WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BROADCAST WITH BREAKING NEWS
It’s that time once again, folks! The human epidemic is upon us! That’s right, lock your doors! Board up your windows! Don’t click suspicious looking video links in e-mails! Don’t watch any odd VHS tapes! And whatever you do, don’t let them in! We head over to our Reporter in the field, Joe!
“…” Joe, buddy, why aren’t you answering? “Hi diddly ho, neighbor! Care for some coffee? Food that isn’t magic? A knife in the back? How about some sugar?” Oh no…they’ve gotten Joe! Take this as a warning, everyone! Don’t become infected by a human!
*Cut to static*