always wanted to try. You are extremely smart, but unappealing to look at, and absolutely no sexual experience, you can’t even masterbait propaly. Yes, I see what I can do.”

Richard than jammed his fingers into Amanda’s crotch. “OOH!!” She yelp, as a strong feeling of pain and pleasure shot through her.

“Hmm, Your libedo is also pretty low, that’ll need adjusting,” Richard said, contemplating his next move.

Suddenly the door to the bathroom was kicked down, and in the doorway were two security guards. When they looked in they saw Richard on his phone, with his fingers deep in Amanda’s pussy. “What the FUCK?!!” One of them screamed, “oh that’s it Hains, you’re going to fucking jail this time!”

“Oh, I don’t think so, I’ve got everything I need from here. Tata.” With that Richard pressed a button on his phone, and the world started spinning, like really spinning.

End Part 1.

Daily Hadith

Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam ‘ala Rasulillah

Narrated by Abu Huraira (Radi-Allahu 'anhu):

Allah’s Apostle (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “Anybody who believes
in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbour, and anybody who
believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously
and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good
or keep quiet. (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk).”

Bukhari Vol. 8 : No. 47