the gayest film ever

He’s Always Like That. He’s Always Been Like That.

So, this is a pretty facile observation, but I haven’t seen it laid out anywhere else, so I’m going to put it down here. 

In the retelling of John and Sherlock’s (or Holmes and Watson’s) first meeting in TAB, Stamford’s Victorian introduction is not significantly different from the one he gives in the modern timeline of the show. The two moments are shown within only moments of each other in the special, with the modern first meeting shown in the “Previously on Sherlock” callback before the Victorian MP stuff properly begins. 

Originally posted by cupidford

The interactions mirror each other so closely (except for instead of John giving Sherlock his heart, Sherlock gives John his dick??? I don’t know…) that the little differences that aren’t mandated by historical accuracy bear particular scrutiny. There’s one moment in particular that stuck out to me as I was rewatching it just now, and though it’s not as earth-shattering as some of the other meta that you truly ridiculous geniuses are coming up with, it’s a nice little reinforcement of what has kind of been established is the writers’ mission statement and the driving argument behind TJLC.

Modern Meeting:

Sherlock (To John): The name’s Sherlock Holmes, and the address is two-two-one-bee, Baker Street. (To Mike) Afternoon. 

Mike (To John): Yeah. He’s always like that. 

Victorian Meeting:

Holmes (To Watson): The name is Sherlock Holmes, and the address is two hundred and twenty one bee, Baker Street.

Stamford (To Watson): Yes. He’s always been like that.

The tiny little difference in the phrasing of this interaction, which I have watched in its modern iteration upwards of eleventy kabillion times, definitely twigged something as I was watching TAB the first time. It certainly doesn’t take much to connect the dots, though, once you put the two scenes together and consider their context. 

We’re inside Sherlock’s Mind Palace, and he’s just been reading about his first meeting with John Watson on his phone (textually stated in ASiB to be a representation of the heart). We’re about to watch the gayest 90 minutes of television ever committed to film, and yet somehow the general population will still be able to believe that John and Sherlock are just bros, just as they have been able to for 130 years. 

Heteronormative assumptions will stubbornly preclude any reading of Holmes and Watson as lovers for a whole big swath of the viewership, even when their actions are most easily explained by romantic feelings between them. When Johnlock finally becomes canon, it’s going to be a game-changer for the way these characters are read in all previous and all subsequent adaptations of their story. They will finally be out, and it will be impossible to shut them back in the closet again. Why is that? 

Originally posted by tea-and-umbrellas

Because the writers are playing the long game, and their entire argument is laid out by Stamford when he facilitates the first meeting between the most famous and culturally-pervasive queer couple in the world. 

Sherlock Holmes is gay. He’s always like that. He’s always been like that.

And not only in the BBC version written by a gay dude and his friend the plot-twist guy. Always. He was gay in the original ACD stories, and he’s gay now, and he has been in love with John Watson in every permutation of their story ever set to page or screen. 

Not revolutionary, by any stretch of this fandom’s considerable deductive skills, but maybe a nice little clip for the news shows to use when Mofftiss finally blow the doors off this big gay circus.

anonymous asked:

CAPTIVE PRINCE AND THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA AU NOOOO NOW I NEED IT it's literally the perfect au omg

the perfection of every single devil wears prada au only serves to drive home the fact that dwp is one of the gayest films ever made and really should have embraced that fact instead of guiltily taking the third exit towards heterosexuality city

by which I mean YES I AGREE

nikandros: you need to quit! this job is ruining your life! JUST BECAUSE HE’S BLOND DOESN’T NEGATE THE FACT HE IS A DEMANDING ASSHOLE.

damen: he’s not that bad! ok yes he is that bad. but he needs me!!!

this au would be raised to perfection if the fact of the regent continually trying to kill laurent was kept intact. there could be poisoned lipstick samples involved.

When Salty Heimish met Ginger Dad, a fucking brilliant headcanon by @iamjohnlocked4life

Ginger Dad bumps into Salty Heim and an absolutely nerdtastic meeting of minds ensues, the likes of which the world has never seen! And then Curly Dad gets jealous, because he thought their train chat was special but nothing can ever rival the gothic horror levels of pure pleasure you two experience during your fated encounter. And then you two produce the gayest MR James series of films ever to grace the silver screen. And Curly Dad is just So. Jealous. Like, he keeps coming back to Ginger Dad and reminding him, hey, we made The Abominable Bride, that was pretty gay, right? Good times? And Ginger Dad is just like…yeah, okay, but tbh it could’ve been gayer if we had Salty Heim on our crew.

(And then I chime in because I’m too excited to contain myself anymore: can you imagine how on point the subtext would be??? AND SO MANY DICK JOKES, DICKS EVERYWHERE)

OMG Heim, the backdrops of every scene would be rife with dicks! Like, the actors would be tripping over all the phalluses. It would be an occupational hazard written into their contracts"Not liable for injury by excessive set piece dildos"

(me again:) Possibly the only time in the history of man when the excuse, “it was an accident, i just tripped and fell on his dick” is actually possible AND THAT’S HOW WE GET CANON JOHNLOCK

Listen, guys, I would give you canon johnlock by literally having one of them trip and fall on to the other’s dick, you are welcome