the flying tomato

Jake: *takes phone out and dials someone’s number*

MC: Who are you calling there, Topgun?

Jake: I’m calling the police.

MC: What? Why?

Jake: I’ll have them arrest you, you thief!

MC: What? What are you talking about?

Jake: You have stolen my heart, MC!

Everyone else: Boo!! *Throws coins at Jake*

5

Liam Dunbar x EvolvedWolf!Reader

Requested by Anon

Warnings: None
Word count: 765

Part 1

Tags: @peacefullytatted01, @greek-geek481


“You have to apologize to Y/N.” Scott urged as he sat down beside Liam. Having Stiles sit down as well as they exchanged serious looks, it’s been three days since you lounged towards him after accusing you for belonging in hell with your former friend Theo and you still haven’t spoke to any of them besides Scott about it.

Keep reading

Tag game.

Thank you @ninjafairy86 for making me step into the spotlight *timidly steps in and awkwardly picks up the mic*  

Rules:
1. Post the rules
2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger
3. Write 11 questions of your own
4. And tag 11 people


Her questions:

1. If you could turn any movie into a musical, what would it be?

I’m not a big fan of musicals *dodging flying tomatoes*, but I know for sure what musicals I’d like to turn into movies - eyeing Disney’s DVDs, trauma of my childhood. 

2. If you could eliminate ONE inanimate object from the face of the Earth, what would it be?

Fidget spinners. The whole category as one thing.

3. What is the most ridiculous fact that you know?

I know there are people out there who believe Earth is flat. No kidding.

4. I feel like hearing a horrendously bad knock-knock joke. What is the worst one you know?

Oh, okay. Here we go:

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Etch.”

“Etch who?”

“Bless you, my friend.”

(You did say the worst.)

5. What is the funniest wi-fi name you’ve seen?

I can’t repeat it here.

6. Would you consider a hot dog a sandwich?

Yes…?

7. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever sniffed?

Ha ha, not gonna answer this one.

8. Do you untie your shoes before taking them off, or do you just slide them off?

Definitely the second.

9. What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

Funny story. Friends still joke about it.

Summer a few years ago, we’re at the lake, and there’s this lifeguard. He’s a young man out of a movie, attractive and ripped as hell.

Exchange of glances all afternoon, little smiles. Then it’s time to go. And here goes my moment of idiocy.

While everyone’s ahead of me on the way back to the cars, I gather all my courage, stand, and practically yell, “Goodbye, lifeguard!”.

The blond turns around and smiles.

Happy, I turn the other way and trip over the biggest boulder I’ve ever seen. And I swear, the massive bitch wasn’t there a second before.

Adonis’ reaction is fortunately wasted on me. 

I don’t remember much of the rest of the day, but I still remember the way my face flushed in embarrassment.

Why did this happen? The guy was probably in a relationship. Karma’s a bitch.

10. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Oysters. Never more.

11. And, last but not least, how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?

I’m half-Italian - as in 50% Italian, as in my father is a real Italian, and I’ve lived in Italy most of my life and- WHAT? PINEAPPLE. ON. PIZZA? COSA?

No. Effing. Way.


Unfortunately I don’t have “real friends” on tumblr, because they are all bitches and use Facebook and Instagram, except for two dear souls I know well. Very well. And they manage a blog, @theamazingdigitalart.

So I’m going to ask the dumbest questions and coerce them into answering. 

Please, don’t hate me.

1. You never say your names, preferring to hide behind your initials. So, what are your names? Let’s give your followers a taste of reality behind your Batman masks. Unless, like with Batman, the costume is the reality.

2. Favourite illustrator? This is easy. Wait, it’s not. You have to pick one for both. Happy arguing.

3. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? Again, happy arguing.

4. If you were to choose only one thing, animate or inanimate, to take to a desert island, what would it be?

5. What’s your goal in life?

6. Cat or dog?

7. Tom or Jerry?

8. City or countryside?

9. The most beautiful book cover, any genre applies.

10. I love villains. Do you like them? Who’s the best villain in your opinion? (keep it to the fictional universe.)

11. Finally, you’re one question away from taking a sigh of relief. This is the question we artists dread and hate. Here it is: Traditional vs digital art. What’s better? 

trans women or transfeminine folk in the northern alabama area

i’m a trans man with sooooooooooo many feminine clothing items that i don’t wear anymore and i’m looking to sell them to any trans women or transfeminine people in my area! i’m gonna put pics of me in the dresses i’m selling (i’ll make another post for shirts and skirts some other day) along with prices, size, etc under the read more. if anyone is interested in them, please message me and we can work out the details!! even if you’re not interested, i would love if you could reblog this so more people could see it!!

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OKAY BUT MAGICAL PASTA SAUCE

@kiyarasabel and I were joking about flying ointments that used tomato as their nightshade and now I want to make magic pasta sauce.

Okay so let’s start with the tomato itself.  First of all its botanical name means ‘edible wolf peach’ and is a ward against evil, bringing in love both romantic, platonic and sexual. 

Garlic is another powerful protective herb that goes great in pasta sauce.

Rosemary is also a great protective and banishing herb.

A dash of chili for heat, strength and finely protection and a dash of salt for warding and cleansing.

Boom.

  • *Mari, Alya, Nino, Adrien and Nathanael are at a concert*
  • Nino: dude this guy SUCKS
  • Everyone else: *nods aggressively*
  • Adrien: why are we here
  • Mari: I wish I had a tomato I could throw at him
  • Alya: *furious head turn to Nathanael* *smirks*
  • *thirty seconds later*
  • Mari: OH MY GOD ALYA WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT NATHANAEL DOWN
  • Nino: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
  • Alya: IM THROWING A TOMATO LIKE MARI WANTED
  • Nathanael: BITCH IM A FLYING TOMATO
MBTI: Real Inspiring Women

Disclaimer: Types are based on pure speculation and the dubious celebritytypes.com *ducks from flying tomatoes* Nevertheless, these are all women who achieved great feats in their lifetime (whether you find moral fault with them is arbitrary)

In honour of Women’s Day (not to isolate my male audience or anything…but if you must know, Men’s day is on Nov. 19 – you learn something new every day!) here are 16 unique women who have led extraordinary lives:

MALALA YOUSAFZAI – ENFJ – Activist for female education & youngest Nobel Prize laureate

“One child, one teacher, one pen and one book can change the world.”

AUDREY HEPBURN – INFP – Actress, Icon, Artist, Humanitarian

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

ANNE FRANK ENFP – Inspiring Diarist who died in the Holocaust

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”

AGATHA CHRISTIE INFJ – Author famous for her Crime/Detective Novels

“Crime is terribly revealing. Try and vary your methods as you will, your tastes, your habits, your attitude of mind, and your soul is revealed by your actions.”

MARIE CURIE – INTP – Physicist & Chemist; 2-time Nobel Peace prize winner

“I am one of those who think like Nobel, that humanity will draw more good than evil from new discoveries.”

MARGARET CHO ENTP – Comedian, Actress, Writer, Activist

“It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humour can save you.”

BENAZIR BHUTTO – ENTJ – 11th Prime Minister of Pakistan

“Military dictatorship is born from the power of the gun, and so it undermines the concept of the rule of law and gives birth to a culture of might, a culture of weapons, violence and intolerance.”

JODIE FOSTER – INTJ – Actress, Producer, Director

“Normal is not something to aspire to, it’s something to get away from.“

ROSA PARKS – ISFJ – Civil Rights Activist

“When one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

AYAAN HIRSI ALI – ISTJ – Author, Politician & Activist

“I would like to be judged on the validity of my arguments, not as a victim.”

BETTE DAVIS – ESTJ – Legendary Actress

“A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else.”

WHITNEY HOUSTON – ESFJ – Legendary Singer, Actress, Producer & Model

“I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow; if I fail, or if I succeed at least I did as I believe.”

BARBARA STREISAND – ISFP – Singer, Songwriter, Icon, Actress & Filmmaker

“My nose was part of my heritage, and if I had talent to sing and to act, why wasn’t that enough?”

PAM GRIER – ESFP – Actress & Kick-ass Action Heroine

“That’s what he was saying, the civil rights movement - judge me for my character, not how black my skin is, not how yellow my skin is, how short I am, how tall or fat or thin; It’s by my character.”

FRIDA KAHLO ISTP – Artist/Painter

“At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.”

JUDI DENCH – ESTP – Actress & Author

“The more I do, the more frightened I get.  But that is essential. Otherwise why would I go on doing it?”