the funny thing is that i totally wanted this but it's not like i was going to ask for it

Chemical Infatuation

summary: in which peter and the reader are paired up to work on a science project together and go to her house to work on it. (fluff)

word count: 2,256

A/N: this is actually my first ever fic on tumblr ! i hope that you like it and feel free to drop by and tell me how you feel about it! i also accept requests if you have something that you’d like me to write !!

Keep reading

Let’s start it off with the one and only, the canon pairing of a sad sk8er boi and his tiny baker: Jack Zimmerman/Eric “Bitty” Bittle!

Ice Crew Please!

THE FIC THAT CHANGED E V E R Y T H I N G u don’t even KNOW oh my god

u read this and u r like: “ice crew au…?? wut” but U GUYS. READ IT.

I AM. BEGGING U. its so fucking funny but also so fucking meaningful and abt CREATING A Fa mILY !!!! and LoVe!!!! and frieNDShIP!!!

p.s i don’t want to spoil it but if u read it message me and ill talk to u abt the part that made me cry like actual tears bc thank god for friendships and acknowledging that shit is hard

the messes of men

this was… in it’s own way.. a hard fic to read (which makes it the best fic to read! pain! i love it! help me!) it’s very very very beautifully written and i hold it very close to my heart….how it portrays jack by himself and how hard it must’ve been…it also manages to weave in how mental illness plays its own role, even once you get together with the person you’re pretty sure is it for you. somewhat painful but cathartic and achingly tender.

until it got the best of you

umm bitty has a big dick. that’s it.

BUT then there’s feelings! and angst! and misunderstanding! (the best type too! u know when one is like so crazily in love with the other and thinks its shockingly obvious but surprise, it’s not!) it’s just fantastic!

i never saw the signs

imagine a world where jack jumping over the snowbank, bringing bitty coffee, going on long walks classifies (in jack’s mind) as dating. so when bitty gets asked out, jack cannot believe the b e t r ay a l! we’re dating bitty! just read this and be happy :)

left the city, my family, my precinct

oh my goodness this fic.

jack accidentally sends bittle a dick pick.

:0  ;)  <3 ___ <3 = summary of the fic

mixing it up

this is just….so cute?!??!?! and funny?!??! and 1!!!!!

bitty is contestant at a baking tournament for the falconers where jack and tater are the judges. at least, thats where it starts off.

tater is fucking hILARIOUS this fic in general made me laugh a lot.

strawberry

if u about that dom/sub life well…….just know that eric pins jacks hands to the bed and there’s v intense blushing that boi turns red like a tomato and i live 4 it.

eric is a tad too southern for me but it’s the only thing this fic doesn’t do perfectly :))))

something like this

considering how popular this fic is it actually sat open in a tab for a looong loooooong time just bc…well… it’s 285,748 words. im an all or nothing girl as in i once read the entire maze runner trilogy in one night so i had to find the right time

first of all: angst. second of all: angst. third of all: ….. u guessed it… angst. BUT don’t worry, for every drop of angst there’s a metro-fucking-ton of smut and sweetness :)))) ;))) what this fic does brilliantly is create an OMC that is at the forefront of the story and do it seamlessly. this is a pretty iconic fic and tbh im definitely not one for fics longer than 100k but this was a fuckin’ beaut man

rake the springtime across your sheets

oh god this was P A I N F U L but in a very beautiful way??? (that’s how u know the writing was siCK) ambiguously happy ending but tbh in the end this fic is really just abt the unspoken quiet truth of being in love, of loving, of being human just lke Fffffffuck me up

Phone, Please!

listen. i’m not a fluff person. idk i get bored. BUT. BUUUUUT. BUT. this fic.

AMAZING. this fic is all about the details and the little moments that make Bitty and Jack  ~*BittyandJack*~

Bonus favorite line: “Thank god there are pancakes to serve. Pancakes are also very nice, and something he can actually have.”

Winter Clothes

Chowder POV so this is both hiLARIOUS and surprisingly touching. Jack and Bitty help Chowder buy clothes for New England winter. As a person living in New England, I approve this message.

WIPS: *Hate That I Love You plays in the background*

medic, please!

so if u ever played world of warcraft u r gonna love it and if you’ve never played world of warcraft u r gonna love it

this fic is just SO CREATIVE?!?!! like the format of it is B O M B. its just. so good. oh ym god.

(also the name is “medic please!” get it? cuz eric’s a medic in the game.? and check..PLEASE! ugh I’m a nerd 4 this pic

Fainting Psychics and Pessimistic Demonologists

ghostbusters au except not bc copyright

at first i was like…ghost hunters au?? rlly? but now I’m like GHOST HUNTERS AU? B R I L L I A N T.

characters are on point, its funny (an actual line of the fic “Jack sat down at his computer, pulled open a tab, and googled “How to encourage a teammate”. lmao what a mess)

but also theres some mystery and intrigue and suspense and in general this is a Good.

baking is punk as fuck

this is another AU that i was like…punk band u ….rlly? but then i was like PUNK BAND AU FUCK YEAH im a sucker for asshole Jack. i’m not even into punk?? but im into this fic U ___ U

This Don’t Even Feel Like Falling

filed under “praise kink mmmm”

honestly? porn..? “Bitty is the one to tie Jack’s hands for Hazeapalooza; afterward, he ties Jack’s hands for their own private enjoyment. “ like?? I’m not sorry.

but also not established relationship more like fwb but u know and i know and ngozi knows that ain’t the game we’re playing here

around the green and blue

not usually a big fan of soulmate aus but what i love about this fic is the pacing and even tho soulmate aus where seeing your soulmate = seeing color for the first time isn’t totally new this felt super fresh and original!

shine for you

aw MAN this gave me the feeeeeels. established relationship but jack is not out, it’s a bit angsty but the jack perspective is just so gooood

EXTRA: It all started with a big Russian hockey player calling a small cat-loving hockey player a rat. You either h8 it or u luv it. In my case, I Love it, capital L, so enjoy: Alexei “Tater” Mashkov/Kent Parson

careful the tale you tell

Kent has been telling himself a story, ever since the Q. It’s the epic story of Parse and Zimms, and he’s in love with it. // this fic is specifically meant for patater newbies and this fic does an amazing job of showing why kent and alexei just make sense. its honestly a Blessing.

kick on the starter

lmao im gonna be 90 years old and still reccing Febricant’s fics…for real when i saw they wrote patater i was like…no..im dreaMing…or im dead? is . is heaven?? rlly unique approach to how she gets them together and gr8 build up :)))) Bless Febricant

i need to wake up, i need me some love…

honestly? shameless fluff. established relationship (they’re ENGAGED FOR GOD’S SAKE) short but Good

firstly, feel free to request more french masterposts. 
flirting in french; god, how i would love to be smooth in any language.
seriously, if i could neal caffrey my way through france, that would be great. so, this is a masterpost on how to flirt in french. - i’d like to think this is pretty important - as this is part of socializing in any language. flirtation is a very different thing than “picking up.” picking up is a kind of hunting game with a very pointed and invariable goal: to be making out as soon as possible! think barney from how i met your mother challenge accepted. flirtation, at least in france, is a totally different thing. it’s a different culture, a different lifestyle. it’s a way of being in everyday life, and unlike picking up, it has no defined goal. sometimes the french flirt because it’s just delightful to do so. think salt to pepper relationship. allowing each one to check, and at different levels, if he or she still has some charm operating. 

i would say that simple is always best: merely walk up to your chosen girl or guy and say je vous trouve absolument charmante (I find you absolutely charming / beautiful. be classy and to the point. with that and mind, read on!

let’s learn some classic phrases to become a regular femme fatale, shall we?

so; why flirt in french?

  • well, french is a sexy language. not going to lie. 
  • it’s the planet’s most-hyped language of love.
  • reaching that level of fluency feels amazing.
  • it gives you that confidence. social confidence.
  • becoming a smooth talker feels nice. i want to be one, anyway. 
  • tired of searching for love in english? 

french learning and french flirting 

  • let’s face it: in france, (or in any country for that matter), nobody speaks like a textbook, the president, or a language learning site (i’m looking at you, duolingo). it’s great for memorizing the fundamentals, but lacks that extra step that stands between you and complete fluency. 
  • flirting is part of socializing - and linguistically (i don’t know, it helped with me) it improves retention. it’s also just interesting to learn! 
  • flirting is just well.. fun. even if it doesn’t go anywhere.
  • a bit of verbal charm isn’t always necessary : but in my opinion, it helps you sound more natural / at ease / friendly. 
  • i somewhat lack verbal charm (i’m very, very awkward in social situations) so i probably need this masterpost as much as anyone else (: 

the classics: make love last. 
this is based upon what i’ve heard at school / restaurants / bars. 
okay fine: it’s based on the movies i’ve watched too. 

  • j’ai envie de t’embrasser / embrasse-moi - kiss me.. annouce it - make your intentions known! i’d like to kiss you’ - okay, you could just kiss someone instead of letting them know. but i don’t know.. there’s something romantic about it? best with a longing, meaningful stare. 
  • je t’aime: i’m pretty sure we all know this one. best with someone you care deeply for, i wouldn’t say this on a first date - but if you’re the direct type : this can help you get from a to z pretty quickly. 

the simple compliments: short and sweet
using these with a flirty look / tone of voice (as i’ve seen amongst my friends) can do wonders. play with your expression while practicing these: it makes a difference, trust me. you can begin with (oh putain) to make it sound authentic. it’s not (really) a ‘swear word’ and people use it often. best used in an informal setting. example: putain, t’es toujours canon toi ou quoi?

you can also add trop ( = too). example: trop belle, trop mignon(ne).
you can also add tellement ( = so) example: t’es tellement belle!
you can also add si ( = so) example: t’es si mignonne.
you can also use grave ( = totally) example: t’es grave belle. 

  • t’es mignon(ne).
  • t’es belle (/beau), toi. 
  • t’es canon. ( = you’re smoking hot). 
  • t’es con(ne). ( = you’re an idiot) - i’ve seen this used a lot flirtatiously.
  • t’es drôle. ( = you’re funny)
  • t’es magnifique. 
  • t’es charmant(e). 
  • t'es coquin / coquine! ( = you’re such a tease.)

the ‘social and the flirty’ 
inspired by my class facebook chat and group. some of them are direct quotes (:
these can be used as compliments / or flirtatiously. depends on your relationship with the person you’re giving them to. 

  • cette beauté chaton, tu m’ éblouie. ( = you dazzle me with your beauty.)
  • une beauté divine. ( = a divine beauty or: you’re so divine.)
  • ouloulouloulouloulou. ( = you really have to hear this one.)
  • tu brilles de mille feux.
  • j'te pécho. ( = like the equivalent of ‘to pick up someone’ in english). 
  • bg, or beau / belle gosse ( = hot guy, hot girl). 
  • une petite merveille. ( = a wonder, someone to be marveled at). 
  • une bombe. ( = bombshell, someone pretty - same thing as ‘belle gosse’.)
  • le petit côté mystérieux femme fatale je kiffe. - je kiffe means i like. 
  • la beauté à l état pur ( = beauty at its purest form). 
  • dingue! ( = crazy, as in crazy beautiful). 
  • j'ai pas les mots.( = i have no words). 
  • wahhh, la classe! ( = classy!)
  • c’est fou, tant de beauté ( = you’re so beautiful, it’s crazy.)

flirting at a bar or restaurant? 

  • t’as d’beaux yeux, tu sais? the phrase ‘you’ve got beautiful eyes’ pretty much works in any language (though, i think it sounds extra gorgeous in french). the phrase actually comes from a french film called le quai des brumes. fair warning: this is an extreme cliché, : it’s basically the english equivalent of do you come here often? it can be said ironically, if you’re not the cliché type. best with a wink and a devilish smile (; 
  • je peux t’offrir / vous (formal) une verre ? : can i buy you a drink?
  • vous êtes célibataire ? mais comment est-ce possible ? - you’re single? but how’s that possible? 
  • vous venez souvent ici ? - do you come here often? ha, classic.  a phrase that transcends cultural barriers: “ the sentence could be followed up by complaints — about the bartender, about the clients or about how the bar isn’t as good as it used to be. a french tradition is râler, a sort of complaining. finding things to complain about is a way that many french people choose to bond with new acquaintances. this is not true of anyone.
  • t’as une miette (you’ve got a crumb) as you pretend to stroke something off of someone’s face, first with your fingers, then with your lips.
  • tu m’excites ! ( = you turn me on.)
  • “j’ai une première édition de ‘à la recherche du temps perdu.’ tu veux le voir ?” -  i have the first edition of “in search of lost time. (written by proust). do you want to see it?” in france (for me, at least) cultural knowledge is sexy. in America, we often ask if you’d like a nightcap. choose something cultural and intellectual in france, and you’re far more likely to get a oui.
  • je veux te revoir. ( = i want to see you again.) 
  • alors, ça roule? ( = how you doin’ - joey, friends.)
  • excuse-moi. est-ce que t’embrasses les inconnus ? non ? donc, je me présente. excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? then let me introduce myself.
  • excuse-moi, j'ai perdu mon numero de téléphone. est-ce que je peux t'emprunter le tien?“ excuse me, i seem to have lost my phone number. could I borrow yours? 

let me know if you’d like to know more! you can never be too charming (:

Imagine You Won a Cruise in Space

Part 1

You couldn’t believe how lucky you had been! Only six people had been selected in the whole country and you got to be one of them! An interstellar alliance had recently made contact with Earth and offered six lucky people - randomly drawn, of course - the chance for a year long cruise through the galaxy.

You were greeted on the ship and led to a cozy room with soft carpet and cushy chairs to sit in. You had been the first to arrive, but the other winners had quickly followed. As the six of you - three men and three women - sat and chatted excitedly amongst yourselves, you couldn’t believe how swanky this ship was. Especially given it had been designed by other species. Soon, a human-looking man in a suit greeted you all.

“Welcome!” he chirped, with an enormous grin on his face. “We’re beginning takeoff as I speak, but you shouldn’t feel any turbulence. And don’t worry, this ship is the safest the alliance has to offer. And, of course, you will all be well taken care of during your stay on this ship with your new mates!”

“Mates?!” all six of you cried.

“Why, of course,” he stated, as if it were obvious. “Didn’t anyone tell you?”

“Well, it’s only for a year, right?” one of the other women offered hopefully.

“Absolutely not,” your host retorted, sounding almost offended. “All of the species you’ve been paired with mate for life. As I understand it, you humans are monogamous, are you not?”

“Sometimes,” one of the men snorted with a smirk.

Another man appeared confused. “But how could we mate with different species? Obviously there will be no offspring.”

The host rolled his eyes. “You humans are so behind, technologically. We are more than capable of making all of you compatible with your new mates.”

“Aren’t you human?” you asked.

“No,” he replied patiently. “I’m a shape-shifter. And you’re all very lucky none of you are going to be impregnated by my species. Our females are pregnant for five years,” he informed them with a smirk. “Obviously all of you will carry your young for different lengths of time, though. Two of you will be assigned to each species, but even if you have the same species, there will be variance in the lengths of time you each carry the young.”

“Each?!” the three men cried.

“We’re not getting pregnant, right?” a small, pale man asked.

“You most certainly are,” the shape-shifter corrected. He received a ping on a device and a large smile split onto his face. “Okay, each of your mates is prepped in a room for all of you, so after your physical, you can go straight to them.”

You were then ushered off into an examination room as you were thoroughly examined - particularly in your child-bearing abilities. Just when you thought all the poking and prodding was over, you were given multiple injections all over from your neck to your uterus. At first you didn’t feel anything but after a few moments you began to feel…strange.

“Don’t worry, honey,” the nurse - who was a reptilian species - told you in an attempt to be comforting. “Molzon hormones tend to make you feel a little funny, but you’re just fine.”

As she lead you to where your ‘mate’ awaited, you asked her, “What’s a Molzon?”

“Oh, they’re amphibious,” she drawled. “If I’ve read my human folklore correctly, then they’re kind of like your mermaids. Except: instead of a fish tail, they have tentacles as their lower half. You seem like a sweet girl, so I’m sure you and him will get along just fine.”

She stared expectantly at you as you stood outside the door. Feeling as though you were going to throw up from a combination of nervousness and Molzon hormones, you opened the door.

Inside, you saw him and he was close to what the nurse had described. He was a sort of octopus merman with blue-green skin that was shifting color slightly. However, unlike the mermen conjured in your imagination, he a little thick around the middle. It almost looked a little like a beer belly. He noticed you come in and his eyes grew wide as he blushed. “Oh, hi!” His voice cracked nervously. “I thought you might want to have some dinner, first. That’s what humans do, right?”

He appeared unsure as to whether or not what he’d done was appropriate, so you nodded silently as he lead you to a candlelit table - like something you’d see at a fancy restaurant.

You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t really help it. After all, he was an alien species. He appeared to have very little difficulty walking above water with his tentacles and because his tentacles were so long, he was about seven feet tall.

The dinner went surprisingly well, given the circumstances and Zeri, that was his name, was actually a total sweetheart. He enjoyed puzzles and playing musical instruments, and reading. The nerdy Molzon would have been exactly your type…had he been human.

“This isn’t fair to you,” he stuttered after dinner. “I know a female of my species would be much better suited-” But he cut himself off with a slight groan before stuttering out, “Did they give you the hormones, already?”

“Yeah,” you squeaked back.

He began massaging his belly and whimpering. “I’m so sorry,” he cried, before gently pulling you into an adjoining room that had a large, marine pool. He gently removed your clothes and eased you into the pool, before doubling over and moaning in pain, clutching his belly again. Then, as he lowered himself into the pool, he began panting and moaning a little as he tried to explain. “The pheromones…ghhnnng…they make me….hoo hoo hoo….I can’t stop….gaaah!” he gave a sharp cry, continuing to rub his belly, which appeared to be…clenching? “I have to mate.”

Then, he let out a monumental groan before pulling you to the middle of the pool, careful to keep your head above water. You felt something begin to prod around your vagina before unceremoniously entering. You gave a pained cry, causing Zeri to flinch, but he didn’t stop and you felt the appendage slide far up into you, past your cervix, and enter your uterus.

You were trembling from the pain and Zeri continued to stutter out apologies as his eyes watered from the great deal of pain he was obviously in, too. His tentacles held you in place as his human arms wrapped around his middle and he let out something between a groan and a grunt. “Hnnngggg.” His face slackened a little in relief as you saw a large object come out of his body, slowly begin traveling up the appendage he had inserted inside you before it, too, began prodding at your entrance.

“Zeri,” you cried in a panic.

“I’m so sorry.”

The object forced its way into your vagina, eliciting a scream of pain from you as it traveled slowly up to deposit itself in your uterus. The result was a slightly distended belly, while Zeri’s belly looked slightly smaller.

He moaned again, grunting and crying as another came out of him to force its way into you again.

This process continued for the better part of two hours and you were now HUGE - filled with eight of the damn things.

“This is…the last…one,” Zeri huffed, having difficulty breathing from all the effort exerted on his part. He continued uttering apologies as he began to expel the final egg. But this one took a lot longer than the others. “Ggghhh,” he grunted after twenty minutes, before giving out a startling cry as the egg left his body.

As you saw it traveling towards you, you found out why he’d had so much difficulty. The eggs, which had all been about the size of an elephant bird egg, paled in comparison to this one, which was almost twice as big as the others. “No, no, no, no, no,” you bawled, as it inched closer. “Please, no,” you sobbed as it began to make contact with your already sore pussy. But of course, it went in, anyway. You thought for sure you would be ripped in half and die as the ninth one was shoved in, but it made it into your uterus, just as the others did.

“One final part,” he promised.

A liquid began to pump out of his appendage and fill you. Your belly, once misshapen due to the lumpy eggs, began to smooth out and expand even further. You gasped and wheezed through the next few minutes as you were pumped with the fluid.

Then, it was finally over. Zeri, as sweaty as he was, and as much as he panted, helped you out of the water, though his tentacles were far from steady. It was difficult for you to stay upright since you felt as though you’d gained over 100 pounds since entering the water and, looking at your girth, that was definitely possible. You couldn’t wrap your arms entirely around your belly and there was about five or six inches between your fingertips when you tried. “I’m sure your exhausted,” he huffed, trying to keep both of you upright. “I’ll take you to your room.”

Your room was luxurious to say the least. You wanted to shower, but decided against it and just collapsed onto the bed, naked.

“I’ll arrange for some clothes to be brought for you tomorrow that should fit.” He had the biggest look of guilt you’d ever seen. “I’m so sorry,” he cried again, before leaving you alone.

You covered yourself with blankets, painfully aware of your newly distended belly. It was impossible to get comfortable with how angry the stretched skin felt and the extra weight, but you tried to sleep nonetheless. As Zeri had suspected, you were indeed exhausted.

The final thought that popped into your head as you drifted off was: how long will I be like this?

To be continued…

dex has red hair

i have red hair too, which is pretty awesome. and also horrible, sometimes, because being ginger affects so much more than the just the pigment of your hair. so anyways here are some facts about dex and his hair bc i can relate:

  • he’s so pale
    • he’s so pale
    • even when he kind of manages to get a little darker after a sunburn fades, he’s still paler than everyone else’s normal skin tone
  • he does not tan. ever.
    • yeah sure, he may work on a lobster boat all summer, but buddy, i promise you, he’s not gonna come out of it looking nice and bronze
      • (why do people write fics where he comes back from the summer with a killer tan??? no bro, he probably just looks like a lobster. it sucks)
    • his skin just slowly gets pinker until he has a terrible sunburn, and then sometimes if he’s lucky it will turn out a little tanner when it fades
    • he probably uses at least spf 50, lbr here
      • actually, nah probably higher than that if we’re being honest
      • and he has to apply it like every hour
    • ugh and oh my god, he probably gets splotchy sunburns!!!
      • SPLOTCHY SUNBURNS ARE THE WORST
      • basically you think you’ve put sunscreen everywhere and spread it evenly but NOPE
      • random blotches of your skin will just be bright red while the rest is ridiculously pale and you look like you have some sort of disease-ridden rash
      • it has probably happened on his face and it’s the saddest thing
  • he has freckles for dayssssss (especially after the summer because they come back in full force during that season)
    • freckles everywhere
    • in the most random places
    • some are on his lips and on the back of his knees and his elbows and just very odd places
    • its a never ending cycle of freckles fading while new freckles form
    • he kind of gets a tan through his freckles??? 
      • bc he has so many and as they fade they kind of blotch together and make him look tan, but when you look really close you’re just like, oh, those are just tiny dots bunched together, not the actual pigmentation of your skin
    • he has. SO MANY. freckles on his shoulders
      • if you are of the male specimen, you probably go out shirtless in the summertime, and the sun hits you really hard on your shoulders, and thus, so. many. freckles. there.
      • (this is literally the most prominent place of freckles for redhead boys. please ask my brother and all of my cousins)
  • “does the carpet match the drapes?” ;)
    • why do people ask this
    • he gets this all the time, and it’s not just from people hitting on him
      • PEOPLE JUST GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW FOR SOME REASON???
    • and it’s super awkward
    • especially when they don’t match. bc um. a lot of times they don’t. just so you know.
    • “haha, firecrotch, huh?”
      • will wouldn’t find this funny even if it were accurate
  • back to the sunburn thing, it’s nice in the winter when he doesn’t get fried!! JUST KIDDING BC BLUSHING IS A THING
    • yeah anytime he gets remotely embarrassed or flustered, his face is the color of a tomato okay
    • even if he’s not actually uncomfortable, it still happens
      • “dex, nice shirt, man.” ➝ red face
      • “dude, nice assist!”➝ red face
      • *accidentally bumps into someone* ➝ red face
    • anytime nursey says anything ever, his face is red. i promise you this. i know this to be true
  • HE NEVER WEARS RED
    • or pink or orange, for that matter
    • (but i mean he goes to samwell so the red thing is kind of hard)
    • he unintentionally gravitates towards green and blue clothing bc his mom probably accidentally instilled in him that they compliment his hair as a child
      • this is so real. this is the realest, most relatable thing
    • going to samwell was probably super weird bc he had to start buying spirit wear and stuff and when he did, he realized he didn’t own any other red clothing
  • people always make irish jokes or assume he is irish, especially around st. patricks day
    • dex has no idea if he is irish
  • people always ask if another redhead they know is related to him
    • no
  • he has heard every “ginger” joke under the sun
    • no one has ever actually bullied him for it
    • but everyone makes the same jokes
    • will basically mouths the words as people say them bc he knows them so well at this point
    • he’s not actually bothered or offended, it’s just like… dude. he’s heard this before. you’re not being original
      • it’s very boring and a little irritating
    • but if he gets annoyed or doesn’t laugh people think he is a bad sport, so!!! he laughs them off even though he’s very disinterested and wants to tell them to maybe get some new material so they can actually say something remotely humorous next time
    • and he totally knows its not a big deal at all, bc some people have to deal with racist or homophobic jokes, and this doesn’t remotely compare. it’s just… very eye-roll inducing.
  • he gets horrible bruises for the stupidest shit, and sometimes just randomly and he’s not sure where they came from, bc ya gotta love that sensitive skin!!
  • oh and back to the ginger jokes thing, someone always makes a comment about that redhead temper!!
    • which is kind of unfortunate, bc dex kind of does have some temper issues
    • those jokes do not make him less angry either
      • (dex, seriously man. just chill for a sec)

wow this got really long and i could go on forever and ever but yeah basically this is the gist of it. also i’m aware some of this can apply to lots of people but anyways hooray for redheads!!

WOOT BROKE W(b)ITCH HAUL

HEY YOU

YES YOU

ARE YOU BROKE BUT STILL WANNA PULL THE THREADS OF THE ETHER AND DEFY THE ESTABLISHED LAWS OF MAN INVOKING THE ANCIENT MAGICK?

GOOD.

You and I are gonna go S H O P P I N G

But, Semiramis! I just told you I’m broke! I can’t get nice things!

*smack*

WRONG.

The world is full of wonders, one of them being

DOLLAR STORES

Remember sweeties, a witch’s best friend is scavenging.

Open your eyes. Look around. Scout your neighborhood.

But what about the things that I can’t get out on the streets!?

That’s what we’re shopping for!

Now before we move on, close your eyes… then open them again because you need to read the rest of the message… and repeat the following mantra:

THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING BUT MYSELF.

No fancy ingredients, no pretty crystals, no expensive incenses will work better than your RAW HEART AND SOUL.

Mkay?

Now let’s go get some of that good shit.

How good?

Diz gud.

Now, it’s no mystery that a broke ass witch needs to pay a visit to the local dollar stores to get her materials every once in a while, but if you’re like me and live in a place where there are no dollar stores (and there are no dollars either) WHERE TO GO?

The answer is here:

CHINESE IMPORT STORES ARE YOUR NEW SANCTUARY.

These places are AWESOME for a witch on a budget, because they carry EVERYTHING. From toys to art supplies to kitchenware…

AND SPIRITUALITY SUPPLIES.

(That’s where we come in)

Speaking of budget, by the way. Let’s set one.

Say… $15?

FIFTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS. I will take you home with some nice and rare goodies that will spice up your spells.

Let’s go in.

Oooh what a promising start. This here, my friends, are 25 grams of the purest coke Palo Santo wood. Don’t like it in its natural state?

They have it in incense too!

But we ain’t getting that shit. I’m allergic so I can’t burn anything scented or else I… die.

But know they’re there, as well as essential oils, and they’re quite accessi-

WHAT!?

28 BUCKS FOR A BOTTLE OF ESSENTIAL OIL!?

AIN’T NOBODY GOT CASH FO DAT

Nah I’m just kidding. This is the price in pesos, meaning that these oils are *math happens* $1.55 each!

What a D E A L

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE FOR BECAUSE I’M SOON TEACHING YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN OILS.

Also, holy shit…

You HAVE to see the candles aisle in this place.

They have them twirly

Large

Larger

The photo is not blury, you’re drunk

Scented

Scentless

Birthdayful

Oh hellooo thereee~

Twelve candles for $1.94 you say?

Meaning SIXTEEN CENTS A CANDLE?

Adopted.

Don’t let anyone tell you cheap candles don’t get the job done, people!

Plus they burn just as good.

NOW at this point the store was 10 minutes away from closing time, so I had to stop taking pictures to get my ass outta there, BUT

Here’s a look at what we got:

That doesn’t look too good, let’s add a F I L T E R

Those little crochet doilies that will serve as my new altar tablecloths? They were $0.55

But Amis! Those don’t look too witchy, more like what my grandma puts under her vases!

First of all, how dare you.

Second of all, how dare you.

Granmotherly stuff is witchy by D E F I N I T I O N. Embrace the grandma aesthetic, y’all!

Also:

If you’re poor you have to be CRAFTY. Look at that! It has a pentacle now. How long did it take? Literally 30 seconds! Imagine what we could do with a whole afternoon!

Ok, I admit it, that was a fiasco, BUT WE’RE ONTO SOMETHING THERE.

Let’s take a closer look at what else we brought, shall we?

This tiny chest is 7.5 cm wide x 5.5 cm tall x 5.5 cm deep (3 in x 2.1 in x 2.1 in) and will hold my pocket altar. It was *drum roll* $1.70!

I was getting tired of using my mom’s big ass scissors to cut my tiny delicate herbs, so I got myself this pair of snips! Price: $0.55 and they’re sharper than Tom Hiddleston’s style. Plus they serve a multitude of purposes, like shanking a bitch.

A quick stop by the crystal shop that was also closing (pfft crystal shop. Sounds like out of a fantasy novel, love it) yields the following goodies:

-Onyx ($0.55)

-Fluorite ($0.27)

-Snowflake obsidian (hard to get where I live. It’s kinda pricey at $2.20. I recommend other kinds of obsidian or maybe just black glass as I’ve been using until today, it still works awesomely. I got the obsidian because I wanted to experiment with it and my Mentor recommended me to get it, same as the fluorite).

-And the CUTEST little quartz formation. This one kinda defeats the purpose because it was a bit pricey. You don’t need it; any clear quartz will work the same.  It was $4.50 and it was my guilty pleasure of the month. It also came with a free satchel that’s most certainly going to be used with magickal results in the foreseeable future.

More of it because it’s so gorgeous ♥

Back to the fluorite! That shit is large and cheap! Well, you see, it’s kinda ugly because I was part of a larger stone and broke down the middle when they were trying to perforate it to make it into a pendant.

But check this hot babe out

W O R K I T

Coming back from the imports store, I paid a visit to my pot dealer erh I mean my herbs supplier. Got myself some ginger for $0.27

AND THEN

I SAW IT

Maybe they don’t package it like this in your country, but here this little shitty capsule is worth its weight in GOLD.

Y’all know what this is?

This is SAFFRON.

Now normally I steer fucking clear of things this expensive, but when I asked my dealer I mean the vendor she said it was on sale.

This stuff LITERALLY sold by FRACTIONS OF GRAMS. In this case that’s 0.2 grams of saffron, that’s 0.007 ounces. YES. ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO SEVEN. Insert here Bond reference

Retail price? Normally around $8 per capsule (EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS!)

How much on sale?

TWO DOLLARS.

A tip for the broke witch: hunt down for sales. Even if you don’t use the ingredients in your spells, you can still trade them with other witches or with anyone, really.

After this I went home and decided to try out my new candles.

And as I said, if you’re poor, you gotta get crafty!

I cut one of the candles in half. A part went to my pocket altar, and the other half

I used one of those ceramic saucers with the little erh… lower level circle in the middle?

USE CERAMIC. THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT RESISTS TEMPERATURE WELL AND YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.

Melt the wax in the microwave or on the flame and then make sure it stays in the center of the saucer. Then take it out and wait until it cools down (or put it in the freezer if you are an impatient little shit). DO NOT LET IT SOLIDIFY COMPLETELY.

Then you take it out and use a round cookie cutter (or if you’re a cheap ass like me, find something else)

I just used the styling nozzle of my hair drying because F U K D A P O L I C E

Put it again in the freezer and once it’s completely solidified use a spatula because you, my dear witch

Just made yourself a moon wax amulet!

Engrave it with your sigils, place it on your altar, carefully soften the bottom with heat and use it as a seal, the possibilities are endless!

BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE REMNANTS!?

EVIL EYE WARD!

The rest? Melt it again or use it as a poppet in case you wanna cast a spell over an onion ring…

By the end of the day, our haul is:

-Altar cloth $0.55

-Herbs snips $0.55

-Mini-altar wooden box $1.70

-Dozen of blue candles $1.94

-Ginger root $0.27

-Satchel $0

-Snowflake obsidian $2.20

-Fluorite$ 0.27

-Onix $0.55

-Quartz crystal formation $4.50

-Saffron Capsule $2

A grand total of $14.53!

Of our budget of $15 we still have $0.47 that where I live is enough for the bus ride back home!

If we take away the unnecessarily pricey stuff (the quartz and the saffron) we got everything for $8.03!

Now if THAT’S not magick, I don’t know what is!

SOME FINAL TIPS!

1)      REUSE as many things as you can.


2)      MOVE THOSE FEET. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but CHECK SEVERAL PLACES. Find the best prices by checking different stores and comparing.

3)      BE CREATIVE. If you find yourself in need of something you can’t afford, think and find a way to replace it or get it through other routes. As I said, witch trading is a thing!


4)      BARGAIN. There’s no shame in it, people! If you’re dealing with independent merchants and buy regularly/are buying a lot, try to get better prices! Don’t disrespect their business, though!


5)      REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA. Witchcraft requires NOTHING. Except you.

Now go out there and work your Magick!

-Semiramis, the Magpie Witchling

Very Important mcnamawyer/veronamara headcanons that minna franklinshepard and i have been discussing

  • they start dating a few weeks after the whole incident with jd
  • veronica invites heather to watch the movie with her and martha because she wants to keep an eye on her
  • after that they just start spending more and more time with each other (bc heather is a natural follower and needs someone)
  • they help each other out, heather helps calm veronica when things get bad (even if she doesn’t know what really happened, she is always there when veronica needs it) and veronica makes heather feel better when she feels like she’s drowning
  • they have many movie nights and heather always ends up cuddling veronica bc she is a Cuddle Bug
  • one of their movie nights they end up kissing each other (its really sweet and gentle and shy) and after that it’s history
  • veronica is always the big spoon bc heather is so tiny
  • heather tries being the big spoon but it just doesn’t work and her face ends up in veronica’s shoulder blades and they laugh about it
  • veronica always teases heather about how short and tiny she is and is always picking her up and swinging her off her feet. heather pretends to hate it but she actually really loves it
  • no one realizes they’re dating for a while, they’ve been affectionate friends even before then and have been holding hands in the halls as just friends so there isn’t much transition
  • veronica tells her parents when they start referring to her as “your very close friend heather" and veronica’s just like “we’re girlfriends.” and her parents are totally cool w/ whatever makes veronica happy so they’re just like “oh okay dear”
  • heather’s parents are a different story, they’ve never really been fond of veronica bc she’s so weird and she’s from the poorer side of town and is like ten feet tall and laughs really loudly for ten minutes at every funny thing heather says
  • for a while they’re like “i’m sure there are some nice boys around honey” and heather is just like “but I like veronica” and eventually they get over it bc they do want their daughter happy
  • veronica goes to football games to watch heather cheer, she always brings hUGE signs with lots of hearts and heather always picks her out in the crowd. she gives 0 fucks about the actual football game and screams only whenever heather does something and heather blows kisses from across the field
  • one day after a football game someone comes up to heather and asks “why is veronica sawyer so obsessed with you?” and heather just looks them dead in the eye and says “we’re dating” and it seems like within the hour the entire school knows but it’s like totally whatever because everyone is still kind of terrified of veronica after everything that happened
  • heather duke makes fun of them for dating but veronica just tells her to shut up and kisses heather mac in front of her
  • they become the power couple of the school and a lot of people think they’re super cute. they sit at lunch with their arms draped over each other with 0 fucks to give
  • heather drags veronica around shopping which isnt veronica’s thing but she goes for her gf. veronica wanders off and comes back with stuff from the kids section and says it would fit better bc she’s always teasing heather for being so tiny
  • when they watch horror movies heather spends most of the movie with her face buried into veronica’s neck
  • heather makes veronica watch all of the rom coms and she always tears up and gets the sniffles bc “it’s so romantic” while veronica’s scoffing at the cheesiness and how all the movies are about heterosexuals
  • heather doesn’t talk about it but she constantly thinks about how veronica could dEFINITELY pick her up at their wedding and carry her bridal style
  • veronica buys an engagement ring for heather from her own parents
  • she goes in there and is like “i’d like to buy an engagement ring. can you bless me? i mean. can i have your blessing to buy an engagement ring? for your child. your child heather, that child. your daughter. i want to buy an engagement ring to give to yoUR DAUGHTER. I want to marry your daughter please” and she is extremely flustered
  • she has to make sure her parents dont tell heather (when heather has been worrying to her parents that veronica didnt want to marry her and would nEVER propose)
  • and heather’s parents get so excited and they’re like showing her the most expensive rings bc they want a nice one for their daughter and veronica’s getting visibly more and more uncomfortable as the prices go higher
  • they’re like “what’s wrong dear” and she just gets really flustered and is like “these aren’t really…. in my price range”
  • heather’s parents offer to pay but veronica is super stubborn and insists on paying herself so she gets a beautiful and simple ring but heather’s parents still give her a “friends and family discount" 
  • when she proposes she makes sure it’s romantic bc heather is such a hopeless romantic but it’s also simple and perfect and heather nearly faints
  • and heather like gets so excited that she like makes out with veronica for a minute after pulling her to her feet (bc she made sure to get on one knee) and then immediately starts planning like “it should be a spring wedding. who will we invite?! OH MAN I HAVE TO CALL MY MOM” but she totes forgets to actually say yes and veronica just stops her and is asks “so that’s a yes then?” and she’s all teary and happy and heather is like “oF COURSE YES. I’VE BEEN PLANNING OUR WEDDING IN MY HEAD FOR YEARS. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER PROPOSE”
  • and heather keeps going on and on about the wedding and how she’s been looking at wedding dresses for aGES and veronica’s like "oh i’d love to see them” and heather gasps and says no bc they’re not allowed to see each other’s wedding dresses (potential or not) until the day of and veronica goes “i thought i just wasnt allowed to see you in it?” and heather just hushes her and says it will be a surprise
  • veronica is totally noT allowed to help with wedding planning also bc she’ll just be like “I don’t know I wanted something small and simple?” and heather is like “no shh babe you don’t get it I’ve dreamt about my wedding since I was like six years old”
  • they both cry when they first see each other at the wedding, heather is all teary walking down the isle just from seeing veronica on the other end
  • they write their own vows and in heather’s she says “with you, i am a gameshow host” and at the end she really quietly goes “thanks for coming after me”

FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE WOW THIS IS REALLY LONG

The Interview

Requested By: Anonymous

hii, could u write a tom Holland x reader fic with prompts 5, 53 and 57? I’m in love with your tumblr btw🌸

Based off a prompt list linked here

#5 “I made my baby cry!”, #53 “Sit in my lap”, and #57 “You don’t understand, you never do!”

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Description: While Tom was away shooting for Spider-Man Homecoming, he did a few interviews. One where they asked about a funny moment between you and him. He decided to tell them the one time you played a prank on him when you two were training.

Warnings: Just cuteness, it’s super dorky aw

Word Count: 1,654

A/N: Yayyyy! First Tom Holland imagine, I think it’s super cute and dorky omg. I think this imagine turned out really well and idk I just love it ahaha. But fr, I could so see him accidently letting a secret like this slip out bc we all know he can’t keep secrets.

Originally posted by davinaclaires

“Well look who it is! It’s Mr. Spider-Man himself, Tom Holland! Welcome!” The interviewer grinned at Tom, making him smile and give a few waves.

“It’s crazy man, to be here surrounded by all these wonderful people.” Tom gushed, looking around in pure bliss.

You were sitting at home, watching his live interview on TV, laughing at how dorky he was.

You and Tom had been dating for about a year now, you were thrilled when you found out he got the role of Spider-Man for Captain America Civil War, and even more ecstatic when you found out he actually became Spider-Man.

Tom had told you many times how he wished he could be that character, and then his dream came true and you couldn’t have been more proud.

He had been gone for a few months now, filming for his new movie Spider-Man Homecoming, which you were going to drag him to, to watch in the theatres together, whether he wanted to or not.

You were unbelievably proud of Tom, he looked so happy, and that’s all that mattered to you, even if you did miss him a ton.

Your head snapped back to the TV, hearing the interviewer mention your name, a smile creeping its way onto your lips.

This had to be good.

“So, how are you and Y/N doing? Is she at home now watching this?” The interviewer asked, making Tom blush lightly and smile bashfully.

“She’s doing great actually, I love her a lot. It means a lot to me that she’s so supportive and happy for me. She’s the best girlfriend you could have honestly. And yes, she is at home right now,” Tom waves into the camera, making you laugh, “I’m pretty positive she’s watching this, mainly because I told her to.” Tom chuckled, making the interviewer laugh.

“I’m glad you guys are still together and that everything is going well between the two of you.” The interviewer added on, making Tom smile and nod along.

“Yeah it’s great, she’s great, everything is just.. great.” He laughed, motioning to the area around him.

“Speaking of Y/N, I know you two have been together for quite the time now.” The interviewer stated, making Tom grow serious for a moment.

“Yeah, Y/N and I have been together for about a year now, she was there with me when I actually got casted as Spider-Man for Cap Civil War.” Tom smiled, making a heart into the camera, which obviously made your heart melt even more.

Tom was that guy, that even if he was miles away, he could still make your heart flutter, even through a television screen.

“She’s super supportive like I said before, and I just couldn’t be happier.” Tom grinned, running his fingers through his hair messily.

“That’s great, I’m happy for you both. Speaking of Y/N, are there any funny moments you to have together that you’re willing to share?” The interviewer gave Tom a smile, making him laugh.

“Man, this is tough, Y/N always makes me laugh.” Tom smiled, placing his fingers on his chin as he thought about all the moments you two have had.

His eyes lit up, as he grinned at the interviewer.

“There was actually this one moment, Y/N and I were training, it was after we found out I was casted as Spider-Man for my new movie, and I wanted to get a head start on training for it.” Tom explained, already laughing as he thought of the memory.

You on the other hand, were dying of laughter already, you remember this day like it happened yesterday.

“So, Y/N and I were training one day, we were doing an exercise where we were practicing punching, since you know Spider-Man does stunts like that.” Tom laughed, crossing his arms as he swayed back and forth.

“So we were doing punching exercises and I went to you know.. ‘punch her’ and when I did she screamed and held her face.” Tom explained, making the interviewer gasp.

“So of course I stopped and was like ’oh shit! are you okay? oh my god, I made my baby cry!and I quickly took off the equipment to make sure she wasn’t really injured.” Tom explained, covering his mouth with his hands before laughing, as he glared into the camera playfully, making you laugh even harder.

“After I removed the gloves, I told her you know.. come here sit in my lap, and so she did, she was still holding her face, she felt like she was crying and I was really worried I had actually hurt her you know?” Tom laughed, licking his bottom lip as he continued on.

“And then, as I was trying to get her to remove her hands from her face, I felt her start to laugh, and I was so confused.” Tom smiled, shaking his head, as the interviewer laughed.

“I eventually pried her hands away to see she was totally fine, and had gotten me worked up over nothing! I was so frustrated, but she found it hysterical, she was laughing so hard. I remember telling her ’you don’t understand,'  I was so scared I actually had hurt her.” Tom laughed, shaking his head as he looked into the camera.

“But she didn’t care, she claimed that I never do, and by that I mean that I never get her pranks until after she’s done them. You see Y/N is that good of a prankster that she really fools you.” Tom explained, biting his lip slightly.

You were sitting on the couch, laughing at the memory, it was all true, Tom had gotten so frustrated with you, but you couldn’t take him seriously.

You were too proud and full of laughter that he fell for another one of your crazy pranks.

“And the thing is, I always fall for them, I never realize I’d been pranked till after it happens.” Tom laughed, making the interviewer laugh with him.

“You two are definitely a match, the fact that she pranks you that well and you still fall for them shows you two have something special.” The interviewer smiled, making Tom blush lightly. 

“Oh don’t worry, I got her back just as good.” Tom grinned, winking into the camera, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“I don’t blame you,” The interviewer laughed, before looking into the camera then at Tom. “Well, that’s about all the time we have for today, congratulations on your new movie, Spider-Man Homecoming.” The interviewer smiled, shaking Tom’s hand who was smiling back at him.

“Thanks! And thanks for having me, it was a blast.” Tom smiled, waving goodbye into the camera before the interview was over.

You laughed, shaking your head at your TV screen, Tom was such a dork.

Within a few minutes, you felt your phone buzz, only to see you had a text message from him already.

SpiderTom: hey baby did u see my interview? ;)

You: u mean the one where u talked about my epic pranking skills? then yes, yes i did, & I’m ngl i was laughing the entire time

SpiderTom: ur evil you know that? but i love u anyways <3

You: yes, yes i do know >:) & i love u too boo <3

You laughed as you read the next text, a smirk creeping up onto your lips as you replied back.

SpiderTom: you’re going to prank me again aren’t you? :o

You: oh 100%, see u soon babe. ;)

And with that, you shut your phone off, and went to bed, the smirk never once leaving your face.

And All This Devotion (1/1)

Happy Valentine’s Day, @once-upon-a-captain-swan!

Hi, dollface! I’m your CSSV and had so much fun writing this for you. I’ve enjoyed our little chats over the last few weeks and I hope you enjoy the story. I tried to put as many little touches of you in it as I could. 

xoxo,

Megan

****

The knock came at 2:05. It was tentative, barely pulling Killian out of a dreamless sleep and for a moment, he thought he’d imagined it. Fuzzy-brained, he was a second away from chalking it up to a rattling pipe or noise from the street when another knock came, this one more insistent. 

Tossing the covers off and cursing as he kicked his feet free from the tangled sheet, he padded through the living room, throwing the deadbolt and dramatically pulling the door open, ready to give his untimely visitor hell while wearing nothing more than a pair of boxer briefs and a scowl.

The piss and vinegar was short-lived when his eyes fell onto the figure standing in the hallway. 

Her face was red and blotchy with strands of blonde hair sticking to tear tracks. A cheap diaper bag, stretched to the limits and overflowing, was slung over her shoulder, one of those infant car seats designed for carrying at her feet, the baby inside asleep. 

Chin lifting just enough to convey some measure of pride, her eyes wouldn’t rise enough meet his. When she spoke it was to the dog tags resting on his chest.

“We didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Keep reading

Yoongi As Your Boyfriend

so this was requested. also, yoongs would be a great boyfriend, getting that out of the way. also, my friend’s bias is yoongi. get wrecked bish.

request: Can you plz do yoongi as a bf?? ..ur writing is just so good and literally wow god bless👌❤️❤️ 

also, thank you for the compliment ^^ i’m trying my best

here’s my masterlist, and requests are open~

Originally posted by meanyoongis

  • he’s perfect bless him
  • if he’s your boyfriend then you won at life
  • like no joke at all
  • you slayed existence
  • hmm, i don’t think this gramps would be able to strike a conversation with a stranger, so, uh, let’s say you are a friend of the boys but like, not super close with yoongs k
  • he’s the guy who would admire from distance, he doesn’t take initiative, and he’s kind of content with the relationship he has with you
  • ok not really
  • “namjoon, set me up with them” “what? why?” “because i said so”
  • he isn’t as smooth but he gets the message across lmao
  • hmm, i imagine you’d go to a music shop with namjoon and yoongi tags along and suddenly where’s namjoon
  • but it’s okay, you got yoongi with you
  • tbh he seems pretty cold and intimidating
  • but you ask him about some album or artist and his eyes literally light up and he starts rambling and he got this cute lil smile on his lips the whole time and he’s gesticulating and you’ve never seen someone be so excited over talking
  • and by the time you guys are over with talking about music, the shop needs to close so you get evacuated really smoothly but you don’t even realize, you’re still talking
  • you even forgot about namjoon, poor guy he’s 10 feet behind you guys, patting himself on the shoulder bc “great job nams”

Keep reading

its-the-tenerife-sea  asked:

Hello! I have an idea for the ficlet (feel better btw!). Okay: HS AU with popular!Dean and popular!Cas, they're those two annoying guys who make funny (but also obnoxious) comments in every single class, and make stupid, flirtatious remarks to each other like "Cas looks pretty hot today guys" or "I'm totally dating Dean, everyone" etc. Only thing is, they're secretly in love, but neither will admit it. I've had this idea for a while and I'd LOVE for a talented author to execute it.

Aaaahhh it’s been too long since I’ve done a High School AU and I’ve missed it. Thanks for this one and thanks so much for asking me to fufill the prompt! I hope I do it justice :)

AO3

“Please take your seats quickly. I want to discuss your quiz scores so we can go over any questions you may have before the final test.” Ms. Mills said with a stack of papers clutched against her chest.

Dean stretched his arms above his head as he flopped into his usual seat on the third row, next to the wall so he could lean up against it in times of extreme laziness. He sprawled out accordingly, dropping his backpack to the floor and draping his letterman jacket over his seat until the air conditioning kicked in during the middle of class like it usually did.

“Hey, hot stuff.” Dean said with a nod as Castiel sat down in the seat next to him.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel said, barely looking up as he aligned his binder and world history book neatly on the small desk in front of him.

“How was that student council thingy yesterday?” Dean asked, popping a piece of gum into his mouth.

“Absolutely dreary without your shining personality to brighten all of our days,” Castiel murmured, completely straight-faced.

Dean winked as Ms. Mills began talking again.

“Some of you need to look at your notes from the beginning of the year again,” she said as she began passing back the quizzes. “And some of you need to remember that - if you want full credit on the final test - the answer to ‘What are the seven wonders of the ancient world’ is not ‘Castiel Novak’s Ass’ written seven times.”

She frowned when she got to Dean’s desk, dropping the paper on his desk as the rest of the class laughed.

Dean clicked his tongue and made a finger gun at Castiel with another wink.

“Really, Dean? Don’t be childish.” Castiel said, just loud enough for everyone to hear. “We all know that’s not true. I haven’t done any squats in at least a month.”

Keep reading

wv-loseyourself  asked:

Hey!! Can you recommend me some good Klance fics? Thank you

You got it!!!! I’m really picky with my Klance fics so I don’t have a lot, but these are some of my bookmarked ones!

call me, beep me by orphan_account 

one of the best klance fics imo and one of the most popular/well known! the wrong number au we deserve!!!*

i can’t help but want by aknightley

this is one of the first fics i’ve ever read for this fandom and i fell in LOVE. lance gets stranded on a planet and only has keith to communicate with. tbh i’d rec anything by aknightley, they regularly post klance fics and they’re all amazing!!

you had me at merlot by ryamokun

keith and lance become youtube costars and their channel is about cooking while drunk and it is SUPER CUTE. very funny and lots of pop culture refs with pidge and hunk helping out with their channel. 10/10 would recommend

in stasis by ilgaksu

ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS AND FICS. pretty angsty. lance gets hurt during a mission and has to wait and live his life as an AI while he waits for his prosthetics to come online. it’s not a typical langst, because while he does go through a traumatic experience, he ends up being super capable, just needs the help of his teammates. 

ceasefire (series) by ilgaksu

the keith and lance as exes au we all deserve. also one of the first fics i’ve read in this fandom!!!

Let the Water Lead Us Home by LynnLarsh

so i really got a thing for sci-fi fics and that slight angst oomph to it, along with the fluffy stuff. BUT this fic is about lance getting stuck in a dream simulation and has trouble differentiating it from reality, and keith is determined to get him out

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Wedding and pop-corn - Batmom x Batfamily

So I decided to combine those two requests, because they’re very similar, and it’s not my thing to write two stories that are basically the same thing :-). So here for Batmom and Bruce’s wedding and all of that ! IT’S SUPER LONG SORRY !! It’s been a while since I wrote such a long fic…I just didn’t wanna make two parts… Hope you’ll like it

(My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

________________________________________________

-ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ! 

The angry (or rather, annoyed), loud and deep voice of their father stop them all right in their track. It isn’t often your Bruce raises his voice like so, but sometimes, your boys just push him too far. 

Like right now. 

You were all in the biggest living room in Wayne’s Manor, enjoying some family time for the first time in ages ! It was rare that you could hang out altogether outside of the Batcave…

But things weren’t going like you wanted them to go. 

************

You had wished to spent some times with your sons, husband and the man you came to consider your father, Alfred. Watching movies, eating junk food, drinking too much coffee and soda…It started out so well. 

You guys were all sitting in a gigantic couch, with tons of things to eat and drink, and a movie to put on…Unfortunately, said movie was Dick’s favorite, and the young man seemed unable stop himself from saying every lines in the movie before they actually happened. 

You and Bruce were used to him doing that, as he’s been doing it since he arrived first in the house, when he was barely eight years old. The first time he said a line before a character would say it, he looked at you two worriedly, afraid to be annoying…And of course it was annoying, but he was so damn cute, that you let him do it. And some things never change. Even though he was know a almost a man, you still let him do it, because to you, he was still your baby boy, and he was still as cute as ever. 

Jason never cared either, because usually, when it was movie night, it meant cuddling against you or one of his brothers (rarely against Bruce, because of stupid pride), and he’d never admit it, but he didn’t care one bit about the movies you’d all watch, as long as he was with his family. Oh yes, of course he’d never admit it, it’d ruin his “tough guy reputation”.

Tim would usually doze off on your shoulder, or if your shoulder was taken by one of your siblings (only one shoulder available unfortunately, the other one was always automatically reserved for his father), then he’d fall asleep on one of them instead. The poor boy always had so much trouble sleeping, than when there were truly calm moments, like your movie nights, he just couldn’t stay awake. 

But Damian…Oh Damian hated Dick’s habit. And apparently, this evening, he was grumpier than usual, not even twenty minutes into the movie and he started to argue with his older brother about him “having to shut up because he’d like to enjoy the damn movie !”. Of course, because Dick loved the way Damian would get all worked up about something that silly (even though it really was annoying), he did it even louder. 

This sprout Damian lunging at Dick and yelling at him to be silent…the commotion he made woke Tim up, and when Tim got woken up from one of his rare peaceful sleep, he wasn’t in a good mood. So out of annoyance, he elbowed Damian in the ribs with a groan. 

It so happened that that particularly night, it was Jason’s turn to snuggle against you, and the fight their brother were starting made you straighten up to see what was happening, dislodging him from against you…And it wasn’t fair. it was his turn to be with his mommy (oh God he wished to everything he held holy that no one would ever know what he was thinking just now), and they were ruining it !  

All Hell broke loose as your four boys started to yell, kick, slap, damn even BITE each other ! All the while Dick kept saying the lines from the movie before it happened, as he was dodging punches and such. 

It lasted about thirty seconds before Bruce got genuinely angry that his sons were ruining one of their only family moments of the month ! It was so difficult to gather everyone together, and they were messing everything up ! 

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🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

anonymous asked:

The new New York Times piece titled "And Jesus Said Unto Paul Ryan" is a masterpiece

Before I launch into this, I want to state up front, this is not directed at you, anonymous. Thank you for thinking of me, and the article is a funny read. 

But I also read the article on the train to work this morning (before I ever got this ask) and it has been bothering me all day. I thought about it at lunch. It niggled at me during my healthcare policy class, because the Social Security Act is boring and so was the view out the window. And on the train ride home, I went huh.

I don’t give a fuck whether Paul Ryan is a good Christian. 

I was surprised too! But it turns out, I don’t give a fuck whether any of my elected leaders’ policies are consistent with their professed Christianity. I don’t care whether their policies are consistent with my or anyone else’s Christianity. If the Second Coming happened tomorrow, and Jesus came down on a cloud and handed me the ACA replacement bill, I would still want to see the Congressional Budget Office report about it.

It’s fun to condemn our political leaders for hypocrisy. (God knows most of them are, and so deserve it.) But at the same time, I feel like we keep circling the same fallacy—”well, you know Ryan and his ilk aren’t real Christians; real Christians would [insert political viewpoint here].” It’s a fun fallacy! You pull it out at parties and it gets you off the hook entirely. You might be a thing, but you’re not that thing, so it’s all okay!

The problem with this is that…..well, real Christians are, and have. Real Christians have had slaves or been complicit in slavery, they’ve started wars and genocides and simony and scandal. Real Christians had a vested interest in the oppression of women and the conversion of all people on earth to Christianity. Real Christians killed Jews and Real Christians killed Muslims and Real Christians in the US today have decided to continue that 2000 year unbroken tradition of hate. Real Christians scream outside of abortion clinics. Name it, Real Christians have done it, or been complicit in it. You can’t divorce the words of Jesus from the bits of history or politics you don’t approve of—or at the very least, you can’t pretend as though “Real Christianity” is a totally separate animal, innocent in comparison with its ugly political cousin.

At the end of the day, the Christian Bible has been used to both support and condemn all sorts of political activity since….before the ink of the canon had a chance to dry. And I’m sure that in two hundred years, there will still be thinkpieces arguing that the senator isn’t a real Christian, because a real Christian would have issued a statement welcoming the sentient moss of Zebble-gor to Congress.

But I don’t like it. Because—well, because we’re not a theocracy. Whether someone is a good Christian or a hypocritical Christian is irrelevant. Our elected leaders need to be good leaders. Full stop. They should be guided by honesty and innovation and civic-mindedness and compassion and intelligence; they should be ethical and make choices with integrity, take their position and its obligations seriously, listen to their constituents. If those qualities come out of their commitment to Christianity, that’s fine! But they don’t have to, and I don’t think it’s productive—even within the Christian community—to go back and forth about someone’s religiosity.

I don’t care if Paul Ryan is a good Christian. He can settle that one up with our Lord and Savior when the time comes. But he’s the principal sponsor of a frankly shitty piece of legislation, which offers significant federal savings at the expense of poor and elderly individuals. 

And that’s the sin I’m not ready to forgive.

anonymous asked:

Sooooo I heard you do fic recs 👀 what are the best fics you know that have auror!harry? (Bonus points for auror!draco too!) thanks luvvvv

Hello, love! I had to split my auror!harry recs into two parts because there were just too many incredible fics!! So first, go have a look at my Drarry as Auror Partners list! Then enjoy these auror!harry with miscellaneous!draco (haha is that a thing?) fics as well :D

Auror!Harry Recs

tissue of silver by fearlessdiva (76K)- A love story concerning possessed furniture, black silk pyjamas, courtroom drama, premonitions of doom, assassination attempts, Death Eater yoga, absinthe, bare feet and a sensible werewolf.
Draco is a seer and somebody is out to murder him, so Harry moves in to protect him. According to the author, an attempt to explain ‘how Canon Draco could turn into Fanon Draco,’ and I LOVE FANON DRACO 

The Full Monty by magpie_fngrl / @cat-wolfe (10K)- Harry poses for a naked Auror calendar and Draco goes batshit crazy with lust.
I ALSO WENT BATSHIT CRAZY WITH LUST FOR THIS FIC. So funny. So hot. Baby chick named Arthur. Lawyer!Draco. Has sequel. Perfection <3 *kisses fingertips with flourish*

The Good Guys by Frayach (27K)- The Second Voldemort War is limping into its fourth year, and the Forces of Shining Light are slowly turning into the Forces of Expedient Grey. When Draco Malfoy is captured red-handed trying to sell an illegal potion to a clerk at Borgin & Burkes, he is handed over to the Department of Essential and Necessary Truth’s newest interrogator. And as soon as he sees Malfoy, bound and waiting in his cell, Harry Potter knows he’s in trouble. Deep trouble.
YO THIS FIC FUCKED ME UP. IT WAS AMAZINGLY GOOD. SUPER WELL-WRITTEN. Not what I would usually recommend because I am bad with endings that are anything but “happily every after,” but READ THIS ANYWAY IT IS ART.

The Unlikely Career Choices of Mr Draco Lucius Malfoy by who_la_hoop (5.5K)- Draco Malfoy is up to something. Something evil. Because he’s certainly not mixing drinks in Muggle London for the good of anybody’s health now, is he?
This fic was hilarious and adorable and Draco has all these weird muggle jobs and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT and want to re-read it 27 times.

It Must Be (True Love) by frostywonder (45.5K)- No amount of playing by the rules has made Harry’s life any easier, and Malfoy has matured but also hasn’t. They are who they are, and though they try, neither one can fully change.
This fic was super wonderful and compelling and I’ve no idea why it doesn’t have more kudos!! Harry is assigned to watch over Draco’s (dangerous) brewing projects and they both keep almost dying it’s great

On the Turning Away by blamebrampton / @blamebrampton (25.5K)- It’s one thing to be good at not making a besotted fool of yourself over a man when he’s busy being the most famous wizard in the world and you’re tucked away quietly in Wiltshire. It’s quite another when you have to see him every morning.
Blaise sends Draco a Christmas Tree in the mail, and somehow this leads to Draco ending up with Harry as his parole officer. Who he has to see every day. Lovely, Christmassy pining! <3

A Fox’s Bargain by raitala (6K)- Harry made a bargain with Draco. He knew it was going to come back and bite him on the arse, he just didn’t think about what exactly Draco would ask for. Draco would say that Harry must have known deep down what he was agreeing to, but then Draco is a prick and what would he know?
AAAH so hot! I don’t care if you probably wanted case fics and this is pretty much just D/S style smut, READ IT SO SEXY.

Partners of the Four-Legged Variety by carpemermaid / @carpemermaidtales​ (18K)- “Training starts in the home, Potter, so your new Crup and I will need to stay with you for a few weeks while I show you how to properly train and bond with him.” The Auror Department is instating a K9 Crup Unit, and Harry is the first to sign up. Turns out the professional trainer is Draco Malfoy, and he has to live with Harry as part of the Crup training programme.
Praise kink!!!!! Pining!!!!!! Living together!!!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!

Chains of Earth by dysonrules (90K)- Draco is kidnapped and forced to make a choice between taking his own life or becoming something less than human. Of course, he makes the right decision. Enter Harry, who discovers he has a bit of a thing for wings.
This is a great long case fic!! With veela!Draco. Warning for some Weasley bashing.

Interoffice Communication by Snegurochka (10.5K)- Draco has convinced the Auror department to test his new messaging charm for secure communications. Harry really would have preferred that he not find out through messages like, ‘Yeah, tonight you’re going to beg me for it,’ that the system wasn’t as secure as they thought.
Soooo Harry accidentally receives a sexy message (or like twenty) from Draco intended for Blaise, and then he obviously can’t stop thinking about it. And it doesn’t help when Harry’s own name starts coming up ;). Super super hot!

Paint it Red by dicta_contrion / @dictacontrion (5K)- Draco’s a graffiti artist with a bone to pick. Harry’s the P.I. tasked with catching him. Or, apparently, stalking him all over town, asking a lot of questions, and showing surprising artistic talent.
Harry’s meant to stop Draco vandalizing, and he fails miserably. Or very very happily, depending on your point of view :D

The Auror Method by Lomonaaeren (43K)- Draco has constructed the perfect cover for his activities as a con-man specializing in thefts from a distance: Draco Malfoy, the redeemed Death Eater and Recluse of Malfoy Manor. But now there’s evidence that some people are onto him, and as a consequence of the death threats issued to him, he gets an assigned Auror guard. Maybe Harry Potter, their leader, could be a problem when it comes to Draco’s latest con. Although how could he, when he’s getting all distracted by Draco’s fluttering eyelashes?
This was a very thrilling read! I love Draco and Harry trying to con / figure each other out while totally falling in love at the same time, just GIVE ME THIS TROPE A THOUSAND TIMES.

Fight the Starless Midnight by Maab_Conner (22K)- Harry thought that he was going to arrest Healer Malfoy for practicing without a license. Nothing ever goes as planned.
Great fic with a really good case element! When Harry goes to arrest Draco, he discovers an even bigger problem involving Mungo’s. Meanwhile Draco is a (still snarky) saint <3

When Hearts Are Freed by oldenuf2nb (23K. Locked to AO3 Users only)- When Draco Malfoy’s gallery is robbed and a priceless magical artifact is stolen, he finds himself working with Chief Auror Harry Potter to both recover the fabulous necklace, and to prove he didn’t steal it himself.
Draco owns an Art Gallery, which is obviously amazing, and Head Auror Harry is sexy and confident, and YEAH. Great case, great build. YEAH AGAIN.

Here Be Dragons by birdsofshore (22K)- Harry doesn’t want to waste his time investigating illegal dragonhide trading, whether it involves a fetish club in Knockturn Alley or visiting a remote island in Wales. Why the bloody hell does Malfoy always have to be up to something?
Harry suspecting Malfoy of things is just the best, and I love this iteration especially. There are dragons!!! And lots of leather!!! And kinky(ish) sex!!!!

BTS REACTS TO: Their s/o wearing an ugly picture of them on a t-shirt

Anon Asked: Can you do a BTS Reaction to their s/o wearing an ugly selfie of them on a t-shirt in public? I ALWAYS wanted to do this with my boyfriend but he’s too photogenic uGH

Okay, I’ve totally done this before. Showed up at a friend’s birthday party wearing an ugly snapchat pic they sent me on a sweatshirt lol.

- Admin Dayna


Seokjin

Jin is handsome. He knew it, his fans knew it, and obviously, so do you. But with great beauty, comes great responsibility, and it seems like your boyfriend abuses his good-looks. Jin oozes narcissism. At times it was funny, charming in fact, but there’s only so much of it one could take. Sometimes consequences need to be dealt out to the arrogant. With just enough persistence and creativity, you’ve came up with the perfect plan. You awaited his arrival at the airport, your hoodie zipped up hiding your brilliance. Jin and the boys’ plane had landed and now they were only a few feet away from you. When you were absolutely positive Jin was looking right at you - and you could tell he had by the way he suddenly picked up his pace to a brisk jog your direction - you unzipped your hoodie, revealed your t-shirt with a rather… unattractive picture of him that his Army has turned into a meme printed on the front. You lifted your arms up high, allowing Jin, the boys, and the lucky bystanders to bask in its glory. As Namjoon, Yoongi, Hobi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook all erupted into laughter, Jin struggled to reprimand you between fits of giggles.

“Wha - jagiyaahh~! How could you betray me?!”

“What have I done to deserve this?!”

“Do you think this was right?! I demand respect!”

Originally posted by jiyoongis

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anonymous asked:

Hi there! I just saw your post about soulmate fic ideas and I love them too! An idea I've seen somewhere years ago is that everyone is given a necklace at a certain age and when you get closer (in distance not emotions) to your soulmate, the pendant on the necklace heats up. Maybe Bughead meet while travelling and their necklaces get really hot?

I love a good soulmate au!
***

Jughead sighed, Saturday nights were exhausting in The Southside of Riverdale. Gang meetings always took place in the sleazy beat down dive bar, with about a hundred drunken men in leather jackets trying to make sense of the latest deal they had to get done while simultaneously playing pool and hitting on the Serpent bangers. So yeah tonight had been long.

“Hot dog, I’m home.” He called out to the empty trailer, smiling when he head the familiar thumping of scruffy white paws, the dirty sheepdog standing before him with a goofy grin and slobbery tongue.
“Hey there boy.” Jughead pulled off the heavy leather jacket and flung it over the makeshift kitchen chair plopping down on the couch in the center of the room.

He was tired…all the time. being sixteen wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, he had more responsibilities now that his father was locked up, Jughead had been born a Serpent it was all he knew, but deep down he felt something, something no one else he knew had felt. He wanted more, wanted to be more. He had a friend Archie Andrews, he had met him at the Riverdale Public library one day when he was hiding from a particularly nasty gang fight. Archie had been researching music books and they had bonded over their mutual love for video games and their penchant for fried foods. Archie was the boy next door, bright red hair and a letterman jacket two sizes too big while the tshirt he wore under it was two sizes too small, but he was nice and he didn’t judge Jughead, and that in itself was a feat.

Jugheads fingers wandered up to the clear crystal pendent resting beneath his plain black Tshirt, it was the one thing in his life that was steady, constant, always hanging around his neck, a security blanket almost. He couldn’t believe it when Archie had shown Jughead his own pendent.

“It’s finally cooling down, I just came from Veronica’s house and it was pretty much on fire.” Archie had explained, toying with his pendent, dark purple and black swirls coursing through his.

A soulmate, Jughead squeezed his eyes shut. Archie had been the one to explain the soulmate necklace to him.

“When you find the one you’re meant to be with, the necklace glows, it gets hot, hotter than anything you’ve ever felt. But it doesn’t burn, it feels amazing, its right over your heart, it’s almost like sitting by a bonfire, you can feel the heat but it’s safe and warm”

He wanted it, deep down inside he knew someone like him would never get that, he wasn’t the soulmate type and he was certain his necklace would stay crystal clear his entire life, but… sometimes.. if he stared hard enough, he swore he could see green, he swore there were swirls of gold and meadow green. He was probably kidding himself, setting himself up for disappointment and failure. Wrapping his fingers around the pendent he felt his eyes drift closed, it had been a long day, he didn’t need to be thinking about things like soulmates and silly wishes.

****

“Dilton Doiley? Really? For Cheryl? You’re sure?” Betty was leaning forward on the lilac and lace comforter, the phone snug against her ear as Veronica spilled the gossip of the day.

“I sure am, apparently they never got close enough to each other to find out, but then today, in gym class, they got paired to be partners for tennis and you know where it goes from there, their necklaces lit up like fireworks and soon enough they had each other nearly naked on the gym floor before coach Clayton broke it up.” Veronica giggled from her end and Betty sighed dreamily.

“I’m happy for them, I think Dilton will be good for her… it’s so crazy how we’re paired in this universe..” Betty trailed off, her fingers playing with the edges of her comforter

“You’ll find him B, I promise.” Veronica soothing said, comforting her best friend.

Betty bit back the bitter tears and cleared her throat, speaking in an incredibly small voice
“I just want something like you and Archie have ya know? I just want someone to love me like that.” She whispered.

“And you will. I know you Betty Cooper and you won’t stop until you find him.” The raven haired princess spoke in a tone that left no room for argument.

“Okay Ronnie, I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Veronica said her goodbyes before calling out for Betty one more time

“Don’t forget, tomorrow is that integration mixer with the Southside Students, I’m thinking leather pants and no shirt, what about you?” Betty could practically hear the smirk on the heiresses face.

“You’ve been watching too much Grease Ronnie.” She giggled before hanging up on her best friend.

Betty plopped down on her bed, eyes drifting closed as her hands found her pendent. she would find him, and hopefully soon because all this waiting was making her head hurt.
***

Veronica couldn’t control her laughter when Betty walked up to her locker before first period.

“What?!” Betty asked defensively.

Veronica settled finally and looked up at Betty out of breath
“It’s nothing, it’s just.., everyone agreed to dress a little more scandalous today, in honor of the Southside coming and you…. I didn’t even know something could be that white”

Betty looked down at her baby blue dress, the skirt grazing mid thigh, her bare arms covered by an impeccable, wrinkle free white cardigan, she wore tiny nude ballet flats and a simple gold chain on her wrist.

“I wore my hair down.” Betty tried, her hands coming up to touch the tips, she wrapped her arms around herself self consciously when she spotted all the girls in mini skirts and tube tops.

Veronica’s eyes softened and she squeezed Betty’s forearm
“You look beautiful, you always do. I’m just teasing, you know that.” She kissed her best friends cheek and Betty smiled.

Suddenly Archie came running through the halls, his eyes set on The two girls as he swooped in, pressing a kiss to Veronica’s cheek. Betty glanced down at their necklaces, feeling the familiar ache of jealousy as they glowed beautifully.

“They’re here! I saw a bunch of bikes pull up, you’re gonna love Jughead guys, he’s so funny man and he’s totally cool.” Archie rambled on and Veronica shot Betty an “is my boyfriend in love with another boy?” look.

Betty rolled her eyes and watched as the Southside teens started filing in, each one bigger and scarier then the last. Betty’s guard went up instantly and she ducked behind Veronica.

“There he is! Jughead! Hey man! Over here!”
Archie was waving to a leather jacket wearing boy in the back, Betty couldnt make out his face but she knew the prominent S on his back meant that he was a Serpent, she had written a research paper on why Serpents should be treated equal and as normal as everyone else in Riverdale. The whole Serpent culture amazed her.

He was walking towards them and Betty could just make out stormy, raindrop blue eyes. Something in her stomach twisted and she stepped closer, trying to get a better look.

Suddenly he had stopped in his tracks, His fingers instantly coming up to grip the necklace hanging on the black string around his neck, Betty did the same and as the two stared at each other a gradual heat was rising in the crystal pendent. A series of blue and black swirls racing through her pendent while his had Gold and green.

He walked closer to her, the pendent becoming unbearably hot but it didn’t bother either of them, Betty could vaguely hear the frantic whispers of Veronica behind her.

They were standing chest to chest at this point and cautiously Betty reached her hand out, stopping quickly and looking the dark haired boy in the eyes, silently asking for permission. He nodded slowly, what she didn’t know was that she could do anything in the world to him and he would just nod. She had him. That was it, he was hers now.

As soon as her tiny fingers brushed the pendent a shining bright light illuminated both of their necklaces, an almost primal growl came from deep inside Jugheads chest as his hands gripped The perfect and proper blondes waist

“Finally.” He whispered before dropping his lips to hers.

She followed with equal fervor, her hands winding in his hair as he held her tight to his chest. After what felt like hours they finally pulled apart.

Neither of the teens said anything until Betty broke the silence

“Betty Cooper, my names Betty Cooper and I guess I’m your soulmate.” Her smile was perfect and her fingers were still playing with the now filled pendent.

Jughead laughed heartily, his own long, slender fingers coming up to play with her necklace
“Can’t believe I got someone like you, you’re pretty as a picture Betty Cooper. I’m Jughead Jones and I am so happy you’re my soulmate.” He smirked crookedly before dropping his lips to hers.

The necklace pressed against each other as a warm glow of sunshine bathed the teens in light. They still had so much to learn about one another but right here, soft white cardigan pressed against worn black leather

They might just be okay.

anonymous asked:

mother!! can you please write a bts jimin friends to lovers au? i love your writing! idk if your finals r over but GOOD LUCK! you can do this! fighting!

my finals are close!!!! but writing for you guys is helping me relax~ 
here’s jimin friends-to-lovers ~~!! 

  • you met jimin through mutual friend taehyung who introduced you guys when you bumped into him and jimin at a local pizza place
  • and taehyung’s first introduction between you two was literally “you guys are actually alike, always worrying about other people and being ,,,,,you know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,what’s it kids say these days,,,,,,soft?”
  • and you and jimin were both like heY we aren’t soft!!!!!! but the reality is you guys are both the Softest and ever since you first hung out with him and taehyung it was obvious you and jimin were alike in may aspects
  • you were both simultaneously trying to stop taehyung from doing something funny, that was also dangerous but you were both also denying the fact that you were “party poopers” as taehyung put it,,,,,
  • after that you and jimin got close,,,,,because taehyung had suggest you’d exchange numbers and it was just a casual thing 
  • and then when you’d gotten home that day,,,jimin had actually texted you first?????
  • and it said ‘if you can, text me when you’re home so i know you’re safe! nice meeting you today,,,,,,hope this isn’t weird ;___;’
  •  and you knew,,,,since then,,,,that jimin was definitely a friend worth making and keeping because??? it’s hard to find people so genuine and sweet
  • and for a while you only hung out together if taehyung was there or if there was a group of people,,,,,but one day jimin asks if you’d like to go out with him,,,,,you know alone,,,,,
  • and you’re like !!!! because this is the first time but also,,,,,like why not?? jimin is fun and you agree and jimin says you guys should meet up and just hang out in the mall
  • and when you see him waiting there he looks a little nervous, and you catch him trying to fix his hair in the reflection of one of the shop windows
  • and you’re like,,,,,hmm,,,,,but you brush it off and call out his name and poor jimin almost jumps high enough to reach the ceiling of the mall
  • but once you’re in front of him,,,,,,this big smile spreads across his face and you grin back,,,,unsure of what he’s so happy about it but seeing him shine like the sun you can’t help but reciprocate it,,,,,,one of the many good things about jimin is he spreads happiness so easily,,,,,,
  • and so he says you two should check out the indoor theme park and you’re excitedly telling him you’d lOVE that,,,,,,,,
  • and once you’re there you point out the pirate ship and jimin gulps but he can see how your eyes are flickering with excitement and he gets on with you simply because he can’t say no to you,,,,,,,
  • and halfway through you feel jimin bury his face into your sleeve and you giggle and throw your arms around him and,,,,,you don’t see it,,,,,but jimin’s face goes tomato red and when you’re off the ride you ask him if he’s sick but he’s just like nO!!!! it’s from the ride!!! im just sweaty that’s all hahah
  • and as you’re walking you can see cotton candy and you’re like oMG and jimin shyly asks if you’d want him to buy you some and you’re like would YOU?? you’re an ANGEL PARK JIMIN
  • and he just tries to hide his blush again and you guys share the big puffy swirl of pink and jimin keeps peeking at you as you take bites and in his head it’s just: they’re so cute. so damn cute. cute. cu t e. cUTE.
  • and you’re like “jimin im going to go try and win that stuffed animal for you!” and he’s like ?!?!!?? for me??? and you’re like YES i want to say thank you for this date——,,,,,,,,,
  • and jimin and you both stop and stare as the word falls out of your mouth and you’re like oH m Y GO D I DIDNT MEAN TO SAY THAT OH ITS SO AWKWARD IM SOR-
  • but jimin, who can’t hide his blush anymore, is shaking his head frantically and he’s like no it’s not awkward,,,,,,,,,i totally like the idea of this being a d-d–d-d–d–da—daTE,,,,,
  • and you’re like REALLY and he’s like yes!!!!! i,,,,originally asked you out,,,,and,,,,and wanted to ask before we got here if we,,,w,,e could call this a d–d–date,,,,,,,,,,,,but i got too,,,,s,,,,,shy,,,,,,
  • and you’re like omg you’re so freaking adorable and jimin is like ??? im not you’re adorable
  • and you take the cotton candy for his hand and lean up to kiss his cheek and jimin makes a small sound of surprise and you’re like SEE!! you are adorable
  • and jimin is like,,,,,,,speechless,,,,but also,,,,his heart is doing jumps of happiness and you giggle and take his hand and you’re like is this ok?? and he’s like YES SUPER OK
  • and you pull him over to the game stands and you’re like OK park jimin,,,,,,,,,,which stuffed animal do you want? and jimin kind of bites his lip and is like “,,,,,d,,,do you see the kissing teddy bears,,,,let’s get that one?” and you look up at him and you’re like hehe they look like us and jimin is like OH MY 
  • taehyung somewhere:,,,,yo jungkook i can sense that jimin is on a date right now
  • jungkook: heheh no way~
  • taehyung:,,,,,,,nope he’s DEFINITELY on a date and probably doing something corny,,,,,,,