the good captain

dating advice: the “captain america” rule

Context: I grew up in a family of nerds, and superheroes were always a really big part of my childhood. Captain America was a favorite, and he kind of became my family’s standard for good behavior and just generally being a Nice Person. (If one of the kids started a fight they’d get hit with, “What would Captain America think of how you’re acting?”, stuff like that.)

So when I got to high school and started dating, my mom told me something that sounds funny but in retrospect actually turned out to be really good advice:

“Date someone who treats you the way Captain America would. Never settle for less.” 

And this has actually helped me so much in my dating life, through high school and into my adult years, because even if it’s a little silly, it’s been really helpful to have that standard in the back of my mind when I’m first going into a relationship. 

Would Captain America ignore my calls? Would Captain America forget my birthday? Would Captain America get mad at me for cancelling a date because a family emergency came up? If the answer is no, then I know that the person I’m currently dating does not meet my standards, and that I need to break things off before they get too serious.

And your standard absolutely does not have to be Captain America, specifically. It can be any person, male or female, real or fictional, who is known for being respectful and considerate. It can even be an imaginary “soulmate” that you make up yourself. The point is to have a specific idea of how you expect to be treated by your romantic partners, and to refuse to compromise or settle for less. (Just make sure you’re holding yourself to the same standards – you can’t expect to date superheroes if you’re going to treat your partners the way a supervillain would.) This is a really good way to keep yourself from falling into bad relationships where you aren’t treated with the respect and care you deserve.

TL;DR: You deserve to date people who are respectful and considerate of you. You deserve a Captain America. Don’t settle for less. 

  • steve: you wrote about me
  • bucky: I don't know what you're talking about
  • steve: you pulled me out of the river
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you nearly killed tony because he hurt me. you actually roared like an angry pigeon or something
  • bucky: I don't like him
  • steve: you tried to pull me behind the shield when I was covering you with it
  • bucky: I didn't mean to do that
  • steve: you remembered my shoes and the hotdogs but not that girls name
  • bucky: I have memory problems that's all
  • steve: you left our dates because I ran off, didn't even apologize
  • bucky: your date would've wondered where you went, I found you for her
  • steve: you lied and told me you only knew me because of the smithsonian because you wanted to protect me, to make me go
  • bucky: blame the brochure
  • steve: you made me share an apartment with you
  • bucky: I needed someone to do the dishes
  • steve: you kept my picture
  • bucky: memory problems remember?
  • steve: you didn't like it when I kissed sharon, I can tell your fake smile from your real one
  • bucky: you were wasting valuable time
  • steve: you put yourself back into cryo so I'd stop being reckless and not become a criminal just to keep you
  • bucky: I was tired
  • steve: you made a vow, told me you'd be with me until death
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you interrupted my moment with peggy because you were jealous
  • bucky: you deserved applause and attention for your bravery
  • steve: you fell from the train because you were protecting me
  • bucky: wasn't my smartest move
  • steve: you gave me heart eyes at the bar in '43
  • bucky: I was drunk
  • steve: we shared money and everything else like...a couple
  • bucky: it was convenient
  • steve: you're in love with me
  • bucky: yes
  • steve: what
  • bucky: what