the golden smith

Underrated things from The Book Of Mormon
  • Elder Poptarts
  • Satan implying that all Catholics and Jews go to Hell
  • “He answered your prayers, huh?”
  • the golden plates in “Joseph Smith: American Moses”
  • the mission president
  • the gasps of Genghis Khan, Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolf Hitler, and Johnnie Cochran when they hear that Kevin broke rule 72
  • the “Hasa Diga Eebowai” reprise
  • “fuck you in the eye!… fuck you in the other eye!”
  • the x-ray of the Book of Mormon in Kevin’s ass
  • “I have maggots in my scrotum” “You should really see a doctor about that” “I am the doctor”
  • Johnnie Cochran playing the bongos in “Spooky Mormon Hell Dream”
  • the entire airport scene
  • “Africa is nothing like Lion King!  I think that movie took a lot of artistic license!”
  • the kraken that shoots Joseph Smith torpedoes that will turn you into a lesbian
  • the insanely fast costume change in “Turn It Off”
  • the fact that Arnold has never read the Book of Mormon
FNAF Theory: The Big Brother Theory

This Theory will draw on evidence from across the 4 FNAF games as well as Sister Location to argue that Purple Guy might be much closer to us as the player than we think. Warning this does contain Spoilers.

If you use my theory to develop any others please give me credit for the parts I contributed.

Perhaps one of the oldest conceived questions of the Franchise is ‘Who is Purple Guy’? Who is the man who killed the children in the establishment that went onto possess the killer animatronics? In the early games both Mike Schmit and Phone Guy came up as possible suspects, mostly because after the release of FNAF 1 they were two of the only characters we could put a name of some sort to. However, we may have been closer to the mark than we first thought. In fact I will argue that Purple Guy has held a key role and appearance in every single FNAF game as well as the confirmed appearance in Sister Location.

Thanks to Sister Location we now know Purple Guy’s true name to be Michael Afton, the son of William Afton the killer. From this people have begun to reanalyse minigames starring Purple Guy in the previous games and drawn the connection that Purple Guy himself is never seen killing children, only dismantling animatronics. The previously named ‘Pink Guy’ is the only one who appears to kill children or appear in minigames where children are killed.

I think it is far to conclude that Pink Guy is in fact William Afton, the true killer, while Michael Afton his son became Purple Guy and later Springtrap.

But there is plenty of evidence to suggest that Michael Afton has made other appearances in the games, namely as Mike Schmit, Fritz Smith, and most importantly, The older brother in FNAF 4.

Mike Schmit and Fritz Smith are the easiest to explain so I will begin with them.

At the end of Sister Location Michael Afton is scooped and is packed with Ennard who wears him as a human skin until the body itself starts to rot, at which point Ennard either ejects himself or is forcefully ejected by the rotting body. Michael Afton falls to the floor apparently dead, as we’d imagined he would be considering what had happened to him and his looks. But somehow Baby seems to bring him back to life, perhaps, as we know that Michael Afton is Baby’s brother she wanted to bring him back to life after everything she and the other animatronics had done to him, but the power ended up bringing him back forever - a little like Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who. He just can’t die.

Now think back as to why Mike Schmit and Fritz Smith lost their jobs.

Both are fired after tampering with the animatronics and due to odor. This almost seemed like a funny joke at the end of the first games, and tampering with the animatronics might have been a reference to the custom nights that proceeded the firing. But in reference to what we now know about Purple Guy it is very easy to draw a comparison that these two Night Guards, we play as, might very well be the same person, someone who is giving off a bad odor as if rotting and has a history of tampering with animatronics.

It seems almost obvious that looking back we in fact played as Purple Guy in FNAF 1 and on the final night of FNAF 2.

However, the main focus of this is to prove that the big brother in FNAF 4 is also another appearance of Michael Afton whose history becomes more tragic as we continue.

It was speculated after the release of FNAF 4 that the Crying Child was the son of the killer, after all his house was right next door to the restaurant, he seemed to have close affiliation with the franchise and in Sister Location we discover that the Crying Child’s house and neighbourhood are all shown on the map, as well as CCTV footage of their bedroom and the halls that surround it.
We also wondered if there was also a sister due to the pink and flowery room that also resided in the house.

A girl appears in the game with ginger pigtails and bright green eyes that almost perfectly seems to reflect baby’s appearance.

What we know is canon in FNAF 4 is that the guy in the Foxy Mask is the Crying Child’s older brother, and in Sister Location Michael Afton is Baby’s brother. There is plenty of evidence beginning to arise in the games that suggests that there is a blatant connection between these three.

Now as we remember the Crying Child, it is heavily implied, dies at the end of the game after battling in a comatose nightmare after being bitten by Fredbear, in what I believe to be the Bite of ‘83, but I won’t go too much into that for now. He is placed in Fredbear as a joke by his brother and friends, when the jaws snap shut on his head.

Pink Guy killed children, but we know that both Baby and the Crying Child were killed by the animatronics themselves. Just two children killed by animatronics, from there it would make sense that they could possibly be connected to the man that killed the children possessing the animatronics themselves.

We also know it is heavily implied that the Crying Child went on to possess Fredbear (Golden Freddy) which is where the biggest piece of evidence for the connection comes from.

There are two words we have never solved the mystery behind from the first game. The infamous ‘It’s me’ hallucination which appears in two locations.

It appears when looking at Pirate Cove where Foxy is and while looking at Golden Freddy, and there is one thing that connects these two animatronics. The Crying Child of FNAF 4 and his older brother who wears a Foxy mask.

If this theory is being followed then the only known person Michael Afton has actually been responsible for the death of was his own brother when he was still just a teenager. ‘It’s Me’ could be the hallucinogenic words that echo when Michael Afton himself is reminded that he is a killer even if he never meant to be. Golden Freddy is the most infamous character in the game that only Michael Afton has ever had to face.

Golden Freddy only appears in FNAF 1 and on Night 6 while Fritz Smith is on duty in FNAF 2. Golden Freddy is an animatronic that is very specifically tailored for this one character.

So what we can conclude is that Michael Afton is a man who is the son of a child killer, accidentally caused the death of his younger brother while he was a teenager, his sister also later was killed by an animatronic, he is then sent by his father into the death trap which is Sister Location to free his sister’s spirit only to be killed himself and used as a walking skin suit, brought back from the dead only to be left in a rotting state, forced to face off against the animatronics night after night as he continues to try and free the trapped souls by dismantling the animtronics, only to end up locked inside Springtrap, killed again, trapped behind a wall for 30 years before finally being placed as an attraction in Fazbear’s Fright.

I mean… if I was Michael I’d be looking for my father too, he’s got some serious explaining to do. 

That isn’t to say this theory is faultless or explains everything.

After all Purple Guy appears in FNAF 4 putting someone into a costume, whether this is the same Purple Guy or another place where we trip over and have to re-explain things I don’t know, but the rest of the theory seems to fit.

This theory also doesn’t answer the question: Who is Purple Guy? As there seem to be no clues to his identity in this.


folkin around // panic! at the disco

Not So Boring: Part 3 (Teen Wolf & Riverdale) ~ Reader x Jughead Jones

“I thought your werewolf nose was supposed to be good?” Stiles muttered to Isaac as we stood by the lake of Riverdale.

“Well everything smells like garbage right now considering someone made us hide in a dumpster for about 45 minutes!” Isaac shot at the Stilinski boy, who rolled his eyes.

“It was the only hiding place!” Stiles argued as we continued to step through the woods, twigs breaking beneath our feet.

I stopped walking as Isaac and Stiles continued to bicker when I caught the swift smell of something flowing through my nostrils. Something…salty.

“Do you guys smell that?” I asked the two teenagers as they ceased their argument for a second to take a whiff of their surroundings.

Stiles nodded dumbly, “Yeah, yeah I do. It smells like saltwater. Wait, does this mean I’m like a werewolf now?”

Isaac and I ignored Stokes’s stupid comment as Isaac looked around, using his nose before his eyes settled on one direction, “This way.”

And once again we were running through the forest, only stopping when we reached the edge of Sweetwater River, where the body of the boy had been found.

“So, was this it? Did we just smell the water?” Stiles asked, looking around, but my gaze was caught on Isaac, who was staring off into the water.

“No,” The curly haired boy shook his head, his eyes glowing their golden color, “I smell smithing else too. It smells like blood.”

Then out of nowhere something burst out of the water and up into the sky. A loud scream erupting from the air bound object causing us to cover our ears and duck. The sound was louder than mine and Lydia’s combined.

As the create fell back into the water the screaming stopped, and we all slowly stood up, looking at each other warily.

“What-what was that? That is defiantly new.” Stiles questioned, catching his breath as he wiped the drops of blood that had come from his ears.

At the sound of something bubbling we looked over at water to see bubbles appearing from it, like something was breathing there.

“I think we’re about to find out.” I told them sarcastically as the creature jumped up again, this time landing right in front of us, allowing us to see what it looked like.

It was like a beauty tutorial gone wrong.

One half of the creature was a beautiful human, with sparkling eyes, and precious hair. It seemed so…calming.

But the other side, it was covered in green, goey scales. With fangs that were complete with fresh blood dripping from them. And yo top it all off, their was a long tail swinging behind it’s legs.

“Uh, oh.” Isaac mumbled as the creature opened its mouth to leg out another scream, “Run!”

And we took off back into the woods, screaming for our lives as the creature chased after us at high speed.

We only stopped when I collided with something, something that was too soft to be a tree.

I looked up from my spot on the ground to see Jughead staring down at me, a concerned, yet curios look in his eye. He then reached a hand down to help me up, which I gladly accepted.

“(Y/N)?” Betty asked in a worried voice from behind Veronica as Jughead helped me up, she then looked over at the blood coming from Stiles’ ear, “What happened?”

I traded looks with the two boys who knew about the supernatural before looking back over at the Riverdale kids.

“Um,” I bit the inside of my lip. “Nothing, nothing. It’s all right. We were just practicing for a-” I looked over at the boys for help.

“Track meet.” Issac suggested.

Stiles on the other hand, “A play!”

The Riverdale gang looked at us warily, I wanted to punch Stiles in the throat.

I instead coughed, getting the attention back on me, “Yes, it is for a track meet.”

“That is a play!” Stiles jumped in, causing me to glare at the boy.

“Yes, it is a play about a track meet. Our town is a little weird.”

“Why are you guys out here?” Isaac asked, quickly trying to change the subject.

“Oh you know, just taking a walk.” The red-haired boy tried to play it off.

Veronica rolled her brown eyes, “Alright since Archekins won’t give you the truth I will, Jughead made us follow you guys because he’s too curious for his own good.”

“I thought it was because he had a crush on (Y/N).” Betty cut in causing Jughead to blush red and myself to gasp.

I looked up to meet Jughead’s eyes, “What?”

The boy opened his mouth to speak but was suddenly caught off by Stiles yelling out, “Siren!”

Isaac huffed, looking over at the boy like he was insane, “Excuse me?”

Stiles looked over at me and I raised an eyebrow, having no idea what he was talking about.

“Siren!” Stiles repeated once again, flailing his arms around.

I nodded slowly, as if I were speaking to a child, “Yeah, we got that part. But why did you bring it up?”

Stiles rolled his eyes, “Because it’s a siren! I remember it!”

“Hey, uh,” Archie started, his eyes growing wide, “Does a siren happen to look like half pretty girl, and then half fish thing?”

Isaac, Stiles, and I all traded looks before the Stilinski boy nodded at the red haired boy, “Yeah, actually. How did you know?”

As soon as Stiles asked every member of the Riverdale gang was pointing behind us, a look of terror in their eyes.

I took a deep breath in, looking over at the werewolf and the human, “It’s right behind us, isn’t it?”

Veronica nodded slightly, her dark hair bouncing.

We all traded looks, silently agreeing on our next move.