the funny thing is that he's already married

anonymous asked:

leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me 👀

it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha


the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.

the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh

dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan


i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not personal (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. it’s likely work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.

that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh

confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”

i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly


that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.

the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed  or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.

obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.

but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.

then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.

i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(

“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((

(live show: meditation and hydration with your new life coach - 2017.03.14)

cottoncandyfrizz  asked:

aaah requests are open!! can i ask for the rfa + v/unknown and their reactions when it's time to remove the wedding garter in their reception?? thank youu (*/_\)


  • stop bullshitting yoosung he’s such a prude about this n is like… physically incapable he’s so red he’s sweating his hands are clammy arms spaghetti
  • he’s not ok he looks literally like he’s choking on food 
  • he needs like a giant swig of jack to finally be able to
  • *inhales* BOI he bout to do it and he has dove under the giant fluffy dress 
  • he bumps into mc’s knee and everyone hears a rlly loud “ow” 
  • please don’t get a boner please don’t get a boner please don’t get a boner
  • he has made contact with the garter
  • he has now bitten the garter and lowkey accidentally bit mc
  • surprisingly he gets it off rllllly fast and he’s sweatin and drunk and he’s all “I GOT IT!!!!” and basically zen and seven lift him into the air 
  • our boy is finally a MAN


  • it’s his favorite part
  • he’s been waitin for this oh m an he keeps asking seven when it’s time to remove the garter
  • he just loves being a little showy shit he lives and dies for it tbh, after all he is a musical actor
  • he’ll do it provocatively and still look like a god even though his hair gets messed up under MC’s dress
  • every single girl holl e r s when it’s time to remove the garter 
  • jumin is unimpressed by zen’s flashy display of affection and it definitely ain’t appropriate for a wedding
  • he does it tauntingly slow and everyone freaks out but his movements are so smooth and so perfect everyone is just really mad because zen looks perfect doing anything tbqh
  • when he pulls out the garter he raises it with a clenched fist like he’s won some sort of trophy
  • the photos will literally be on every website by the next day who looks so flawless after being under a dress????


  • is rlly private and doesn’t want to do it but after mc begs (aka asks very politely because jumin would commit murder for mc) he is willing
  • he’s very graceful doing it too but in a lot more formal way in comparison to zen doing it
  • he treats it like an obligatory thing and he’s very happy to marry mc but is this necessary
  • why do commoners engage in this type of crudeness???????
  • but to mc’s sweet request he purposely drags his teeth along mc’s skin to let them know whats happening later
  • leaves little kisses between their thighs just to be funny, since he’s already doing something wildly ridiculous
  • once he gets ahold of the garter he’s a little frustrated by the lack of space but after the second try he gets it done
  • he’s rlly embarrassed n he looks calm af but afterwards he whispers in mc’s ear and they’re expecting some freaky shit or whateva but he’s just like
  • “did i do ok”


  • she wouldn’t she can’t she doesn’t waNT TO but
  • this is inescapable 
  • she does it hesitantly and is surpisingly very gentle 
  • so gentle that mc doesn’t even remember that there’s someone literally under their dress
  • jaehee is rlly frustrated like “do i have to use my teeth” yes baehee come on
  • she gets it after like a long amount of time of trying poor babe she’s so red and kinda embarrassed but she’s so cu t e and mc gives her a lil kiss just to be sweet and be like hey,,, bub u did good
  • it’s on recording and everyone always spams the rfa chat with it it’s so funny and jaehee gets so MAD
  • like she doesn’t want to remember it even tho she was literally under mc’s dress it was so weird to do it in front of mc’s pARENTS AND
  • probably throws hands at seven afterwards for even mentioning the idea (i like to think seven is involved in all of this because come on. he would. he would honestly have a hand in having all of these scenarios happen.)


  • HOOOOOOOOOOO shit SON he’s been preparing and practicing grabbing things with his teeth since the wedding was announced
  • ya boi seven was ready to dive in that giant fluffball dress he’s been ready since he was born he’s so lit at weddings and at his own?? biiiitch
  • he’s the one that literally takes the mic and goes “OKAY SO TIME FOR THE GARTER”
  • he’s so excited he didn’t even practice his vows this much
  • seven gets in there so fast it’s actually frightening and he pulls it out within like 3 seconds how does he do that
  • he, too, raises the garter in the air like a true #champion 
  • this is not what mc expected like he got in and got so quick why did this amuse him so much
  • he just finds this part the cutest and afterwards gives mc the cutest kiss on the cheek 
  • probably gets it timed and submits it to guinness or something so he can have the world record for fastest garter removal
  • he always remembers that part of the wedding the most


  • he’s a complaining little baby he’s just like “what’s the POINT of this”
  • he whines and moans about it and hopes everyone forgets at the reception and just is a crybaby until mc pulls the puppy eyes
  • oh boy he melts and is suddenly willing
  • still grudgingly, but now willing 
  • he’s really awkward and bumps everywhere and is confused and lost inside the dress
  • he was up in that bih like a tampon but he’s so confused and grumpy and frustrated but once he finds it he’s like “thank GOd”
  • but then he moves like one inch and this fucking dress is going to kill him he’s so mad at an inanimate object 
  • like why did they pay so much for this giant fluffy dress this fluffy dress needs a map installed under it for him he’s just grumbling the whole time under there and it takes him the longest out of everyone l m a o 
  • once he locates it again he nearly rips it taking it off mc
  • and then when he comes out from under there he’s sweating and red and the suit is very stuffy while everyone congratulates him


  • dat boi v is blind so this will take years. why did ya do this to him. 
  • seven refuses to let him use his hands still but he’s at such an advantage how could u do this
  • of course v doesn’t complain he didn’t even talk about when his ex turned into a crazy cult leader so he doesn’t have an opinion about the garter removal
  • on the inside he’s pretty hesitant 
  • really??? gentle??? he kind of uses his face to find his way around and accidentally bumps into mc’s pelvic bone poor boy 
  • he’s so lost under there!!! something help him!!!
  • once seven is like “okay fiiine i mean i GUESS u can use ur hands” he’s got the softest touch tracing mc’s legs and he uses both 
  • sneaky bastard grazes mc’s inner thighs just to be extra even though he’s already located the garter
  • pulls it out with his teeth and comes out victorious
  • he’s so cute with his ruffled teal hair and he’s got the cutest small grin on his face that mc takes note of and just  
  • how does anyone hate v

One thing about this chihoco incident that fandom does not talk enough about? Phichit thought they got divorced so he had to know they are married so like now we know for sure they already got married after this skating season?? I repeat Yuuri and Victor ARE ALREADY MARRIED IN CANON why is no one talking about that, I mean that drunk misunderstanding is funny af and all but I’m still waiting for this fandom to freak out because Phichit was in Barcelona, he learned they’re yet to be married then but now he talks about them being divorced/remarried so he was at their actual wedding and so they’re married right now WOW

Warnings: implied sexual content

Words: 578

You woke with a gentle start, your eyes fluttering open.

At first, you thought that it had all been just a dream—a blissfully perfect dream.

Then, you turned your head and saw him laying there beside you. Cassian.

Wearing nothing but a part of his dark bed sheet, he was sleeping peacefully.

So it hadn’t been a dream after all. 

Every deep, swollen kiss he gave you, every loving word he whispered to you…

Every single minute of the hours he spent learning each and every little detail of your body…

It had all been as real as the galaxy itself. 

Sighing contently, you pressed yourself into his side, your head on his shoulder.

“Mmm.” Cassian stirred in his sleep, then opened his eyes. “Morning.”

His voice was low and husky. Just like it had been the night before.

“I’m sorry,” You sheepishly looked up at him. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“No, don’t apologize.” He lifted your face towards his and kissed you deeply.

You closed your eyes as your heart instantly started racing in your chest.

“I love you,” Cassian murmured against your lips. 

Opening your eyes, you reached for his hand and laced your fingers together.

“I love you too.” Although you’d said it before, this time, it felt different.

Now that Cassian had made you his, there was more feeling behind the words.

What you felt for him was far, far more than what mere words could describe. 

“I could really get used to this.” Cassian spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over the both of you. “Waking up with you lying next to me.”

You sighed contently. “Me too.”

“Then if that’s the case, why don’t you just move into my quarters with me?”

You let out a small, light laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” He asked, frowning.

“Cass, what is everyone else going to think when they see me moving my things into your sleeping quarters when we’re not married?” You could already imagine the gossip spreading throughout the entire base like a wildfire.

Cassian shrugged. “Who cares what everyone else is going to think? It’s none of their business.” He squeezed your hand. “After last night, I don’t think that I’ll be able to sleep without you lying beside me.”

“I feel the same way. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to spend another night alone, I can’t even picture it,” You admitted, softly. You pulled your hand out of Cassian’s and reached up, cupping the side of his face in your palm. After taking a minute to think it over in your mind, you decided, “I’ll bring my things up later today.”

He broke out into a wide smile. “Really? You mean that?”

You nodded, smiling too. “I’ll clear out my quarters and let housing know so they can give the room to somebody else.”

“Perfect.” Cassian’s lips met yours in another loving kiss. 

As his mouth began to wander down to your neck, you giggled and stopped him from going any further. “Cass, don’t. We have to get up and get dressed now.”

You started getting up, but Cassian grabbed your arm, pulling you back down.

“Cassian, what are you—?”

He swiftly moved over you so you were lying on your back underneath him. 

“We still have some time to ourselves,” he whispered, pulling the bed sheet from around his waist and tossing it to the floor. “Let’s make the most of it.”

Short, but sweet. Hope you lovelies like this.

This is one of my own ideas, next imagine will be a request I have! x

Title: Faget
Description: Two sexually frustrated teenage boys have to clean up their teacher’s classroom with no one else in the building.
Genre: Smut
Author’s Note: for kari’s birthday bc she’s a ryden slut tbh. i put too much detail in about mormonism but i swear to god what i wrote is factual bc my grandpa is literally in the stake presidency which is hella high up and my mom did real estate in vegas so yeah

Ryan scrunched up his nose. It smelled like mold on the lower floors. He’d told Mrs. Holladay countless times to get it checked out but she just didn’t listen. He thought that private schools clearly had enough money to pay to call in a contractor but they seemed to be too busy spending it on things like carpeting for the old wooden staircases and dry erase markers that you couldn’t recycle. Privates schools were absolute overpriced dumps he decided; they were like landfills for funding.

Mr. Wentz slapped his marker on his palm to signal the two students to look up at him. “Alrighty,” he shouted when they both cooperated. “So, Ryan you’re here for you know, detention, and Brendo, well you’re just an impeccably good student to the point that it’s almost annoying. I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to give you a harsher punishment Ryan, but you really didn’t do much wrong and it’s a lot easier if you and Brendon just work together. You two are just going to clean up the classroom, okay? I’m pretty sure the custodians are sick of you kids and your sh– stuff” Ryan rolled his eyes and inhaled. It was a pretty easy punishment though and he was grateful for that.

Brendon always cleaned up for the teachers. He was the most reliable student ever, some teachers liked him more than others because of it but they were all glad he wasn’t causing any trouble. He went exactly by what his family taught him, to always do far more for others than you would do for yourself and more importantly, to be obedient. It was also sort of a church thing but he liked the message and chose to do it however he could. It was sort of funny, his sisters were supposed to be the ones that cleaned and cooked and took care of everyone but he did that more than any of them did. Then again, one of them was already married so she was almost completed with what she needed to do in life, she just needed to have children. Brendon was so excited for her to start a family, he was really good with kids.

The teacher left the room and left Brendon a key because he trusted him enough to lock up because everyone else had left. Ryan looked up at the oak framed clock, it was 4:55. Brendon already had a broom and was staring wide eyed at the key in his hand. Ryan mentally laughed a bit, Brendon was fifteen and still acted like a fifth grader that wanted to impress all of his teachers to get gold stars on his homework more often.

“So, uh, what did you get detention for?” Brendon stumbled on his words. He was so bad at talking to new people, especially people older than him. Ryan was a junior, meaning that in a way he was better than Brendon. That wasn’t technically true but Brendon thought he was below everyone and that’s why he had to be so obedient. It made perfect sense to him.

“Wearing makeup,” Ryan answered confidently. He was actually really insecure about it, it was humiliating to work up that much confidence and be rejected by both his peers and school. All he wantes to do was wear silver eyeshadow, it made him feel powerful. He’d gotten so good at doing his makeup, it was an art and he wouldn’t let anyone tell him it wasn’t. It was pretty and he liked being pretty.

“Oh,” Brendon nearly squeaked. He’d never met a boy that wears makeup, that was a thing that only girls did. “Isn’t that a little, uh, gay?”

“No,” Ryan snapped back defensively. “I like Keltie, I’m not gay and makeup doesn’t mean you’re gay, it means you like makeup.” Brendon had never thought about that. He just thought that if you did something that only girls were supposed to do, you were gay because people who are attracted to men have to be feminine. He’d never questioned the reasoning behind it, it hadn’t seemed so flawed before. He’d always been told that if people don’t do things to make themselves feel good and if they did, they were selfish.

Brendon had liked a girl named Audrey who got suspending for dyeing her hair pink. He had to admit that he thought it looked sort of cool but it was against dress code and his mom would beat him with a wooden spoon if starting dating a girl with unnatural colored hair. Plus he had absolutely no chance with her, she was gorgeous and sort of rebellious and sweet and perfect and he just had a bad Beatles haircut and liked to mop and spend hours his playstation. It was one of God’s cruel jokes to a teenage boy except Brendon wouldn’t phrase it like that because he was taught God did no harm unless it was necessary. It was almost impressive how church oriented his family managed to be despite living in Las Vegas where prostitution is legal and you were able to find a strip club by simply looking out your window. The last part wasn’t really true but it was definitely a city centered on money and sexuality and funny enough, most of the casinos were owned by the LDS church.

“So, I’ll sweep if you wipe off the desks, okay?” Brendon offered nervously. Ryan nodded and went to grab a rag off of one of the desks. He was dreading getting gum off of the bottoms of desks with all of his heart. Kids were so gross, Ryan wished he could say he didn’t understand why but he understood a bit too well. For one thing, it was easy just to make others clean up after your shit, it required absolutely no real effort and they weren’t stupid, they knew that they’d never be held accountable for anything.

Brendon spent more of his time bent over with the dustpan than he did actually collecting the dirt and particles that went inside. Ryan didn’t even bother to thoroughly scrub the desks, they’d get dirty and scuffed up again anyway. Yet every time he brushed over the ugly oak desks, he thought about all of the gum underneath and more gum to be stuck underneath and nearly cringed. By the time he made it to his third desk he began gagging and ran to the trash can to regurgitate all of the contents in his stomach thanks to the stupid stale invisible desk gum. He leaned over and let the acid run over his teeth and feel even more disgusted than before.

Brendon certainly didn’t have any empathy for him, he began laughing and very loudly at that. Ryan continued coughing and gagging before grabbing the unopened water bottle Mr. Wentz left on his desk and turning around to chastise Brendon. He chugged the water to rinse away all of the aftertaste of his own vomit.

“What do you think is so fucking funny?” Ryan scowled. Brendon kept on giggling and covered his mouth to calm down and tried to recompose himself.

“I’ve never seen someone puke just from cleaning,” Brendon nearly snorted. Ryan flared his nostrils and put down the water bottle again and watched Brendon. Brendon kept carrying on, now cackling because of how upset Ryan had gotten. Ryan was waiting for him to shut up a bit but that took a while. Motivated by rage and embarrassment, Ryan ran over to younger one and pushed him to the ground and nearly knocked the wind out of him. “What was that for?” Brendon wheezed.

Ryan threw his legs over both of Brendon’s sides and pushed his hands into his shoulders to pin him down.

“You little shit,” Ryan hissed at the boy who was now below him. Brendon looked like he was still in shock from being knocked over. It hurt his tailbone and head a bit but he was alright, his lungs just weren’t fully functioning yet from having all of the air drawn from them. When he did begin breathing, it was more like panting, it came in short heavy spurts and he had to try not to start coughing.

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded once his breathing was back to normal. Ryan stared down at him and contemplated how to punish him for laughing at him and wrestling was the only thing that came to mind. They both weighed like a hundred pounds though but then it would be sort of a fair fight. The only problem was that Ryan couldn’t do anything physically draining to save his life and Brendon probably couldn’t either. He was starting to lose his balance the more he thought and when he tried to recompose it, he felt a little twitch of sorts beneath him.

“You fucker,” he whispered at Brendon. Okay maybe Ryan was a little gay but obviously so was Brendon. The boy below him gulped and didn’t bother to move because he didn’t know what to do. After an almost agonizingly long amount of time since he was being pinned down, Ryan leaned down his torso and brought his lips to Brendon’s. At first it wasn’t really contact until they both started getting more into it and Ryan loosened his hold above Brendon. They started sort of lazily grinding, not really making any progress before Brendon wiggled out from underneath Ryan and Ryan was left on his back.

Brendon crawled over to Ryan’s legs and lay over them to get access to the waistband of his pants. He fiddled with the belt, getting it off rather quickly due to experience from with getting his off after church because the pants he had to wear to sacrament burned and itched. He unzipped them and pulled them down to about Ryan’s knees. Ryan had really long white legs that Brendon was almost tempted to stroke because they looked so clean. Brendon waited a moment before pulling down his boxers. He’d really never considered giving fellatio before but there he was. He pulled them down at last and contemplated how to start.

Brendon had never even seen another penis besides his own. He thought they all sort of looked the same unless they were old and wrinkly and had only masturbated three times. Ryan let out a shaky sigh from waiting and lack of stimulation and need for stimulation. Brendon put his hand on Ryan’s hips and lowered his mouth down onto the head of Ryan’s dick.

“Hold down your left thumb,” Ryan instructed. Brendon looked up confused. “It reduces your gag reflex.” Brendon had never even considered his gag reflex and immediately took Ryan’s advice due to memories of the dentist having to put in his palate expander three times due to his tongue pushing it out. He resumed what he was doing before starting sucking, not knowing what to do. He tightly gripped his thumb and attempted to take all of it in at one. His gag reflex didn’t totally go away,causing him to cough a bit and his throat muscles to act. Ryan moaned at the constriction which Brendon thought was pretty weird but didn’t say anything about it.

Brendon lifted up his head up and flattened out his tongue and licked up the bottom of Ryan’s dick. He stuck his mouth back where it was and started twirling his tongue around the head looking for some sort of positive reaction. Ryan let out more shaky moans and Brendon took it as a sign to continue. He licked over the top where the slit was and then but his mouth down further. “Holy fuck Brendon,” Ryan gasped. He was close to ejaculating and didn’t alert Brendon of it. Brendon kept on his using his tongue and hollowed out his cheeks the more he went down.

Ryan gave out around the time Brendon’s gag reflex kicked in the second time. Brendon lifted his head off and began coughing before spitting it out on top of his hand.

“Sorry I didn’t warn you,” Ryan leaned forward on his elbows. Brendon kept coughing and tried too steady out his breathing so he could respond.

“No, it’s fine. Uh, sorry if I did a bad job,” Brendon apologized. Ryan shook his head and wiped off his nose with his left hand.

“No, it was good. I’m assuming that’s the first time you’ve given head,” Ryan looked up at the ceiling light above him before making eye contact with Brendon.

“Yeah,” Brendon laughed. Ryan began putting on his clothes and trying to get himself together again.

“Should we, uh, finish cleaning?” Ryan offered unsurely. He really didn’t want to finish scrubbing Mr. Wentz’s classroom after that whole experience between puking and getting blown. Brendon scanned the room and contemplated it a bit.

“No, I don’t think so. I doubt Mr. Wentz will mind,” Brendon said quietly. Ryan grinned and they both rose to their feet. The clock said it was now 5:20 and they both needed to get homework done and get home so they didn’t get reprimanded by parents. Brendon grabbed the broom and dustpan from behind him. “I have to drop these off at the supply closet,” Brendon explained. Ryan nodded and grabbed the rag from the desk he was working on before handing it over to wash Ryan’s semen off of his hand. “Oh, thanks.”

They both walked out of the building together and stood awkwardly at the doors in front of the gravel parking lot.

“Um, I’m going to go walk home,” Ryan stuttered. Brendon nodded and looked out at the parking lot.

“Yeah, my mom’s here.”


“So, uh, see you tomorrow?” Brendon half smiled.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” Ryan nearly bit his tongue. He knew it probably wouldn’t happen and that they’d just be awkward and distant but it was nice to lie.

FWB with Nate

Friends with benefits with Nate would include:

“Shit! Derek’s coming”

“Put your clothes on! Sammy’s home”

Getting caught by Swazz

Late night booty calls

Car sex

Funny snap chats

Whispering dirty things to each other

Fans asking if you’re dating

Nate getting jealous when people hit on you

Being afraid of someone catching feelings

High sex

Rough sex

Sleepy sex

Sex in the shower

Bringing him food when you come over

Having a key to his house

He has a key to your house

“Will you two just get married already”

Your roommate finding Nate on the couch or in the shower

Playing with his hair

Secretly feeling each other up at dinner

Nate discreetly touching your ass

“We’re out of condoms”

Late night grocery shopping

Getting high together

“Lil Mama”

“I’m not going to call you Papi”

101 Futurama Sentence Starters

1. “Oh, crap! It’s a miracle!”

2. “Things don’t exist simply because you believe in them.”

3. “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

4. “Why don’t you just go to hell!”

5. “This is a cool way to die!”

6. “Every time I interfere, I only make things worse.”

7. “You’re better off solving your own problems.”

8. “Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.”

9. “This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened.”

10. “I feel like I just went ten rounds with Mighty Thor.”

11. “I feel like I got mauled by Jesus.”

12. “I don’t believe that story for a second.”

13. “When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?”

14. “It’s very important that you never, ever tell anyone. Under any circumstances!”

15. “I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside, where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.”

16. “As if our lives weren’t miserable enough already.”

17. “Let the punishment commence.”

18. “I think I saved us somehow.”

19. “What is going on here?”

20. “Who the hell are you?”

21. “Stop right there. I don’t want to hurt you.”

22. “Isn’t there anything else you can tell me?”

23. “Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.”

24. “You must despise us.”

25. “This is the happiest moment of my life!”

26. “I just hope they like me.”

27. “You’re my hero.”

28. “Don’t you know anything about girls?”

29. “Well, I don’t remember any of that. But I don’t have the wherewithal to defend myself.”

30. “What have I done?”

31. “Hey, hey, we can all fight when we’re drunk.”

32. “That was incredible!”

33. “If I could feel anything right now, it would be pride.”

34. “I feel terrible about what happened.”

35. “If you’ll accept my apology, I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us.”

36. “No beer until you’ve finished your tequila!”

37. “I’m not familiar with the sort of thing I’m seeing.”

38. “Why do these popular kids consider you cool all of the sudden?”

39. “I’m afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face, no.”

40. “I’ve been a fool. A fully-justified, prudent fool.”

41. “I forgot you could tempt me with things I want.”

42. “I’m sorry for insulting your intellect. Your tiny, tiny intellect.”

43. “I may not be clever, but I have a good heart.”

44. “I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight I want to not throw up on you.”

45. “I’m so angry! But also sad. But I’m still pretty angry. But … also sad.”

46. “I could eat. And fertilize.”

47. “My whole life I’ve been mad at him. And it wasn’t his fault.”

48. “I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn’t make it.”

49. “Wait! Can I still change my mind?”

50. “That’s the dumbest thing anyone has ever done.”

51. “Admit it! You don’t care about the inner me at all!”

52. “I don’t know what to do! Do you think I should eat more butter?”

53. “I have everything I ever wanted. Money, wealth, riches.”

54. “I’m attracted to you as I’ve ever been!”

55. “In another city, we could be anyone we want.”

56. “Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay.”

57. “I like killing brave things.”

58. “I’ll need accomplices.”

59. “Get out! It’s not fun anymore! I want to be alone!”

60. “I tried to scream, but I barfed.”

61. “I’ve never been so moved. And I see no reason to begin now.”

62. “I am partied out.”

63. “I do love a man in uniform.”

64. “So he didn’t really want to marry me?”

65. “There’s never a cop around when you need one.”

66. “Funny thing about destiny. Sometimes fate has other plans.”

67. “I have no idea what’s going to happen next.”

68. “I’m a pathetic freak. My life is over.”

69. “I’ll never have another moment of happiness.”

70. “She has issues. I’m fine.”

71. “I don’t wanna hit on anybody I already had sex with.”

72. “I’m scared and great at sex!”

73. “I wish I could go with you, pal.”

74. “There’ll never be another like him.”

75. “I refuse to believe anyone is happy!”

76. “Thank you for being my hero.”

77. “I was going to ask you to marry me!”

78. “I deserve this, and more. Keep it coming.”

79. “Oh God, what have I done?”

80. “Don’t hug me, I’ve done a horrible thing!”

81. “For God’s sake, somebody teach me a lesson!”

82. “How was your day?”

83. “I find both genders supremely disappointing.”

84. “Never bet against me being stupid.”

85. “Really, what are we missing out on by not having sex right now?

86. "Being human isn’t just about being happy.”

87. “Welll…Hello from the neck down.”

88. “Did you know there are more than two feelings?”

89. “I suppose I should know your name if I’m going to be drinking ten gallons of alcohol with you.”

90. “I guess I’m just feeling uneasy about us being so on-again off-again.”

91. “If it were up to me, we’d be on all the time.”

92. “If we were together, where would we be ten years from now.”

93. “It’s time for me to leave and make a fresh start.”

94. “It’s good to see you. Is it good to see me?”

95. “I just don’t get why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight!”

96. “You and I are through!”

97. “Of everyone I’ve ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.”

98. “You always say just the wrong thing in just the right way.”

99. “Everything will be okay so long as my parents don’t find out.”

100. “You’re just jealous, because you’ve never known true love!”

101. “This has gone too far!”

[I would like credit, please. Thank you!]

anonymous asked:

griezmann Imagine? :-)

jesus, sorry, this did not end the way i’d planned for this to end lol. hope you like it anyway 💩😂💕

You can’t move, can’t think, can barely even breathe when you see him standing there, his arm slung around a woman’s shoulders lazily, her body slightly leaned against his as he’s talking to one of Atlético’s managers.

He looks great in that suit. The thought strikes your mind as abruptly as lightning, and it’s just as blinding, just as debilitating. Heat crawls up your neck, all the way up to your cheeks, and you want to look away, need to, have to, but can’t. He’s always had that effect on you, always managed to keep you close, wanting more. How ironic. You want to laugh. Maybe you do. You’re not sure because you don’t feel anything but his presence, even if he’s a few feet away.

Antoine laughs — you don’t hear it, can only see it from where you’re standing, a glass of already lukewarm champagne in your trembling hand, but you know exactly what it sounds like. You’ve memorized him so well, too well, that you know which sounds accompany which miens. The woman next to him, his date, looks up at him, a surprised bark of laughter falling from her red lips.

Again, you remind yourself to try and tear your gaze away. Again, it doesn’t work. Ridiculous, you think, that you’re standing here on your own, at a lame party thrown to celebrate the most outstanding footballers of 2016, watching your ex and his new girlfriend. You can’t help but wonder if maybe he’s proposed to her already? If maybe she’s the one he can actually imagine spending a life with?

Huffing, you finally manage to look away. It’s ten in the evening now. Maybe you can just leave? Surely your boss wouldn’t be too pissed if you just said you couldn’t get any of the nominated footballers to give a short interview? Cristiano Ronaldo, for example, hadn’t even shown up so far.

Nah. That idea is crap and not an option. You need to keep your job, after all.

Thankfully, you catch sight of Gareth Bale pushing his way through the crowd, a polite smile on his face. With a deep breath, you walk over to him. It is an interview with questions he’d probably heard a million times this evening already, but he laughs and grins and says how grateful he is to have had all these great opportunities and moments, and god, he is nice. You see an engagement ring adorning his ring finger. Lucky woman. Your heart aches at the thought.

It’s not like marrying is your biggest goal in life, of course. You’re not obsessed with marriage. In fact, growing up, you hadn’t even wanted to marry at all — but then you’d met Antoine who has had every character trait you’d ever looked for in a man. He’s funny, spontaneous, sweet, caring, knows what he wants out of life. And apparently marrying you isn’t one of these things. It had hurt when he told you that he didn’t want to get married; especially since you’d later learned from one of his friends, Sebastian, that he’d sometimes talked about how and where he wanted to marry.

Sighing, you take a sip of champagne. It warms your chest a little already, so you decide to not drink a second glass after this. It wouldn’t look that professional if you stumbled around at this event, your press card a dead giveaway. Then again, it’s not super professional to just stand around and watch your ex boyfriend all the time. (Thank God you had managed to get a few footballers to do an interview already.)

“A glass of champagne, ma'am?” A waiter holding a silver tray with what looks like twenty flutes on it asks. He offers a beaming smile when you look at him. He’s quite attractive, very young still. Maybe he’s an aspiring pro footballer working here to see what it’s like off the pitch?

“Oh no, thank you. I’m good,” you answer, wiggling your half-full glass in your hand gently.

His smile grows wider. “Ah, hadn’t seen that. Sorry. Can I ask you something?”

A little confused, you nod.

“You’re Griezmann’s ex, aren’t you?”

You nod again, pressing your lips together. Then, you smile. You’re a professional. Even if this evening is a nightmare.

“What’s he like? Like, I’m sorry if that’s uncomfortable to you, but I admire how far he’s come with all those obstacles in his way.”

You’re his ex but still your heart melts at this boy’s words. He’s so right, you’ve always felt the same way, always been so proud, still are. And it hurts even more now, oddly, because he’s nominated for the best player of 2016 and you’re not here with him to celebrate. No, you’re here to interview him and even that you feel like you won’t be able to do.

Finally you understand why people shouldn’t fall in love with clients, co-workers, et cetera. It’s horrible.

“He’s great. He knows what he wants and he’s worked very hard, still does, of course. He always wants more but he hasn’t forgotten where he’s from. He’s an amazing idol to have,” you say, a lump in your throat. Jesus Christ. So much for being professional. But the boy looks happy, grinning excitedly. “Hey, I’m sure you can go over and talk to him. He’s really nice and he loves talking to people. You’re a footballer, too?”

“Yeah, I’m in Atlético’s youth team. Are you sure?”

“Oh, congrats. That’s awesome,” you say, “and yes, sure. He’ll appreciate it.”

He beams even wider now. You like him. “Okay, I will. Thank you!”

With that, he walks over to Antoine, his movements a little stiff with nervousness. He’s left the tray on the bar table next to you. Rolling your eyes, you grab one of the flutes. One more won’t do you harm.

You watch as the boy starts talking to Antoine, who has turned around to face him fully, a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his blue eyes.

But then your heart drops, your cheeks burn and there are a million thoughts rushing through your brain all at once because suddenly, the boy lifts his arm to point right at you. Right at where you’re standing, staring at Antoine.

So that’s what you get for being nice. Great. At least now you finally manage to turn away and avert your gaze from Antoine. Instead, you focus on your phone, acting as if you’d gotten an important text message that you need to reply to immediately. You feel how fake that looks. Thankfully there is, in fact, a text sent by your boss popping up on your iPhone’s screen, asking how it’s going. Awful, you should reply if you were honest. Fine, you text back instead.

“So I’m an amazing idol to have, huh?”

You jump at the sound of Antoine’s deep voice, quickly looking up from your phone to see him standing in front of you, his hands buried in his dress pants’ pockets. He looks even better now that he’s closer and you can really, actually look at him.

You shrug. “He’s an aspiring pro footballer, you’re nominated to be the best this year. So, yes, you are. Congratulations, by the way.”

Antoine smiles. “Thank you. You’re here on business?”

Raising your eyebrows, you study him. He knows you are, of course — your press card is hardly invisible. There’s no other reason you’d be here anyway; it’s not like you’re anyone’s date anymore. Jeez, that’s bitter.

“Why else would I be here?”

“Why are you so snippy?” Antoine gives back. “If you’re here on business, shouldn’t you be nice? Representing your office and all that?”

You lean closer because what you’re saying next is meant for only Antoine to hear. Representing your office and all that. Asshole. “Fuck you.”

Antoine laughs. He seriously, actually laughs. You’re so taken aback that you can’t say anything in response, merely glare as you watch him snicker.

Fury licks its way up your spine. You bite the inside of your cheek as you straighten again, then take another sip of champagne. Now you regret holding yourself back with the alcohol.

“What?” you snap. You do, however, follow that up with a smile. Be a professional, you repeat in your head like a mantra. If it works, you’re not sure.

Antoine shrugs, his laughter dying slowly. “Nothing. It’s just— Doesn’t your boss want you to interview the nominees?”

“Yes. So?”

“I’m a nominee.” He grins. Nice to see he’s having a good time. You roll your eyes.

“Okay,” you say, producing your recorder, “How do you feel about this award?”

“Oh, come on. You can do better than this.”

You flash your eyes at him. Why does he look so relaxed while you’re fuming? It’s annoying. “Is this how you’d talk to any reporter?”

Antoine rolls his azure eyes. They’re the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen, but right now they do nothing but inflict anger inside of you. “Of course not.”

“Good. Because this,” you motion between the two of you, “is business.”

“You’re not business to me.”

Digging your teeth into your bottom lip, you glare at him. “Yes, I am. I’m a reporter. And you wanted me to interview you, so don’t be an asshole.”

“You’re my ex girlfriend, Y/N. I can’t pretend you’re just a reporter. But yeah, you’re right. Sorry. Ask me a question.”

“I have already.”

“Ask me a question I haven’t heard a million times tonight.”

You take a deep breath. “I didn’t study journalism for fun, Antoine. I know how to do an interview.”

Antoine shrugs but finally answers your question. “I’m very grateful to be here. I was lucky meeting all the right people in my career so far and I wouldn’t be where I am without my family, friends and fans. Thank you.”

“That’s a lame answer.”

“It was a lame question.”

Another deep breath. You decide it’s better to put the glass of champagne away before its contents end up on Antoine’s expensive designer suit. The last thing you want to do is make a scene. Be professional.

“Do you think you deserve to win this award?”

“I am nominated. So, yes. But so do Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo. And many others who weren’t nominated.”

“Very considerate. Did you bring a date tonight?”

Immediately, Antoine grins, leaning against the bar tables next to him.

“I thought we were talking business?”  

“I thought we were more than business.”

He smiles wider but doesn’t answer. It pisses you off. He does.

“Did you?” he asks after a moment.

“No. I’m here on business. Thought we’d established that.”

“Well, technically, so am I.”

“I know you enjoy those evenings. This is hardly work for you,” you say.

“It’s work before the event. Getting prepared, dressed, trying to be there on time.”

You catch the little jab at you and you don’t miss the way his eyes sparkle with mischief when the words fall from his mouth; you’d always taken too long getting ready, and it had annoyed him. Either that, or you’d gotten out of your clothes to have sex before driving off. Antoine had always been into you, especially when you were wearing dresses. Low-cut ones in particular. You feel hot all over just thinking about the way his burning eyes had felt flickering over you, taking in every inch of your body.

“I wasn’t the one to get hard within a minute. And finish first.”

“That happened once.” He is right but he does look insulted, crossing his arms over his chest, his face all hard lines. You smile at him.

“You were in time today, weren’t you?”

Antoine nods.

“So, is she missing something?” you ask, gesturing in his date’s direction discreetly. Antoine keeps his eyes on you, cold and hot at the same time. He’s always been confusing like that. Somehow, you liked that about him because even though you knew he loved you, it kept things exciting.

“Is your boss going to listen to this?” he shoots back, pointing at the recorder. “Not sure you’re supposed to ask about someone’s sex life.”

“Oh, sorry. I hear you’re referring to it as ‘sex life’ instead of ‘love life’, which is the probably more established phrase. Anything to comment on that?”

“I take it you’re still pissed about the marriage situation?”

You force yourself to keep your eyes focused on him. You know you’ve had that one coming, having had provoked him. “No. I’m over it.”

Antoine nods. “You know Sebastian was in love with you?”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you shake your head. “Bullshit. He’s one of your closest friends. Of course he was not.”

“Yes, he was.” He leans forward. “For a while, actually. That’s why he told you those things about me not wanting to marry you.”

“Bullshit,” you repeat, voice quivering. Being professional, as usual.

“Maybe you should’ve given me a chance to explain before breaking up and running away.”

“Bullshit.” Your voice is more a whisper now than anything else. Absent-mindedly, you click the recorder’s red button, stopping the audio recording.


“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you just ran away and wouldn’t answer any of my texts, calls, or the doorbell.”

He’s right. You stare at him.

“And I was pissed because you just believed him. I didn’t understand why since I think I made it pretty clear I was in love with you. So why would you think I wouldn’t want to marry you one day?”

You can’t answer. You don’t know what, even if you could. So you just continue to stare, as if you were paralyzed by his words, by the intensity of his gaze, by his proximity.

And suddenly, there’s that woman by his side, her fingers curling around his wrist. “Hi, sorry to interrupt,” she says, her voice silvery, her smile sweet, “but it’s time to go take our seats, Antoine.”
He glances at her, nods, looks back at you.

“Thank you for the interview,” is the last thing he says before he leaves, hand in hand, with her.

Awful, you should have texted your boss.

anonymous asked:

Current Tsuna and Yamamoto get switched with their 10 years younger self and boy oh boy!! Their younger s/o is there too. What would they do to help their younger self get the girl a little easier (and earlier, if they choose to?)


- He is not above flirting with them the whole five minutes they have together. Having ten years of experience, he knows exactly what pickup lines are affective on his S/O and what ones aren’t. He does this with the purpose of appearing a lot more suave than he actually is (it’s sort of cheating, but he doesn’t really care because it’s hella effective).

- He doesn’t do anything untoward or sexual. For one, his 10-years-younger!S/O is a minor currently. For another, said S/O isn’t in a relationship with him (YET). Say what you will about his womanizing tendencies and charm, but he has standards… But he’s totally going to brush a hair lock out of their face. Perhaps an overly-familiar hand on their shoulder. Stroke a cheek with his knuckles gently. TAKES THEIR HAND AND KISSES THE BACK OF IT.

- Foreshadowing. So, so much foreshadowing about their future together. It couldn’t be more obvious about the relationship he has with them in the future. His goal is to get the S/O thinking about the possibilities and get the ball rolling, because his 10-years-younger!self wasn’t at the stage of being assertive enough to make a move without a little nudge… While his S/O on the other hand definitely was at that age.


- Is this generally sweet and loving presence… with a little something extra in his gaze. He’s charming; so easy to talk to and get along with that his 10-years-younger!S/O is almost disappointed after the five minutes are up. Almost, because there’s still the Yamamoto from their time who they are now very interested in getting to know.

- After explaining that he’s Yamamoto from the future, he’ll tell non-sensitive stories of both tyl!him and tyl!S/O. It’ll be vague enough on the exact dates and verbatim, but there will be enough details that it’s still interest and (probably) funny. He’ll squeeze in hints that the two of them are together (if not married) in the future. Saying things like ‘our apartment’, you’re always so cute when you first wake up in the morning’, 'dine-out nights are always fun, different restaurants each time except to visit old favorites’, etc.

- If he and his S/O are already married in the future, you can bet that he’ll casually gesture with his ring hand so that the S/O will see it, a lot. If they ask, Yamamoto will fake confusion, saying 'wasn’t it obvious? I’m married to you, Y/n!’ And with his low-key sense of dramatics, it’ll be timed to when the five minutes are up, so that he disappears right after making that declaration.


Liora: Darling, you just don’t know the danger we all are in. Irma, Gavin’s mother, has already found a caterer, and she thinks he’s good, but as far as I know he works at “Simburger“.

Ocean: What a strange name. Do they make burgers from sims?

Liora: I’m not sure, but they taste like they make them from soap.

Patrice: I don’t want a Burger Wedding anyway.

Liora: Funny thing, it was your dream when you were seven.

Patrice: Yes, and I wanted to marry Moominpappa.

Ocean: Wasn’t he already married?

Patrice: Yes, but I wanted to lure him with the Burger Wedding.

keep me safe inside (your arms like towers)

bellarke + season 1 au, featuring: a truce with the grounders, a clarke/miller brotp, #wellslives and the 100 sticking it to the adults. background linctavia if you squint. 

a/n: this is really different from anything i’ve written before and i’m hella nervous! the title is taken from the song “we are broken” by paramore but i promise it’s not as ominous as that makes it sound. 

read it here on ao3!

Clarke used to wonder what it would be like to live on Earth, but she never thought it would be like this.

At age seventeen, she’s sent to the ground. She gets to the ground in a rickety metal ship, everyone around her screaming, and she’s convinced that she’s going to die. There’s no way they secured the ship in enough time to get everyone to the ground in one piece.

In a few minutes, it’s over. The silence is unsettling, after years and years of living on a spaceship with the constant hum of machinery running in the background. When a boy (man, really, he has to be older than everyone else on the ship) wants to open the doors, she shouts for him to stop, and he glances at her like she’s nothing.

She thinks she hates him on sight. She hates the way he looks at her — like she’s just some stuck-up teenager who doesn’t know anything and who doesn’t fit in with anyone else.

She hates that she thinks he’s right. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I really hope I made it in time! Okay, so this request might seem weird but could it be Suga, Yama, Kuroo and Akaashi's s/o writing a journal to their future life partner and the boys reactions to receiving said journals? Thank you! I really love y'all's blog :D

thsi is so d amn cute anon com e here let me hug you i’m g onna cry *runs away* putting this under a cut as it’s rather long due to me having too much fun with this. again.

Keep reading

Imagine for Kasey!

You woke up to two text messages. It was only 8 am, but then you could always count on the boys to have exciting plans for you.

Well, at least one of them did.

As nice as both of these texts were, you had always wished that Finn would be the one to text you a simple “Good morning” or “How’s your day going?” Jack only did it because he was your best friend, and usually just wanted to make sure you weren’t getting into any kinds of trouble with out him. For the longest time, you had such a big crush on him. Actually, since the first time Jack had brought you to his house for a “play date.” You were only five years old, but the crush had stuck ever since. But, Jack being your best friend, you could never say anything to Finn about your feelings. It wouldn’t be worth losing Jack over.

Obviously, Jack knew about your crush. It was his obligation as your best friend to know about such things, and a crush on his twin brother was no exception.

Smiling and Finn’s message, you pushed yourself out of bed and padded to the bathroom while typing out “Sure:)” You set the phone down, but it almost instantly rang with another text.

 Your knees went weak. You had a love/hate relationship with the way he talked to you. You loved that he said things like that, but hated that they weren’t real. Always calling you things like “love” or “princess” and saying overly romantic things. He did it jokingly, of course, all because of a comment that jack had made once. You were at jacks house watching a movie with the boys. Jack had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and something funny happened. Jack came back to the two of you laughing and leaning on each other and had said, “Oh, why don’t you two just get married already?” Finn had “proposed” to you on the spot, and the two of you had been “engaged” ever since. Jack always hated when it came up though. He didn’t like that Finn regarded you so jokingly.

You finally got in the shower, after your legs stopped shaking from Finn’s text. When you got out, there was another text on your phone, from Jack.

and of course you needed no further explanation. Since you were going to lunch, you decided to straighten your hair, and put on a little extra make up so that you would look nice. When you were finally satisfied with your reflection, you got dressed and headed over to the boys flat.

When you got there, you walked right in. You couldn’t remember the last time you actually knocked on the Harries’ front door. You have been comfortable there since age 7.

“Jack!” You called out. There was no response, which was confusing. Where would he have gone in the span of an hour since he texted you? Shrugging your shoulders, you made your way up the stairs  to go towards his bedroom. You knocked. No answer. You opened the door, and no one was in there. You made your way over to the bed and were about to text jack when someone grabbed you from behind.

“GOTCHA!” he shouted. You nearly jumped out of your skin and whipped around to find, not jack as you had expected, but Finn.

Usually you had to prepare yourself to see him, so his sudden appearance nearly knocked you off your feet. If it weren’t for his arms around your waist, you would have fallen over.

“Holy shit Finn!! How many times have I told you not to do that?!” you shouted. He had been laughing a second before, but now he looked awestruck. “What?” you asked, feeling your face to make sure nothing was stuck to it.

“You,” he said. “You look…beautiful today.” You usually laughed and brushed off his stupid little jokes, but this time, with his arms around you, and him sounding so sincere, you found it too hard. Swiftly, you pushed him away, and he seemed to snap out of his gaze. Before the awkward silence set it, Jack opened the door. “Oh, hey guys. Kasey, I didn’t hear you come in,” he said. Then he stopped moving. “Whoa, Kasey, are you wearing makeup?” he asked.

“Guys I wear make up every day.” You said, slightly annoyed that they had never noticed.

“Well, you look amazing today, Kase,” Finn said. His words rang through you, as they always did.

Apparently, they weren’t a big hit with Jack. “Finn,” he said, anger lacking through his words. “When is this stupid thing going to stop? Always joking around with how she looks? Its not right, Finn. How do you think it makes her feel?”

“Jack, its alright! I know he’s only joking! I mean, we have been joking about it for years. Its not a big deal.’ You said. You could see this starting to become a real issue, and you would absolutely not be the reason for a fight between brothers. You knew way better than to get between them.

“No, he’s right,” said Finn quietly. You almost passed out.

“What?” Jack asked, clearly not expecting Finn to agree with him.

“You’re right Jack. I shouldn’t pretend like it’s all a joke, when the truth is that I’ve pretty much every word I have ever said. Well, besides that one time when–well never mind. The point is, Kasey, I have literally been in love with you since first grade. But I always knew you would end up with Jack, since—“

“Finn. Shut up,” said Jack. You almost threw your shoe at his head. Don’t tell him to shut up! He was professing his love to me! I’ve been waiting for this since I was five!

“Wait…you haven’t told her…” Finn started, but jack cut him off with a look.

“No, Finn. I haven’t.”

“Oh, well I just figured…it was so obvious…”

You snapped out of your dreamy haze, one filled with images of you and Finn running off into the sunset, and said “Told me what?”

Jack threw another glare at Finn. “Told you…that I am in love with you,” Jack said, with what seemed like great difficulty.



Jack, in love with you? That was something that you never imagined in your wildest dreams. But then of course, it was so painfully obvious, wasn’t it? All the good morning texts. All the times Finn proposed and joked with you and Jack told him to knock it off, or became extremely moody. Pretty much everything he had ever done for you was a signal screaming “HEY IDIOT, IM IN LOVE WITH YOU!” Your head was pretty much spinning.

Both of the Harries boys had professed their love for you in under a minute. How exactly had that just happened?

Oh yeah, you wore extra makeup today.

“Well,” said Finn, “that’s enough for me for one day. I’m just going to go…yeah, just go. See you two crazy kids later, yeah?” Finn looked pained, but he was trying to put on a brave face.

Go? Where was he going? I thought he was in love with me?

Jack was standing in the middle of the floor, looking at you apprehensively. “Well, Kasey, this is not how I had always imagined it would go, you know? I never imagined Finn was in love with you, just like I’m sure he never imagined I was in love with you. I just. I need to know what’s happening inside your head right now, you haven’t said anything for about five straight minutes and its driving me crazy.”

You hadn’t realized it had been that long. Oh, poor Jack! His brother was in love with his best friend. A best friend whom he knew had feelings for his brother. You stood up and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck. “Jack,” you whispered through tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, I figured it would be that way. I always knew you were in love with Finn, its my own fault for letting myself love you.” He pulled away, and looked at you.  “You know, Finn left because he thought you were in love with me, not him. When you didn’t say anything, he figured you were trying to take it all in. You should go to him Kasey. I’m sure he’s waiting. I know I would be,” he said.

You nodded and turned to open the door.

“Jack, you’re my best friend, okay? No one could ever replace you, not matter how much he happens to look like you.”

“Thanks. Now go, would you!” Jack said, smiling.

Laughing you ducked out the door.

Your anxiety had waited until you stood outside Finns door to crash on you. All the giddiness from realizing finn was in love with you was being suffocated by doubt. What if it was just another joke? Did he really mean it?

Well, there was only one way to find out. You knocked in the door, and heard Finns voice. “Needing relationship advice already, little brother? It hasn’t even been 10 minutes yet and already—“ He stopped when the door opened and saw it was you. “Oh,” was all he said. He was sitting on the edge of his bed with a picture frame in his hands. It was a picture from the night of the twin’s birthday, when the three of you went out to the beach at three am and went for a midnight swim. It was one of your favorite memories.

“I love that picture,” you said. You joined him on the edge of the bed, and took the picture from him. Someone had taken it for you, because Finn kept insisting the three of you needed a picture. You were in the middle of the two, and they were kissing your cheek. You remembered being able to feel where Finns lips had touched you for the rest of the night.

“Yeah, its quite accurate, isn’t it?” Finn said with a humorless laugh.

“Finn, I want to—“

“I should have known you were in love with him—“


“I mean, all the signs were there—“

“Finn! Will you shut up!” He did. You kissed him.

It was nothing like you ever imagined. He was surprised for about half a second, and when he did respond, you melted into his arms. You felt like you were flying, like you were weightless. He pulled you onto his lap, and fell backwards. Finally, he broke the kiss and whispered, “I have wanted to do that for as long as I can remember.” You rested you head on his chest. He was so warm, and smelled so amazing, you never wanted to move. You tilted your head up and kissed his neck. “Me too,” you whispered. Suddenly he was on top of you, kissing you again. “Well then we have got a lot of time to make up for, haven’t we?” he said.

“Were not making it to lunch, are we?”

“Hell, if I have anything to say about it, were not making it to dinner.”

Dan Howell Imagine

I’ve takne this from my wattpad, just to get this blog started. Please give any feedback to help me improve :)

You are a popular internet personality with over 4 million subscribers. You’re joining your best friend dan for a liveshow on younow.

“Hi internet. As you know, I have a very busy social life with the billions of cool people i know-” Dan begun. We had kind of planned a script to start but as he said that I couldn’t help but laugh. He looked at me, grinning.
“You’re supposed to be hiding until I announce that you’re here.” He said.
“I know but I couldn’t not laugh when you said that.”
I sat up, coming into view of the webcam.
The comments were exploading,

'Wheres phil?’
'I loved your new video’

We both tweeted about the liveshow and more and more people joined. It was suprising that it didn’t crash.
Dan suggested that we all (me, him and the internet) play truth or dare.

“Okay. So y/n, truth or dare?” Dan asked as dramatically as possible.
“Urmm, truth.”
“*cough*wuss*cough*” Dan teased. I elbowed him.
“I am not a wuss. I’m simply not a daredevil.”
He shook his head, laughing. He read the comments until he found a good one to ask.
“Ha! Have you ever crashed a car?” Said Dan, already knowing the answer.
I sighed, smirking.
“Yes. Twice actually. But they weren’t serious or anything, barley even scratched the car.”
“One was on the way to my apartment” Dan chirped in, enjoying my embarrassment.
“Ha ha yes very funny. Let’s not discuss it.”
Already people in the comments were asking Dan truth or dare, so I used that as an escape.
“Right. Dan, truth or dare?”
“Dare.” He replied.

'marry me’
'Kiss phil!!!!!!!!’
'KISS!!!! OTP’

Most of the comments were things like kiss or make out. The comments were going so fast it was almost impossible to read. After a minute of just watching them, dan said,
He smirked, and pouted his lips.
I looked at him questioningly.
“They want us to kiss.”

'where’s phil’

“Are you serious” I asked.
He didn’t responde. And I couldn’t say anything because his lips were on mine. My heart exploaded. I couldn’t move. I felt as though I wasn’t on earth anymore.
Am I in love with Dan?

I’m in love with Dan.

The kiss was long, soft and beautiful. When we broke apart everything had changed. Everything felt so different.
Younow had crashed. Phil was stood in the doorway, staring and smiling.
I looked back at Dan. His chocolate brown eyes were looking right back at me. He leaned in again and for a second time, i was brought out of the world. It was the same, if not better, that the first time. It felt like a dream. I put my hands in his hair, deepening the kiss.
“Woah. Guys. Get a room.” Phil said.
We seperated and laughed.
“So are you my girlfriend now?” Dan asked.
I looked at him, smiling.
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
“Indeed I am”
The smile grew wider on my face

Elle UK

Bait and Switch

“Would Zayn Malik give Drake a lap dance?… Naturally, I wonder… Would Zayn go there?” 

“‘I wouldn’t be able to,’ he says with a shy smile. ‘I’m just not that great of a dancer. Maybe I’ll get a stunt double.’”

I guess that one bit must be the justification for why Zayn has a cover alongside Amandla Stenberg, Kristen Stewart, and Hari Nef.  I love Zayn- the real Zayn, not #realmusic Zayn- but the content of this story just makes no sense in the context of these covers.

Recording Again

“Next door his producer Malay (the man responsible for Frank Ocean’s album Channel Orange) is waiting to record with him for the first time since the debut record.”

I say once again, wasn’t he retiring?  Oh yeah, that’s probably also when the interview was conducted if the interviewer’s comments are true.

Exclusive Timing

How laughably convenient that The Sun reports the exclusive about Zayn and the band TV show just before the Elle UK article- the interview for which was done around 2 months ago according to the interviewer- which also mentions it, is released.

Fact Checking?

“as he then tweeted, ‘a normal 22-year-old… out of the spotlight’.”  

Wrong? Pretty sure without checking that was only through the One Direction Facebook account and checking reveals that he was silent on Twitter from March 17th to April 17th just as I remember.  I sound just like my dad when he complains now, but I fact check my posts better than most press fact check their stories anymore.

Can We Get Through Just One Interview Without the Interviewer Having Designs on Their Subject?

“a stare of such skin-tingling intensity that you’ll recognise it if you’re one of the 554 million people who watched the PiLlOwTAlK video.

With me, sadly, he largely avoids such direct eye contact”

Politics and Religion

“But Zayn doesn’t want to join me in slagging off Trump, nor talk about politics or religion at all. On these issues, as with others that might prove controversial, he skillfully swats away questions, the result, perhaps, of years of media training under Cowell’s reign. To be fair to him, on the occasions he has let his guard slip it hasn’t gone well. When he tweeted #FreePalestine in 2014 he was bombarded with Islamophobic hate and death threats.”

They’re pushing this in every single interview to the point where it really makes me curious.  I could see this being Zayn’s actual feelings maybe, but the point is always elaborated on so much that it feels more like official narrative BS.  My best guess is that they want to take advantage of Zayn’s background, but don’t want to get too into the serious issues for fear it would mess up whatever they’re using his bizarre solo image for.  It’s certainly not being used to help his music career anyway.


“Zayn travels with a Mariah Carey-sized entourage: one publicist, two stylists, a tailor, a groomer, an assistant, another assistant, and managers one, two and three. Each team member is dressed primarily in black. He hangs with this LA crew out-of-hours and, judging by the high-fives and the lad banter, it’s clear they’re close. Recently the set have started karaoke competitions”

Sentence 1: excessive, Sentence 2: WTF????, Sentence 3: emphasis on LA, Sentence 4: thank you (not really) for intentionally reminding everyone of that racism fuckery (and no, not originating from Zayn)

“I ask if he still has mates back home? He shakes his head. ‘I haven’t been in touch with my friends from Bradford for a long time. I’m too busy. I work too much.’”

It might just be me, but I feel like the hanging out with the LA crew and having karaoke competitions is meant to contrast with the question about his Bradford friends to make him look bad.  He has time to mess around with everyone in LA, but he doesn’t even have time to call and text (even if he can’t visit) with his friends from before he was famous.  That’s just the implication I felt they were trying to make everyone believe by how the flow was set up.

Zigi isn’t painfully contrived, not at all.

“The pair met recording the video for his debut track PiLlOwTAlK last November”  

Oh, is that the story?  I hadn’t noticed if they’ve said that before. They probably have and I missed it.  Anyway, we can conveniently explain away how Gigi being in Zayn’s video isn’t at all related to her being in her former “boyfriends’” music videos.

Necessary Edit

“When I ask Zayn about marriage and kids he says, ‘maybe one day’, but shoots me a look to suggest I am crazy if I think for a moment he is about to waste his days as a millionaire pop star in his early twenties on something as banal as that.”

Seriously?  Can I rewrite this?  Normally I try not to be too obnoxious, but this one is begging for it.  Isn’t it just that the interviewer misinterpreted that look that Zayn shot?

“When I ask Zayn about marriage and kids he says, ‘maybe one day’, but shoots me a look to suggest I am crazy if I think for a moment he isn’t already excrutiatingly happily married to Liam Payne and greatly looking forward to the day he can adopt children with him.”


“‘When I was in the band my appetite went a bit funny from the travelling, so now I’m getting in shape,’ he explains.”

Possibly one of the only true things in the article.

Photo Books Are the Epitome of Realness

“He’s also working on a photo book for his fans: ‘As much as social networking is a big thing now, there’s something to be said about having something real,’” 

How is a photo book real in comparison to social media and phones?  In the fact that it’s a material item used to make money from fans?  Just ask 1DHQ and Louis (and any of the other boys really).

I mean, you can make an argument against social media and constant texting, but why are photo books used as a contrast?  We know why, I guess.  Either that or someone copy and pasted a quote into the completely wrong part of the interview.

Cancellation Sabotage

“I’m due to see Zayn again a few weeks later at his first UK solo performance at Capital FM’s Summertime Ball at Wembley Arena: 90,000 adoring fans (and I) wait, waving banners and cheering his name in anticipation. But 15 minutes after Zayn is due on stage, an announcement is made that he won’t be coming out. Devastated kids slump in their chairs, and the crowd quickly exits the stadium on a low.”

Thank you for bringing up the cancellation.  Actually, especially thank you for bringing up the adoring fans who waved banners and cheered in anticipation only to be devastated, slump in their chairs, and exit the stadium on a low because of Zayn not being able to make it.  By “thank you” I mean, well, not “thank you”.

Whether you believe he has anxiety or that it’s a story being told to cover his team deliberately sabotaging his career, it’s hard to argue all that build up and let down imagery was necessary.  Chalk that up to the second time his team’s sabotage and/or injurious incompetence was brought up in this article.

Can someone (the author?, Zayn’s team?, Simon Cowell?) please make a decision about whether Zayn is a pretentious, diva fuckboy, or a sensitive, insecure introvert? 

sensitive, fame-shunning introvert:

  • “he says with a shy smile”
  • “almost bolted”
  • “I just don’t have it in me to feel fully secure in anything I do”
  • “I’m just stressed out trying to control how I’m perceived"
  • “I think about things a lot”
  • “avoids such direct eye contact, hiding behind a pair of eyelashes”
  • “consistently looked uncomfortable”
  • “his voice is soft”
  • “if someone told me Zayn was still 17, I wouldn’t doubt them”
  • “awkward hug”
  • “seems vulnerable and cautious”
  • “which is both endearing… and also a tiny bit heartbreaking”
  • “apparently living the dream, and yet he doesn’t seem entirely sure about it”
  • “it was a sheltered upbringing”
  • “being quiet, polite and entirely un-divaish”
  • “his uncompromising and unknowingly earnest way”
  • “one day I’d like to move to the countryside in the UK, have a farm, away from the fame”
  • “his crippling anxiety”

bad boy fuckboy: 

  • “despite the rebellion”
  • “ultimate contrarian move”
  • “a furrowed brow that radiates moody machismo”
  • “a stare of such skin-tingling intensity”
  • “I wonder how Gigi, the ultimate Californian girl, understands a single word. Perhaps a relationship like theirs doesn’t need much dialogue”
  • “the high-fives and the lad banter”
  • “break-ups and make-ups, it’s part of being young”
  • “when I ask Zayn about marriage and kids … [he] shoots me a look to suggest I am crazy if I think for a moment he is about to waste his days as a millionaire pop star in his early twenties on something as banal as that”
  • “his willingness to take risks”
  • “it takes someone with Zayn’s confidence and self belief to make it happen”
  • “would like to bulk up a bit”
  • “started dating fashion’s most in-demand supermodel” 

pretentious diva: 

  • “moved to Hollywood”
  • “all the characteristics of an archetypal hipster”
  • “travels with a Mariah Carey-sized entourage”
  • “each team member is dressed primarily in black”
  • “authenticity is the key to being a successful artist, and to being iconic”
  • “I haven’t been in touch with my friends from Bradford for a long time. I’m too busy. I work too much”
  • “a relationship documented by black and white Instagrams, red-carpet appearances, paparazzi shots and millions of column inches”
  • “if I had a choice I would take the camera off everyone’s iPhone and make sure we didn’t have Twitter or Facebook. It affects art forms” 

attempt at reconciliation: 

  • “I wonder to myself if Zayn might indeed have been happier as an English graduate living somewhere quiet, tending animals and growing crops. I quickly remember the Versace dressing gowns, the supermodel waiting in his bed, that 13-person entourage and realise that’s unlikely: yes, he is torn, global megastar on one side, introverted artist on the other.”

Ok, writer-person, sure.  I’ll buy that the warring images you used to the point of causing whiplash in that article are because of Zayn’s split desires.  Oh, wait, sorry, I won’t.  

If it were a bit more subtle, then maybe, but his entourage all wear black? WTF is that even?  Are they beatniks or does Zayn not like anyone but himself to wear color or maybe that’s supposed to show how cool and bad they are?

OK already.  Enough with rewriting history about how miserable Zayn was during his years in One Direction.  

I guess it’s necessary to repeat it ad nauseam to really pound it into people’s heads when you’re lying through your teeth.  Yes, being under 1DHQ was (is) oppressive and creatively stifling, but Zayn appreciated the good bits as much as any of the boys and he certainly isn’t free right now.  His own clothing choices indeed.

  • “five hesitant years as part of the world’s most mercenary, chino-wearing pop group”
  • “throughout this meteoric ascent, Zayn consistently looked uncomfortable”
  • “he left behind guaranteed success, certain fortune and millions of adoring teen groupies to become, as he then tweeted, ‘a normal 22-year-old… out of the spotlight’”
  • “the album is a build up of six years and never being able to express what I wanted to say. I had something to get off my chest”
  • “he was breaking out from his past with One Direction, and truly representing himself as an artist”
  • “the result, perhaps, of years of media training under Cowell’s reign”
  • “authenticity is the key to being a successful artist”
  • “If you’re not going to be honest with people”
  • “since leaving One Direction I’ve been given the freedom to wear whatever I want and that’s made it more interesting. More creative”
  • “I started acting when I was in school with theatre studies and then music came after. It completely stopped when I joined the band but I’d definitely be interested if I was given the right role.”
  • “But for now Zayn Malik is living the life he wants, finally, on his own terms.” 

Alright already.  #realmusic.  We get it.  Zayn’s pathetic excuse for a team can go back to singing karaoke and planning their fashion careers now.

A little over a week ago the love of my life made my the happiest woman in the world by asking me to be his wife. I already knew long ago that I want to spend my life with him, but I had not expected that he would propose, especially not in the nearest future.

The funny thing is, I’ve never ever in my life wanted to get married. I’ve always felt the need to have an easy way out of a relationship. I think mostly because I’ve learned the hard way that whenever anything goes wrong soon after everything falls into pieces.

Still as soon as he asked, I couldn’t say “yes” quickly enough. Why? Because he’s different. He’s different than any other man I’ve met in my life, either friend or lover. We’ve been good friends long before any idea of a romantic relationship between us ever surfaced. He understands me like no one else. He can make me laugh at the silliest things. His warm smile can stop my tears in a heartbeat. For the first time in my life I feel safe and truly, unconditionally loved. He made me believe that I deserve to be happy, and gives me strenght to fight the demons that have been hauting me for years and made my life a living hell. I’m finally not scared of the future anymore, because I know that no matter what happens I will have him by my side to support and protect me.

For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I’m happy. And damn I want to marry this adorable psycho and keep him forever ♥

anonymous asked:

Why do you think Stephen said, in so many words, on the Comic Con carpet that he and Emily are strictly platonic, but in every interview there he was checking her out?

1. I want to say “Good luck with denying the obvious, man”, I mean, let’s play “Spot the difference” game. Oliver looking at Felicity on the left VS Stephen looking at Emily on the right:

let’s not forget that olicity happened bc of their natural chemistry, and it’s like 50% (okay 60%) Stephen’s fault.

2. like I said in this post, it was really funny, I was like “okay, you tried”:

3. obviously, bc he’s married. what do u want him to say? “I can’t stop staring at her”?

4. Stephen says a lot of things, he trolls us all the time, try to rewatch his old panels with spoilers about season 3 when you’ve already watched the whole season, this is really hilarious, he’s a natural troll. 5 mins after his “platonic circumstances” speech he says this:

5. I didn’t understand that speech at all btw. when he spends countless hours with someone for three years and has innumerable conversations with that person it wipes all the sexuality from the relationships… I was like “dude, pray, your wife hasn’t seen it” lol

6. if this is a platonic look then I’m a banana.

and that’s him platonically checking the open back of her dress at the panel: