the freedom to fall

Think of the last near-death scenario fantasy daydream you created
for yourself. The really dramatic one,
how it seemed only to peel away
from fact minorly
in its conception, as you were walking,
briskly, chin to the wind, to class, as does old paint
from a wall, whatever it takes
for you to fall asleep, refrain from questioning
your new freedom; the warmth
of the air as you walk home from the bar, alone, your white
phone mute
and celibate in the crook
of your arm, how no one tells you why, on the first try,
the door to your apartment opens, why no one
is holding me accountable, the clothing
hanging off, now, the body it once restricted. 
It was here, but now I’ve missed it:
Your profile beside me mythic, a trick
of the light. I’m not sure
if it is mine. 
I know this heart: its acoustic qualities that
of a glass vase, stiff
as a new face lift, retracting like pussy does
in new rap songs. I know its space. I know 
it is only as wrong
as I make it, but it fogs, gauzes easily. I cannot please
everybody, even the narrow everybody
that has congregated there in vespers, a gradeschool treehouse rife
with narrow tire scuffs. I think I am maybe
enough, or too much, whichever suits

the dream, the high, the side
of yourself you allow me to occupy. To die

is not enough, your dream-self reminds you. It has
to spasm, has to let one last snowy
momento fall
from the relenting fist as it gives in
to that great wide open, 
that fresh spring snow.

—  The Best Ever Dream-Death Fantasy #1, 8/16/17
The signs:

Aries: Something about you makes my blood boil in a unique, uncomfortable way, you are full of mystery. You have black holes for eyes, remarkably, that are too intense for most people to look into. You have no control over your greatness, you were born this way. Notice it and blossom. Not a single person on earth can blossom like you can. Not a single person can blossom like you will. You have great and empowering words to say in this life, make sure to say all of them without fear. You are not afraid. Be great.

Taurus: You are so lovely, the embodiment of nature, the embodiment of all the naturality in life created by the one and only, engulfing creator. I remember losing you and all nature that surrounded me seemed to shrivel and die. My heart ached when I heard the crunch under my feet of every dead leaf I walked upon. It brought me so much pain, i felt like death. I lost my vision and a bright white light came over me, fading into a soft glow and all I could see was your face. If I was dying, this was my glimpse of heaven, it made me want to die. I would rather die with your image in my mind than not have you in such a short, sometimes seemingly meaningless life such as this one. Perhaps you were just too lovely to be with someone like me, perhaps too lovely to be in my filthy grasp. You are my glimpse of heaven. How I long to be able to tell you that. How I long to be able to sing to you and whisper you the sweet words I never did. I am so sorry.

Gemini: I feel so naked when I’m with you. You strip me of my walls, you strip me of my guarded defenses, leaving me completely and utterly vulnerable. You shatter any mental boundaries I possess. You open my mind to the awareness of a mind. You show me to simply have a mind, such a power house is astonishing. You leave me breathless with your aura and creative, rhythmic way of speaking to everyone. You introduce open mindedness like no other, freedom like no other, a genius. With you, losing my mind and falling into madness is okay, almost a necessity. In life there simply seems to never be enough time. You show me how to embrace the lack of time we all have, you show me that death is the inevitable and that its not as important as we make it. The important thing is to experience life fully, entirely, with every part of our being. To be thankful of the rare oddity, the rare adventure we have all been gifted with called life, to dance with the music of life. I swear I’m out of my mind and that’s a wonderfully beautiful thing. Thank you for teaching me that.


Cancer: I would make love to you in the sweetest, most enticing way because I deeply believe you deserve to be made love to like no other. I hope you remain soft, I hope you have the strength to. I say this even though I know you will. You have always remained selfless, you have always remained kind, somehow. I do not understand how someone can turn such pain into beauty. Your creations are just as beautiful as you are, that is so admirable. You shock people with such generosity, you are completely, utterly and naturally divine to the point you are unhealthly wanted by every pair of eyes, even the blind. I swear its like the blind regain their sight in your presence. People notice you in a crowd, don’t doubt that. People especially notice you when you think you are not being noticed. You are the most beautiful conscious being and that will never change. You have angel lips as sweet as honey, your voice is melodic. I have always ached and dreamed for you to love me. Please one day love someone like me. Your being is so lovely that I can’t help myself from hopelessly weeping. You are a walking art piece, a priceless masterpiece. I lost everything the first time I looked in your eyes. I lost everything.


Leo: Remember that people want to be like you, just as much as you want to be like them. You can be admirable of others, you absolutely can be, but live your life knowing without a doubt that you are the best there is. Countless people admire you and want to be just like you. Effortlessly you shine brighter than the sun itself and when you smile, every pair of knees weaken, instinctively and inescapably bowing down to the ingenius design you are. Your mind and appearance radiate exuberance. I pray you can fathom just how special and gifted you are because you yourself are the unfathomable. You are inspiration and ambition, the abstract dreams I have at night that inspire my creativity, that lead me to create the never before seen. You are surrealistic art, our God’s most treasured and individualistic specimen. You are not only that but also the sun that lights the entire sky, you are the sun beams that sink into and warm my skin when I stand in such brilliant light. You are the light that keeps me from opening my eyes, preventing blindness but how I foolishly dont mind and long to go blind by such greatness.


Virgo: You remind me of sleep but you also remind me of night terrors. I feel like I don’t know who you are, slightly fearing you. Seemingly the most difficult puzzle to put together. I wonder and ponder if you are the worlds never ending puzzle, if I will ever figure you out, i have never been able to entirely comprehend your depth and mystery. You are almost frightening, shockingly and startlingly enchanting. You are hypnotic and maneuver with magic. I do not know the depth of your mind and apart of me never wants to. I enjoy the enigma you are, forever intriguing and intelligent. Ask me personal, peculiar questions and I will unintentionally and completely open up to you, instinctively trusting you. Your questions are always intense yet tender, your mind must be filled to the brim with intellect and perplexing art. Your mind is a masterpiece and your soul is ethereal. Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world. I hope you can live with and fall in love with your sly mind. I am in love. May you always be yourself, may you feel everything you are meant to feel in this life and may you surface from the darkness.


Libra: You are the bittersweet lonliness that the sad and dreamy ones feel midday, swirling like the wind, leading long, lovely hair to flow, swirlingly and gracfully making your way through clothes, sending goosebumps down backs, leaving a lasting, cold and drowzy sensation. You’re the words in a book that readers grow tiresome of until finally falling asleep, leaving them with their adventurous dreams connected to the adventurous story they just took in. I see you in every free, soaring bird. I feel you in every unique and precious song that lively birds compose. You are melody, rhythm, sound, the grand orchestra. You are poetry, expression, a famous sonnet. You walk with fearlessness, you live with each lovers name you’ve ever loved written and embedded on your flashy skin. You are autheticly rare and always ready to entirely open yourself up, to let the flowers you encompass within bloom for all to see , appreciate and mesmerize. My god, do people mesmerize you.


Scorpio: I’m so lustful of you, lustful out of complete, biting love. I’ve never fallen so deeply and madly in love with a soul, It is insanity. You are full of demons that I face from loving you everyday and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be you and live with them, deep inside, haunting and strange. I have been face to face with insanity, letting your wickedness and sin make its way within me. It all makes me more infatuated. No matter how hard I try to find your core, your raw center, I can never seem to dig deep enough, I can never seem to withstand the screams, painful howls and blackness that your inner monsters let out and intensely sophocate me with when I try. When I give up, it’s like you see my vulnerability and you see it as me being submissive, knowing this is when you can strip me naked and consume me entirely, this is when you know and are proud of the secrets you keep from me, this is when you know you own me because I will fail to figure you out, i will fail to get anything from you yet continuously crawl back for something, for anything I can get from you. You have me in a trance that I can’t snap out of, you need the control because it brings you security and deep, sinful satisfaction. You experience a sense of peace in knowing that you can cause me to feel pain so that you won’t feel so alone and lost in your own. I want to make love to you and feel the pain I experience from being in love with you. I am incapable of leaving you alone, regardless of the sorrow i experience. I will never let you feel alone. I will feel this pain with you, right by your side, my ride or die. You are not alone. Maybe this isn’t love, maybe it is just madness but I’ve always been mad.. but not as mad as you.


Sagittarius: You are the book of everything, a book holding all the knowledge in existence. You are the infinity sign, you are lively, always hungry for life and full of wisdom. Youre the feeling you get on a hot summer day, laying in the center of a sweetly scented meadow, taking in every bit of the sun, not being able to suppress a tight smile. Feeling at complete peace, no worries or a feeling of weight on your back, feeling free and open in the mind. I want to be alone with you and hear you speak about all the things that go on in your head. I imagine you have a billion things to say, or maybe nothing to say, it doesn’t matter. All you have to do is exist and you are performing one of the most incredible things possible. People forget that simply being alive is utterly mindblowing in itself. You give inspiring advice and shock people with your spunk and inner lightening. I appreciate your uniqueness and ability to be open to every side of a spectrum. You are the instant, refreshing feeling you get from diving into a cool pool on a hot day, your my child hood memories, you are the embodiment of an entirely fulfilled life. Your soul has lived a thousand different lives, you will exist for eternity. You are existence itself. Live free and die free, make your inevitable mark on this world. It belongs to you.

Capricorn: no one’s ever ready for what you’ve got to offer to this world, you can do so much with so little and have an achingly powerful mind and aura. You don’t have to do anything to shock and mesmerize mankind, just be yourself. You change the world with your ambitious actions, you change people simply with your way of presenting yourself. You are intelligence, skillful and have the ability to accept time, accept that everything takes time. That’s something a lot of people can’t do. You can do so many things others can’t, but you are not flashy. You are low-key while remaing self assured. Maybe you experience a lot of self doubt, but im telling you right now, you shouldnt. Your jokes and attitude are like a fun house, utterly amusing and dirty, sometimes scary. You are full of original ideas that you can easily bring to life. I hope you know how much you actually benefit and effect our species. You have immense purpose, see that you are the greatest and anything you want can be obtained. I hope you know how attractive and special you are. Absolutely outstanding.


Aquarius: life is a lonesome experience, you understand that more than anyone. You carry the weight of humanity itself with you everywhere you go on your back. To fit in seems like a maze that is unsolvable. Your aquarius minds are unending, no limitations, you are mad men. Not only ingenius but geniuses yourselves. You obtain something no one else can obtain and this can never be taken away from you. Nobody quite understands what makes you different, you dont even understand it yourself but you feel it deep within your bones. “I do not belong here, I do not belong anywhere and I don’t want to belong anywhere.” So hard to comprehend or understand, you are utterly perplexing but so fucking beautiful. I can’t fully convey in words how astoundingly beautiful each and every one of you are. Let someone take a look into your eyes and theyll travel through space, adventuring and absorbing the sight of multiple universes. Let someone take a long look at your face and watch them get lost in mesmerization. Magnetic, mystifying, heartless, mythical beings. A world such as this one does not deserve you or your revolutionary touch. You are the lone, last star of each ending night, still shining brightly as the sun begins to rise. Glowing alone to express your individuality, glowing as brightly as you can until the sun puts you out but you are always going to be there again when the sun goes down and you are always going to be the last one shining when it rises again.


Pisces: you are hands that are made to create art, you are the creases in the hands of an infant. You are the start of life, the start of plant life, the start of a human life, the start of an animals life. You are the smoke from my cigarettes, dispersing through out the air. I hear you everywhere I go, echoing in the back of my head as a guide to being a better person. You make me want to be a better person. You are the sweet cherries around my sweet ice cream, you’re the soft, enchanting scented lotion I spread on my skin. You are the goosebumps left after a lovers sensitive touch. You are the feathers that fill my softest of pillows. You are the sweetest of piano music ever played. I love you. I miss you. You will be with me.

Anakin…exists relative to the state of the galaxy. He is not Luke, he is not the youth of western literature on a journey; that is Luke’s role. Anakin’s role is that of the demi-god of Greek and Roman origin. When Anakin rises, the galaxy rises with him, when Anakin is in turmoil, the galaxy is in turmoil, when Anakin falls, so falls the galaxy. Anakin is intrinsic to the galaxy because Anakin, like so many other mythological demi-gods, is an avatar for the gods or, in the case of Star Wars, the Force. Regardless of any one person’s views on the Force (which are extremely disparate and widely varied, so we won’t broach that subject here), this fact is indisputable. Anakin, as the Chosen One who will “bring balance to the Force”, is its avatar. When Anakin is claimed by the Dark, the Jedi Order’s zenith is reached, the Balance is tipped, and the Order descends into darkness with Anakin, just as his return also signals theirs. 

The title ‘Return of the Jedi’ doesn’t just reference Luke becoming a Jedi, but Anakin’s return to the Light, and with it, the ability for the Jedi Order to once more flourish. In this he is much like Beowulf, when the Geatish hero sacrifices himself to defeat the dragon at the end of the epic poem. Failure would spell ultimate destruction for Beowulf’s people and country, just as, had Anakin failed to destroy the Emperor, the Jedi and the galaxy would truly have been wiped out. Anakin himself has to die, however, because he is what tips the scales. Once he dies and becomes one with the Force, only then is balance restored.

— 

‘STAR WARS: The Creation of a Modern Myth: Cultural Influence, Fan Response and the Impact of Literary Archetypes on Saga Perception’ 

(via muldertorture)

This right here is absolutely fundamental to understanding the entire purpose of the Skywalker saga, as Lucas so painstakingly told it. The destruction of the old Jedi Order that had ‘lost its way’ and forgotten its true role in the galaxy, and the founding of the New, heralded by Anakin’s return to the Light, and Luke’s essential role in reminding him—and us all—of what it means to be a True Jedi.

This blog 100% supports Loo Brealey, Mark Gatiss, Steven Moffat, and ALL the creative talents who have given us “Sherlock”, to do the work as they see fit & to not have to defend their work to, and be harassed by, disappointed, sourpuss knobheads who call their temper tantrums “concern” for character or proper representation.
freedom & escape

Where Sagittarius and Pisces are ruling on your chart can show where you want to explore and escape. Both signs are traditionally ruled by Jupiter, while Pisces is modernly ruled by Neptune. Where Sagittarius falls in your chart can show where you find your freedom. Where Pisces falls in your chart can show where you’d like to escape, in a realm that may not exist or be realistic. Jupiter and Neptune, being the rulers of Sagittarius and Pisces can show why.

If you have an interception in Gemini/Sagittarius in your natal chart, where Sagittarius is intercepted can often give a feeling of being caged. There is a feeling of not having any freedom, or any way to have freedom. Looking to where Jupiter is in your chart can show how and where you can get that freedom. There’s the feeling of, “I don’t know how to escape.” If you have an interception in Virgo/Pisces in your natal chart, where Pisces is intercepted can often give a feeling of being lost. Looking to Neptune can show how and where you can escape. There’s the feeling of, “I don’t know where to escape,” or “I don’t think I can escape at all.”

Sagittarius Ruling the Houses + Jupiter in the Houses

You find freedom through ___ but you can exaggerate to where you ___.

  • Sagittarius ruling the 1st: expressing yourself / are self-centered 
  • Sagittarius ruling the 2nd: what you value / stubborn
  • Sagittarius ruling the 3rd: your thoughts and words / are intellectually arrogant
  • Sagittarius ruling the 4th: your family and past / don’t focus on the future
  • Sagittarius ruling the 5th: your creativity / find your ideas scattered
  • Sagittarius ruling the 6th: the daily motions of life / are inflexible
  • Sagittarius ruling the 7th: your interactions with people / forget yourself
  • Sagittarius ruling the 8th: intimacy / don’t associate with others
  • Sagittarius ruling the 9th: exploring the world / get lost
  • Sagittarius ruling the 10th: your goals / forget where you came from
  • Sagittarius ruling the 11th: your friends and community / feel dispensable
  • Sagittarius ruling the 12th: your subconscious and dreams / can’t find reality

You want to keep your freedom because you’re good at ___.

  • Jupiter in the 1st: being yourself
  • Jupiter in the 2nd: valuing yourself
  • Jupiter in the 3rd: thinking and communicating
  • Jupiter in the 4th: staying comfortable and safe
  • Jupiter in the 5th: applying your inspirations
  • Jupiter in the 6th: going through routines
  • Jupiter in the 7th: interacting with others
  • Jupiter in the 8th: gaining intimacy with others
  • Jupiter in the 9th: exploring and learning
  • Jupiter in the 10th: working on your ambitions
  • Jupiter in the 11th: helping others
  • Jupiter in the 12th: healing others

Pisces Ruling the Houses + Neptune in the Houses

You escape from ___ but you ___.

  • Pisces ruling the 1st: yourself / are creative in expressing yourself
  • Pisces ruling the 2nd: your values / are unique in what you value
  • Pisces ruling the 3rd: your thoughts / are inspiring with your thoughts
  • Pisces ruling the 4th: your past / are strong from what you’ve dealt with
  • Pisces ruling the 5th: your passions / are beautifully imaginative
  • Pisces ruling the 6th: your daily routines / are creatively innovative
  • Pisces ruling the 7th: people / are kind and compassionate
  • Pisces ruling the 8th: your secrets / are empathetic and accepting
  • Pisces ruling the 9th: your discoveries / are open-minded
  • Pisces ruling the 10th: the world / are aware of the reality around you
  • Pisces ruling the 11th: your friends / can still be a good friend to them
  • Pisces ruling the 12th: your subconscious / are secretly aware of yourself

You escape because ___ can often be overwhelming for you due to your sensitivity.

  • Neptune in the 1st: your self-expression
  • Neptune in the 2nd: implementing your values
  • Neptune in the 3rd: thinking
  • Neptune in the 4th: recalling your memories
  • Neptune in the 5th: utilizing your creativity
  • Neptune in the 6th: the daily motions of life
  • Neptune in the 7th: other people
  • Neptune in the 8th: your secrets
  • Neptune in the 9th: your discoveries
  • Neptune in the 10th: your ambitions
  • Neptune in the 11th: your friends
  • Neptune in the 12th: your imagination

IT WAS THE FOURTH OF JULY

*breaks down your door*

YOU AND I WERE- 

*punches the wall*

YOU AND I WERE-

*rips down your posters*

FIRE, FIRE, FIREWOOOORKS

*jumps out the window*

THAT WENT OFF TOO SOON

*lies facedown in grass*

AND I MISS YOU IN THE JUNE GLOOM TOO