the fork in the garbage disposal


doseiai-kurage  asked:

Oookay. So. Mt/Us Bros come home to find their usually shy/reserved s/o dancing around the house in their underwear and the skeles shirt/hoodie (its cleaning day lmao) and like, singing at the top of their lungs and KILLING IT.

I wish I could sing. I can match pitch but that’s about it. I’m terrible XD.


Big Fella (Mt Sans): Well he certainly wasn’t expecting this. And he wasn’t expecting you to look so darn cute in his button up. You didn’t even notice he came in. You were too busy jamming out. And damn you could sing. Big Fella made a mental note to ask you about that later. But for now, he just wanted to enjoy the show. When you do spot him, he just chuckles and wraps his arms around you. ‘guess i should call you canary from now on.’

Tiny (Mt Paps): Tiny was shocked. You’re usually so reserved yet here you were dancing around in practically nothing and singing so loud that the Jones’ could hear you. The Jones’ live 2 blocks down. He had to admit, though, you had an amazing voice. Which is exactly why he joined you in the last verse. You were shocked. He was picking you up to continue the dance. You screamed. He hit the final note. It was glorious.

Blueberry (Us Sans): WOWIE DATEMATE I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD SING. Blue didn’t even notice what you were wearing until after you screamed. He’s definitely going to be asking you to sing to him later. But for now… OH UH… YOU’RE WEARING MY… *gulp*… OH DEAR. Blueberry.exe has stopped working. It was just too cute.

Stretch (Us Paps): Stretch somehow managed to stay out of your line of sight through the performance. Though, he was recording the whole thing. After you struck your final pose, he walked up, flashing his phone at you, and kissed you. If you weren’t blushing before, you were now. 'you’re pretty good, sweetheart. now let’s see about getting you out of my hoodie.’



Rocket’s Sparkling Personality

It’s another GotG slice-of-life fic, set in the same AU as Family Values.

“It’s so cute. I wanna die,” said Mantis. She and Gamora were peeping into the flight deck where Yondu was sprawled out in the captain’s chair, head lolling, mouth gaping open, and snoring loud enough to be heard all through the Milano. Little Groot was laying starfish-style on Yondu’s vibrating stomach, emitting teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy snores.

“What is that noise? Someone drop a fork down the garbage disposal again?” Rocket squeezed between the two women to see what they were looking at. And he grinned evilly.

“I will not be a witness to whatever happens next,” Gamora said as she backed down the access ladder.



Yondu opened his eyes and blinked sleepily.. “I’se jus’ restin’ my eyes. Wasn’t sleepin’.”

“Uh huh.” Peter stared down at the blue man, taking in the glasses and mustache drawn on his face, the sparkly pink ribbon adorning his fin, and Groot duct-taped to his abdomen. “I can tell you were completely conscious all along.” He noted that Yondu’s boots were missing. His socks were mismatched, too, and a gnarly blue toenail poked through the end of one, but that was usual for the Centaurian.

“I am Groot!” Groot had woken up and was extremely unhappy with the situation. He started extruding twigs to tear at the tape.

Yondu stared down in puzzlement. “Whass goin’ on?”

Peter grabbed something from the floor, then held it up so Yondu could see. It was a photo of Rocket sticking his tail in Yondu’s mouth and making a rude gesture at the camera.

“I’m gonna kill’em, eat’em, and make ‘em into a hat.”

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know ya hate hats. I’ll make ‘em into a li’l rug for ya to nap on.”

Peter tapped his fingers on his chin thoughtfully. “Well, we can’t actually kill Rocket, because he’s useful and we kind of love the little a-hole, but I have an idea.”


“I made the bomb that saved the universe. I fixed the Milano after it was torn to bits. You’d think I’d be allowed to blow off steam with some harmless fun, but nooooooooooooooo.”

“Stop whining. Yondu was going to eat you. I think he meant it.”

Rocket sighed and crossed his arms. “Being eaten might be better than being glitter-bombed. Do you have any idea how long it’ll take for this to come out of my fur?”

Peter repressed a smirk. Rocket looked like a disco ball with legs. He’d be tracking sparkles all over the Milano, but it was worth it. “Hey, I got something that might cheer you up.” He reached into his pocket. “These are really fashionable on Terra.”fan“Really?”

“Totally. Turn around, let me put it on you. Okay, now let me see how it looks.”

Rocket struck a pose. “Look at me, I’m fashion forward!” The bell on his new rhinestone collar jingled.

“You are certainly something, Rocket.”


a/n: I suck, I suck, I suck. That’s all.

prompt: Bellarke + 15 - The new handyman is hot so I’m gonna keep breaking stuff

fix this broken heart of mine - part 2 [part 1]

A coffee cup rests on the table in front of her and she’s acutely aware of Bellamy’s boot pressed up against the side of her cute gold gladiator sandal.

“So, did you like the Dubstep?”

Bellamy’s eyes are twinkling over his coffee cup and she rolls her own. “Yeah, it was fine.”

“Just fine?” he scoffs. “I was going to admit that I actually quite liked Britney but now…”

Clarke giggles, a stupidly girlish sound that she immediately wishes she could take back. She’s twenty one years old, not thirteen nervous to talk to her first crush.

“Britney’s awesome,” she says, picking at her orange cranberry muffin. “And the Dubstep wasn’t so bad.”

Bellamy doesn’t respond, just winks and takes another sip from his latte.

“Tell me about yourself,” he says and she blanches. She’s not used to a forward man like Bellamy, someone that asks her for coffee or about her life with no prompting. It’s refreshing albeit a little scary.

“Well,” she blows out a breath. “I’m twenty one, recently single. I work at McMillan’s on Fourth as a waitress and sometimes bartender. No siblings, parents are still married. I think that’s about it.”

“That’s about it?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, why?”

Bellamy laughs and nudges her foot with his boot. “Because I asked about you, not your stats. All I know about you is that you listen to Britney Spears while you jog and have a knack for shit breaking down in your house.”

Clarke blushes, tries not to think of the few times she’s seen Bellamy over the past few weeks. First her ice maker, then the call about her dryer. But after that she accidentally snapped off her shower head (which he made fun of her for profusely), dropped a knife down her garbage disposal and somehow managed to lock Raven and Jaspers’ cat in her bathroom when she was pet sitting.

Yeah, needless to say she’s looked like a fucking idiot about 90% of the time she’s been around Bellamy Blake.

“You know,” he says with a smirk. “I was starting to think maybe you were breaking things just to get me to come over.”

She’s blushing, god damn it. She can feel the heat hitting her cheeks. “That’s insane,” she says. “What would make you think that?”

Bellamy shrugs. “Maybe the fact that I heard your friend tell you to do it.”

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anonymous asked:

Maybe Shawn asks Zoe to move in, or like you said before it would happen like "let's make it official"

“Okay can you tell me what’s up because you’re acting weird and it’s starting to freak me out,” I said, setting my knife and fork down.

Shawn sat up straighter in his chair. “I’m not acting weird,” he said softly.

“You are. You’ve barely touched your food and usually you’re a human garbage disposal, you’ve barely looked at me all night and when you do, you look more nervous than you do before you go on stage… you’re freaking me out. Are you trying to ask for space or break up with me?” I asked, my voice shaking.

His wide eyes met mine. “No! Of course not! Not even a little bit, Zoe. Would I really take you out to this nice restaurant if I was going to end things with you?”

I looked down at my insanely expensive entree. “I don’t know. Maybe you thought an $80 filet mignon would help soften the blow,” I said, my voice above a whisper.

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This is happened on skype today
  • *in the middle of the night*
  • Jekyll: *is about to go to bed*
  • Hyde: *whispers* Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal...... *on top of his lungs* DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
  • *next morning*
  • Rachel: Dr.Jekyll, Why is you hand covered in glass..... and why is the mirror broken
  • Jekyll: it's a long story....
  • credit to myself for typing and @doughnutdebauchery for the wonderful idea
On the topic of Garbage Disposal Hogan

When Hogan gets some random shit stuck in the disposal (like a fork), he pulls open the metal compartment on his stomach and reveals just a giant fucking metal crusher with spikes on it

And everybody stands in a hesitant half-circle around him and rock-paper-scissors to see who has to stick their hand in The Knife Zone.

anonymous asked:

oh my god I just found out what put the fork in the garbage disposal means oh god I've been saying that for years I live in a Christian neighboorhood I want to d ie

kjsdbfslka I shld feel bad but thats kinda funny