Summary: “Guess that’s what happens when literally everyone on Earth spends every second cockblocking us.”
Warnings: Smut, language
Notes: Requested by @seethelovelyintheworld, a fic in which “every time they have sex, they both have orgasms right away.” I finished this before the premiere, and I was gonna wait until tomorrow, but I have no patience whatsoever, and figure some smutty fluff is due after such angst. So here you go!
It’s just on the cusp of midnight when Killian Jones finds
himself walking down a quiet street in the center of town. The nights are growing longer, the sun
colder, stiff breezes wafting in from the sea.
Though he’d be content to turn his collar up against the weather, and
allow his blood to warm his fingertips, he wears a long shirt with a high neck
beneath his vest at Emma’s request. He’d
also sunk his teeth into the thick, knitted wrist of a black glove, wriggling
it down onto his fingers, and savoring the look on her face. It had been admittedly far less alluring when –
“Where’d you get that
glove?” she says, reaching out to skim the palm of her hand over his hip. “And can I have the other one because oh my God,
these are soft.”
“This glove lacks a partner, Swan, much like the hand it protects.”
“Then where – ”
He flushes, then, and covers with a kiss to the swell of her
cheek. “From Madame Lucas.”
– but all the same, he’d not left the house that morning without
several promising kisses to her lips.
This is meant to be only of people who were the Heterodyne, although sometimes I didn’t know. They’re also meant to be in order of time period.
The H’trok Din
Knife (1042) – The H’trok Din’s son. Wooster says this is when he built the Castle.
Faustus (1298) – Wooster gives this as the date of the current Castle being built and we know Faustus built it.
Dagon – The Castle remembers him and his wife, so after Faustus.
Robur – The Castle remembers him, too.
Lazarus Heterodyne? (1575-1623) – Possibly not the Heterodyne.
The Red Heterodyne and Black Heterodyne (1596-1665) – They were brothers and the dates are given for the Black Heterodyne in footnotes to the third novel. This places them slightly confusingly in the likely time period occupied by Clemethious and Bludtharst. Oggie and Maxim say they fought with the Red Heterodyne a hundred years ago “mebbe more”, but either canon is set much earlier than I previously thought or they underestimated rather badly.
Clemethious (216 years ago) – The date of the second novel’s prologue. Clemethious and Bludtharst are both alive at the time.
Bludtharst? (216 years ago) – May or may not have ever been the Heterodyne. Was certainly very active while his father was still alive.
Dante – Made a stupid bet with the Prince of Sturmhalten, which requires coming after Sturmhalten was built.
The Guy Who Magnetised Children – This is all anyone says about Saturnus’ father.
TBH, I'm imagining that the Evil Queen was Asian and had a son and the son is played by Harry. Only, instead of being evil and wanting to cause mayhem, he just likes to bake with apples. And admire himself in the mirror.
I WANT TO GIF THIS SO MUCH ANON…. I might have to try do this, if you don’t mind. You’re a genius I love it!