the gentleman bug

“I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!“

Locke Lamora made this proclamation with his wine glass held high; he and the other Gentleman Bastards were seated at the old witchwood table… . The others began to jeer.

"Liar!” they chorused

“I only steal because this wicked world won’t let me work an honest trade!” Calo cried, hoisting his own glass.


“I only steal,” said Jean, “because I’ve temporarily fallen in with bad company.”


At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, “I only steal because it’s heaps of fucking fun!”

                                ― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

So here’s that book I’ve been reading lately that’s awfully good and that I won’t shut up about. The Gentleman Bastards is a small group of thieves working in the fictional city of Camorr (which looks somewhat like Venice). They’re basically con-artists: they steal from the rich, don’t give to the poor and have a load of fun until someone comes to break the party.

You can read the first pages here and I hope you will because I plan on converting you all into fans.

  • What he says: I'm fine
  • What he means: But like, seriously, why Bug though? Bug would have made such a good pirate, hanging out in the crows nest and shouting "LAND HO!" and other such nonsense. Bug would have been thrilled to see his super """serious""" and successful Garrista pulling childhood pranks in Karthain. Bug would probably have been dumbstruck by finally seeing the Sabetha of legends. There could have been so many wonderful little Bug moments... Why would you do that to my smol innocent thief son? Why would you do something like that Scott Lynch? WHY? HE WAS JUST GETTING HIS MORAL EDUCATION!