“I play an openly proud bisexual warlock and a person of color that’s in a relationship with a recently out gay shadowhunter who hunts demons for a living. I don’t think that this combination has ever existed on TV.”
Hawke laughs harder now for her
days of silence. Losing count of how many mugs of beer she’s had and still
wanting more. The Hanged Man is full of her vicious, forced, glee. Talking over
everyone, challenging anyone who approaches her to anything they want. She
bests three at arm wrestling, two at darts. She flattens the ones who wants to
fight her, pushes away the ones who want to kiss her. They burned a closed
coffin today, marked Leandra’s grave with flowers of purple.
He watches as she stumbles to
her feet, heading towards the stairs. The others watch her go. The others look
at him. He’s already after her, taking the stairs by two. He finds her in one
of the empty rooms, standing alone in the dark. “Hawke,” he says slowly. She
turns, does not smile. She never pretends with him. He takes one of her hands,
tries to wipe away the blood on her knuckles. “Perhaps we should go home.”
“I don’t want to,” she says. “I
don’t want to be in that fucking house. It echoes Fen.” She looks at him, eyes
so brightly blue, shining under moonlight. “Come home with me.”
Her hands tremble on his cheeks,
cupping his face, brushing her thumbs over his cheekbones. She steps even
closer, her forehead practically touching his. He reaches up, fingertips at her
wrists, wrapping around them. “I tried to do what you asked. I tried not to
feel anything for you,” she says, “but I – I’ll always –” She’s moving closer as she speaks, her nose brushing
against his, eyes moving from his to his lips, searching, wanting, asking,
please, please, please, let me. He doesn’t say no.
She tastes like beer and
something better, less bitter. Earth after a morning rain, dew upon leaves, wet
of grass underneath bare feet. Moss upon bark, the sweeter taste of berries
hidden upon her tongue. His hands travel up her arms, squeeze upon her
shoulders, pushes her against the wall. Fingers tap against his neck, thread
through his hair, while her other hand splays against his back. How, how, how
could he have gone so long without kissing her?
Pressing against her as tightly
as he can, wanting to feel all of her, missing every inch. Hawke begs him
closer, opens even more to him, heart pounding in her chest. She has him, she
has him, he’s come back to her. His touch at her collarbone, at her jaw, strong
at the back of her neck. Starved for so long and finally able to feel. A flood
upon dried land, seeping into every crevice and crack, filling up his lungs and
bleeding into his bones.
Their first kiss was different.
Fumbling and shy, sitting side by side on her couch, her hand over his.
Hesitant and wondering, a promise of more. This is want and desperation, a
question answered, a clinging hope, and Fenris knows, knows, that this isn’t what either of them need. Gasping as he
pulls away from her, fingers bruising into her shoulders, keeping her pressed
against the wall as he steps back.
“Hawke, we shouldn’t – I can’t,”
he says, voice broken and hoarse. Her lips are red and raw because of him, and
oh maker, she looks so lost. She’s shaking her head, the knot twisting and
turning between her brows.
“No, no, no, Fenris, please,”
she says, reaching after him as his hands leave her. Holding onto him so
loosely, trembling in his palm, chin quivering. She knows what she’s done. She’s
shattered them again, made the distance wider, and forced a thing that had not
healed. Could not heal. “Please don’t leave.” Pulling his hand from hers,
squeezing them into fists. “Please don’t leave me again.” He turns away from
her, feeling something inside him snap and break, hurrying into the hallway.
“Please don’t go,” the tears
spill down her cheeks as she slides to the floor, pulling her knees to her
chest. “Please don’t leave me alone.” Silent sobs into the arms she wraps
Okay so there’s this thing I saw on someone’s tumblr
Pick your top ten ships without reading the questions.
here are mine:
1. Stucky (aka Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes from Marvel’s Captain America)
2. Johnlock (aka John Watson x Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock BBC)
3. Stydia (aka Stiles Stilinski x Lydia Martin from Teen Wolf)
4. Phan (aka Phil Lester x Daniel Howell from Youtube)
5. Klaine (aka Kurt Hummel x Blaine Anderson from Glee)
6. Dastiel (aka Dean Winchester x Castiel from Supernatural)
7. SpideyPool (aka Spider-Man x Deadpool from Marvel’s Comics)
8. CaptainSwan (aka Captain Hook x Emma Swan from Once Upon A Time)
9. Malec (aka Magnus Bane x Alec Lightwood from Cassandra Clair’s Shadowhunters & Freeform’s Shadowhunters TV Series)
10. Cherik (aka Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr from X-Men)
1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?
Dastiel. Wow that is actually my first gay ship EVER. I started shipping them about 6 years ago mainly because of random fan art and fanfiction, I don’t thing there is a scene or an episode that made me ship them, I think the fandom on the internet did lol.
2. Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?
I read SO MUCH FANFICTION about Johnlock. Beginning summer 2016 I had such an intense phase of shipping them for about 9 months. I was literally going insane and wishing for it to go away, I’m not even joking. And I read I think almost EVERY good fanfic there is in the fandom (NOT joking). I can just open ao3 and start commenting on fics, cause I read them all omg what is my life seriously.
3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr?
Phan indeed was my screen saver once. Only once. Cause I kinda… um… I don’t like shipping them (or any RP for that matter) but there’s nothing I can do about it I need help.
4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?
Spydeypool is not cannon (unless there’s smth Idk?) but I would be offended if they broke up… haha
5. Why is 1 so important?
Stucky was more important than my own fucking life for 2 years straight all right???? They’re beautiful, their story is beautiful, protect Bucky Barnes at all cost.
6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?
This is definitely a serious shi(t)p. So much drama jfc.
7. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?
I’d sayPhan Cherik. Have you even seen Days of Future Past?
8. Out of all of the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?
Kill me, but it’s Phan.
9. How many times have you read/watched 10’s fandom?
Not as much as I wish. I mean those shipping “phases” that I usually get of different pairings just never last very long when it comes to Cherik. But don’t worry, I had my fair share of them. Still intend to have so more in the future I hope. Btw I’ve watched Days of Future Past like million times cause it’s the second best Marvel (Fox hah) movie there is okay?
10. Which ship has lasted the longest?
For me? Stucky. As I said, two fucking years of my life. Not that I stopped shipping them, noooo. It’s just not that intense anymore, I guess.
11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?
Again, Dastiel isnot a cannon ship. But if it were, there would’ve been sooooooo many break ups honestly because Dean Winchester is a bloody drama queen.
12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?
Ooh, Johnlock or CaptainSwan? Shit, I don’t know??? But I think like… Sherlock would probably freak the fuck out if he saw zombies, cause you know… unexplainable and that would be his and John’s downfall. So CaptainSwan would probs survive.
13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?
Spideypool is not cannon (but they should be jfc have you seen the comics????). I think they would hide their love eyes for each other cause some shit reason Idk my brain can’t explain it.
14. Is 4 still together?
Is Phan still together?You can’t ask me that. Don’t you ask me that like EVER. Just… DON’T.
15. Is 10 cannon?
Nope. But Cherik is one of those pairings that are just cannon, even if it’s not. D’u know what I mean???
16. If all ten ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?
There would be like an intense fight between Stucky, Spideypool and Cherik cause you know superheroes and all that.
17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?
Are you talking about sabotaging Klaine?? Like, YEAH
18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?
Stucky all the fucking way.
19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?
There should’ve been number 4 I s2g Not really, I ship Stydia, but not that much.
20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up forever, which ship would you sink?
Way to put me on the spot omg. I’d sink CaptainSwan cause sure there was a time I shipped them so hard it hurt but not now, I don’t even watch OUAT anymore. Sorry, CapSwan.