the forces is strong with this one

there’s no denying that characters like riza and lan fan have some awesome, badass moments. what’s incredibly frustrating is that these moments tend to only occur when the narrative stakes are very low, and when they aren’t, these women – however strong they are otherwise – are forced into the victim role, helpless and having to be saved by their respective male companions. riza and lan fan each tend to affect the plot in significant ways by being brutalized and victimized rather than being independent, clever, or otherwise “awesome” or “badass,” and this is why i’m not the only one to suggest that their strength feels falsified. (see zudilio’s amazing post here for more info, because it’s a similar topic and it’s just an amazing post. 10/10.)

lan fan, for instance. her first appearance tries to establish her as a formidable fighter, able to go toe-to-toe with ed despite no alchemical ability and holding her own pretty well until he exploits her achilles’ heel: her defensiveness of ling. however, her next big scene subverts this image of lan fan the skilled fighter in a brutal fashion – she doesn’t get in a single hit versus wrath before he badly wounds her, leaving her to be carried around by ling (who, despite having just as much inexperience fighting homunculi and not being a trained guard, is able to fight wrath and gluttony together with the injured lan fan over his shoulder) until she severs her own arm so that ling can escape.

lan fan’s horrific maiming is what motivates ling to accept greed’s philosopher’s stone, stating that she lost the arm to get him this far and that he couldn’t face her if he refused. to be clear: this horrible injury is how lan fan advances the plot, by being is the catalyst for the birth of the second greed, which pushes the plot forward, not the fighting skills the fandom wants her to be known for.

riza gets it even worse in that her victimization advances the plot several times, not just once. first, her backstory, which involves her being tattooed without her consent so that roy can learn flame alchemy from her father. then, she’s made a hostage to keep roy in line, forcing roy to decide if he wants to continue fighting from the inside or go full-on rebel. and, of course, who could forget how her throat is cut in an attempt by the gold-toothed doctor to motivate roy to open the gate and become the fifth sacrifice?

riza’s and lan fan’s feats of badassery feel lackluster in comparison, because those moments, however awesome, don’t impact the plot to the same degree – they’re superfluous, icing on the cake. you could easily exclude them and have a largely unchanged story, while their victimization, on the other hand, is necessary to move the story along. essentially, these women are only strong when it doesn’t matter; when the narrative stakes are high, they’re forced into positions of emotional or physical vulnerability, and men swoop in to save the day. (think roy bursting in to kill lust while riza’s sobbing and thinking he’s dead, or, again, ling fighting off two homunculi with lan fan over his shoulder despite having no reason to possess those kinds of fighting skills – i mean, he’s supposed to be this pampered prince, how is he a better fighter than his bodyguard lan fan?)

when their strength impacts the plot so little – just like winry’s automail career that supposedly keeps her from being a wife-in-waiting, which, narratively, she is – it ends up feeling so forced, you might even call it fake.

to be clear, this isn’t me hating on the characters themselves. i absolutely adore lan fan with all my heart, and i like riza and winry enough. my affection for these characters is what drives me to complain and rant about how the narrative treats them with such injustice. i love them enough to say emphatically that they deserve better.

Happy International Women’s Day, all my lovely doves!
It seems like an appropriate day to finally show you my submission piece for Celebration Orlando (which didn’t get chosen - but I’m gonna keep trying). I think a big part of what’s kept me enthralled with Star Wars over the course of my life is how many amazing women are depicted in this universe, and it’s never made to be a big deal. Women are just as capable, inspiring, exciting as the male characters, and that’s just the way it is. Super love to all my Star Wars ladies (and all the EU ladies who I didn’t get to include here, but wanted to).

 I may do a super-limited, teeny-tiny Etsy/convention-exclusive print run on this - perhaps without the text- just because I still love it, and I want it as a physical object.

A woman’s place is in the resistance. Keep blowing shit up, y’all. 

REYLO MEETS STAR WARS COUPLES

I know others may have already done this, but I’m just going to compare REYLO to other Star Wars couples.

1. ANAKIN & PADME

Originally posted by snowjenta

A Jedi and a Senator, fall in love for all the selfish reasons. Looks, lust and desire.

It showed us why Jedi were forbidden to fall in love in the first place, and that giving into fear of losing those they love could turn them to the dark side. 

Despite their tragic end, it blessed the Star Wars galaxy with a son and a daughter who would bring an end to the Empire…

Which brings me to another couple we all know.


2. LEIA ORGANA & HAN SOLO

Originally posted by sensualquotes

Star Wars began with them which makes their love iconic. Han Solo was openly honest of his feelings toward the princess, attracted to her beauty and stubbornness.

Leia resisted but knew in her heart that she loved the “scoundrel” for his bravery, and honour. They both rescued each other, making their relationship a balanced one…

Then The Force Awakens showed up and killed Han Solo. Damn you Star Wars! Why?!!



3. ASAJJ VENTRESS & QUINLAN VOS

Known only in The Clone Wars, this book introduced a forbidden love story between two Force users. A ex-Sith and a Jedi, both fall in love when they work together to kill a common enemy.

Besides Leia and Han this couple was my favourite because one sacrifices their own life to save the other, choosing love over revenge. It made me cry. So beautiful.


4. CIENA REE AND THANE KYRELL


Two childhood friends end up on two opposing sides. Their bond is strong because they started off as friends first, and then lovers in a galaxy torn apart.

I didn’t read the book, so I can’t say if I like this one or not.

Which leads me to another couple that sadly isn’t canon…


5. BASTILA & REVAN

They were enemies during the Old Republic, she a Jedi and he a Sith Lord. They begin to fall in love after she saves him, forging a bond between them neither can resist…which later results in a love child.

Here’s another couple that’s not canon, which is one of my faves.


6. STARKILLER & JUNO

Originally posted by traitorousheroes

He was the secret apprentice of Darth Vader and she was an Imperial Pilot. They were on the same side, both servants of the Empire but later joined the rebels. This had to be the most original and yet unique Star Wars couple to exist in a game.

You not only get to see it, but experience as Starkiller himself. The anti-hero who used the Dark Side to serve the Light, and give the rebels a fighting chance, redeeming his previous actions as Vader’s apprentice…And even in death his love for Juno still remains within his clone, proving again how powerful love can be.

And now we have REYLO…


7. REY & KYLO REN

Originally posted by kuresoto

Many fans have often compared them to Bastila and Revan, in both appearances, Force ability and circumstance.

They are on opposing sides, brought together by the will of the Force itself. But the question remains, will they be enemies or the main romantic couple of this new sequel trilogy?

Naturally there would shippers and non-shippers for this unlikely pair. And I went from a non-shipper to a fan of this concept because of the other couples.

It has all the ingredients to formulate the pairing.

  • THE TRAGEDY: The Death of Han Solo
  • THE OPPOSITION: The Light and the Dark
  • THE CONNECTION: The Force
  • THE THREAT: The Resistance and The First Order
  • THE CATALYST: A Common Interest

If REYLO does indeed happen, it shouldn’t be so surprising considering the other Star Wars couples listed above…

Dead Fandoms, Part 3

Read Part One of Dead Fandoms here. 

Read Part Two of Dead Fandoms here. 

Before we continue, I want to add the usual caveat that I actually don’t want to be right about these fandoms being dead. I like enthusiasm and energy and it’s a shame to see it vanish.


Mists of Avalon

Remember that period of time of about 15 years, where absolutely everybody read this book and was obsessed with it? It could not have been bigger, and the fandom was Anne Rice huge, overlapping for several years with USENET and the early World Wide Web…but it’s since petered out. 

Mists of Avalon’s popularity may be due to the most excellent case of hitting a demographic sweet spot ever. The book was a feminist retelling of the Arthurian Mythos where Morgan Le Fay is the main character, a pagan from matriarchal goddess religions who is fighting against encroaching Christianity and patriarchal forms of society coming in with it. Also, it made Lancelot bisexual and his conflict is how torn he is about his attraction to both Arthur and Guinevere.

Remember, this novel came out in 1983 – talk about being ahead of your time! If it came out today, the reaction from a certain corner would be something like “it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that tumblr is at it again.”

Man, demographically speaking, that’s called “nailing it.” It used to be one of the favorite books of the kind of person who’s bookshelf is dominated by fantasy novels about outspoken, fiery-tongued redheaded women, who dream of someday moving to Scotland, who love Enya music and Kate Bush, who sell homemade needlepoint stuff on etsy, who consider their religious beliefs neo-pagan or wicca, and who have like 15 cats, three of which are named Isis, Hypatia, and Morrigan.

This type of person is still with us, so why did this novel fade in popularity? There’s actually a single hideous reason: after her death around 2001, facts came out that Marion Zimmer Bradley abused her daughters sexually. Even when she was alive, she was known for defending and enabling a known child abuser, her husband, Walter Breen. To say people see your work differently after something like this is an understatement – especially if your identity is built around being a progressive and feminist author.


Robotech

I try to break up my sections on dead fandoms into three parts: first, I explain the property, then explain why it found a devoted audience, and finally, I explain why that fan devotion and community went away. Well, in the case of Robotech, I can do all three with a single sentence: it was the first boy pilot/giant robot Japanimation series that shot for an older, teenage audience to be widely released in the West. Robotech found an audience when it was the only true anime to be widely available, and lost it when became just another import anime show. In the days of Crunchyroll, it’s really hard to explain what made Robotech so special, because it means describing a different world.

Try to imagine what it was like in 1986 for Japanime fans: there were barely any video imports, and if you wanted a series, you usually had to trade tapes at your local basement club (they were so precious they couldn’t even be sold, only traded). If you were lucky, you were given a script to translate what you were watching. Robotech though, was on every day, usually after school. You want an action figure? Well, you could buy a Robotech Valkyrie or a Minmei figure at your local corner FAO Schwartz. 

However, the very strategy that led to it getting syndicated is the very reason it was later vilified by the purists who emerged when anime became a widespread cultural force: strictly speaking, there actually is no show called “Robotech.” Since Japanese shows tend to be short run, say, 50-60 episodes, it fell well under the 80-100 episode mark needed for syndication in the US. The producer of Harmony Gold, Carl Macek, had a solution: he’d cut three unrelated but similar looking series together into one, called “Robotech.” The shows looked very similar, had similar love triangles, used similar tropes, and even had little references to each other, so the fit was natural. It led to Robotech becoming a weekday afternoon staple with a strong fandom who called themselves “Protoculture Addicts.” There were conventions entirely devoted to Robotech. The supposed shower scene where Minmei was bare-breasted was the barely whispered stuff of pervert legend in pre-internet days. And the tie in novels, written with the entirely western/Harmony Gold conception of the series and which continued the story, were actually surprisingly readable.

The final nail in the coffin of Robotech fandom was the rise of Sailor Moon, Toonami, Dragonball, and yes, Pokemon (like MC Hammer’s role in popularizing hip hop, Pokemon is often written out of its role in creating an audience for the next wave of cartoon imports out of insecurity). Anime popularity in the West can be defined as not a continuing unbroken chain like scifi book fandom is, but as an unrelated series of waves, like multiple ancient ruins buried on top of each other (Robotech was the vanguard of the third wave, as Anime historians reckon); Robotech’s wave was subsumed by the next, which had different priorities and different “core texts.” Pikachu did what the Zentraedi and Invid couldn’t do: they destroyed the SDF-1.


Legion of Super-Heroes

Legion of Superheroes was comic set in the distant future that combined superheroes with space opera, with a visual aesthetic that can best be described as “Star Trek: the Motion Picture, if it was set in a disco.” 

I’ve heard wrestling described as “a soap opera for men.” If that’s the case, then Legion of Super-Heroes was a soap opera for nerds. The book is about attractive 20-somethings who seem to hook up all the time. As a result, it had a large female fanbase, which, I cannot stress enough, is incredibly unusual for this era in comics history. And if you have female fans, you get a lot of shipping and slashfic, and lots of speculation over which of the boy characters in the series is gay. The fanon answer is Element Lad, because he wore magenta-pink and never had a girlfriend. (Can’t argue with bulletproof logic like that.) In other words, it was a 1970s-80s fandom that felt much more “modern” than the more right-brained, bloodless, often anal scifi fandoms that existed around the same time, where letters pages were just nitpicking science errors by model train and elevator enthusiasts.

Legion Headquarters seemed to be a rabbit fuck den built around a supercomputer and Danger Room. Cosmic Boy dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. There’s one member, Duo Damsel, who can turn into two people, a power that, in the words of Legion writer Jim Shooter, was “useful for weird sex…and not much else.”

LSH was popular because the fans were insanely horny. This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the thirstiest fandom of all time.  You might think I’m overselling this, but I really think that’s an under-analyzed part of how some kinds of fiction build a devoted fanbase.  

For example, a big reason for the success of Mass Effect is that everyone has a favorite girl or boy, and you have the option to romance them. Likewise, everyone who was a fan of Legion remembers having a crush. Sardonic Ultra Boy for some reason was a favorite among gay male nerds (aka the Robert Conrad Effect). Tall, blonde, amazonian telepath Saturn Girl, maybe the first female team leader in comics history, is for the guys with backbone who prefer Veronica over Betty. Shrinking Violet was a cute Audrey Hepburn type. And don’t forget Shadow Lass, who was a blue skinned alien babe with pointed ears and is heavily implied to have an accent (she was Aayla Secura before Aayla Secura was Aayla Secura). Light Lass was commonly believed to be “coded lesbian” because of a short haircut and her relationships with men didn’t work out. The point is, it’s one thing to read about the adventures of a superteam, and it implies a totally different level of mental and emotional involvement to read the adventures of your imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend.  

Now, I should point out that of all the fandoms I’ve examined here, LSH was maybe the smallest. Legion was never a top seller, but it was a favorite of the most devoted of fans who kept it alive all through the seventies and eighties with an energy and intensity disproportionate to their actual numbers. My gosh, were LSH fans devoted! Interlac and Legion Outpost were two Legion fanzines that are some of the most famous fanzines in comics history.

If nerd culture fandoms were drugs, Star Wars would be alcohol, Doctor Who would be weed, but Legion of Super-Heroes would be injecting heroin directly into your eyeballs. Maybe it is because the Legionnaires were nerdy, too: they played Dungeons and Dragons in their off time (an escape, no doubt, from their humdrum, mundane lives as galaxy-rescuing superheroes). There were sometimes call outs to Monty Python. Basically, the whole thing had a feel like the dorkily earnest skits or filk-singing at a con. Legion felt like it’s own fan series, guest starring Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day.

It helped that the boundary between fandom and professional was incredibly porous. For instance, pro-artist Dave Cockrum did covers for Legion fanzines. Former Legion APA members Todd and Mary Biernbaum got a chance to actually write Legion, where, with the gusto of former slashfic writers given the keys to canon, their major contribution was a subplot that explicitly made Element Lad gay. Mike Grell, a professional artist who got paid to work on the series, did vaguely porno-ish fan art. Again, it’s hard to tell where the pros started and the fandom ended; the inmates were running the asylum.

Mostly, Legion earned this devotion because it could reward it in a way no other comic could. Because Legion was not a wide market comic but was bought by a core audience, after a point, there were no self-contained one-and-done Legion stories. In fact, there weren’t even really arcs as we know it, which is why Legion always has problems getting reprinted in trade form. Legion was plotted like a daytime soap opera: there were always five different stories going on in every issue, and a comic involved cutting between them. Sure, like daytime soap operas, there’s never a beginning, just endless middles, so it was totally impossible for a newbie to jump on board…but soap operas know what they are doing: long term storytelling rewards a long term reader.

This brings me to today, where Legion is no longer being published by DC. There is no discussion about a movie or TV revival. This is amazing. Comics are a world where the tiniest nerd groups get pandered to: Micronauts, Weirdworld, Seeker 3000, and Rom have had revival series, for pete’s sake. It’s incredible there’s no discussion of a film or TV treatment, either; friggin Cyborg from New Teen Titans is getting a solo movie. 

Why did Legion stop being such a big deal? Where did the fandom that supported it dissolve to? One word: X-Men. Legion was incredibly ahead of its time. In the 60s and 70s, there were barely any “fan” comics, since superhero comics were like animation is today: mostly aimed at kids, with a minority of discerning adult/teen fans, and it was success among kids, not fans, that led to something being a top seller (hence, “fan favorites” in the 1970s, as surprising as it is to us today, often did not get a lot of work, like Don MacGregor or Barry Smith). But as newsstands started to push comics out, the fan audience started to get bigger and more important…everyone else started to catch up to the things that made Legion unique: most comics started to have attractive people who paired up into couples and/or love triangles, and featured extremely byzantine long term storytelling. If Legion of Super-Heroes is going to be remembered for anything, it’s for being the smaller scale “John the Baptist” to the phenomenon of X-Men, the ultimate “fan” comic.

The other thing that killed Legion, apart from Marvel’s Merry Mutants, that is, was the r-word: reboots. A reboot only works for some properties, but not others. You reboot something when you want to find something for a mass audience to respond to, like with Zorro, Batman, or Godzilla.

Legion, though, was not a comic for everybody, it was a fanboy/girl comic beloved by a niche who read it for continuing stories and minutiae (and to jack off, and in some cases, jill off). Rebooting a comic like that is a bad idea. You do not reboot something where the main way you engage with the property, the greatest strength, is the accumulated lore and history. Rebooting a property like that means losing the reason people like it, and unless it’s something with a wide audience, you only lose fans and won’t get anything in return for it. So for something like Legion (small fandom obsessed with long form plots and details, but unlike Trek, no name recognition) a reboot is the ultimate Achilles heel that shatters everything, a self-destruct button they kept hitting over and over and over until there was nothing at all left.


E. E. Smith’s Lensman Novels

The Lensman series is like Gil Evans’s jazz: it’s your grandparents’ favorite thing that you’ve never heard of. 

I mean, have you ever wondered exactly what scifi fandom talked about before the rise of the major core texts and cultural objects (Star Trek, Asimov, etc)? Well, it was this. Lensmen was the subject of fanfiction mailed in manilla envelopes during the 30s, 40s, and 50s (some of which are still around). If you’re from Boston, you might recognize that the two biggest and oldest scifi cons there going back to the 1940s, Boskone (Boscon, get it?) and Arisia, are references to the Lensman series. This series not only created space opera as we know it, but contributed two of the biggest visuals in scifi, the interstellar police drawn from different alien species, and space marines in power armor.

My favorite sign of how big this series was and how fans responded to it, was a great wedding held at Worldcon that duplicated Kimball Kinnison and Clarissa’s wedding on Klovia. This is adorable:

The basic story is pure good vs. evil: galactic civilization faces a crime and piracy wave of unprecedented proportions from technologically advanced pirates (the memory of Prohibition, where criminals had superior firearms and faster cars than the cops, was strong by the mid-1930s). A young officer, Kimball Kinnison (who speaks in a Stan Lee esque style of dialogue known as “mid-century American wiseass”), graduates the academy and is granted a Lens, an object from an ancient mystery civilization, who’s true purpose is unknown.

Lensman Kinnison discovers that the “crime wave” is actually a hostile invasion and assault by a totally alien culture that is based on hierarchy, intolerant of failure, and at the highest level, is ruled by horrifying nightmare things that breathe freezing poison gases. Along the way, he picks up allies, like van Buskirk, a variant human space marine from a heavy gravity planet who can do a standing jump of 20 feet in full space armor, Worsel, a telepathic dragon warrior scientist with the technical improvisation skills of MacGyver (who reads like the most sadistically minmaxed munchkinized RPG character of all time), and Nandreck, a psychologist from a Pluto-like planet of selfish cowards.

The scale of the conflict starts small, just skirmishes with pirates, but explodes to near apocalyptic dimensions. This series has space battles with millions of starships emerging from hyperspacial tubes to attack the ultragood Arisians, homeworld of the first intelligent race in the cosmos. By the end of the fourth book, there are mind battles where the reflected and parried mental beams leave hundreds of innocent bystanders dead. In the meantime we get evil Black Lensmen, the Hell Hole in Space, and superweapons like the Negasphere and the Sunbeam, where an entire solar system was turned into a vacuum tube.

It’s not hard to understand why Lensmen faded in importance. While the alien Lensmen had lively psychologies, Lensman Kimball Kinnison was not an interesting person, and that’s a problem when scifi starts to become more about characterization. The Lensman books, with their love of police and their sexism (it is an explicit plot point that the Lens is incompatible with female minds – in canon there are no female Lensmen) led to it being judged harshly by the New Wave writers of the 1960s, who viewed it all as borderline fascist military-scifi establishment hokum, and the reputation of the series never recovered from the spirit of that decade.


Prisoner of Zenda

Prisoner of Zenda is a novel about a roguish con-man who visits a postage-stamp, charmingly picturesque Central European kingdom with storybook castles, where he finds he looks just like the local king and is forced to pose as him in palace intrigues. It’s a swashbuckling story about mistaken identity, swordfighting, and intrigue, one part swashbuckler and one part dark political thriller.

The popularity of this book predates organized fandom as we know it, so I wonder if “fandom” is even the right word to use. All the same, it inspired fanatical dedication from readers. There was such a popular hunger for it that an entire library could be filled with nothing but rip-offs of Prisoner of Zenda. If you have a favorite writer who was active between 1900-1950, I guarantee he probably wrote at least one Prisoner of Zenda rip-off (which is nearly always the least-read book in his oeuvre). The only novel in the 20th Century that inspired more imitators was Sherlock Holmes. Robert Heinlein and Edmond “Planet Smasher” Hamilton wrote scifi updates of Prisoner of Zenda. Doctor Who lifted the plot wholesale for the Tom Baker era episode, “Androids of Tara,” Futurama did this exact plot too, and even Marvel Comics has its own copy of Ruritania, Doctor Doom’s Kingdom of Latveria. Even as late as the 1980s, every kids’ cartoon did a “Prisoner of Zenda” episode, one of the stock plots alongside “everyone gets hit by a shrink ray” and the Christmas Carol episode.

Prisoner of Zenda imitators were so numerous, that they even have their own Library of Congress sub-heading, of “Ruritanian Romance.” 

One major reason that Prisoner of Zenda fandom died off is that, between World War I and World War II, there was a brutal lack of sympathy for anything that seemed slightly German, and it seems the incredibly Central European Prisoner of Zenda was a casualty of this. Far and away, the largest immigrant group in the United States through the entire 19th Century were Germans, who were more numerous than Irish or Italians. There were entire cities in the Midwest that were two-thirds German-born or German-descent, who met in Biergartens and German community centers that now no longer exist.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a lot about how the German-American world he grew up in vanished because of the prejudice of the World Wars, and that disappearance was so extensive that it was retroactive, like someone did a DC comic-style continuity reboot where it all never happened: Germans, despite being the largest immigrant group in US history, are left out of the immigrant story. The “Little Bohemias” and “Little Berlins” that were once everywhere no longer exist. There is no holiday dedicated to people of German ancestry in the US, the way the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day or Italians have Columbus Day (there is Von Steuben’s Day, dedicated to a general who fought with George Washington, but it’s a strictly Midwest thing most people outside the region have never heard of, like Sweetest Day). If you’re reading this and you’re an academic, and you’re not sure what to do your dissertation on, try writing about the German-American immigrant world of the 19th and 20th Centuries, because it’s a criminally under-researched topic.


A. Merritt

Pop quiz: who was the most popular and influential fantasy author during the 1930s and 40s? 

If you answered Tolkien or Robert E. Howard, you’re wrong - it was actually Abraham Merritt. He was the most popular writer of his age of the kind of fiction he did, and he’s since been mostly forgotten. Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has said that A. Merritt was his favorite fantasy and horror novelist.

Why did A. Merritt and his fandom go away, when at one point, he was THE fantasy author? Well, obviously one big answer was the 1960s counterculture, which brought different writers like Tolkien and Lovecraft to the forefront (by modern standards Lovecraft isn’t a fantasy author, but he was produced by the same early century genre-fluid effluvium that produced Merritt and the rest). The other answer is that A. Merritt was so totally a product of the weird occult speculation of his age that it’s hard to even imagine him clicking with audiences in other eras. His work is based on fringe weirdness that appealed to early 20th Century spiritualism and made sense at the time: reincarnation, racial memory, an obsession with lost race stories and the stone age, and weirdness like the 1920s belief that the Polar Arctic is the ancestral home of the Caucasian race. In other words, it’s impossible to explain Merritt without a ton of sentences that start with “well, people in the 1920s thought that…” That’s not a good sign when it comes to his universality. 


That’s it for now. Do you have any suggestions on a dead fandom, or do you keep one of these “dead” fandoms alive in your heart?

Tips for faceslapping women

- Find her tolerance limit: First hit her softly and then gradually increase the force of each slap if you see she can take it.
- Always make her close her mouth before the slap to avoid her teeth cutting inside her mouth during the slap.
- Always hit her in the jaw. Never close to the ear (audition loss hazard), nose (bleeding nose harzard) or eyes. Any hit above the cheekbone (around the eye) will give her a black eye.
- If you wanna slap her hard in one cheek, then is useful to support her other cheek with your other hand. This is done to avoid a strong “whiplash effect” on her head.
-Avoid slapping her as a punishment/discipline. She has a fatty butt and some sensitive thighs that can be used for that purpose. Those are much safer to hit than her face. Use them.
- Never slap her with anger.

A good slap puts a naughty girl immediately in her place. It makes her shut up immediately so it’s really effective against a back-talking girl. Normally it brings instant tears of submission. But it can be a severe tool, so it must be used with care.

Remember: Women are delicate beings and they are easy to break. Better play with your toys without breaking them… so you can keep on playing!

Cheers

;-)

Javier

KYLO REN WANTS REY TO MARRY HIM
  • Kylo Ren: "I could show you the ways of the Force." He offers, while Intensely staring into her eyes. "Marry me..."
  • Rey: "The Force? Marry you?" She considers her options. Closes her eyes.
  • Kylo Ren hopes she'll say yes...
  • She opens her eyes.
  • Rey: "I wanted Han Solo to walk me down the aisle!"
  • Kylo Ren: "Shit."
  • TO BE CONTINUED...
the types as | space phenomena

ISTP // cosmic ray
high-energy radiation, mainly originating from outside the solar system. upon impact with the earth’s atmosphere, they can produce showers of secondary particles that sometimes reach the surface.

ESTP // solar flare
a sudden flash of brightness observed near the sun’s surface. the flare ejects clouds of electrons, ions, and atoms through the corona of the sun into space.

ISTJ // solar eclipse
an eclipse of the sun happens when the new moon moves between the sun and earth, blocking out the sun’s rays and casting a shadow on parts of earth.

ESTJ // the sun
the star at the centre of our solar system. it is a nearly perfect sphere of hot plasma, and forms the most important source of energy for life on earth.

INFP // supermoon
a full moon that coincides with the closest distance that the moon reaches to earth in its elliptic orbit, resulting in a larger-than-usual size of the lunar disk.

ENFP // galaxy
a system of millions or billions of stars, together with gas and dust, held together by gravitational attraction.

INFJ // lunar eclipse
an eclipse in which the moon appears darkened as it passes into the earth’s shadow. this can occur only when the sun, earth, and moon are aligned with the earth in the middle.

ENFJ // constellation
a group of stars forming a recognisable pattern that is traditionally named after its apparent form or identified with a mythological figure.

ISFJ // saturn’s rings
the rings of saturn are the most extensive planetary ring system of any planet in the solar system. although reflection from the rings increases saturn’s brightness, they are not visible from earth with unaided vision.

ESFJ // aurora
an aurora is an incredible light show caused by collisions between electrically charged particles released from the sun that enter the earth’s atmosphere and collide with gases such as oxygen and nitrogen.

ISFP // winter solstice
an astronomical phenomenon marking the day with the shortest period of daylight and the longest night of the year, when the sun’s daily maximum elevation in the sky is at its lowest.

ESFP // meteor shower
a number of meteors that appear to radiate from one point in the sky at a particular date each year, due to the earth regularly passing through them at that position in its orbit.

INTP // nebula
a cloud of gas and dust in outer space, visible in the night sky either as an indistinct bright patch or as a dark silhouette against other luminous matter. 

ENTP // galactic wind
composed of photons ejected from large stars, it is a powerful cosmic force that can push interstellar dust clouds into intergalactic space. 

INTJ // black hole
a black hole is a place in space where gravity pulls so much that even light can not get out. the gravity is so strong because matter has been squeezed into a tiny space. this can happen when a star is dying.

ENTJ // a supernova
an astronomical event that occurs during the last stages of a massive star’s life, destruction is marked by one final titanic explosion. this causes the sudden appearance of a “new” bright star.

When one individual inflicts bodily injury upon another such that death results, we call the deed manslaughter; when the assailant knew in advance that the injury would be fatal, we call his deed murder. But when society places hundreds of proletarians in such a position that they inevitably meet a too early and an unnatural death, one which is quite as much a death by violence as that by the sword or bullet; when it deprives thousands of the necessaries of life, places them under conditions in which they cannot live – forces them, through the strong arm of the law, to remain in such conditions until that death ensues which is the inevitable consequence – knows that these thousands of victims must perish, and yet permits these conditions to remain, its deed is murder just as surely as the deed of the single individual; disguised, malicious murder, murder against which none can defend himself, which does not seem what it is, because no man sees the murderer, because the death of the victim seems a natural one, since the offence is more one of omission than of commission. But murder it remains.
—  Engels - Condition of the Working Class in England 1845
#NoFearFriday

7 Reasons Why You Need To Try Yoga

In the spirit of No Fear Friday, let’s talk about trying something new - yoga! Here are some of the benefits practicing yogis experience both on and off their mats:

1. Yoga brain. Yoga is a great way to destress, moving into the body in this way leads to what some refer to as “yoga brain” which is an intense feeling of calm & relaxation that follows us for hours after our session.

2. Increased flexibility. Being flexible leads to better posture and the ability to perform better athletically, it can also make sex more enjoyable. Flexibility is important for our muscles because it allows nutrients to enter the tissues and let toxins out with ease.

3. Increased muscle strength and tone. Fad diets and supplements are always raving on about how they can help us to lose weight, get strong and tone up; well here’s something that won’t fail and doesn’t have any dangerous side effects - practicing yoga regularly.

4. Improved vitality. Yoga is all about the breath and moving into the body - the breath is the life force energy and when we concentrate on conscious breathing we can feel the energy inside us rise up. A regular yoga practice can reverse conditions like chronic fatigue - if accompanied by good nutrition.

5. Balanced metabolism. The movement of the body flowing from one pose to another helps to boost our metabolism which burns calories. An essential component of maintaining a healthy lifestyle is burning more calories than we put into our bodies.

6. Heart health. Yoga is considered moderate exercise and just 30 minutes of yoga a day can protect our hearts from diseases like heart disease and COPD. 

7. Protection from injury. Moving into the body and stretching regularly prevents injuries because we are not sitting stagnant which causes joints and muscles to become stiff and tight - which makes them more prone to injury.

Yoga is not for the flexible, it’s for the willing.

Peace & positive vibes.

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Attention all Rey Kenobi Fans, this is the video you’ve been looking for!

I’m gonna go on a quick rant on feminism/femininity and Disney here.

Originally posted by disneylandwheredreamscometrue

It just riles me up when people seem to get the idea that femininity means a lack of feminism. When people take a look at the girl in the pants and the girl in the ballgown and says the one in pants is more feminist and empowering than the one in the dress. The whole point of one of the many aspects of feminism is that as women we have the right to choose to be and wear whatever we want. A woman in a dress is just as feminist as a woman in a burqa, and they’re both just as feminist as a woman in a suit or a woman in a bikini. And beyond clothing, a woman who’s married and in love is just as feminist as a woman who’s single. Here’s where Disney comes in, no one princess is a better more feminist role model than another. It’s important to have more than one type of role model yes, but just because one girl likes to fight and another girl likes to sew, it doesn’t mean that one is a better role model. All the princesses and other Disney ladies have good values to teach us and our kids in different ways and I’m gonna go through them with you.

Originally posted by badxbaby

Snow White:

For one thing this girl is 14. She is a child and her outlook on the world and her dreams in life shouldn’t be measured up to an adult’s. She’s kind, caring, and yes, she does dream of true love’s kiss. But she’s 14. When I was 14 I was dreaming of the same damn thing. But what we can learn from her is that when you care for everyone, even strangers, you’ll see that kindness returned. When she’s lost in the woods and scared for her life, she still finds the strength to be kind to the animals. In return they show her to the Dwarves’ cottage. She’s sweet and decides to clean up the place and take care of the dwarves out of the kindness of her heart and they return the kindness by giving her a home when she had none. At the end she’s rewarded with the true love’s kiss she wanted. We can even learn from the Evil Queen that vanity is a terrible thing. 

Originally posted by snowwhitecinderellaaurora-blog

Aurora:

The main thing to remember about Aurora is that for one thing, she met Phillip when she was a baby. The other thing is that while the good fairies did love her and take care of her, she grew up isolated and alone. She’s always had these dreams of meeting someone (anyone) else to break that isolation. But in that isolation she’s still strong, kind, and trusting. She loves her adoptive aunts, and for a side character(might make a post about that later) I would still count her as a good role model because of that kindness. 

Originally posted by goldensilverdisney

Cinderella:

Her, I’m definitely going to expand on in another post. But, she’s one of my favorite princess. Ironically, not one of my favorite movies, but she’s an amazing character and I love her. She’s a survivor of child abuse. That’s the very first thing that you need to understand about her. She doesn’t stay happy and content with a grin and bare it attitude, she got mad. She was snarky, and she only found happiness in the little free time she had and in her pets/friends. All she wanted that night was to go to the ball. All she wanted was one night to have fun and get out of the house. She wanted one night where she wouldn’t be berated and yelled at and ordered around. And when she met the prince, she didn’t even know who he was. She didn’t even mind that she would probably never see him again. And at the end she more or less saved herself. She didn’t wait around and sing a song from her tower to get rescued, she asked her friends to get the key and help her out. She was smart enough to pull out the other slipper. There’s nothing wrong with getting help from those around you and there’s no shame in asking for it. There’s nothing un-feminist about getting help, especially when you’re an abuse survivor. And that’s what Cinderella is about. Her fairy godmother coming to help her. Women helping women. 

Originally posted by disneymoviesanywhere

Ariel:

The one big thing that made the Disney renaissance so great is they decided to follow the rules of Broadway musicals. One of the trademarks of this is the “I want” song. That’s the motivation for the main character and it’s the driving force for the plot. 

Ariel wants to live in the human world. That’s her dream. She desperately wants to be a human. Eric was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Ariel is strong willed and curious. She’s the undersea equivalent of an anthropologist. She’s 16, so of course she’s going to make stupid mistakes, but she gets to live out her dream in the end and become a human. The main point and what makes her a wonderful feminist role model is that she uses that drive and curiosity to pursue her passion. 

Originally posted by mkgaud

Belle:

I’m not sure I have to go into too much detail about her although I will mention, she is not a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. And to be honest how would being an abuse victim make her any less feminist? Anyway, of course she’s smart and loves reading. She loves adventure books and that’s what her “I want” song is about. She wants adventure and she wants someone who understands her and doesn’t think she’s weird for her interest. She’s a good role model not only for her love of reading but also of course for her kindness and seeing the good in people despite their appearance. 

Originally posted by moviewhorexo

Jasmine:

She. Is. Not. A. Prize. To. Be. Won. Moving on,

Kidding. But anyway she’s great because what she values is freedom and love. I feel like a lot of people forget is the line, “when I marry, I want it to be for love”. She wants to make her own choices in all aspects of her life and she decides to leave her life of privilege to pursue that freedom. You can hear and see it sprinkled in all around the movie (and the stage show). She sees herself as a bird in a cage and she’s happiest when she’s free and litteraly flying. And at the end she chooses Aladin. It’s all about her choice. 

Pocahontas:

Originally posted by anightmarefantasmic

So unintentional racism, stereotypes, white savior trope, erasing history, and pairing her with the horrible monster aside for a moment…

Let’s talk about 18 year old Disney Pocahontas as her own character. The main thing that comes to mind when I think of her is strength and bravery. She knows herself and she knows what she loves, and she’ll do anything to protect it. She also cares about the earth and environment. All of those are wonderful traits to have as a role model. 

Originally posted by magical-rasputin

Mulan:

Again, I don’t think I have to go into much detail about why she’s a great feminist role model. She’s usually who everyone thinks of when it comes to great feminist characters.

But what I will say is one thing not a lot of people mention in her great feminist role model-ness is that she doesn’t mind being feminine. She knows the ”perfect porcelain doll” isn’t her, but she doesn’t mind dressing up when she can make it her own. Another thing that I’m surprised get’s as ignored as it does especially since it’s scattered through the whole movie including her very first scene, she’s smart. She’s not a fighter, she’s a strategist. She makes her chores easier for herself. She wins the game of Go on her way to meet the match maker. She figures out how she can protect her dad. She uses the weights to her advantage. She does trigonometry in her head on the fly. She comes up with the distraction and using the fireworks. And the epitome of it all, she uses the symbol of femininity in the movie, her fan, to outsmart Shan Yu and take his sword. 

Originally posted by definite-disnerd

Tiana:

Can you believe I’ve heard people say Tiana isn’t feminist enough? Most people know how hardworking and practical she is, but she also learns a very important lesson that you’ll never be truly happy if you don’t let loose and have fun in reasonable amounts. She’s an amazing role model just as wonderful as everyone else in the line up and her morale is one of my favorites to try and live by. “Fairytales can come true, but you’ve gotta make them happen. It all depends on you.”


Rapunzel, Merida, Anna, Elsa, and Moana:

Honestly I feel like I don’t have to do much defending for these four. Everyone on this site has already pointed out what great feminist role models they are and many people regard them plus Tiana and Mulan as the “best” most feminist princesses. I love them all too, and of course they’re all great feminist role models, I just don’t think there’s much I could add. 

Anyway, I think a /lot/ of other Disney ladies are also wonderful feminist role models but this was supposed to be just the princess lineup. and I might make separate posts for them. But if you’ll notice I didn’t take relationship status, style choices, hobby choices, sexuality headcannons, or appearance into account when talking about what great role models they are because you shouldn’t. Of course women and girls deserve more than just one type of girl to look up to, but one type of girl isn’t any better or worse than another. You can be hyper feminine like Cinderella, Not feminine at all like Merida, or a little bit of both like Mulan. You can be smart like Belle, or naive yet kind like Snow White. All of them are wonderful. 

I’ll go ahead and leave you my favorite Disney feminist hero.

(she’s amazing. google her real quick)

Rough

Square Filled- bondage

Rating- Explicit

Tags- Alpha!Sam x Omega!reader, rough smut, bondage (restraint with ropes)

Word Count- 1600ish

A/N: For @spnabobingo​​. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


Fucking finally.
Since your first heat when you were just a teenager, you’ve been looking, searching for him. And now you’ve got him.

Fucking finally.

Keep reading

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There is a Kyber Crystal is hidden within Chirrut Îmwe’s Bō staff, specifically in the metal piece at the end.

The “Crystal containment lamp,” as it’s described in the Star Wars Rogue One: The Ultimate Visual Guide by Pablo Hidalgo, contains not a full Jedi Kyber Crystal, but “a kyber sliver.”

However, this doesn’t mean Chirrut is Force-sensitive, but rather the Kyber crystals known to issue a harmonic sound that typically only Jedi can hear - Chirrut, likely thanks to his blindness enhancing his hearing ability, can hear that harmonic sound.

“Likely being designed as a symbolic source of inner illumination, it also allows Chirrut to better gauge where the end of the staff is, as he can hear both the battery and crystal harmonics.”

Which is also why Chirrut was able to sense the Kyber Crystal on Jyn’s necklace - it wasn’t that he sensed it through the Force, but that he could hear the harmonic vibration of the crystal.