the gate: not the idea of the thing but the thing itself

lockedinmybody  asked:

daliaaaaa could you tell me your fave sterek fics please?? :)

How could you ask me this? Do you have any idea how many sterek fics I’ve read over the years? How many I’ve loved?

This is a short list of the very few I could think of off the top of my head. I think I’ll probably make a recs page, because I’ve been meaning to for a long time. I have a recs tag, but that includes different pairings as well.


Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!”
Derek raised an eyebrow at him.
“That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress.
Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.”

(Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

The Price

Stiles must surrender the most important thing in his life to protect the town… and no one can figure out what it was.

Around The Bend

The first time Derek catches sight of the new yoga instructor, Stiles is in the middle of showing a class how to do downward-facing dog. Derek walks into a wall.

Things don’t exactly improve from there.

Derek can’t stop staring at Stiles, the bendy new yoga instructor at his family’s gym. Stiles thinks Derek’s a repressed homophobe who hates Stiles for making him want the D. They fall in love.

can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful

“Be cool, Dad, we’ve decided to con Grandma.”

(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Keep reading

at last (i see the light)

Summary: Of a tower, a missing prince with the sun in his hair and the ability to heal with a touch, and a terrible-dangerous-very-bad bandit who’s never been altogether good at being very bad, dangerous, or terrible.

An AU based off of Disney’s Tangled.

Nico di Angelo grows up with stories of the prince lost to time.

Keep reading

lurkeymclurker  asked:

Can you tell us about the Empires propaganda machine?

Later, after, in all the holonews segments and all the long ‘net articles furnishing further analysis, they—and here ‘they’ is vaguely defined, reporting is is too scattershot in a galaxy marked by lightyears and hyperlanes—will not be able to pinpoint the place where they went wrong. Where it was all tipped from earnest republican v. separatist reporting to laying the groundwork for imperial v. everyone else. When they stopped, or when their blades met with armor they couldn’t pierce, or—

But by then it’s too late. It’s too late, the Empire is already wound itself through every word spoken and every reference made; it’s in everything, a dark undercurrent of emotion and justification—don’t you love the Republic? don’t you care about other galactic citizens? don’t you want to follow the laws and reward those who have justified their existence as you have justified yours? you have worked so hard, the day is long and the rewards few, why would you give those to others? why would you share?

(’Sharing’ is a dirty word, under the Empire. To each according to his strength, that is the Imperial motto. But ‘strength’ is a narrow gate, and it cuts many off at the knees, the ankles, those unguarded places—)

There is no question that human beings are afraid of difference they have been afraid of that since whatever primordial swamp they crawled out of but—they have always put it aside, they have always at least pretended to the idea of recognizing other species, the claim of xenos to homeworlds. the equal right of existence. Et cetera. Never mistake how hard human beings will try, when confronted with tentacles, if there is profit or benefit in ignoring any difference.

But humans also reproduce like orburs in spring, and they colonize, multiply out into the galaxy like a plague. Like a—spore. Like something biological and not, because nothing in nature moves without regard to the animus they generate. And they are a tetchy species, measuring everything in relative value. It doesn’t matter if—

Luke does not stop to question the holoradio adverts he hears, the faded propos papering the Toshe public hall, saying ‘JOIN THE EMPIRE TODAY! FLY FOR THE EMPIRE! BE BRAVE BE TRUE BE STALWART!’ Anywhere is better than here, right? Get closer to that bright center and anything is better—

(It is still hard to find that bright line between the Republic under the tyranny of the Clone Wars and the perpetual state the Empire embodies. That is just how these things go.)

Leia is on the first line of defense for the Rebellion, she watches propos and listens to senators argue, quoting lines from holodramas—ironically, but also as illustrations. (She learns very young that a well-told story, even fictional, has quicker legs than one badly told and true. She disapproves, but that is the way of things.) It is amazing how many late Republicans would have supported he Empire despite explicitly stating they did not support the Empire, its agents, or any move toward a less democratic structure of government. It is amazing how weak it makes them seem, given what she knows about the inner workings of the capitol. It is—

Han is good at finding cantinas where, if the Imperial propos cut into he grav-ball match, everyone groans aloud. He smiles a little against the curve of the mug as everyone curses out the poor bastard who has to—

(Han always feels a little bad for him. Her. Whoever—he knows what it’s like to have your neck under someone’s boot, to know you don’t really have choice in this. At least he’s busy smuggling, can’t be much a spokesperson that way.)

The Resistance does not have the access the Empire does, but the Rebellion has feed hackers, holonet ‘ware corrupters. The Alliance blasts every inbox with public reveals of complaints, salaries, donations. Saw Guerra’s people de-encrypt transmissions, and release them to the ‘net in vicious anarchic fashion. (Make of it what you will, that Tarkin sent a transmission to Krennic saying ‘stop being so gentle on your workforce,’ after Krennic’s 12-hour days resulted in its first overworked, dehydrated, malnourished death.)

Regional reporters dump their findings onto the holonet, saying, look at what the governor is doing, we buried the jedi but we found, we—

look, they say in unison. look at this. you are not alone. you are not crazy. something has shifted, something significant has changed and you are not alone in thinking this. We are here, together, and this is dangerous, this is—

you are not alone. you are right, your perception of the world is—there is an objective reality, and they depart from it. you are right. you are sane. it is the galaxy that has gone insane in the interim.

“Senator?” the holonet reporter asks, when Mon Mothma falls silent, and she is smiling down at the podium. “Senator, if you could—”

“According to the study conducted by the Galactic Agency for—” she begins, and the briefing room falls so quiet she is afraid she has lost them. But there is a holonet reporter in the first row who has pressed her hand to her mouth, even as her eyes are wide, fixed on Mon’s face; and out of the corner of her eye, Mon can see Leia Organa (so much Bail and Breha’s daughter, even now) pressing her lips together, her eyes shut. And this is good. They are good, they are better. Here is the study. Here is the definition. Here is the closest she knows how to get to objective reality.

She justifies. From the root word, meaning justice. Meaning to make right. Meaning, more than what is what is available on the surface, more than what is unquestioned. More. 

So much more.

Just Shy [Tim Drake x Reader]

Requested by anon: “Could you do one with Tim where the reader is really shy and because of that people think she’s a snob but Tim and her get paired together on a project or something and they get to know each other and he finds out she’s not really a snob”

A/n: I hope you like this! I made it a bit fluffy lol. 

Warning: Mentions of bullying.

_______

You have never been a person who has wanted to be the center of attention. Being the center of attention makes you uncomfortable, often times you prefer to just keep to yourself in the back of the classroom. People may try to attempt conversation, but your shyness just makes you clam up even more.

Many of your classmates think you’re being a snob or feel as though you think you’re better than them. But they couldn’t be more wrong, if they attempted to get to know you and be patient with your shyness, they’d learn you’re just not good around new people, when you are more comfortable around people you can actually be rather outgoing. However, no one has made that attempt. Making school a living hell.

Group projects were your worst nightmare, meaning the words “You’ll be in groups for this assignment” made your blood run cold. Your Physics teacher just announced you’d be making rockets out of water bottles, the groups were groups of two. Dread grew in you as the teacher began to list the pairs.

“Finally the last group will be [F/n] and Tim” the teacher announced, glancing you saw Tim Drake looking back at you, a kind smile on his face. You didn’t mind him, he’s always been nice to you. He’s even stuck up for you before when some kids were talking shit about you. You didn’t witness it but heard it through the gossip of the high school.

As soon as the teacher finished the explanation of the project the bell rang. “Alright everyone, this is due by Monday. Have a great weekend and stay safe.” Your teacher yelled as students began to file out of the room. It being last period and everyone was eager to hang out with their friends.

Packing up your things, but noticing the figure come up in front of you. Peering up you saw Tim standing there. He smiled at you, “I guess we’re partners.” You simply nodded in response, your books hugged to your chest. “Um, if you’re not busy today we could start on the project tonight.” he offered, unsure of how you’d respond.

“I uh.” Your voice was barely audible. “I don’t have plans”

“Alright, will it be okay with your parents?” He asked, nodding in response he grinned wider. You could tell he was excited for this project, Tim was probably the smartest kid in the school. This was right up his alley. “Awesome, I can give you a ride if you like? My ride should be here.” Tim pointed out of the classroom door.

“S-sure” stuttering before he lead you out of the school. You followed him up to a black town car with a older looking man standing outside of it.

“Hey Alfred” Tim called as you lagged behind him. “Hello Master Timothy, are you prepared to return to the manor?”

“Sounds good, oh and Alfred this is [F/n] we’ve been paired up for a project. She’s coming over and we’re going to work on it.” Tim explained while gesturing to you. Alfred’s eyes fell on you, “Oh, it’s a pleasure to meet you Miss [F/n]” he nodded to you. Though your voice caught in your throat as you diverted your eyes. He seemed a bit shocked at your reaction, but Alfred must have known it was due to shyness. He smiled at you softly, “No need to be shy Miss [F/n], we don’t bite. As long as you steer clear of Master Damian.” Alfred said as Tim let out a laugh. Your eyes widened as you looked over at Tim worried. “Don’t worry he’s kidding” Tim assured before showing you into the car.

You watched out the window as the car drove out of the city. Blocking out the conversation Tim was having with Alfred. Nervously you fiddled with the hem of your skirt or the button of your uniform. You felt as if you should say something but just couldn’t, you were scared you would say the wrong thing. You’re currently in a town car with the handsome son of a billionaire. What were you going to say? You’re simply the the daughter of working class parents who is going to Gotham Academy on a academic scholarship. This isn’t really your normal.

Tim noticed your nervousness, he always heard from classmates that you’re a snob. Though you don’t seem that way. A snob wouldn’t have averted Alfred’s gaze the way you did. A snob would’ve rolled their eyes at his gesture, you just.. shrunk. Tim doesn’t know much about you, only that you’re smart. Second in your class, him being the first. He always had found you intriguing. You’re an unknown variable that he could never solve by just observing you. So, the minute you sat in the car he decided he would make it a mission to get to know you better.

When Alfred pulled through the gate of the manor he noticed you tense. The sheer size of the manor was enough to make you uneasy. What are you going to do about its occupants? Tim cut into your nervousness, “Don’t worry it’s not as intimidating as it looks.”

“Says the one who lives there” you whisper to yourself, catching Tim off guard. You didn’t mean for him to hear it, and he realized that you didn’t notice he had. Though he felt you must be getting a bit more comfortable for you to say something sassy. Hell, he’s barely heard you speak. After putting the car in park Alfred opened your door, you held onto your bag strap tight. Anxiety beginning to fill your body.

Hesitantly you followed Tim up to the door. Alfred left again in the town car, saying he had some errands to run. He pushed the door open only to hear the sound of arguing. Tim showed you in before looking in the living room to see Dick pestering Damian as Jason sat by laughing. “What are you guys doing?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Grayson will not stop his incessant singing!” Damian yelled glaring at his oldest brother. Dick only began to sing ‘Hakuna Matata’ even louder. He must’ve recently watched Lion King. Jason just laughed, enjoying the pain this was inflicting on Damian. Though they were both shocked when they heard Dick come to a stop, following his stare behind Tim.

“Oh my god! Tim brought home a girl!” Dick cheered, making you jump. “Wow Timmy Bird didn’t think you had it in ya” Jason teased.

Tim’s face caught fire at his brother’s comments. “It’s not like that!” he yelped, embarrassment flushing over him. Your state not much better. “Well you should make it like that, she’s cute!” Dick whispered with a wink. Tim only groaned before facing you, “Sorry about them, we can work in my room” apologizing before showing you up the stairs.

You were embarrassed yes, but for some reason you were beginning to feel more comfortable. Maybe it was because of the fact you weren’t the only embarrassed one. “Sorry it’s a bit of a mess” Tim said before throwing some scattered papers on his desk. You took note of the amount of coffee cups he had scattered around. “I-it’s okay” you answered, only with a slight stutter. Hey! Progress!

You cleared your voice, deciding to face your shyness a bit. “S-so, you like coffee I see.” Tim was caught off guard, were you making conversation? He smiled before chuckling, “Yeah, my family thinks I have a problem. Do you?” Asking while placing his bag on his desk. You shrugged, “Sometimes.”

“So uh, let’s get started” he said while pulling out the assignment and his laptop. Hesitantly you sat next to him. He began to explain different designs and ways to make it go the farthest. You both fell into a rhythm. Beginning to become comfortable with him, your amount of talking increased by the minute. It didn’t take you both long to hash out an idea and begin to building process. You were done by the time Alfred was back from his errands.

Alfred came to the door at one point but heard you both talking. Deciding to leave you be he let you both continue. You and Tim had gotten to talking about things outside of school, learning a lot about each other, and that you have a lot in common. But he was waiting to touch on a certain subject.

“Hey, um, I mean you don’t have to answer this but [F/n] what makes you so shy?” Tim asked curious yet uncertain. You looked away, hiding your face from him. “I um. I was bullied in middle school, vowed when I got to high school I wouldn’t do anything to get myself picked on again. Gotham Academy didn’t have any of my old classmates so I just didn’t attempt to make friends. I was scared if I did history would repeat itself.”

Tim nodded in understanding. “I get it, but [F/n] you’re really amazing. You’re smart and talented, you shouldn’t be afraid to be who you are. I mean I’m smart to and people are usually kind.” He smiled, trying to reassure you.

“People are more comfortable around you! You’re smart, and funny, and cool, and good looking.” Blurting out without thinking. Immediately embarrassed you covered your mouth blushing. His face was just as crimson, scratching the back of his neck nervously, “You think I’m good looking?”

Blushing more you threw shyness to the wind and nodded. “I uh I do. Sorry that was weird for me to blurt out. I guess I’m just not used to talking.” laughing nervously. “Oh no no don’t apologize! I um, I actually feel that way about you.”

“You do?” asking him astonished. He chuckled at your shocked expression, “Yeah I do. What would you say to doing something this weekend? Since we already have the project finished.”

“I um” smiling sheepishly “I just.” You looked up at him, meeting a hopeful look in his eyes. Gulping down your nerves, answering “I would love to.” He allowed a wide grin onto his face, nervousness flushing out of his system.

You both were grinning at each other before a knock on the door interrupted you. “Master Timothy, dinner will be ready within the hour. Should we expect Miss [F/n] to be joining us?” You and Tim exchanged a look before you spoke, “I uh, I should actually be getting home soon. My parents will be expecting me for dinner.” Your more comfortable tone catching Alfred off guard.

“I will happily give you a ride to your home Miss [F/n].” Alfred smiled at you, happy to see you’ve come out of your shell. “Master Tim I suggest you prepare for dinner and for tonight” Alfred said before going to get the car.

You packed up your things before pulling your bag over your shoulder. “I guess I will text you” Tim questioned, walking you to the front door. “Yeah, I’d like that” smiling shyly at your feet before he opened the door for you and allowed you out.

He beamed when closing the door. Looking into the living room to see Dick and Jason smirking at him, “Timmy’s got a date” Jason teased as Dick laughed. “He took our advice for once, and now he’s got the girl. We should have an advice column”  Dick looked over to Jason who chuckled. Tim just shook his head and rolled his eyes, “I hate you both.”

"Rogue One" May the Fourth Rewatch

Because I still have feelings about this movie.

Those goddamn tragic Ersos. I can’t deal with them.

I ship myself with Cassian and his leather jacket of moral ambiguity™.

Still not into the whole Bor Gullet thing, sorry.

God, Lyra hated Krennic so much, but really, Lyra, join the club (maybe you were president).

Uuugh, Cassian’s face when he saves Jyn by shooting the Partisan rebel who’s about to blow her up with a detonator. CAPTAIN NO CHILL. I am constantly emotionally compromised by that man.

I’m so sad for Bodhi and Baze as they watch Jedha destroyed. This was their home. Both Riz Ahmed and Jiang Wen do such an amazing job showing that unnamed grief on their faces.

Kaytoo has the slickness of Han Solo a la “uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

“Baze Malbus was once most devoted guardian of them all.” I need more about this!

I have feelings about how Jyn refers to Galen. When she’s trying to keep her distance, she calls him “Father.” But when she loves him, when she’s before his eyes, he’s “Papa.” He dies on the platform on Eadu and he’s Papa again.

Orson Krennic is not a great villain. He fills no omens heart with dread. Af best….extreme aggravation. That said, Ben Medelsohn plays him perfectly, because you know who Orson Krennic is? He’s that coworker/boss that lives and breathes his job, who has no life outside of work, who makes his coworkers’ lives a misery. He’s a company man who perhaps believes more in himself and in his self-importance and his right to rise in the ranks more than he actually believes in the cause or the company (in this case, the Empire) itself. No wonder Tarkin and Vader both hate him so much.

Wet Cassian on Eadu… O_o

I feel that everyone on Rogue One makes up a little part of Jyn. She’s part Cassian’s drive and passion, Bodhi’s inherent kindness, Chirrut’s outsized confidence and swagger, Baze’s grumpiness, and Kaytoo’s saltiness.

Krennic’s whole demeanor on Eadu when Galen Erso dies–when he kills all the engineers except for Galen, when he stares back at Galen’s body on the platform–that’s some Obi-Wan/Anakin levels of “I loved you! You were my brother!” angst. Except less brotherly, if you know what I mean.

Yo, did anyone else notice how Cassian is totally using his bedroom voice when he tells Jyn, “Welcome home”? It’s all low and husky. Nevermind the fact that his face is 6 inches away from hers and he’s leaning into her and she’s looking up at him with the most open and relaxed face we’ve seen the whole movie even though essentially they have all just signed up for a suicide mission.

I’m pretty sure Tarkin decided to blow up Scarif the moment he realized Krennic was there. (See above for the reason why.)

Would Rogue One have at least partially survived if the Rebel Fleet had not arrived and drawn so much attention? Would they have closed the gate? Would the Death Star not have fired on it if Tarkin believed it to just be an isolated incident instead of a full-on rebel attack?

I’m so proud of Bodhi taking charge on the landing pad on Scarif when he calls into the tower and misdirects the Imperials there about the attack–and then directs the other rebels to also call in! Is toughness and bravery keeps showing up in such amazing little ways.

When Jyn gives Kaytoo a blaster and he says, “Your behavior, Jyn Erso, is continually unexpected,” consider this: Kaytoo is a droid who deals constantly in probabilities. For him to tell her that she surprises him is for him to say, “You somehow defy my probabilities and calculations and do the unexpected.” Basically him giving her a friendship bracelet in exchange for a blaster.

Baze Malbus’s face when the the rebel fleet arrives during the AT-AT attack–such relief and joy–it’s not a face he makes often, one rarely seen.

I’m convinced now that Jyn is not, nor was she meant to be a charismatic leader. She can’t convince the rebel leaders to go to Scarif. She doesn’t directly lead anyone into battle. Baze, Chirrut, and Bodhi agree to fight because they have all lost something too back on Jedha, and they want to help. It’s not because she gives a speech or tries to convince them. In fact, she doesn’t directly convince anyone–except Cassian. But that’s what ends up being so key. “I’m not the one you have to convince.” But oh ho, Cassian, you are.

She convinces him by just being her, by having this fire inside that draws him for whatever reason. It lights the fire back inside of him, and it pushes him to defy orders, to gather the troops to go on the mission to Scarif. He’s the one who gives the important speeches, whose silver tongue rallies the troops, but he also takes his cues from Jyn–they work together as a team and as equals. It’s so fucking beautiful, guys.

I do wish Jyn’s last line to Cassian wasn’t “Someone’s out there” but what was in the novelization: “I’m glad you came.”

I don’t want to talk about the elevator scene (lies, that’s all I want to talk about, STILL TO THIS DAY), but yeah, you can see that they’re living this whole life together in those looks at one another.

Every time Cassian smiles at Jyn or calls her name I grow stronger and more powerful, so I can basically deadlift 300lbs now.

Kay really loved Cassian and Cassian really loved Kay and the heartbreak on Diego Luna’s face, lord. Really, all his faces. Give him an award for his face.

How my heart breaks when Chirrut decides to walk to the master switch and Baze cries out, “Chirrut, come back!” It’s because he knows what’s going to happen to Chirrut, and he can do nothing to stop it because it is as the Force wills it.

Do you remember how on Kafrene, how Cassian kills Tivik and just climbs the fuck outta there ilke he’s Spider-man? Yeah, I could believe he’d be able to climb back up the data tower to save Jyn after being shot and falling like, 6-12 stories. Especially if he’s running high on adrenaline and FEELINGS.

“Look to the Force and you will always find me.” *WAILS*

I’ve seen in a lot of fanon over the last few months this idea that Jyn is a runner–when things get too tough, she bolts, that she doesn’t have roots, etc. But Jyn Erso is not a runner. She’s the one who gets left behind–by her mother, her father, and Saw. She runs when she’s chased, but when she cares about you? She’s there until the end. She’s there at the end with Cassian. She could run. She’s hurt, but she could have maybe had a sporting chance to find a shuttle off Scarif, but she takes this half-dead man, this person who is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen in her life, and she doesn’t leave him because he has never left her.

Dark Souls 1: Out of Bounds (Part 2)

(View Part 1)


5) The Unused Entrance to the Firelink Altar

There is concept art from the Dark Souls: Design Works book which shows Andre pushing a statue aside to reveal a hidden path:

There is also an unused cutscene in the game data which shows this statue sliding over:

https://youtu.be/MtJYtHGx2_c?t=56s (starts at 56 seconds end)

While the final game doesn’t actually have a path back there, bear in mind that there is that weird cylindrical structure behind it, which could have been intended to house a staircase.

There’s nothing to see if you clip inside, and I can’t recall if this statue has been 100% confirmed by the devs to be the originally-intended entrance to the Firelink Altar, but given its proximity to Frampt, it would make sense.

But since this is a post about out of bounds content, what do we have that relates to this? 

Down in the Firelink Altar, there is a broken staircase that leads over to whatever this stuff is:

As it is currently in-game, there’s no collision out there, and even if there was, the area is surrounded by an invisible wall so that you couldn’t possibly make the jump.

But there is something to indicate that this area would have been the original entrance. Up and off to the side is a weird cave-like entrance hidden behind the wall:

Stepping out from it would put us over here:

This indicates an unused physical entrance to this area, as opposed to the serpentine transit system, which fits in quite nicely with the idea of the statue sliding open to reveal a path that would lead down here. Furthermore, the map data is laid out so that the Firelink Altar is physically near the statue area of the Firelink Shrine.

Larger images here: http://imgur.com/a/4jGhS

I learned about this from CrestfallenWarrior, he has a video demonstrating it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmtFKlLe1jI

6) Miscellaneous Junk in the Catacombs

Underneath the room before the first bonfire, you can find a couple things beneath the floor. Here I am looking back towards that room from the hallway, with part of the map disabled so you can see it:

Those blobs on the right are candles, the same kind you see nestled in those various nooks in the walls:

You can find a spot by the last door-opening-lever where you can see the VFX for a flame, but it’s not attached to any candle. It seems like one of these should have been moved there:

The other thing seen down there is a set of of these corpse-carrying nooks (do they have a proper name? They’re called “Loculi”, thanks algi!):

There’s also another spot in the Catacombs with an out of bounds object. Far beneath the entrance to Pinwheel’s lair, is a duplicate of the table found in Pinwheel’s room:

Why is this down there? I have no idea.

It’s not uncommon for videogames to hide assets used in cutscenes in out of bounds areas, to avoid having to spend time loading content. One of the first games I can recall finding a bunch of hidden cutscene assets in was Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

For example, there’s one level where after you beat the boss, it transitions to a cutscene in a “completely different” area, where you see your character on a plane. But the cutscene loaded quickly without a loading screen, due to this area simply being underneath the floor of the map. I looked up the cinematic on youtube, and in it you can even see debris floating in the sky above the plane, since the fight with the boss must have left some broken objects behind that the game failed to toggle visually:

https://youtu.be/UcuULvGGoD8?t=11m28s (11 minutes and 28 seconds in)

Dark Souls does this in a couple places as well. In the opening cutscene to the Undead Asylum, you can see a rat scurry by:

That rat turns out to be an object file that is stored beneath the floor of the opening cell (that small black thing in the center):

Also, when you place all of the Lord Souls in the Lord Vessel, the game shows all of the yellow fog gates dissipating. Instead of loading each area with a yellow fog gate, those segments of map are copy/pasted into the area of the Firelink Altar, floating somewhere out of bounds. 

But I’m still confused by Pinwheel’s table, because Pinwheel’s room already has that table in it. So it seems like it could be cutscene content, but it really shouldn’t need to be used for the cutscene in any way. 

MFW (insert witty meme about being confused here):

Larger screenshots here: http://imgur.com/a/uPAxq

7) Nito’s Third Coffin

So this last item is simply well hidden, and not technically out of bounds since you can see it in-game. But I don’t think most people will notice. I certainly didn’t, not without looking out of bounds in the first place.

Nito has those two coffins in his room. His personal coffin, plus that one smaller one to his side:

But wait, can you spot the third? It’s on the far right of the image, hidden in an inaccessible nook. It’s probably even harder to spot in this next image, but it’s dead center in this one:

Clipping through the map, we’re able to get a better look at it:

At first I thought this might have been storage for the coffin that’s used by Gravelord Servants to travel here. But it’s not the same coffin. It looks different, and this hidden coffin is part of the map data while the Gravelords’ coffin is a proper object file:

Plus bearing in mind that the third coffin is visible in-game and not hidden like 50 feet beneath the room, that suggests that it might be an intentional part of the design.

There isn’t a lot of Nito lore out there, but my interpretation is that this hints at Pinwheel’s obsession with Nito, and ties things together with the whole family theme of the Catacombs (the family masks, the statues showing the father and mother/child, and Pinwheel itself being comprised of three bodies inside that garb, each corresponding to a family mask).

If you take a closer look at the skeleton on the table in Pinwheel’s room, you can see that they’re giving the skeleton a Gravelord-sword kind-of-thing for an arm. Like a recreation of Nito:

Since Nito has two coffins nearby and not just the one, it’s evocative of this same kind of family theme. Additionally, pinwheel has three people crammed into it, and while Nito’s family is nowhere to be seen, they could just be piled into a much larger family that Nito built- all combined into his body:

Nito. Not just a bunch of random skeletons, but one big family?

This would also be very cohesive with Pinwheel’s design, where Pinwheel is trying to copy/ steal everything that Nito has done, including becoming a creature out of a family bound together. The black garb itself could even be a cheap way to imitate Nito’s black aura.

I’m sure I’m not the first person to draw these parallels between Pinwheel and Nito, but I’m not sure if the extra coffin in Nito’s lair has been offered up as additional evidence to that hypothesis yet. 

Larger screenshots here: http://imgur.com/a/QDzhJ


This pretty much covers all the strange out of bounds content that I could think of (not counting skybox stuff like the “other burg”, etc). Thanks for reading! If I missed anything, please let me know and I can make an addendum. 

Fairy Tail Chapter 530 Review

It’s a chapter all about Anna… joy let’s dive into, Neo Eclipse

Okay I have an issue with this cover and mainly it’s lucy. Why is she in a sexualized pose? The Phantom Lord arc was actually an arc where she was beaten and tormented and it wasn’t BDSM fanservice. It was actual torture. Easy way to fix this would be to have Natsu and Gajeel in the foreground staring down, then have the robotic castle in the mid ground, and then Makarov and Jose Staring Down in the Background. But on to the Chapter.

We open on Crocus years ago during an eclipse. That was when the eclipse gate opened and Anna appeared in this time line. But she seems to missing some kids.

Okay that’s pretty funny.

Actually here’s a question Toma sees all this but in the GMG arc he never noticed that Lucy looked like Laya and Anna. You think he’s remember seeing as they did something unbelievable and crossed over time. Oh wait, I’m trying to use logic but this poorly timed retcon doesn’t allow for that.

So Anna and Layla catch up and explain the situation. Layla explains how she didn’t want Lucy to bare this burden. Y’know hearing this talk about Lucy and it coming from 2 characters that look like her, makes really angry at the fact Lucy has gotten almost NOTHING to do this arc. I mean christ, it’s not like Lucy’s a main character and these 2 have been flash back only characters who served their purpose in the narrative.

This is weird… Like time travel itself is already tricky and now your trying to see to make a contradiction as if all this is pointless but not pointless. Or is this following the multiverse theory that altering tie makes another universe- And I’m going to stop asking questions.

Oh now you go searching for the flying children, great care taker.

Also again with the king, why did you include this, seriously retcon you’re a pain in the ass already, just please stop making more holes.

So cutting back to the present, Anna explains how in this era there is an anomaly that she discovered…

That was caused by her travel? I guess it makes sense as the plan was to use the dragon slayers to beat Acnologia and this rift in time was a product of crossing time.

Okay Jellal is right how did anyone not notice. Oh wait Anna hid it.

So this rift in time is apparently so strong nothing can exist near in it and in this era of stronger magic nothing can compare to this abnormal magic. Hey Anna, here’s an idea, why didn’t you ask the king for help? Yeah they fear Acnologia too and they know that you’d be on the up and up. Why didn’t you ask for their help with this, it’s essentially a hole in time I don’t know how bright you are Anna but with a whole kingdom working together could probably figure out what this thing is faster and kill Acnologia faster.

The Hole is also apparently very small so you can’t find it easy.

So that’s the plan. Totally not the ending goal of Rave Master.

Or the other option is the dragon slayers, the ones were brought here to beat Acnologia in the first place.

Okay this is where I make a few people scratch their heads on what I say next, this makes sense but I don’t like it. You’re probably curious why I’m so down on a flash back chapter even though having flashbacks are a great way to develop characters. Hell, if you all remember my big break out in the reviewing world was the Irene flashback chapter which I praised the fuck out of. Well, lets compare Irene and Anna. Anna is a character that had no build up that it was possible to be here, only appeared in flash back, and we knew nothing of her character. Irene was a spriggan who were the big villains of the arc, had a presence, and build up before her flash back. Irene’s flash back added to the world and made her as a main villain have more depth to her, Anna being retconned into the present was something that was so easy to explain that the text explanation she gave of how she got here was honestly enough, we didn’t need to see more of it because essentially it would be padding. Another thing that bothers me is with this time spent on something so simple we didn’t need to see it, we’re taking away time that could be spent on characters that do need it, like Lucy. I mean Anna and Lalya are characters who’s stories have been put to rest, we don’t need to know more about them when all it’s doing is reiterating what we already know and won’t impact us anymore in this point in the narrative, whereas characters like Lucy who have gotten almost nothing this arc are still left with nothing. So this whole sequence and back story make sense, but it still is pointless.

Speaking of Lucy, we cut to Magnolia

Oh look Gray is coming to terms to not wanting to endanger Natsu’s life. I’m gonna silently cry for this scene and all the greatness it could’ve had if the whole END and Gray relationship wasn’t botched.

WHAT THE HELL! YOU CAN JUST OPEN IT?! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF TARTAROS?! I mean the whole point of END not being revived sooner is because the magic in the world is so great that END can’t exist but apparently you can open it. I wouldn’t be as mad if not this chapter actually unintentionally made a reason why this is stupid and that’s how we spent so much time talking about this Era having a lot of more magic than in the past. We know in the past END was around, he knew Igneel, meaning he can live in a world with magic just not in an abundance like now.

Okay I complain about Lucy doing nothing, but Gray’s sin this arc is he’s an idiot. He’s not telling his friends about something potentially dangerous. Look Gray has kept to himself before he’s left some characters out of the loop like with Ultear but this isn’t something personal he doesn’t want to drag his friends into but this is the fate of the world he’s not telling them.

We return to the only good thing in this climax, Natsu vs Zeref

The fight continues but Zeref has come to realize that, hey he can’t die.

Yep you heard right people due to all the shit that’s happen to him he’s going to use the power of time to re make the world where he was never turned immortal. Y’know I sound like a broken record but RAVE MASTER! Seriously this is just Lucia’s goals and motivation from Rave, getting screwed over in this world so he considers it a wrong one and wants to go to a world where none of this happened and will use the power of time to make it happen. You can’t get anymore like Lucia at this point Zeref.

Oh god just dye your hair blond and call yourself Lucia at this point.

Again Natsu is sounding like the smart one here, good on ya! Also he seems to be turning into END, well I guess that choice was really pointless as the ones who decide who natsu is are his friends. Also Mavis was a key to neo eclipse. SO Mavis was a way of accessing a power that’ll open the way to using a magic that manipulates time? Well guess we should call her SInclaire now (take a shot if your playing the Rave Master Drinking game). Now Zeref’s master Plan actually does make sense. Unlike Anna’s flashback this actually makes sense of another way to get rid of his curse, as we know, Zeref only hedged his bets on END killing him, still doesn’t mean he can. SO having this back up plan is rather interesting.

As for the next chapter being called “Pegasus vs Black Dragon”, I had a rant for that but I think it best be saved for next time.

Post Chapter follow up: This chapter was weird for me. I can’t really put the Anna stuff as good or bad. It’s doing development but it only treading over already know ground. While it makes sense, we really didn’t need this and just kinda wastes time. Another thing I can’t judge is Zeref’s master plan. It makes sense for his character but it also seems so hollow. Like this is the weakness of having a villain group that’s under developed, we don’t know if he’s been lying to everyone, saying that he needed Fairy Heart to destroy Acnologia or he told them all and they were on board with this. Actually that would be interesting like maybe Irene wanted this new world so she could never become a dragonor maybe August wanted a world where he could be raised by Zeref and Mavis or Brandish who might want in this new world her mother alive.

On the negative side Anna is still negative. I went on a long rant about how she shouldn’t be this teacher because it is ruining the bond of Slayer and dragon, which is sill true but I was still open that from chapters on I wouldn’t be as down on her as I was then. But now, her problem seems to be how her existence is literally causing more holes.

Another thing on the negative is the main characters. Gray you’ve become a fucking idiot. I mean wow. Some people say this is to make Natsu look better but it really doesn’t. While Natsu is still the best thing just for verbally slapping around zeref, my attention is more drawn that Gray is acting very dumb. Lucy as well with this is still doing nothing. This is the final arc, have her do something, now some say Lucy is doing something, she’s the emotional support for the team. I hate that excuse. While Lucy has been the emotional support at times she wasn’t soley just that, she was the heart of Fairy tail. While, she cared for everyone she was still active in fights, coming up with plans, discovering things on her own etc. But now all she’s doing is sitting on her ass either crying or waxing friendship which isn’t Lucy. Lucy doesn’t have to just fight someone to be considered, “something” she could be the one who figures out how to save natsu when he was dying or she could make a way to use the book of END, that would be doing something. But all she’s doing is “emotional support” which is something all characters in this team should have but nope lets just diminish Lucy to just that.

Final negative point is that opening of the book. It doesn’t make sense and what hurts it even more is it makes a way that explains why END can’t be summoned. If he is, you are again lessening Tartaros’s story and it’s END plot.

Good points, Natsu is again the best things this chapter for pointing out this bullshit and trust me that’s a breath of fresh air. Also Yes I’m glad END is still around as a lot of people speculated END was no more thanks to the seed crap.

Another good thing is what Fairy Heart is. Most expected it to be some world ending nuke but actually it’s a way to access time. That is really interesting.

Final Verdict: 4/10

  • There are some things that aren’t bad but just padding
  • More misuse of characters
  • A legit interesting turn
  • Not bad but not good
Saga on Ice - Yuri on Ice Karatsu Tourism Collaboration

Saga on Ice is a special tourism collaboration held by the city of Karatsu in Saga Prefecture, as Karatsu was used as the model for Hasetsu, Yuri’s home town in Yuri on Ice. Saga prefecture is right next to me(I live in northern Fukuoka), and although I’ve been to Saga city I’ve never been to Karatsu. I’ve always been meaning to explore Kyushu some more given how much time I’ve spent living here, and given that this event was going on over Golden Week and @hideoutfromreality​ was visiting I figured it was a good chance. 

What I knew: The Karatsu tourism organization are really excited about Karatsu being featured in an anime and want to take advantage of it with some limited merch.
What I didn’t know: The Karatsu tourism organisation are really, really excited about this and kinda went all out lmao. I was surprised at how much they did to attract YOI fans to the place.

Anyway, I bought a little Viktor with me, so here’s my photo report of the things we saw.

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Thoughts about Spn 12x19

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

First of all TRIGGERWARNING FOR A GRAHPIC DEPICTION OF SUICIDE! If you are sensitive to see such content skip the first minutes until 5:30 (basically what happens is Dagon keeping Kelly as a prisoner, telling her again that she will die and that her son will kill the world. Devasted Kelly kills herself in order to prevent this from happen). The suicide is mentioned again later in dialogue, but I consider this less problematic than actually showing it.

Overall I really liked the episode, mostly because it was Cas-centric. And as many others speculated before this episode was all about Cas future, while 12x10 was about his past and 12x12 about the present. I liked the directing, Amanda Tapping gave us some great shots (though I still think you don’t have to show a suicide simply because it is a trigger to many folks). I am really curious now where the nephilim story is headed and I wasn’t before. They definitely took a spin on it that makes it more ambigious and will now be a huge part of Cas’s fate as well, so we will see.

Speaking off.

Castiel

Even though the episode is titled “The Future” Castiel reminded me a lot of the past, namely season 6 and 8, with him ignoring the Winchesters and going behind their backs in order to do what he thinks is the right thing. The reason he is doing it is because he thinks he fails at everything and that as well is nothing new. Cas is depressed and commits acts out of desperation since… I dunno, season 8? The difference is that in the past he tried to fix heaven and redeem himself as an angel. Now he tries to redeem himself to his family, the Winchesters. The episode made a point to confirm again what he said in 12x12: Sam and Dean are his family now. He corrects Kelvin that what he is doing is for them, not heaven and later when he tells Kelly that he betrayed his friends he adds the word “family” as well, as though he still gets used to this idea. The problem of course is that for Sam and Dean there is no need for Cas to prove himself to them. What they want is to have him around and be honest with him. What Cas sees as his failures is stuff Sam and Dean never blamed Cas for.

In that regard it is interesting to see the interactions of team free will and how different yet again Dean and Sam’s reactions are regarding Cas. (And speaking of team free will: I know this is a popular fandom term, but Dean said it once, 7 years ago in 5x13, and now he uses it again? Or does he think of them like this all the time?) Sam is just glad Cas is back, Dean is not. He is angry, he is pissed and just as in 12x10 he lets Cas know that his anger is born out of worry. Still, he tries to offer Cas an olive branch here, reminding him that they work better together. Just for Cas to leave again and on top of it, to steal the Colt. And sure, not good, but on the other side it gave us Dean slamming Cas into a wall and I myself will be forever gratefull for that scene.

I found the Cas/Kelly-dynamic interesting as well, and before anyone asks, I don’t think there was anything romantic about it. Cas wanted Sam and Dean out of the mission to spare them to kill an innocent woman, but of course in the end he couldn’t do it either. What a surprise.

Originally posted by gifsforthemasses

If anything I think Cas saw himself in Kelly. First when she mentioned that she was desperate enough to kill herself. The pain on Cas’s face… takes one to know one. And then of course Kelly’s believe in a plan, in fate, in destiny. I think it is no coincidence Dean mentioned team free will again, because right now the conflict of season 5 (or rather the whole Kripke era) comes back again: fate vs free will. Cas is our poster boy for free will and he learned it the hard way. He tries to spare Kelly the pain to learn that there is no greater plan and that her human life doesn’t have any value to the forces of heaven and hell. He also offers her a painless death, which reminded me a bit of Dean offering the vampire in 12x14 a painless death. Also, the fact that no human can walk through the gates of heaven without dying… I think this might become relevant again in one way or another this season.

Kelly on the other hand… I think she already trusted Cas before her child gave her a vision of the future. He had the chance to kill her but he didn’t. He listened to her. He cares about her. And the moment Cas asked who is gonna take care of the child if Kelly dies I knew the answer. Real talk: if I had a child I would totally make Cas the godparent. Also “What would Cas do?” is a question I ask myself every day. I think Kelly’s trust in Cas was a reminder to the audience why we fell in love with this character in the first place: because he is the epitome of goodness and kindness. Kelly saw that. And I think her child somehow too. If this episode was about Cas’s future than it told us what Cas’s purpose on this world is: to save it. To make it a better place. (Which of course the Winchesters do as well, but in a different way) And maybe to guide Lucifer’s child to use his powers for something great. Because power itself is neither good or bad, only the ones who use it. And Kelly said herself, no one is born evil. Also:

Originally posted by darkslayer092

The Nephilim

So how sure are we if this child is evil or not? So far we only know it wants to survive. Did he heal Kelly because he still needed her, as he is not ready yet to be born? Or did he heal his mother out of love? Was there ever a chance to kill this child? Would an abortion even have worked? Also, if nephilims are so powerfull why did Lucifer didn’t create on earlier?

Speaking off Lucifer: what is the plan here? He wants to rule over heaven, hell and everything in between with the power of his child? And as it seems the help of Dagon. I dunno if it was just me, but did it seem to anyone else that Dagon and Lucifer had a thing once? I can’t really picture Lucifer with anyone, especially not a demon, as he always looked down on them (well he looks down on everyone, so). He needed her to make sure Kelly is okay and of course to bring his child to him once it is born. But after that? And what was in for Dagon? Was it just that little power fantasy or more? And why did Lucifer had such power over her, when he was trapped in heaven and has no access to his powers? With her dead now we probably won’t get any more answers regarding their relationship.

The nephilim sure wasn’t a fan of Dagon. And that makes me wonder… of the child just wants to be born, he wouldn’t care about Dagon killing Cas or how Dagon treated Kelly as long as she was still alive. But the nephilim took care of both Kelly and Cas and killed the one thing that was a threat to both of them. He chooses his parents in a way. Now the question is if the child can really show the future. Kelly was so convinced she made sure her vision would happen, driving to the sandbox. And now I wonder what Cas saw. Or is the nephilim manipulating both of them? Remember how Sam thought he was talking to God in the beginning of season 11? Just to learn it was Lucifer all along. And Cas behaviour in the end of course gave me massive Godstiel vibes. We will see.

Some other things:

1. THE MIX TAPE!!!!!! You know who does mixtapes for each other? Boyfriends! This was right out of a fan fiction. And just “It’s a gift. you keep those”. Maybe I’m reading too much into this (arghhh who am I kidding here?) but it felt to me as if Dean was talking about something else as well. As if he wanted to say “I gave you my heart, you can’t give it back to me”.

2. Apparently Cas has a room in the bunker. *makesexictednoises*

3. Once again we are reminded that the Winchesters try to find a better way, that this is not the past repeating itself and even though we had a lot of references to past seasons the outcome might be different. And the grace extraction solution might became relevant again.

4. The Colt is gone for good. I’m not really surprised. It has always been too much of a deus ex machina, too good to be true. Not sure if it could have killed a nephilim but even if not every other hunt would have become way more easier and for this show more boring, so the thing had to go.

See you next week!

Love Takes Flight. [R/L AU]

♡♡♡

The airport looked more like a shopping mall than anything Lucas had expected. It was 3 days before Christmas and the deeper he walked, the busier it seemed. The tiles under his feet gleamed white and everywhere he looked he saw people milling around. There were plasma screens of arrival and departure times on the walls. People were lined up at the check in desk with suitcases and baggage while soft Christmas music played in the background. 

In the arrivals lounge there was a curious mixture of bored and excited people. Some looked like they were waiting for a bus, others like they were children waiting for Santa himself. Some lounged on the low comfy chairs and others bounced on their toes. 

There were two glass elevators leading to an upper floor which had the appearance of a food mall. And in the middle of several large open areas were blue fabric covered seats. The air was cool and only the faint aroma coming down from the food area gave it any scent. Some stairs lead up to a viewing deck where eager children watched the airplanes take off and land.

Lucas hurried along the long corridor, looking back every five seconds to make sure his best friend Zay was keeping up with him. The airport halls seemed never ending, he couldn’t help but wonder when they’d arrive at their gate.

“Put some pep in your step, Babineaux.” Lucas calls out, glancing behind him.

“It’s 6 in the morning. You know my brain doesn’t wake up until noon.” Zay groans, dragging his suitcase along.

“We wouldn’t have to rush if you woke up on time.” Lucas reminds him, scanning the numbers on the walls to see if they were getting closer.

“So what you’re saying is, this is my fault?” Zay asks, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.” Lucas replies without hesitation. He comes to an abrupt halt causing Zay to walk into him. “This is it.”

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Why women don't code! (?)

An overview:
So basically the programming industry (and the IT industry itself!) have a MASSIVE shortage of female programming, less than a third of computer science students are female, and less than that actually go into the industry, (in my company in particular there is a 1:4 ratio for female employees to male employees!)

The problem:

we want female coders! Everyone should feel comfortable programming, it’s a great, creative and intellectual skill with so many useful applications. The computer science and software industry is changing rapidly and the need for skilled individuals (both males and females) grows everyday.

The cause (in my opinion):
When computer programming and computer science were first becoming mainstream industries, there were many negative sexist attitudes, the idea that females should play with ‘girly toys’ like dolls and play-houses was a massive concept and the reinforcement of the idea that girls should look pretty with make-up and they should be cooking and baking. At this time all of the negative reinforcements were there, make up to teach young girls they should be pretty, dolls to teach them they should be mothers one day, play-ovens and play-houses to teach them they should focus on home economics. This caused a problem for computer science, at that time computers were widely used to make electronic toys and video games, and because it seemed there wasn’t a market for girls in that respect; boys got bombarded with the advertising. Images and widespread advertising of boys playing video games, video game concepts being primarily for boys (beating things up and killing things wasn’t seen as 'lady-like’) - this led to computing interest planted in the minds of boys from a young age, it was natural to be interested in how it worked and to be excited at the concept of possibly making your own games one day (Shown by the success of the zx spectrum and commodore 64, both of them you could create your own games on - which reinforced the idea of programming in young boys)

This massive focus on males and not females led to one of the biggest downfalls of the computing industry, most girls simply were not interested since computer science hasn’t shown then what it can do and peaked their curiosity and girls that were interested felt like they couldn’t keep up with the interest of boys with one girl reportedly saying 'Yeah, it’s interesting, but I do have other hobbies, I like to relax, you know? Pick up a new skills or something, I don’t dream in code like all the boys do’ which leads to them not completing their qualifications or possibly not becoming part of the industry because they feel outweighed by the devotion of the boys!

Shockingly this still goes on today, the stereotypes of the nerdy male software developer and the iconic figureheads of software (Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc. etc.) all being male, dig these roots deeper, and do nothing to unpick the vicious, sexist and unproductive dismaying plants of software development.

The solution:
We need to focus on females now! We need to destroy the harmful stereotype of programming being for males, teach female only computer science classes, teach it in schools, shatter the 'video games are for boys’ ideal, it’s time equality came to the exciting, ever-changing and developing world of software development.

FINALLY

Request: “Could you do a Alec imagine of being Izzy’s parabati and best friend since childhood and Izzy talks you into going on a double date with her and Simon and Raphael because she knows both you and Alec need a push to make a move and she knows Alec knows Raphael has a thing for you which will make him extra jealous?? And you can’t deny you didn’t have a good time because Raphael is nice once you get past his layers of undead doucheness and you both were sarcastic snarky brats the whole date??”

This has been sitting in my drafts for ages so I decided to finally post it.

REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED.

Word Count: 1384

Clothes, shoes and a range of other items Izzy deemed ‘necessities’ lay scattered across the entirety of my bedroom floor like that first, crisp layer of freshly fallen snow, or perhaps a more accurate description would be that it looked as though the heavens had unleashed an almighty roar and sent waves of snow cascading down in an avalanche.  In reality, Izzy had come barrelling into my room, her arms laden down with a rainbow of fabrics and all sorts of beautifying concoctions that I couldn’t even name.  Somehow or other, I had allowed myself to be convinced into going on a date with Raphael.

I knew I shouldn’t have let Izzy talk me into it.  It was a crazy idea from the start, and I had somehow, foolishly let her convince me that I was doing this to help her out, and that things weren’t the other way round.  It was just so hard to argue with her perfect,well formed, valid arguments.  I mean, really, what reason was there for me not to go?  Apart from the obvious one which was that it would be a date with a vampire, but Izzy had managed to counter that argument faster than those superhuman bloodsuckers could run.  The one and only good reason I had for not going, was that I liked Alec.  I really liked Alec if I was being honest with myself… but Izzy didn’t know that.  Or at least I sincerely hoped that she didn’t.

Sneaking out of the institute was going to be near impossible.  Sneaking out of the institute without our absence going unnoticed was going to require divine intervention.  I didn’t know how Izzy managed it on a regular basis, especially with those terrifying high heels she always wore. Izzy had insisted that I wear something she picked out, and Izzy could be pretty stubborn when she wanted to be.  I supposed it was a Lightwood trait, it was definitely a huge contributor to all of the arguments she had with her brothers.  Her brothers.  If Alec caught us out here he would definitely kill us, if I didn’t die of embarrassment first.  Perhaps I would just sink down through the ground once and for all into my own grave.

Somehow, we made it out.  That wasn’t to say that we would make it back in, because I certainly wasn’t sure about that, but I was sure that Izzy would be able to sweet talk her way out of almost anything.  Or sweet talk somebody else into almost anything.  Like how she sweet talked me, into going on a date, with a vampire, with Raphael.

To be fair to Raphael, he wasn’t an awful date.  Sure, he could be snarky and sarcastic as hell, and had had a good few lifetimes to perfect the art of the perfect comeback, but that didn’t mean he was worse than me.  One of the good things about this constant bickering was that I think it made Izzy regret her decision to invite me along just a little bit.  I caught her rolling her eyes at Simon more than a couple of times throughout our meal at Takis Diner.  Especially when we first walked in.  
“Well hello there darling.”  Raphael had practically purred, his eyes crinkling with mirth as his lips tugged to the side in a smirk in reaction to the glare I shot his way.  
“Hi.”  I replied, stiff as a robot.  Simon stifled a laugh as he reached out to embrace Izzy in a warm hug.  
Raphael offered me a pout, his arms outstretched.  “Hey!  Where’s my hug?”  
“Same place as that Shax demon I banished yesterday, would you like to join it?”   
“I’m beginning to think that might be a better idea than this date.”  
“Good, then we’re on the same page.”
“Can’t you two be nice to each other for one night?”  Izzy interjected with a frown and a sharp glare. 

As it turned out, the answer was no.  Whilst we weren’t being serious, or at least not entirely with our insults and snippy snide comments, they did carry on for the rest of the night.  They continued through the meal itself, while I watched, with morbid fascination as Raphael and Simon both drank glasses of blood.  “Something the matter dear?”
“Just wondering how that stuff can possibly be appealing to you.”  I frowned, glancing at the deep red liquid.  
“Don’t worry darling, I’d much rather be drinking your blood.”  This was said with a deep breath in, which got him exactly the reaction he had desired.  With my fists clenching around my cutlery I managed to snap back with sickly sweetness.  “Well don’t you worry either sweetheart, I’d much rather be spilling your blood.  Guess we can’t all have what we want.”  
“I have to agree, I certainly don’t think I’ll be getting any -”
“Hm-hmm.”  Simon cleared his throat with a meaningful glance towards Raphael who sighed, leaning back with his drink in hand and a roll of his eyes. 
The bickering also continued along the walk home, although I did notice that as the night wore on, and we spoke more, chatted more, I began to like him more.  Not like like him, I was still head over heels for Alec, but I couldn’t deny that Raphael could be a nice guy.  When he wanted to be.  Or maybe it was just that I had wanted to see it before, or hadn’t looked close enough, hadn’t read between his sarcastic lines.  Either way, for somebody who was dead, he certainly managed to make me feel alive.  He managed to make me laugh and smile, and warm up to him little by little, right up until the moment Alec met us at the institute gates with a scowl to rival them all.  

Simon and Raphael got the message straight away, and scurried off into the night, leaving Izzy and I to approach a gently fuming Alec with dread curling in the pits of our stomachs.  “Heey.”  I greeted as I swung open the gate.  “Fancy seeing you here!” 
“Fancy not seeing you two here!  For the last 2 hours!  Where the hell have you been?  And why were you with that bloodsucker?!”  I took note of how when Alec said that, how he didn’t use the plural.  He was referring to Raphael, and Raphael alone.  
“We were on a date.”  Said Izzy with care.  
“A date?!”  Alec all but roared.  “With a vampire?!”  He was looking straight at me now, and I got the distinct feeling that I was the person his anger was directed towards.  Or perhaps it wasn’t quite anger.  Was it jealousy I was detecting?  “Do you have any idea-”
“It was my idea.”  Izzy butted in, her tone as pointed as her stiletto heals.  Hurt and a hint of betrayal flashed across Alec’s face.  
“Why?”  To me, he directed his next comment.  “I’m sorry she dragged you into that then, although you seemed to be having a very nice time.”  Was I imagining things?  To me, it sounded like jealousy, for sure.  
“I did have a very nice time, but I can assure you it won’t be happening again.  Raphael is nice, he’s funny, but I don’t see him that way.”  
“Oh.”  He seemed to pause to collect his thoughts.  “Well, that’s, good to know I guess.  But, why did you go on a date with him in the first place if you didn’t think of him that way?  You know he likes you-”
“Wait, what?”  
“And,”  Alec carried on regardless, “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just ask somebody you do think of that way.”  Alec’s fists were now clenching and un-clenching at his sides as his eyes darted about.  He was thinking about something.  And if I wasn’t mistaken, he was jealous, which meant maybe this would be a good time to finally say what I had been thinking for a while.  
“Maybe I wasn’t sure he thought of me the same way.”
“Yeah, well you’ll never know if you don’t ask.”
“Okay then Alec, will you go out with me?”  For once Alec seemed entirely lost for words.  He nodded, still not uttering a single word, even as his mouth opened and closed while Izzy danced beside me.
“FINALLY!”

you’re now rockin with the champion

Read on AO3 here || Part 1 of 4 || Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: It’s just a job. It’s just sex.

So why is Oikawa feeling more than he has in years for Iwaizumi, a MMA fighter who only cares about the ring?


Oikawa sighs, dropping his head down against his arms.

It’s been another long day.

He can only sit in the same desk, spend eight hours working on the same, boring work for so long before he wants to bash his head against the wall.  

Today is unfortunately one of those days.

He’s sitting at his desk, shoes already kicked off in front of him. He’s loosened his tie, and is breaking the rules by having a coffee cup on his desk, but he really couldn’t care less. He didn’t even take the time to style his hair properly today. He’s a hot mess, and no amount of cat videos, swiping snacks from the staff room or trading jokes via e-mail with his only colleague that he actually likes seem to be able to save him from today.

He’s very busy contemplating life as it is and what poor choices he must have made in the past when he finally gets some reprieve - his phone rings. Not his office phone, the old, ridiculous black corded phone that the office has saddled him with, no, but his personal cell phone. The one he’s shoved in a bright orange case because it makes him smile that his boss glares at it during every meeting. He picks up the phone after letting it ring a few times, to maybe annoy someone in the office with his obnoxious ring tone, seeing that it’s from his college buddy, Kuroo. He doesn’t hesitate to pick up the phone at lightning speed, grateful for a distraction, pressing it to his ear and sighing out a greeting. “Tetsu! Hey!”

“Tooru,” It’s loud, and Oikawa wonders if Kuroo’s at work. “Hey, I have a job for you. Are you interested in getting out of town for a couple of days?”

A job? Oikawa has one, and Kuroo knows that - but he can’t help but be intrigued.

“Out of town?” Oikawa sits up a little straighter. That’s caught his attention. He’s dying for something, anything to change. “I’m listening.”

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GMing 101

So I get a lot of questions from people who want to start their own gaming groups but feel like they don’t have the experience or are too anxious to DM. DMing is a lot more rewarding than just being a player character, imho. You get to be the spinner of an entire cosmos! It’s heartbreaking and hilarious and unexpected. It is also a lot easier than it seems. It basically just boils down to “make shit up”.

Anyway, I thought I’d write a “cheat sheet” of sorts that tells you my GMing mindset, what I find that works, and what I suggest avoiding. Now obviously DMing isn’t an exact science and everyone plays differently and finds different things fun, so if you’re an experienced player and you read something on this list that you disagree with, cool! That’s fine! I’m just saying how I roll, yo, it’s not an attack on anyone else’s playstyle.

This doesn’t really go into any technical stuff, it’s just an overview. At some point I might run a q&a/troubleshooting session over on Twitch for new GMs that’s a little more in depth but only if that’s something people show interest in. Until then though, plz enjoy this ridiculously long post!

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kaptainepik  asked:

How does Te manifest itself in ENFPs? I get how it works in tandem with just about every other type, but I just don't get how Ne and Te work together. Thank you.

(Gif: Veronica Mars. ENFP)

Ne/Te wants to see something for its time, to profit from its ideas, or put them to use in some way in the external world, through inspiring others.

Go watch a few episodes of Veronica Mars. Notice how she’s money motivated: her thought process is – I’m good at sleuthing. I do free sleuthing for my friends. You, however,  can pay me for my time. I get something, you get something, that’s how the world works. Pay up, bud.

Or, go watch a few episodes of Smallville and observe Chloe Sullivan. She doesn’t just want to think about her ideas; she shares them with the world, through her school newspaper. She’s the editor. She gets it out on time. She recruits writers. She sets word limits. She proof-reads. She has and enforces deadlines. She gets on the slackers (CLARK!!!).

My friends called me Chloe for years while the show ran, we’re so much alike.

For me, it works like this:

At work:

  • What is fair in negotiating this sale?
  • What’s the best deal I can offer them without shortchanging our business?
  • What is the likely outcome of this business decision?
  • How can I work around potential problems for the short term?
  • How can I profit from this?

Ne/Te is magnificent at creating rapid-fire fixes for short term problems; it’s excellent at seeing quick fall out and figuring out a way to swing things back around in the Ne-user’s favor. This is terrific when it comes to business deals. See a problem? Deal with it. Immediately. Find a solution. Fix it. Move on. Come up with a new offer on the spur of the moment, especially if their reaction to your current offer is negative.

I once came up with a marketing plan for local businesses on the same street; the reaction of the first two was negative. I showed up at the third having dumped that idea (and all the materials I’d designed for it) in the trash and come up with another one, on the fly, 20 feet from their door.

Also, the example I used my post this morning? About fixing public PR by highlighting a local charity? That was my Ne/Te at work. True story. I saw the crap about to hit the fan and fixed it. Problem solved. Everyone loved the magazine again.

In my hobbies:

  • What do I have to show for my time?
  • How do I intend to share my ideas with the world?
  • What is the clearest method of doing so?
  • How can I reach the largest market?
  • What is “in” right now and can I capitalize on it?
  • Does analyzing this serve any purpose whatsoever?
  • Is doing this wasting my time?

I edit an online webzine, where I:

  • Set deadlines
  • Set word limits
  • Set monthly themes
  • Remind all the writers two weeks before the deadline
  • Enforce the deadline
  • Set up a publishing schedule
  • Edit and proof read all the articles
  • Do some marketing for the articles (Twitter, Tumblr, etc)

(Gif: Chloe Sullivan. ENFP.)

And then there’s my writing. I finish a novel (by working on one book at a time) and then the real work starts, where my Te kicks into high gear and I wind up asking myself tough questions like:

  • Do I need all of these characters?
  • Could I tighten the story by losing some of the characters?
  • Does this back story distract from the main plot?
  • Do these subplots enhance the overall story or detract from it?
  • How can I say this in a clearer, simpler fashion?
  • Can I rearrange the words in this sentence to shorten it without losing the impact?
  • What’s my ideal word count?

Generally, when editing I use my Te for the following:

  • Set a deadline (for when I want to be finished with this project)
  • Divide the work into shorter portions / smaller chunks
  • Delegate a certain amount of work each day
  • Keep a chart of my progress and/or a list where I can track my progress
  • Write down and access lists so I remember to do everything

When editing my last book, I wrote down the chapters, then designated categories in my spreadsheet under each chapter heading for the POV of that character to keep track of each section. As I edited each section (which included a brief read over, rearranging of sentences, making sure the chapter’s sections furthered the plot and had no loose ends, running the section through Pro Writing Aid and checking for redundant words, sticky sentences, poor grammar, passive-tense portions, etc), I would highlight it in pink and write the final word count next to it. By the time I was done, my proof-reader only caught a couple dozen minor mistakes (missing words); I’d been so thorough. (I also came in 6,000 words under my desired word limit, two weeks ahead of schedule since I was so efficient at beating my own deadline. Go me.)

In daily life. Well, let’s use an example. My neighbor’s cat just had kittens and I wanted one. The following things went through my mind:

  • How will my cat handle it? (Hard to tell.)
  • Well, where can I keep the kitten until it’s acclimated? (My office; I’ll install a pet gate, where he and my current cat can see / smell one another, without any risk of cat fights. The wood floor in there will prevent kitty accidents / barf on the carpet. There’s also nothing to scratch.)
  • What happens if they never do get along? (I’ll talk to my dad about taking the kitten in if that happens; it’ll just be next door, I’ll be able to see it all the time. And my cat is getting older too, and mellowing with age, so my chances are good that this will turn out fine.)
  • Okay, so I’m getting this cat. What now? (Find out how old they are / when I can bring my new little sweetheart home. Find out the food and litter it is used to. Make a list of necessary supplies and purchase everything in advance. Buy a pet gate, separate food / water / litter containers, kitten formula, and toys. Buy and put together the new cat tree in advance. Call the vet, find out when I can have my wee little dude fixed and what shots he needs, and make that appointment.)
  • How can I make my cat AND kitten’s introduction stress-free? (Do research on the best scents to have in the house, buy lavender sprays for the a/c, read up on how to introduce cats to one another, designate play times for both so neither feels neglected.)
  • Go get the kitten. Take tons of pictures. Make everyone jealous with its extreme cuteness.  ;)

When entertaining (I throw semi-frequent luncheon parties for fun):

  • Find out the allergies / food sensitivities of everyone in attendance
  • Research for recipes everyone at the table can have
  • Test these recipes weeks in advance and tweak if necessary
  • Shop for party favors after looking up ideas online
  • Purchase any centerpieces and/or make them
  • Make lists of necessary chores (itemized lists of what to do in each room as I clean, to mark off as I go), food preparation and what day it needs to be done on (cupcakes taste better the second day; start ice tea maker at 9am), shopping lists (grouping foods together dependent on the store layout, so I do not forget any items or have to double back), and That Day Preparation (what needs ironed? what needs polished? do I have enough fancy silverware?).

In my house: my organizational skills are crap in comparison to my mother (who is a Martha Stewart-esque organizing genius on her own terms), but here’s the criteria I have for decluttering and household organization.

  • Clothing: Does this match anything else I have? Does it fit? Does it need repaired? Do I even still like it anymore? Have I worn it in the last six months? Could someone else use it?
  • CD Collection: Organized according to genre (movie soundtracks / pop / classical / etc), then alphabetically.
  • Movie Collection: Organized alphabetically.
  • Computer: Folders. Sub-folders. I keep thousands of images stored, since I run an online magazine. I focus on a lot of costume dramas. Guess where they are? Pictures / Movie & TV / Period Dramas / Georgian / Marie Antoinette. ;)

This blog is also the result of tert-Te. You’re welcome.

- ENFP Mod

How “Happily Ever After” Inspires Pro-Activity Through Classic Storytelling

On May 11, 2017, Disney presented its final showing of “Wishes”, a show that has been kissing guests good night for a good thirteen years, enough to solidify it as a favorite among many Disney Parks fan. Right out of the blue, Disney has announced the conclusion of this show in favor of a brand new show that would be on-par with the other state of the art nighttime extravaganzas around the world at both Disney parks and even rival theme parks. This was, obviously, met with a lot of mix reactions as fans both mourned “Wishes” and reminisced about all the memories they created around that show, but were also ecstatic to see what Disney could create with all the new technology and modern stories they had at their disposal.

Just a mere 24 hours after “Wishes” bid us farewell, “Happily Ever After” made its grand debut to near universal acclaim. While there were still many detractors that claimed the show had too much flair too it and lacked the warmth and nostalgic sincerity of “Wishes”, the overall reaction has been beyond positive, with guests quickly embracing the show as one of the best Disney has created in recent years.

As someone who was there to witness its grand debut, I sense that the overwhelmingly positive reaction deals with more than just nostalgia, extraordinary technology, and that trademark Disney showmanship; “Happily Ever After” may just be one of the most inspiring shows yet, presenting us a Disney that celebrates pro-activity in achieving life goals and ambitions through the celebration of classic and modern stories and characters. It’s a show that doesn’t just represent modern Disney as a whole but also the lofty goals and ambitions its guests carry in their hearts and souls each day as they pass through the main gates of the park.

This matters a lot because for decades, Disney has received more than their share of criticisms for indirectly implanting unrealistic expectations about life goals in children; from making ANY sort of dream a reality, despite how impossible they may seem, to obtaining true love with just a dance and a kiss. Critics have stated that setting up high expectations at such a young age may create a frustrated adulthood due to the realization that life-long terms and goals take more than just wishing for them.

Many may balk at the idea of fiction influencing youth, but it has been proven that we are emotionally impacted by the stories and characters we are introduced to, especially at such a young age. We tend to admire fictional heroes more than real world ones. This can become a double edged sword in that while we can gain significant life lessons from these characters, and fiction often draws a lot of inspiration from the real world, we can also take them for granted and only see them at surface level (ie, they are pretty, they gain what they want, therefore it’s what we want, too).

Disney’s modern-day productions, though, have caught onto that, and have slowly evolved to represent that; films like “Frozen” have celebrated love beyond just between a man and a woman, showing us a female lead that becomes queen without being forced into marrying a significant other. “Moana” also showed us a young lead that endures a dangerous journey to save her home. Even Merida from Pixar’s “Brave” represents the universal bond between mother and child, something that has been presented in fiction as the evil queen and beautiful princess trope in fairy tales.

These stories have shown us how far we as a society have come; we draw far more inspiration from characters that brave the worst just to get what they want out of their life, often facing many failures before reaching success. That’s not to say that Disney’s classic staple of characters like Snow White and Cinderella can’t be inspiring. On the contrary, they also teach us that compassion and forgiveness are very important. But their stories are, if you were to ask a modern scholar, are about being a passive participant in what you want out of life. Not necessarily a bad thing, but don’t represent what audiences believe in nowadays or what society as a whole wants out of them.

With all of that being said, what does all of this have to do with Disney’s two nighttime shows? Well, “Wishes” represented the passive Disney that once told us that believing in wishes and faith could be strong enough to make things a reality, all drawing inspiration from Walt Disney’s masterpiece, “Pinocchio”. The show relished itself in its nostalgic and innocent views on life, with beloved characters wishing out loud their biggest desires, the key word being WISHING, not proactively getting out there to make it happen themselves.

As stated earlier, Disney has shown more progress in how its themes and characters are presented to a more discerning audience. With 2009′s “The Princess and the Frog”, Disney finally stated that it takes more than wishing to make dreams and goals a reality; it also takes courage, determination, sacrifice, and most importantly, pro-activity, and that sometimes even that doesn’t guarantee success. So it makes more than enough sense that a new fireworks spectacular would reflect that new, forward thinking Disney, and “Happily Ever After” more than succeeds in that regard thanks to a mix of characters, themes and songs that beautifully reflect that.

The following WILL contain spoilers for the show, so if you are saving your viewing of the show for a future park visit (which I highly recommend witnessing in person as crowd reactions add so much to it), the spoilers will be presented right after the cut.

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So Much Left Unsaid - Lucien/Tamlin fic

*** This story follows on directly after ACOWAR so needless to say there are spoilers throughout. ***

Lucien and Tamlin haven’t spoken since the events of ACOWAR, and somebody has to be the one to break the stalemate. Too many words remain left unsaid, but can their friendship be salvaged? And does either of them want it to be?

Thank you @rhysand-vs-rowan / @all-we-can-be for being my beta reader once again; your thoughts and opinions are always an incredible help! xoxoxo

Find me on AO3


Guilt is a powerful emotion.

It is all consuming, like a great dark monster that suffocates the light and slowly tears the soul apart. It is a wretched thing.

I have had more than my fair share of guilt during this long life, but none that hovered over me with such relentlessness as the guilt I felt now.

Tamlin.

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Belief systems in The Testament of New Ezekiel and Temple Gate

I wanted to analyse some of the belief systems in Temple Gate, particularly The Testament of New Ezekiel. This does not exclude Val’s beliefs as their narrative is entwined with what made the Heretics. The Gospels of Knoth are a tricky business because they follow Christian imagery and certain Abrahamic formats, however, they are pretty disingenuous in many ways with Christianity and other Abrahamic formats. 

This is evidenced by some of the imagery present and the words used. In fact, I think some Youtuber and Tumblr users specifically pointed out that gospels used the words “cunt” too much than actually proper sentences/words. Seeing “cunt” is a slang we can definitely see how this is a cultish text far removed from usual religious language, motifs, lexicon and imagery. Similarly, a point I wanted to mention and adjoin from the beginning is the phrase “breach hell’s cunt” is similar to Outlast’s “spirit breach.” I mentioned this before on another post. We can definitely see the use of semantics, contexts and lexicon favours a Murkoff setting and ambience rather than a traditional or even free-thinking Christian setting. 

This post is long and I want to try to understand the Gospels of Knoth; so bear with me pals. We don’t get the gospels in chronological order, there are 15, so I tried to place some things chronologically.  In conjunction, I want to include Val’s journals and such as Val, like Marta, is an indispensable figure in understanding Knoth’s gospels and also The Testament of New Ezekiel. 

In the very first Gospel of Knoth there are these lines:

6.For the seed of Prophet shall root the Enemy, that the Prophet may strike down with furious vengeance the bastard of lies begot in his own sin cleansed by his own blood, spilled of his own issue.” Knoth 1:6

Basically, Knoth is supposed to be the father of the Antichrist of Temple Gate. Though, definitely, the entire story is contradicted by Lynn being the mother. Lynn hasn’t slept with Blake in months. Unless, Knoth did something Lynn can’t be pregnant. Also, Blake is called “The Spiller of foul seed”, “rut-mate” to the “devil’s whore” and “The father.” Basically, the belief system definitely has literal problems rather than semantic ones. 

Also, Knoth is “elected” prophet by “the blood wept in revelation” (1:2) which is completely strange and is not there in Christian Faith or Abrahamic tenets. Furthermore:

4. O. Zion, Zion, thou that stonest the prophets sent unto you so that your house is desolate and the blood of your ill-got children is sprinkled upon the earth to feed the wheat that fattens your brood for slaughter.
5. For all flesh is grass to fatten the sacrificial ox or sacrilegious calf, O Ba’al, O El, O Guaglana, O Moloch, but grass left to wither and fertilised with blood will to seed and spread
.” Knoth 1: 4&5

Well, you can see basically infanticide is stated in the very first gospel. And now we can understand why Blake coming to Temple Gate meeting the shadows heard them speak “All flesh is grass to fatten oxen. Sacrifice. Sacrifice.” by one guy and then Corgan, the guy who says “I’ll bleed you in the yard”, goes  like “Consume the flesh, spice it well, burn the bones.” It is like they are performing a cycle of killing and infanticide to please their “god.” Additionally, the carrion of animals is considered to be food for “the wheat” as well, making them kill anything, after the tribulations to the end of days start. Marta herself talks about this, I believe, as “the saviour’s wedding supper.” which would be filled with “flayed carrion” and rotten women. 

Knoth’s second gospel is pretty much reiterating this message. It talks about the holy mission of killing the antichrist as important. That any other understanding is antithetical to this mission on the grounds that “the line of Adam corrupted beyond salvation by the line of Cain” (2:3) which is also antithetical to regular Christian practices and also Abrahamic tenets. It talks about not being overwhelmed by lust and to be ready for the antichrist who is also described as such: “defend His Heaven by the spilling of the heart’s blood of the spider-eyed lamb, The Enemy, the unborn prince of lies.” (2:6) Reiterating that the people of Temple Gate are good stating: “ye holy, for I am holy.” (2:7). 

The Third chapter is actually about Sullivan Knoth’s awakening. Basically, he was, as Outlast wiki also states, 34 years old and in debt and residing in Albuquerque. Knoth was apparently a shoe salesman when he started hearing the voices. However, these things also happened to him:

13. And I silenced the voice and looked, and beheld unseen a great fire enfolding itself in the brightness of the rising sun, and out of the midst thereof a color out of space;
14. And my frenzied eyes cast back in unworthy gulfs of darkness, away from knowledge unbearable to man, and noise of the fury of the Lord came upon me;
15. And my ears bled as the member of a child at circumcision, and the Lord made known by this our covenant is made which ye shall keep.
16. He that hears where words cannot be spoke shall abide until time is no more, and the Enemy born of thine own issue shall be thy charge for my vengeance
.” Knoth 3: 13,14,15 & 16

Sound familiar? It should. The light and the noise part, as gamers we experience as Blake. The rising sun cloaked with an obscure light, well, Blake faces that in the end and is swept away in some place. That is probably Murkoff’s way of indoctrination and showing levels of indoctrination. The Third gospel pretty much explains levels of indoctrination by Murkoff’s Towers. However, we can only piece this by the end as things happen gradually to our protagonist Blake. 

The fourth gospel pretty much commands Knoth to do his duties. One particular paragraph:

6. Turn ye from your evil ways, turn ye from your unsired rutting, take not pleasure in women unmarked by their natural blood covenant with the Lord. but fuck and multiply as the act was designed by the Lord.” Knoth 4:6

The language is coarse. It is also misogynistic. It talks about not sleeping with women, I understand, who don’t wish to conceive as that is “natural blood covenant.” These articles are also pretty isolationist. In the second chapter of Knoth’s gospels there is also that instruction of always being ready to holy purpose and never to stray away from it in idle conversations with family and such. Pretty much building an environment where infanticide and other violations can occur. 

This is also reiterated in the school’s lesson plan in which the aim is stated “The children should fear their duty but celebrate it as a guaranteed entrance to Heaven”: obviously, this is how cults operate. The indoctrination is repeated with the bold title of “ENEMY: Your fear is a tool of The Enemy. God knows best.” Basically, also saying that their lives belong to papa and also “god”, is pretty much like cultist behaviour. Infanticide is a sin in Abrahamic tenets. One statement in the school lesson that completely erases Christian beliefs and Abrahamic tenets is this line: “Abrahamic killed Isaac in his heart.” This solidifies that abandonment by their parents and also by everyone is a religious cause whereas nowhere in Christianity or Abrahamic principles is this stated. It is obviously a belief system that evolved from being indoctrinated by Murkoff;s Towers. 

Knoth’s fifth gospel follows on talking about their awakening. The light that he sees is:

1. And I looked, and a gyre unwound from the night, a fire turned inward, burning from all directions towards the center, and drew the light from the walls of my room so that I hung in a void that shone in rainbows like oil upon a black mirror.” Knoth 5:1

I do like the metaphors in this one so kudos to the creative team. However, if you see the imagery and read the metaphors you will see that some of this imagery is inconsistent with what we define as “light.” It feels almost like a dark mass, almost Walrider like in nature (which Outlast wiki says the developers called “Nano Cloud”). It gives the players some interesting food for thought on what could have actually emerged and what was Knoth seeing. It continues towards the end with a long list of descriptions which I include to emphasize the “Nano” phenomenon:

5. And their faces were innumerable and joined to one another, a thousand eyes and everything a mouth, with wings and jaws inseparable even in sight, and the purpose of the eyes and the purpose of the jaws was both for a more perfect consumption.
6. Thus were their faces, and in the next moment, they were the bones of the Four Horses of the Apocalypse and the bones of the Horsemen, too.
7. And in the moment that followed their faces were the sex organs of angels, and in the moment that followed a bonfire of flame with voices singing in beauty to rend the mind, and in the moment that followed a reflection in silvered glass.
8. For their faces were all of these things at once, and their wings were joined one to another and as they flapped woke to arrest time and I could not take air into my body
.” Knoth 5: 5,6,7&8

As we can see this is where the idea of consumption of flesh and all of that figures so powerfully in Temple Gate. Basically, this is also why everything felt like an inevitable dream but as  stated “not mine.” which is effaced on the Temple Gate town plaque. This is why Laird also believes that the Scalled Messiah will come down in locust wings. Furthermore, this is why Val commented how this all seemed like a message but nothing holy. This could also be why the letter from the cultist Lisa talks about thousands of cocks raping the earth. Abrahamic beliefs don’t necessarily have gendered angels so what sex organs did Knoth see is questionable and brings back the nano Cloud of Outlast. This entire thing also reminds me of Loutermilch demon being a mutilated, mutated demon chasing Blake in another dimension. It brings back the Outlast concept of Lucid Dreamers as well who are heavily affected by the Morphogenic Engine.

The description of the images also happens in Knoth’s sixth gospel. The wheels of Ezekiel becomes reference because the voice(s) pretty much tells Knoth about Ezekiel. Also, there are creatures upon wheels which Knoth sees. However, this part got me:

6. The rings of the wheels were dreadful, and full of eyes round about them four, thousands of eyes and none of them human, but black and intelligent and shining like the eyes of beasts ready for slaughter.
7. And where the unfaced creatures looked, the eyes of the rings focused, for the spirit of the creatures was in the wheels, and the spirit of the wheels was in the creature
.” Knoth 6:6&7

The eyes were not human and they were black. The wheels were moving and they seem the creature and the wheels were one. A reading of the Walrider in the Outlast wiki pretty much surmises that the nano cloud phenomenon of the Walrider is pretty much something that moves around and can dissipate. Thus, this imagery feels pretty much allusions to a creature like a Walrider in my opinion.

The seventh gospel is amusing at the end because it completely states something that goes against what it has been saying.  What Knoth talks about and the indoctrination that is concomitant with what Variants say in Mount Massive:

2. And the spirit entered the cunt of my mind and made seed there, and I became as the chorus of screams in the movement of the wheels.” Knoth 7:2

This is interesting that Knoth would call his mind a “cunt” as well and almost like Val he is talking about “a membrane seeking penetration” (Val 4) Also he was hearing voices and seeing things that is correlated to patients at Mount Massive.

What is amusing are these lines that come after:

7. For if you worship Me but partway you are as the parent who cuts away the limbs of his child to better love what remains.
8. And that child will die and I will hate thee as a killer of little children
.” Knoth 7: 7&8

For a cult, that rejoices in the “ecstasy of the lord” by blatant infanticide, murder, mutilation and rape I find that to be ironic. However, it seems that children already grown cannot be mutilated. Which could make sense seeing they may already be nullified as the probable antichrist. So, that can be another belief in Temple Gate. 

The eighth and ninth gospels deal with the formation of Temple Gate. The lines that interested me the most is “you have not cut away thine eye, but the scale you took for an eye, and now you may see.” (8:7) and “lord spilled such vision into my split and bleeding orb, as man issuing seed into the split sex of a blossomed woman.” (9:9) The fact he would sexual scenes is pretty much now kind of staple. At the same time in the ninth chapter he stated:

1.And the hand of the Lord took me by the roots of my innards and put a hook in my jaw and lifted me away from the bones of the dead Zion and shit of Publican swine. 
2. And in the murk of outer dark I became as a cloud that covers the land and saw many things:
” Knoth 9:1&2

Knoth is talking imagery similar to the Walrider again. Of being possessed by a demonic like entity. However, it does end with him thinking of the formation of Temple Gate. 

The tenth gospel is interesting because it talks about cases involving women and Knoth’s somewhat “celibate” or unmarried life. Basically, they were pursued by authorities, after all their hideout in Lydia Deagan’s ranch was ruined, if we remember Knoth’s backstory that is online. Basically Knoth took on anyone in his cult:

4. The Lord gave to Ezekiel more wives than brothers, though I turned away none; neither thief, whore, rapist, addict, murderer, pedophile, cripple.” Knoth 10: 4

I don’t know if “wives” meant that Knoth had numerous wives or basically if he meant he was sleeping with people and that  meant they became his wives. Though the women part and the proclivity towards incest is later on stated. Basically, Knoth asked what he can do about getting the temptations to have many wives. Then this was told:

6. It is simply commanded that you take no woman as rival to her sister, do not uncover ones nakedness while the other is alive.
7. Nor take your daughter as rivals to their mothers before their blood or while the elder is alive.
8. And of your wives and daughters you will have your greatest warriors, in wimples with weapons that censer.
9. And it shall be yours to multiply, to make children upon a legion of women, and children upon those children, and upon those children, until your line is a nation.
10. For from your nation the Enemy shall emerge
.” Knoth 10:6,7,8,9&10, my highlights.

I highlighted the parts where incest is addressed as lawful in The Testament of New Ezekiel. Incest is outlawed in Abrahamic tenets and Christian Faith. Knoth practices sexual practices with every women who are even wives of other people. As one cult member I heard say in the barn, after we pass the first cornfield, talking about parentage of children: “I knew you was mine even if Papa furrowed your mama.” Basically, this is completely against anything Abrahamic but Knoth is told by the voice to do so. So, Murkoff wanted incest and this sort of sexual practices to happen. Perhaps, as I mentioned before, to allow the “ecstatic rage” and “proximity to death” as Rudolph Wernicke once stated. In fact:

2. And I gathered my disciples, from the land of Al-Barquq, and the town of Holy Faith, and from the impotent apocalyptans in Los Alamos.” Knoth 10:2

Los Alamos is where Wernicke’s exit interview occurred in the 60s I believe around the time Knoth was also leaving. If you think about it, this converges aspects of Outlast and Outlast 2. 

The eleventh gospel begins with another imagery. Though, it is of the antichrist:

1.The fruit of destruction shall ripen within the foul womb of the martyred mother, the spider eyed lamb shall bring judgment of the lesser whore onto even the great whore who sitteth upon many waters.” Knoth 11:1

Basically, this could be the reason Marta calls Blake “the spider-eyed lamb” as Lynn is the “martyred mother.” Whoever brings the person who is supposed to bear the antichrist becomes the spider-eyed lamb. This could be anyone who is connected to the martyred mother.  Lesser whores and greater whores: reminds me of Val personally.

The gospel keeps on going on how there will be people who will have “strong delusions” but these are all lies. And, those who do fall for them will be damned. This is somewhat like Abrahamic tenets but also completely perverted. The “delusions” that the cultists face are all for the towers. They may be “lies” or gateways that don’t matter to our own dimension but they can be dangerous so the cultists wanting to discuss them as Val stated was considerably smart thinking. Another perversion:

9. For God has said the flesh of beast is yours only in sacrifice to me, even unto the flesh of your offspring.” Knoth 11:9

Of course, infanticide cannot be compared to making meat religiously edible. Thus this is total corruption of Christianity and of Abrahamic principles.

Chapter twelve talks about the coming of the antichrist but it is completely replete in pretty chaotic imagery and also contradictions. Saying to “harden thy hearts and thy hands, and sharpen thine blades” (12:2) so that they can finish the “bloody work”. What is disturbing is this is mentioned:

4. Fear not the dreams that walk outside sleep, that by which ye shall be imprisoned and tortured; that shall dredge from the prisons of thy memory of your unrepentant sins…
7. And the air shall be as thick with locusts as will choke thy breath.
8. And ye shall be ravaged with boils and sickness; your body a temple and city to pestilence, and thy sex will wither and rot as flesh for carrion bird
.” Knoth 12: 4, 7&8

Some of those things did happen for the radio signals of The Towers and the syphilis. It seems Murkoff had some way planned this or hypothesized, as the Old Traveler document showed, that the parallax and the feedback loop would definitely augment homicidal, hypersexual and chaotic thoughts. 

The contradiction is “for all things must die when God finds no perfection even in his own perfection.” (12:10) This goes against Abrahamic principles and pretty much shows that “god” can only be Murkoff getting rid of its Subjects and Projectors after their use has been done. 

Chapter Thirteen talks about heretics coming about and also the “hated of God, shall commune with the Enemy, shall bathe in the seed of the spider-eyed lamb” (13:5): Which pretty much sounds like Val’s orgy. Though, because it was already determined by the Old Traveler that Jenny Roland and other scientists predictable lascivious and voracious sexual appetite for the feedback loop this can explained by that. 

The 14th Chapter states some things that are clearly carried out in the context of the game showing that signals may have had some of this information:

1. And in the moments before her birth the Antichrist shall wake, eve in in the womb, and her woe and misery will bleed and corrupt the earth.” Knoth 14:1

The antichrist is a female child and Lynn also thought she was having a girl. This is interesting, Perhaps, a patriarchal, incestuous cult would consider a woman to be the harbinger of destruction. I wonder if Val, to celebrate this occasion, also made breasts and a vagina on their body out of mud (this could also be them reclaiming their intersex origins or showing they are trans woman). Val also wore “crowns of the earth” as in crown of thorns on their head. Could be a desire to be enveloped by the antichrist. Thus Val seeking penetration by a female antichrist is both a non-gender normative imagery and also a queer one. 

The gospel continues with some of the things that were already happening: 

6. And the angels shall be carrion birds, who feast upon the flesh of kings, the flesh of mothers, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and them that sit on them, the flesh of free men and slaves.
7. And if they feed on the flesh of that damned child, then heaven is yours.
8. But if the child draws breath; if the eyes of the antichrist are allowed to take in the light of the world, they shall  swallow the light of the world.
9. Then death shall reign again, and the endless suffering shall reward those who revel in suffering, and endless regret shall torture the righteous in the immedicable regrets of sin and shame
.” Knoth 14: 6, 7, 8 & 9

The game pretty much fulfills these prophecies probably because they were bound a bit to happen or theorised as such. There were already birds dying as Blake saw them around. Marta also talks about the lines about eating the flesh of kings and strong men. The unused dialogue that talked of Val’s death talked about them happy about going to a hell thus “revel in suffering.” In the end, the child is not completely real as Lynn says there’s nothing there. However, Blake sees the sun being swallowed up and is swallowed into the gateway with Jessica where she says she will never let him and go and knows he won’t let her go either. So, Blake could have succumbed completely into the alternate dimension made by the radio signals. Perhaps, that is what happened. 

Personally, Blake’s own history coincides with the gospels. Loutermilch also thought of Jessica as a culpable figure though being obsessed with her like anything. If radio signals talk about antichrist as female and all of that there is a chance that the belief of such things is Blake’s indoctrination to the signal being passed onto Jessica. I still think The Towers may create demons that walk out of dreams to also torture and get rid of possible “variants” outside the engine. Blake still could have become a lucid dreamer. The thing is the heretics and cultists are still pretty much bound by these visions and gospels which are all courtesy of Murkoff.

The fifteenth and last gospel is just an adherence to these gospels saying that they should be copied exactly and their lives should be lived righteously under Knoth as “ye shall climb the tree of life or be crucified upon it.” (15:7)

Already, we can see detractions from that. Either the radio signals are getting choppy after the storm or people are losing it. The New Gospels for instance are a sign of such a detraction. The new Gospels talk about Val and includes Val’s name into it, mixing it with the leader of the heretics and condemning them to damnation. The New Gospels Part 1 and 2 are a rewrite of the 11th gospel of Knoth. 

There is also “Laird’s Gospel” or “Gospel of The Scalled Christ.” It is the gospel Blake picks up after escaping crucifixion and being buried alive. It seems Laird also fancied himself as a prophet or saint. Basically, there is also sexual imagery there which talks about Laird’s mind being too tight that the Lord’s penis would probably split it with the knowledge. I am not kidding you. That is exactly what is written there.

17. And the Scalled Messiah shall rise from the grave, conquering sickness and conquering death, and those afflicted shall call him Immanuel. 
18. And the Scalled Messiah shall say: this is my flesh, eat of it and be healed. Whoever eats of my flesh shall have eternal life.
19. And they shall proclaim the glory of Laird, who lead them to salvation
.” 
The Gospel of the Scalled Christ 17,18 &19

It is completely obvious that Christian Faith or Abrahamic tenets do not speak of cannibalism. Laird got that on his own. ‘

In the midst of all of these things, Val ‘s journals are a secret. We know that paper is considered a  luxurious commodity of Temple Gate. That only when copying the gospels they could be used or when some other instructed purpose. Val being a deacon has access to paper and is well educated. Their grammar, syntax and imagery is pretty salient and goes with the person they are. Val’s journals touch me at first as very emotional and moving. One can read them and realised they are looking at a person with a lot of emotional energy and intelligence, only they are becoming exhausted.

The first journal talks about having to take care of more children, seven to be exact. They are taking care of more than forty orphans. 

[W]ho love me desperately, as only can a child abandoned by the parents they thought were as natural and dependable a fact as the rising sun. And I love them. As I will never have children of my own, and have so much love to give. When God leaves them, too, I will be there with comforts and guidance.

What do these dreams mean?” Val 1

We can see already that Val is a kind and compassionate person. They are able to understand that what is happening to the children is unfair. However, Val’s journals also show the contradictions at Temple Fate. This first entry implies that either Val is infertile, told to be celibate or has been castrated. There has been no specifications about this. Was Knoth the only person who was able to have children? I don’t think so. So if Val is intersex it can be reason for them not being able to have children though if they were castrated it seems to go against Temple Gate’s understandings of birth and order.

The second journal is a horrific account of infanticide. 

March 9

   A quiet sky. Six more of my own children (though no blood of my own) met the blade this morning. I wept as at the slaughter of the issue of my own loins. I cut Marcus’ throat deep enough for the knife to scrape against spine, but still he was writhing on the pyre. And Papa smiled and sang about gathering at the river. All the voices of Temple Gate joined in chorus.

One one voice was absent, and conspicuously so.

God should have answered by now. Whether by words or action. God please give us an answer. Fulfill the promises of your prophet. 

We have sent such oblations into the earth by blood and into the sky by flesh burnt to smoke that this continued silence is a message in itself. Do any love God as I do? As often as I do?”  Val 2 (highlights my own).

This is a very graphic account of infanticide. Of actually feeling the pain of killing children. Val is wondering if “god” can love if “god” wants this. They have loved so much and yet they must do this. It feels barbaric and ruthless and completely inhuman. And, it is.

In fact, the killings always have been hard deaths. Val is not the only one who faced a child “writhing on the pyre.” When Blake crosses the first corn field and comes about the shed with the two cultists in them, one of them keeps on talking, the same one who says they knew the child was theirs if even Knoth slept with their wife says he can hear the voice of the girl he killed and tells her to tell God that he didn’t hurt her as much. The cultists says things like “Some cut too deep and got the windpipe and not the arteries. That makes a long time dying.” and “Laughing. Carrying on. Clear as a bell because I didn’t cut that windpipe.” These statements make me wonder if some of them try to sneak up on the kids and kill them so that they feel no pain or don’t want their children to look at them with questioning or accusatory looks. 

Val’s third journal entry is also from March 9th. Though Knoth tells them that they will find the killed children in heaven; Val doesn’t really like any of this. This obviously starts making them go insane.

But my dreams are nothing but the murder of my children. And I wake laughing, and aroused, and often wet with the involuntary lust of sleep.

I woke this morning thinking I was wetted with the blood of a child’s slit throat. But it was wetness of my own making. 

The others are having similar dreams. We have dug a tunnel so that we may meet in secret. We gather and share our visions and wonder at their meaning,

I feel increasingly this is a message. But nothing holy.” Val 3

I think Blake and us gamers stumble upon the underground tunnel which is one of the first heretics caves we see and Blake thinks is a church or a heretic temple. It seems some people were obviously dumbstruck at what was happening at Temple Gate. Val, obviously, being one of them.

In June 17th, Val’s fourth journal entry, the penultimate one, it is short and full of aroused feelings and figuring out the voices are not God:

Give me pleasure. Fuck me and cut my skin. Burn me and caress me. I am a membrane seeking penetration. Be aroused at my awe. Let my fear give you appetite. I love you, I love you, I love you. Tell me what you want. Tell me your name and I am yours.” Val 4

The fact Val wants to feel the voice with their fear obviously brings back the parameters of the Morphogenic Engine. The different names of the Walrider comes into mind. Val may be listening on a different frequency now. Could the Heretics be a lighter version of the Variants? In theory they have some similarities.

Val’s last journal entry is in June 19th. It is the 5th one before the letter telling Knoth “Come after us. Hunt us down. We are waiting and eager to murder and fuck every body you send up that mountain…My God is no god at all. But he is true…I do not ask you that you join us. I tell you: you will join us. Because our love is greater than you can ever imagine.” So. the last entry was telling val is “filled with sex and appetite” and tells the voice “You love me. I am yours.”

The image here that sticks out to me here is mountain. Even in Outlast wiki the Walrider is thus named also because it is a creature that lives up on Mountains. Mount Massive is built in a mountain thus it creates those connections. Val also has taken shelter in a mountain. The Walrider and mountain imagery seemed to collide. Thus another connection between the trilogy perhaps can be established.

We have seen Murkoff likes twisting religion, it likes brainwashing people using images and radio signals and that it likes to make base camps in mountains. The belief system of Temple Gate: The Testament of New Ezekiel, The Scalled and The Heretics are all groups that adhere in some way to the gospels of Knoth which are indoctrinated “planned” radio signals by Murkoff. It makes sense that these groups are obviously broke off from the same roots.  Even though they borrow things from Christianity and Abrahamic tenets they are not really Christians nor of Abrahamic Faiths. They seem to have formed their new ideologies and Faiths based on also what Murkoff was encouraging them to do. It is interesting, however, to look at the subtle conjunctions between the games.

I wanna THANK EVERYONE who read this entire piece. 

The Secret (1)

prologue; part one; part two; part three; part four; part five; part six; part seven;part eight; part nine; part ten; part eleven; part twelve; part thirteen; epilogue.

5 Years Later…

Parking up your little car outside your tall apartment building, you turned the engine off and reached around to shake the little sleeping child sprawled out on your backseat. “Zo-zo, we’re here!” you said in a hushed voice, jostling your daughter until she started to stretch out and open her big brown eyes.

Your beautiful little five-year old Zoe pushed her chocolatey curls off her face and looked out of the window, a big smile widening. “Is this where we’re going to live?” she asked so innocently, turning to look at you.

“That’s right little one,” you exclaimed brightly, jingling the keys to your new apartment in Seoul in front of her face.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

suga + "i really appreciate you" fluff?

1,090k - oops 

The sounds of police sirens wail in the distance, and it’s enough to signal that you and Yoongi must not have been as sneaky as you both had assumed.

Your eyes widen when you hear them, your gaze finding Yoongi’s. Eyes staring into his. And he tenses, if just for a moment, but he quickly lets it pass, tries to brush it off in fear of frightening you further.

Yoongi and you always prepare for worst case scenario, you both always have a backup plan. You don’t dare step foot in a house that you didn’t know. You both did your research, you both always made sure that the routine would be quick, simple. You’d break in, usually undetected, get what you both had come for, leave and make love in the front seat of his car high on adrenaline and excitement.

It was ritual.

It was safe.

You both anticipated everything.

Silent alarms.

Someone arriving home early.

Locked windows.

But, you both never anticipated that the Koi’s had a dog.

A German Shepherd at that. One that you were absolutely sure was a retired police dog after the bite it had pressed into your ankle.

Yoongi is carrying you to the backdoor as quickly as he can, knowing that the chance of both of you escaping is decreasing by the second, if the police sirens growing closer to your destination indicated anything at all.

He reaches for the doorknob, unlocks it the quickest he can to his capability before carrying you out to the backyard.

And you’re almost there, almost ready to escape. The panic in your being starts to decrease a considerable amount.

That is until you hear the low, “Fucking shit!” That falls from Yoongi’s lips, causing you to look up from his chest, and–

your hopes of getting out of there uncaught are now diminishing, dissipating into thin air before your very eyes.

Because in the midst of you being bit by the dog, you both had somehow forgotten about the tall fence that surrounded the Koi’s yard.

Your heart starts to race quicker, panic resettling inside of your being.

And Yoongi’s then carrying you over to the next thing he sees: a patio table.

“Give me a second, Y/N. I’ll get us out of here, don’t worry.”

And then he’s rushing to the gate door, messing with the lock and when he doesn’t open it, your panic only starts to raise.

“Yoongi?” You sound a moment later, extending your wounded foot to the ground, you had barely applied any pressure, but it was still enough to make you whimper.

The whimper causes his attention to fall back onto you, and then he’s rushing over. “Baby, baby, stop, okay?” He rushes out hushed, the police sirens had silenced, making it known that they were now somewhere in the house.

“I’m sorry Yoongi.” You say, tears starting to fill your eyes. “It’s because of me that we’re gonna get caug–” He interrupts you then, his lips pressing into yours quickly, and for a moment you forget about the impending doom you both are about to face.

The kiss is enough to calm you, enough to make your eyes close, enough to remind you that everything was going to be okay. That you both were going to be okay, whether your parents found about your extra curriculum activities or not.

And it was going to be okay, because he was Min Yoongi, and he was yours. And he loved you.

You loved each other.

He breaks the kiss a moment later, his hand moving to your cheek, palm pressing against the skin, the pad of his thumb moves to wipe away the tears that had fallen from your eyes.

And he stares directly into your eyes when he speaks next.

“I really appreciate you.” He says, “You know that right?” His other hand moves to a long strand of your brunette hair that had fallen from your pony tail at some point in the night. You nod your head, not quite understanding why he’s speaking what he is. He tucks the hair behind your ear slowly, taking a step backwards.

“And I love you.” He says softly, the tip of his nose pressing to the tip of yours. “I love you so much, you mean the absolute world to me.”

“Yoongi–” you interrupt, suddenly growing uneasy, because his words – they are starting to sound like a goodbye. “Why– why are you say–” And as he takes a step backwards, it dawns on you.

Your eyes stare directly into his as he takes another step backwards, your hands falling from where they had been intertwined with his own.

By now you can hear the muffled movement coming from the inside of the house.

They were going to be here anytime.

“Yoongi?” You question, because the idea of him leaving you there was just so preposterous.

But he doesn’t reply as he takes another step backwards, growing closer to the fence.

And it’s then that you realize he wasn’t heading in the direction of the gate, but rather the fence itself. Meaning, the gate hadn’t opened, and he knew that if he wanted to escape without being caught, he’d have to escape alone.

Even if it meant leaving you behind.

“Yoongi.” You state, as tears start to fill your eyes, and if the hysteria you feel wasn’t evident in your voice, then you’re positive it was in your facial features, because he looks down, ripping his eyes from yours, as if the sight of you crying hurts him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I hope you can forgive me someday. I-” he hesitates. “I love you so fucking much.”

And then he’s turning around, running to the fence as he starts to climb it.

And he’s leaving you.

Doing the one thing he promised he’d never do.

And you’re left screaming his name, screaming your frustrations out, because you were going to get caught anyway, it didn’t matter if you were loud in that very moment or not. You watch as he climbs the fence, as he doesn’t dare give you another glance as he jumps to the ground on the other side, and you can hear the brush of the bushes moving as he runs away.

As he leaves you sitting there, unable to move because of the pain coming from your foot.

Which was certainly broken.

But the pain coming from your broken foot was no match for the pain coming from your now broken heart.

-

A/N- This was certainly not very fluffy, I’m sorry but it’s what came to mind! Let me know if anyone wants me to expand on this or something! Also, I did not edit this at all, so I apologize for any mistakes!!