the george shelley

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These are authors from the awesome web serie the Poe Party by @shipwreckedcomedy ! I wish I could drew more of the cast, especially the cop duo which were so much fun to watch. So if you didn’t  watch this show yet, i don’t know what you are waiting for. LIT JOKES EVERYWHERE.

And again sorry for the RGB conversion. tumblr, whyyyyyyyyy 

Which Classics Author Should You Fight?
  • Charles Dickens: The Victorian equivalent of a white male tumblr meninist. Fight his past newspaper blogger ass, though the guy does write about his own "tragic experiences", so be warned that a caricature of you will probably be appearing in his next novel.
  • The Brontes: idk they're from Yorkshire I wouldn't risk it
  • Dante Aligheri: Yess he spends all his time in his room writing self-insert Bible fanfic and never goes outside, 10/10 would fight this nerd. You will win. Easily.
  • Mary Shelley: Why would you want to fight Mary Shelley???? She's nice and bad things happened to her and she invented scifi! Go reevaluate your life choices.
  • Victor Hugo: Don't. He will kill you otp viciously and then spend 38 pages describing someone's hat.
  • Jonathon Swift: It's 50/50 you'll win, but you might fall asleep from his long-winded prose before you land a punch.
  • William Shakespeare: Little is known about him, other than the fact that he had free access to bears and swords and a penchant for revenge and mass murder as plot devices. If you're gonna fight him, watch your back.
  • C.S. Lewis: Whiny and allergic to adjectives and allegorical and super racist. Fight Him. So long as your childhood can take it.
  • J.R.R Tolkien: Shakespeare's biggest fan, so a total dork. Also old and shell shocked. Your call.
  • William Thackeray: Him and his friends will get drunk and gang up on you. Not advisable.
  • Alexandre Dumas: He was once described as "the most generous, large-hearted being in the world" and had extensive military training. Just... don't.
  • Harper Lee: Still alive, so she's got a foot up on the rest of them.
  • George Orwell: Total fuckin' politics nerd. Will keep a diary of the fight.
  • Jane Austen: You'd feel too mean, it'd be like punching some harmless lana del-ray book club chic. Fight her if you want but be aware of the emotional consequences.
  • Mark Twain: Constantly angry looking. Just look at that mustache. You want to fight him already, don't you?
  • Oscar Wilde: The sassiest little shit ever. Be prepared for cane wielding sassmeister. You'll probably lose, but it'll be worth it.
My “Boys” by Charli XCX video
  • Oscar Isaac playing peekaboo with his baby. He has his Poe Dameron hairstyle and just the right stubble.
  • John Boyega playing with TOO MANY KITTENS at once. TOO MANY. He laughs, delighted and overwhelmed, at the tickle of their tiny toebeans.
  • Diego Luna with sweaterpaws in a big cableknit cowl-neck, peeking out at me with sparkling eyes.
    • Alternately: Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal lovingly fixing each other’s hair and collars and glasses.
  • Harry Styles bashfully holding out a bunch of heart-shaped balloons. He’s wearing a floral suit.
  • Riz Ahmed floating past in a crystal-blue pool, laying atop a swan-shaped floatie. He tilts his sunglasses down to wink.
  • Harrison Ford looking vaguely maybe-disapproving but being a good sport about it.
  • George Shelley building a blanket fort for two. He wears a blanket cape.
  • Mahershala Ali having a tea party with gilded bone china teacups covered in fuchsia roses. The other guests are mostly teddy bears.
  • Andy Samberg making a giant banana split; he’s wearing a cardigan and his glasses, and he had to roll up the sleeves to his elbows.
  • Aziz Ansari playing with a Dog That Looks Like Tom Haverford, rip the cutest blog concept.
  • Tom Holland doing breathtaking fouettes and probably a pas de basque combo.
    • Harry Shum Jr. can come, too.
  • Richard Ayoade cleaning his glasses. He’s in a beautiful library. He shushes the camera.
  • Adam Scott eating a calzone, the cheese stretching entirely too long to be realistic. He laughs at himself.
  • John Cho riding a white horse like in Selfie, but in less of a shirt.  Maybe in a light rain.
  • Ben Schwartz and Joe Keery brushing their teeth side-by-side.
  • Alfie Enoch frosting a giant pink cake with a smudge of flour on his perfect cheekbone.
  • Terry Crews painting a still life of flowers and various fruits.
  • Dev Patel and Andrew Garfield having a pillow fight in ridiculously-patterned flannel pajama pants and white undershirts. They lightly pluck stray feathers from each other’s shoulders.
  • Armie Hammer walking a moderately sized army of dachsunds in raincoats. He has a magenta umbrella.
  • Louis Tomlinson, clean-shaven, wearing suspenders. Freddie is dressed to match.
  • Donnie Yen polishing an apple on his shirt and taking a cheery bite. Or maybe a peach, and then then he wipes his mouth on his wrist.
  • Luke Pasqualino carving an terrible, terrible, but very cute jack-o’lantern. He’s too proud of it.
  • Tamal Ray eating a huge sandwich. Probably the number two best sandwich of his life, when they fried the pork with rosemary. I want to see his joy.
  • Nick Offerman reading “Make Way for Ducklings.” TO DUCKLINGS.
    • Alternately: Madeline. He’s probably wearing a tool belt.
  • Andre Braugher jumping on a trampoline
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POE PARTY VALENTINES!

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, we thought you might want some Poe Party Valentines to express your literary love. Perfect to share with that guy or gal down the street who never appreciates all the poems you write about them and all the ravens you send their way.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party NOW ON KICKSTARTER!

  • HG: If you bite it and you die; its poisonous. If it bites you and you die; it's venomous.
  • Louisa: What if it bites me and it dies?
  • Charlotte: That means you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Louisa, learn to listen.
  • George: What if it bites itself and I die?
  • Lenore: It's voodoo.
  • Annabel: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
  • Mary: That's correlation, not causation.
  • Oscar: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
  • Ernest: That's kinky.
  • Edgar: Oh my god.

Guys GUYS GUYS, a list of fascinating (but probably useless) facts: 

Mary Wollstonecraft is the mother of Mary Shelley

Jane Austen and Napoleon lived at the same period

Agatha Christie was born 2 years before Tolkien and died 3 years after him.

Dolly Wilde dressed up as her uncle, was mistaken for him and was more wild than Wilde (also she mainly lived in Paris with lots of lesbians) 

Oscar Wilde was still alive when Agatha Christie was born

Jules Verne was born before and died after Oscar Wilde (whose grave is in Paris btw)

Agatha Christie could have been a professional pianist but was too shy (also, she accepted the presidency of a club on the condition that she would never have to do a speech)

Madame du Chatelet could read in german/french/english/latin/greek at 12yo (also, she dressed as a man to take part in discussion at the litterary salons in France) and she was the first to translate Newton in french (and was the first woman to be published by the french Academy of Science) 

Marc-Anthony killed himself because of fake news

At like, 20yo, Cleopatra was raising an army to take back Egypt

The temple of Deir el-Bahri was built during Hatshepsut’s reign

Sappho was referred to as ‘The Poetess’ and Homer as ‘The Poet’ (and Shakespeare’s ‘The Bard’

George Orwell resigned from the Imperial Police and live the life of a poor when he realized how oppressed the Burmese were

Tolkien and Lewis both hated technology and neither knew how to drive

Agatha Christie was the first (British) woman to surf standing up 

Homosexuality was decriminalized in France in 1791 (tho you could still be arrested for indecency etc and there was lots of discrimination)   

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